Haven't you finished with that yet? Get a bloody move on!
What the hell are you playing at?
Hello?
Mum?
Shut up! Shut up!
*CREDITS*
Jasper!
We need a gardener, it's like The Day Of The Triffids out there.
Mother, what are you doing here?
As previously discussed,
I've decided to reoccupy my old studio,
the scene of so many of my artistic breakthroughs.
Well, don't look so horrified, I shan't trouble you.
This is about me and my growth as an artist.
Honestly, darling, you won't even know I'm here.
Don't forget we're having lunch.
We'll be as quiet as two little mice.
It will all be between you, me and the lamp post.
Darling, you won't hear so much as a peep.
We'll do our best not to get under your feet, won't we, Kafka?
Ah! Ah!
Ambulance, please.
Oh, and if at all possible, no sirens.
Ahhh!
SIREN OK, thanks, mate, thank you.
Thank you.
The late, great DS Donckers.
- No prizes for getting here first. - Just another minor moral victory.
Vijay Banerjee, local jeweller, hit while crossing the street.
Not to minimise his pain,
but why has Rabbit despatched us to a road traffic accident?
He was carrying these.
Ooh, a goody bag.
See if his family want them back first.
'You never said anything about a child being involved.'
'What difference does it make?'
Don't! They'll see your face.
It's itchy.
- You expecting someone? - No. No!
Are you doing anything tonight?
- I've got a gig. - Gig.
Not sure brass band concert constitutes as a gig.
Who's at the door?
Calm down, it's probably just a delivery.
Oh, jeez, I'm teasing. Don't be so touchy.
It's OK. I get it.
Let me go and have a look, see what I can make out.
Come on, let's go.
It's a man and a woman, smartly dressed.
Don't worry, they're leaving.
Don't tell me to calm down, OK?
- Yeah, OK. - You're making me nervous.
What did they look like?
Hard to say. Smartly dressed.
- Should we be worried? - Padma?
- My phone. - 'Fat lot of help you are!'
- Don't. - 'I don't trust this any more.'
He'll be here, just have to wait.
Padma, don't!
Dreaming about the big day?
No man will ever get me up the aisle, Dan.
Let me know when you change your mind.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Hi. DS Donckers, this is my colleague DS Winters.
We're making enquiries related to
a man we think is your proprietor.
Mr Banerjee's not here.
We're aware of that, Mr Banerjee has been in an accident.
- How badly is he hurt? - We don't know yet.
We're trying to locate his family.
Stop it!
I only have Mr Banerjee's home number, I'm afraid.
Oh, finally.
- Hey, don't answer it. - Why not?
It's not what we arranged.
What the hell are you doing? Get back in line now!
It's going to voicemail.
Your boss was carrying some pretty special-looking diamonds,
a lot of them, is that normal?
Wh... erm, he may have been on his way to see a customer.
Mind if we take a look at the safe?
I couldn't, not without checking with Mr Banerjee first.
We could come back with a warrant.
And a load of police vans.
Sirens blaring.
All right.
Is something missing?
I... couldn't say, I'm not responsible for the safe.
But you know the combination.
- What's your name? - Amrit Khan.
Ms Khan, we're police detectives, not tax inspectors,
we just want to know what's missing.
Black diamonds.
How many?
- A lot. - How much are they worth?
Erm, around a million.
Mr Banerjee would never take them out of the shop without security.
Mr Banerjee?
- We've given him a sedative. - We need to talk to him.
- Mr Banerjee? - You need to ask the doctor first.
Mr Banerjee, can you hear me?
My... My family.
I have to go.
Can you tell us what happened?
I have to go.
They're crazy.
Who is, Mr Banerjee?
They're going to kill my family.
Boss, I think we might have a hostage situation.
Mr Banerjee's freaking out,
he's convinced his family is in danger.
It WILL take a couple of weeks
before the brace can go off, Mr Tempest.
Try not to fall down the stairs again.
Is there someone to pick you up?
'Anyone you can think of, sir?'
A gardening accident?
But you're such an unlikely horticulturalist.
Patently.
Are these your gardening clothes?
They had to cut my trousers off.
These were the only items in my size
that it was possible to acquire in the hospital gift shop.
Are you congested?
This is Ben Sparrow from the anti-kidnap and extortion unit.
Hi.
DS Winters and DS Donckers, the investigating officers.
We are still carrying out reconnaissance
and we do not know as yet how many
hostage takers we're dealing with.
We're waiting to get some thermal imaging equipment on site.
Do they know that we know?
No, and I want to keep it that way.
This is Banerjee's mobile phone.
We, er, picked it up at the hospital.
Good, very good.
It might be helpful. We should avoid contact as long as practical.
That's standard procedure.
We think we have two hostages,
his wife, and their daughter, Priyanka.
They are both registered at the property
and none of the neighbours have seen either of them exit as yet.
Priyanka's car is still parked outside.
That's all the intel we have today.
So...
..now, all we have to do is wait.
Professor Tempest's office?
Mrs Tempest!
Yes, he's right here.
Darling, don't forget we're having lunch.
He's not going anywhere soon.
So much to discuss.
One o'clock? I'll tell him.
Bye, Mrs Tempest.
Doubtless she'll be very keen to tend to the invalid.
This might be the moment to escape.
'Well, you heard the woman.'
Something's not right, he should have been here by now.
Let's get the girl to call.
Where's your phone?
In my coat.
And, where's your coat?
All of you into the bedroom, now!
Call your dad, and no messing.
Don't answer.
They'll know we know.
'Please leave your message after the tone.'
- Daddy, Daddy, main hoon... - Speak... English.
Daddy, it's me.
'Where are you?
'You ARE going to do what they're asking, right?'
- Voicemail. - Play it.
'Daddy? Daddy, main hoon...' 'Speak... English.'
'Daddy, it's me.
'Where are you?
'You ARE going to do what they're asking, right?'
Send a message.
Problems with safe. Stop.
Need more time. Stop.
There was an armed raid at Banerjee's shop last year,
it triggered the alarm, but the raiders got away.
- Did they take anything? - No.
- Second time lucky. - Listen, I appreciate the legwork,
but I'm trying to deal with a hostage situation here.
Can't be any harm trying to find out what's motivating them.
See what else you can dig up.
- Professor, have you been skiing? - What happened?
A displaced fracture of the distal end of my fibula.
Shouldn't you be at home, resting it?
My home and office are being disinfected as we speak.
I have a problem with vermin.
He's got to be somewhere.
I turn my back for five minutes. He's been acting very oddly.
Jasper is always a little odd.
He's taken up gardening.
What did you say?
Gardening.
I heard you the first time.
I thought I might make myself useful here.
Jasper, we're in the middle of a hostage situation...
No. Not his field.
I have written and lectured extensively on the subject.
We've brought in the big guns.
Thanks for the offer, though.
Oh.
I need to rest my foot. Erm... Do you mind?
No rush.
Wilfred!
Ah! What are you doing?
I can't abide a man working at height.
I'm tidying my Ps and Qs.
Well, do get down.
Steeplejacking at your time of life.
Wilfred, Jasper has started working on the garden.
Ah.
You know what that means?
Mm. He's digging.
He intends to stay.
Will you speak to him?
Well, yes, of course, Adelaide, but I'm sure it's just a phase.
Huh! Wish I was blessed with your naivety.
Tell me about these diamonds.
Black diamonds, from Brazil.
From outer space, actually, they merely landed in Brazil.
Excuse me?
Black diamonds, carbonados,
they're thought to be the remains of asteroids.
Did you just colour code the teabags?
Asteroids, which formed
from interstellar clouds of diamond crystals.
- How much are they worth? - Jeweller mentioned a million.
I would estimate considerably more than that.
Ah, Ben,
come in, help yourself to a tea, coffee, whatever...
We were just discussing your ransom kidnapping.
Excuse me?
Ransom kidnapping, the act of forcing a victim
to hand over valuables by holding their family hostage.
I know what a ransom kidnapping is.
Oh, in which case, I wonder whether you might consider
adhering to my three golden rules of hostage negotiation?
I'm sorry, who are you?
- This is Professor Tempest. - He's our external advisor.
Hmm.
What would these, er, so-called golden rules be?
Firstly, always give them precisely
what they want, if at all possible.
It's statistically the wisest course of action.
I deal with real-life emergencies mate, not statistics.
Chief Inspector?
This is Professor Tempest speaking.
Who's this?
Put it on speaker.
'Where the hell is Banerjee?'
Mr Banerjee is currently in the hospital,
he was hit by a car whilst fetching the diamonds.
That's why we haven't heard anything.
'Are you police?'
The police are here, but I would not recommend talking to them,
I am not entirely convinced Mr Swallow can be trusted.
I'm hanging up now.
He hung up.
- What are you doing? - Are you mad?
- On the contrary. - You totally shafted us.
You gave me no choice.
I was going to offer them exactly what they want,
but you lied to them, which forced me to follow rule number two.
And what's your rule number two when it's at home?
Tell the truth, at all times.
- This is bullshit. - I disagree.
It's pure logic,
informed by extensive analysis of the available data sets.
My recent paper on the subject...
If you interfere again, I'll have you arrested.
Is that logical enough for you?
I think you should come with me, Jasper.
Jog on.
Now they know we know,
we need to secure the area and
get everyone evacuated immediately.
Stay in here.
- I'll find someone. - Yeah.
Can you run a check on all parked vehicles
within a 500-yard radius of the property, please?
Yes, sir.
'Papa Alfa 8-7, parked units in place.'
'Mike Bravo 6-8 to control, ETA minus three minutes.'
'Control, Sierra Juliett 4-0 requesting sit-rep.'
Let me see.
There's a sniper on the roof!
There must be half the police in the city out there!
You promised me it wouldn't come to this!
We've finally got thermal imaging.
It confirms there are two of them,
and they've moved the hostages to a separate room,
that should minimise the collateral damage if we have to go in.
It's the last resort, I hope.
Look at those shapes and movements.
There are four hostages, not two of them.
Sister and her little 'un.
These things seldom work out well.
Really?
First thing I've eaten today.
- D'you want one? - No.
Sparrow.
Out of the question.
OK. OK, calm down, calm down.
They said they'll only talk to the professor.
Are you sure?
Absolutely.
- To measure is... -To know.
- To guess is... - To miss.
But are you REALLY sure?
Categorically so.
Because this buzzard or blackbird
really doesn't think much of you.
- Why are you here all the time? - Mind your own business.
- What's in the suitcase? - You ask too many questions.
Jasper, we need you.
Well, go on, then.
- Hello? - 'Professor?'
Indeed, this is Professor Tempest.
I do not negotiate with anyone holding a child hostage.
I wish you a pleasant day.
Back to your office?
Yeah.
What the hell are you doing?
Trying to bring a hostage situation to a successful conclusion.
By taunting the hostage takers?
Don't tell me you trust Brad Tit and his macho posturing
more than a scientific approach backed by data?
Sparrow, it's Ben Sparrow, and he's actually been very professional.
Are you going somewhere?
Listen, Jasper, I think it would be better
if you just stayed out of this case, I'm gonna call you a taxi.
Yes?
'Papa Alfa 8-7 to control... A child in the building...'
So...
what's your third golden rule, Jasper?
Hey, well done, I'm really proud of you.
You're such a brave girl.
Daddy should be here by now.
Why is he taking so long?
Free my hands.
No, it's too risky.
Priyanka, please, get the scissors.
They're there in the drawer, just go.
Get them.
- What we doing now, huh? - What do you mean what do we do now?
- We just let two hostages go. - So what have you got next, brains?
Huh? Have a think.
We should just give them what they want...
..then this will all be over.
Your father would never abandon us, never.
Something's happened.
Come on, just cut me free.
Sit still.
Ooh, shit!
Let's speak to the professor again.
Professor Tempest.
'We want a million pounds...'
in unmarked notes, and a car, and free passage.
'Or we start shooting.'
- Professor? - 'I believe you're bluffing.'
- 'Bluffing?' - Yes, exactly. Bluffing.
To deceive by presenting a self-confident front.
You have considerably less leverage than you'd have us believe.
You're surrounded by Mr Parrot's snipers,
who will shoot you dead the moment you leave the building,
and unbeknownst to you,
your situation has recently become even less promising.
What do you mean?
Mr Banerjee has died.
The accident ruptured his liver. He did not survive.
No, wait!
Sweet mother of God, Tempest, if this ends badly...
You... You will be responsible for the victims.
It will not end badly.
You were in on this?
The third golden rule.
Convince the kidnappers their situation is hopeless.
Well, they're desperate now.
No. No!
- What are you doing? - Let her go! Let her go!
Come on!
Let her go! Let...
Let her go!
Let her...
'4-0 control, shot fired.'
'Control 4-0. Authorised firearm offices clear to deploy.'
Priyanka!
Armed police! Armed police!
Keep your hands where we can see them!
Don't move! Don't move!
Right.
Uh-huh. Thank you.
Everyone's OK.
The whole family.
And the gunmen?
There's no sign of them, but they're still searching the vicinity.
The building was surrounded.
They might have got out through a service tunnel.
- What about the shot? - A distraction.
Part of the escape plan they worked out in advance.
How did they know about a service tunnel when we didn't?
An inside job?
Has all the hallmarks.
Banerjee took his most valuable stones.
Carbonados are easy to sell on the black market.
- Insurance fraud? - Exactly so.
He staged the kidnap so he could cash in twice.
The only thing he didn't plan for is getting hit by a car.
Yes, that was fortunate.
Not for Mr Banerjee, but for me.
It meant I could convince the kidnappers
their situation was hopeless.
If Banerjee was dead, their plan had failed.
Impressive.
That is the rankest tracksuit I've ever seen.
But still... impressive.
You can't hide out here forever, you know,
you've got to go home some time.
I could say the same to you.
Going to my sister's.
Derek and I have decided to spend a little time apart.
Go on.
I know you can't resist the urge to say "I told you so".
Well, if you will run off with a boring accountant named Derek.
Well, at least he can open the door without wearing bloody gloves.
I knew you could never be happy with him!
Jasper! There are golden rules to relationships, too.
You never gave me what I wanted, you never told me the truth,
but you sure as hell convinced me that our situation was hopeless!
I've... been putting off this decision for way too long.
I don't want to spend my life feeling half happy.
You're gonna want to hear... this.
We ran a check on parked vehicles in the vicinity of the apartment.
Uniform helped, we struck lucky.
Purple Ford Fiesta stolen yesterday.
Uh-huh?
Turns out they were hiding in the cellars until we left.
Luckily, we had a team waiting for them
at their stolen escape vehicle.
We've got 'em, ma'am.
Out! Get out! Move!
- Good. - And we're onto something else, but...
We have to check something.
Mrs Banerjee, we have good news.
We've arrested two suspects.
You said Priyanka saw one of them without their balaclava,
is that right?
Yes.
Argh!
We'd like you to see if you can ID him.
Just informally for now.
Do you recognise either of them?
Is it him?
I don't think so.
'Are you really sure?'
'Yes, I'm sure.'
We recovered enough fingerprints from your apartment
to convict them five times over.
But if you can't ID them, well...
Unless...
What?
Unless Miss Banerjee is lying.
Why would she do that?
You own your own business, right?
In the gem trade, like my father, importing from India.
Doing OK?
Bit up and down.
Priyanka?
I'd say that's a bit of an understatement.
While our colleagues were trying to negotiate your release,
we had time for a bit of digging.
Winding up petition from your creditors, served ten days ago.
Did you ask your father for a handout?
Did he refuse?
What is going on here?
We've spent hours in here, there's fucking police outside.
- There's police? - There's police.
Get out!
How could you?
Mummy.
Mummy, I didn't want this.
Mummy, please.
I'm so sorry.
Don't take it to heart.
It was an inside job. You were half right.
To me, being half right is like being half happy.
'Two men are in custody...'
Hi, Dad.
'The suspects were arrested when armed police officers forced...'
- You all right, love? - Yeah, fine.
I made your favourite pasta.
'..confirm that no-one was injured in the incident.
'Earlier, streets surrounding the property were cordoned off
'for several hours, as specialist officers
'from the National Anti-Kidnap And Extortion Unit
'negotiated with the hostage takers
for the release of the family.
'Police are refusing to confirm reports...'
- I can manage, you know. - I know.
'As a result of the negotiations, a woman and a girl of six
'were let go by the hostage takers...'
- Who was that? - It's a friend.
- That kind of friend? - He's just a friend.
He's just someone I work with.
- _ - Unfortunately.
Eat some.
It's delicious.
You haven't even tasted it yet.
- This is not going to work, Mother. - What isn't?
You, moving in here.
You clearly need my help.
I know what I need from you, Mother, and it is not your help.
But, darling, look at you.
I was doing perfectly well
until you burst in and discombobulated me.
I thought it was the father, but it was the daughter.
An unforgivable mistake.
Dear heart. Don't be so hard on yourself.
You always were a mercurial boy.
Now, if you don't mind, I have an exhibition to prepare for.
By the way, leisure wear's not a look you can pull off.
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