1 00:00:03,380 --> 00:00:07,815 www.subtitulamos.tv 2 00:00:54,016 --> 00:00:56,120 Hello? 3 00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:07,200 - Hello?! - Hello?! 4 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,280 There's an echo. 5 00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:11,846 I've just arrived. 6 00:01:11,870 --> 00:01:13,560 I've just arrived. Hold on. 7 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,960 How did my echo get here before me? 8 00:01:16,970 --> 00:01:18,680 Arlo, turn around. 9 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,000 Oh, Collie! It's you! 10 00:01:22,010 --> 00:01:25,480 I got them things you wanted for the sandwiches. 11 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,478 Do you mind if I make one now? I'm absolutely Hank Marvin. 12 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:31,792 No! You can wait until the others get here. 13 00:01:31,893 --> 00:01:33,388 What did you buy? 14 00:01:33,489 --> 00:01:37,186 Pulled pork, pressed tongue, and a hot and spicy whip. 15 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:38,980 That sounds disgusting! 16 00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:41,765 You said you wanted an S&M selection. 17 00:01:41,785 --> 00:01:43,640 I said an M&S select...! 18 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:45,781 Never mind. 19 00:02:23,613 --> 00:02:26,659 What are you doing? We're not in slow motion any more. 20 00:02:26,684 --> 00:02:28,268 Oh. Sorry. 21 00:02:28,293 --> 00:02:30,898 The boss is here. He wants help bringing the hardware in 22 00:02:30,923 --> 00:02:32,948 from the car. Oh... 23 00:02:32,973 --> 00:02:35,818 - But I've just made myself a tea! - Arlokino. 24 00:02:40,843 --> 00:02:43,218 So, if you haven't already guessed, 25 00:02:43,243 --> 00:02:45,818 it's a sort of cross between commedia dell'arte 26 00:02:45,843 --> 00:02:48,948 and a heist movie. I guess because they both use masks. 27 00:02:48,973 --> 00:02:50,988 Which is quite clever, in a way, 28 00:02:51,013 --> 00:02:53,988 but still sounds like something a drama teacher'd have a wank to. 29 00:02:54,013 --> 00:02:56,068 But, hey, it's series six, 30 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:58,539 you've got to allow for a certain artistic exhaustion. 31 00:02:58,564 --> 00:02:59,598 Columbina. 32 00:02:59,623 --> 00:03:01,958 Oh, God, here comes the subplot. 33 00:03:01,983 --> 00:03:04,669 Just stick with me on these bits and we'll get through them 34 00:03:04,694 --> 00:03:07,468 - as quickly as possible. - Columbina, you've got to help me. 35 00:03:07,493 --> 00:03:10,158 My daddy wants me to marry his friend, the Captain, 36 00:03:10,183 --> 00:03:11,988 who I've never even met. 37 00:03:12,013 --> 00:03:14,158 But I have my heart set on another. 38 00:03:14,183 --> 00:03:16,868 It's so unfair! Surely, Miss, your father has other things 39 00:03:16,893 --> 00:03:20,228 on his mind today. Like, 12 million other things. 40 00:03:20,253 --> 00:03:24,358 Because the diamonds we're stealing are worth 12 million pounds? 41 00:03:25,533 --> 00:03:27,348 Yes. That's... 42 00:03:28,923 --> 00:03:30,468 Yes. 43 00:03:30,493 --> 00:03:31,868 So, he's not going to have time 44 00:03:31,893 --> 00:03:33,748 to be thinking about marriage proposals. 45 00:03:33,773 --> 00:03:36,178 No, that's exactly why he is! 46 00:03:36,203 --> 00:03:38,388 If everything goes according to plan, 47 00:03:38,413 --> 00:03:41,268 then the Captain'll be rich beyond his wildest dreams. 48 00:03:41,293 --> 00:03:44,539 Then my father will have no need to provide a dowry for me. 49 00:03:44,564 --> 00:03:46,818 He can keep all his own earnings to himself. 50 00:03:46,843 --> 00:03:49,518 It's nearly finished. He's being driven by greed 51 00:03:49,543 --> 00:03:52,508 and not by my own wishes of who I want to marry. 52 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,178 But, Madam, what can I do? 53 00:03:54,203 --> 00:03:57,148 I am just a lowly housemaid in this organisation. 54 00:03:57,173 --> 00:04:00,178 I've written a letter to my true beloved, explaining my plight. 55 00:04:00,203 --> 00:04:03,659 Please see that he gets it before the end of the job today. 56 00:04:03,684 --> 00:04:05,718 You want me to give this letter to the Doctor's... 57 00:04:05,743 --> 00:04:08,518 Yes! Yes, please. And not a word to my father. 58 00:04:11,263 --> 00:04:14,468 I guess we're just pretending that WhatsApps and emails don't exist. 59 00:04:14,493 --> 00:04:18,108 Still, I'll give her letter to the Doctor's son, Mario. 60 00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:20,758 He's thick as shit, but fit as fuck! 61 00:04:20,783 --> 00:04:23,828 Columbina, stop Fleabaggin' and make me a cup of splosh. 62 00:04:23,853 --> 00:04:25,938 Yes, Master. Right away. 63 00:04:25,963 --> 00:04:28,789 And I wasn't Fleabagging, I was Miranda - ing. 64 00:04:28,814 --> 00:04:30,908 Such fun. Ooh! 65 00:04:32,293 --> 00:04:35,028 Careful with that, you clumsy cumwad! 66 00:04:35,053 --> 00:04:37,268 There's enough TNT in 'ere to blow both your tiny 67 00:04:37,293 --> 00:04:39,348 fucking brain cells out. 68 00:04:39,373 --> 00:04:43,628 Now, did you bring the Glock like I asked ya? 69 00:04:43,653 --> 00:04:45,078 No. 70 00:04:45,103 --> 00:04:48,618 But I did wind my watch up this morning, even though it's digital. 71 00:04:48,643 --> 00:04:50,518 No, your Glock, your pistol! 72 00:04:50,543 --> 00:04:52,188 Oh! You mean this? 73 00:04:53,623 --> 00:04:55,388 Don't point it at me. 74 00:04:55,413 --> 00:04:56,898 It's all right, safety's on. 75 00:05:01,053 --> 00:05:02,468 My bad. 76 00:05:10,053 --> 00:05:13,188 My nose tells me this is the place. 77 00:05:22,853 --> 00:05:25,158 Allow me to introduce myself. 78 00:05:25,183 --> 00:05:28,258 I am Il Capitano. 79 00:05:28,283 --> 00:05:32,338 I'm sorry that you're ill but my name's not Capitano, it's Hortensia. 80 00:05:32,363 --> 00:05:33,908 Ah, yes. 81 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:39,258 The Hor-tensia, daughter of my esteemed friend Senor Pantalone. 82 00:05:39,283 --> 00:05:42,028 But I'm sure you've heard of me by reputation. 83 00:05:42,053 --> 00:05:44,028 I am Scaramouche. 84 00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:47,708 - Scaramouche? - *Will you do the...* 85 00:05:47,733 --> 00:05:50,238 - What happened there? - We couldn't afford the copyright. 86 00:05:50,263 --> 00:05:52,258 Oh. That's a shame. 87 00:05:52,283 --> 00:05:55,308 You're the man that my father wants me to marry?! 88 00:05:55,333 --> 00:05:58,188 Un-a-til a-now I had been a-deaf to your beauty 89 00:05:58,213 --> 00:06:00,908 and blind to-a your voice, dumb to your scent 90 00:06:00,933 --> 00:06:02,679 and mute to-a your caress. 91 00:06:02,704 --> 00:06:06,868 I hope to wrong that a-right over the course of this segment. 92 00:06:06,893 --> 00:06:12,158 So, what's your role in this job, Captain? Surveillance? Security? 93 00:06:12,183 --> 00:06:16,748 I am international authority on booming. 94 00:06:16,773 --> 00:06:18,838 - Booming? - Si, si. 95 00:06:18,863 --> 00:06:22,669 Because of my booming skills, I can a-smash my way in anywhere. 96 00:06:22,694 --> 00:06:25,268 Will you excuse me? I just need the bathroom. 97 00:06:28,933 --> 00:06:31,478 Ah, she is sick with love. 98 00:06:31,503 --> 00:06:35,978 Hortensia, Hortensia, don't a-leave me on the fence-ia! 99 00:06:36,003 --> 00:06:38,178 My feelings don't a-make sense-ia. 100 00:06:38,203 --> 00:06:39,958 I hope it's not dementia. 101 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,799 Oi, Scaramouche. Ah, Senor Pantalone. 102 00:06:42,824 --> 00:06:44,698 Some gelignite here for you to take a look at. 103 00:06:44,723 --> 00:06:47,028 I have already eaten, but I thank you. 104 00:06:47,053 --> 00:06:49,198 No, it's fucking dynamite! 105 00:06:49,223 --> 00:06:50,828 Maybe a small bowl then. 106 00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:59,038 - Right, the Doctor's going to be here any minute. - How do you know? 107 00:06:59,063 --> 00:07:02,518 Because I accidentally turned over two pages of the script at once. 108 00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:05,058 Look, if you do me a favour, I'll let you have a sandwich. 109 00:07:05,083 --> 00:07:07,878 What flavour? What flavour favour? 110 00:07:07,903 --> 00:07:10,268 What flavour sandwich? Whatever you want. 111 00:07:10,293 --> 00:07:12,828 Oh... I 'd like a lovely slice of ham. 112 00:07:12,853 --> 00:07:13,988 Lean? 113 00:07:15,493 --> 00:07:17,468 I 'd like a lovely slice of ham. 114 00:07:17,493 --> 00:07:20,628 I bet you're loving this on the Cook'd and Bomb'd forum, aren't you? 115 00:07:20,653 --> 00:07:24,748 Look, just give this love letter to the Doctor's son, Mario. 116 00:07:24,773 --> 00:07:27,158 He'll know who it's from. Understand? 117 00:07:27,183 --> 00:07:29,429 The scholar says, " Plethora," and the widow says, 118 00:07:29,454 --> 00:07:31,318 "Thanks, that means a lot." 119 00:07:31,343 --> 00:07:33,958 And now he's just turned over two pages at once. 120 00:07:42,783 --> 00:07:45,318 It would appear this is the place, Mario. 121 00:07:45,343 --> 00:07:48,338 Somewhat insalubrious, yet suitably clandestine. 122 00:07:48,363 --> 00:07:51,348 The very sine qua non of a gangster's hideaway, n'est-ce pas? 123 00:07:51,373 --> 00:07:52,908 It's a shithole. 124 00:07:52,933 --> 00:07:54,038 Indeed. 125 00:07:54,063 --> 00:07:56,748 And, yet, its crepuscular corners will allow us 126 00:07:56,773 --> 00:08:00,908 to dupe the old man and his cronies with our pseudo sparklers. 127 00:08:00,933 --> 00:08:03,108 You have them still. 128 00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:08,068 - Oh, you mean the fake diamonds? - Yes, yes! Lower your voice! 129 00:08:08,093 --> 00:08:10,108 - You mean the fake diamonds? - Mario! 130 00:08:10,133 --> 00:08:12,865 - Yes, I tve shoved them down the front of my trousers. - Good. 131 00:08:12,890 --> 00:08:16,000 It's important to have a little circumspection. 132 00:08:16,025 --> 00:08:18,410 I think I might if I bend over too quickly. 133 00:08:20,345 --> 00:08:23,290 When the time is right, we will switch the bona fide jewels 134 00:08:23,315 --> 00:08:26,010 with the paste ones and no-one will be any the wiser. Capiche? 135 00:08:26,035 --> 00:08:28,770 Whatever you say, pops. As long as no-one gets hurt. 136 00:08:28,795 --> 00:08:31,710 - You know you can't stand the sight of blood. - Ah, yes. Well ceded. 137 00:08:31,735 --> 00:08:35,790 Arlokino! You made me a ham sandwich. How kind. 138 00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:37,210 Ah... 139 00:08:37,235 --> 00:08:40,120 Mm! Do we have a quorum? 140 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:41,930 I speak a little Latin, you know. 141 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,850 Oh, that reminds me - a scholar goes to a funeral 142 00:08:45,875 --> 00:08:47,720 and asks the widow... No, no, no, no. 143 00:08:47,745 --> 00:08:49,800 You've done this bit already. Excuse me. 144 00:08:51,105 --> 00:08:52,330 Oh... 145 00:08:52,355 --> 00:08:54,571 I have something for you, too, Master Mario. 146 00:08:54,596 --> 00:08:57,000 It's from the subplot, so it might not be that important. 147 00:08:57,025 --> 00:08:58,240 Oh, cool. 148 00:08:59,985 --> 00:09:02,210 It's an epistle from a secret admirer. 149 00:09:02,235 --> 00:09:04,280 Apparently you'll know who it's from. 150 00:09:18,435 --> 00:09:20,290 I think I do. 151 00:09:20,315 --> 00:09:22,290 Thanks, Arlo. 152 00:09:22,315 --> 00:09:25,080 All right. Gentlemen, ladies, gather round. 153 00:09:25,105 --> 00:09:28,000 Grab yourselves a seat. We need to get on with the briefing. 154 00:10:38,785 --> 00:10:40,240 Please. 155 00:10:41,385 --> 00:10:42,800 Continue. 156 00:10:45,515 --> 00:10:49,130 Right. Now, you all know your roles, but, for the benefit of them 157 00:10:49,155 --> 00:10:51,720 who are watching on BBC Two, I'm going to go through it again. 158 00:10:51,745 --> 00:10:53,600 And I player. What? 159 00:10:53,625 --> 00:10:56,441 Some people could be watching on I Player. 160 00:10:56,466 --> 00:11:00,160 All right. For them what are watching on any BBC platform... 161 00:11:00,185 --> 00:11:02,980 Or in other countries, doesn't have to be BBC. 162 00:11:03,005 --> 00:11:06,451 They have it in Spain, don't they? Oh, yeah. Spain, Australia. 163 00:11:06,476 --> 00:11:09,090 It's very big in China, apparently. All right, for fuck's sake! 164 00:11:09,115 --> 00:11:12,290 Wherever people are watching it, we need to do a recap! 165 00:11:12,315 --> 00:11:16,800 Now, the van with the diamonds leaves Hatton Garden roundabout 166 00:11:16,825 --> 00:11:20,210 at 3pm precisely... 167 00:11:20,235 --> 00:11:24,290 and heads down Greville Street towards Farringdon. 168 00:11:24,315 --> 00:11:27,770 Mario, Scaramouche, you pull the barrier across 169 00:11:27,795 --> 00:11:29,780 just west of Saffron Hill. 170 00:11:29,805 --> 00:11:32,650 Er, you're aware of the CCTV... 171 00:11:32,675 --> 00:11:34,600 Si, si. TV. 172 00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:38,290 Now, you understand where it extends to. 173 00:11:38,315 --> 00:11:41,930 It extends into the kitchen, but the reception is not-a so good. 174 00:11:41,955 --> 00:11:45,200 Oh Jesus! Mario, you know about the CCTV, don't ya? 175 00:11:45,225 --> 00:11:46,970 Sure. Good. 176 00:11:46,995 --> 00:11:49,860 Itts like CBeebies, but slightly more complicated programmes. 177 00:11:50,825 --> 00:11:53,441 What? I'm not sure the Chinese are going to get that reference. 178 00:11:53,466 --> 00:11:55,500 You need to say something like... 179 00:11:57,555 --> 00:12:00,370 - It's pretty universal... - Shut the fuck up the lot of ya! 180 00:12:02,035 --> 00:12:05,490 I will not stand here and be made to look like a prick! 181 00:12:10,515 --> 00:12:12,050 You think I'm joking? 182 00:12:13,476 --> 00:12:15,210 Boss! 183 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,930 Can I suggest we do a montage? 184 00:12:20,105 --> 00:12:21,701 Yes. 185 00:12:21,726 --> 00:12:24,640 Yes. Thank you, Columbina. 186 00:12:24,665 --> 00:12:26,331 Finally, someone talking sense. 187 00:12:28,545 --> 00:12:30,441 You can do the voiceover. 188 00:12:32,235 --> 00:12:36,930 At 3:02, the van, driven by a single security guard, 189 00:12:36,955 --> 00:12:40,240 parks up outside Mugshots Coffee shop. 190 00:12:40,265 --> 00:12:44,210 The guard gets out as usual to order a flat white. 191 00:12:44,235 --> 00:12:45,650 COFFEE MACHl NE HISSES 192 00:12:45,675 --> 00:12:48,060 Hortensia is behind him in the queue 193 00:12:48,085 --> 00:12:50,850 and bumps into the guard, creating a distraction. 194 00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:52,880 So I can swap his coffee... 195 00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:54,730 for the drugged one. 196 00:12:57,625 --> 00:13:00,850 Meanwhile, Mario and the Captain have closed the road 197 00:13:00,875 --> 00:13:04,480 for an electrical repair, keeping the area free of traffic. 198 00:13:05,905 --> 00:13:07,960 Arlo distracts the driver... 199 00:13:09,476 --> 00:13:13,321 while Scaramouche applies the explosives to the top of the van. 200 00:13:16,606 --> 00:13:20,240 The guard takes his first sip of coffee while we get into position. 201 00:13:21,356 --> 00:13:23,130 Then, five seconds later... 202 00:13:39,476 --> 00:13:42,610 You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! 203 00:13:42,635 --> 00:13:46,130 Sorry, I've always wanted to say that. Carry on. 204 00:13:46,155 --> 00:13:49,040 Pantalone grabs the keys from the drowsy guard 205 00:13:49,065 --> 00:13:53,040 and takes the briefcase with the diamonds from the van. 206 00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:57,880 Mario and Scaramouche head down the manhole into the sewers. 207 00:13:57,905 --> 00:14:00,571 I pick up the boss in the getaway car. 208 00:14:00,596 --> 00:14:04,240 We all meet back here at 6pm and share the spoils. 209 00:14:07,195 --> 00:14:10,010 See? Piece of piss. Anything from the subplot? 210 00:14:10,035 --> 00:14:13,490 No. I think we're all good on that front, Daddy. 211 00:14:13,515 --> 00:14:15,210 Yeah, all good. 212 00:14:16,346 --> 00:14:18,610 Bene, good. 213 00:14:18,635 --> 00:14:20,930 Right, you've got 20 minutes to get your shit together. 214 00:14:22,525 --> 00:14:25,850 Erm, boss, is it all right if I make a sandwich first? 215 00:14:25,875 --> 00:14:28,210 No! Fuck off! Should've eaten before we got here. 216 00:14:33,065 --> 00:14:35,140 Are you ready for the twist? 217 00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:37,140 There's a good one. 218 00:14:41,065 --> 00:14:43,850 Guv, it's Detective Sergeant Janus. 219 00:14:43,875 --> 00:14:46,250 We're just about to leave the hideaway. 220 00:14:46,275 --> 00:14:48,250 Put all units on standby. 221 00:14:48,275 --> 00:14:51,331 No, I don't think they suspect a thing. 222 00:15:01,425 --> 00:15:03,220 Let's get him sat down. 223 00:15:03,245 --> 00:15:06,600 - Did anyone see where the boss went? - I assume he's with Hortensia. 224 00:15:06,625 --> 00:15:08,720 - Why didn't you wait for 'em? - I panic! 225 00:15:08,745 --> 00:15:11,451 There were polices everywhere! I get you a drink. 226 00:15:11,476 --> 00:15:14,400 - No, no! Make me a cheese sandwich. - Caerphilly? 227 00:15:14,425 --> 00:15:16,461 Yeah, use a blunt knife. Go! 228 00:15:19,195 --> 00:15:20,451 Come on. 229 00:15:20,476 --> 00:15:22,490 Argh, argh! 230 00:15:22,515 --> 00:15:24,370 Oh, fuck. What happened? 231 00:15:24,395 --> 00:15:27,250 It was an ambush. They knew we were coming. 232 00:15:27,275 --> 00:15:28,970 We must have a rat in the group. 233 00:15:30,395 --> 00:15:32,230 - Bob Geldof? - No. 234 00:15:32,255 --> 00:15:34,520 I mean somebody from the police. 235 00:15:34,545 --> 00:15:36,290 - Gordon Sumner? - Who? 236 00:15:36,315 --> 00:15:39,610 - Roger Daltrey? - No, they blew our cover. 237 00:15:39,635 --> 00:15:42,600 A double crosser. Argh! What you doing?! 238 00:15:42,625 --> 00:15:44,600 - Taking your shoe off. You've been shot. - No! 239 00:15:44,625 --> 00:15:47,581 I need a sandwich first. I'm famished! 240 00:15:47,606 --> 00:15:49,940 - Scaramouche, Scaramouche! - ? Will you do the... ? 241 00:15:49,965 --> 00:15:52,170 - No! We're not allowed. - What? Oh, sorry. 242 00:15:52,195 --> 00:15:53,880 Where's that sandwich?! 243 00:15:53,905 --> 00:15:55,610 There is no cheese! 244 00:15:55,635 --> 00:15:58,650 - I can offer you a beef a-rap. - Yeah, go on. 245 00:15:58,675 --> 00:16:01,020 ? Yo, yo, I come from a cow 246 00:16:01,045 --> 00:16:03,451 ? I got lots of prize for my bolognese! ? 247 00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:09,040 I'll give him a hand. 248 00:16:12,425 --> 00:16:13,860 Listen, I got your letter. 249 00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:16,650 - I want you to know I feel exactly the same way. - You do? 250 00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:19,170 I do, yes. The uniform, the moustache. 251 00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:21,860 - Always dreamed of having a daddy like you. - You have? 252 00:16:21,885 --> 00:16:24,530 Look, I've got something down here that means that you and I, 253 00:16:24,555 --> 00:16:27,810 - we could run off together. - Ah, he must mean the explosives. 254 00:16:27,835 --> 00:16:31,890 Mario, I will a-use your bomb, but only when the time is right. 255 00:16:31,915 --> 00:16:35,120 When Senor Pantalone gets here, then we will blow. 256 00:16:35,145 --> 00:16:37,050 - You mean a three-way? - Si, si. 257 00:16:37,075 --> 00:16:40,740 The passage will be tight, but I think we can manage it. 258 00:16:40,765 --> 00:16:43,040 Good God, I'm so hard right now! 259 00:16:49,125 --> 00:16:52,050 We could do with more a-men like a-him in the military. 260 00:16:58,356 --> 00:17:00,400 Pops! 261 00:17:00,425 --> 00:17:02,380 Oh, Mario. Deo gratias. 262 00:17:02,405 --> 00:17:04,410 - Are you unharmed? - I'm fine. Not a scratch on me. 263 00:17:04,435 --> 00:17:06,610 - What happened to you? - We managed to grab the diamonds 264 00:17:06,635 --> 00:17:10,120 before the shooting started and made a run for it. How's Arlo? 265 00:17:10,145 --> 00:17:13,201 Not good. Pops, you'd better have a look at him. 266 00:17:13,226 --> 00:17:16,201 All right. But I don't have all my kit with me 267 00:17:16,226 --> 00:17:19,050 and you know I'm not good with the sight of bloo... 268 00:17:24,195 --> 00:17:26,331 Bit of a drawback for a doctor. 269 00:17:26,356 --> 00:17:27,980 Sorry. 270 00:17:35,606 --> 00:17:37,250 How are you feeling? 271 00:17:37,275 --> 00:17:39,810 Hungry. Oh... 272 00:17:39,835 --> 00:17:42,050 You're always hungry. 273 00:17:42,075 --> 00:17:43,650 How's your foot? 274 00:17:43,675 --> 00:17:47,130 Well, the first little piggy's still at the market, 275 00:17:47,155 --> 00:17:50,650 but I think all the other little piggy's have pissed off. 276 00:17:50,675 --> 00:17:54,100 I'm not going to get that trial for Crystal Palace now, am I? 277 00:17:54,125 --> 00:17:56,940 I'm sure Millwall would take you. 278 00:17:56,965 --> 00:17:58,940 What happened? 279 00:17:58,965 --> 00:18:00,530 It's a blur. 280 00:18:00,555 --> 00:18:02,480 I was doing my distracting. 281 00:18:02,505 --> 00:18:06,050 The guard comes back with his coffee, and, suddenly, I turn around 282 00:18:06,075 --> 00:18:08,721 and there's two dozen coppers behind me. 283 00:18:08,746 --> 00:18:11,001 I think I shot myself in the foot. 284 00:18:11,026 --> 00:18:13,251 I'm sure it wasn't your fault. 285 00:18:13,276 --> 00:18:16,891 No, I mean, I literally shot myself in the foot. 286 00:18:16,916 --> 00:18:19,241 I didn't realise the safety was off. 287 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,322 I'm such an idiot! 288 00:18:21,347 --> 00:18:24,561 - I'm scared, Collie! - You'll live. 289 00:18:24,586 --> 00:18:26,161 How do you know? 290 00:18:27,696 --> 00:18:30,961 Because I turned over two pages of the script at once. 291 00:18:33,556 --> 00:18:35,161 Ah, thank you. 292 00:18:35,186 --> 00:18:36,641 I'm fine now. 293 00:18:38,066 --> 00:18:40,761 Mario, the gems are in here, 294 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,841 but the servant girl has the key in her bumbag. 295 00:18:43,866 --> 00:18:47,202 You'll need to extricate it from her post-haste to facilitate 296 00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,681 - the substitution. - How am I supposed to do that? 297 00:18:49,706 --> 00:18:53,312 Well, flirt with her a little. Vanquish her with your virility. 298 00:18:53,337 --> 00:18:56,681 Then see if you can force your fingers into her fanny pack. 299 00:18:56,706 --> 00:18:59,811 Quickly! We need this money, Mario. 300 00:18:59,836 --> 00:19:01,391 Tempus fugit! 301 00:19:04,756 --> 00:19:07,601 How is the pat-it-ient? 302 00:19:07,626 --> 00:19:10,921 - Sorry? - Young Arlokino, he has a very bad injury. 303 00:19:10,946 --> 00:19:13,761 Oh, er, I haven't examined him yet. 304 00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,401 To be honest, Captain, I'm a little haemophobic. 305 00:19:16,426 --> 00:19:19,371 Oh, do not worry. I do not think he is a Queen Mary. 306 00:19:19,396 --> 00:19:22,322 Erm, I'm making a sandwich, would you like a-one? 307 00:19:26,796 --> 00:19:28,371 Oh, dear. 308 00:19:28,396 --> 00:19:30,751 It's OK, it's OK. 309 00:19:31,986 --> 00:19:34,241 It's OK. 310 00:19:34,266 --> 00:19:36,761 Did you see the Master and Hortensia? 311 00:19:36,786 --> 00:19:39,161 No. I was inside the van. 312 00:19:39,186 --> 00:19:42,401 - I heard him, though. - He thinks we were betrayed. 313 00:19:42,426 --> 00:19:44,371 Someone ratted us out. 314 00:19:44,396 --> 00:19:46,371 - Does he know who? - No. 315 00:19:46,396 --> 00:19:49,401 He said Hortensia had been acting all weird recently. 316 00:19:49,426 --> 00:19:51,161 Very secretive. 317 00:19:51,186 --> 00:19:53,452 That's because she doesn't want to marry Scaramouche. 318 00:19:53,477 --> 00:19:55,401 She's planning on running away with... 319 00:19:57,066 --> 00:19:58,831 Hey, babe. 320 00:19:58,856 --> 00:20:01,601 Would you have an inhaler? Because you are just taking my breath... 321 00:20:01,626 --> 00:20:02,841 Yeah. 322 00:20:02,866 --> 00:20:04,691 I tve got one in here. 323 00:20:04,716 --> 00:20:07,241 Just put it back when youtre finished. I tll leave the zip open. 324 00:20:07,266 --> 00:20:08,561 Thanks. 325 00:20:09,786 --> 00:20:11,202 It's OK. 326 00:20:13,576 --> 00:20:15,281 That was easy. 327 00:20:20,347 --> 00:20:22,631 Baby, what're you doing to my Pops? 328 00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:24,601 I'm trying to make him come to. 329 00:20:24,626 --> 00:20:26,401 You're going about it in a very funny way. 330 00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,631 Go find the smelling salts. They're in his bag. 331 00:21:46,296 --> 00:21:48,001 What happened? 332 00:21:49,347 --> 00:21:52,202 She's gone - forever. 333 00:21:52,227 --> 00:21:54,438 - Are you sure? - I know when one is dead, and when one lives! 334 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,641 Lear. 335 00:21:55,666 --> 00:21:57,192 It's true. 336 00:21:57,217 --> 00:22:00,401 That spineless shit Scaramouche left us right there 337 00:22:00,426 --> 00:22:02,801 in the middle of the fucking feds! 338 00:22:02,826 --> 00:22:04,841 We were like sitting ducks. 339 00:22:04,866 --> 00:22:06,561 Where is he? 340 00:22:06,586 --> 00:22:09,041 I'll slice the nose right off his craven face! 341 00:22:09,066 --> 00:22:12,072 - Where is he?! - He went to get some smelling salts for my Pops. 342 00:22:13,306 --> 00:22:15,011 Jesus, what a shitshow. 343 00:22:17,357 --> 00:22:20,921 Columbina, come here. 344 00:22:20,946 --> 00:22:23,001 You're the only one I trust. 345 00:22:28,227 --> 00:22:30,251 You tell me. 346 00:22:32,746 --> 00:22:35,001 Who's the snake here, eh? 347 00:22:35,026 --> 00:22:36,931 Eh? Who? 348 00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:38,971 Who tipped off the Old Bill? 349 00:22:38,996 --> 00:22:41,361 I dunno, er... 350 00:22:41,386 --> 00:22:43,332 Maybe it was, erm... 351 00:23:04,586 --> 00:23:06,251 You're with me now. 352 00:23:07,316 --> 00:23:10,082 Boss, what did you do that for? 353 00:23:10,107 --> 00:23:12,001 She's an undercover copper. 354 00:23:12,026 --> 00:23:13,531 She's wearing a wire. 355 00:23:13,556 --> 00:23:16,441 - Check it out if you don't believe me. - How did you know? 356 00:23:16,466 --> 00:23:19,131 Hortensia saw her fiddling with it in the bogs. 357 00:23:19,156 --> 00:23:21,611 I should've known she was too good to be true. 358 00:23:21,636 --> 00:23:24,181 No, not... not Collie. I... I don't believe it. 359 00:23:24,206 --> 00:23:26,891 Yeah. By my estimates, we have less than five minutes 360 00:23:26,916 --> 00:23:28,881 before the Filth get here. 361 00:23:28,906 --> 00:23:30,441 Where's that coward? 362 00:23:30,466 --> 00:23:32,921 Scaramouche? Scaramouche! 363 00:23:32,946 --> 00:23:34,771 ? Will you do the... ? 364 00:23:34,796 --> 00:23:36,251 Oh, shit! 365 00:23:42,026 --> 00:23:44,891 See what you've done? To your own intended? 366 00:23:44,916 --> 00:23:46,971 Hortensia... 367 00:23:46,996 --> 00:23:48,401 Oh... 368 00:23:48,426 --> 00:23:51,281 Oh, my Hortensia! 369 00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:55,361 I wished to woo you, but now my woo has turned to woe. 370 00:23:55,386 --> 00:23:58,921 I beg that I could a -take your place up in heaven! 371 00:24:00,107 --> 00:24:01,332 That can be arranged. 372 00:24:01,357 --> 00:24:03,291 Baby, why are you talking like this? 373 00:24:03,316 --> 00:24:06,361 - I thought you had eyes only for me. - For you? What you on about? 374 00:24:06,386 --> 00:24:09,332 He wrote me a letter. The subplot. Arlokino gave it to me. 375 00:24:13,946 --> 00:24:15,611 This is my daughter's hand. 376 00:24:15,636 --> 00:24:19,611 No, that is a letter. This is your daughterts hand! 377 00:24:19,636 --> 00:24:22,851 She was going to elope with a blockhead like you?! 378 00:24:22,876 --> 00:24:24,771 What are you talking about? I barely knew her. 379 00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:27,721 You two a -timing floozy! Take a -that! 380 00:24:27,746 --> 00:24:29,131 It wasn't him! 381 00:24:33,286 --> 00:24:35,001 It was me. 382 00:24:36,227 --> 00:24:39,441 Horsey and I have been having an affair for several months. 383 00:24:39,466 --> 00:24:42,121 It was an amour fou. 384 00:24:42,146 --> 00:24:44,901 It started on that business trip we took to Italy. 385 00:24:44,926 --> 00:24:46,641 Genoa? 386 00:24:46,666 --> 00:24:48,332 Yes, since she was a little girl. 387 00:24:49,726 --> 00:24:52,721 We flew back together to the United States. 388 00:24:52,746 --> 00:24:55,251 Chicago? No, she was a passenger. 389 00:24:56,237 --> 00:24:59,691 And, when we landed at the airport, I can't remember which one... 390 00:24:59,716 --> 00:25:01,202 Alaska? 391 00:25:01,227 --> 00:25:03,571 There's no point now. She's dead. 392 00:25:03,596 --> 00:25:07,082 We hatched this plan to steal the diamonds from you 393 00:25:07,107 --> 00:25:09,971 and run away together to the Caribbean. 394 00:25:11,436 --> 00:25:12,891 Trinidad and Tobago? 395 00:25:13,916 --> 00:25:15,212 Yes. 396 00:25:16,306 --> 00:25:18,801 But now it seems it was all for nought. 397 00:25:18,826 --> 00:25:21,851 We have been caught in flagrante delicto, 398 00:25:21,876 --> 00:25:23,411 and my beloved is dead. 399 00:25:24,516 --> 00:25:26,691 Mea culpa, gentle one. 400 00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:33,571 Well, maybe we can get back to the A plot now we've had this 401 00:25:33,596 --> 00:25:36,011 little diversion. I need you to hand over that case. 402 00:25:36,036 --> 00:25:38,202 No, Pantalone. 403 00:25:38,227 --> 00:25:40,001 - I won't do it. - Pops... 404 00:25:40,026 --> 00:25:42,161 These diamonds are all my son and I have. 405 00:25:42,186 --> 00:25:44,881 They will ensure our safe passage out of here. 406 00:25:44,906 --> 00:25:46,921 Quid pro quo, et cetera. 407 00:25:46,946 --> 00:25:49,051 I... I won't waste you here, Doc. 408 00:25:49,076 --> 00:25:51,931 I'll not shit on my own doorstep, but I need you to hand me 409 00:25:51,956 --> 00:25:53,931 the fucking ice! It's fine. 410 00:25:53,956 --> 00:25:56,141 Do it. Nil desperandum, Mario. 411 00:25:56,166 --> 00:25:58,731 I can handle the negotiation. 412 00:25:58,756 --> 00:26:00,881 This is not a negotiation. 413 00:26:00,906 --> 00:26:03,051 Stop. 414 00:26:03,076 --> 00:26:05,971 You lay a finger on him and I 'll carpet the floor with your brains. 415 00:26:05,996 --> 00:26:08,212 It's a good thing we're not using your brains. 416 00:26:08,237 --> 00:26:10,212 There'd be barely enough for a fucking doormat. 417 00:26:10,237 --> 00:26:11,771 Scaramouche! 418 00:26:11,796 --> 00:26:15,241 Tame this little bitch of yours, will ya? please. 419 00:26:15,266 --> 00:26:18,332 Your family jewels belong in Senor Pantalonets hands, 420 00:26:18,357 --> 00:26:20,361 not in your papats. 421 00:26:20,386 --> 00:26:22,167 Let us not come to blows. 422 00:26:22,192 --> 00:26:24,297 Oh, Captain, my Captain. 423 00:26:24,322 --> 00:26:27,167 I've dreamed of having your weapon in my face, 424 00:26:27,192 --> 00:26:28,676 but not like this. 425 00:26:28,701 --> 00:26:30,562 Et tu, Scaramouche. 426 00:26:30,587 --> 00:26:32,162 Very well. 427 00:26:32,187 --> 00:26:34,622 Aut neca aut necare. 428 00:26:34,647 --> 00:26:36,522 Do or die. 429 00:26:36,547 --> 00:26:38,502 Give me the case! 430 00:26:38,527 --> 00:26:40,692 - Give it to him, Pops. - Are you sure? 431 00:26:40,717 --> 00:26:43,052 Yes, let him have it! 432 00:26:49,238 --> 00:26:52,333 Well, Arlo, this looks like arrivederci. 433 00:26:56,077 --> 00:26:58,083 I would take you with me, 434 00:26:58,108 --> 00:27:01,002 but, as you can see, got me hands full. 435 00:27:02,317 --> 00:27:04,736 There's a boat out the back if you want to take your chance on the river. 436 00:27:04,837 --> 00:27:07,522 I've got an appointment with my fence. 437 00:27:07,547 --> 00:27:10,802 Boss, can you do me a favour before you go? 438 00:27:10,827 --> 00:27:12,362 What's that? 439 00:27:12,387 --> 00:27:15,492 Can you make me a sandwich? I'm starved! 440 00:27:15,517 --> 00:27:17,452 Yeah, here y'are. 441 00:27:17,477 --> 00:27:19,083 Help yourself. 442 00:27:20,717 --> 00:27:22,292 Ta-ta! 443 00:27:32,157 --> 00:27:34,692 Come on. Get up, he's gone! 444 00:27:34,717 --> 00:27:36,852 Come on! Collie! 445 00:27:36,877 --> 00:27:39,052 Come on, girl! 446 00:27:39,077 --> 00:27:40,802 You read the script. 447 00:27:42,807 --> 00:27:45,213 Well, none of this has been real, has it? 448 00:28:00,747 --> 00:28:03,012 Argh, argh... 449 00:28:06,677 --> 00:28:09,062 After all that, 450 00:28:09,087 --> 00:28:11,412 there's nothing left. 451 00:28:11,437 --> 00:28:14,142 Just a hot and spicy whip 452 00:28:14,167 --> 00:28:16,242 and a bag of clear mints. 453 00:28:29,357 --> 00:28:31,242 Wel? fuck my old boots! 454 00:28:32,527 --> 00:28:35,412 I am going to be able to feed myself after all. 455 00:28:42,597 --> 00:28:44,223 Are you coming, Echo? 456 00:28:54,020 --> 00:28:55,840 I thought you'd never ask! 457 00:29:01,205 --> 00:29:07,725 www.subtitulamos.tv