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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~

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And, of course, the thing my husband
Melter was best at melting:

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00:00:24,779 --> 00:00:26,484
the hearts of everyone who...

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Excuse me.

5
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- Oh.
- One second. Move!

6
00:00:28,708 --> 00:00:30,819
Hey, is this
the Melter funeral?

7
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,660
Newly made best friend comin' through!

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00:00:32,661 --> 00:00:34,577
Sorry, I'm... I'm late. Crazy morning.

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Had to pick up the kids.
Traffic. Oh, you know the deal.

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Is this the section for the family?

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Good. I want to sit in front of them.

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Next time save me a seat,
you chodes!

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It's okay, they're my friends!

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As I was saying,

15
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The Melter was so loving and...

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Oh, God.

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00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:52,640
Sorry! My brain's part computer.

18
00:00:52,641 --> 00:00:54,426
That happens
whenever I get a Venmo.

19
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:58,599
I am not looking at your dead husband
and thinking, "Jackpot!" Continue.

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Umm. A loving and thoughtful person...

21
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:05,569
Jackpot! Sorry, I just sold
a sofa on Craigslist.

22
00:01:05,570 --> 00:01:08,146
This is huge for me. Please continue.

23
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:11,654
Melissa, stop looking at your phone.
You're embarrassing me!

24
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,655
Why couldn't you just
take us straight to school?

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00:01:13,679 --> 00:01:15,735
I'm havin' a great time, Dad.

26
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,330
I can't wait for your funeral.

27
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There's a good attitude.

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My husband had big dreams,

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and though they never came true,

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he never defeated his arch-nemesis,

31
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he never melted the Eiffel Tower,

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he thought it was garish.

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His legacy does live on
in his family...

34
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I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't realize
you and The Melter were so close.

35
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I'm crying because
what if I die?

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Is this literally the first time
you've contemplated your own mortality?

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Yes! And I don't like it!
You know what?

38
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- I do have something to add!
- Does anybody know who this guy is?

39
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Cry not! The Melter's death has
reminded me that my time too is limited.

40
00:01:49,739 --> 00:01:52,395
And if I am to avoid a legacy
as feeble as his,

41
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:55,784
I can't be distracted by corporate mergers
or my crumbling marriage.

42
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The Melter will have a legacy!

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As the hapless goon who inspired me,

44
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MODOK, to get back
to what matters most!

45
00:02:03,043 --> 00:02:06,334
Taking over the world!
I feel so alive!

46
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,755
Papa do preach!

47
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Now let us bury one of our own

48
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in the tradition of the villains of old.

49
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I'm sorry, what's happening?

50
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,853
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

51
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,229
If you need anything,
anything at all...

52
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,024
go to Walmart.

53
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They've got everything.
The store is incredible.

54
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Whoa!

55
00:02:33,035 --> 00:02:34,818
Walmart just paid me for saying that!

56
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,697
That's insane!

57
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:43,998
This Jodify Method

58
00:02:43,999 --> 00:02:46,417
for Life Straightening Contentment
is incredible!

59
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I've already organized
my Chapsticks,

60
00:02:48,087 --> 00:02:51,045
and I'm storing my socks
in the vegetable crisper.

61
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,916
Oh, you've reached level seven!

62
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This is your wife, right?
The Jodie?

63
00:02:54,987 --> 00:02:57,585
What? No. Yes. I don't know!
Get out of my way!

64
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,644
I just buried my best friend,
and I need to harness

65
00:02:59,645 --> 00:03:01,558
all the good energy I'm feeling.

66
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,975
Monica! I just came from
the most rejuvenating funeral!

67
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:08,808
Aw, who died? Was it
your last shred of dignity?

68
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:12,362
No! And not even your weird,
over-shaped eyebrows can ruin my mood.

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00:03:12,363 --> 00:03:14,899
For today is the day
I get back to my roots.

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Today is the day I kill Iron Man.

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I've confirmed that Tony Stark is working
from Stark Tower all day.

72
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That gives me an eight-hour window
to get that old Black Hole Gun

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out of the Armory and blast
the entire tower into nothingness.

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Ugh! As much as I'd love to dedicate
my day to ruining that plan,

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I'm busy with
my cybernetic manatee research.

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I need to finish today before all my work
"dies in manatee agony," so to speak.

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Hey, Austin!

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00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:44,345
I'm going to check the Black Hole Gun
out of the Armory to kill Iron Man.

79
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,017
That's rad stuff, man.

80
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The Armory is part
of the Operations Department now, so...

81
00:03:48,899 --> 00:03:51,016
Ah, whatever! It's gun time!

82
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'Scuse me. Just gonna move past
your body here.

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First I want to let you know
the great news.

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We're deeply troubled
by your lab expenses!

85
00:03:57,532 --> 00:03:58,819
How is that "great news"?

86
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Huge electricity consumption,
plasma of the month club,

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and a ton spent on
a manatee corpse removal service?

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00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:07,917
I'll be honest. They don't fight
very hard to live.

89
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We're gonna need
a super-fun exhaustive report

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00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,037
of what you've been spending
19 hours a day,

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00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,713
seven days a week,
developing in there.

92
00:04:13,714 --> 00:04:16,510
That's gonna be
a big ol' "hell no" for me!

93
00:04:16,511 --> 00:04:19,297
Check the A.I.M. org chart.
I don't report to anyone.

94
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:22,470
Uh, more great news!
The org chart has changed!

95
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As our MODOK is about to learn.

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Jodification Step 17:

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You're going to need
way more bird feeders.

98
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Wha... She never let me have
any bird feeders.

99
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:36,943
Dave. MODOK, your god-king, demands
one Black Hole Gun right now.

100
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,778
Ooh, I'd love to,

101
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,779
but first you need to get approval
from Doris in Operations.

102
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She basically runs this place!

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- Doris?
- I wish!

104
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I'm just Daphne, Doris' assistant.

105
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The guy in the other place said
I need her to let me get the thing.

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That's true, Mr. MODOK,
but Doris won't approve anything

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until you run it by Douglas in Legal.

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My hands are tied
until your budget gets rubber-stamped

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by Darrel in Accounting.

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Accounting can't even look
at your proposal

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00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,430
until you pitch it
to the Senior Operations team:

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Doris, Donald, Dillman,
Louise with a silent D,

113
00:05:05,309 --> 00:05:06,715
and D-Louise with a big ol' loud D.

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I have to do a pitch?

115
00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:10,515
And according to this memo
I just received,

116
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your big pitch is in five minutes!

117
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Oh, my God!

118
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,625
Is he just going to stand there or...

119
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Every one of us
is born missing something.

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Something important.

121
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We couldn't begin to describe
its shape or its weight.

122
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But the hole it left behind
is always there with us.

123
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It's a hole so deep it cannot be filled.

124
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Work, liquor, religion.

125
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,531
Love.

126
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,931
The hole swallows them all.

127
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It's a black hole.

128
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A supermassive collapse
in the fabric of our souls.

129
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There is nothing more powerful.

130
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,852
So why not use it?

131
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Ladies and gentlemen, let us put
that black hole into a gun

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and have it torment
someone else for a change.

133
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:03,356
In closing, I am going to blast
that wet bitch Tony Stark

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00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,763
into a black hole.

135
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,235
Black Hole Gun, won't you come?

136
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:08,642
Won't you come?

137
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,408
I have to go. I'm cheating on my wife.

138
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,420
Impressive work, MODOK.

139
00:06:14,421 --> 00:06:16,246
I'll be happy to approve your request,

140
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,460
just as soon as it gets sign-off

141
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,509
from Grumbl West, Grumbl North,
Grumbl restaurant division,

142
00:06:19,510 --> 00:06:20,910
and Growl-mbl, the Grumbl for dogs.

143
00:06:20,916 --> 00:06:22,276
It should take about three months.

144
00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:23,877
This isn't fair!

145
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,302
I wanna kill Iron Man now!

146
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,845
Ugh! God, that burns.

147
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,346
I wanted lemonade.

148
00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:33,892
- Huh?
- Oh, sorry about the force field.

149
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,645
I use it to keep out pests.

150
00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:36,606
And total shitheads.

151
00:06:36,607 --> 00:06:39,265
Dope! Just came to give you
some more great news.

152
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:42,193
I had the rockstars in HR check your file.

153
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:46,620
Turns out in your 10 years here,
you've used none of your vacation days.

154
00:06:46,621 --> 00:06:49,825
No rockstar's ever done that before,
you rockstar!

155
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,696
- And?
- And starting tomorrow,

156
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:55,924
you have to use every single one
of your vacation days.

157
00:06:55,925 --> 00:06:59,794
Three whole months of fun in the sun.

158
00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:01,315
All right, passengers,

159
00:07:01,339 --> 00:07:03,669
time for everyone
to fun-gregate for lobsterritas

160
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:05,554
and some reggae-themed improv.

161
00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:07,176
Please, no.

162
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,967
Oh, sorry, Monica,
this comes straight from Doris.

163
00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,972
Ah, this is the worst!

164
00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:15,772
I guess if I skip lunch
and don't sedate the manatees,

165
00:07:15,773 --> 00:07:18,729
I should be able to get most
of their skeletons out by end of day.

166
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,189
B-b-b-bonus news!

167
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:21,569
You don't get to do any of that

168
00:07:21,570 --> 00:07:23,437
because all upper-level employees

169
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:27,159
have a mandatory five-hour workplace
emotional safety seminar.

170
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:30,575
And if you have a problem with that,
you can eat my ass...

171
00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:34,786
is the kind of thing they'll teach you
not to say at the seminar.

172
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,205
Byeeeeeee!

173
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,456
- Hey, MODOK...
- Blow it out your web portal, dick.

174
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,548
That'll be great for the seminar!
Which you now have to go to.

175
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,134
So what's your problem?

176
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,255
I got no gun, I got no legacy.

177
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,100
Before you know it,
I'll be a rotting corpse in the woods

178
00:07:52,101 --> 00:07:53,141
that a bunch of kids find,

179
00:07:53,144 --> 00:07:55,905
propelling them into adulthood
and cementing their friendship forever.

180
00:07:55,929 --> 00:07:58,231
They're making me take a vacation.

181
00:07:58,232 --> 00:08:01,188
Good God. I would never
make an employee do that.

182
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:02,148
Or let them.

183
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:04,109
Seriously, remember how
it used to be around here?

184
00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:05,484
Messy. Disorganized.

185
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,145
Hilarious worker deaths.

186
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,824
Science for science's sake.

187
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:19,330
You can do this, Monica.
You're gonna get the job.

188
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,383
You're gonna get to work with your hero.

189
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,627
What a song!

190
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:26,169
We'll be right back
with more of our all-'80s Friday

191
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,467
in this, the year 2009.

192
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:33,262
Oh, what an interesting question!

193
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,892
I guess if I needed
to take out a superhero,

194
00:08:35,893 --> 00:08:39,310
I'd fold dark matter ions and channel them
through a microscopic prism

195
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,895
to create a beam capable of destroying

196
00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:42,976
even the most powerful threat
they could throw at us.

197
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,315
Great answer!

198
00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:46,356
You're like the character House
from the show House,

199
00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:49,532
which is very popular
in this, the year of our Lord 2009.

200
00:08:49,533 --> 00:08:53,199
Anyway, let me be the first to say
welcome aboard, Science Drone HB86...

201
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,490
I just want
to say that I'm a big fan. Ha!

202
00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:58,412
Wow, you said that really fast.

203
00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,455
Now suit up.

204
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:02,666
'Cause we're taking on
a hella sweet secret project today.

205
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:04,208
We're gonna kill an Avenger.

206
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,839
Yes! I got it! I got my dream job.

207
00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:10,219
This is actually my office.

208
00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:11,837
I'm not sure why I left. You leave.

209
00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:13,244
Okay!

210
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,265
You're right.
This place was better before.

211
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,766
We're two of the most brilliant scientists
on the planet.

212
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,686
Huh, one of us
more brilliant than the other.

213
00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:22,687
Agreed.

214
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,021
Me?

215
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:26,279
We can outsmart
these corporate dillholes.

216
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,895
Are you saying that we should
begrudgingly work together

217
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,532
to achieve our overlapping goals?

218
00:09:31,533 --> 00:09:34,409
Yes. You'll get your gun
to kill a beloved superhero...

219
00:09:34,410 --> 00:09:36,488
Thus securing my legacy...

220
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,373
Sure. And I won't have
to take a vacation.

221
00:09:39,374 --> 00:09:40,774
Team up?

222
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,232
Team up.

223
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:46,544
Whoa, Monica, your veins are popping!

224
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:48,585
Why aren't mine doing that?
Here, give me a minute.

225
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,298
Here they come.

226
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:52,629
Come on. You're embarrassing me.

227
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:57,512
All the decisions made in A.I.M.
eventually go through Doris in Operations.

228
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,980
If we can get to her computer, unseen,

229
00:09:59,981 --> 00:10:02,725
you can hack into it,
get immediate approval for your gun,

230
00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:04,437
and erase all my vacation days.

231
00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,978
Vacation, all you ever didn't wanted.

232
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:09,442
But how do we get out of
that mandatory workplace training?

233
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:13,988
What if MODOK and Monica were there,
but we weren't?

234
00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:16,115
Ah-ha! Say no more!

235
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,076
Uh... Well, say way more.

236
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:24,418
These are silicone-based
humanoid body doubles.

237
00:10:24,419 --> 00:10:26,836
I was going to use them
for high-level espionage

238
00:10:26,837 --> 00:10:28,415
but could never quite crack it.

239
00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:32,300
They can only be programmed
to remember about 100 prerecorded words,

240
00:10:32,301 --> 00:10:35,049
and after about two hours,
they start to decompose.

241
00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:38,221
Still, they should be enough
to fool the morons around here.

242
00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:39,769
Monica, I wasn't paying attention,

243
00:10:39,770 --> 00:10:41,305
and now there are two of you!

244
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,348
Are you a witch?

245
00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:45,351
I've already loaded mine up
with a bunch of generic business talk.

246
00:10:45,375 --> 00:10:46,062
You do the same.

247
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:49,442
I've gotta go Saran wrap
some manatee genitals before they spoil.

248
00:10:49,443 --> 00:10:51,279
Or maybe this is the perfect chance

249
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:54,656
to try out some of the new catchphrases
I've been working on.

250
00:10:54,657 --> 00:10:55,905
Catchphrases!

251
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,306
Ooh, that one's pretty good.

252
00:10:57,908 --> 00:10:59,867
How do we address diversity

253
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:03,118
in a company
where we're all required to wear masks?

254
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,791
Maybe we're already diverse?

255
00:11:04,792 --> 00:11:07,628
On three,
everyone yells out what race they are.

256
00:11:07,629 --> 00:11:10,996
If that makes you uncomfortable,
just say, "Uncomfortable."

257
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,297
Okay? One, two, three.

258
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:14,878
- Lithuanian.
- Uncomfortable.

259
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,345
Ah, MODOK, Monica. Thank...

260
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,306
Yes, let's circle back on that later.

261
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:23,474
This big boy likes big, big burgers.

262
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,115
Now, that's a great share, MODOK.

263
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,688
Paging Doctor Horny!

264
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:32,027
You really nailed it
with these friggin' jigglin' jelly guys.

265
00:11:32,028 --> 00:11:35,235
Thanks. Doris is going
into a teleconference now.

266
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:37,357
It's only scheduled
to last about 30 minutes,

267
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,664
but we need to keep her in there
for at least two hours.

268
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:42,198
I actually had an idea for that.

269
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,540
Hey, everyone. This is Paul speaking,

270
00:11:44,541 --> 00:11:45,955
over here with Michelle and Jada.

271
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,366
- Hi.
- Hey, everybody.

272
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,502
And before we begin,

273
00:11:48,503 --> 00:11:51,169
I just want to say how excited I am
about this meeting.

274
00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,750
Hi. Good afternoon, Paul.

275
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:55,011
You're on with Doris, Head of Operations.

276
00:11:55,012 --> 00:11:56,837
And with me are Jose and Dillman.

277
00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:57,842
- Hi!
- Hi!

278
00:11:57,843 --> 00:12:00,283
Can they hear us?
I thought it said they were connected.

279
00:12:00,307 --> 00:12:01,505
Um, we can hear you.

280
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,182
- Can you hear us?
- Hi, Doris. Hi, Jose and Dillman.

281
00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:06,103
Wonderful. So, about the fourth quarter...

282
00:12:06,104 --> 00:12:08,730
This is Michelle.
Yes, we can hear you. Go ahead.

283
00:12:08,731 --> 00:12:11,979
Yeah, I... Okay.
I was saying the fourth quarter...

284
00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,262
Hi, Michelle. This is Jose.

285
00:12:13,286 --> 00:12:14,233
Jose, shut up!

286
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,693
Seems like we have a delay happening here.

287
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:17,403
- Hi, Jose.
- Okay, so I think we should...

288
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,964
Doris, did you just tell me to shut up?

289
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,986
Uh, no, no. I was talking to Jose.

290
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:22,869
Hi! Jose here!
I was supposed to shut up.

291
00:12:22,870 --> 00:12:24,408
I think there's some kind of...

292
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,611
I think there's a delay.

293
00:12:25,635 --> 00:12:27,745
Hi, Jose!
Sorry Doris told you to shut up!

294
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,948
- I only told him that because...
- Shut up!

295
00:12:29,972 --> 00:12:32,751
Um, okay, I assume that "shut up"
was meant for Jada.

296
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:35,132
Anyways, I think maybe
the best thing to do is...

297
00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:37,215
Sorry, that "shut up"
was meant for Jada.

298
00:12:37,216 --> 00:12:38,586
Shut up, Paul! Doris is talking!

299
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,802
Everybody, shut up!

300
00:12:39,803 --> 00:12:41,680
I think we should
try to reboot the server.

301
00:12:41,681 --> 00:12:44,557
Don't tell Paul to shut up, Dillman!
You shut up.

302
00:12:44,558 --> 00:12:46,846
I heard you cheated on your wife.

303
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,530
- I did!
- I think this is...

304
00:12:48,532 --> 00:12:49,852
- Shut up!
- Shut up!

305
00:12:49,876 --> 00:12:50,645
Wait, who's crying?

306
00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:51,896
Hey, Doris. Hey, Paul.

307
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,647
Rodney here,
calling in from Phoenix.

308
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:55,189
I'm also really excited about...

309
00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:57,392
- Wait, I think there's a delay.
- Who is Rodney?

310
00:12:57,393 --> 00:13:00,273
Michelle here, just saying
this is hell and I want to die.

311
00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:07,414
I've done my share of torture,
but this shit is evil.

312
00:13:07,415 --> 00:13:08,579
Yeah.

313
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:11,999
Now we gotta get Doris' secretary Daphne
and the rest of her sector out of there.

314
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,588
Daphne's the head
of the party planning committee.

315
00:13:14,589 --> 00:13:17,546
I got it! We can have Gary pretend
today is his birthday.

316
00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:19,078
Oh, well, today is my birthday

317
00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:20,007
actually. See?

318
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,385
Yes, Gary, way to sell it!

319
00:13:22,386 --> 00:13:24,636
Will people really show up for him?

320
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:25,638
He's Gary.

321
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:27,518
People love me. I'm Gary!

322
00:13:27,519 --> 00:13:29,266
It's the riskiest part of our plan,

323
00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:31,058
but we're gonna have to roll the dice.

324
00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:34,021
So it's very important to give
all of your kitchen utensils

325
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,606
first and last names.

326
00:13:35,630 --> 00:13:37,863
_

327
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,395
Mandatory birthday
in the break room!

328
00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:41,684
I didn't have time to get a cake

329
00:13:41,708 --> 00:13:45,365
so I'll be making birthday paste
out of Sweet'N Low and old creamers.

330
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,116
All right, hack time.

331
00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:53,963
Her password must be
something she looks at all day,

332
00:13:53,964 --> 00:13:55,709
like "desk."

333
00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:56,841
No, that's not working.

334
00:13:56,842 --> 00:13:58,877
Maybe "deskl."

335
00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,506
Nope. "desk2."

336
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,927
- Would you hurry up?
- Why? We've got plenty of time.

337
00:14:02,928 --> 00:14:04,328
So long as nothing goes wrong.

338
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:07,385
Monica?
MODOK? Are you okay?

339
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:10,353
Donkeytastic...

340
00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:15,057
All right, seems like I should
report these employee deaths to Doris.

341
00:14:15,081 --> 00:14:16,147
Come on, everyone.

342
00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:18,478
Well, maybe her password is my birthday.

343
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:20,360
Why would it be... Oh, wait, look,

344
00:14:20,363 --> 00:14:21,740
- it's right there.
- _

345
00:14:21,741 --> 00:14:24,067
Huh, what do you know? Okay, I'm in.

346
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,832
And that's when I realized

347
00:14:25,856 --> 00:14:28,659
I didn't have to inherit
my father's drinking problem.

348
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,289
Hi, Paul, Jose here.

349
00:14:30,290 --> 00:14:31,827
That is such a breakthrough!

350
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,580
I don't think anyone can hear me,
but it feels good to talk.

351
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,042
All right! The hell with this!

352
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,084
I'll be in my office!

353
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,415
Yeah, Dillman! Shut up! This is Rodney.

354
00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:41,671
# Happy birthday
to you Happy birthday to you #

355
00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,183
# Happy birthday dear... #

356
00:14:43,184 --> 00:14:44,634
# Happy birthday to you #

357
00:14:44,635 --> 00:14:46,505
This is such a special day.

358
00:14:46,512 --> 00:14:49,262
How did you guys know
my favorite paste flavor was gray?

359
00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,769
It's a UNIX system. I know this.

360
00:14:56,772 --> 00:14:58,819
Doris, two employees melted...

361
00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,395
Save it! I walk in the halls,

362
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,609
I piss in the stalls,

363
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:02,948
and I talk in my walls.

364
00:15:02,949 --> 00:15:04,395
Which is what I call my office.

365
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,804
Hurry, they're here!

366
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,459
_

367
00:15:08,479 --> 00:15:10,540
_

368
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:13,911
We did it!

369
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,623
Now, let's go get that gun.

370
00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:17,714
And like a whisper, we're gone.

371
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:24,965
Hold up, Monica.

372
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,926
Before we end our uneasy alliance,

373
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,007
I just want to say
that I know we don't get along,

374
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,932
but just like a lot of my plans,

375
00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:33,060
this one never would've worked
without you.

376
00:15:33,061 --> 00:15:35,058
Thanks for helping me secure my legacy.

377
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,900
Now, let's go send Tony Stark
to rich guy hell!

378
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,234
What?

379
00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:45,315
Two Monicas? Again?

380
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,530
Q3 Revenue...

381
00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:48,781
I'll take that.

382
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,079
You know, MODOK, when Monica came to me

383
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:55,326
and told me how you singlehandedly
hatched a plan to subvert company policy,

384
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,039
and steal Grumbl equipment,

385
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,875
I was like, "Nah way."

386
00:15:58,876 --> 00:16:02,836
But now it seems
like the answer might be, tragically,

387
00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:04,128
"Yes way."

388
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:07,884
Monica, you dare betray me?
Why?

389
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:18,686
Holy crap! I wanted to kill an Avenger,
but you took down one of the main ones.

390
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:21,187
If... If this were, say, a film franchise,

391
00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:24,190
you would've just ruined it
by killing a huge character.

392
00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:26,743
I don't even need to say his or her name.
We all know it.

393
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:31,991
Yes, peons, I, MODOK, have killed
this incredibly essential Avenger!

394
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:34,202
Soak it in, my babies.

395
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,751
It's just better
for everyone at A.I.M.

396
00:16:36,752 --> 00:16:38,152
if they think MODOK did this.

397
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,084
Monica, how could you?

398
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:44,125
This was all your idea!

399
00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:48,177
"It's just better for everyone at A.I.M.
if they think MODOK did this."

400
00:16:48,178 --> 00:16:51,594
What? Is that, like, a callback
to something I said before?

401
00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:54,175
MODOK, I did this because you suck.

402
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,721
And A.I.M. sucks because of you.

403
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:58,353
You're a bad scientist,
and if anyone remembers you,

404
00:16:58,354 --> 00:17:01,521
it will only be
as the piece of shit I stepped over

405
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:02,732
on my way to the top.

406
00:17:02,733 --> 00:17:05,441
We're throwin' down. Like right now.

407
00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:06,442
Bring it, bitch.

408
00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:08,323
We got us a mad scientist fight.

409
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:29,009
What's that little thing gonna...

410
00:17:29,550 --> 00:17:30,950
Oh, my God!

411
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:33,546
Gah! Deliver ice burst!

412
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,049
You still can't use your mindblast.

413
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:48,050
My dang shoulder!

414
00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:05,462
Why are they shrieking like that?

415
00:18:05,463 --> 00:18:06,863
'Cause it's cool.

416
00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:16,179
Ow, my dang shoulder again.

417
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,574
My choice is Robobra!

418
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:34,780
Comando-tee, I call on you!

419
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:42,369
Aw, man! Unlikely animal friendship.

420
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:44,542
Seems like they're not gonna...

421
00:18:44,543 --> 00:18:46,459
- Yeah.
- So should we...

422
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:47,860
Yeah.

423
00:18:59,473 --> 00:19:00,556
Give up?

424
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,387
More like shiv up!

425
00:19:05,062 --> 00:19:07,062
Oh, God!

426
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:13,403
No, no. I'm not done with you yet.

427
00:19:14,655 --> 00:19:17,155
Ah! All the religions are wrong!

428
00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:20,788
Are you seeing this?

429
00:19:20,789 --> 00:19:24,456
She is the key. Not him.

430
00:19:32,798 --> 00:19:34,298
I've got great news!

431
00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:37,509
I'm getting better at delivering bad news.

432
00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:38,719
You're demoted.

433
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,180
As for you, Monica, I'm impressed.

434
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,310
Never before have I seen an employee

435
00:19:43,311 --> 00:19:46,688
with both the brawn of a bully
and the cunning of a snitch,

436
00:19:46,689 --> 00:19:50,477
which is why I'm making you
our newest scientist supreme!

437
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:55,319
Now, who wants birthday paste?

438
00:19:56,488 --> 00:19:58,158
I love the birthday paste.

439
00:19:58,159 --> 00:19:59,576
No...

440
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,143
Finally.

441
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,497
What is this?

442
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,374
I've got more great news.

443
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:09,325
Oh, God, no.

444
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:13,132
Grumbl loved those
silicone-based humanoid body doubles.

445
00:20:13,133 --> 00:20:15,800
Marketing already has
a ton of applications for these things.

446
00:20:15,801 --> 00:20:17,678
Celebrity lookalikes, servants,

447
00:20:17,679 --> 00:20:19,546
seat fillers for Marlins games.

448
00:20:19,553 --> 00:20:23,769
We just have to figure out a way
to keep people from having sex with them.

449
00:20:23,770 --> 00:20:26,345
Ooh, that could be
the first thing you work on.

450
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:28,021
But my manatee super-soldiers are...

451
00:20:28,022 --> 00:20:29,228
Canceled!

452
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:32,019
Now, let's get all these
distracting weapons off your plate

453
00:20:32,024 --> 00:20:34,358
so you can spend 24/7, 365,

454
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:37,319
making soft, jiggle-y bros for us to sell.

455
00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:39,659
Or, as Marketing calls them, Jiggalos!

456
00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:41,696
Remember, no one can have sex with them.

457
00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:44,435
Namaste...

458
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:55,337
Hey, Iron Man,
come out and face me.

459
00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:57,298
I'm gonna kill you.

460
00:20:57,299 --> 00:20:58,339
With rocks!

461
00:20:58,342 --> 00:21:00,892
I will have a legacy.
I will not be forgotten.

462
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:02,636
I'm not dead yet, Stark.

463
00:21:02,638 --> 00:21:04,138
I'm not dead yet.

464
00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:06,389
Whoa, come on, man.
We're trying to have a work party,

465
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:09,191
and you're out here bumming everyone out
talking about death and stuff.

466
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:13,068
Okay, MODOK, you seem like you're
in a really tough place right now.

467
00:21:13,069 --> 00:21:14,524
Have you heard of the Jodify Method?

468
00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:16,725
I think it could really turn
some things around for you.

469
00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:20,573
Also, someone told me
you called me a "wet bitch"?

470
00:21:20,574 --> 00:21:21,974
What does that even mean?

471
00:21:24,076 --> 00:21:26,326
That's what it means, you wet bitch.

472
00:21:27,162 --> 00:21:29,502
Oh, my God! You're an actual clown.

473
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,285
That was for you, Melter.

474
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:35,503
We did it, buddy. We did it.

475
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:40,424
Oh, sorry, uh... Was there
something you wanted to keep here?

476
00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:46,097
"And, I suppose, A.I.M. was not
the culture fit I thought it would be.

477
00:21:46,098 --> 00:21:48,178
Please consider this
my resignation and I... "

478
00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:51,143
Hey, Science Drone HB86.
Great first day.

479
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:54,483
I'm sorry I had to take credit
for your kill in front of everyone today.

480
00:21:54,484 --> 00:21:56,321
That is such a 2009 thing to do.

481
00:21:56,322 --> 00:21:58,896
And it is 2009, so I did it.

482
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:00,778
But that gun was badass.

483
00:22:00,779 --> 00:22:02,864
Especially the rubber grip.

484
00:22:02,865 --> 00:22:04,735
That's my favorite part. So easy to hold.

485
00:22:04,741 --> 00:22:06,200
Glad you liked it.

486
00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:07,789
In fact, I had another idea.

487
00:22:07,790 --> 00:22:12,116
I think, with enough time, I could make
a gun capable of firing a mini black hole.

488
00:22:12,124 --> 00:22:13,252
Make whatever you want.

489
00:22:13,253 --> 00:22:16,379
I'll fund it as long as you keep giving me
dope-ass ways to murder people.

490
00:22:16,380 --> 00:22:19,128
No oversight.
Oh, yeah, and I grabbed this for you.

491
00:22:27,931 --> 00:22:31,691
We've seized all her tech
and found a way to keep her distracted.

492
00:22:31,692 --> 00:22:34,975
Of course. My purpose is but to serve

493
00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:37,690
Hexus the Living Corporation.

494
00:22:37,891 --> 00:22:40,731
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~