1
00:00:01,109 --> 00:00:05,044
Behold the Quantum Flux.
A magic portal to the past,

2
00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:08,038
what some might call a "time machine."

3
00:00:08,107 --> 00:00:10,073
This is where you guys go "Oooh."

4
00:00:10,074 --> 00:00:11,103
- No, thank you.
- Just get on with it.

5
00:00:11,138 --> 00:00:12,300
"Ooh," indeed.

6
00:00:12,309 --> 00:00:14,656
I'm throwing Dad and Gloria's
10th anniversary party,

7
00:00:14,691 --> 00:00:16,100
and Phil is part of the entertainment.

8
00:00:16,135 --> 00:00:18,289
I'm gonna make Gloria
seemingly dematerialize,

9
00:00:18,324 --> 00:00:20,137
then wondrously travel
back through time,

10
00:00:20,172 --> 00:00:22,193
and then rematerialize
in her wedding dress.

11
00:00:22,228 --> 00:00:24,048
She's gonna change her clothes in a box.

12
00:00:24,083 --> 00:00:25,624
This is why I'm nervous
about you introducing me.

13
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:27,517
I'm kidding! You're gonna be great.

14
00:00:27,552 --> 00:00:31,945
He better be great. I want Dad
and Gloria's party to be perfect.

15
00:00:31,980 --> 00:00:34,081
I was kind of a pill at their wedding.

16
00:00:34,116 --> 00:00:36,017
I hadn't fully accepted Gloria yet.

17
00:00:36,052 --> 00:00:38,697
And I feel a little responsible
for what happened with my mom.

18
00:00:38,732 --> 00:00:41,704
I fed her, like, three drinks
at the reception.

19
00:00:41,739 --> 00:00:43,168
You know, just to take the edge off.

20
00:00:43,203 --> 00:00:45,886
I'm Gloria! Kiss me! Oh, hey, kiss me!

21
00:00:47,188 --> 00:00:49,743
No, no! Oh, geez! Mom! Mom!

22
00:00:49,778 --> 00:00:51,179
She almost took the doorframe off.

23
00:00:51,214 --> 00:00:53,956
Into the wormhole she goes.

24
00:00:53,991 --> 00:00:57,782
Clocks turn backwards,
calendar pages re-attach themselves,

25
00:00:57,817 --> 00:01:02,318
and behold! The beautiful bride!

26
00:01:02,750 --> 00:01:06,256
Guys! This isn't exciting to you?
Use your imaginations.

27
00:01:06,291 --> 00:01:09,922
Picture me standing
next to Gloria in a wedding dress.

28
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We're done.

29
00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:14,231
Mitchell, did you get the cake?

30
00:01:14,266 --> 00:01:15,699
Yeah, yeah. I got everything.

31
00:01:15,734 --> 00:01:16,877
Okay, good.
I'll have to meet you at Dad's.

32
00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:19,113
I need to go with Phil
to pick up his magic box.

33
00:01:19,182 --> 00:01:22,316
Oh, and, hey, you told Phil not to
mention the trick to Cam, right?

34
00:01:22,351 --> 00:01:23,684
If Cam finds out,
he's just gonna want us

35
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to do some kind of performance, too.

36
00:01:25,388 --> 00:01:27,355
Pretty sure I told him
not to say anything.

37
00:01:30,793 --> 00:01:32,360
Yeah, pretty sure you didn't.

38
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Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com

39
00:01:45,399 --> 00:01:47,032
So, uh, what's all this?

40
00:01:47,101 --> 00:01:48,801
This is redemption.

41
00:01:48,869 --> 00:01:50,369
Maybe just a straight answer.

42
00:01:50,438 --> 00:01:52,337
The year was 2007.

43
00:01:52,406 --> 00:01:54,840
The wedding reception of Jay and Gloria.

44
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Our gift to the newlyweds
was a duet performance

45
00:01:57,878 --> 00:01:59,678
- of "Islands in the Stream."
- "Islands in the Stream."

46
00:01:59,747 --> 00:02:02,414
- A gift that would never be, because...
- I remember.

47
00:02:02,483 --> 00:02:04,883
I fed my mom a few drinks
at the reception.

48
00:02:04,952 --> 00:02:07,319
I really did not want to sing,
so I figured

49
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,922
if I got her a little tipsy,
I wouldn't have to perform

50
00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:11,323
because I'd have to hold her hand...

51
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,358
No, no, no! Oh, geez!

52
00:02:13,427 --> 00:02:15,127
Mom, Mom!

53
00:02:15,196 --> 00:02:17,229
...and later hold her hair back.

54
00:02:17,264 --> 00:02:19,631
Well, your family has wondered
for 10 years "What if?"

55
00:02:19,700 --> 00:02:22,033
Today, they find out what for.

56
00:02:22,102 --> 00:02:23,468
Mm, I don't know, Cam.

57
00:02:23,537 --> 00:02:24,636
I'm a little rusty,

58
00:02:24,705 --> 00:02:26,738
and acoustics are never good
inside a tent.

59
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And, oh! This party isn't about us.

60
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There's a whole slate of performers.

61
00:02:30,978 --> 00:02:32,210
Gloria's changing in a box.

62
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Which makes our medley
all the more welcome.

63
00:02:33,947 --> 00:02:37,716
It's a medley now? No! No.
In no way, shape, or form

64
00:02:37,784 --> 00:02:40,318
am I performing today in front
of my judgmental family.

65
00:02:40,387 --> 00:02:43,922
- Fine. We'll just... go to the party.
- Thank you.

66
00:02:43,991 --> 00:02:45,290
- No medley.
- Exactly.

67
00:02:45,359 --> 00:02:48,626
- Wait. This isn't a trick...
- Just three un-related songs.

68
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You just agreed.
Rehearsal starts right now.

69
00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:53,598
Jump in when you're ready.

70
00:02:57,437 --> 00:02:59,037
Why are you cooking?

71
00:02:59,106 --> 00:03:00,572
Are you allowed back there?

72
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,241
It's our anniversary. Can't I do
something nice for your mother?

73
00:03:03,310 --> 00:03:04,976
Maybe.

74
00:03:05,045 --> 00:03:06,211
Morning, beautiful.

75
00:03:06,279 --> 00:03:08,580
We have huevos, we have chorizo,
we have tortilla.

76
00:03:08,648 --> 00:03:10,115
What we ain't got is Manny.

77
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Unfortunately, he's gonna be
a no-show at the party today.

78
00:03:13,186 --> 00:03:14,452
Aha.

79
00:03:14,521 --> 00:03:15,887
What can I get you?

80
00:03:15,956 --> 00:03:19,057
Take that garbage away from me.
I'm going for a walk.

81
00:03:20,727 --> 00:03:22,594
Manny was a big part of our wedding.

82
00:03:22,662 --> 00:03:25,130
He walked Gloria down the aisle,
did the calligraphy.

83
00:03:25,198 --> 00:03:27,766
And I knew him not showing up
to our anniversary party

84
00:03:27,834 --> 00:03:30,035
would put Gloria in a bad mood.

85
00:03:30,103 --> 00:03:31,903
In some ways, I feel responsible.

86
00:03:35,675 --> 00:03:37,342
You're home again?

87
00:03:37,411 --> 00:03:38,543
You're in college.

88
00:03:38,612 --> 00:03:40,178
You can't come back every weekend!

89
00:03:40,247 --> 00:03:41,813
- So no hug?
- I love you,

90
00:03:41,882 --> 00:03:43,782
but you're not making the most
of your college experience

91
00:03:43,850 --> 00:03:45,050
by being here all the time.

92
00:03:45,118 --> 00:03:47,385
My father dropped me off
my freshman year,

93
00:03:47,454 --> 00:03:48,987
and I didn't see him again
till the spring.

94
00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:50,355
- You want to know why?
- I don't know.

95
00:03:50,424 --> 00:03:51,823
Something about dames and fistfights?

96
00:03:51,892 --> 00:03:53,658
Exactly. Too busy making friends,

97
00:03:53,727 --> 00:03:55,760
chasing skirts,
and things of that nature.

98
00:03:55,829 --> 00:03:57,595
But your mother and I think
it's bad for you

99
00:03:57,664 --> 00:03:58,763
to be here all the time.

100
00:03:58,832 --> 00:04:01,232
So hit the road,
and we'll see you at Thanksgiving.

101
00:04:01,301 --> 00:04:02,934
Wait. I'm banned from my house?

102
00:04:03,003 --> 00:04:04,736
Don't think of it that way.

103
00:04:04,805 --> 00:04:06,371
You're banned from my house.

104
00:04:08,942 --> 00:04:11,843
Technically, Gloria
was not in on this decision,

105
00:04:11,912 --> 00:04:13,478
in the sense that...

106
00:04:13,547 --> 00:04:15,680
she was not in on this decision.

107
00:04:16,650 --> 00:04:17,916
Ruff, ruff, ruff!

108
00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:21,352
I was a little grumpy.

109
00:04:21,421 --> 00:04:24,956
I had agreed to do this magic trick
at the party with Phil.

110
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I go into a box, and then I come out
in my wedding dress.

111
00:04:29,029 --> 00:04:30,495
But there was a problem.

112
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Pull!

113
00:04:31,698 --> 00:04:33,932
She won't budge!

114
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,669
The only logical explanation
is that somebody snuck into my closet

115
00:04:37,737 --> 00:04:39,637
and shrunk my wedding dress.

116
00:04:39,706 --> 00:04:41,906
Like, probably my sister.

117
00:04:41,975 --> 00:04:43,108
So for the past week,

118
00:04:43,176 --> 00:04:45,076
I've had to, like, get even skinnier

119
00:04:45,145 --> 00:04:47,512
than I was at my wedding.

120
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Oh, shut up.

121
00:04:53,019 --> 00:04:54,119
Be cool.

122
00:04:54,187 --> 00:04:55,320
Phil, it's a magic shop.

123
00:04:55,388 --> 00:04:57,855
I'm the coolest person
that's ever been in here.

124
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Oh!

125
00:05:02,829 --> 00:05:04,462
How does he do it?

126
00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:06,336
I'm kidding. I know how he does it.

127
00:05:06,405 --> 00:05:08,472
Claire, meet the legendary
Mister Ekshun.

128
00:05:08,540 --> 00:05:11,608
- Hello.
- And what's this behind your ear?

129
00:05:11,677 --> 00:05:13,910
Oh, just some sweater fluff.

130
00:05:13,915 --> 00:05:16,949
Well, the place looks great.
Can you imagine coming here every day?

131
00:05:17,018 --> 00:05:18,818
I wish it was every day.

132
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:21,620
I have less and less time
for the old Illusionatorium,

133
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,822
with all the road jobs I still book.

134
00:05:23,854 --> 00:05:25,454
Would you mind quickly
walking me through

135
00:05:25,522 --> 00:05:27,355
- the Quantum Flux Illusion?
- Uh-huh.

136
00:05:27,424 --> 00:05:31,626
Well, according to magic bylaws,
I can't disclose the secret

137
00:05:31,695 --> 00:05:35,063
in the presence
of a non-licensed magician.

138
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,959
Not a problem. I can just step outside.

139
00:05:37,028 --> 00:05:40,563
Nonsense! We prepare for such things.

140
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:44,100
Ah! The old sensory-deprivation helmet.

141
00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:45,401
- Oh!
- I put that baby on,

142
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,437
it's almost like I don't have roommates.

143
00:05:47,505 --> 00:05:49,305
Yeah, I, like I said,
could just step out...

144
00:05:49,374 --> 00:05:50,740
Outside would be fine.

145
00:05:52,742 --> 00:05:55,978
- She's lovely.
- Yeah. I'm super lucky.

146
00:05:56,504 --> 00:05:58,538
Thank you so much
for helping me with this.

147
00:05:58,606 --> 00:06:01,140
Are you kidding?
I wouldn't have this life

148
00:06:01,209 --> 00:06:02,742
if you hadn't turned down
the magician gig

149
00:06:02,811 --> 00:06:04,577
on that Ixtapa cruise years ago.

150
00:06:04,646 --> 00:06:06,646
What? I-I was never offered that job.

151
00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:09,482
Yeah, they said they called you
and never heard back,

152
00:06:09,551 --> 00:06:11,284
so they moved on to me.

153
00:06:11,352 --> 00:06:13,186
I never got that call!

154
00:06:13,254 --> 00:06:14,620
Oh!

155
00:06:14,689 --> 00:06:17,059
I couldn't breathe! I couldn't breathe!

156
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,344
Well, you forgot
to turn on the ventilator.

157
00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:20,578
That was supposed to be my job?

158
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,246
No.

159
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,949
This was supposed to be my job.

160
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I look stupid.

161
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,703
Hey, you see what a bad mood
your mother's in?

162
00:06:28,771 --> 00:06:31,172
That's because she misses Manny.
Today, you're Manny.

163
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:32,673
But wouldn't she miss Joe then?

164
00:06:32,742 --> 00:06:33,808
Don't overthink.

165
00:06:33,876 --> 00:06:35,843
Just go in there, act all heartsick,

166
00:06:35,912 --> 00:06:38,145
and tell her you want to have high tea.

167
00:06:39,782 --> 00:06:42,817
Hey, Mom. Why are girls such a mystery?

168
00:06:42,885 --> 00:06:44,418
Have a scone!

169
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,287
Get out of here.
I cannot even look at that.

170
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:50,357
Yikes!

171
00:06:50,426 --> 00:06:53,493
Shake it off. That's okay.
That's a good first try.

172
00:06:53,510 --> 00:06:55,076
Go grab his pan flute!

173
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,880
How's my bride?

174
00:06:58,949 --> 00:07:01,016
Ay! So big now.

175
00:07:01,084 --> 00:07:02,784
I know. It snuck up on me, too.

176
00:07:02,853 --> 00:07:05,453
But remember, letting go
is a natural part of life.

177
00:07:05,522 --> 00:07:07,922
No. It's terrible, Jay.

178
00:07:07,991 --> 00:07:11,126
And sending Joe in here
with scones made it worse!

179
00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:14,763
Silencio, Fulgencio!

180
00:07:16,981 --> 00:07:21,517
? That old black magic ?
? has me in its spell ?

181
00:07:21,586 --> 00:07:25,220
? That old black magic ?
? that you weave so well ?

182
00:07:25,289 --> 00:07:28,791
Take it, Daddy!

183
00:07:29,961 --> 00:07:31,803
Oh! Hi, Mitchell.

184
00:07:31,838 --> 00:07:35,130
You know what? I def traded up
with Lily. I'm glad you backed out.

185
00:07:35,190 --> 00:07:37,090
Lily, why don't you
go rest your instrument?

186
00:07:37,159 --> 00:07:40,460
So, uh, just to break down
this "foolproof" plan,

187
00:07:40,529 --> 00:07:42,062
you thought
this would make me so jealous

188
00:07:42,131 --> 00:07:43,964
that I'd beg to be back
in the act, didn't you?

189
00:07:44,033 --> 00:07:47,200
Um, no. I just found a younger talent
that I clicked with.

190
00:07:47,269 --> 00:07:50,504
Okay, well, I look forward
to watching you two perform.

191
00:07:50,572 --> 00:07:54,908
Well, I envy you
getting to watch us perform.

192
00:07:55,035 --> 00:07:57,836
Lily, sweetheart, get in here!
The rehearsal's not over!

193
00:07:57,905 --> 00:08:00,772
Y-Y-Yeah, time's a-wasting,
my little thrush!

194
00:08:00,841 --> 00:08:02,941
And hurry! The party starts real soon!

195
00:08:03,010 --> 00:08:04,843
Okay, you know what? You win.

196
00:08:04,912 --> 00:08:07,613
You know I'm never taking
the stage with that screech owl.

197
00:08:07,681 --> 00:08:10,649
Just sing. It would be
very important for you.

198
00:08:10,718 --> 00:08:12,184
- For me?
- Yes.

199
00:08:12,253 --> 00:08:16,488
Your family has been entranced
by my performances many times.

200
00:08:16,601 --> 00:08:18,868
I don't need this,
but over the last 10 years,

201
00:08:18,937 --> 00:08:21,838
I've watch you shrink in their presence.

202
00:08:21,907 --> 00:08:23,473
And you love to sing.

203
00:08:23,542 --> 00:08:24,741
I like it fine.

204
00:08:24,810 --> 00:08:26,643
And when we go out,
you're the first person

205
00:08:26,712 --> 00:08:28,912
to grab the karaoke mic
and scat the night away,

206
00:08:28,980 --> 00:08:32,014
and you're good at it.
You know what people are calling you?

207
00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:33,086
Mnh-mnh.

208
00:08:33,154 --> 00:08:34,254
"Fella Fitzgerald."

209
00:08:34,322 --> 00:08:35,555
They do not!

210
00:08:35,624 --> 00:08:37,023
Yes, they do.

211
00:08:37,092 --> 00:08:39,859
And just once, I would love
to watch your talent soar

212
00:08:39,928 --> 00:08:42,595
in front of your family
and shut them up for good.

213
00:08:42,664 --> 00:08:44,230
- But if you don't want to...
- You know what? Screw it.

214
00:08:44,299 --> 00:08:45,850
I don't even care that
I'm mostly sure you're

215
00:08:45,875 --> 00:08:48,201
manipulating me right now.
We're doing this.

216
00:08:48,270 --> 00:08:50,003
I knew you'd come around.
Welcome back to the act.

217
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,071
Okay, now, this is a bit much for me.

218
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:53,873
So...

219
00:08:56,339 --> 00:08:59,439
Hey, Beardy.
Have you seen Manny Delgado?

220
00:08:59,508 --> 00:09:02,476
I think the make-out king
is a little occupied.

221
00:09:07,316 --> 00:09:09,749
Have you no respect for the ascot?!

222
00:09:11,248 --> 00:09:12,447
What are you doing here?

223
00:09:12,516 --> 00:09:14,483
I need you to come
to our anniversary party.

224
00:09:14,551 --> 00:09:15,884
I thought I was persona non grata.

225
00:09:15,953 --> 00:09:17,886
Now I'm halfway into flagrante delicto.

226
00:09:17,955 --> 00:09:19,221
This, I don't miss.

227
00:09:19,289 --> 00:09:21,390
Your mother is upset
you're not gonna be there.

228
00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:23,358
Well, then maybe she shouldn't
have banished me from the house.

229
00:09:23,427 --> 00:09:25,761
I may have accidentally led you to believe

230
00:09:25,829 --> 00:09:27,562
that she was part of that decision,

231
00:09:27,631 --> 00:09:29,164
- when actually...
- I knew it!

232
00:09:29,233 --> 00:09:31,433
I knew my mom wouldn't be
that mean to her little papi.

233
00:09:31,502 --> 00:09:32,567
Manny?

234
00:09:32,636 --> 00:09:33,969
One minute, baby.

235
00:09:34,038 --> 00:09:36,004
- That's been working?
- Shut up.

236
00:09:36,073 --> 00:09:39,107
So, I've been icing my mother
for a week because of you?

237
00:09:39,166 --> 00:09:40,598
She must think I'm the worst son.

238
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,000
Then come home and make her day.

239
00:09:42,068 --> 00:09:44,869
I'm not dropping everything
to come home and bail you out.

240
00:09:44,938 --> 00:09:46,504
Tomorrow, maybe... and I'm telling her
you're the reason

241
00:09:46,573 --> 00:09:48,639
- I haven't been around.
- Hold on. Hold on.

242
00:09:48,658 --> 00:09:50,425
It's better if she hears it from me.

243
00:09:50,493 --> 00:09:51,826
I just have to spin it

244
00:09:51,895 --> 00:09:53,861
as if it's something
I did in your best interest.

245
00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:56,664
And I'm supposed to back that up
like I'm somehow better off because...

246
00:09:56,733 --> 00:09:59,967
- Where'd you go, baby bear?
- Coming, baby bear.

247
00:10:00,078 --> 00:10:02,378
You're welcome. But two baby bears?

248
00:10:02,447 --> 00:10:04,280
I'm new at this.

249
00:10:04,349 --> 00:10:06,716
- Hey, Claire. Quick question.
- Uh-huh.

250
00:10:06,784 --> 00:10:09,719
I see that you only have
Mitch and I down for one song.

251
00:10:09,787 --> 00:10:11,420
Which isn't enough time to tell a story.

252
00:10:11,489 --> 00:10:14,323
So we would be willing to cut
our set list to six songs.

253
00:10:14,392 --> 00:10:15,491
Cool. So we'll keep it at one?

254
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:17,912
- Okay, so five quick songs, then?
- One song.

255
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,329
Okay, I would be willing to close this
right now at three songs.

256
00:10:20,398 --> 00:10:21,697
One quick song, and if you so much

257
00:10:21,766 --> 00:10:24,600
as begin to introduce the band,
I'll cut the power off.

258
00:10:24,669 --> 00:10:27,003
Okay, that is not the way
you talk to talent.

259
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,528
Gloria?

260
00:10:29,597 --> 00:10:32,164
I'm in the bathroom! Come in!

261
00:10:32,233 --> 00:10:34,333
Oh, uh...

262
00:10:34,402 --> 00:10:36,001
It's... It's Phil.

263
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:37,636
Come in!

264
00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:40,205
- Phil Dunphy.
- Phil!

265
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:43,742
Hey.

266
00:10:44,028 --> 00:10:45,527
The dress is in that bag over there.

267
00:10:45,596 --> 00:10:48,030
Oh, great. I'll hide it
in the back of the time machine.

268
00:10:48,099 --> 00:10:49,865
You, uh...

269
00:10:50,569 --> 00:10:52,502
You got a big wrestling match coming up?

270
00:10:52,571 --> 00:10:54,304
I am having a bad day.

271
00:10:54,373 --> 00:10:56,106
I don't feel like doing
the chitchatting.

272
00:10:56,174 --> 00:10:57,674
Not having a great day myself.

273
00:10:57,743 --> 00:10:59,042
Missed a phone call 15 years ago

274
00:10:59,111 --> 00:11:01,511
that could have launched
a second career as a magician.

275
00:11:01,580 --> 00:11:03,079
I could've had it all.

276
00:11:03,148 --> 00:11:05,282
Realtor by day, magician by night.

277
00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:07,284
Just like the hero of that rock opera
I never finished.

278
00:11:07,352 --> 00:11:09,619
Phil, this feels like the chitchatting.

279
00:11:09,688 --> 00:11:11,588
Well, I should probably get going.

280
00:11:11,657 --> 00:11:13,590
The steam's starting
to pucker up my suit.

281
00:11:13,659 --> 00:11:15,759
Whew! Done.

282
00:11:15,827 --> 00:11:17,360
It's the same suit
I wore to your wedding.

283
00:11:18,563 --> 00:11:20,296
Can't believe how loose it's gotten.

284
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:25,433
And now it is my pleasure

285
00:11:25,502 --> 00:11:28,402
to bring up the first of
our very special entertainers.

286
00:11:28,471 --> 00:11:32,440
Here to perform one song,
Cameron and Mitchell.

287
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:35,042
Just relax.

288
00:11:38,181 --> 00:11:40,148
Okay, now, remember...
it's just like karaoke.

289
00:11:40,216 --> 00:11:41,482
Yeah, yeah, I-I got it. I got it.

290
00:11:41,551 --> 00:11:43,384
Sing a little
and then throw to the drum solo.

291
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,253
Okay. Okay.

292
00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:49,123
? That old black magic ?

293
00:11:49,192 --> 00:11:52,493
? Has me in its spell ?

294
00:11:52,562 --> 00:11:56,397
? That old black magic that you ?

295
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:57,665
? Weave so well ?

296
00:11:59,536 --> 00:12:04,404
? Icy fingers up and down my spine ?

297
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:10,410
? The same old witchcraft ?
? when your eyes meet mine ?

298
00:12:10,417 --> 00:12:13,647
Take it, piano guy!

299
00:12:13,657 --> 00:12:14,715
? Be-Ba-da Ba-Ba-da-doop ?

300
00:12:14,784 --> 00:12:17,384
? Bop-da-boop Ba-da-baaa ?
? Ba-Ba-da-baa ?

301
00:12:17,497 --> 00:12:19,063
Look at him go.

302
00:12:19,132 --> 00:12:21,265
You know, he was raised a mama's boy.

303
00:12:21,334 --> 00:12:23,334
Now he's a strong, capable man

304
00:12:23,403 --> 00:12:26,037
making nonsense noises that
sound a lot like instruments.

305
00:12:26,106 --> 00:12:28,673
Let's hear that guitar weep!

306
00:12:31,578 --> 00:12:33,444
? Waah-waah-waah ?

307
00:12:33,513 --> 00:12:35,480
? Waah-waah-waah waaaaahh ?

308
00:12:35,548 --> 00:12:36,881
? Waah-whoa ?

309
00:12:36,950 --> 00:12:39,917
And there is someone
that we haven't heard from yet.

310
00:12:39,986 --> 00:12:42,887
Take a walk with me, Mr. Bass Man.

311
00:12:42,956 --> 00:12:44,589
? Bo-Bo-Bo-Bo ?

312
00:12:44,657 --> 00:12:46,390
? Bah-Bo-Bo-Bo da-bi-Bo ?

313
00:12:46,459 --> 00:12:48,893
? Bo Bo Bo ?

314
00:12:48,962 --> 00:12:51,496
? Bah-bah bah-doo-Ba ?
? Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba ?

315
00:12:51,564 --> 00:12:53,998
? Wha, wha, wha, wha ?

316
00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:55,366
? What do you do ?

317
00:12:55,435 --> 00:13:01,272
? When faced with black magic? ?

318
00:13:01,341 --> 00:13:03,207
Hey!

319
00:13:03,276 --> 00:13:05,676
Thank you! Thank you so much!

320
00:13:06,313 --> 00:13:07,736
One more time!

321
00:13:07,771 --> 00:13:10,568
Okay. Nope.

322
00:13:15,036 --> 00:13:16,536
Thank you very much.

323
00:13:16,604 --> 00:13:18,304
Uh, muy kind, pero
I know you're only doing it

324
00:13:18,373 --> 00:13:19,705
to make me feel más better.

325
00:13:19,774 --> 00:13:23,075
Wow. Somebody's been listening
to Rosetta Stone in the car.

326
00:13:23,144 --> 00:13:25,845
Cam, come on. Talk to me.

327
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:28,149
What in the skibbity doo wop was that?

328
00:13:29,953 --> 00:13:31,253
Did you bring your own studio audience?

329
00:13:31,321 --> 00:13:35,123
No. They're Gloria's family.
Unlike some people, they feel things.

330
00:13:35,309 --> 00:13:37,676
Cam, look, I'm sorry.
I got carried away.

331
00:13:37,745 --> 00:13:40,279
It seemed deliberately hurtful.
Every musician got a solo

332
00:13:40,348 --> 00:13:42,181
except the one you promised
to have and to hold.

333
00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:45,184
- Aww!
- Okay, do you mind? Thank you.

334
00:13:45,253 --> 00:13:47,686
Look, Cam, I-I'm sorry
I forgot to throw it to you,

335
00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:50,028
but I-I was just swept up in the moment.

336
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,796
It... That was... It was exhilarating.

337
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:54,332
I-I... Did you hear
those people cheering?

338
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:57,335
Well... you were brilliant.

339
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,104
Not the most generous
of performances, but...

340
00:13:59,499 --> 00:14:02,667
I was completely free in front
of my entire judgy family,

341
00:14:02,736 --> 00:14:05,603
and none of that
would have happened without you.

342
00:14:06,209 --> 00:14:07,642
Well, I think I hear
what you're saying...

343
00:14:07,711 --> 00:14:10,111
that half of that applause was mine

344
00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:11,946
- 'cause I transformed you.
- Okay.

345
00:14:12,015 --> 00:14:13,982
Well, that's better
than any 10-minute drum solo.

346
00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:15,583
So you'll tell everyone
this was my doing?

347
00:14:15,652 --> 00:14:17,685
Of course I will. Come here.

348
00:14:17,754 --> 00:14:20,788
Ooh!

349
00:14:23,059 --> 00:14:24,659
Okay, I'll spin the box two times,

350
00:14:24,728 --> 00:14:27,461
you'll have 30 seconds to change
into your wedding dress.

351
00:14:27,571 --> 00:14:30,539
Or I change into an old pair of pajamas

352
00:14:30,607 --> 00:14:32,174
to show the people how comfortable

353
00:14:32,242 --> 00:14:33,808
I have always been with Jay.

354
00:14:33,851 --> 00:14:34,883
Oh, yeah. Sure, Gloria.

355
00:14:34,952 --> 00:14:35,985
Why don't we just throw the script out

356
00:14:36,053 --> 00:14:38,120
and you can say whatever you want,
'cause the audience already thinks

357
00:14:38,189 --> 00:14:40,155
the actors make it all up anyway?!

358
00:14:40,224 --> 00:14:41,257
I'm sorry!

359
00:14:41,325 --> 00:14:42,358
What's going on?

360
00:14:42,426 --> 00:14:44,026
It's okay, Phil.

361
00:14:44,095 --> 00:14:46,128
He's very upset because 15 years ago,

362
00:14:46,197 --> 00:14:49,932
he missed a phone call
for a job to do boat magic.

363
00:14:50,001 --> 00:14:52,300
That's why you've been sulking
all afternoon?

364
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:55,426
My life would be completely different
if not for stupid fate!

365
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:56,628
Fate?

366
00:14:56,696 --> 00:15:00,298
Let me ask you something.
And there's a real lesson here.

367
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,233
Do you like how your life turned out?

368
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,401
Yeah, sure.

369
00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:06,137
Great family, steady work, bus benches?

370
00:15:06,578 --> 00:15:08,177
I got that call when you weren't home

371
00:15:08,246 --> 00:15:09,645
and never gave you the message.

372
00:15:09,714 --> 00:15:12,615
What... question mark,
exclamation point?!

373
00:15:12,684 --> 00:15:14,250
Why would you do something like that?!

374
00:15:14,319 --> 00:15:15,985
To save him from himself.

375
00:15:16,054 --> 00:15:19,288
People sometimes need a gentle nudge
to make the right choice.

376
00:15:19,357 --> 00:15:21,224
And, luckily for everyone,
I'm here to do it.

377
00:15:21,292 --> 00:15:22,692
And not just for Phil.

378
00:15:22,761 --> 00:15:24,827
I know you're wondering
why Manny isn't here.

379
00:15:24,896 --> 00:15:26,662
- I b...
- Who's ready for some magic?

380
00:15:26,731 --> 00:15:28,998
Phil, Gloria, you're up.

381
00:15:31,841 --> 00:15:33,808
- Honey, you okay?
- Nope!

382
00:15:33,877 --> 00:15:35,743
Ladies and gentlemen,

383
00:15:35,812 --> 00:15:39,347
the scientists would have you believe
that time travel is poppycock.

384
00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:42,717
But today, on the anniversary
of the wonderful Gloria

385
00:15:42,786 --> 00:15:44,318
and Jay,

386
00:15:44,685 --> 00:15:46,685
I shall confound the skeptics

387
00:15:46,754 --> 00:15:48,988
and transport this beautiful woman

388
00:15:49,056 --> 00:15:51,857
back in time to the day of her wedding.

389
00:15:51,924 --> 00:15:54,191
Gloria, get in the box!

390
00:15:55,561 --> 00:15:58,296
Drumroll, please.

391
00:16:20,852 --> 00:16:25,354
Whoo! Yes, drums! Yes!

392
00:16:25,770 --> 00:16:29,071
Anyway, watch as she disappears
into the wormhole.

393
00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:30,640
That's my trick. I'm done.

394
00:16:30,708 --> 00:16:32,942
What do you mean, you're done?
Bring her back.

395
00:16:33,011 --> 00:16:34,677
Okay, I'm ready!

396
00:16:34,746 --> 00:16:38,481
You made my dream disappear.
Now yours is gone.

397
00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:41,050
iHola! I want to come out!

398
00:16:41,105 --> 00:16:43,773
Phil. Phil, you are Dede-ing my party.

399
00:16:43,841 --> 00:16:45,374
Your father Dede'd my life.

400
00:16:45,443 --> 00:16:47,677
He's the one who got
the phone call 15 years ago

401
00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:49,245
about the magic job and never told me.

402
00:16:49,314 --> 00:16:50,546
Oh, Phil.

403
00:16:50,615 --> 00:16:52,815
Your family has always
treated me like a child

404
00:16:52,884 --> 00:16:54,083
who can't make his own decisions.

405
00:16:54,152 --> 00:16:56,152
I couldn't even make
an outfit choice for the wedding

406
00:16:56,220 --> 00:16:57,920
without your mother commenting on it.

407
00:16:57,989 --> 00:16:59,922
That's why I slipped her
those three drinks at the reception.

408
00:16:59,991 --> 00:17:02,224
It's very warm back here!

409
00:17:02,270 --> 00:17:05,271
You need to let Gloria
out of that box. And...

410
00:17:05,340 --> 00:17:07,540
my dad had nothing to do with that.

411
00:17:07,608 --> 00:17:09,675
I'm the one who told him
not to give you the message.

412
00:17:09,744 --> 00:17:11,644
Did I miss the "Ta-da"?

413
00:17:11,713 --> 00:17:14,513
Phil, I'm so sorry. But your business
was just taking off,

414
00:17:14,582 --> 00:17:16,048
- and the kids were really little.
- No, no. I-I don't want to hear it.

415
00:17:16,117 --> 00:17:18,951
My own wife is the reason I
don't have a career in magic,

416
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:21,579
a thing I was born to do?!

417
00:17:29,042 --> 00:17:30,375
Look at me!

418
00:17:30,443 --> 00:17:33,004
I haven't changed in 10 years!

419
00:17:34,147 --> 00:17:35,246
-Aaah!
-Oh!

420
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:36,681
Aah!

421
00:17:41,711 --> 00:17:43,244
Gloria!

422
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,413
You came! Thank God!

423
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,647
Not because of you.

424
00:17:46,716 --> 00:17:49,417
I couldn't enjoy my time with Denise
knowing my mother needed me.

425
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,052
I mean, I enjoyed it a little.

426
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,387
She's a dance major trying
to replace food with affection.

427
00:17:53,456 --> 00:17:54,588
I really don't care.

428
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:55,756
Gloria!

429
00:17:57,727 --> 00:17:59,026
I have a surprise for you!

430
00:17:59,095 --> 00:18:01,228
- I'm here!
- Okay.

431
00:18:01,492 --> 00:18:03,092
I was kind of expecting
a bigger reaction.

432
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,494
Yeah, I thought for sure Manny
being here would tip the scales.

433
00:18:05,563 --> 00:18:09,131
No! I don't need anyone
to do that for me!

434
00:18:09,592 --> 00:18:10,991
Just leave me alone.

435
00:18:11,060 --> 00:18:12,760
What kind of sick game
are you two playing?

436
00:18:12,828 --> 00:18:14,695
Do you have any idea
what I gave up to be here?

437
00:18:14,764 --> 00:18:16,063
What's going on with you, Gloria?

438
00:18:17,466 --> 00:18:20,134
This dress doesn't fit me anymore!

439
00:18:20,202 --> 00:18:21,669
That's it?!

440
00:18:21,737 --> 00:18:23,671
I drove all the way
to Manny's dorm for nothing?

441
00:18:23,739 --> 00:18:25,773
Oh, because you've made
the sacrifice today.

442
00:18:26,942 --> 00:18:28,309
You don't understand.

443
00:18:28,377 --> 00:18:33,280
I tell people that I work hard
to stay fit and to stay young,

444
00:18:33,349 --> 00:18:37,150
but the reality is
that I barely do anything.

445
00:18:37,293 --> 00:18:39,600
But now my body is getting...

446
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,721
- Bigger?
- How dare you!

447
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,123
But yes.

448
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:48,759
But I've always looked a certain way.

449
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:51,996
And now that I don't, then what am I?

450
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:56,033
Just a self-trained hairdresser
with a hot-sauce business.

451
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:57,501
You still have that?

452
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:02,072
Gloria, you're so much more
than how you look.

453
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,776
That's what you say to people
that are not that pretty anymore.

454
00:19:05,795 --> 00:19:07,028
Are you insane?

455
00:19:07,097 --> 00:19:09,731
You could be my age
and 30 pounds heavier,

456
00:19:09,799 --> 00:19:12,467
and you would still be
unbelievably out of my league.

457
00:19:12,536 --> 00:19:15,737
Listen, you gain a couple... who cares?

458
00:19:15,805 --> 00:19:17,739
These have been
the best 10 years of my life.

459
00:19:17,807 --> 00:19:21,609
I'm in it for every pound,
every wrinkle,

460
00:19:21,678 --> 00:19:22,944
every gray hair.

461
00:19:24,314 --> 00:19:27,081
Aww!

462
00:19:33,771 --> 00:19:35,871
Come on!

463
00:19:37,353 --> 00:19:39,119
Let's go. Get in the car.

464
00:19:39,188 --> 00:19:41,088
- Where are we going?
- Don't worry about it.

465
00:19:41,156 --> 00:19:44,091
Oh. Why should I start making
my own decisions now?

466
00:19:48,457 --> 00:19:50,757
I'm sorry I didn't tell you
about the job.

467
00:19:50,826 --> 00:19:52,492
You're just such
a "Go for it" kind of guy,

468
00:19:52,561 --> 00:19:54,194
and I love that about you,

469
00:19:54,262 --> 00:19:56,396
but in that case,
we had three little kids,

470
00:19:56,465 --> 00:19:58,498
a mortgage, and I was nervous.

471
00:19:58,574 --> 00:20:00,841
You could have at least
included me in the decision.

472
00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:02,710
You're right! You're right.

473
00:20:02,779 --> 00:20:04,745
And I know "I'm sorry"
doesn't begin to cover it.

474
00:20:04,814 --> 00:20:05,846
Why are we stopping?

475
00:20:05,915 --> 00:20:07,415
Well, our kids are grown,

476
00:20:07,483 --> 00:20:09,683
I run a company,
you've got a great day job.

477
00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:12,887
I thought maybe it was time
you picked up an old hobby.

478
00:20:12,955 --> 00:20:14,388
Are those... Uh...

479
00:20:15,558 --> 00:20:16,657
Keys to your new magic shop.

480
00:20:16,726 --> 00:20:18,659
Oh, my God!

481
00:20:20,897 --> 00:20:21,929
Go on!

482
00:20:21,998 --> 00:20:24,131
- What?!
- I know!

483
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,634
And Mister Ekshun was willing to
let it go for next to nothing.

484
00:20:26,702 --> 00:20:28,402
Which, now that I think of it,

485
00:20:28,471 --> 00:20:30,371
is probably not a great sign.

486
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,240
This is awesome!

487
00:20:33,309 --> 00:20:35,843
And "Mister Ekshun"... I just got that!

488
00:20:35,912 --> 00:20:37,945
It's kind of funny that you're making up

489
00:20:38,014 --> 00:20:39,580
for making a decision
that should have been mine

490
00:20:39,649 --> 00:20:41,515
by making another decision for me.

491
00:20:41,584 --> 00:20:43,417
?

492
00:20:43,486 --> 00:20:45,820
Do you want it or not?

493
00:20:45,888 --> 00:20:47,221
- I love you.
- I love you.

494
00:20:47,290 --> 00:20:49,423
Mwah!

495
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:50,948
Bylaws.

496
00:20:52,863 --> 00:20:55,962
? Fiz-El-ah dwee-zop ?
? beh-zong de-doy ?

497
00:20:56,031 --> 00:20:57,035
? Ske-diddly-Dee-daht ?

498
00:20:57,099 --> 00:20:58,798
? De-daht de-do! ?

499
00:20:58,867 --> 00:21:00,900
? Bow! Bam! Chow ?

500
00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:02,102
- ? Cha-cha-cha! ?

501
00:21:02,170 --> 00:21:04,104
- ? Waah-waah-waah ?
- ? Zep-za-da wah ?

502
00:21:04,172 --> 00:21:06,206
- ? Shah-waah waah-waah ?
- ? Bah-dop bah-dop waah ?

503
00:21:06,274 --> 00:21:07,974
- ? Waah-waah-waah ?
- ? Bop-Ba-dop ?

504
00:21:08,043 --> 00:21:10,010
- ? Waah-waah-waah ?
- ? Ba-dop Ba-dop waah ?

505
00:21:10,078 --> 00:21:13,097
? Diddly-bop dit-do da-Ba-da baaaa ?

506
00:21:13,122 --> 00:21:16,571
? Pa-Ra-Ba-Ra-Ba-Ra Ba-Ra-Ba-Ra ?
? Pa-pa-bar ?

507
00:21:16,596 --> 00:21:18,441
- ? Pa-Ra-Ba-Ra... ?
- It's getting late.

508
00:21:19,557 --> 00:21:20,655
Nighty night.

509
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:25,680
Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com