1 00:00:00,297 --> 00:00:02,791 The day you discharge a patient who nearly died 2 00:00:02,815 --> 00:00:03,926 is a very good day. 3 00:00:03,950 --> 00:00:06,161 It has never, ever been about me! 4 00:00:06,185 --> 00:00:07,562 I do love you! 5 00:00:07,586 --> 00:00:08,730 I want you. 6 00:00:08,754 --> 00:00:10,432 - Say it. - I love you, too. 7 00:00:10,456 --> 00:00:12,034 We're done. 8 00:00:14,226 --> 00:00:15,470 I'll be in my car. 9 00:00:15,494 --> 00:00:17,039 Lot B, 7:00. 10 00:00:17,063 --> 00:00:18,307 You say your goodbyes. 11 00:00:18,331 --> 00:00:20,609 - You wish them luck. - We can't do this. 12 00:00:20,633 --> 00:00:22,611 And you hope like hell you never see them again. 13 00:00:22,635 --> 00:00:24,012 Here at the Trade Center, 14 00:00:24,036 --> 00:00:26,415 we are getting reports that a part of the tower 15 00:00:26,439 --> 00:00:27,716 has collapsed. 16 00:00:27,740 --> 00:00:29,651 Because when a patient does return, 17 00:00:29,675 --> 00:00:31,853 there's a very good chance you screwed up. 18 00:00:33,879 --> 00:00:36,091 I have loved you when I was coupled up. 19 00:00:36,115 --> 00:00:37,926 I have loved you when I was single. 20 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:41,897 I have loved you every second of every day. 21 00:00:41,921 --> 00:00:43,065 Teddy. 22 00:00:43,089 --> 00:00:45,867 I love you. I'm in love with you. 23 00:00:45,891 --> 00:00:47,710 I'm in love with Cristina. 24 00:00:47,734 --> 00:00:50,706 And then you'll be looking back to find what you missed, 25 00:00:50,730 --> 00:00:52,674 replaying every moment to find the one thing 26 00:00:52,698 --> 00:00:54,376 you could have done differently. 27 00:00:55,534 --> 00:00:56,812 And if you're like me, 28 00:00:56,836 --> 00:00:58,847 you'll obsess over finding that mistake. 29 00:01:03,042 --> 00:01:05,287 I'll make pancakes. 30 00:01:16,389 --> 00:01:19,656 Until it drives you out of your mind. 31 00:01:20,125 --> 00:01:27,171 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 32 00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:30,245 Mama, I can't... 33 00:01:30,269 --> 00:01:31,343 Hey. 34 00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:32,547 Everything's okay. 35 00:01:32,571 --> 00:01:34,883 Okay? You want some more? 36 00:01:34,907 --> 00:01:36,051 There. 37 00:01:36,075 --> 00:01:37,226 Look at me. 38 00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:38,687 Mama's okay. 39 00:01:38,711 --> 00:01:39,718 Okay? 40 00:01:39,742 --> 00:01:40,929 I want Mama. 41 00:01:40,953 --> 00:01:42,524 I know. 42 00:01:42,548 --> 00:01:43,925 Mama. 43 00:01:48,354 --> 00:01:49,586 Hey. 44 00:01:51,824 --> 00:01:53,409 It's the, uh... 45 00:01:54,293 --> 00:01:57,227 It's the raspberry jam you like, from the farmer's market. 46 00:01:58,431 --> 00:01:59,741 Teddy, you should really eat. 47 00:01:59,765 --> 00:02:02,110 Even if you're not hungry. 48 00:02:02,134 --> 00:02:03,753 Teddy. 49 00:02:07,740 --> 00:02:09,418 So, Meredith's stable. 50 00:02:09,442 --> 00:02:11,286 Not off the vent but stable. 51 00:02:11,310 --> 00:02:13,288 Webber says he wants to try and wean her off the vent 52 00:02:13,312 --> 00:02:15,190 in a couple days, so... 53 00:02:30,996 --> 00:02:32,841 Mom sent me a video of Leo. 54 00:02:32,865 --> 00:02:34,342 They made up this new game where... 55 00:02:34,366 --> 00:02:37,512 Where she pre... she pretends to wrap him in pillows 56 00:02:37,536 --> 00:02:39,214 and he pretends like he's sleeping on a cloud. 57 00:02:39,238 --> 00:02:41,705 It's ... It's really adorable. 58 00:02:44,410 --> 00:02:45,787 Teddy. 59 00:03:00,426 --> 00:03:01,444 Hey. Hey. 60 00:03:01,468 --> 00:03:02,507 Thank you. 61 00:03:02,531 --> 00:03:03,872 Is this really necessary? 62 00:03:03,896 --> 00:03:06,241 You can't get her to drink a sip of water? 63 00:03:06,265 --> 00:03:07,609 No. 64 00:03:07,633 --> 00:03:08,677 Do you want me to try? 65 00:03:08,701 --> 00:03:09,913 I've been tested. I'm negative. 66 00:03:09,937 --> 00:03:11,296 Me too but it's not a good time. 67 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:12,881 Allison's napping. 68 00:03:12,905 --> 00:03:14,250 But thank you for the fluids 69 00:03:14,311 --> 00:03:15,382 and I'll keep you updated, okay? 70 00:03:15,406 --> 00:03:16,451 Owen. 71 00:03:16,475 --> 00:03:18,036 Let me try. 72 00:03:18,845 --> 00:03:20,378 Let me try to help. 73 00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:23,358 Okay. 74 00:03:23,382 --> 00:03:25,527 Yeah. 75 00:04:06,392 --> 00:04:07,769 Hey, Altman. 76 00:04:07,793 --> 00:04:09,905 Is everything okay? 77 00:04:09,929 --> 00:04:11,406 Yeah. 78 00:04:11,430 --> 00:04:14,409 Sorry. Um, aren't I supposed to be here? 79 00:04:14,433 --> 00:04:16,311 - I don't know. - How long have you been off the vent? 80 00:04:16,335 --> 00:04:17,679 I was on a vent? 81 00:04:17,703 --> 00:04:19,036 Coming through. 82 00:04:21,006 --> 00:04:22,717 - Excuse me. - DeLuca? 83 00:04:26,245 --> 00:04:27,455 Help! 84 00:04:27,479 --> 00:04:29,090 Help! Help! 85 00:04:29,114 --> 00:04:30,559 DeLuca, what is wrong with you? Get me out of here! 86 00:04:30,583 --> 00:04:31,893 Do something! 87 00:04:31,917 --> 00:04:33,261 We've been seeing this a lot in patients lately, 88 00:04:33,285 --> 00:04:35,163 - but trust me, she's gone. - Help! 89 00:04:36,322 --> 00:04:40,235 Oh! How do people breathe in these things? 90 00:04:40,259 --> 00:04:42,829 Okay, I'm good. 91 00:04:44,597 --> 00:04:46,508 So, you ready to start? 92 00:04:46,532 --> 00:04:48,109 Start what? 93 00:04:48,133 --> 00:04:49,578 The incision. 94 00:04:58,143 --> 00:04:59,988 You said you could save her life. 95 00:05:00,012 --> 00:05:01,423 Save who? 96 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:03,692 Meredith. 97 00:05:16,762 --> 00:05:17,906 I... 98 00:05:19,331 --> 00:05:21,543 I don't know what to do. 99 00:05:30,209 --> 00:05:31,453 Allison? 100 00:05:38,183 --> 00:05:40,362 Teddy. 101 00:05:42,848 --> 00:05:44,232 Allison! 102 00:05:47,493 --> 00:05:48,959 Allison! 103 00:05:50,529 --> 00:05:52,240 Allison, wait! 104 00:05:59,305 --> 00:06:01,972 Allison? 105 00:06:04,677 --> 00:06:06,054 Any luck? 106 00:06:06,078 --> 00:06:07,122 No. 107 00:06:08,380 --> 00:06:09,617 If something doesn't change soon, 108 00:06:09,667 --> 00:06:10,828 I'm gonna have to have her admitted. 109 00:06:10,859 --> 00:06:12,127 Owen, she's overworked, she's overtired, 110 00:06:12,151 --> 00:06:13,628 she just lost DeLuca. 111 00:06:13,652 --> 00:06:15,330 I mean, she probably just needs some more rest. 112 00:06:15,354 --> 00:06:16,898 She hasn't spoken, she hasn't eaten, 113 00:06:16,922 --> 00:06:20,368 she hasn't so much as acknowledged her own daughter. 114 00:06:20,392 --> 00:06:22,003 Amelia, the only other time I've seen that kind of look, 115 00:06:22,027 --> 00:06:23,596 it's in soldiers. 116 00:06:25,014 --> 00:06:27,309 And plenty of them never came back. 117 00:06:36,617 --> 00:06:38,696 Teddy, Amelia brought fluids. 118 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:42,855 You will feel so much better once you are hydrated. 119 00:06:59,340 --> 00:07:01,085 Allison? 120 00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:04,688 Allison? 121 00:07:04,712 --> 00:07:06,123 Allison! 122 00:07:06,147 --> 00:07:07,425 Wait. 123 00:07:07,449 --> 00:07:08,993 Allison, don't leave! 124 00:07:09,017 --> 00:07:10,795 Don't throw your life away, Teddy. 125 00:07:10,819 --> 00:07:11,905 Allison! 126 00:07:11,929 --> 00:07:13,330 Tonight, I'll be in my car. 127 00:07:13,354 --> 00:07:16,133 Lot B, 7:00. 128 00:07:16,609 --> 00:07:18,536 Hey. 129 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:19,637 Hey. 130 00:07:19,661 --> 00:07:21,272 Not to tell you how to live your life, 131 00:07:21,296 --> 00:07:24,008 but shouldn't you be getting married right now? 132 00:07:24,032 --> 00:07:25,390 Owen's not there. 133 00:07:25,431 --> 00:07:26,710 You're thinking of running. 134 00:07:26,752 --> 00:07:30,047 Amelia did the same thing the night she married Owen. 135 00:07:30,071 --> 00:07:31,315 Poor bastard. 136 00:07:31,339 --> 00:07:33,984 It would have been better. For everyone. 137 00:07:34,008 --> 00:07:37,321 I think your problems go back a lot further than tonight. 138 00:07:40,748 --> 00:07:42,993 I have to try, don't I? 139 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,650 You breaking stuff? 140 00:08:06,674 --> 00:08:08,919 It's a bed for Leo. 141 00:08:08,943 --> 00:08:10,354 I can't make sense of these instructions. 142 00:08:10,378 --> 00:08:12,411 I think they're in Danish or something. 143 00:08:13,748 --> 00:08:15,292 Two heads are better than one? 144 00:08:15,316 --> 00:08:16,792 Amelia, you don't have to stay. 145 00:08:17,986 --> 00:08:20,124 I know. 146 00:08:20,148 --> 00:08:21,432 Okay. 147 00:08:21,456 --> 00:08:23,901 This and... 148 00:08:23,925 --> 00:08:25,236 Pick up the bottom part. 149 00:08:25,260 --> 00:08:26,337 Yeah. 150 00:08:30,999 --> 00:08:33,344 And I'm being told we have some breaking news... 151 00:08:33,368 --> 00:08:35,179 The daily body count of COVID patients 152 00:08:35,203 --> 00:08:37,548 could exceed that of 9/11 in the upcoming mon... 153 00:08:38,907 --> 00:08:43,053 ? Fini la musique, la foule défile ? 154 00:08:43,077 --> 00:08:44,255 I'm not a Vegas guy. 155 00:08:44,279 --> 00:08:46,357 I'm not a Vegas guy. 156 00:08:46,381 --> 00:08:48,092 Hey. 157 00:08:48,116 --> 00:08:50,761 Feeling any different? 158 00:08:50,785 --> 00:08:52,329 We hurt Owen. 159 00:08:52,353 --> 00:08:53,908 No, you... You hurt Owen. 160 00:08:53,937 --> 00:08:56,267 I'm just the guy driving the getaway car. 161 00:08:56,291 --> 00:08:57,554 He'll be hurt, but we... 162 00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:59,203 We always come back to being friends. 163 00:08:59,227 --> 00:09:01,739 Speaking of, should you maybe make a phone call? 164 00:09:01,763 --> 00:09:02,940 Mm. 165 00:09:02,964 --> 00:09:04,742 ? Quand la gloire se fanait? ? 166 00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:08,445 ? Les bravos se taisaient? ? 167 00:09:08,469 --> 00:09:10,147 It can wait. 168 00:09:10,171 --> 00:09:11,600 ? Ou, ou étais-tu ? 169 00:09:11,625 --> 00:09:13,984 Tonight's about us. 170 00:09:14,008 --> 00:09:15,553 This should be fun. 171 00:09:17,145 --> 00:09:24,128 ? Quand le silence s'approchait? ? 172 00:09:25,954 --> 00:09:28,154 Morning. 173 00:09:30,825 --> 00:09:32,503 What time is it? Mm. 174 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:41,445 We have all the time in the world. 175 00:09:41,469 --> 00:09:45,738 Have I ever told you what excellent room service I make? 176 00:09:47,241 --> 00:09:48,886 If I could choose one meal for the rest of my life, 177 00:09:48,910 --> 00:09:50,086 it would be this. 178 00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:51,589 Pancakes and champagne. 179 00:09:53,281 --> 00:09:55,192 Oh, my God! 180 00:09:55,216 --> 00:09:58,495 I choose this and you. 181 00:10:11,007 --> 00:10:12,742 Owen's gone. 182 00:10:13,601 --> 00:10:15,579 What do you... What do you mean he's gone? 183 00:10:15,603 --> 00:10:17,648 Apparently he took the kids and got on a plane. 184 00:10:17,672 --> 00:10:19,283 Got on a plane to where? 185 00:10:19,307 --> 00:10:22,486 Here we go again, eenie meenie miny snooze. 186 00:10:22,510 --> 00:10:23,554 You think this is funny? 187 00:10:23,578 --> 00:10:24,868 But my family is gone. 188 00:10:24,898 --> 00:10:26,085 What? Your family? 189 00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:27,101 Or Owen? 190 00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:28,468 I can't live without him. 191 00:10:28,492 --> 00:10:32,131 Oh, which makes me the gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe? 192 00:10:32,156 --> 00:10:34,268 I didn't think that he would actually leave. 193 00:10:34,292 --> 00:10:36,237 Yeah. He left. Owen Hunt is a man. 194 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,138 He doesn't sit around and wait while you play games 195 00:10:38,162 --> 00:10:40,007 and choose other people and have babies with them. 196 00:10:40,031 --> 00:10:41,030 What did you expect? 197 00:10:41,054 --> 00:10:42,294 Owen, you aren't thinking. 198 00:10:42,328 --> 00:10:44,044 Come back. Please. 199 00:10:44,068 --> 00:10:46,280 Yeah. That should do it. 200 00:10:46,304 --> 00:10:48,082 You ruined my life. 201 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,783 I ruined my life. 202 00:10:49,807 --> 00:10:50,951 You ruined my life. 203 00:10:50,975 --> 00:10:53,621 Teddy, Teddy, Teddy, please. 204 00:10:53,645 --> 00:10:54,718 I love you. 205 00:10:54,742 --> 00:10:55,804 I don't want you to love me. 206 00:10:55,858 --> 00:10:57,458 I love Owen and I-I love my kids 207 00:10:57,482 --> 00:11:00,094 and I love my family, and I... I don't... 208 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,563 I don't want you to love me and I don't want this life! 209 00:11:02,587 --> 00:11:04,098 Wait! Wait. 210 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,900 We'll work this out. 211 00:11:05,924 --> 00:11:07,101 Don't ruin your life. 212 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:08,302 Run away with me. 213 00:11:08,326 --> 00:11:10,037 I'll be in my car. 214 00:11:10,061 --> 00:11:11,138 7:00. 215 00:11:11,162 --> 00:11:13,307 Tom, this never should have happened. 216 00:11:13,331 --> 00:11:14,408 Save yourself. 217 00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:21,882 Wait. I didn't mean to... 218 00:11:36,180 --> 00:11:38,692 You know, personally, I never got what you saw in that guy. 219 00:11:38,716 --> 00:11:40,760 But I-I didn't want to hurt him. 220 00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:42,696 Well, maybe skip the grenade next time? 221 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,097 You're always blowing things up. 222 00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:45,298 No. 223 00:11:45,322 --> 00:11:47,334 No. No. 224 00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,000 Amelia and I are done. 225 00:11:50,461 --> 00:11:52,038 There's nothing standing in our way. 226 00:11:52,062 --> 00:11:53,402 - ...already... - You can't just tell me 227 00:11:53,426 --> 00:11:54,708 when to go and when to stay! 228 00:11:54,732 --> 00:11:56,543 I don't want you here anymore! 229 00:12:01,238 --> 00:12:02,716 Yeah, the snow wasn't for the soldiers. 230 00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:03,817 It was for you. 231 00:12:03,841 --> 00:12:04,906 I'm done, Owen. 232 00:12:04,945 --> 00:12:06,887 We're done. 233 00:12:08,078 --> 00:12:09,956 Owen flew halfway across the planet 234 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,291 and you just kicked him out. 235 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:13,159 Well, Meredith was right. I need to go back further. 236 00:12:13,183 --> 00:12:15,528 Pretty sure this is not what she meant by that. 237 00:12:15,552 --> 00:12:17,197 But if we are re-writing history, 238 00:12:17,221 --> 00:12:20,033 maybe you could, uh, not kill me this time? 239 00:12:20,057 --> 00:12:21,871 I'm so sorry. 240 00:12:23,594 --> 00:12:27,974 But if I never meet you, I can't hurt you. 241 00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:30,076 Owen, wait! 242 00:12:43,781 --> 00:12:45,392 Oh. 243 00:12:52,690 --> 00:12:54,501 Oh, I got to go to work. 244 00:12:54,525 --> 00:12:56,369 New boss is a real nutcracker. 245 00:12:57,546 --> 00:12:59,408 Stop it. 246 00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:04,144 Teddy, there's something I need to tell you. 247 00:13:04,168 --> 00:13:06,479 You can tell me anything. 248 00:13:06,503 --> 00:13:08,148 I love living with you. 249 00:13:08,172 --> 00:13:10,961 I love working with you but... 250 00:13:12,009 --> 00:13:13,881 but it's not enough. 251 00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:15,889 Wait, what? 252 00:13:15,913 --> 00:13:17,290 I want to marry you. 253 00:13:17,314 --> 00:13:20,026 - Right here. - Right here, in bed? 254 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,728 Mm, I'd be happy to go with living room. 255 00:13:32,796 --> 00:13:34,140 What? 256 00:13:34,164 --> 00:13:35,542 Teddy? 257 00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:36,576 Wait, what is it? 258 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,778 I just... I don't know. 259 00:13:38,802 --> 00:13:41,450 I don't want there to be any secrets between us. 260 00:13:42,606 --> 00:13:44,039 Okay. 261 00:13:45,509 --> 00:13:47,206 So, Allison. 262 00:13:48,345 --> 00:13:49,789 Um... 263 00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:53,293 She wasn't... She wasn't just my friend. 264 00:13:53,317 --> 00:13:54,922 She was... 265 00:13:55,386 --> 00:13:57,508 She was the love of my life. 266 00:13:58,655 --> 00:14:00,367 Wait, New York Allison? 267 00:14:00,391 --> 00:14:01,923 Yeah. 268 00:14:04,762 --> 00:14:06,206 Wow. 269 00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:07,974 Owen, I... I... I'm... 270 00:14:07,998 --> 00:14:09,509 Wow. 271 00:14:09,533 --> 00:14:11,277 I'm so sorry. 272 00:14:11,301 --> 00:14:13,816 I'm so sorry that you lost her. 273 00:14:15,172 --> 00:14:16,983 Yeah. 274 00:14:17,007 --> 00:14:18,618 Me too. 275 00:14:18,642 --> 00:14:21,365 Hey, I want to take all that pain and... 276 00:14:22,046 --> 00:14:23,656 I can't erase it 277 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,161 but I can spend every day trying. 278 00:14:27,418 --> 00:14:29,295 Please, marry me. 279 00:14:29,319 --> 00:14:31,364 Okay. 280 00:14:32,656 --> 00:14:34,756 Alright, okay. You look great. 281 00:14:36,093 --> 00:14:39,327 Do you, Theodora Grace Altman, take... 282 00:14:39,351 --> 00:14:41,074 Text message, sorry. 283 00:14:41,098 --> 00:14:43,176 Do you, Theodora Grace Altman, take... 284 00:14:44,375 --> 00:14:46,212 - Could you... - Yeah, of course. 285 00:14:46,236 --> 00:14:47,313 Amelia. 286 00:14:47,337 --> 00:14:49,249 "Yay wedding, yay joy. 287 00:14:49,273 --> 00:14:50,383 Xoxo." 288 00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:53,920 - We good? - Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? 289 00:14:53,944 --> 00:14:55,522 - Okay. - Okay, sorry. 290 00:14:58,449 --> 00:14:59,459 Beth. 291 00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:01,361 "Happy you're so happy." 292 00:15:01,385 --> 00:15:03,296 As in your ex-fiancée Beth? 293 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,382 - Yeah. - I didn't... I didn't know 294 00:15:04,433 --> 00:15:05,522 that you still talked to Beth. 295 00:15:05,546 --> 00:15:07,600 Why are you saying it like that? "Beth." What's...? 296 00:15:07,624 --> 00:15:09,502 Well, I-I just didn't think that you still talked to her. 297 00:15:09,526 --> 00:15:10,770 Yeah. Mondays at 11:00, 298 00:15:10,794 --> 00:15:11,905 but we had to change it today 299 00:15:11,929 --> 00:15:13,373 'cause she had her parent/teacher conference, 300 00:15:13,397 --> 00:15:14,908 but look. She's so happy for us. 301 00:15:14,932 --> 00:15:15,909 The wedding we all dream of... 302 00:15:15,933 --> 00:15:17,377 Stop it! 303 00:15:17,401 --> 00:15:18,878 Oh, my God, oh, my God. 304 00:15:18,902 --> 00:15:20,341 Cristina? 305 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,749 Cristina's bought us tickets to Switzerland 306 00:15:22,773 --> 00:15:24,784 as our wedding present. 307 00:15:24,808 --> 00:15:25,985 Wow. 308 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,720 We can... We can go stay with her 309 00:15:27,744 --> 00:15:31,091 and maybe teach a trauma class at her hospital. 310 00:15:31,115 --> 00:15:32,992 Owen, put your phone away. 311 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,828 - Yeah, anything for you. - Okay. 312 00:15:34,852 --> 00:15:36,179 Okay, as I was saying... 313 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,433 Hey, I'm home. 314 00:15:40,457 --> 00:15:42,569 So, uh, Leo will do Thanksgiving with me, 315 00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:44,037 and Christmas with you...? 316 00:15:44,061 --> 00:15:45,071 Wow. 317 00:15:45,095 --> 00:15:47,373 I didn't know we had bone china. 318 00:15:47,397 --> 00:15:48,475 Are you really sure? 319 00:15:48,499 --> 00:15:53,113 You, me, Teddy, our kids, all of us, together? 320 00:15:53,137 --> 00:15:54,147 Really? 321 00:15:54,171 --> 00:15:55,882 Wow! 322 00:15:55,906 --> 00:15:58,785 You're amazing, Amelia. 323 00:15:58,809 --> 00:15:59,851 Bye. 324 00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:01,855 Hey. So, come, sit, sit. 325 00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:03,289 Come on. 326 00:16:03,313 --> 00:16:05,636 So, uh... 327 00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:07,827 You were... You were talking to Amelia? 328 00:16:07,851 --> 00:16:09,562 Yeah, we talk every day. 329 00:16:09,586 --> 00:16:10,763 She is bringing Leo here 330 00:16:10,787 --> 00:16:13,133 so we can have the holidays all together. 331 00:16:13,157 --> 00:16:16,202 You don't think that's something that you should've asked? 332 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:17,704 It's true love, Teddy. 333 00:16:17,728 --> 00:16:19,606 You really want to ask permission? 334 00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:20,940 True... You love her? 335 00:16:20,964 --> 00:16:22,308 How can you not love Amelia? 336 00:16:22,332 --> 00:16:23,576 It's Amelia. 337 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,145 So she comes first? 338 00:16:25,169 --> 00:16:26,579 No, no, God, no. 339 00:16:26,603 --> 00:16:28,314 Cristina comes first. 340 00:16:28,338 --> 00:16:29,516 Wait. 341 00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:31,284 But you... You married me. 342 00:16:31,308 --> 00:16:32,619 You... You chose me. 343 00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:33,987 Oh, this is good. 344 00:16:34,011 --> 00:16:35,188 Listen. 345 00:16:35,212 --> 00:16:36,823 It's not your fault that you don't know how to love. 346 00:16:36,847 --> 00:16:37,890 What did you just say to me? 347 00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:38,992 - I said I love you. - Oh. 348 00:16:39,033 --> 00:16:40,994 And pass the gravy. But I also love you. 349 00:16:41,018 --> 00:16:42,762 This... This doesn't feel right. 350 00:16:42,786 --> 00:16:44,931 Because it's not. The only reason that I came here, 351 00:16:44,955 --> 00:16:47,200 the only reason that we have a baby together 352 00:16:47,224 --> 00:16:48,501 is because of Amelia. 353 00:16:50,127 --> 00:16:51,070 You know what? 354 00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,805 We really should be thanking her. 355 00:16:52,829 --> 00:16:53,940 Do you want to call her back or should I? 356 00:16:53,964 --> 00:16:55,108 Get out of my house. 357 00:16:55,132 --> 00:16:57,010 You know, you say that a lot, but you never really mean it. 358 00:16:57,034 --> 00:16:59,612 That's why I keep coming back. It's sort of our thing. 359 00:16:59,636 --> 00:17:00,980 I don't want it to be our thing. 360 00:17:01,004 --> 00:17:03,683 Well, then the only alternative is you realize 361 00:17:03,707 --> 00:17:04,918 one of these days... 362 00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:06,371 One of these days what? 363 00:17:06,398 --> 00:17:08,468 Dessert. 364 00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:09,522 Ah, yes. 365 00:17:09,546 --> 00:17:11,191 You'll burn yourself. 366 00:17:11,215 --> 00:17:12,258 I've got it, Amelia. 367 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:14,027 Teddy. It's Teddy. 368 00:17:14,051 --> 00:17:15,862 What's wrong with Teddy? 369 00:17:15,886 --> 00:17:18,398 You keep looking past me, like you always do. 370 00:17:18,422 --> 00:17:20,522 Even though I'm right here. 371 00:17:21,992 --> 00:17:23,102 Yeah, I'm done. 372 00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:25,104 I'm done. I am done waiting for you 373 00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:27,207 and feeling like this every time. I'm done. 374 00:17:27,231 --> 00:17:28,608 It's Teddy! 375 00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:30,710 I know, right? 376 00:17:30,734 --> 00:17:31,844 I love Teddy. 377 00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:35,882 But... she's no you, Amelia. 378 00:17:35,906 --> 00:17:37,450 Here. 379 00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:38,952 Eat. 380 00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:40,587 It's your favorite. 381 00:17:47,017 --> 00:17:48,294 So you guys haven't talked since... 382 00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:50,679 Since she humiliated me at work and destroyed our family? No. 383 00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,632 I was gonna say since you brought her home. 384 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,000 I just want to make sure that she's okay, 385 00:17:54,024 --> 00:17:55,201 and I'm gonna head back to the hotel. 386 00:17:55,225 --> 00:17:56,536 - Owen. - Amelia, I don't want to talk to her 387 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:59,038 because every time I do, it just makes me angrier. 388 00:17:59,062 --> 00:18:01,874 Okay? And I'm exhausted by it. 389 00:18:01,898 --> 00:18:03,409 So I'm done. 390 00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:05,044 Can you pass me the side part, please? 391 00:18:05,068 --> 00:18:06,346 What about therapy? 392 00:18:06,370 --> 00:18:08,147 - I go to therapy. - With Teddy? 393 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,816 I don't need to pay some stranger to sit there 394 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:10,883 and listen to Teddy lie to me. 395 00:18:10,907 --> 00:18:12,919 Would you cut her some slack? She just lost DeLuca. 396 00:18:12,943 --> 00:18:15,321 We all lost DeLuca. 397 00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:18,458 I was standing right across from her the day that he died. 398 00:18:18,482 --> 00:18:19,659 But we don't all have the luxury 399 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,783 of just shutting down completely. 400 00:18:24,988 --> 00:18:26,432 I want her to be well. 401 00:18:26,456 --> 00:18:28,601 Obviously I do. 402 00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:31,904 You know, Leo's been asking to see his Mama all day 403 00:18:31,928 --> 00:18:34,440 and I had to lie to him and say that she's working 404 00:18:34,464 --> 00:18:36,376 because I don't want him to see her like this. 405 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,144 He needs her, you know? 406 00:18:38,168 --> 00:18:40,832 Allison needs her. But honestly... 407 00:18:41,738 --> 00:18:42,882 Honestly, I don't. 408 00:18:42,906 --> 00:18:44,250 - Owen... - All she's ever done is lie to me. 409 00:18:44,274 --> 00:18:45,418 That's all she's ever done. 410 00:18:45,442 --> 00:18:47,654 She didn't tell me she was pregnant for months, 411 00:18:47,678 --> 00:18:51,557 she cheated on me for weeks before our wedding night, and... 412 00:18:51,581 --> 00:18:53,326 And you remember Allison? 413 00:18:53,350 --> 00:18:54,494 Teddy's best friend who died? 414 00:18:54,518 --> 00:18:55,995 The one we named our daughter after? 415 00:18:56,019 --> 00:18:57,664 Well, it turns out that she's not just her best friend. 416 00:18:57,688 --> 00:18:59,799 She's the love of Teddy's life. 417 00:18:59,823 --> 00:19:02,235 And she didn't mention it to me once 418 00:19:02,259 --> 00:19:03,936 in all the decades that we've known each other. 419 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,171 Not once. 420 00:19:05,195 --> 00:19:06,973 She just mentioned it as some kind of excuse 421 00:19:06,997 --> 00:19:08,474 for all the horrible things that she's done. 422 00:19:08,498 --> 00:19:10,910 And there's nothing I can do about it 423 00:19:10,934 --> 00:19:12,178 and talking doesn't help. 424 00:19:12,202 --> 00:19:13,880 Okay? 425 00:19:13,904 --> 00:19:16,037 So can we please just build this bed? 426 00:19:35,305 --> 00:19:36,816 I'm never gonna be enough for you. 427 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,218 You sound ridiculous. 428 00:19:47,084 --> 00:19:48,728 More lap pads. 429 00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:50,296 So much bleeding. 430 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:51,931 Suction. 431 00:19:57,394 --> 00:19:58,972 I'll make pancakes. 432 00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:05,111 Turn that monitor off! 433 00:20:06,403 --> 00:20:07,547 Hey. 434 00:20:09,106 --> 00:20:10,939 It's not gonna make any difference. 435 00:20:18,215 --> 00:20:19,926 Did you always love her? 436 00:20:19,950 --> 00:20:21,361 Allison? 437 00:20:21,385 --> 00:20:23,163 Can we talk about this somewhere else? 438 00:20:23,187 --> 00:20:26,855 Teddy, this OR is very familiar with your private life. 439 00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:29,836 Was it love at first sight? 440 00:20:32,696 --> 00:20:35,280 I was always drawn to her. 441 00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:39,868 She was the most alive person I've ever known. 442 00:20:41,138 --> 00:20:43,205 She was good. 443 00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:45,652 And she was kind. 444 00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,759 9-1-1! 445 00:20:56,954 --> 00:20:59,199 He was stuck in a bush by the bike path. 446 00:20:59,223 --> 00:21:00,400 I think he broke his leg. 447 00:21:00,424 --> 00:21:02,802 Allison, what? No, you're gonna get psittacosis. 448 00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:04,204 First off, that sounds fake. 449 00:21:04,228 --> 00:21:07,307 And second, don't you have a medical kit in your bag?! 450 00:21:07,331 --> 00:21:09,242 Okay, okay. 451 00:21:12,669 --> 00:21:16,583 Both my parents died that same year. 452 00:21:16,607 --> 00:21:17,851 She carried me through that. 453 00:21:17,875 --> 00:21:18,921 Yeah, that's my mom. 454 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:19,975 What? 455 00:21:28,919 --> 00:21:31,631 I will. I will talk to her again. 456 00:21:31,655 --> 00:21:33,266 Thank you. 457 00:21:38,128 --> 00:21:41,555 That was the maintenance manager at your mom's building again. 458 00:21:42,628 --> 00:21:45,574 Teddy, you're gonna have to go through your mom's stuff 459 00:21:45,669 --> 00:21:47,981 or they're gonna auction it off 460 00:21:48,005 --> 00:21:50,038 or... or throw it away. 461 00:21:52,075 --> 00:21:55,577 I would do it for you, but I-I don't know what to keep. 462 00:21:59,449 --> 00:22:01,828 We played Scrabble. 463 00:22:01,852 --> 00:22:03,162 You mean when you were a kid? 464 00:22:03,186 --> 00:22:05,198 Yes, but also when my dad was dying. 465 00:22:05,222 --> 00:22:07,706 We played for almost... 466 00:22:08,392 --> 00:22:10,336 Almost a year. 467 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:14,340 He was sick, so we would put the board out on the bed, 468 00:22:14,364 --> 00:22:15,942 and... 469 00:22:15,966 --> 00:22:18,467 And me and my dad and my mom. 470 00:22:19,236 --> 00:22:20,914 We played every weekend. 471 00:22:20,938 --> 00:22:24,150 My dad always won. 472 00:22:24,174 --> 00:22:26,219 Until he started to lose. 473 00:22:26,243 --> 00:22:28,268 When he started to lose... 474 00:22:29,179 --> 00:22:31,524 We had time. 475 00:22:31,548 --> 00:22:32,959 We had time to... 476 00:22:32,983 --> 00:22:35,228 To say goodbye? But we didn't say goodbye. 477 00:22:35,252 --> 00:22:36,629 We cheated so that he could win 478 00:22:36,653 --> 00:22:37,964 until he couldn't play anymore. 479 00:22:37,988 --> 00:22:39,299 And then my mom and I, we just... 480 00:22:39,323 --> 00:22:41,656 Uh, we put the board away. 481 00:22:42,492 --> 00:22:45,619 But even with... With all that time... 482 00:22:46,730 --> 00:22:49,475 it just... it... It was unimaginable 483 00:22:49,499 --> 00:22:51,411 that he could leave us. 484 00:22:51,435 --> 00:22:54,869 He would never... He would... He would never leave us. 485 00:22:58,775 --> 00:23:00,720 I always wanted a pet. 486 00:23:00,744 --> 00:23:02,221 You mean after he... He died? 487 00:23:02,245 --> 00:23:03,523 No, when I was young. 488 00:23:03,547 --> 00:23:05,692 I wanted a pet, and my dad said no. 489 00:23:05,716 --> 00:23:07,994 He said, "When you get a pet, best-case scenario 490 00:23:08,018 --> 00:23:10,930 is that you love that pet with all your heart 491 00:23:10,954 --> 00:23:15,034 and then it leaves you 'cause, you know, life span. 492 00:23:15,058 --> 00:23:18,259 So for sure a pet means heartbreak." 493 00:23:21,832 --> 00:23:24,510 He just... I... I guess he just wanted to protect me. 494 00:23:24,534 --> 00:23:26,679 But he wouldn't even let me get a gerbil 495 00:23:26,703 --> 00:23:28,414 because he didn't want me to suffer 496 00:23:28,438 --> 00:23:31,851 and then he just up and dies at age 58. 497 00:23:31,875 --> 00:23:33,886 But at least we got to play Scrabble. 498 00:23:33,910 --> 00:23:36,122 My mom just... 499 00:23:36,146 --> 00:23:37,357 You can't pack up her stuff 500 00:23:37,381 --> 00:23:39,965 because that would mean she died. 501 00:23:40,617 --> 00:23:43,029 And she can't have died because she was too young. 502 00:23:43,053 --> 00:23:45,732 And she wasn't even sick. 503 00:23:45,756 --> 00:23:50,058 And there wasn't even time for another game. 504 00:23:51,261 --> 00:23:54,496 Okay, I get it. 505 00:23:55,632 --> 00:23:58,111 But I'm gonna need the keys to your mom's place. 506 00:23:58,135 --> 00:23:59,545 - Allison... - Teddy, 507 00:23:59,569 --> 00:24:00,949 I am not letting them throw away 508 00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:02,048 that Scrabble board. 509 00:24:02,072 --> 00:24:04,550 And I'm not letting them throw away your photo albums. 510 00:24:04,574 --> 00:24:06,252 And I bet your mom wore perfume 511 00:24:06,276 --> 00:24:08,087 and I'm gonna go over there and I'm gonna find it 512 00:24:08,111 --> 00:24:09,622 and I'm gonna get one of her scarves 513 00:24:09,646 --> 00:24:11,624 because you are in shock right now, 514 00:24:11,648 --> 00:24:13,993 but one day you're gonna want some of the stuff 515 00:24:14,017 --> 00:24:17,530 that reminds you how loved you were. 516 00:24:17,554 --> 00:24:18,965 You're gonna want some of the stuff 517 00:24:18,989 --> 00:24:21,067 that came from the people who loved you too much 518 00:24:21,091 --> 00:24:23,236 to let you get a gerbil. 519 00:24:23,260 --> 00:24:25,905 The people who made you you. 520 00:24:25,929 --> 00:24:28,307 Wonderful, wonderful you. 521 00:24:39,142 --> 00:24:40,420 Whoa. 522 00:24:40,444 --> 00:24:42,444 I'm sorry. I'm... 523 00:24:44,114 --> 00:24:47,060 I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry. 524 00:25:09,940 --> 00:25:12,685 I didn't mean to hurt anyone. 525 00:25:14,277 --> 00:25:17,395 Just fell in love with Allison. 526 00:25:17,914 --> 00:25:19,525 So what did you do? 527 00:25:21,151 --> 00:25:22,862 I killed her. 528 00:25:22,886 --> 00:25:24,886 I'll make pancakes. 529 00:25:26,389 --> 00:25:28,923 I'll make pancakes. 530 00:25:30,994 --> 00:25:32,839 Oh. 531 00:25:32,863 --> 00:25:34,740 I have to go to work. 532 00:25:47,344 --> 00:25:48,521 I should have said yes. 533 00:25:48,545 --> 00:25:49,889 Teddy, you couldn't have known. 534 00:25:49,913 --> 00:25:52,625 I wanted to say yes. 535 00:25:52,649 --> 00:25:56,562 I wanted more than anything in the world 536 00:25:56,586 --> 00:25:59,465 but to stay in that room with her forever. 537 00:25:59,489 --> 00:26:02,565 If I had just said yes... 538 00:26:03,326 --> 00:26:05,276 She'd still be here. 539 00:26:06,196 --> 00:26:07,974 Maybe you'd still be here. 540 00:26:07,998 --> 00:26:09,442 Hey. 541 00:26:09,466 --> 00:26:11,577 I forgive you. 542 00:26:14,371 --> 00:26:15,248 But you are. 543 00:26:15,272 --> 00:26:17,450 You are still here. 544 00:26:17,474 --> 00:26:18,618 But I'm not. 545 00:26:18,642 --> 00:26:20,119 But you are. 546 00:26:20,143 --> 00:26:22,121 Which means... 547 00:26:23,947 --> 00:26:26,492 What if it's not too late? 548 00:26:26,516 --> 00:26:28,528 What if it can change? 549 00:26:34,824 --> 00:26:37,036 It's not too late. 550 00:26:41,164 --> 00:26:43,009 Teddy, are you okay? 551 00:26:44,301 --> 00:26:46,179 You're having a nightmare. 552 00:26:58,648 --> 00:27:00,715 I'll make pancakes. 553 00:27:02,452 --> 00:27:04,096 Okay. 554 00:27:14,262 --> 00:27:16,775 She barely naps for more than 30 minutes. 555 00:27:16,799 --> 00:27:18,944 I swear she doesn't know me since she moved in with my mom. 556 00:27:19,585 --> 00:27:21,429 Owen. 557 00:27:21,856 --> 00:27:23,100 You need to forgive Teddy. 558 00:27:23,124 --> 00:27:24,768 So you think that if I tell her that she's forgiven 559 00:27:24,792 --> 00:27:26,904 it'll bring her out of this? I mean, I can try but... 560 00:27:26,928 --> 00:27:29,306 No. No. I am not saying you need go in there and pretend. 561 00:27:29,330 --> 00:27:31,029 I'm saying... 562 00:27:31,666 --> 00:27:34,545 Owen, I-I know that Teddy hurt you badly, 563 00:27:34,569 --> 00:27:37,047 and nothing about what she did with Tom is okay. 564 00:27:37,071 --> 00:27:38,716 But... 565 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:40,718 Owen, she's Teddy. 566 00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:43,487 You have loved her in some form for decades. 567 00:27:43,511 --> 00:27:44,889 And just the fact that she was in love with Allison... 568 00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:46,156 It's not the fact that she was in love with her. 569 00:27:46,180 --> 00:27:47,791 It's the fact that she lied. 570 00:27:47,815 --> 00:27:49,126 Okay? And she lied relentlessly. 571 00:27:49,150 --> 00:27:50,161 For decades. 572 00:27:50,201 --> 00:27:51,362 She said that she's not over her. 573 00:27:51,386 --> 00:27:52,997 So not only did she cheat on me with Tom Koracick, 574 00:27:53,021 --> 00:27:55,266 she's been in love with someone else our entire relationship. 575 00:27:55,290 --> 00:27:57,735 It's despicable and she doesn't deserve my forgiveness. 576 00:27:57,759 --> 00:27:59,637 Despicable? What is wrong with you? 577 00:27:59,661 --> 00:28:00,905 What is wrong with you? 578 00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:02,006 You're taking her side. 579 00:28:02,030 --> 00:28:03,340 You're pissed because she has a Cristina, 580 00:28:03,364 --> 00:28:05,242 and you don't like it. Why can't Teddy be 581 00:28:05,266 --> 00:28:07,011 allowed to love more than one person when you have? 582 00:28:07,035 --> 00:28:08,879 I never lied about having past relationships, okay? 583 00:28:08,903 --> 00:28:10,781 - She did. - Ask yourself why, Owen! 584 00:28:10,805 --> 00:28:13,584 She probably had PTSD from losing the love of her life 585 00:28:13,608 --> 00:28:15,252 in a horrific tragedy. 586 00:28:15,276 --> 00:28:16,453 You of all people should understand that. 587 00:28:16,477 --> 00:28:17,588 Then why didn't she just tell me that? 588 00:28:17,612 --> 00:28:18,756 Do you walk around telling everyone 589 00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:20,703 about how you strangled Cristina? 590 00:28:23,585 --> 00:28:24,650 Wow. 591 00:28:26,988 --> 00:28:28,666 I think you should leave. 592 00:28:28,690 --> 00:28:32,937 Owen, her trauma response is different than yours. 593 00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:35,205 You don't get to just casually throw in my face 594 00:28:35,229 --> 00:28:36,774 the worst thing that I ever did in my life, okay? 595 00:28:36,798 --> 00:28:38,776 I did not do it casually. 596 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,912 No part of you ever, ever thought that you were capable 597 00:28:41,936 --> 00:28:44,686 of choking someone that you loved but you did it. 598 00:28:45,573 --> 00:28:46,684 I was asleep, okay? 599 00:28:46,708 --> 00:28:47,985 I-I had PTSD... 600 00:28:48,009 --> 00:28:49,320 So does she, Owen. 601 00:28:49,344 --> 00:28:51,455 So does she! 602 00:28:51,479 --> 00:28:54,391 Sometimes traumatized people lie. 603 00:28:54,415 --> 00:28:55,593 They lie to you. 604 00:28:55,617 --> 00:28:56,794 They lie to themselves. 605 00:28:56,818 --> 00:28:59,129 That does not mean that everything is a lie. 606 00:28:59,153 --> 00:29:01,398 When you were hurting, you hurt other people. 607 00:29:01,422 --> 00:29:03,767 When I was hurting, I hurt other people. 608 00:29:03,791 --> 00:29:07,137 But we both got help. Teddy needs help. 609 00:29:12,333 --> 00:29:14,078 I'll go check on her. 610 00:29:56,277 --> 00:29:59,223 Ugh, why do we even have jobs? 611 00:29:59,247 --> 00:30:00,858 Doing nothing is so much better. 612 00:30:00,882 --> 00:30:02,192 It is. 613 00:30:09,257 --> 00:30:11,356 I want to tell Claire the truth. 614 00:30:12,493 --> 00:30:13,570 She'll hate me. 615 00:30:13,594 --> 00:30:15,406 And I'll hate that. 616 00:30:15,430 --> 00:30:18,409 But she deserves the truth. 617 00:30:18,433 --> 00:30:19,843 I know. I know she does. 618 00:30:19,867 --> 00:30:22,075 I just... I don't want to hurt her. 619 00:30:23,037 --> 00:30:25,787 Life comes with pain though, Teddy. 620 00:30:26,407 --> 00:30:28,018 Life comes with pain. 621 00:30:28,042 --> 00:30:29,520 Not today. 622 00:30:29,544 --> 00:30:31,417 Today doesn't come with pain. 623 00:30:32,413 --> 00:30:33,524 Not for us. 624 00:30:33,548 --> 00:30:35,059 Not this time. 625 00:30:36,918 --> 00:30:38,383 Your dad... 626 00:30:38,886 --> 00:30:40,364 he should've let you have the gerbil. 627 00:30:51,466 --> 00:30:53,077 We've got somewhere to be? 628 00:30:53,101 --> 00:30:55,379 No, no, no, no. 629 00:30:55,403 --> 00:30:58,582 I just... I never want this moment to end. 630 00:31:07,982 --> 00:31:09,326 Something's going on. 631 00:31:09,350 --> 00:31:12,096 Uh, we-we're okay. 632 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,263 No, but something's wrong. 633 00:31:13,287 --> 00:31:14,665 I know, but... but we're okay. 634 00:31:14,689 --> 00:31:15,933 You're with me. 635 00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:17,468 You know what? 636 00:31:17,492 --> 00:31:19,303 You're right. Let's tell Claire. 637 00:31:19,327 --> 00:31:20,537 She deserves to know the truth. 638 00:31:20,561 --> 00:31:21,905 She'll hate me because losing you 639 00:31:21,929 --> 00:31:23,140 is the worst thing in the world. 640 00:31:23,164 --> 00:31:26,276 But she won't hate you. I promise she won't hate you. 641 00:31:26,300 --> 00:31:27,945 Because, Allison, it's impossible 642 00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:29,780 to do anything but love you. 643 00:31:32,340 --> 00:31:33,584 What do you think? 644 00:31:35,176 --> 00:31:37,054 I smell smoke. 645 00:31:37,078 --> 00:31:39,022 Do you smell smoke? 646 00:31:39,046 --> 00:31:41,158 No, no, no, no, you're with me. 647 00:31:41,182 --> 00:31:42,182 You're safe. 648 00:31:43,451 --> 00:31:44,495 I can't breathe. 649 00:31:48,289 --> 00:31:50,234 Allison, don't leave me. 650 00:31:50,258 --> 00:31:52,102 No, please don't leave me. 651 00:31:52,126 --> 00:31:53,537 Allison. 652 00:31:53,561 --> 00:31:56,974 Don't leave me, Allison. 653 00:31:56,998 --> 00:31:58,575 Come on! 654 00:31:58,599 --> 00:31:59,810 Come on, Allison. 655 00:32:01,035 --> 00:32:02,179 Please don't leave me, Allison! 656 00:32:02,203 --> 00:32:03,447 Clear! 657 00:32:05,239 --> 00:32:06,717 Charge to 200. Clear! 658 00:32:08,609 --> 00:32:10,254 300! Clear! 659 00:32:13,915 --> 00:32:15,959 Teddy, I'm sorry. 660 00:32:15,983 --> 00:32:17,416 This is over. 661 00:32:21,889 --> 00:32:23,901 Time of death, 662 00:32:23,925 --> 00:32:26,303 September 11, 2001, 663 00:32:26,327 --> 00:32:28,105 9:59 a.m. 664 00:32:43,396 --> 00:32:44,775 It's all my fault. 665 00:32:44,799 --> 00:32:47,744 It's all my fault. 666 00:33:44,289 --> 00:33:46,267 I just got her back down. 667 00:33:46,330 --> 00:33:48,375 I think she knows there's something going on with her mom, 668 00:33:48,435 --> 00:33:51,113 so she's just off. 669 00:33:51,137 --> 00:33:52,381 Yeah. 670 00:33:52,405 --> 00:33:53,382 I know you want me to leave. 671 00:33:53,406 --> 00:33:55,785 But I am here because I love you 672 00:33:55,809 --> 00:33:57,457 and I want to help you. 673 00:33:58,311 --> 00:33:59,789 You know, it almost would've been easier 674 00:33:59,813 --> 00:34:01,457 if she'd just run away with Koracick. 675 00:34:01,481 --> 00:34:03,047 You know? 676 00:34:04,784 --> 00:34:05,928 You ever think about doing that? 677 00:34:05,952 --> 00:34:10,232 Just getting in the car and driving away? 678 00:34:10,256 --> 00:34:13,469 A feeling of being free from all responsibilities, 679 00:34:13,493 --> 00:34:15,171 even just for a second... 680 00:34:15,195 --> 00:34:18,374 no kids, no messy relationships, 681 00:34:18,398 --> 00:34:20,643 no dying patients... 682 00:34:20,667 --> 00:34:21,911 If you'd have asked me that six months ago, 683 00:34:21,935 --> 00:34:23,913 I would have said no, but now... 684 00:34:23,937 --> 00:34:25,401 of course I do. 685 00:34:26,940 --> 00:34:28,784 I don't know how to describe it. 686 00:34:28,808 --> 00:34:30,419 It's like... 687 00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:32,621 It's like there's this... 688 00:34:32,645 --> 00:34:33,823 blanket on top of me. 689 00:34:33,847 --> 00:34:38,461 Like a wet, heavy blanket of just... fatigue. 690 00:34:38,485 --> 00:34:39,543 Defense. 691 00:34:39,567 --> 00:34:40,896 What? 692 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:42,498 When I get that blanket feeling? 693 00:34:42,522 --> 00:34:45,267 It's because I'm defending 694 00:34:45,291 --> 00:34:49,675 against having to feel anger, rage, hurt. 695 00:34:50,930 --> 00:34:52,512 She hurt you. 696 00:34:53,266 --> 00:34:55,010 You're hurt. 697 00:34:56,436 --> 00:34:59,303 Well, it's easier to just feel numb. 698 00:35:00,707 --> 00:35:02,551 You don't have to go back to her. 699 00:35:02,575 --> 00:35:07,356 But you cannot afford to spend every day hating her. 700 00:35:07,380 --> 00:35:09,058 It's too hard. 701 00:35:09,082 --> 00:35:11,393 That blanket will never lift. 702 00:35:14,487 --> 00:35:16,654 I don't know. W-What do I do? 703 00:35:18,825 --> 00:35:22,004 In NA, we pray for the people we resent. 704 00:35:22,028 --> 00:35:23,339 It's the worst. 705 00:35:23,363 --> 00:35:25,920 I always hate it. 706 00:35:26,866 --> 00:35:30,546 We pray for them to get well. 707 00:35:30,570 --> 00:35:33,349 Uh, for them to find happiness, 708 00:35:33,373 --> 00:35:36,652 get all of the things that we would want for ourselves. 709 00:35:36,676 --> 00:35:40,322 And we do it every day, for weeks. 710 00:35:40,346 --> 00:35:44,426 And I don't know why it works but it does. 711 00:35:44,450 --> 00:35:47,029 The resentment lifts and forgiveness sets in. 712 00:35:47,053 --> 00:35:48,164 Then you coparent. 713 00:35:48,188 --> 00:35:51,233 And maybe eventually... 714 00:35:51,257 --> 00:35:52,768 something can be rebuilt. 715 00:35:54,727 --> 00:35:56,672 I don't think I can do that. 716 00:35:57,830 --> 00:35:59,742 You can do it. 717 00:35:59,766 --> 00:36:01,497 You've done it before. 718 00:36:02,368 --> 00:36:04,113 You did it with me. 719 00:36:11,377 --> 00:36:13,022 It's all my fault. 720 00:36:13,046 --> 00:36:14,590 All of this is your fault? 721 00:36:14,614 --> 00:36:17,193 Yes! My parents, Allison, Henry, DeLuca... 722 00:36:17,217 --> 00:36:19,328 Don't say me. I'm still here. 723 00:36:19,352 --> 00:36:21,330 I couldn't save them. I should have saved them! 724 00:36:21,354 --> 00:36:24,767 No. Even I know that they couldn't be saved. 725 00:36:24,791 --> 00:36:26,669 I don't know what happened with your parents, 726 00:36:26,693 --> 00:36:29,405 but Allison and DeLuca were tragic casualties 727 00:36:29,429 --> 00:36:32,308 of circumstances you had no power to control. 728 00:36:32,332 --> 00:36:34,343 And Henry... Henry was already dying 729 00:36:34,367 --> 00:36:36,378 - when you married him. - I love Owen. 730 00:36:36,402 --> 00:36:37,546 You run from pain. 731 00:36:37,570 --> 00:36:40,482 Your parents died and you ran to Allison. 732 00:36:40,506 --> 00:36:44,153 Allison died, and you joined the Army and ran to Owen. 733 00:36:44,177 --> 00:36:48,090 Owen chose Cristina, you dove into Henry. 734 00:36:48,114 --> 00:36:49,358 This isn't fair. 735 00:36:49,382 --> 00:36:52,261 And then Owen is with Amelia, and you used Koracick. 736 00:36:52,285 --> 00:36:54,263 Please stop. Stop it. 737 00:36:54,287 --> 00:36:55,419 You run from pain, Teddy. 738 00:36:55,477 --> 00:36:56,565 - Stop it. - We all do it. 739 00:36:56,589 --> 00:36:58,801 Something terrible happens, 740 00:36:58,825 --> 00:37:00,703 we blame ourselves and we don't want to feel it 741 00:37:00,727 --> 00:37:02,266 so we run. 742 00:37:02,829 --> 00:37:04,607 We run from joy too because we think 743 00:37:04,631 --> 00:37:06,175 we don't deserve happiness. 744 00:37:06,199 --> 00:37:07,843 But it's a package deal. 745 00:37:07,867 --> 00:37:09,745 There is no joy without pain. 746 00:37:12,472 --> 00:37:14,950 Come on, Teddy. Let's leave this place. 747 00:37:16,209 --> 00:37:17,987 Please don't die. 748 00:37:18,011 --> 00:37:19,700 I'll do my best. 749 00:37:33,326 --> 00:37:35,237 There's a problem with trying to understand 750 00:37:35,261 --> 00:37:37,439 every mistake you've made... 751 00:37:37,463 --> 00:37:38,907 you can't. 752 00:37:42,235 --> 00:37:44,079 And trying to robs you 753 00:37:44,103 --> 00:37:47,449 of your life, your plans, your future. 754 00:37:50,710 --> 00:37:53,055 Plus, you can't really learn from your mistakes 755 00:37:53,079 --> 00:37:54,456 if you stop moving forward. 756 00:37:59,252 --> 00:38:01,797 You sure you don't want me to stay? 757 00:38:01,821 --> 00:38:03,432 Probably a stupid question. 758 00:38:03,456 --> 00:38:05,028 Just call me if you need me. 759 00:38:05,063 --> 00:38:06,135 Yeah. 760 00:38:06,159 --> 00:38:07,703 Hey, thank you. 761 00:38:07,727 --> 00:38:09,672 For everything. I mean it. 762 00:38:09,696 --> 00:38:11,127 I know you do. 763 00:38:11,664 --> 00:38:13,509 Oh, and especially thank you for helping with that bed. 764 00:38:13,533 --> 00:38:15,444 I'm gonna share credit with Leo. 765 00:38:15,468 --> 00:38:17,012 Alright, just don't break it if you get mad. 766 00:38:17,036 --> 00:38:19,581 I'm not gonna... Okay, yeah. 767 00:38:19,605 --> 00:38:20,949 Bye. 768 00:38:25,345 --> 00:38:27,222 It's scary. It's uncertain. 769 00:38:28,614 --> 00:38:30,993 But you'll find something pretty special there... 770 00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:33,862 Shh. Shh. 771 00:38:35,488 --> 00:38:36,902 I'm here. 772 00:38:38,157 --> 00:38:39,739 I'm here. 773 00:38:52,171 --> 00:38:53,982 I'm here. 774 00:38:55,141 --> 00:38:56,118 ...hope. 775 00:38:58,016 --> 00:39:03,304 CREDITS