1
00:00:03,425 --> 00:00:06,225
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~

2
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:19,941
- This is me!
- Oh, this is mine!

3
00:00:19,942 --> 00:00:20,937
- Mine. I want that.
- Mine. Mine. Mine...

4
00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:21,728
- No, that's mine.
- Mine...

5
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:22,770
- Oh, I call Roomba.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh!

6
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,983
- Mine. Mine.
- I call Dad's flat screen!

7
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,817
I call...

8
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,568
You're both good kids,

9
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,360
and that's why I'd be happy

10
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,572
to go with either of you.

11
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,163
- Ooh! Six-foot extension cord!
- Hey, that goes with my TV!

12
00:00:33,164 --> 00:00:34,575
Oh, you rotten kids!

13
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:35,446
I saw it first!

14
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:36,702
Dad wanted me to have it.

15
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:39,123
It was one of the last things
he ever said to me.

16
00:00:39,124 --> 00:00:42,582
"Melissa, I think of you
as an extension of me.

17
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,464
"I want you to have
the six-foot extension cord

18
00:00:45,465 --> 00:00:48,047
that clearly goes with the TV."

19
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,757
I can hear him saying that.

20
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:52,008
I'm just moving out. I'm not dead!

21
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,469
To Mom, you are.

22
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,599
Oh my god, I'm the product
of a broken home.

23
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,348
First this, then I act up
in school, drop out.

24
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:02,021
All of a sudden, I'm giving happy endings
behind an Arby's

25
00:01:02,022 --> 00:01:04,980
just so I can pay for a taste
of that sweet street sleet.

26
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:07,024
Jesus, Lou. "Happy endings"?

27
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,485
Does that mean you're giving
full massages behind the Arby's?

28
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,404
Yeah. It's bad.

29
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,824
Kids, listen, the thing you need to know
about me and your Mom is

30
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:15,695
she's lost!

31
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,370
She's lost her mind, she's lost her way.

32
00:01:17,371 --> 00:01:20,326
- You have to stop her!
- MODOK, what are you telling the kids?

33
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,664
I'm comforting them!

34
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:23,625
And if you tell her
I said any of this,

35
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this'll be one of the many divorces
where it is the kids' fault.

36
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,505
MODOK, it's the movers.
They can be here tomorrow.

37
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:30,626
Will you be home before six?

38
00:01:30,650 --> 00:01:33,889
Hmm, tomorrow.
Let me pull up the ol' calendar.

39
00:01:33,890 --> 00:01:36,556
Ooh, I'm swamped.
What's next week look like?

40
00:01:36,557 --> 00:01:38,425
Uhp! Swamped. Swamp, swamp, swamp.

41
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,892
Okay, let's look at Septem...
Nope, Swamptember.

42
00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,613
And then actually in Swamptober,
I've got that big trip with the boys

43
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:44,604
to the swamp of course.

44
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,205
Uh, just tell the movers
we'll schedule something in the new year.

45
00:01:47,229 --> 00:01:48,402
MODOK, you're stalling.

46
00:01:48,403 --> 00:01:51,485
I'm not stalling!
Oh my god, what's that?

47
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:54,196
Nice, just bought myself
three more seconds in the house.

48
00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:57,028
This is starting
to really make me sad.

49
00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:59,160
Oh, sweetie, it's okay.

50
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:00,999
We'll still do things as a family.

51
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:04,206
The signing of divorce papers,
the ugly custody battle.

52
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,768
You're gonna be involved
with all of it.

53
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,044
No. Dad's CD collection.

54
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,125
Who the hell still has CDs?

55
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,380
What's a Hoobastank?

56
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,260
The Beatles of the late '90s.

57
00:02:13,261 --> 00:02:14,378
Who are the Beatles?

58
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,511
Hoobastank of the early '60s.

59
00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,309
Oh-ho-ho-ho. Okay. Alright.

60
00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:21,635
Aw, Third Eye Blind.
I can't believe you still have this.

61
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,602
We were all set to see them
at Kirby University,

62
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,103
but we missed it for some reason.

63
00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:27,922
Would have been fun.

64
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,608
You know what? Keep the CD.

65
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,238
Unfortunately, I can't part with it,

66
00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,276
so I'm going to have
to stick around as well.

67
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,319
We need to stay together for the CD.

68
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,702
I need you to pick
a date for the movers.

69
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,949
Alright, kids, I'm so sorry
I called you rotten.

70
00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:43,871
Here's the deal: I'm scared.

71
00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,312
There are a lot of changes going on,

72
00:02:45,336 --> 00:02:48,000
and I do not want to end up
at your Dad's studio apartment.

73
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,130
Why is the toaster talking to us?

74
00:02:50,131 --> 00:02:52,338
You little brats! You want a toaster?

75
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,779
Next time you two are taking a bath,

76
00:02:53,803 --> 00:02:55,630
I'm gonna jump in
and fry you all to hell.

77
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,303
Uh, we're not little kids anymore.

78
00:02:57,304 --> 00:02:59,182
We don't take baths together.

79
00:02:59,183 --> 00:03:02,139
That makes me so sad!

80
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,680
Where is the time going?

81
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:07,103
This family is falling apart!
I'm so scared!

82
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:17,199
Umm, mocha frappe for the gentleman.

83
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,447
Silence! I'm busy hacking
SHIELD's servers.

84
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:22,618
I have no time to leisurely consume
iced beverages.

85
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,249
I didn't say I didn't want it.
Hold it to my mouth while I work.

86
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:30,038
Well? Don't you want to know
why I'm hacking into SHIELD?

87
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,295
Yes, of course. Sorry.
I haven't been sleeping well.

88
00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:33,536
My phantom limb pain has been...

89
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,432
I'm hacking into SHIELD to take back
the time machine I invented

90
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:37,833
and they stole.

91
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,425
Don't you want to know
why I need the time machine?

92
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:42,950
I'm sorry. It's hard to concentrate.

93
00:03:42,951 --> 00:03:44,988
I've been on a lot of anti-depressants
since I lost my favorite arm...

94
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:46,392
Oh my god, Gary.

95
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:49,353
Keep your personal life
out of the office.

96
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,651
I'm gonna use the time machine
to fix my marriage,

97
00:03:51,652 --> 00:03:53,688
by taking my wife
to a Third Eye Blind concert

98
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,151
from 17 years ago.

99
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,652
Then she'll remember how things
used to be between us.

100
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,411
A time before I felt comfortable enough
to fart in our marital bed.

101
00:04:00,412 --> 00:04:01,827
And at her father's deathbed.

102
00:04:01,828 --> 00:04:02,985
And at his wake.

103
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,663
And during the entirety
of her tearful eulogy.

104
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:09,079
No! What's happening?

105
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,332
M-m-m-m-Modawg!

106
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:13,963
Great to see you enjoying
our new Peaceful Pause policy.

107
00:04:13,964 --> 00:04:16,842
All computers shut down
the last minute of every hour.

108
00:04:16,843 --> 00:04:19,217
A gift to all our employees.

109
00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:22,136
You dare attack MODOK's productivity?

110
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:24,307
Take a break. Stretch your legs.

111
00:04:24,308 --> 00:04:26,976
Take some time to nurture
your physical self.

112
00:04:26,977 --> 00:04:29,475
I'm in peak physical condition!

113
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:32,978
Peak condition?
More like peak of Shit Mountain.

114
00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:36,435
Shit Mountain's not real!
She made it up! You gotta believe me!

115
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,778
Ah, the Compact Disc.

116
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,819
Sometimes, because I'm your superior,

117
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,582
I forget how much older you are than me.

118
00:04:43,606 --> 00:04:45,562
_

119
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,541
_

120
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,957
Austin, answer the following questions:

121
00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,166
What was the address
of your childhood home?

122
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,085
Was your bedroom on the first floor?

123
00:04:53,086 --> 00:04:54,806
Did the window have
an easily pickable lock?

124
00:04:54,810 --> 00:04:56,650
Were you deathly allergic
to anything as a kid?

125
00:04:56,674 --> 00:04:58,381
Look at you, taking an interest.

126
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:01,182
401 East 97th Street.
Yes. Yes. And strawberries.

127
00:05:01,183 --> 00:05:03,966
I'm deathly allergic to strawberries.

128
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:08,057
You see? Bros for life
in one Peaceful Pause.

129
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:11,308
How 'bout I pop by with
some Topo Chicos in 59 minutes

130
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,731
and we do a deep dive
on Mo-daddy-doh-dawg?

131
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,948
Aha! I've located the SHIELD facility
containing my time machine.

132
00:05:19,949 --> 00:05:23,315
To obtain it, I'll have
to use my incredible mastery

133
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,783
of espionage.

134
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:28,622
Ayyy, I'm water delivery man
Dave Deepdishski.

135
00:05:28,623 --> 00:05:31,870
From Chicago.
Chitown, my town, is where I hail from.

136
00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:34,333
When I'm not chowin' down
on authentic hot beef sandwiches,

137
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,131
I'm takin' architectural boat tours

138
00:05:36,132 --> 00:05:37,798
and visiting da Sears Tower.

139
00:05:37,799 --> 00:05:41,506
And I'm Kyle I'yam.
From Columbus, Ohio, I hail.

140
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,428
First of all, it's the Willis Tower now.

141
00:05:43,429 --> 00:05:45,717
And secondly, we don't have
water coolers.

142
00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:47,121
Also, how did you get up here?

143
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,307
- Plan B: Human Projectile.
- What's human proj...

144
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,818
Cerebro, Ultimate Nullifier,

145
00:05:57,149 --> 00:06:00,649
Dr. Strange's prescription pad. Oh, rip!

146
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,029
Here it is! My time machine!

147
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,450
- Hand me that glowing purple crystal.
- What is it?

148
00:06:05,451 --> 00:06:06,949
The Celestial Chrono-Crystal,

149
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:09,240
the cosmic artifact that powers
my time machine.

150
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:11,084
By the way, I hope kids
were not in the picture

151
00:06:11,108 --> 00:06:14,121
because the crystal you're holding
is highly radioactive.

152
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,708
Definitely sterile now.

153
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,297
Your balls are completely useless.
Purely for show.

154
00:06:18,298 --> 00:06:20,045
- Ha. What?
- Ugh, enough about you

155
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,797
and the imaginary family
you'll never have.

156
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,758
Time to go save mine!

157
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:30,640
Well, I guess that's... it.

158
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:32,558
Actually, I was thinking...

159
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,599
Please, just don't make this
difficult, MODOK.

160
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:37,003
Wait, hear me out. I thought
we could take a trip together.

161
00:06:37,004 --> 00:06:38,377
Somewhere you always wanted to go.

162
00:06:38,378 --> 00:06:40,605
The flagship Bubba Gump Shrimp
in Fort Lauderdale!

163
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,028
- No.
- Bubba Gump Daytona Beach!

164
00:06:42,029 --> 00:06:43,397
- No!
- Bubba Gump Charleston?

165
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,322
No! Why are all the places
you want to go Bubba Gumps?

166
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,163
I go nuts for their rice.
It's the best rice.

167
00:06:48,187 --> 00:06:50,235
I want to take you somewhere
no one else can.

168
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,584
That Third Eye Blind concert
we missed 17 years ago,

169
00:06:52,585 --> 00:06:54,997
with this time machine I invented.

170
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,288
Yeah, no.

171
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,584
Leaping through space
and time is super complicated,

172
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,265
and I have a book signing
at Barnes & Noble

173
00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:02,430
and I want to get there
before they go out of business.

174
00:07:02,454 --> 00:07:05,337
It won't take any time at all.
Literally. It's a time machine.

175
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,512
If you'd said yes, we'd be back already.

176
00:07:07,513 --> 00:07:09,139
This feels like another stall.

177
00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:12,016
Think of it as just a civil goodbye
before we part ways.

178
00:07:12,017 --> 00:07:14,265
One last memory before our fresh start.

179
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,060
Huh.

180
00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:18,435
That is surprisingly mature of you.

181
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,774
I mean, yeah, I guess
we could try a night out.

182
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:22,605
As friends.

183
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,739
Great! Let me just punch in
the coordinates,

184
00:07:25,740 --> 00:07:28,317
which I totally know how to do, and...

185
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,834
The lease was almost up anyway.

186
00:07:32,835 --> 00:07:34,235
And...

187
00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:36,455
Boom! Science!

188
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,915
After you, my lady.

189
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,416
Why, thank you.

190
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,955
Hey, give me a quick thumbs up

191
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,381
if the hole through space/time
doesn't tear you apart atom by at...

192
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,782
Oh!

193
00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:52,263
What up, 17 years
in the past party people!

194
00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:53,664
Where's the concert?

195
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:56,143
Maybe we're early?

196
00:07:57,060 --> 00:08:00,188
Yeah.
Four years early.

197
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,269
Oh no,

198
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:04,942
we overshot Third Eye Blind
and we're in the year of Chumbawamba.

199
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,699
Stupid thing,
probably didn't account

200
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:08,905
for leap years
and daylight savings time

201
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:11,266
and the gold bangles
you shouldn't have worn into the portal

202
00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:14,039
because everyone knows
you can't wear metal into a portal.

203
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,036
Are you seriously blaming me?

204
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:19,078
Your hoverchair is
nine different kinds of metal!

205
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,542
Oh, look who's suddenly
a metallurgist!

206
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:25,093
I didn't know you were keeping track
of all the alloys in my chair.

207
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,048
Ahh!

208
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,090
Ahh!

209
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,176
Ahh! I won't touch your stuff!

210
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,678
You dare eat MODOK's ramen?

211
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,181
You obviously have a death wish.

212
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,543
I mean, seriously, you never wear
flip-flops in the showers,

213
00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:40,186
it's like you want meningitis, Tyler.

214
00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:45,068
You are but one of the many
I will crush along my path

215
00:08:45,069 --> 00:08:48,277
to self-assured greatness,
for the future is MODOK!

216
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,028
Of course I know
how to work the time machine!

217
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,659
I invented the time machine!

218
00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:53,407
- Ugh, this is...
- That's me!

219
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,988
That's my future self!
I knew I'd crack the laws of time.

220
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,541
You never believed me, Tyler!

221
00:08:57,542 --> 00:08:59,997
And you never once complimented
my hilarious poster.

222
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,918
I can't even look at it right now.

223
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:06,877
Oh, I've gotta go meet myself
and hear how I conquered the world!

224
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,340
We're stuck here, aren't we?

225
00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:12,844
I need quiet, Jodie.

226
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:17,055
My masterful computer brain
is processing incredibly complicated...

227
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,387
Oh! I put a paperclip in the little hole

228
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,674
in my time travel watchy-thing,
and something's happening!

229
00:09:21,698 --> 00:09:24,020
Are you sure we should keep
screwing with time travel?

230
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,819
I know how time travel works.

231
00:09:25,820 --> 00:09:28,856
Now quick, through the doory-door thing
before the wavy stuff closes!

232
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,861
Wait, Future Me!
I have so many questions!

233
00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:33,954
Oh crap! My favorite Teva!

234
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:41,038
Holy shit, it worked!

235
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:41,917
I mean...

236
00:09:41,918 --> 00:09:43,325
Holy shit, it worked.

237
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,501
Wow.

238
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:46,961
They sound so good live!

239
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,838
Oh, I just hope they play
my favorite song.

240
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:49,999
You know the one that's like,

241
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:53,835
yeah, girl.

242
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:55,261
You know, I can't remember

243
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,012
why we missed the concert
in the first place

244
00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:59,564
but, oh, I'm so glad
we finally made it.

245
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,904
# For letting you go #

246
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,395
# She's sneaky and smoked out #

247
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:13,414
# And it's starting to show #

248
00:10:13,415 --> 00:10:14,864
Come on, dance!

249
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,324
Me? Dance? I...

250
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:18,655
Oh, get out of that big head of yours

251
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,250
and enjoy this with me!

252
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:23,669
What are you...

253
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,169
Aw, look at you all...

254
00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:32,086
# I'll never let you turn around #

255
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,175
# Your back on each other #

256
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:36,006
# That's a good idea #

257
00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,851
Hey, let's get closer to the stage.

258
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,014
# Turn around #

259
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,845
Excuse me. 'Scuse me. Can I just...

260
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,100
Allow me.

261
00:10:44,062 --> 00:10:45,686
What a gentleman.

262
00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:47,187
I wanna do something reckless!

263
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:50,479
Okay, una, dos, tres!

264
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:52,401
You! Catch my girl or die!

265
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:55,031
And you! Bend your goddamn knees
and protect the back!

266
00:10:55,032 --> 00:10:56,820
And you! Your face is round!

267
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,383
You're supposed to wear square glasses!

268
00:10:58,407 --> 00:10:59,082
Woo!

269
00:11:00,536 --> 00:11:01,994
I... I...

270
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,355
Don't forget about Child Slaughter.

271
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,878
That's right, Child Slaughter, the band.

272
00:11:06,879 --> 00:11:08,995
With their new album,
Death by Strawberry.

273
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,420
Act now because next stop is Austin.

274
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,591
Woo! Oh, watch your hands, buddy.

275
00:11:14,931 --> 00:11:17,140
_

276
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,257
Ugh, I don't want to leave now.

277
00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:20,891
Featuring the new single

278
00:11:20,892 --> 00:11:23,639
You'll Be Back in A Minute,
She Won't Even Know.

279
00:11:23,854 --> 00:11:25,106
_

280
00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:27,147
Well, can't fight the universe.

281
00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:29,797
Woo-hoo!

282
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,239
He's up to something.
Follow him, girl!

283
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,445
Is that a song
by Child Slaughter?

284
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:39,366
No! It's an opinion! By me!

285
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,581
Enjoy your dreams, young Austin,

286
00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:48,791
for they shall be your last...

287
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:51,586
Whoa,
a red Ferrari racecar bed?

288
00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:55,007
Even in your final moments, you continue
to lord your power over me.

289
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:00,219
Wait, can I really do this?

290
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,054
Okay, pro: I stop him

291
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,764
and he never grows up
to take over AIM.

292
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,055
Con: I'm doin' a boy murder.

293
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,729
Oh, but maybe he's an evil child?

294
00:12:07,776 --> 00:12:09,029
_

295
00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:10,362
_

296
00:12:10,401 --> 00:12:11,401
_

297
00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:17,028
Synergistic paradigm,
vertical integration...

298
00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:18,738
Open wide,

299
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,989
strawberry fairy's here.

300
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:23,075
What are you doing?

301
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:26,576
Uh... this is... my friend
who said when he was younger

302
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:30,750
he wished he had woken up
with... jelly in his mouth?

303
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,335
- Oh boy.
- Austin?

304
00:12:32,336 --> 00:12:34,246
And let me guess,

305
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,922
he's allergic to jelly?

306
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:38,263
- Strawberries.
- This was a work trip?

307
00:12:38,264 --> 00:12:39,758
I was a plus one?

308
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,720
I don't know why I thought
I could expect you to...

309
00:12:41,722 --> 00:12:43,922
Please stop trying to kill him
while I'm talking to you.

310
00:12:43,946 --> 00:12:46,650
But he took my company from me!

311
00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:50,228
You disgust me.

312
00:12:50,229 --> 00:12:52,438
Jodie, look!
It's me from college!

313
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,648
Silence, you worm!

314
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:55,778
And what a rude little boy I am!

315
00:12:55,779 --> 00:12:58,316
I followed you from my time.
What a disappointment.

316
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:02,198
All my genius reduced
to a pathetic, sniveling husband

317
00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:05,287
that uses time travel to attend concerts
with some big-hipped woman

318
00:13:05,288 --> 00:13:06,695
instead of taking over the world.

319
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,750
Your youthful ignorance is laughable.

320
00:13:08,751 --> 00:13:12,247
In time, you will learn that
MODOK likes them big ol' juicy butts!

321
00:13:12,251 --> 00:13:14,131
Now give me back
my time machine!

322
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,143
We were supposed to be emperor
of a perfect world,

323
00:13:29,144 --> 00:13:31,439
not some sad dad
who answers to others.

324
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,436
I refuse to accept you as my future!

325
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,728
And I'd spank you
if you weren't myself!

326
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,266
Ah!

327
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,497
- Oh my god!
- I know.

328
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,418
Austin slept
through the entire fight.

329
00:13:53,419 --> 00:13:55,037
He's always so well-rested.

330
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,049
You just killed your younger self!

331
00:13:57,050 --> 00:13:58,754
Are you gonna be... erased?

332
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,335
No! Nooo!
My foot's starting to disappear!

333
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,138
It's indescribably painful...

334
00:14:03,139 --> 00:14:04,385
Oh, I just stepped on a Lego.

335
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,886
We must go find me in this timeline.
See if I'm still here.

336
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:09,098
It's official, we're pregnant!

337
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:09,979
Are you excited?

338
00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:11,635
How can I be excited about a birth

339
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:13,193
when I have to plan a funeral,

340
00:14:13,194 --> 00:14:14,977
for all of my dreams!

341
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:17,520
Oh, okay. Thank god.
You still exist.

342
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:20,240
The portal must've just returned
my college-aged self

343
00:14:20,241 --> 00:14:21,525
to the year he came from,

344
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,657
setting everything back
to the way it should be.

345
00:14:23,658 --> 00:14:25,065
Look! I totally forgot.

346
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:27,411
We missed the concert
because we'd just found out

347
00:14:27,412 --> 00:14:28,828
I was pregnant with Melissa.

348
00:14:28,829 --> 00:14:30,497
Not exactly your finest hour.

349
00:14:30,498 --> 00:14:33,415
No. No! No!

350
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:34,874
I want to go home.

351
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:36,835
Build another time machine
and get us out of here.

352
00:14:36,859 --> 00:14:38,252
I-I can't. It's broken.

353
00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,882
So fix it. You invented it.

354
00:14:39,883 --> 00:14:42,590
Yeah, about that. I could tell
you misheard me before.

355
00:14:42,591 --> 00:14:44,591
I never said I invented
the time machine.

356
00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:46,552
Monica invented
the time machine.

357
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,388
I said I indented
the time machine.

358
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,099
I sat on it in the lab
while Monica was, you know, inventing it.

359
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,438
So we have to find Monica
if we want to get home?

360
00:14:54,439 --> 00:14:57,556
Unless you want something indented.
And then we could do it right here.

361
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,466
Hi! Are you the judges?

362
00:15:01,490 --> 00:15:04,570
This is my project.
An instantly regenerating fruit tree.

363
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,740
I'm gonna heal
the world's hunger problem

364
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:11,786
with my big brain
and even bigger heart.

365
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:14,207
This is the girl
who makes you cry at work?

366
00:15:14,208 --> 00:15:17,416
She says mean lies about my body
that I wish weren't true.

367
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,287
Hi, yeah, uh,
we're from the future.

368
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:21,003
You built a time machine
that he broke,

369
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,424
and we need you to build another one
or we're stuck here.

370
00:15:23,425 --> 00:15:25,179
I'm so sorry, Future Lady.

371
00:15:25,180 --> 00:15:27,545
I don't know how to make
a time machine yet.

372
00:15:27,553 --> 00:15:29,973
I'm still stuck
on more rudimentary problems

373
00:15:29,974 --> 00:15:32,642
like spontaneous
organic matter genesis.

374
00:15:32,643 --> 00:15:35,188
Oh my god.
We're trapped in the past.

375
00:15:35,189 --> 00:15:37,185
Well, gee,
if you're stuck in the past,

376
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,937
you can't interact
with anyone or anything.

377
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,990
You could end up erasing everything
you care about in the future.

378
00:15:42,991 --> 00:15:46,195
Bubba Gump Shrimp...
I mean, uh, the children!

379
00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,655
Relax, I won't mess with stuff.

380
00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:49,826
By the way,
there's something wrong with your tree.

381
00:15:49,827 --> 00:15:51,615
What did you do?

382
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,827
I don't even like the taste,

383
00:15:52,828 --> 00:15:55,498
I was just curious to see
if my body was capable of defeating it.

384
00:15:55,499 --> 00:15:56,899
It was!

385
00:15:57,791 --> 00:15:59,876
Whatever this is, I hate it.

386
00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:03,006
First place goes to Billy McGirk
for his electric potato clock!

387
00:16:03,007 --> 00:16:04,835
At least review my research.

388
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,380
Billy's clock doesn't even work.

389
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:08,968
But can you imagine if it did?

390
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,049
Astonishing!

391
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:13,560
As for you, silly girl,
leave the science to the boys.

392
00:16:13,561 --> 00:16:15,557
Damn, I'm a great guidance counselor.

393
00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:18,602
Whatever this is, I hate it.

394
00:16:18,604 --> 00:16:20,404
Leave the science to the boys.

395
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:22,975
This is a nightmare.

396
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:24,780
But what if this was
a good nightmare?

397
00:16:24,781 --> 00:16:27,856
Like when you're being chased
by a wolfman, but he's got big boobs.

398
00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:29,951
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we've all had that dream. So?

399
00:16:29,952 --> 00:16:33,238
Well, I saw you at the concert,
and you seemed so carefree and unburdened.

400
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:36,291
Your scowl lines barely visible.
We could keep that feeling going.

401
00:16:36,292 --> 00:16:37,788
What are you talking about?

402
00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:39,749
We can catch up
on all the other concerts

403
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:41,709
and pop culture we missed
over the years.

404
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,420
Imagine, getting to see
Alvin and The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

405
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,800
on the big screen
the way it was meant to be.

406
00:16:46,801 --> 00:16:48,427
You don't get it, do you?

407
00:16:48,428 --> 00:16:51,465
We're never going to get to see
our kids grow up, get married...

408
00:16:52,351 --> 00:16:55,346
You know what, I would rather spend
the rest of my life

409
00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:57,179
trapped in the past alone

410
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,274
than spend another second with you.

411
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,269
Good! Because you talked
all the way through Chipwrecked,

412
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:05,024
and I missed pivotal plot points!

413
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,665
Perhaps now I'll finally understand
why Dave got so pissed at Alvin

414
00:17:07,689 --> 00:17:09,657
for eating all the peanut butter
in the first act!

415
00:17:09,658 --> 00:17:12,155
Yes, when it comes out
in just 11 short years,

416
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:13,827
MODOK will have answers!

417
00:17:15,456 --> 00:17:16,618
_

418
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:17,660
See, Jodie?

419
00:17:17,663 --> 00:17:19,291
If we weren't stranded in the past,

420
00:17:19,292 --> 00:17:22,458
we would never know how much
this cider house rules!

421
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,379
Sir, we know you've been living
in this IKEA.

422
00:17:24,380 --> 00:17:25,837
You need to leave.

423
00:17:25,838 --> 00:17:28,714
We also know there are 500 meatballs
missing from the cafeteria.

424
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,755
I'm sorry,
what does this have to do with me?

425
00:17:30,764 --> 00:17:33,314
That's clearly 500 meatballs
in the shape of a woman.

426
00:17:33,315 --> 00:17:34,637
And what a woman!

427
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:36,468
Look at her,
shedding those pounds.

428
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:37,890
Trimspa, baby!

429
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:39,531
Sir, the police will be here
any moment.

430
00:17:39,555 --> 00:17:41,185
I get it, I'm going.

431
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:43,266
Can I have a moment
to say goodbye to my wife?

432
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:49,901
Ahh, the old house.

433
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:52,113
We were so young,
and we didn't have much money.

434
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:56,739
But it was a hell of a lot more money
than I have now!

435
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:57,983
MODOK?

436
00:17:58,007 --> 00:17:59,203
Are you robbing us?

437
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:02,540
Jodie?
Holy shit, you work for NASA now?

438
00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:04,541
No, I fished this out of a dumpster.

439
00:18:04,543 --> 00:18:06,462
I live in the woods.
I eat squirrels.

440
00:18:06,463 --> 00:18:08,840
Good. So you landed
on your feet.

441
00:18:08,841 --> 00:18:10,339
I... I've been thriving too.

442
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,178
Lots of friends.
None of them meat.

443
00:18:12,179 --> 00:18:15,595
Or balls. Certainly not
a delicious combination of the two.

444
00:18:15,596 --> 00:18:17,676
- Listen, I've been thinking a lot...
- Shh!

445
00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,265
No, you need to hear this.

446
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:20,906
It turns out doing nothing
but catching up

447
00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:23,306
on years of pop culture...
is lonely...

448
00:18:23,312 --> 00:18:24,862
Will you just shut up and look!

449
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:35,615
Oh. Ohh.

450
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,122
# There's every good reason #

451
00:18:45,626 --> 00:18:47,496
# For letting you go #

452
00:18:49,213 --> 00:18:51,297
# She's sneaky and smoked out #

453
00:18:53,509 --> 00:18:55,089
# And it's starting to show #

454
00:18:56,762 --> 00:18:58,722
# I'll never let you go #

455
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:02,642
# I'll never let you go #

456
00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:06,154
# I'll never let you go #

457
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,901
# I'll never let you go #

458
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,910
# You say that I changed #

459
00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:20,309
# Maybe I did #

460
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,792
# But even if I changed #

461
00:19:25,791 --> 00:19:28,001
# What's wrong with it? #

462
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:32,213
# I'll never let you go #

463
00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:36,223
# I'll never let you go #

464
00:19:37,094 --> 00:19:39,224
# I'll never let you go #

465
00:19:40,806 --> 00:19:43,096
# I'll never let you go #

466
00:19:49,747 --> 00:19:52,228
- _
- The lease was almost up anyway.

467
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:53,634
And...

468
00:19:54,111 --> 00:19:55,901
Boom! Science!

469
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,321
After you, my lady.

470
00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:58,952
Why...

471
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,433
What's happening?

472
00:20:08,292 --> 00:20:10,672
Wait, we need to tell them
that we belong to...

473
00:20:13,422 --> 00:20:15,672
Well, that was super weird.

474
00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:17,054
What do you think
she was saying?

475
00:20:17,055 --> 00:20:19,844
- "We belong to... "
- Who cares?

476
00:20:19,845 --> 00:20:23,764
Two old squirrel-people versions of us
just jumped out of the bushes.

477
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:26,385
Seems like your time travel plans
went haywire,

478
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,521
just like I knew they would.

479
00:20:27,522 --> 00:20:29,769
Okay, no time travel,
but I have a cosmic cube...

480
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:30,771
No!

481
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:33,566
No more time travel,
no more portals,

482
00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:34,967
no more stalling.

483
00:20:35,569 --> 00:20:37,449
You just, you just need to go.

484
00:20:37,450 --> 00:20:38,816
Let me fix this.

485
00:20:38,822 --> 00:20:41,032
Let me make us
like we used to be.

486
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,450
You can't.

487
00:20:42,451 --> 00:20:44,951
We're not
those people anymore, MODOK.

488
00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:46,373
We've changed.

489
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,460
# I'll never let you go #

490
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:53,922
# I'll never let you turn around #

491
00:20:55,631 --> 00:20:57,881
# Turn around #

492
00:20:59,218 --> 00:21:02,098
# Turn around #

493
00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:07,019
Not tonight, Turkey Man.
Not tonight.

494
00:21:08,352 --> 00:21:11,354
Uh, this place is... nice?

495
00:21:11,355 --> 00:21:14,565
The duct tape holding the toilet together
happens to match the color

496
00:21:14,566 --> 00:21:16,066
of all the silverfish living in it.

497
00:21:16,068 --> 00:21:18,236
I find that very charming.

498
00:21:18,237 --> 00:21:20,777
Let's call this what it is. Bad.

499
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:21,701
Oh, it's rock bottom.

500
00:21:21,702 --> 00:21:24,408
Let's, uh, back it up to bad.

501
00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:26,949
But it's just
a temporary reversal.

502
00:21:26,954 --> 00:21:29,455
Because this is still our future.

503
00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:32,126
Aww, you got a cute little locket
of your family?

504
00:21:32,127 --> 00:21:35,125
It's not a locket,
it's a destiny pendant

505
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,754
that I got at Claire's.

506
00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:38,295
And it stores this.

507
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:41,338
Behold!
MODOK's Republic of MODOK.

508
00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:43,973
Working title.
Because it's working so well.

509
00:21:43,974 --> 00:21:45,054
Ehhh.

510
00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:47,175
It will be the capital city
of my utopia

511
00:21:47,182 --> 00:21:49,141
after I conquer the world.

512
00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:53,112
Tomorrow, the sun will rise
behind these broken vertical blinds

513
00:21:53,113 --> 00:21:54,814
and a new day will dawn.

514
00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:57,725
I shall reclaim AIM,
I shall reclaim my family,

515
00:21:57,734 --> 00:22:00,152
I shall reclaim my destiny!

516
00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:02,493
How 'bout you reclaim
my foot up your asshole!

517
00:22:02,494 --> 00:22:04,365
How dare you overhear me!

518
00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:06,075
Identify yourself, coward!

519
00:22:06,076 --> 00:22:07,535
I'm Tony in 4G!

520
00:22:07,536 --> 00:22:10,076
I'm gonna come over there
and curb stomp you, you shithead!

521
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:10,870
Where are you?

522
00:22:10,873 --> 00:22:13,332
I'm the... old Polish woman

523
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:16,085
in... 3B... tough guy!

524
00:22:16,086 --> 00:22:18,796
Yes! Tomorrow marks
the birth of MODOK 2.0!

525
00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:31,556
# I want something else #

526
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,978
# To get me through this #

527
00:22:33,979 --> 00:22:36,189
# Semi-charmed kind of life #

528
00:22:36,190 --> 00:22:38,274
# Baby, baby #

529
00:22:38,275 --> 00:22:41,485
# I want something else #

530
00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:44,946
# I'm not listening when you say #

531
00:22:44,948 --> 00:22:47,658
# Good-bye #

532
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,788
Doo doo doo! Right?
Doo doo doo doo!

533
00:22:49,789 --> 00:22:51,206
Doo doo doo!

534
00:22:56,502 --> 00:22:58,502
Finally! I made it!

535
00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:03,758
MODOK, we were supposed
to rule the world,

536
00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:05,509
but you ruined our future.

537
00:23:07,179 --> 00:23:08,929
I'm here to fix it.

538
00:23:08,931 --> 00:23:10,850
And that starts with your family.

539
00:23:10,851 --> 00:23:14,229
But first, I must learn if Dippin' Dots
has taken its rightful place

540
00:23:14,230 --> 00:23:17,478
as the ice cream
of the future.

541
00:23:17,488 --> 00:23:23,562
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~

542
00:23:23,987 --> 00:23:26,617
# There's every good reason #

543
00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:29,947
# For letting you go #

544
00:23:31,328 --> 00:23:33,788
# She's sneaky and smoked out #

545
00:23:34,748 --> 00:23:37,628
# And it's starting to show #

546
00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:41,505
# I'll never let you go #

547
00:23:42,506 --> 00:23:44,506
# I'll never let you go #

548
00:23:46,051 --> 00:23:48,641
# I'll never let you go #

549
00:23:49,763 --> 00:23:52,523
# I'll never let you go #