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Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

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- Hey, Heath.
- Name's Heather.

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I'm a student. I'm a student.

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I'm a student?

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So tell me some other
stuff about my future.

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The wedding is in two weeks!

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I just wanted to drop off

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a little wedding present for you.

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Does this have anything to do with

10
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Robert and Harvard Law School?

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- Who's Robert?
- Right, so Robert was my dog,

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and he just left me one day.

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- Robert, you know you can't leave me.
- It's over.

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Josh is leaving me to become

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- a priest.
- Sue him.

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Breach of contract, financial damages.

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Why doesn't anybody
understand what I really want?

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Well, what do you really want?

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I want him to face what he did to me.

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Do you know what this person did to me?

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You're gonna know everything
he did to me and every terrible

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thing he made me do. Oh, my
God, I told him everything.

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Oh, my God, I told him everything.

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I told him everything.

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Oh, my God, I told him everything.
I told him everything.

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I told him everything.

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Stop saying that.

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And take off that stupid dress.

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It's embarrassing.

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- Ugh. What are you doing here?
- You have no one to talk to.

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Your anxiety is so palpable,

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it's manifested in human
form as me, who is you.

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- I guess that makes sense.
- You told Josh

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all the shady, lying crap that you did,

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and you did some crazy things, bro.

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Even I'm surprised, and I'm you.

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Tracking his car,
breaking into his home,

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spying on him while he
had sex with other girls?

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I mean, who does that stuff?!

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And then you confessed
it all to him. So stupid.

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So now he knows the truth about you.

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No. Wait. He doesn't
know the whole truth.

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Uh-uh. He thinks Robert's a dog.

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Yeah, everyone thinks that.

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Yeah, and that's your only saving grace,

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'cause if people found out

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that Robert was actually a
professor that you stalked,

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and then you tried to
burn down his apartment,

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which got you put into a loony bin...

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Hey, "loony" is a derogatory term.

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Loony! Loony! Loony!

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Ugh. The things that you
told Josh are unforgivable,

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and once he tells your friends,

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oh, they are all gonna be done with you.

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He's not gonna tell anyone.

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I mean, he's not even in West Covina.
He's up in priest school.

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- Pre-school?
- Priest school.

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So, yeah. Why would he tell anyone?

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Uh, maybe because
you're about to sue him?

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Yeah, you're gonna literally
force him to defend himself.

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You handed him his defense
with that rant in the church!

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Oh, my God, you're right.

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Oh, my God, I didn't even think of that!

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Of course you didn't.

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Now, you need to call off that case,

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you stalking, obsessive,
psycho, crazy...

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I'm not crazy, I'm not
crazy, I'm not crazy.

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Don't call me crazy!

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? Crazy is when I go off the rails ?

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? This is what you've done to me ?

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? Crazy is how your
loving makes me feel ?

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? This is what I always want to be ?

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? I like it when a
girl gets crazy in bed ?

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? Don't mess with the bitch
who's crazy in the head ?

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- ? You do ?
- ? You don't ?

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? Want to be crazy

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- ? And you don't ?
- ? You do ?

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? Want to be crazy

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? To clarify, yes,
no, on the crazy ?

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? We hope this helps. ?

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What?

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-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

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What?

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Well, you've been
standing there all morning.

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And I thought maybe you threw your
back out, and I have a massager.

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Actually, I have two... one, two.

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So, turn around, let me get on in there.

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- Get out of here.
- Oh. Okay.

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Why are you anxious about this?

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There's no need to be anxious.
It's easy. Just call off the case.

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Let sleeping Chans lie. It's fine.

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Also, you need to keep your
internal monologue internal

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starting now.

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- Hey, Rebecca. Wait.
- What? What? What?

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Um...

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- Well, I, uh...
- Hmm?

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I was, I was thinking about, um,

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well, about the other night.

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When I tried to kill Josh's grandfather,

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that was weird.

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Right? But the other thing
that happened between us...

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That wasn't weird, that
was... that was cool, right?

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Are you asking me if
us having sex was cool?

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No, I wouldn't do that.

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That would be weird. I
wouldn't do that. That's...

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It's just that ever since
the, you know, lovemaking,

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the sex-making, um...

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... I haven't heard from you.

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Yeah. Okay, so, um,
sorry. I've just been

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a little distracted, and I
actually really can't talk now.

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Oh, there's Paula. I got to go. Bye.

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Hey, hey, hey, Paula.

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Um, I need to talk
to you about the case.

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Ooh! Yes. No, I need
to talk to you, too.

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Um, okay, so you know our
favorite Internet thing?

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Celebrities with cellulite that
look like kittens with yarn?

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I forgot about that.
No, our favorite blog.

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The Corset.

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- Feminist news, nail art and more?
- Yes!

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I tweeted at them, told
them a little about the case,

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just enough to wet their whistle, and...

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they love it!

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They love it. They want to do
a piece on how the two of us

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are using our legal acumen to
defeat the patriarchy, AKA Josh.

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Me and you, two ladies of the law,

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just standing shoulder to shoulder

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with the scales of
justice and no shirt on.

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Paula, we need to drop the case.

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What? Why would we... ?

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What?

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So, listen, I appreciate
how hard you've been working.

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I-I really do.

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But I worry that our
case isn't strong enough.

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What do you mean?

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Okay, so you've taken the lead on this,

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which I so, so, so appreciate,

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but I was looking over
some of the filings

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last night... your filings...

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- Yeah...
- and I don't think

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our legal bona fides are
where they need to be.

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It's a cute case,
like, for a law student.

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It's-it's-it's cute, and, like,

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I see the effort behind it,

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but I-I'm seeing the effort... too much.

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Oh, my God.

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From one lawyer to another,

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someday, future, hopeful lawyer,

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I want to let you know...

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It's like if you had spinach
in your teeth, I'd tell you,

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and right now, I want to let you know

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on a professional level,
we have spinach in our case.

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I-I-I thought it was
good stuff, and I was wrong,

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and I'm super embarrassed,
and I feel really stupid.

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- No, no, no. No, don't feel stupid.
Don't feel stupid. - No, no, no. No.

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Look, you're in school. You're learning.

156
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- It's fine.
- That's what school is for.

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Thank you, because I was about to file
all those documents. Oh, well, that...

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- Which I will not do.
- Well, that would have been embarrassing.

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- That would have been horrible.
- That would have been embarrassing.

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And I will call the editor

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of The Corset, obviously, and tell them

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that we are not interested
in an interview.

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Smart. Now, that's a smart idea.

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Yeah, but-but it's okay.

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We move on. Right? We're done.

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? Done, done-done-done ?

167
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? Done, done ?

168
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? Done, done-done-done, done ?

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? Done ?

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? Done-done-done, done, done ?

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? Done, done-done, done-done. ?

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- Ned, what are you doing?
- You're done. Get it?

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You're done with college.

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What?

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I'm not a great bursar.

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I should have noticed
this earlier, but Heath...

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Um, it's "Heather," actually,

178
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so just one more syllable,
and then you're there.

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Okay, Heather.

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You've taken every course
we have, all of them.

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You took men's hockey... twice.

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Of course I did. The cool of the ice,

183
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the sound of the puck hitting the stick.

184
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What a rush.

185
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Well, we don't let people stay here

186
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after they've completed every course,

187
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so, once you finish
marine biology next week,

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you will be graduating.

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No. No. No, no. I'm a student.

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Oh, not after next week.

191
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Here is your cap and gown.

192
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Congratulations, Heather.

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Spread your wings.

194
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You're about to fly!

195
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Is everything okay in here, sir?

196
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Yes. Why?

197
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So, listen, Nathaniel,

198
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you've hired and fired
me numerous times.

199
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I've failed you at basically everything

200
00:07:58,867 --> 00:08:00,233
you've ever asked me to do.

201
00:08:00,235 --> 00:08:02,836
Does this lead anywhere other
than "you're fired" again?

202
00:08:02,838 --> 00:08:05,372
But I see it. I see
what I can do for you,

203
00:08:05,374 --> 00:08:07,007
what I can bring to this company.

204
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I told you, we don't want to feature

205
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your pottery in the lobby. Thanks.

206
00:08:10,245 --> 00:08:11,678
That's not it. That was just...

207
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,246
That's one of the things that I offer,

208
00:08:13,248 --> 00:08:14,981
and I think it's actually
still very much on the table.

209
00:08:14,983 --> 00:08:16,383
What I was going to say, though, is,

210
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I bring a lifelong
experience in rejection.

211
00:08:20,853 --> 00:08:22,353
What are you talking about?

212
00:08:23,197 --> 00:08:24,858
Look, I saw you out there with Rebecca.

213
00:08:24,860 --> 00:08:27,462
She's blowing you off, sir, and I...

214
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- I mean, it's real clear.
- That's not it.

215
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We had sex, and now she's
busy, that's all.

216
00:08:33,769 --> 00:08:36,336
Oh.

217
00:08:36,338 --> 00:08:37,904
Nathaniel, Nathaniel, Nathaniel,

218
00:08:37,906 --> 00:08:39,139
Nathaniel...

219
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I've been through this, okay?

220
00:08:40,676 --> 00:08:42,742
And I know how to get you back in there

221
00:08:42,744 --> 00:08:44,044
when you're being ignored and rejected.

222
00:08:44,046 --> 00:08:46,079
This is not rejection.

223
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Okay, I don't get rejected.

224
00:08:47,649 --> 00:08:49,349
I've never been rejected. Look at me.

225
00:08:49,351 --> 00:08:51,551
I'm a white ten. I don't get rejected.

226
00:08:51,553 --> 00:08:52,986
I get approved for loans.

227
00:08:52,988 --> 00:08:55,622
I mean, that's so offensive to
both non-whites and non-tens,

228
00:08:55,624 --> 00:08:58,335
but, okay, can I explain
it to you this way, sir?

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All right, you gave it to her good.

230
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She liked it.

231
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Status up here, okay?

232
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:06,800
Then she leaves your apartment.

233
00:09:06,802 --> 00:09:08,001
You're in bed

234
00:09:08,003 --> 00:09:10,804
clutching your covers to
your chin like a child.

235
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You call and text her.

236
00:09:13,544 --> 00:09:15,675
Now you're chasing her
through the entire office,

237
00:09:15,677 --> 00:09:18,111
being like, "Why won't
you call me?" Bam!

238
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You got to get the power back.

239
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You got to put the
"Plimp" back in "Plimpton."

240
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- You mean, "Pimp."
- I do not.

241
00:09:25,827 --> 00:09:27,754
Here's what you're
gonna do. Stay with me.

242
00:09:27,756 --> 00:09:29,623
You are going to ask
her out on another date.

243
00:09:29,625 --> 00:09:32,659
Then you're gonna make sweet,
sweet love to her, and then,

244
00:09:32,661 --> 00:09:36,463
you leave, you do not call.

245
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Where are you now?

246
00:09:39,802 --> 00:09:41,201
You're plimpin'.

247
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You're big plimpin'.

248
00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:47,654
You're an idiot, but...

249
00:09:48,377 --> 00:09:50,176
you make a certain kind of sense.

250
00:09:50,178 --> 00:09:51,411
Thank you so much.

251
00:09:51,413 --> 00:09:53,079
You know, my shoulders
are a little tight.

252
00:09:53,081 --> 00:09:55,849
And I would love to help. Thank you.

253
00:09:55,851 --> 00:09:58,951
And breathe.

254
00:09:59,352 --> 00:10:03,521
I really thought this
stuff was all really strong.

255
00:10:05,279 --> 00:10:09,095
Um, well, you know, it's-it's
hard to have perspective

256
00:10:09,097 --> 00:10:10,630
on our own work sometimes, right?

257
00:10:13,431 --> 00:10:15,669
Psst.

258
00:10:15,671 --> 00:10:17,671
Come on, got to talk to
you. Get to the bathroom.

259
00:10:17,673 --> 00:10:19,002
No.

260
00:10:20,008 --> 00:10:23,760
Means no and that's a lesson
for all you men.

261
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,447
Hey, boobs. Big ol' boobs.

262
00:10:27,822 --> 00:10:30,963
- Over here. Get to the bathroom.
- Stop it.

263
00:10:30,988 --> 00:10:32,455
It's like...

264
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,337
stop writing so many
books, Joyce Carol Oates.

265
00:10:35,362 --> 00:10:37,924
Amen. I'm drowning over here.

266
00:10:37,926 --> 00:10:39,244
You know who should write more books?

267
00:10:39,269 --> 00:10:40,601
Michael Crichton.

268
00:10:40,762 --> 00:10:42,362
He had all those hits and then...

269
00:10:42,364 --> 00:10:43,697
Yeah, he's dead.

270
00:10:43,699 --> 00:10:45,932
What? Wait, really?

271
00:10:46,286 --> 00:10:48,086
No.

272
00:10:48,401 --> 00:10:50,268
I got to make some calls.

273
00:10:50,372 --> 00:10:52,939
- Move, bitch.
- Okay!

274
00:10:52,941 --> 00:10:57,243
Okay, let's
all get some coffee.

275
00:10:57,245 --> 00:10:59,525
I'll be right back.

276
00:11:01,782 --> 00:11:04,451
Okay, what is wrong with you? I mean me.

277
00:11:04,453 --> 00:11:06,540
- Check your phone, dum-dum.
- What?

278
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:09,756
You got an alert and you were
so busy making your best friend

279
00:11:09,758 --> 00:11:12,325
question her self-worth
that you didn't even notice.

280
00:11:12,327 --> 00:11:13,705
Okay. Fine.

281
00:11:14,763 --> 00:11:17,297
Josh Chan started a live video?

282
00:11:17,299 --> 00:11:18,814
Oh, my God.

283
00:11:18,869 --> 00:11:20,700
I've been off the grid for a while.

284
00:11:21,188 --> 00:11:23,570
Up here at the seminary, yo.

285
00:11:23,572 --> 00:11:27,007
Talking to G.O.D. and, uh,
I came to a big revelation.

286
00:11:27,009 --> 00:11:29,009
I have decided to leave the priesthood.

287
00:11:29,011 --> 00:11:30,773
That's right, everyone.

288
00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:32,881
Church is out of session for me.

289
00:11:33,048 --> 00:11:34,848
I'm-a coming home.

290
00:11:34,850 --> 00:11:36,082
Oh, boy.

291
00:11:36,084 --> 00:11:38,740
Looks like someone's
leaving priest school.

292
00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:40,453
And you know what that means.

293
00:11:40,455 --> 00:11:42,722
Okay, no, no, no. It
doesn't necessarily mean

294
00:11:42,724 --> 00:11:44,333
he's gonna tell everyone everything.

295
00:11:44,358 --> 00:11:45,958
I got a lot to tell everyone.

296
00:11:46,278 --> 00:11:47,543
A ton.

297
00:11:47,568 --> 00:11:49,963
Like, a crazy amount.

298
00:11:49,965 --> 00:11:51,965
But I want to tell everyone in person.

299
00:11:51,967 --> 00:11:54,211
So, I'm shouting out to my friends.

300
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,269
If you want to get all the scoop,

301
00:11:56,271 --> 00:11:59,072
head on over to Home
Base for happy hour today.

302
00:11:59,074 --> 00:12:00,910
I'm gonna lay it all out for you.

303
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,949
The Home Base Bacon Boppers are on me.

304
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,003
See you then.

305
00:12:06,314 --> 00:12:07,781
Chan out.

306
00:12:08,848 --> 00:12:10,250
He's coming home

307
00:12:10,252 --> 00:12:12,852
and he's gonna tell
everybody everything.

308
00:12:12,854 --> 00:12:14,120
Oh, my God.

309
00:12:14,122 --> 00:12:15,422
What are we gonna do?

310
00:12:15,424 --> 00:12:17,090
What are we gonna do?
What are we gonna do?

311
00:12:17,092 --> 00:12:18,625
What are we gonna do?
What are we gonna do?

312
00:12:18,627 --> 00:12:20,226
What are we gonna do?
What are we gonna do?

313
00:12:20,228 --> 00:12:21,995
What are we gonna do?

314
00:12:24,928 --> 00:12:26,127
What are we gonna do?
What are we gonna do?

315
00:12:26,129 --> 00:12:27,662
What are we gonna do?
What are we gonna do?

316
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:31,582
- Okay, don't panic, don't panic.
- I'm your anxiety manifested.

317
00:12:31,607 --> 00:12:34,013
That's all I do. I got one mode.

318
00:12:34,466 --> 00:12:37,711
Aah, let me think. All right.

319
00:12:38,607 --> 00:12:40,512
Do you remember what
we did in seventh grade

320
00:12:40,537 --> 00:12:43,396
to Tiffany Fendersmith when we were
running for student council treasurer?

321
00:12:43,421 --> 00:12:46,535
- That was awful what we did.
- Yeah, but we had no choice.

322
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:48,410
She was gonna ruin our reputation.

323
00:12:48,412 --> 00:12:50,578
She saw us stuffing our bra
with maxi pads in the locker room

324
00:12:50,580 --> 00:12:51,646
and she was gonna tell everyone.

325
00:12:51,648 --> 00:12:54,576
I know, but still, what
we did was pretty bad.

326
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:58,242
We had to, okay? We had to spread the
rumor that she had a brain tumor

327
00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:01,168
that caused her to tell
pathological lies and it worked.

328
00:13:01,193 --> 00:13:02,613
We won the election

329
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,116
and everyone called her
Tiffany Tumorsmith for years.

330
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,717
It was pretty low.

331
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:10,054
- I spiraled with guilt for months.
- Yeah, I know. I was there.

332
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:11,474
But what choice do we have?

333
00:13:12,568 --> 00:13:15,466
Desperate times call
for desperate measures.

334
00:13:15,491 --> 00:13:18,623
So, we're gonna tell
people Josh has a tumor?

335
00:13:18,648 --> 00:13:20,114
No.

336
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,567
We're gonna tell people
that Josh is the tumor.

337
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,635
I'm not following me here.

338
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,512
We're gonna discredit Josh.

339
00:13:26,537 --> 00:13:29,507
So even if he tells people
what happened in the church,

340
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:32,176
it won't matter, 'cause
no one will believe him.

341
00:13:32,499 --> 00:13:34,600
Me, follow me.

342
00:13:36,784 --> 00:13:38,451
Hi, it's me.

343
00:13:38,476 --> 00:13:40,209
Are you sitting down?

344
00:13:40,592 --> 00:13:41,953
It's about Crichton.

345
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,856
Hey. I am so sorry about earlier.

346
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,157
You were totally right.

347
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:49,060
We need to stand proud
with our-our shoulders back,

348
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:51,095
and our head high, or
whatever it is you said.

349
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:54,279
I want to do the case and
the article with The Corset.

350
00:13:56,935 --> 00:13:59,670
You said the case stunk.

351
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,006
No. No. That was fear talking.

352
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:04,540
- Really?
- I was afraid.

353
00:14:04,841 --> 00:14:07,879
And, you know what, we need to get Josh

354
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:09,513
and we need to get him now.

355
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:14,585
So, should we take another look
at these case filings, though?

356
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,021
I mean, because, I mean, you have notes.

357
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,656
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
later, later, later.

358
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:19,857
Soon, soon, soon, soon, soon.

359
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,292
But, like, right now, I just,

360
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:25,496
I need you to call The Corset
and tell them it's go time.

361
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:30,083
I am ready to share
my truth... our truth.

362
00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:32,169
I'm ready to be heroes.

363
00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:33,571
Let's be heroes. Do
you want to be a hero?

364
00:14:34,721 --> 00:14:35,940
Okay.

365
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:43,547
Heather.

366
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,249
You're finally graduating.

367
00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:47,919
That's so great. You did it.

368
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:50,388
You've reached for the moon
and landed among the stars.

369
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,189
I guess so.

370
00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:54,058
You-you guess so?

371
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,661
Heather, this is it,
your moment to shine,

372
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:58,796
to tell the world that it's your time.

373
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:00,398
Oh, God.

374
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,899
Do I have to sing an inspirational

375
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,234
musical theater song right now?

376
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,435
I just can't.

377
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,404
? What does the future hold? ?

378
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,840
? What will tomorrow bring me? ?

379
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:13,844
? What story will be told? ?

380
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:16,714
? What song is gonna sing me? ?

381
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:17,815
Geez.

382
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,483
? This is my time to shine ?

383
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,152
? Step out of the line ?

384
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:24,255
? Throw open all the windows ?

385
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,723
? Might be an uphill climb ?

386
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,892
? But I just gotta find ?

387
00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:29,627
? What's at the end... ?

388
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,262
Please don't make me say this.

389
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,431
? Of this rainbow ?

390
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,867
? 'Cause the clock
just keeps on ticking ?

391
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,170
? It doesn't care that time goes by... ?

392
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,271
What?

393
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:43,474
? The clock knows its destiny ?

394
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,010
? So why don't I? ?

395
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:47,211
Ugh.

396
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,714
? 'Cause today is ?
? tomorrow's yesterday ?

397
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:53,584
? Can't let the future slip away ?

398
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:59,256
? Can't wait to meet whoever I will be ?

399
00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:02,193
? 'Cause I am the moment ?

400
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:05,208
? The moment is me... ?

401
00:16:06,818 --> 00:16:08,866
Ugh.

402
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:11,268
Oh, I guess it's time for a story.

403
00:16:11,356 --> 00:16:14,848
? There's an old woman in the park ?

404
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:18,175
? She looks so wise, so regal ?

405
00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:21,512
? Was she ever lost in the dark? ?

406
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:24,215
? Did she ever soar like an eagle? ?

407
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,517
It's just, like, so on the nose.

408
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:30,087
? Old woman, please ?
? tell me your tale ?

409
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:33,391
? Did you succeed or did you fail? ?

410
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:39,030
? Did you ever reach your destiny? ?

411
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:40,264
Wait.

412
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,066
? I am the woman... ?

413
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,501
Please don't say it.

414
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,403
? The woman is me... ?

415
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:46,704
Ugh.

416
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:49,740
? We are the moment ?

417
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:52,109
? The moment is ?

418
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:55,880
? Me... ?

419
00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:01,161
That was a living nightmare.

420
00:17:01,541 --> 00:17:02,942
You get me.

421
00:17:05,645 --> 00:17:07,258
Thank you so much for meeting us here.

422
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,793
We are massive fans of The Corset.

423
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,561
Oh, my God, such huge fans.

424
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,763
And we really think that
this story is gonna inspire

425
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,598
a whole new generation
of female attorneys

426
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,868
and-and show how the
law can work for women.

427
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,471
Yes, and by the way, we
would've met you at your office.

428
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,739
Oh, I don't have an office.

429
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:22,873
I can't afford it yet.

430
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,308
I'm working out of my mom's sun-room,

431
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:25,743
but today is her book club day.

432
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,611
They're doing four
Joyce Carol Oates books

433
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,380
and it's like, Joyce, enough.

434
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,515
- Like, we get it. Just stop.
- Mm-hmm.

435
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:35,352
Okay, so, tell me more about
this lawsuit against your ex

436
00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:36,821
and how he jilted you.

437
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:38,322
Well, you know, that's not the only

438
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:39,757
important part of the case.

439
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,593
Uh, 'twere it so simple
as that, but it 'twaint.

440
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:45,229
He jilted me, yes, but
the-the most important thing

441
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,398
people need to know is that he's a liar

442
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,900
and that anything that comes
out of his mouth is a lie

443
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,625
because he's a lying liar man.

444
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:54,305
Yes.

445
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:56,874
That's, um, that's
definitely part of it.

446
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:58,679
But, you know, I-I think of him more

447
00:17:58,704 --> 00:18:00,711
as someone who failed to
perform their fiduciary

448
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:02,780
and emotional obligations,
and is, therefore,

449
00:18:02,805 --> 00:18:04,682
- liable in a court of law.
- Mm-hmm.

450
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,750
Sure, sure, sure, sure,
sure. Yeah, b-b-b-but, but...

451
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,953
But circling back to the lies.

452
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,788
I mean, I-it's just so many lies.

453
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,756
Like, for instance, when
he comes back to town

454
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,558
and tells people crazy lies about me,

455
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:18,796
he is 100% lying because
he lies all the time.

456
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:21,332
Oh. Okay. Okay, what kind of lies?

457
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,800
Great question. I have an itemized list

458
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,368
of all the lies right here.

459
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,570
What is that? Is that exhibit "R"?

460
00:18:26,936 --> 00:18:29,874
No. It's exhibits "L" and
"D," for Lies and Deception.

461
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:33,177
That's not
how we code exhibits.

462
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:36,013
"Josh lied about believing in God
and he only joined the priesthood

463
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:38,983
- to steal donations from the church"?
- Yep.

464
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:42,052
Wow. That's not great.

465
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,288
But, uh, I mean, you know,

466
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,758
even if he did, it's-it's
not really germane to our...

467
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,460
Wait. This guy is truly awful.

468
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,861
"Josh told his friend Josh Wilson... "

469
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,530
White Josh. You're gonna
want to use his street name.

470
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:53,831
"... that he was okay with gay people,

471
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,066
- but he's not."
- No, he's not. He doesn't like

472
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,902
the "L"s, the "B"s,
the "G"s, or the "T"s.

473
00:18:57,904 --> 00:19:00,604
And he doesn't want any
of them to have restrooms.

474
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,973
- Hold on a second. What?
- D-Did you see the part

475
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,175
that he, uh, told his
Hispanic friend Hector

476
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:06,510
that he listens to his podcasts,

477
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:09,780
but he doesn't, specifically
because he's racist. Yeah.

478
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,550
He only listens to, like,
those white public radio shows.

479
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:13,888
- Oh.
- Yep.

480
00:19:13,913 --> 00:19:15,719
Public radio? Josh?

481
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:18,622
I mean, is there a different
public radio? One with pictures?

482
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:21,392
Carly, you can see that
this is a huge story

483
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:24,464
about a man who embodies
deception and lies,

484
00:19:24,489 --> 00:19:26,864
so we want to get it out
there as quick as possible.

485
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,132
Yeah. I'll get to work on it.

486
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:29,567
I'll probably be able
to run it this week.

487
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,468
Oh, a week. I mean, uh, that's just hard

488
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,137
because we actually have
a lot of other offers.

489
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,967
So if you want to be
the one to break this...

490
00:19:34,992 --> 00:19:36,907
And I want it to be you, I really do...

491
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,509
You got to kind of Joyce
Carol Oates this thing

492
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:39,977
and publish it ASAP.

493
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,179
You know, preferably before happy hour,

494
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,848
because that's when people
check their phones the most.

495
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,117
Okay. I'll-I'll get to
work. I'll see what I can do.

496
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,385
- Great.
- Great.

497
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:49,853
Thank you so much.

498
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,088
Thank you so much.

499
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,290
- So nice to meet you.
- So nice to meet you.

500
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:54,825
Fighting the good fight.

501
00:19:56,027 --> 00:19:57,828
Okay. I know you're
wondering why I never told you

502
00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,331
about all of Josh's
hideous lies, but I...

503
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,199
I just wanted you to like him. Okay?

504
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,901
We worked so hard to land
him, and I don't know.

505
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,102
I thought I could change him. I-I...

506
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:06,737
No. No, no, no. I get it. I get it.

507
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:08,606
I... I guess, but I,

508
00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:11,108
I mean, is that why you were afraid

509
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:13,344
to file the case and go public earlier?

510
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,479
Yes. Yes, that's why.

511
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:17,548
But it-it doesn't matter now
because we're doing the case,

512
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,116
and the article's coming out,

513
00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:20,718
and hopefully it'll be
out before happy hour.

514
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,219
I mean, soon, soon.

515
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,587
Yeah.

516
00:20:33,876 --> 00:20:37,143
_

517
00:20:37,168 --> 00:20:38,869
I just can't believe it.

518
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:41,138
Come on. Come on, come on, come on.

519
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,774
I just can't believe it.

520
00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:47,611
Okay, so that was your cue to say,

521
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:49,480
"What's wrong, Heath?"
And then I would say,

522
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:50,514
"It's actually Heather."

523
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:52,249
And then we would talk about my problem.

524
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,717
Okay, uh, fine. What's your problem?

525
00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:57,021
Okay, so my stupid college
is forcing me to graduate.

526
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:58,522
Oh, my gosh. Congrats. Mazel.

527
00:20:58,524 --> 00:21:00,024
No, it's no mazel.

528
00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:01,892
I don't want to graduate.

529
00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:03,394
I'm a student.

530
00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:05,329
I like saying, "I'm a student."

531
00:21:05,991 --> 00:21:07,765
Marine biology is my last class,

532
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,401
and I'm sad... I
wanted to take it again.

533
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:12,369
It would give me more
time with Estrella.

534
00:21:12,663 --> 00:21:14,104
I'm sorry, who?

535
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,040
Um, Estrella.

536
00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:18,142
Our third roommate. Are you kidding?

537
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:19,810
The starfish I've been taking care of

538
00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:20,978
for, like, three months.

539
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,680
Right there by the sink,

540
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:24,882
in the flawless synthetic
marine environment

541
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:26,016
I created for her.

542
00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,518
Okay, honestly, I
thought that was a sponge,

543
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,687
so, you know, it's a good
thing I don't do dishes, right?

544
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,755
- You're literally the worst.
- Okay, I'm sorry.

545
00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:34,325
Um, all right, you
don't want to graduate.

546
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:37,394
So, you know, just fail the class,
and you can stay.

547
00:21:38,095 --> 00:21:40,597
How do I fail? I'm doing so well.

548
00:21:40,599 --> 00:21:42,009
Kill the sponge. Duh.

549
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,524
What?

550
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:46,070
Murder my starfish?

551
00:21:46,072 --> 00:21:48,205
I mean, she doesn't have

552
00:21:48,207 --> 00:21:50,274
a central nervous system,
so it wouldn't hurt,

553
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:53,610
but she does have five
eyes that look into my soul.

554
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:55,813
Oh, my God! Oh, my
God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

555
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,214
Come here, come here,
come here, come here.

556
00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:59,116
Look at this, look at this,
look at this, look at this.

557
00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:01,752
- It's up, it's up, it's up... oh!
- _

558
00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:05,022
It's even better than I imagined.

559
00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:08,192
"Don't date this toxic man:
stand up to the patriarchy,

560
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:10,661
one Josh at a time."

561
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,863
Whoa, Josh is an anti-vaxxer?

562
00:22:12,865 --> 00:22:14,798
I had no idea.

563
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,134
Can you forward this post
to everyone you've ever met

564
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:18,902
in your entire life?

565
00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:20,637
Yeah.

566
00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:23,340
Now, I knew Josh was a jerk
because he ditched Rebecca,

567
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,903
but he's also a homophobic
Holocaust denier?

568
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:28,078
- Did you know about this?
- Some of it, not all of it.

569
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,713
Hello, everyone.

570
00:22:29,715 --> 00:22:32,249
Oh, are you all reading
it? Yeah. You forwarding it?

571
00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:34,184
Are you gramming it, screenshotting it,

572
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:35,919
tweetin' it, sendin' it
to friends, group text,

573
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:36,987
all that jazz, yeah?

574
00:22:36,989 --> 00:22:39,022
- You doing that?
- I can't believe all this.

575
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:40,858
Josh is so dishonest.

576
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,627
I mean, nobody's gonna believe
anything he says ever again.

577
00:22:43,629 --> 00:22:46,263
Oh, my God, really? You think so?
'Cause that'd be great.

578
00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:47,931
I mean, that'd be great
because he's... he's a liar,

579
00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:50,434
and it's been really hard
and horrible, but, um,

580
00:22:50,436 --> 00:22:52,236
but-but keep forwarding, okay? Yeah.

581
00:22:53,612 --> 00:22:54,979
Poor kid.

582
00:22:58,444 --> 00:23:00,677
- Hi.
- Hi, hi.

583
00:23:00,679 --> 00:23:02,913
Uh, I'm actually, I'm
kind of busy right now.

584
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:04,681
You're gonna have dinner
with me, tonight, 8:00 p.m.

585
00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:06,417
My place. Be there.

586
00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:08,152
Uh, wow, I-I just, I...

587
00:23:08,154 --> 00:23:10,053
I'm not gonna take no for an answer.

588
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:12,022
This guy has dirt on us, remember?

589
00:23:12,024 --> 00:23:13,657
He almost killed someone for us.

590
00:23:13,659 --> 00:23:15,192
You have to appease him.

591
00:23:15,194 --> 00:23:18,028
Also, he's fly. You're
turning that down?

592
00:23:18,030 --> 00:23:19,830
Say yes, dumb idiot.

593
00:23:19,832 --> 00:23:21,999
Okay, actually, fine.

594
00:23:22,001 --> 00:23:24,301
See you then, 8:00 p.m.

595
00:23:28,873 --> 00:23:30,574
What?

596
00:23:36,649 --> 00:23:39,546
Ah, the smells of a man's boyhood.

597
00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:43,195
I am that man. And that boy.

598
00:23:43,789 --> 00:23:45,556
And I have a hood.

599
00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:48,258
God, I love it when sentences work out.

600
00:23:51,505 --> 00:23:55,866
You're all here! What
up, y'all? Ooh-ooh!

601
00:23:55,868 --> 00:23:57,734
Ha-ha, my bros!

602
00:23:57,736 --> 00:24:00,103
White Josh and Hector and Chris.

603
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:01,505
Kev, baby.

604
00:24:03,341 --> 00:24:05,509
You all look a little cranky.

605
00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:06,643
You hungry?

606
00:24:06,645 --> 00:24:08,779
Kevin, where are those Bacon Boppers?

607
00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:10,457
Up your butt.

608
00:24:17,419 --> 00:24:19,254
What's wrong?

609
00:24:19,427 --> 00:24:21,809
Are you mad because
I left the priesthood?

610
00:24:22,278 --> 00:24:24,345
Um, you guys told me to come home.

611
00:24:24,347 --> 00:24:26,965
No, we're mad because
you're a lying liar lie-man!

612
00:24:27,005 --> 00:24:28,171
Okay, okay.

613
00:24:28,173 --> 00:24:29,672
Calm down, bud. It's all good.

614
00:24:29,674 --> 00:24:31,974
Josh, we just read a
crazy article about you.

615
00:24:31,976 --> 00:24:33,042
What is going on, dude?

616
00:24:33,044 --> 00:24:35,734
What article? What
are you talking about?

617
00:24:35,759 --> 00:24:37,103
Well, read this.

618
00:24:45,856 --> 00:24:48,558
It's gonna... it's gonna be a while.

619
00:24:50,060 --> 00:24:52,061
Okay, well, wait. Th-This is all wrong.

620
00:24:52,063 --> 00:24:53,529
This is not about me.

621
00:24:53,531 --> 00:24:55,898
This article must be
about the other Josh Chan,

622
00:24:55,900 --> 00:24:58,543
the one from Azusa, uh, uh,
but they used my picture.

623
00:24:58,837 --> 00:25:02,138
Uh-huh. So you're saying
that there's another Josh Chan

624
00:25:02,140 --> 00:25:03,773
that also dated Rebecca

625
00:25:03,775 --> 00:25:05,775
and also tried to join the priesthood?

626
00:25:05,777 --> 00:25:07,710
Maybe? Guys, you know me.

627
00:25:07,712 --> 00:25:10,279
I-I would never do or say these things.

628
00:25:10,281 --> 00:25:13,616
I don't know, Josh. It's on the
Internet. It's probably true.

629
00:25:13,618 --> 00:25:14,784
I mean, some of it's true.

630
00:25:14,786 --> 00:25:17,497
Like, sometimes you call me "amigo,"

631
00:25:17,522 --> 00:25:19,055
and you know I don't like it.

632
00:25:19,057 --> 00:25:21,190
Yeah, and you know what?
Now that we're talking about this...

633
00:25:21,192 --> 00:25:23,993
In fifth grade, you used
to call me "Fancy Pants."

634
00:25:23,995 --> 00:25:26,696
They were fancy pants. So many pockets.

635
00:25:26,698 --> 00:25:27,997
Gay pockets?

636
00:25:27,999 --> 00:25:29,899
You always let me win in pinball?

637
00:25:29,901 --> 00:25:31,100
How is that not a lie?

638
00:25:31,316 --> 00:25:32,835
Oh, my God, I think it's working.

639
00:25:32,837 --> 00:25:34,403
Guys, guys, come on.

640
00:25:34,405 --> 00:25:36,539
Don't you see who is
behind this? It's obvious.

641
00:25:36,541 --> 00:25:38,433
I mean, look who's
quoted in this article.

642
00:25:38,776 --> 00:25:41,177
- Joyce Carol Oates?
- Rebecca!

643
00:25:41,753 --> 00:25:44,614
Those things in the
article all come from her,

644
00:25:44,616 --> 00:25:46,716
and she's completely out of her mind.

645
00:25:46,718 --> 00:25:47,950
Out of her mind?

646
00:25:47,952 --> 00:25:50,152
Okay, dude, I mean, she's
a little peculiar, but...

647
00:25:50,154 --> 00:25:52,788
No. No, no, no, no, no. I'm-I'm
telling you, I know the truth.

648
00:25:52,790 --> 00:25:55,825
Yesterday she came up to
seminary in her wedding dress.

649
00:25:55,827 --> 00:25:59,228
She told me the craziest
stuff I've ever heard.

650
00:25:59,297 --> 00:26:01,797
She admitted she moved
here just to stalk me.

651
00:26:01,799 --> 00:26:04,567
She's been spying on me since
the second she got into town.

652
00:26:04,569 --> 00:26:05,902
She secretly

653
00:26:05,904 --> 00:26:07,970
watched me have sex on
two separate occasions.

654
00:26:07,972 --> 00:26:09,984
She put a GPS on my car.

655
00:26:10,009 --> 00:26:13,142
She wore a secret camera to Thanksgiving

656
00:26:13,144 --> 00:26:14,777
to spy on my family, she paid

657
00:26:14,779 --> 00:26:16,846
thousands of dollars
to move up our wedding,

658
00:26:16,848 --> 00:26:19,882
- and tried to murder Gravy.
- Say what now?

659
00:26:19,884 --> 00:26:21,951
Anna's pretty Persian
kitty. Keep up, Hector.

660
00:26:21,953 --> 00:26:23,686
I'm telling you, Rebecca's crazy,

661
00:26:23,688 --> 00:26:26,556
and basically, a-a criminal
mastermind, too.

662
00:26:26,558 --> 00:26:28,524
I-I bet you all have
cameras all over you.

663
00:26:32,983 --> 00:26:34,764
Oh, my God. Do you hear yourself, dude?

664
00:26:34,789 --> 00:26:36,139
This doesn't make any sense.

665
00:26:36,164 --> 00:26:38,778
Yeah, she's a smart lawyer,
and you want us to believe that

666
00:26:38,803 --> 00:26:41,241
she just blabbed all this
incriminating stuff to you?

667
00:26:41,606 --> 00:26:43,773
- I don't know, amigo.
- Face it, dude.

668
00:26:43,775 --> 00:26:46,742
The only person who sounds
crazy right now is you.

669
00:26:48,694 --> 00:26:54,304
So, please leave, Joshua, so that
we can have a happy... hour.

670
00:26:59,423 --> 00:27:01,390
Thank you.

671
00:27:01,392 --> 00:27:03,593
Here you go, Chris.

672
00:27:04,528 --> 00:27:06,495
- Oh, boy.
- It's working!

673
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:08,931
Yeah.

674
00:27:09,424 --> 00:27:11,000
Wow, it really is.

675
00:27:11,456 --> 00:27:12,955
We're ruining him!

676
00:27:12,957 --> 00:27:14,331
It's great.

677
00:27:14,924 --> 00:27:16,237
Yeah.

678
00:27:17,887 --> 00:27:19,135
Guess we won.

679
00:27:25,940 --> 00:27:27,573
- Hey.
- What?

680
00:27:27,598 --> 00:27:28,995
You okay?

681
00:27:29,956 --> 00:27:32,377
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, of course. Of course.

682
00:27:32,402 --> 00:27:34,892
- Justice is being served.
- Yes, it is.

683
00:27:35,573 --> 00:27:37,791
Paula, um...

684
00:27:38,750 --> 00:27:40,487
I just want to thank
you for supporting me,

685
00:27:41,031 --> 00:27:42,997
you know, through all this.

686
00:27:43,054 --> 00:27:44,557
You're a great friend. Thank you.

687
00:27:44,582 --> 00:27:47,073
Well, honey, of course I support you.

688
00:27:47,098 --> 00:27:49,145
I'm Team Rebecca, always.

689
00:27:49,685 --> 00:27:52,627
And we are doing a good thing

690
00:27:52,652 --> 00:27:54,979
with this case, I promise you.

691
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,281
- You're a role model.
- No, don't say that.

692
00:27:58,306 --> 00:27:59,606
But you are.

693
00:27:59,631 --> 00:28:04,276
You are like a Madonna,
Malala, Moana salad.

694
00:28:07,078 --> 00:28:09,916
- You really think I'm a role model?
- Yes, absolutely.

695
00:28:10,462 --> 00:28:11,995
Hmm.

696
00:28:23,197 --> 00:28:25,737
_

697
00:28:25,762 --> 00:28:29,499
I am not the crazy one.

698
00:28:45,910 --> 00:28:48,044
Well, it's 8:30.

699
00:28:48,046 --> 00:28:49,799
She's probably just a
little late, that's all.

700
00:28:49,824 --> 00:28:51,390
I don't know, man.

701
00:28:51,729 --> 00:28:55,385
- I'm sorry. I don't think she's coming.
- You're probably right.

702
00:28:55,387 --> 00:28:57,190
Damn it, George.

703
00:28:57,276 --> 00:28:59,310
You were supposed to
protect me from rejection,

704
00:28:59,312 --> 00:29:01,312
and all I got was more rejection.

705
00:29:01,870 --> 00:29:03,914
Also, where do you get
off calling me "man"?

706
00:29:03,916 --> 00:29:05,316
Of course. I'm sorry... sir.

707
00:29:05,318 --> 00:29:07,151
I failed you.

708
00:29:07,153 --> 00:29:08,285
How can I help now?

709
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,521
Should we grab a beer
and talk? Hash it out?

710
00:29:10,523 --> 00:29:12,156
Really work through
some of those feelings?

711
00:29:12,158 --> 00:29:14,425
George, I hate and
reject philosophically

712
00:29:14,427 --> 00:29:16,694
all the things that you just listed.

713
00:29:17,362 --> 00:29:18,386
No.

714
00:29:18,808 --> 00:29:20,264
When I'm in this kind of mood,

715
00:29:21,871 --> 00:29:23,911
I know what I need to do.

716
00:29:23,936 --> 00:29:27,537
?

717
00:29:27,673 --> 00:29:29,350
? Uh ?

718
00:29:30,443 --> 00:29:33,878
? Feelin' low, ?
? I

719
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:37,648
? By myself, I pour another drink ?

720
00:29:37,650 --> 00:29:40,951
? So many thoughts keep runnin' ?
? through my head ?

721
00:29:40,953 --> 00:29:44,188
? I can't stay here, ?
? I hit da club instead ?

722
00:29:44,190 --> 00:29:46,757
? I'm poppin' bottles ?
? just to clear my mind ?

723
00:29:46,759 --> 00:29:48,259
? Clear my mind ?

724
00:29:48,261 --> 00:29:50,628
? Bitches up on me ?
? and they lookin' fine ?

725
00:29:51,709 --> 00:29:53,809
? We doin' lines, ?
?

726
00:29:53,811 --> 00:29:55,615
? Go all night, go all night ?

727
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:58,083
? But deep inside there's ?
? something still ain't right ?

728
00:29:58,108 --> 00:29:59,307
? So then... ?

729
00:29:59,601 --> 00:30:02,168
- ? I go to the zoo ?
- ? Zoo, zoo... ?

730
00:30:02,389 --> 00:30:05,498
? Just kind of wander 'round the zoo ?

731
00:30:06,533 --> 00:30:09,201
? I look at the monkeys ?

732
00:30:10,304 --> 00:30:12,740
? Their eyes look like my eyes

733
00:30:12,924 --> 00:30:15,974
? It's so relaxing at the zoo ?

734
00:30:16,521 --> 00:30:19,630
? Sayin' what's up to kangaroos ?

735
00:30:20,091 --> 00:30:23,025
? My boys awake
'cause they nocturnal ?

736
00:30:23,027 --> 00:30:26,829
- ? I really, really like the zoo ?
- ? Zoo, zoo, zoo ?

737
00:30:26,831 --> 00:30:30,132
? Next night, I got this
bitch up in my 'rari ?

738
00:30:30,888 --> 00:30:34,336
? We drinking Cris,
we eatin' calamari ?

739
00:30:34,338 --> 00:30:37,439
? She tryin' to give me ?
? neck, this life insane ?

740
00:30:37,441 --> 00:30:40,509
? But there's only one
thing that can ease my pain ?

741
00:30:40,511 --> 00:30:42,660
? I tell her get the hell out

742
00:30:42,701 --> 00:30:46,649
- ? Then I go to the zoo in San Diego ?
- ? San Diego ?

743
00:30:46,651 --> 00:30:49,904
? It's really such a better zoo ?

744
00:30:50,254 --> 00:30:53,630
? My favorite's
probably the cheetahs ?

745
00:30:53,875 --> 00:30:56,910
? But I ain't messin' with no zebra ?

746
00:30:56,935 --> 00:30:59,061
? I know the night ?
? guard at the zoo ?

747
00:30:59,063 --> 00:31:00,763
? Zoo, zoo, zoo ?

748
00:31:00,765 --> 00:31:04,013
? His name is Ron, my man's legit ?

749
00:31:04,569 --> 00:31:07,102
? He knows that I ?
? love Panda Canyon ?

750
00:31:07,104 --> 00:31:09,905
? Sometimes he lets me ?
? bottle-feed the cub ?

751
00:31:09,907 --> 00:31:11,240
? Cub, cub, cub ?

752
00:31:11,242 --> 00:31:13,943
? Man, when's it gonna stop? ?

753
00:31:13,945 --> 00:31:15,477
? When's it gonna end? ?

754
00:31:15,479 --> 00:31:18,747
? Sometimes, even ?
? the zoo isn't enough ?

755
00:31:18,749 --> 00:31:20,883
? So then

756
00:31:20,885 --> 00:31:24,753
? I go to the aquarium ?

757
00:31:24,755 --> 00:31:27,623
? It's like a zoo for fishies ?

758
00:31:27,625 --> 00:31:30,492
? I know the night
guard there, too ?

759
00:31:30,494 --> 00:31:34,096
? Wait, what the hell ?
? happened to Susan? ?

760
00:31:34,098 --> 00:31:37,633
? He kicks me out, ?
? here's what I do ?

761
00:31:38,094 --> 00:31:40,402
? I take my ass back to the zoo ?

762
00:31:40,404 --> 00:31:42,871
? Zoo, zoo, zoo, zoo. ?

763
00:31:47,758 --> 00:31:50,687
This guy Trent gave that
to me the day of the wedding.

764
00:31:50,948 --> 00:31:52,915
Eh, Trent is Rebecca's ex-boyfriend.

765
00:31:52,917 --> 00:31:54,116
Weird guy.

766
00:31:54,501 --> 00:31:56,285
Always wears turtlenecks.

767
00:31:56,287 --> 00:31:58,153
Anyway, he gave this to me.

768
00:31:58,297 --> 00:31:59,755
And you never opened it?

769
00:31:59,757 --> 00:32:01,000
I was afraid to.

770
00:32:01,531 --> 00:32:03,425
I-I knew it probably said
bad stuff about Rebecca,

771
00:32:03,427 --> 00:32:05,260
and I didn't want to know what it was,

772
00:32:05,262 --> 00:32:08,597
and I knew I had too
many doubts to marry her,

773
00:32:08,599 --> 00:32:09,865
no matter what her past was.

774
00:32:09,867 --> 00:32:12,501
So when I got to the
seminary, I just threw it out.

775
00:32:12,875 --> 00:32:14,436
Then, like,

776
00:32:14,438 --> 00:32:17,039
in the middle of the night, I
woke up, ran out to the trash,

777
00:32:17,041 --> 00:32:19,133
grabbed it and put it in my duffle bag.

778
00:32:19,695 --> 00:32:22,144
My Spidey-sense told
me I might need it.

779
00:32:22,297 --> 00:32:23,412
And now, I think I do.

780
00:32:23,414 --> 00:32:25,614
Because she is coming after me, man.

781
00:32:25,616 --> 00:32:26,982
She's trying to ruin my life.

782
00:32:26,984 --> 00:32:28,784
So now, I need to know what's in there.

783
00:32:29,078 --> 00:32:31,086
Then you need to open it, Josh.

784
00:32:31,088 --> 00:32:33,055
You're an adult now, dude.

785
00:32:33,057 --> 00:32:35,090
These are your choices to make.

786
00:32:35,092 --> 00:32:38,460
But what if there's anthrax,
or... a dead body in there?

787
00:32:38,462 --> 00:32:40,663
Uh, you think there's a dead
body inside that envelope?

788
00:32:40,665 --> 00:32:43,666
I don't know, like, ashes or
something with spirits in it?

789
00:32:43,781 --> 00:32:45,868
Okay. You know what?
Let's... let's do it.

790
00:32:45,870 --> 00:32:47,803
Let's just open the envelope. Okay?

791
00:32:48,313 --> 00:32:50,480
Thanks.

792
00:33:09,606 --> 00:33:11,472
Morning.

793
00:33:13,644 --> 00:33:15,676
So, I didn't do it.

794
00:33:15,678 --> 00:33:17,145
I didn't kill Estrella.

795
00:33:17,147 --> 00:33:20,214
I was up all night looking
into each and every eye,

796
00:33:20,216 --> 00:33:21,582
and I just, like, couldn't...

797
00:33:21,584 --> 00:33:24,352
Hey, guess what, you know this
whole, like, role model thing?

798
00:33:24,354 --> 00:33:25,620
I could get used to it.

799
00:33:25,622 --> 00:33:28,389
Like, I just woke up to an
e-mail from... wait for it...

800
00:33:28,391 --> 00:33:31,092
Sally Jessy Raphael's people.

801
00:33:31,094 --> 00:33:32,727
Okay, so she's coming back.

802
00:33:32,729 --> 00:33:34,595
She's starting a new show.

803
00:33:34,597 --> 00:33:36,597
It's Web-based, it's streaming,
it's a podcast, I don't know,

804
00:33:36,599 --> 00:33:37,899
but I'm very excited.

805
00:33:38,421 --> 00:33:41,622
Right, so I guess I'm
gonna have to graduate.

806
00:33:41,647 --> 00:33:43,004
And, if I'm gonna be the face

807
00:33:43,006 --> 00:33:44,572
of a groundbreaking lawsuit,

808
00:33:44,574 --> 00:33:47,364
I mean, I'm gonna need some
new feminist nail art, right?

809
00:33:47,389 --> 00:33:49,210
Hey, do you want to come
with me later to get some?

810
00:33:49,212 --> 00:33:52,046
- Sure. Well, thanks for listening.
- Oh, my God. Any time, babe.

811
00:33:52,048 --> 00:33:53,952
Okay.

812
00:33:55,515 --> 00:33:57,081
Okay, so I'm thinking the word "woman"

813
00:33:57,083 --> 00:33:58,952
could be spelled out on my
fingers, but with, like, a "Y,"

814
00:33:58,977 --> 00:34:00,311
or maybe just, like,
a bunch of unicorns.

815
00:34:00,336 --> 00:34:01,506
I don't know. I'll text you.

816
00:34:05,382 --> 00:34:06,515
All right, girl.

817
00:34:06,782 --> 00:34:09,303
Guess we're gonna have
to cap and gown it.

818
00:34:09,793 --> 00:34:12,350
The moment is me.

819
00:34:13,441 --> 00:34:14,974
Ugh.

820
00:34:16,710 --> 00:34:18,260
Sir, I've been thinking about it,

821
00:34:18,262 --> 00:34:20,529
and yes, we had a setback.

822
00:34:20,531 --> 00:34:22,898
But I think there's still time
to change this power dynamic.

823
00:34:22,900 --> 00:34:25,346
All right? I re-read The
Art of War last night...

824
00:34:25,371 --> 00:34:26,744
George, we're way past all that.

825
00:34:27,504 --> 00:34:30,494
You don't understand;
the zoo didn't work.

826
00:34:30,822 --> 00:34:32,155
The zoo.

827
00:34:32,658 --> 00:34:34,109
I feel the same way today

828
00:34:34,111 --> 00:34:35,377
as I did yesterday.

829
00:34:35,379 --> 00:34:37,179
It's awful. My stomach hurts.

830
00:34:37,181 --> 00:34:38,647
I can't eat anything.

831
00:34:38,649 --> 00:34:41,149
I'm doodling pictures of
Rebecca on every legal brief.

832
00:34:41,151 --> 00:34:43,585
- I'm smiling at babies.
- Oh...

833
00:34:43,587 --> 00:34:45,490
- Babies are disgusting.
- Mm-hmm.

834
00:34:45,515 --> 00:34:47,022
This is more than sex and power.

835
00:34:47,024 --> 00:34:48,223
This is something else.

836
00:34:48,225 --> 00:34:49,591
Oh, no.

837
00:34:51,061 --> 00:34:53,185
Oh, my God, I think I like her.

838
00:34:53,210 --> 00:34:55,364
Hi. Did you hear about
Sally Jessy Raphael?

839
00:34:55,366 --> 00:34:57,632
It's okay, I'll tell you
later. It's fine. Yeah.

840
00:34:59,334 --> 00:35:01,169
Hey, Darryl, have you seen Paula?

841
00:35:01,171 --> 00:35:02,904
Yeah, she was here earlier,
working on that case

842
00:35:02,906 --> 00:35:04,072
that you guys have been doing,

843
00:35:04,074 --> 00:35:05,540
that doesn't make any
money for the firm,

844
00:35:05,542 --> 00:35:06,808
but I don't say anything about.

845
00:35:06,810 --> 00:35:08,944
And then, suddenly, she
checked her messages,

846
00:35:08,946 --> 00:35:10,112
and ran out the door.

847
00:35:10,454 --> 00:35:13,046
- Messages?
- Yep. By the way,

848
00:35:13,071 --> 00:35:14,783
the reason I was confused earlier

849
00:35:14,785 --> 00:35:16,451
is that some of Michael Crichton's books

850
00:35:16,453 --> 00:35:18,019
came out after he died.

851
00:35:18,161 --> 00:35:20,344
They were published posthumously.

852
00:35:20,688 --> 00:35:22,221
After he was a human.

853
00:35:28,030 --> 00:35:29,564
What do I do?

854
00:35:29,566 --> 00:35:30,665
What do I do, George?

855
00:35:30,667 --> 00:35:32,067
I think there's only
one thing you can do.

856
00:35:32,069 --> 00:35:33,602
I think you have to
tell her your feelings.

857
00:35:33,604 --> 00:35:35,442
I told you I hate that kind of thing.

858
00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:38,000
I know, I know, I know,
but I think you have to,

859
00:35:38,308 --> 00:35:40,275
or you might regret it.

860
00:35:46,450 --> 00:35:47,816
Paula Proctor.

861
00:35:47,818 --> 00:35:49,551
You have one saved message.

862
00:35:49,553 --> 00:35:51,586
Hey, Paula. It's me, Father Brah.

863
00:35:51,588 --> 00:35:53,522
We have an emergency.

864
00:35:53,524 --> 00:35:55,056
It's about Rebecca.

865
00:35:55,058 --> 00:35:56,591
Can you come down to the office?

866
00:35:56,593 --> 00:35:58,360
Oh, uh, and for now, it's probably best

867
00:35:58,362 --> 00:36:00,662
if you don't talk about this with her.

868
00:36:04,536 --> 00:36:06,102
Uh, uh, Rebecca, wait.

869
00:36:07,069 --> 00:36:09,337
Go.

870
00:36:10,273 --> 00:36:12,875
So, you said it was
a Rebecca emergency... ?

871
00:36:14,378 --> 00:36:16,011
What is Josh doing here?

872
00:36:16,013 --> 00:36:18,280
Paula, Robert is not a dog.

873
00:36:18,485 --> 00:36:21,216
I drove through traffic
for "Robert is not a dog"?

874
00:36:21,218 --> 00:36:22,884
Paula, why don't you have a seat?

875
00:36:22,886 --> 00:36:24,252
Yeah.

876
00:36:24,254 --> 00:36:25,962
Why don't I just have a seat?

877
00:36:27,751 --> 00:36:30,192
Paula, Robert was Rebecca's professor,

878
00:36:30,194 --> 00:36:31,602
and, uh...

879
00:36:31,627 --> 00:36:34,142
there were some things
that happened between them.

880
00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:37,160
This is a restraining order

881
00:36:37,649 --> 00:36:39,301
that he was granted after Rebecca

882
00:36:39,303 --> 00:36:42,037
tried to burn down his apartment.

883
00:36:43,539 --> 00:36:48,210
This is a sealed criminal indictment
for the attempted arson.

884
00:36:50,488 --> 00:36:51,755
Now, instead of prison,

885
00:36:51,780 --> 00:36:54,541
she was sentenced to
a psychiatric hospital.

886
00:36:56,919 --> 00:36:58,534
These are the intake papers.

887
00:37:02,024 --> 00:37:03,955
Now, according to Josh,

888
00:37:03,980 --> 00:37:07,840
she hasn't told anyone in
West Covina about her past,

889
00:37:07,865 --> 00:37:10,651
- and I know that I am using a calm tone
- _

890
00:37:11,068 --> 00:37:13,368
right now, but, um...

891
00:37:14,159 --> 00:37:15,596
I am, I'm freaking out.

892
00:37:16,034 --> 00:37:19,183
Oh, my God. I mean, I... I had no idea.

893
00:37:19,208 --> 00:37:22,444
No, I-I know. Um, it's
shocking for all of us.

894
00:37:24,076 --> 00:37:26,114
It's like we never really knew her.

895
00:37:26,413 --> 00:37:28,443
Yeah, you're screwed.

896
00:37:37,342 --> 00:37:38,975
Okay, maybe-maybe
I, maybe I can talk to them.

897
00:37:38,977 --> 00:37:41,176
- Maybe I can explain.
- Are you crazy?

898
00:37:41,201 --> 00:37:43,349
We got to run. We got to start over.

899
00:37:43,374 --> 00:37:45,680
What? Don't pack a pantsuit.
We don't need pantsuits!

900
00:37:45,705 --> 00:37:47,177
Why are you panicking?

901
00:37:47,202 --> 00:37:49,774
They're my friends, they love
me, they'll-they'll understand.

902
00:37:49,799 --> 00:37:52,185
- They'll forgive me.
- Like Robert forgave you?

903
00:37:52,210 --> 00:37:53,709
Like Josh forgave you?

904
00:37:53,734 --> 00:37:55,200
Babe, trust me, you're going

905
00:37:55,225 --> 00:37:57,826
straight back to that loony
bin unless we get out of here.

906
00:37:57,851 --> 00:37:59,998
These people are not your friends.

907
00:38:00,038 --> 00:38:02,724
You've never had friends
before, so why would you now?

908
00:38:02,749 --> 00:38:03,948
No, you're right.

909
00:38:03,973 --> 00:38:06,468
They're not my friends.
I mean, why would they be?

910
00:38:06,493 --> 00:38:08,802
Who would like me? I'm gross,
I-I'm stupid and I'm a dum-dum.

911
00:38:08,827 --> 00:38:11,037
Now pack a damn pantsuit
'cause you never know.

912
00:38:11,062 --> 00:38:12,194
Okay, good point.

913
00:38:12,363 --> 00:38:13,396
All right, well,

914
00:38:13,867 --> 00:38:15,767
your anxiety has ruined your life,

915
00:38:15,769 --> 00:38:17,268
so I guess I'm done.

916
00:38:17,270 --> 00:38:18,469
I'm out of here.

917
00:38:18,471 --> 00:38:20,319
What? No. Don't-don't leave me.

918
00:38:20,344 --> 00:38:22,427
Please, I can't be alone.
I can't be alone. Please.

919
00:38:22,452 --> 00:38:23,851
I can't be alone with my thoughts!

920
00:38:24,083 --> 00:38:26,811
Oh, you came back.

921
00:38:28,111 --> 00:38:30,538
Nathaniel? What are you doing here?

922
00:38:31,651 --> 00:38:34,163
I'm here to tell you that
there are feelings inside of me

923
00:38:34,188 --> 00:38:35,257
that are pertinent to you.

924
00:38:35,282 --> 00:38:37,030
- Huh?
- I've tried to deny

925
00:38:37,055 --> 00:38:40,514
my very embarrassing
and... human emotions,

926
00:38:40,539 --> 00:38:42,606
but I can't, okay? So here they are.

927
00:38:46,340 --> 00:38:47,573
I feel things for you.

928
00:38:47,974 --> 00:38:50,941
Oh... God... oh.
Oh, that's what this is.

929
00:38:51,037 --> 00:38:54,105
Listen. Okay, listen. Buddy, I've
been in your position before,

930
00:38:54,107 --> 00:38:56,421
but now is not the time.
I-I got a whole thing going on, and...

931
00:38:56,446 --> 00:38:58,030
I-I got to get the hell out of town...

932
00:38:58,055 --> 00:39:00,412
Okay, great.
That's perfect. Let's get out of town.

933
00:39:00,437 --> 00:39:01,937
I'll call my jet, tell them to fuel up,

934
00:39:01,962 --> 00:39:03,460
- and we'll go, we'll go away together.
- No.

935
00:39:03,485 --> 00:39:06,119
Go away together, no... right.

936
00:39:06,413 --> 00:39:07,813
Oh, right. You have a jet.

937
00:39:07,835 --> 00:39:10,135
Yeah, and I'll take you
wherever you want to go.

938
00:39:10,137 --> 00:39:12,646
Rome, Paris? God, I
don't even know who I am.

939
00:39:12,671 --> 00:39:14,147
I've never done anything
like this before.

940
00:39:14,172 --> 00:39:15,718
This is... crazy.

941
00:39:15,743 --> 00:39:17,976
What? No, don't, don't.
Don't, don't. Stop it. Stop...

942
00:39:18,001 --> 00:39:20,202
Oh. Oh, wow. This is nice.

943
00:39:20,541 --> 00:39:22,107
Oh, I'm really tired.

944
00:39:22,109 --> 00:39:24,609
Ah. And you know what?
Rome sounds a lot better

945
00:39:24,611 --> 00:39:26,718
than I was gonna do, which was
just drive until my gas ran out.

946
00:39:26,743 --> 00:39:28,576
So you know what? Let's do it.

947
00:39:28,601 --> 00:39:29,663
- Can you grab my bag?
- Yeah.

948
00:39:29,688 --> 00:39:31,388
Thanks.

949
00:39:31,436 --> 00:39:32,969
Thank you for saving me.

950
00:39:33,487 --> 00:39:35,257
You're like my knight in
shining armor right now.

951
00:39:35,282 --> 00:39:37,132
Well, when you find someone

952
00:39:37,157 --> 00:39:39,671
who melts the iceberg
that is your heart,

953
00:39:39,863 --> 00:39:41,303
you save 'em right back because

954
00:39:41,328 --> 00:39:42,661
you want tomorrow to
start today forever.

955
00:39:42,663 --> 00:39:43,632
Okay, buddy, let's go.

956
00:39:43,657 --> 00:39:44,923
Yeah, all right.

957
00:39:45,835 --> 00:39:48,405
Rebecca, wait. Paula called.
You cannot leave.

958
00:39:48,430 --> 00:39:50,139
Uh, just, uh, run. Just go
around her. It's fine.

959
00:39:50,164 --> 00:39:51,903
- What?
- Just go around her. Just... Oh...

960
00:39:51,905 --> 00:39:53,238
- No, I'm serious. Stop.
- Giddy-up! Giddy-up, horsey.

961
00:39:53,240 --> 00:39:54,858
- Okay, well, uh, she's in my way now.
- You cannot go.

962
00:39:54,883 --> 00:39:56,350
Rebecca, wait.

963
00:39:56,407 --> 00:39:57,719
We need to talk about this.

964
00:39:57,799 --> 00:40:02,632
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