_
- _ - They're coming to get you, Barbara.
Tie you up and feed you to those things.
- _ - It's 8 o'clock and it's still moving.
- _ - Hey, come on, Barb,
church was this morning, huh?
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com
_
Wow.
Rock and roll.
_
I'm in the movie.
It works.
There it is. The crate from the movie.
And this... this is the monster.
I can hear him.
Not yet, you're not ready.
- You gotta wait 'til your scene. - I'll be damned.
I can hear it. It's so real. This is cra...
Can I be of any assistance?
You're Christopher Lee.
Oh my God, you're Christopher Lee.
You're Dracula.
Not just Dracula, you're Frankenstein, the Mummy,
you're Saruman.
But not in this. Not in this movie.
This movie, you are Professor Alexander Saxton.
And this... this is yours.
It is, but I demand an explanation.
Okay, well, this crate is yours.
And the monster's inside it.
And he just killed this dude.
I just saw it happen.
See? Dead.
Sorry.
Inspector Mirov.
What is in there, Excellency?
Fossils.
Mm, yeah, fossils. Yeah, you wish, pal.
I mean, yes. Yes, it's a mystery.
What is a fossil?
A stone.
There wouldn't be something valuable in there, like gold?
Oh, it's valuable.
It's not gold, trust me.
You're in for a surprise.
Inspector Mirov, I love this.
I wanna bring this back.
You look like a hipster in Brooklyn.
Gold? It's...
A laboratory specimen.
No value to it.
- Captain? - Yes, sir.
You get your men to put the crate on the train.
It's... it's Christopher Lee.
Oh God. I did it.
It works.
Lift it up.
Off you go.
You look the same.
No offense, I actually never noticed you in the movie,
but I remember you.
You look the same.
Follow me.
Oh my God.
It works.
I'm gonna be rich.
Oh! Oh my God.
Renee! Renee!
I'm out here, honey.
It works!
I did it, it works!
The Immersopod, my invention.
- It works? - It works.
- Show me. - Okay, come on.
Come on. Come on.
Oh, you're pulling.
Honey, I'm wearing heels, stop. By the pool.
Okay, okay, okay. Come on, come on.
You gotta close your eyes.
No, no, uh, okay, okay. Close 'em, close 'em.
- Honey. - Okay, okay.
I give you the Immersopod.
The world's first VR immersion home theater system.
VR, virtual reality.
Right, yes, okay.
I read a book by a man named William Gibson.
I know, just listen.
Okay, so check it out.
So, hundreds of miniature cameras scan the user's body and
feed the information through a series of hard drives,
which can then be merged with any preexisting data.
It's brilliant, honey.
- No. - No?
No, that's not the brilliant part.
You know what? Try it, just get in. Get in.
No, no, no, it looks cramped.
I mean, can you even move around in there?
No, you can't. You can only really move your thumb,
but that's all you need. You turn it on, you turn it off.
No, I don't think so, honey. I get so claustrophobic.
But... but... see, you'll think you're moving.
It's like when you dream.
If you dream you're running, you don't really run anywhere,
but you believe that you're running.
The pod works the same way.
The scans are fed through a neural transmitter.
You imagine the move, and in the VR, you move.
That's the brilliant part.
- Wonderful, right. - Yeah,
but instead of moving in a dream,
you're moving inside of a movie.
Right, whatever your favorite movie is.
"The Godfather," "Jaws."
If it's in the hard drive, you can be in it.
Which movie are you in?
"Horror Express," of course.
- I should have known. - Yeah.
It was the first movie that my dad took me to that wasn't,
you know, like a kids' movie.
Uh, it just blew me away.
It's got everything.
Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, a monster.
I fell head over heels in love with...
the whole movie. Everything.
See, what this really is is an escape pod from life.
All those people out there, just waking up,
desperate for a way out.
They hate their jobs, their home life is a prison.
All those poor slobs drinking beer in front of the TV,
desperate, trapped in a dead end...
Dead end what?
Huh?
You just said, "Trapped in a dead end."
What?
It's a situation, anything.
But see now, they won't just watch TV,
now they can actually crawl inside it and escape!
You have to try it.
I don't... I don't want to.
I don't want to.
How could you not want to?
Maybe I'm not desperate for a way out, Simon.
Maybe I don't feel trapped in a situation.
Or am I?
What?
What was that?
What was what?
Um, did... did I do something to upset you?
Did you even hear the words coming out of your mouth?
Is that why you invented that thing?
To escape your terrible life?
- Am I really that awful? - No.
You're reading into this.
No, no.
Are you sure?
Simon, we've been married for barely a year.
And you have spent every moment working on that thing.
We don't go anywhere, we don't do anything.
We live in the same house, and I never see you.
But it's for... it's for you.
I mean, it's for us.
That thing is... Renee, how... how could you think that...
Look at me.
Hey, look at me, come on.
When I asked your father for permission to marry you,
remember what he said?
He said no.
That's right, yeah, I know, he said no.
But I didn't let that stop me, did I?
I went to work on him.
And he still said no.
Yeah.
And he hasn't forgiven me for that, and he won't ever.
I know him.
I...
He said that you didn't have any money,
so you were marrying me for mine.
He said that I would never really know if you love me and
that somewhere in the back of my mind, I would always wonder.
And I get it, I'm not that pretty, I'm not that exciting,
- but I am rich. - Stop.
He said, "Renee, he's going to take your money and make you
look like a fool."
Do not make me look like a fool.
Listen to me.
I said it on our wedding day, and I will say it again now.
And I mean every word.
For richer or poorer, to love and to cherish
'til death do us part.
Do you mean it, honestly?
'Til death do us part?
Honey, 'til death do us part.
I mean it.
Baggage man?
Alucca, what's the matter with you?
Yes, Countess?
You have a safe for valuables?
Yes, Countess.
I shall make out a receipt.
Countess.
I can't believe I'm finally meeting you.
Alucca's afraid of something.
Oh, I promise you I'm not that frightening.
I'm a dog lover.
A friend of mine was gonna buy one.
I said, "Adopt, don't shop."
Normally she likes Englishmen.
All we Poles do.
Oh, England.
Of course, yes, where I'm from.
Yes, cheers.
Oh, yes, England.
Queen Victoria, crumpets.
Edgar Wright, The Spice Girls.
- Shakespeare. - Oh, I love all that stuff.
Yes, I love England.
I gotta say, I prefer Poland. I do.
I was gonna go there on vacation once with my wi... my... my...
You know, there's an old English tradition that when a gentlemen
meets a lady as beautiful as yourself, he buys her a drink.
May I?
Oh, she's really afraid.
Yeah, it's not... I'm good with dogs.
Dogs usually like me.
I wonder what it is.
Oh, the monster.
- What? - What?
Maybe she'll like the bar better.
Get her a little water, maybe they'll have some...
Little bowl with water.
I think... I bet they'll do that, it's a nice train.
Hmm.
- Should we go there? - Maybe.
- Okay, yes, Madame. - Oh, of course.
Hey, how long have you been up?
Oh, hey, sorry.
Um, I got up just before you did.
Beat the alarm by one minute.
Um, I was thinking, since you're finished
with your invention, we should celebrate.
Yeah, sure.
We could go to Oberge, and I'll call Raymond
- and get our old table. - Good, yeah, do that.
Good, good.
Okay, great, I'll just, um...
_
Okay.
You wish to see us?
I thought one of you might know what happened
to the baggage man.
I haven't the remotest idea.
What about you?
Perhaps it had something to do with what's inside that crate.
I agree with you.
He was trying to open it when something happened!
What?
Sorry, oop, coming through. Sorry. That wasn't me.
Fortunately, he was interrupted.
Why are you so worried about it being opened?
It may be my fault.
I asked the baggage man to take a look.
I was curious.
It was no concern of yours.
Or of yours.
Konev, see if you can open the crate with that.
Go ahead!
Sorry, I just had to say, Peter Cushing...
- My God. - I'm a huge fan.
- Dr. Wells. - The baggage man.
- What was in there? - Christopher Lee. This is nuts.
- I told you a fossil. - You guys are great.
Okay, keep going.
... that lived two million years ago.
You made it.
Don't get up, please.
Please.
Where did you disappear to?
Oh, earlier, yes, I'm sorry about that.
I was in another part of the train.
You know, I heard there was a murder.
Yes, yes, there was.
I... I fear there'll be others too.
But... you'll be safe with me.
I promise.
That's funny.
Because I feel with you, I'm in great danger.
With me? Nah.
Danger of what?
Oh my God, I've been in love with you since I was a boy.
You and only you.
Uh. How is that possible?
Oh, Countess, you'll soon learn, anything is possible.
Oh, hey.
Hey.
What's going on?
Are you sick?
Sss... yeah.
Yeah, you know, I think I... I think I am getting sick.
Of course you are.
You've been working so hard.
- We need to get you to bed. - Yes.
- Dinner. - Mm-hmm.
- No. - No, no, it's fine.
No, it's not fine. You go.
- What? - Yeah.
You should go, you deserve it.
You know what? Call one of your friends.
Just go. Have a great time, really.
Oh God, I... I'm really sick.
This is not good.
Okay, well, I'll see you then.
- Hey. - Uh, hey.
That was Millicent from the tennis club.
So if you're feeling well enough to stay home alone,
I'm gonna go to Oberge with her.
Oh, yeah, totally, honey, I'll be okay.
I just wish I could go.
I love that place.
Well, have fun.
Tell her I say hi.
- Have fun, but not too much fun. - Okay.
Alright, well, feel better.
Thanks.
- Hello? - Hi, Dad.
I hope I'm not disturbing you.
I know we haven't spoken in such a long time.
How is your husband?
He's... he's fine.
He's fine, we are good.
He's actually, um... he's working on a new invention right now,
believe it or not.
Hmm.
Who paid for it?
Well, the money's not really the point, Dad.
You sure about that?
Simon!
Simon?
Oh my God.
Holy shit.
Hello, Simon.
I didn't hear you come in.
No, you didn't.
I was just in the office
finishing up some paperwork.
Good night, Countess.
Very curious.
- Scalpel. - Mm-hmm.
- Can you keep that still? - Mm.
What is he doing?
Pre pan.
Hello.
Count, I'm Renee Sherman.
I have heard so much about you.
You see, my husband is sleeping with your wife.
Band saw.
Here you are, Doctor.
It's true, ask her.
Ask her where she was last night.
Tell him.
Can you tell me how he died?
Smooth as a baby's bottom.
You saw this man today and he was normal?
- Absolutely. - Tell him.
Tell him where you were.
He will never be yours.
What's so special about this brain?
Learning and memory are engraved on the normal brain,
leaving a wrinkled surface.
This brain has been drained, the memory has been removed.
Like chalk erased from a blackboard.
He loves me!
You know what? Fuck you!
Keep running, Countess!
You stay away from my husband.
You think you can steal him? God!
What is this fucking movie? I hate this movie.
No one's ever seen "Horror Express."
Do not make me come back
into this goddamn movie.
You feeling better?
I am, yeah. I don't know... it was weird.
- Must have been a bug. - I don't think it was a bug.
I think it was a feature.
- What? - Hmm?
What... what's all this?
There was a leak under the sink,
so I'm gonna bring all this down to the garage.
- Huh? - Huh?
I made breakfast!
I'll just have some coffee. I gotta go check on the pod.
Okay, honey. Do what you gotta do.
- Great. - Simon?
- Yeah? - You said you wanted coffee.
Unless you didn't mean it.
Unless you said it, but you didn't mean it.
No. Yeah, thanks.
I meant it.
_
What is this?
Who are you people?
Why are we in black and white?
Oh, I'm in the wrong movie.
Oh, I know this one.
- Cool. - Help me, man!
Yeah, I'm... sorry, I can't help.
You'll be fine. Well, one of you will.
Classic.
Really cool.
Smell. You smell the zombies.
That shouldn't be good.
You guys are in a struggle for your life, sorry.
But amazing!
Oh, whoa.
Oh, oh, man, oh my God.
Genuinely scary.
So good.
This is really cool. I wish I could stay.
Uh, I can't. I don't belong here.
But so cool.
Alright, bye-bye.
What the fuck?
Hold on, hold on, ah!
I'm trapped.
Help! Renee, push the button! Help!
Wait, wait, wait, I'm in the wrong movie.
Stop, pause, pause.
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Help!
Renee, push the button!
Renee! Help!
Renee! Renee! Wait!
Mm.
Airbase 51, hailing all frequencies towards the creek.
Tarmac has been compromised, they have taken over.
We fall back...
Find, bolt door seven.
Proceed with extreme caution.
Good luck.
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com