1
00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:15,215
Oh, my!

2
00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:17,100
A handsome interloper

3
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,988
has happened upon my impromptu picnic.

4
00:00:32,457 --> 00:00:37,902
Allow me to cool my décolletage
with an icy glass of sweet tea.

5
00:00:39,859 --> 00:00:41,327
You need to come with me.

6
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,139
Are you not seeing
what's happening here?

7
00:00:48,303 --> 00:00:50,459
You're a traveling salesman,

8
00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:52,819
and my daddy has gone to town for seeds.

9
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:55,372
We had a swarm of locusts.

10
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,293
Hey.

11
00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:59,620
You really need to come with me.

12
00:00:59,645 --> 00:01:02,729
But... But, well, now I'm
stuck with all this sweet tea

13
00:01:03,014 --> 00:01:05,141
and whipped cream and this accent.

14
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:11,638
Deserted highway, jittery husband.

15
00:01:11,746 --> 00:01:13,305
If I knew you were gonna kill me,

16
00:01:13,330 --> 00:01:15,132
I would've worn sweats.

17
00:01:15,770 --> 00:01:18,065
Okay. Look at the billboard.

18
00:01:19,307 --> 00:01:20,842
"Mr. Naughty's."

19
00:01:20,971 --> 00:01:22,039
A strip club?

20
00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:25,206
Naked picnic Monday isn't
good enough for you anymore?

21
00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:27,034
Look again.

22
00:01:27,059 --> 00:01:29,565
What? It's some poor stripper
looking confused and...

23
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,753
Oh, my God, that's my daughter!

24
00:01:43,326 --> 00:01:48,326
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --

25
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:02,041
It's Christy!

26
00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:04,391
Yeah, we know it's Christy.

27
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:05,859
I knew her eyes were big,

28
00:02:05,884 --> 00:02:08,158
but now they're, like, six feet tall.

29
00:02:08,924 --> 00:02:10,913
And I think they're following me.

30
00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:14,583
She hung up her tassels ages ago.

31
00:02:14,608 --> 00:02:16,544
Has that thing been
up there for 20 years?

32
00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:18,872
Judging by all the bird poop, yes.

33
00:02:19,327 --> 00:02:21,674
Why couldn't they have
pooped on her face?

34
00:02:22,038 --> 00:02:24,040
Poop on her face!

35
00:02:24,268 --> 00:02:25,879
At least it'll be dark soon

36
00:02:25,904 --> 00:02:27,471
and people won't be able to see it.

37
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:32,951
Poop on the lights!

38
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:42,337
So, a giant, half-naked Christy
has been up there for decades,

39
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,230
and we had no idea.

40
00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:46,432
You know, I always
pictured a boyish figure

41
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,910
under all those hoodies,
and, to be honest,

42
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,547
I preferred it that way.

43
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:52,305
- Do you think she knows?
- Of course not.

44
00:02:52,330 --> 00:02:53,740
I posted a picture of
her on her birthday.

45
00:02:53,765 --> 00:02:55,510
She made me take it down
'cause she didn't like

46
00:02:55,535 --> 00:02:56,769
how her ears looked.

47
00:02:56,794 --> 00:02:59,414
Upside, you don't notice
her ears on the billboard.

48
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:02,649
I mean, we've all heard
about her stripper days,

49
00:03:02,674 --> 00:03:05,544
but somehow, seeing her 80 feet wide

50
00:03:05,569 --> 00:03:07,504
makes it very real.

51
00:03:07,951 --> 00:03:10,311
Yeah. I mean, I know Marjorie
lived in a cardboard box,

52
00:03:10,336 --> 00:03:12,496
but if I saw it on a billboard,
that would be a bummer.

53
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,528
What would that billboard be for?

54
00:03:15,553 --> 00:03:17,600
Dave's Cardboard Box Emporium?

55
00:03:18,056 --> 00:03:19,280
Well, living in a box

56
00:03:19,305 --> 00:03:21,116
was one of the least
embarrassing things I did.

57
00:03:21,141 --> 00:03:23,643
Thank God social media didn't
exist when I was drinking.

58
00:03:23,944 --> 00:03:25,446
Oh, I'm not so lucky.

59
00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:29,700
If you Google "drunk socialite
moons Wimbledon," hello.

60
00:03:29,725 --> 00:03:32,661
I'd be mortified if you guys
ever saw my episode of Cops.

61
00:03:32,686 --> 00:03:36,119
I get arrested, make bail,
then get arrested again.

62
00:03:36,144 --> 00:03:39,119
Never jaywalk with a goat
if you're trying to lay low.

63
00:03:41,341 --> 00:03:42,675
Well, my daughter has come too far

64
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:45,303
for her hoo-ha to be
a roadside attraction.

65
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:47,526
Christy's gonna lose
it when she finds out.

66
00:03:47,551 --> 00:03:49,671
No, she won't, 'cause
none of us are telling her.

67
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:50,964
I'm gonna handle it.

68
00:03:51,186 --> 00:03:55,256
- Okay, just...
- I'm gonna handle it.

69
00:03:56,826 --> 00:03:58,905
This is the best burger I've ever had.

70
00:03:58,930 --> 00:04:01,432
Just mayo and cheese. I'm in heaven!

71
00:04:01,759 --> 00:04:03,971
But mostly I feel bad about Christy.

72
00:04:06,441 --> 00:04:08,076
Operator.

73
00:04:08,267 --> 00:04:10,186
Customer service.

74
00:04:10,812 --> 00:04:12,772
Live person!

75
00:04:12,905 --> 00:04:14,760
- What's going on?
- I'm trying to get through

76
00:04:14,785 --> 00:04:17,077
to the strip club, But they
have this whole long menu

77
00:04:17,102 --> 00:04:20,343
about VIP rooms, strip
clubs, lost wedding rings.

78
00:04:20,458 --> 00:04:23,597
What number do I push to
save my daughter's dignity?!

79
00:04:23,622 --> 00:04:25,108
Did you try eight?

80
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,151
Oh, there's Rod. Don't look. Don't look.

81
00:04:33,209 --> 00:04:36,271
- Did you all just see that?
- No, 'cause you told us not to look.

82
00:04:36,417 --> 00:04:38,711
He completely ignored me.

83
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:42,241
This is why I say dating people
from the rooms can get messy.

84
00:04:42,266 --> 00:04:44,617
Marjorie, we're alcoholics.
When you say "messy,"

85
00:04:44,642 --> 00:04:46,921
we hear, "Sounds like
fun. Where do I sign up?"

86
00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:49,555
God, why did I hook up with him?

87
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,382
He's so not my type.

88
00:04:51,407 --> 00:04:53,576
He's arrogant and
vain and self-centered,

89
00:04:53,601 --> 00:04:55,554
and why hasn't he called me?

90
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,430
Why don't you call him?

91
00:04:57,455 --> 00:04:59,457
Ugh, I don't want
anything to do with him.

92
00:04:59,482 --> 00:05:00,917
It's just awkward.

93
00:05:01,232 --> 00:05:02,969
I mean, we've seen each other naked.

94
00:05:03,246 --> 00:05:05,817
Well, I was naked. He kept his boots on.

95
00:05:07,305 --> 00:05:09,048
You know, for traction.

96
00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:13,830
So, Rod took his boots off,
then took his pants off,

97
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,790
then put his boots back on?

98
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,784
No. Boots stayed on the whole time.

99
00:05:17,809 --> 00:05:20,512
It was like some
weird, sexy magic trick.

100
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:23,448
All right, ladies, let's take our seats.

101
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:32,268
- Did he look?
- Nope.

102
00:05:32,293 --> 00:05:33,987
Damn it, what a child!

103
00:05:37,229 --> 00:05:39,815
So, how you doing? You still
freaked out about that billboard?

104
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,507
Let me tell you something.

105
00:05:41,615 --> 00:05:43,117
When I first saw it,

106
00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:45,044
I was just a guy driving down a road,

107
00:05:45,069 --> 00:05:47,622
happy to see some advertising
that didn't involve

108
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:50,237
personal injury attorneys or eczema.

109
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:53,619
I started at the feet. All systems go.

110
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:56,281
Worked my way up the legs. Life is good.

111
00:05:56,306 --> 00:05:58,458
Torso did not disappoint.

112
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,585
And wham! It's my stepdaughter.

113
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,629
I mean, I nearly drove off the road.

114
00:06:04,222 --> 00:06:05,909
So, this strip club...

115
00:06:06,094 --> 00:06:08,152
Where exactly is it located?

116
00:06:08,875 --> 00:06:11,744
I haven't had glitter on
the old trousers in a while.

117
00:06:11,826 --> 00:06:13,234
Come on, man.

118
00:06:13,259 --> 00:06:16,159
We're in a bar. Isn't this where
men can speak from our hearts?

119
00:06:16,184 --> 00:06:17,786
That's not where you're speaking from.

120
00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:20,281
I am awash in shame.

121
00:06:20,306 --> 00:06:22,690
I'm sorry. It's just this whole thing

122
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,851
made me realize that every
woman I've ever checked out

123
00:06:24,876 --> 00:06:26,478
is somebody's daughter.

124
00:06:26,503 --> 00:06:27,971
Yeah, but if we all thought that way,

125
00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:29,564
no one would ever have sex again.

126
00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,757
The human species would go extinct.

127
00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:33,884
You know, men objectifying women

128
00:06:33,909 --> 00:06:36,734
is what's keeping civilization
alive. We're heroes.

129
00:06:36,759 --> 00:06:38,494
- We're pigs!
- No, we're not.

130
00:06:38,670 --> 00:06:41,239
We open the doors, we kill the spiders,

131
00:06:41,264 --> 00:06:43,981
- we buy the jewelry.
- We have to be better.

132
00:06:44,619 --> 00:06:46,176
Do we?

133
00:06:47,761 --> 00:06:50,718
Yes! That's a person up
there on that billboard.

134
00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:54,188
With real feelings and a
heart... and a soul

135
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:55,915
and a way of eating
lasagna from the middle

136
00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:57,708
that's very endearing.

137
00:06:58,594 --> 00:07:01,263
Well, now you're making
me feel bad about myself.

138
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:02,456
Well, you should.

139
00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:06,320
Truth be told, I have been dragging

140
00:07:06,345 --> 00:07:09,281
a little sexual toilet paper
around on my shoe lately.

141
00:07:09,410 --> 00:07:11,870
- Let me guess. Jill?
- Oh, you heard.

142
00:07:11,895 --> 00:07:13,363
Bonnie told me.

143
00:07:13,388 --> 00:07:14,600
When you're married,

144
00:07:14,625 --> 00:07:16,794
other people's
adventures are a big deal.

145
00:07:17,559 --> 00:07:20,840
Yeah. I've been avoiding
her since we had sex,

146
00:07:20,865 --> 00:07:25,422
and... perhaps that
doesn't feel good to her?

147
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:28,981
I don't think women
appreciate that the way we do.

148
00:07:30,683 --> 00:07:32,451
You know what? I'm gonna give her a ring

149
00:07:32,476 --> 00:07:33,694
and invite her down here,

150
00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:35,316
and we can sort it out like two adults.

151
00:07:35,341 --> 00:07:36,509
Good for you.

152
00:07:36,534 --> 00:07:38,414
You know, I-I've told
myself over and over again

153
00:07:38,439 --> 00:07:40,575
not to fool around with
women from meetings,

154
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,904
but then I get this incredibly
compelling counterargument

155
00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:44,418
from my penis.

156
00:07:44,443 --> 00:07:46,445
They are convincing.

157
00:07:58,860 --> 00:08:01,863
Whoops! Sorry. Oh! Carry on.

158
00:08:02,988 --> 00:08:06,185
God, Tuesday afternoon.
What is wrong with men?

159
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,490
It's open.

160
00:08:12,657 --> 00:08:14,592
Oh. Hello.

161
00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:18,731
- Are you the manager?
- Yep. You're too old to work here.

162
00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:23,102
What? Hey, I could totally work here.

163
00:08:23,690 --> 00:08:26,360
All right. Show me what you got.

164
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:30,848
Wait, no. That's not why I came.

165
00:08:30,873 --> 00:08:32,745
Let me guess.

166
00:08:32,853 --> 00:08:34,288
Your husband is in there,

167
00:08:34,313 --> 00:08:37,476
and you need me to go remind him
how great his life is back home.

168
00:08:37,677 --> 00:08:40,609
No, my husband knows
how great his life is.

169
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,289
Great. 'Cause lately,
I've been struggling

170
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,425
to come off as sincere.

171
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,053
- May I?
- Take your chances.

172
00:08:56,609 --> 00:08:58,726
Many years ago, there was a...

173
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:01,134
there was a girl... a lost girl.

174
00:09:01,159 --> 00:09:02,942
But it wasn't the girl's fault.

175
00:09:02,967 --> 00:09:05,269
Her-her mother never gave
her the road map she needed

176
00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:06,820
- to succeed in life.
- Mm.

177
00:09:06,845 --> 00:09:09,824
Actually, no one ever gave her
mother the road map, either.

178
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:12,911
- It's a vicious cycle.
- Yeah, I'm familiar with it.

179
00:09:14,718 --> 00:09:18,691
Anyway, uh, this girl spent
some of her formative years

180
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,519
in this very establishment.

181
00:09:20,544 --> 00:09:23,596
Yeah, see, formative years.
Now, that's what I hire.

182
00:09:25,194 --> 00:09:28,464
Uh-huh. But how many of those
end up at Georgetown Law school?

183
00:09:29,506 --> 00:09:32,509
They don't tend to keep
in touch after they leave.

184
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:35,341
Well, my daughter made that journey,

185
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:37,935
and yet she's still up on your billboard

186
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,494
on Route 29.

187
00:09:40,201 --> 00:09:42,002
You're Christy's mom?

188
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,573
- You remember her?
- Well, yeah!

189
00:09:45,598 --> 00:09:47,581
Well, I used to be the DJ back then.

190
00:09:47,606 --> 00:09:49,722
Hey, I'm the one who told her

191
00:09:49,747 --> 00:09:51,315
she should work to "Tiny Dancer."

192
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,541
Right? You get it?

193
00:09:52,566 --> 00:09:54,835
'Cause she-she's very small.

194
00:09:56,832 --> 00:09:59,902
Well, you-you both made
something of yourselves.

195
00:10:00,237 --> 00:10:03,636
Yeah, I never dreamed
I'd have my own office.

196
00:10:03,661 --> 00:10:05,729
So Christy's still alive, huh?

197
00:10:05,754 --> 00:10:07,823
Wow. That's great.

198
00:10:08,523 --> 00:10:11,877
You know, I knew her
heart wasn't in the pole.

199
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:13,730
It's not for everyone.

200
00:10:13,972 --> 00:10:15,247
Well, I'm glad you understand

201
00:10:15,272 --> 00:10:17,675
because it leads me to why I'm here.

202
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,802
I feel that billboard
might have a negative impact

203
00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:21,495
on her legal career.

204
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,622
I mean, she may be on
the Supreme Court one day,

205
00:10:23,647 --> 00:10:25,415
but not with that thing up there.

206
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,809
Mm, I'm sorry. That billboard's money.

207
00:10:27,908 --> 00:10:29,810
But it's more than 20 years old.

208
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:34,046
You know, people like the vintage.
Reminds them of a simpler time.

209
00:10:34,071 --> 00:10:35,788
1998?

210
00:10:35,813 --> 00:10:37,047
Wow.

211
00:10:37,072 --> 00:10:38,550
This crazy blue marble, huh?

212
00:10:38,575 --> 00:10:40,706
Just keeps spinning, don't it?

213
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:44,410
Look, my daughter worked
so hard to get where she is.

214
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,761
She shouldn't have to drag her
past behind her for eternity.

215
00:10:46,786 --> 00:10:48,754
That's... that's not right.

216
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:53,853
Neither is smoking
indoors, but here we are.

217
00:10:54,136 --> 00:10:56,538
That billboard needs to come down,

218
00:10:56,563 --> 00:11:00,367
and I am not leaving
until you change your mind.

219
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:05,514
Tony, Bruno, I'd like you to consider

220
00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:07,519
what your mothers
think of you right now!

221
00:11:12,789 --> 00:11:14,201
The manager wasn't a terrible guy.

222
00:11:14,226 --> 00:11:16,240
He did give me two
coupons to the buffet.

223
00:11:16,265 --> 00:11:18,434
Ooh, I love a good strip club buffet.

224
00:11:18,983 --> 00:11:21,237
Yeah. I only got a quick look
as I was rudely shown the door,

225
00:11:21,262 --> 00:11:22,446
but there were silver dollar pancakes

226
00:11:22,471 --> 00:11:25,074
and what looked to be an ambrosia salad.

227
00:11:25,328 --> 00:11:28,097
Maybe when we're done
vandalizing, we can drop by.

228
00:11:29,378 --> 00:11:30,446
No? Okay.

229
00:11:31,159 --> 00:11:34,125
Now, this little baby
takes no prisoners.

230
00:11:34,150 --> 00:11:37,920
Two strokes, and it's bye-bye,
Christy's questionable choices.

231
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,015
What's going on?

232
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,474
Could ask you the same thing.

233
00:11:42,499 --> 00:11:43,717
What are you doing
with that poor creature?

234
00:11:43,742 --> 00:11:45,578
Oh, the vet says he's pre-diabetic,

235
00:11:45,603 --> 00:11:47,772
so twice a day, we got to walk the hill.

236
00:11:48,257 --> 00:11:50,649
So, it looks like you
two have a project.

237
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:52,860
The strip club wouldn't take
down Christy's billboard,

238
00:11:52,885 --> 00:11:54,820
so I'm taking matters into my own hands.

239
00:11:54,887 --> 00:11:57,478
Aha. So you're planning to deface it?

240
00:11:57,503 --> 00:11:59,931
De-face. De-body. De-whole thing.

241
00:12:00,926 --> 00:12:04,275
Hold on. Let's make sure
we look before we leap.

242
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:05,807
Great. Now we're gonna get wisdom

243
00:12:05,831 --> 00:12:07,853
from a woman who's walking her cat.

244
00:12:07,878 --> 00:12:10,032
I think what we need here is a meeting,

245
00:12:10,057 --> 00:12:13,372
because your alcoholic brain is
running a little wild right now,

246
00:12:13,397 --> 00:12:15,899
and Tammy's getting
caught up in the riptide.

247
00:12:15,924 --> 00:12:17,739
I am impressionable.

248
00:12:20,486 --> 00:12:22,254
Maybe I could do a ladies only night.

249
00:12:22,279 --> 00:12:23,623
That way, they won't even
have to deal with men.

250
00:12:23,648 --> 00:12:25,583
You know, make the bar
kind of a safe haven.

251
00:12:25,608 --> 00:12:27,310
You mean like a lesbian bar?

252
00:12:27,335 --> 00:12:30,238
News flash... not
necessarily a safe haven.

253
00:12:31,564 --> 00:12:34,906
All right, let's try a Sparkly Pony.

254
00:12:34,931 --> 00:12:37,803
Ooh, it has pineapple in
it. I'm mildly allergic.

255
00:12:37,828 --> 00:12:39,696
Finally, a little danger!

256
00:12:42,341 --> 00:12:43,977
Jill's here.

257
00:12:49,798 --> 00:12:51,800
This is gonna be harder than I thought.

258
00:12:54,686 --> 00:12:56,288
Hello.

259
00:12:56,355 --> 00:12:57,355
Uh, thanks for coming.

260
00:12:57,389 --> 00:13:00,592
Mm, no problem. I was in
the neighborhood, and...

261
00:13:00,659 --> 00:13:03,395
already dressed like this.

262
00:13:03,420 --> 00:13:04,539
What can I get for you, Jill?

263
00:13:04,563 --> 00:13:06,456
I'm about to ride a Sparkly Pony.

264
00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:08,667
Oh, I'll have one of
those, extra sparkle.

265
00:13:08,734 --> 00:13:11,069
Jill, if you had to
judge my bar as a whole,

266
00:13:11,136 --> 00:13:12,547
would you say that it respects women?

267
00:13:12,613 --> 00:13:15,441
- What?
- Never mind.

268
00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:19,586
So, you're the one that called me,

269
00:13:19,611 --> 00:13:22,215
'cause I certainly had no
intentions of ever calling you.

270
00:13:22,355 --> 00:13:23,615
I even deleted your contact,

271
00:13:23,682 --> 00:13:25,417
so when you called,
it was just a number.

272
00:13:25,442 --> 00:13:27,778
I didn't know who it was, so
I picked up, and it was you.

273
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,256
Right. Yes. Uh, can I get you a drink?

274
00:13:31,281 --> 00:13:32,549
We just did that.

275
00:13:32,789 --> 00:13:35,360
Great. Phase one complete,
only minor injuries.

276
00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:42,082
I asked you here because
I wanted to... own up

277
00:13:42,107 --> 00:13:44,678
to my recent... aloofness.

278
00:13:44,703 --> 00:13:46,271
Oh, I didn't even notice.

279
00:13:46,338 --> 00:13:47,648
I mean, you're not even in my phone,

280
00:13:47,673 --> 00:13:49,608
but I'm still in yours,
so who's aloof now?

281
00:13:51,242 --> 00:13:53,420
- Anyway, even if you didn't notice...
- I didn't.

282
00:13:53,445 --> 00:13:56,181
Well, I did, and I didn't treat you

283
00:13:56,206 --> 00:13:58,738
with the respect that you deserve.

284
00:14:00,619 --> 00:14:01,847
And I'm sorry.

285
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:04,676
Mm. Thank you.

286
00:14:06,792 --> 00:14:08,494
Look, we're two adults

287
00:14:08,519 --> 00:14:10,354
who had consensual sex
in a vacant apartment.

288
00:14:11,605 --> 00:14:13,674
God, that was hard to say out loud.

289
00:14:15,844 --> 00:14:18,604
Just so you know, that's
not the kind of behavior

290
00:14:18,629 --> 00:14:20,360
I usually indulge in.

291
00:14:20,739 --> 00:14:24,576
Well, it's exactly the kind of
behavior I usually indulge in.

292
00:14:24,601 --> 00:14:26,603
And then I leave town.

293
00:14:26,797 --> 00:14:30,473
Only, uh, nowhere to go
and no money to get there.

294
00:14:32,284 --> 00:14:33,902
I didn't think this one through.

295
00:14:34,028 --> 00:14:35,963
Yeah, I didn't, either.

296
00:14:36,551 --> 00:14:38,996
Can-can we just reset

297
00:14:39,199 --> 00:14:41,627
and try being clothes-on,

298
00:14:41,693 --> 00:14:44,229
wave-to-each-other-
across-the-room friends?

299
00:14:44,296 --> 00:14:45,721
I can do that.

300
00:14:46,565 --> 00:14:49,368
So, uh, tell me about yourself.

301
00:14:49,434 --> 00:14:51,127
What's your last name?

302
00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:55,916
Hi. Bonnie, alcoholic.

303
00:14:55,941 --> 00:14:57,376
Hi, Bonnie.

304
00:14:57,636 --> 00:15:01,475
This is my first time
at the 5:45 meeting.

305
00:15:02,303 --> 00:15:04,550
Not to quibble, but what's the deal?

306
00:15:04,575 --> 00:15:07,345
Can't commit to 5:30?
Can't commit to 6:00?

307
00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:09,673
I mean, when do you have
dinner? When do you finish work?

308
00:15:09,698 --> 00:15:12,368
Came in handy for us
today, though, so thumbs up.

309
00:15:13,368 --> 00:15:15,303
I've been known to do
a lot of crazy things

310
00:15:15,328 --> 00:15:16,996
'cause, you know, alcoholic.

311
00:15:17,021 --> 00:15:18,973
And where this brain
goes, the body follows.

312
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:21,333
Sometimes the body goes and
the brain just stays behind.

313
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,870
Right now, I'm dealing with
a thing where, um,

314
00:15:24,895 --> 00:15:26,979
I'm worried my kid is
gonna be embarrassed

315
00:15:27,004 --> 00:15:31,443
or... hurt or exploited or exposed

316
00:15:31,468 --> 00:15:33,737
to the kind of people who
use secondary highways.

317
00:15:33,762 --> 00:15:37,002
She means that literally.
It's not a metaphor.

318
00:15:37,783 --> 00:15:41,033
I keep questioning if
my reaction is alcoholic.

319
00:15:41,795 --> 00:15:45,483
Actually, other people
keep questioning it,

320
00:15:45,662 --> 00:15:47,174
but, yeah, screw that.

321
00:15:47,199 --> 00:15:49,968
Sometimes it's not
about being an alcoholic.

322
00:15:49,993 --> 00:15:52,283
Sometimes it's just about being a mom.

323
00:15:52,308 --> 00:15:54,844
A mom who wants to protect her kid.

324
00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:57,666
You know what? The more I
talk about it, the more I...

325
00:15:58,837 --> 00:16:00,238
I can't be here.

326
00:16:02,492 --> 00:16:03,960
Should we follow her?

327
00:16:04,309 --> 00:16:06,011
No worries. She's not going anywhere.

328
00:16:06,036 --> 00:16:07,387
I got my keys right...

329
00:16:07,613 --> 00:16:09,832
Son of a bitch!

330
00:16:15,064 --> 00:16:16,414
How far away is your place?

331
00:16:16,439 --> 00:16:18,281
Ten minutes, but my housekeeper's there.

332
00:16:18,306 --> 00:16:20,617
- How about you?
- Seven minutes, but my mum's there.

333
00:16:21,094 --> 00:16:22,961
- Hit recline.
- Yeah.

334
00:16:25,972 --> 00:16:29,075
This is going very slowly,
but it's only making it hotter.

335
00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:35,569
Oh. Seriously?

336
00:16:36,539 --> 00:16:38,510
Oh, hey, Marjorie.

337
00:16:38,577 --> 00:16:41,906
Oh. Okay. I'll be right there.

338
00:16:42,981 --> 00:16:44,434
You have to go.

339
00:16:44,459 --> 00:16:47,919
Just gonna need a moment
before I can zip up again.

340
00:16:53,525 --> 00:16:55,207
This is fun.

341
00:16:56,278 --> 00:16:57,946
You guys have never been in my car.

342
00:16:57,971 --> 00:17:01,438
I bought it off a volunteer
fireman, so it has a siren.

343
00:17:02,557 --> 00:17:04,949
Well, we appreciate the ride.

344
00:17:05,001 --> 00:17:07,370
Even though I can't feel my feet.

345
00:17:08,103 --> 00:17:09,853
I offered you shotgun.

346
00:17:09,878 --> 00:17:11,907
But I couldn't because you're super old,

347
00:17:11,932 --> 00:17:13,666
and I'm inherently kind.

348
00:17:17,071 --> 00:17:19,106
I just had to show you.

349
00:17:22,072 --> 00:17:24,453
Come on, Bonnie! You're gonna get hurt!

350
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:27,314
I don't care! This is my daughter!

351
00:17:29,072 --> 00:17:32,188
Damn it, Wendy. Was that
you behind me with the siren?

352
00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,581
Bonnie, get down from there!

353
00:17:35,606 --> 00:17:38,560
- I'm pretty sure you're trespassing.
- What?

354
00:17:38,585 --> 00:17:42,564
She said you're trespassing!
Come on. Use your outside voice.

355
00:17:44,649 --> 00:17:47,218
You're gonna end up in jail!

356
00:17:47,564 --> 00:17:49,703
Are you really telling me

357
00:17:49,728 --> 00:17:52,883
that if your son was up there
in a thong and high heels,

358
00:17:52,908 --> 00:17:55,393
you wouldn't do everything
in your power to fix it?

359
00:17:55,789 --> 00:17:56,803
She has a point.

360
00:17:56,828 --> 00:18:00,231
You are the mama of all bears
when it comes to your son.

361
00:18:00,256 --> 00:18:01,884
Well, as your sponsor,

362
00:18:01,909 --> 00:18:04,745
I think there's another
way to handle this.

363
00:18:06,855 --> 00:18:09,224
As a mother, I'm coming up!

364
00:18:15,301 --> 00:18:17,103
This is actually fun.

365
00:18:17,372 --> 00:18:19,841
Hey, maybe I should
paint one of my houses.

366
00:18:20,510 --> 00:18:23,049
- Is that a hickey on your neck?
- What? Shh!

367
00:18:24,881 --> 00:18:27,249
Ladies, thank you for dropping whatever

368
00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:30,577
or whoever you were doing
to come here and help me.

369
00:18:31,275 --> 00:18:34,090
Tammy, did you give her a tail?

370
00:18:34,115 --> 00:18:36,117
I'm gonna paint over it.

371
00:18:37,802 --> 00:18:40,304
Remember, don't look down.

372
00:18:40,329 --> 00:18:41,764
Why? What's wrong with it?

373
00:18:47,411 --> 00:18:50,888
Sorry, Christy. Cannot
FaceTime with you now.

374
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:01,525
All right, Boz.

375
00:19:01,550 --> 00:19:04,754
We have been through
this. You got to exercise.

376
00:19:07,665 --> 00:19:11,460
You heard what the doctor said.
He was very clear.

377
00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:13,504
Okay.

378
00:19:13,725 --> 00:19:16,695
Do you want to be on
the low-calorie dry food

379
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,856
when everyone else gets the good stuff?

380
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,646
I'm not giving in.

381
00:19:22,935 --> 00:19:25,574
I googled the side
effects of feline diabetes,

382
00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:27,301
and they're very upsetting.

383
00:19:29,912 --> 00:19:31,155
Yeah, just a heads-up.

384
00:19:31,180 --> 00:19:33,271
Looks like we're gonna be
late to the meeting again.

385
00:19:35,724 --> 00:19:40,724
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --