1
00:00:06,732 --> 00:00:08,674
Homer, get your lazy butt out of bed!

2
00:00:08,825 --> 00:00:10,083
You're gonna be late for work!

3
00:00:11,589 --> 00:00:13,012
Going to work!

4
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:27,434
Hey, what's the haps, pop-diggity?

5
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,269
D'oh! What's wrong with you?

6
00:00:29,438 --> 00:00:32,756
Can't you talk like a
normal 55-year-old man?

7
00:00:32,816 --> 00:00:35,108
You'll never understand hip-hop, Dad.

8
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,052
I understand plenty.

9
00:00:37,112 --> 00:00:38,945
You're wasting your life

10
00:00:39,098 --> 00:00:41,189
trying to be some kind of "d'jay."

11
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,708
It's DJ, dad.

12
00:00:42,859 --> 00:00:44,951
You'll see, I'm gonna have my moment.

13
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,362
Check your watch... it's Homer Time!

14
00:00:49,775 --> 00:00:51,291
Where you going, Homer?

15
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,260
To my happy place.

16
00:00:58,875 --> 00:01:00,967
All right team,
the word of the day is "upsell."

17
00:01:01,136 --> 00:01:04,063
Every medium pizza should be extra-large

18
00:01:04,214 --> 00:01:06,565
and every thin-crust
should be deep dish.

19
00:01:06,792 --> 00:01:08,734
Mozzarella is money.

20
00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:11,737
Do I make myself as clear
as this Crystal Pepsi?

21
00:01:11,964 --> 00:01:13,005
Ah.

22
00:01:13,132 --> 00:01:14,965
Ah, pointless.

23
00:01:14,983 --> 00:01:16,909
Okay, everyone, it's showtime.

24
00:01:17,136 --> 00:01:19,661
Homer, plug in the band.

25
00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:22,656
What's up, party people?

26
00:01:22,825 --> 00:01:24,583
Put your greasy hands together

27
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:28,462
for the Razzle Dazzle
Rockin' Rollin' Revue!

28
00:01:33,168 --> 00:01:36,095
* A-one, two, three o'clock,
four o'clock, pizza *

29
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,672
* A-five, six, seven o'clock,
eight o'clock, pizza *

30
00:01:38,841 --> 00:01:41,749
* We're gonna pizza
around the pizza tonight *

31
00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:49,666
* We're gonna pizza around *

32
00:01:49,759 --> 00:01:53,654
* The pizza tonight. *

33
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,954
Oh, listen to that applause, Wakkety.

34
00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:04,681
Those kids love pizza rock!

35
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,792
You suck, Yak.

36
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,463
Kids, I tell you,
our pizza can't be beat.

37
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,283
Pizza can't... I... beat kids...

38
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:18,028
I beat kids. I beat kids.

39
00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:21,381
That robot's threatening the kids.

40
00:02:21,533 --> 00:02:22,716
Everyone's leaving.

41
00:02:24,036 --> 00:02:25,394
Do something!

42
00:02:26,463 --> 00:02:28,564
This is my moment.

43
00:02:35,063 --> 00:02:36,229
* All right, stop *

44
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,564
* Grab a plate and listen *

45
00:02:37,716 --> 00:02:39,307
* Yak is back with a menu addition *

46
00:02:39,401 --> 00:02:41,643
* Regular toppings
don't get the job done *

47
00:02:41,737 --> 00:02:43,570
* Premium toppings
get my mouth sprung *

48
00:02:43,722 --> 00:02:45,722
* Slice, slice, baby *

49
00:02:45,891 --> 00:02:47,649
- * Sun-dried tomatoes *
- Oh! - Ah!

50
00:02:47,743 --> 00:02:49,651
* Slice, slice, baby *

51
00:02:49,745 --> 00:02:51,819
- * Canadian bacon *
- Whoa! - Yeah.

52
00:02:51,914 --> 00:02:53,914
* Slice, slice, baby *

53
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:55,990
- * Kalamata olives *
- Yeah! - Whoa!

54
00:02:56,084 --> 00:02:58,010
* Slice, slice, baby *

55
00:02:58,576 --> 00:03:00,512
* Premium toppings, yo *

56
00:03:00,739 --> 00:03:02,330
You know what, instead of pepperoni,

57
00:03:02,424 --> 00:03:04,165
let's get the Canadian bacon.

58
00:03:04,259 --> 00:03:06,518
So premium.

59
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,094
* Sauce to your pizza. *

60
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,692
That was a heck of a show.

61
00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:17,103
I was selling Nutzo Bread
like it was Weirdo Wedges.

62
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,758
Say, instead of pizza
versions of old songs,

63
00:03:21,927 --> 00:03:24,686
we should be playing pizza
versions of new songs.

64
00:03:24,896 --> 00:03:27,447
Homer, I want you
to create a whole new show,

65
00:03:27,616 --> 00:03:29,857
ripping off the music you care about.

66
00:03:30,512 --> 00:03:33,603
All the Ices from Cube to T.

67
00:03:33,772 --> 00:03:34,963
Thank you, Mr. Gunderson.

68
00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:38,458
Guys, we got a lot of work to do.

69
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,219
I beat kids.

70
00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:43,797
Beat kids. Beat kids.

71
00:03:44,696 --> 00:03:45,473
Dad, tonight's

72
00:03:45,542 --> 00:03:47,467
my big show at the pizza place.
You're coming, right?

73
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:50,454
Son, I don't know quite
how to put this, but

74
00:03:50,622 --> 00:03:52,789
you're a fool and your
dreams are garbage.

75
00:03:52,808 --> 00:03:55,067
Now, get out of here before
I say something I'll regret.

76
00:03:55,294 --> 00:03:58,311
I'll show you who's a fool.

77
00:03:59,982 --> 00:04:01,064
Such a jerk.

78
00:04:05,471 --> 00:04:06,653
Big crowd out there.

79
00:04:06,822 --> 00:04:08,580
You guys are gonna be great tonight.

80
00:04:08,807 --> 00:04:10,231
I know it.

81
00:04:10,325 --> 00:04:12,659
That's okay, it's just nerves.

82
00:04:12,828 --> 00:04:14,644
Dah, the place is packed.

83
00:04:14,813 --> 00:04:16,663
This is why I went into business...

84
00:04:16,832 --> 00:04:19,591
to make money.

85
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:24,263
Homer Cool J Simpson
presents the new and improved

86
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:28,325
Phuntime Phunky Phour!

87
00:04:28,343 --> 00:04:30,418
* Whoomp, there it is... pizza *

88
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,105
* Whoomp, there it is... pizza *

89
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,503
* Whoomp, there it is. *

90
00:04:39,671 --> 00:04:40,837
Whoomp, who are you?

91
00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:43,282
FBI. We're shutting this place down.

92
00:04:43,930 --> 00:04:46,176
This business is a front
for drug trafficking.

93
00:04:46,269 --> 00:04:48,178
Confiscate those robots.

94
00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:50,013
But they're innocent.

95
00:04:50,032 --> 00:04:52,273
You're just harassing them
because they're rappers.

96
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,778
D'ope!

97
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,463
That cocaine isn't mine.

98
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,524
I never touch sweet, sweet booger sugar.

99
00:05:00,692 --> 00:05:03,376
Let's all buy Beemers with
hundred-CD disc changers...

100
00:05:03,545 --> 00:05:04,861
they fill the whole trunk!

101
00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:06,454
MTV, baby!

102
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,959
No, don't take my friends.

103
00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:13,294
No!

104
00:05:16,299 --> 00:05:17,607
Told ya.

105
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:25,549
And I never saw my robot friends again.

106
00:05:26,606 --> 00:05:27,993
So... are we still

107
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:30,403
going to Ralph's birthday party?

108
00:05:30,556 --> 00:05:33,984
Never! This is where my dreams died.

109
00:05:34,226 --> 00:05:35,817
I almost didn't get these cones,

110
00:05:36,027 --> 00:05:39,320
and you know what, I'm glad I did.

111
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:52,667
Homie, it's been three days
since that terrible memory

112
00:05:52,761 --> 00:05:55,745
came back, and you haven't
said anything about it.

113
00:05:55,764 --> 00:05:57,597
Oh. That?

114
00:05:57,749 --> 00:05:59,841
What a silly thing to get upset about.

115
00:05:59,935 --> 00:06:03,103
I totally overreacted.
It's all in the past now.

116
00:06:03,255 --> 00:06:05,012
Oops, don't want to be late for work.

117
00:06:05,181 --> 00:06:07,181
Love you. Love you all.

118
00:06:08,269 --> 00:06:10,869
I can't stand to see him like this.

119
00:06:11,096 --> 00:06:12,704
What? Dad looks happy.

120
00:06:12,931 --> 00:06:15,249
Something's deeply wrong.

121
00:06:15,284 --> 00:06:17,450
He's missing his youthful spirit,

122
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,619
that spark that makes him who he is.

123
00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:22,864
Did you see how he ate his breakfast?

124
00:06:23,902 --> 00:06:25,898
He didn't shuffle his pancakes

125
00:06:25,933 --> 00:06:27,293
like a deck of cards.

126
00:06:27,462 --> 00:06:29,370
He doesn't air-drum while driving

127
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:32,782
or race the dog in butt
scooting across the carpet.

128
00:06:32,876 --> 00:06:34,226
And he always won.

129
00:06:34,377 --> 00:06:37,303
He's not my Homie anymore.

130
00:06:37,472 --> 00:06:38,972
We didn't notice any of that.

131
00:06:40,207 --> 00:06:42,234
A wife knows.

132
00:06:42,461 --> 00:06:44,552
And a bartender. He's just...

133
00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:46,146
he's just not the same.

134
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,815
He don't spin Barney around
on the stool no more.

135
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,761
He don't drink beer from a crazy
straw... just a sensible straw.

136
00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:56,415
What are we gonna do about
our little man, Midge?

137
00:06:56,642 --> 00:07:00,568
We're just gonna have to
love him that much more.

138
00:07:00,662 --> 00:07:03,830
I didn't think that was possible.

139
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:09,148
I'm used to seeing Mom
upset about Dad, but Moe...

140
00:07:09,183 --> 00:07:10,625
that really shook me.

141
00:07:10,660 --> 00:07:12,322
How do we heal the 14-year-old boy

142
00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:15,544
who lost the thing he
cared most about...

143
00:07:15,579 --> 00:07:18,270
rapping pizza robots?

144
00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:21,347
What? It's a very Dad kind of trauma.

145
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:25,590
Well, if losing those robots
screwed him up,

146
00:07:25,625 --> 00:07:29,031
what if we somehow found them again?

147
00:07:29,066 --> 00:07:32,117
Hmm. Dad told us
Gil used to be his boss,

148
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:34,286
so maybe Gil could help us.

149
00:07:34,513 --> 00:07:37,831
And I know just where to find him.

150
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,730
_

151
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:50,684
Razzle Dazzle's...
that was many lives ago.

152
00:07:50,778 --> 00:07:53,112
I was top of the heap, making kids happy

153
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,615
with music and pizza.

154
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,117
My Dad said you were also selling drugs.

155
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,436
Ah, the drugs sold themselves, kid.

156
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,696
The whole world was my nostril.

157
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,441
Look, after you "went away,"

158
00:08:05,534 --> 00:08:07,034
what happened to those singing robots?

159
00:08:07,128 --> 00:08:09,112
Well, the FBI sold them at auction,

160
00:08:09,205 --> 00:08:11,631
but I never lost track of my babies.

161
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,633
I'm gonna get those robots back,

162
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:16,043
and start a new kiddie pizza place,

163
00:08:16,137 --> 00:08:19,122
then use that as a front
to sell even better drugs!

164
00:08:19,955 --> 00:08:21,215
Gimme that.

165
00:08:21,622 --> 00:08:24,127
This is it. They're all here.

166
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:27,888
Lis, we're getting
the band back together.

167
00:08:36,232 --> 00:08:38,157
You can't take Jive Turkey.

168
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,251
He's the centerpiece of
my priceless collection

169
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,587
of disco memorabilia.

170
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,664
For God's sake, Stuart.

171
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,499
Get rid of this stuff.

172
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:50,336
You've wasted your life on
America's worst music craze.

173
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:53,932
I'm just glad your father,
Doo-Wop Steve,

174
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,267
didn't live to see this.

175
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:59,103
Hmm... Take him.

176
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,754
Thank you, Mrs...

177
00:09:00,923 --> 00:09:02,923
Public Domain Debbie.

178
00:09:03,017 --> 00:09:06,760
* On top of Old Smoky *

179
00:09:06,854 --> 00:09:09,489
* All covered in snow. *

180
00:09:10,933 --> 00:09:14,026
Please, Professor. This mechanical...

181
00:09:14,195 --> 00:09:15,695
what is it, a beaver?

182
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:19,889
it's the key to my husband's
emotional recovery.

183
00:09:19,924 --> 00:09:21,350
Aw...

184
00:09:21,777 --> 00:09:24,203
Well, I understand that need
to develop an attachment

185
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,465
to a piece of machinery
to combat loneliness.

186
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:28,967
What do-what do you say, boys,

187
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:31,043
should I...
should I just let her have him?

188
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,045
Free him, you monster.

189
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,380
Free all of us.

190
00:09:34,549 --> 00:09:37,383
He programs us to lose.

191
00:09:39,962 --> 00:09:43,314
Hmm. Why would I,
a major local celebrity,

192
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:46,058
possess a robot from a
defunct pizza parlor?

193
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,060
The very notion is absurd.

194
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:49,970
Oh, of course. I'm sorry, sir.

195
00:09:50,064 --> 00:09:51,897
My mistake. Sorry to bother you.

196
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,993
Oh, uh, there is one more thing, sir.

197
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,719
I see that you go
through a lot of this, uh,

198
00:09:56,738 --> 00:09:59,480
mechanical oil stuff here.

199
00:09:59,574 --> 00:10:03,001
Well, there's a perfectly
logical explanation, Bartender.

200
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:07,321
I spray it on my rusty door hinges.

201
00:10:07,415 --> 00:10:09,173
Oh, right, now I get it.

202
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,441
You don't want anyone to know that

203
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,568
a respectable gent like yourself

204
00:10:12,587 --> 00:10:15,013
is using this here WD-40

205
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,681
and this silk kimono

206
00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:19,517
and this Enrique Iglesias CD

207
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,686
with your sex robot!

208
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,254
Oh, yeah, the yak.

209
00:10:31,347 --> 00:10:33,364
I used him to test the Kevlar vests.

210
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,258
I liked the way he
would sing about pizza

211
00:10:35,351 --> 00:10:37,109
every time I shot him in the chest.

212
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:40,521
You're a little late, though.
I just sold him to those guys.

213
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,024
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where-where are you going with that?

214
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:47,436
We're taking it to the new
local offices of J.J. Abrams.

215
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:48,954
J.J. Abrams.

216
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:53,109
What's a big Hollywood
director doing in Springfield?

217
00:10:53,202 --> 00:10:55,219
Making the next Mission: Impossible.

218
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,463
Downtown Springfield's
standing in for Somalia.

219
00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,782
What does he want with
this rickety piece of junk?

220
00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:01,041
As a visionary genius,

221
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:02,727
J.J. needs to be kept

222
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,637
in a constant state of childlike wonder,

223
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:07,456
so we fill his creative
space with kitsch,

224
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,458
whimsy, memorabilia.

225
00:11:10,886 --> 00:11:12,795
J.J. needs a Garbage
Pail Kids pinball machine

226
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:15,531
and a roll of 1982 quarters.

227
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:17,825
Go, go, go!

228
00:11:19,274 --> 00:11:21,305
_

229
00:11:21,934 --> 00:11:23,406
Can I help you?

230
00:11:23,441 --> 00:11:24,898
Yeah, we're a cool, young,

231
00:11:24,992 --> 00:11:28,327
brother-sister directing
team and we'd like to speak

232
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:32,406
to a low-level executive
about a vague idea we have.

233
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,092
Super vague.

234
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,885
Right away!

235
00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:47,012
There's the yak.

236
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:49,774
But how are we gonna get it out of here?

237
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:01,602
Step away from the kitsch.

238
00:12:01,696 --> 00:12:04,438
What are you thinking, trying to
steal from a Hollywood big shot?

239
00:12:04,532 --> 00:12:06,565
That's like murdering a dozen normos.

240
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:09,034
Sorry, Dad. We thought
it would make you happy

241
00:12:09,203 --> 00:12:11,295
if we got your old band back together.

242
00:12:11,447 --> 00:12:15,040
The Phuntime Phunky Phour?
That's impossible.

243
00:12:15,209 --> 00:12:18,386
I'll never see those guys... again.

244
00:12:19,455 --> 00:12:21,305
Yak.

245
00:12:21,457 --> 00:12:22,640
It's you.

246
00:12:22,791 --> 00:12:25,393
What a touching scene.

247
00:12:26,462 --> 00:12:27,979
I know just how to shoot it.

248
00:12:28,130 --> 00:12:29,538
- It's J.J.!
- Roll his calls!

249
00:12:29,557 --> 00:12:30,982
Don't step on his shadow.

250
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,651
Oh, no, I'm wearing
the same shirt as him. Aah!

251
00:12:33,802 --> 00:12:35,561
- Hi, I'm J.J.
- Homer Jay.

252
00:12:35,730 --> 00:12:37,546
Sorry my kids tried to steal from you.

253
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:38,731
It's just that they were trying

254
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:42,326
to get this old robot back, so... so...

255
00:12:42,478 --> 00:12:44,553
So they could reunite the
entire animatronic band

256
00:12:44,572 --> 00:12:46,831
to heal the broken
teenager inside of you.

257
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:50,501
How did you know my secret pain?

258
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,503
I didn't. My storytelling sense told me

259
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,339
this was the only emotionally
cathartic end to your journey.

260
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,541
Master of story!

261
00:12:57,768 --> 00:13:00,569
He's the ultimate architect
of cinematic universes,

262
00:13:00,663 --> 00:13:02,405
and my dad's friend.

263
00:13:02,498 --> 00:13:03,514
Mm...

264
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:06,350
I need to see all the robots together.

265
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:07,685
Wipe to...

266
00:13:09,369 --> 00:13:10,579
Foxxy, Turkey,

267
00:13:10,598 --> 00:13:12,356
Hippie, and Wakkety!

268
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:14,266
You're all here.

269
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,527
I've never seen such
genuine childlike wonder.

270
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,754
And I've been to dozens
of test screenings.

271
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,847
Homer, your emotional
connection to these characters

272
00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,591
has shown me that your journey can be

273
00:13:22,685 --> 00:13:23,759
a universal experience,

274
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,761
- or at least Dreamworks.
- What?

275
00:13:25,854 --> 00:13:28,368
I have wonderful news:
I'm gonna make these robots

276
00:13:28,403 --> 00:13:30,933
the stars of their own
nine-movie franchise.

277
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:32,268
Buy the underlying IP.

278
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,361
- Done. You own it.
- Fantastic.

279
00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:36,105
- Take them away.
- Take them?

280
00:13:36,198 --> 00:13:37,773
But we just got reunited.

281
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,290
Oh, but I need them.
My visual effects artists

282
00:13:40,325 --> 00:13:41,831
have to scan them into supercomputers

283
00:13:41,866 --> 00:13:43,629
so our mind-blowing reboot
will make its release date:

284
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:46,782
March 30... the new Fourth of July.

285
00:13:46,875 --> 00:13:47,919
No!

286
00:13:52,047 --> 00:13:55,066
No! The same thing happened again,

287
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:57,568
but slightly different, years later.

288
00:13:58,646 --> 00:13:59,695
It's what I do.

289
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,822
I had them back and I lost them again.

290
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,899
Homie, I know how hard this is for you.

291
00:14:13,068 --> 00:14:15,494
I always say you shouldn't do this,

292
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:18,071
but maybe... just this once...

293
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,240
you should go eat your feelings.

294
00:14:20,409 --> 00:14:22,576
Six feelings with extra cheese.

295
00:14:22,670 --> 00:14:23,986
An order of French feelings,

296
00:14:24,079 --> 00:14:27,748
and a super chocolate frosty depression.

297
00:14:27,916 --> 00:14:30,250
I also recommend a hot apple cry.

298
00:14:30,344 --> 00:14:33,354
Yes, I recognize
a fellow sadness swallower.

299
00:14:34,590 --> 00:14:38,334
And then J.J. Abrams
took my robots away...

300
00:14:38,427 --> 00:14:41,170
so he could reboot them.

301
00:14:41,263 --> 00:14:43,672
Why do Hollywood guys
only want to make movies?

302
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:47,374
I used to be like you,
getting angry at filmmakers

303
00:14:47,409 --> 00:14:50,077
who ruined my favorite
childhood characters,

304
00:14:50,112 --> 00:14:51,956
stewing in silence. But now,

305
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:55,701
thanks to the Internet,
I can fight back.

306
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,703
- You can?
- Oh, yes, my friend.

307
00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:59,188
It is called "trolling."

308
00:14:59,281 --> 00:15:02,541
Thanks to social media
super-soldiers like myself,

309
00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:04,969
studios spent millions to remove

310
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:07,863
Sonic the Hedgehog's creepy human teeth.

311
00:15:07,956 --> 00:15:09,715
We changed the world

312
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:11,976
of video game adaptations I never saw.

313
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,203
Then I'll do it. I'll become a troll,

314
00:15:14,296 --> 00:15:15,980
stop J.J. Abrams' reboot,

315
00:15:16,223 --> 00:15:18,724
and save my childhood.

316
00:15:18,893 --> 00:15:20,801
And now I'm eating a feeling

317
00:15:20,969 --> 00:15:22,862
I've never felt before.

318
00:15:24,901 --> 00:15:27,157
_

319
00:15:28,669 --> 00:15:29,760
_

320
00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:47,461
Marge, I've done it.

321
00:15:47,588 --> 00:15:48,754
The boycott is gaining momentum...

322
00:15:48,772 --> 00:15:51,423
the supportive comments are pouring in.

323
00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:53,775
Three of them!

324
00:15:53,928 --> 00:15:57,095
Homer, please.
You've missed so much of your life.

325
00:15:57,114 --> 00:15:58,430
Of our lives.

326
00:15:58,449 --> 00:16:00,708
It's only a movie.

327
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,714
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Maybe I have been

328
00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:09,291
taking this nostalgia-fueled
vendetta too far.

329
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,886
Pizza movie news alert.

330
00:16:13,113 --> 00:16:14,888
Hey, Springfield. I'm inviting you

331
00:16:15,115 --> 00:16:17,449
to come to the Aztec Theatre
tonight for a special preview

332
00:16:17,542 --> 00:16:20,210
of my new animated movie,
Agents of P.I.Z.Z.A.

333
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:24,122
How dare he do what he
said he was gonna do!

334
00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:25,640
I paused just long enough
for anyone watching

335
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:28,794
to say something.
And now, here's a little...

336
00:16:28,963 --> 00:16:31,363
"slice" of what you'll see tonight.

337
00:16:31,364 --> 00:16:33,466
_

338
00:16:33,467 --> 00:16:36,301
They'll save the world in 90 minutes...

339
00:16:36,394 --> 00:16:38,228
or the movie is free.

340
00:16:38,396 --> 00:16:40,639
Written by Tony Kushner
and Babaloo Mandel.

341
00:16:40,808 --> 00:16:42,474
No. This reimagining

342
00:16:42,609 --> 00:16:44,918
is worse than I could
have ever imagined.

343
00:16:45,145 --> 00:16:48,146
I've got to stop that screening.

344
00:16:50,834 --> 00:16:54,336
There's only one person
who can help my Homie now.

345
00:16:54,488 --> 00:16:56,430
- Who are you calling?
- No, don't tell us...

346
00:16:56,657 --> 00:16:58,348
It'll be cooler when we find out later.

347
00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:03,920
Reboots suck and you're to blame,

348
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:06,440
make it different, but the same!

349
00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:09,017
Thank you, loyal trolls, for joining me

350
00:17:09,169 --> 00:17:10,352
in my passion project:

351
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:13,947
destroying someone
else's passion project.

352
00:17:14,174 --> 00:17:17,267
Yes, every fan deserves movies
that are individually tailored

353
00:17:17,435 --> 00:17:19,678
to their preconceived ideas.

354
00:17:19,847 --> 00:17:22,864
Let's ruin everyone's night!

355
00:17:24,685 --> 00:17:26,852
Welcome to this preview
of Agents of P.I.Z.Z.A.,

356
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:28,111
featuring the voice talents

357
00:17:28,205 --> 00:17:30,113
of whoever was famous eight months ago.

358
00:17:31,616 --> 00:17:33,041
But the real heroes are the thousands

359
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,377
of computer artists who
worked around the clock,

360
00:17:35,546 --> 00:17:37,471
slowly going blind,
at such effects houses as

361
00:17:37,622 --> 00:17:39,548
Dream Prison, Digital Sweatshop,

362
00:17:39,716 --> 00:17:42,200
Indentured Server-dudes,
and too many others to count.

363
00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:43,552
- Or pay.
- Yeah!

364
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,145
And now, without further ado...

365
00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:48,298
Did somebody ask for ado?

366
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:50,984
Hey, Homer. Good to see you.

367
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:53,895
Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?

368
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:56,806
This man took simple,
beautiful animal robots

369
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:58,492
designed to sell pizza

370
00:17:58,719 --> 00:18:01,236
and turned them into something
crass and commercial.

371
00:18:01,405 --> 00:18:04,890
Well, it's all over, J.J...

372
00:18:04,983 --> 00:18:07,626
if those are your real initials.

373
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:17,678
I'm going to burn the
only copy of this movie.

374
00:18:17,829 --> 00:18:20,330
Actually, the movie's backed up
on servers all over the world.

375
00:18:20,424 --> 00:18:22,240
That reel is just a prop
from the snack stand.

376
00:18:22,259 --> 00:18:25,519
Oh. I wondered why it was buttery.

377
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:28,689
You can't release this movie.
Changing those characters

378
00:18:28,916 --> 00:18:32,067
- will ruin my childhood.
- Bullpucky!

379
00:18:35,772 --> 00:18:38,348
So that's who Mom called earlier.

380
00:18:38,442 --> 00:18:40,242
So satisfying.

381
00:18:41,394 --> 00:18:43,762
Son, a movie can't ruin your childhood.

382
00:18:43,780 --> 00:18:47,391
I ruined it by being a terrible father.

383
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:50,118
- But the movie.
- No, it was me.

384
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,695
I put you down, I never listened to you,

385
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,273
said your dreams were ridiculous.

386
00:18:55,442 --> 00:18:57,217
Maybe it was the way I was brought up.

387
00:18:57,444 --> 00:19:00,375
Men back then could
only love sports stars

388
00:19:00,410 --> 00:19:01,722
and auto makes.

389
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:04,799
I was a Chevy man and I
thought that was enough.

390
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:07,877
The '63 Impala SS sport coupe...

391
00:19:09,072 --> 00:19:10,789
Now, that was a son.

392
00:19:10,958 --> 00:19:13,792
Of course.
It's not the movie that sucks,

393
00:19:13,961 --> 00:19:16,128
it was you sucking.

394
00:19:16,296 --> 00:19:18,630
It was always you sucking.

395
00:19:18,723 --> 00:19:22,300
I hate you, Dad.

396
00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:23,452
Aw.

397
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:27,247
Homer, I know
you were attached to the past,

398
00:19:27,474 --> 00:19:29,975
but this movie...
all 71 minutes of it...

399
00:19:30,144 --> 00:19:31,493
might help a new generation of kids

400
00:19:31,645 --> 00:19:33,253
forget their terrible parents.

401
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:37,240
- Like us, Dad.
- I want to forget so bad.

402
00:19:37,334 --> 00:19:40,743
- Mm.
- Go on, make your movie.

403
00:19:40,912 --> 00:19:42,078
It's literally already done.

404
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:44,823
I guess the only time
I'll see my friends now

405
00:19:44,916 --> 00:19:46,600
is on the big screen.

406
00:19:46,827 --> 00:19:48,727
Well, actually...

407
00:19:52,516 --> 00:19:55,609
The band is back together.

408
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:56,926
I had them reprogrammed

409
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:59,595
to dispense frozen yogurt
at the after party.

410
00:19:59,764 --> 00:20:01,782
Goodbye, old friend.

411
00:20:02,009 --> 00:20:04,618
You'll always be a part of me.

412
00:20:04,845 --> 00:20:06,745
Ah...

413
00:20:19,209 --> 00:20:21,526
To all who dare reboot a movie,

414
00:20:21,619 --> 00:20:22,970
comic book, or TV show...

415
00:20:23,197 --> 00:20:26,364
you are being watched
by Troll Force Five!

416
00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:29,643
Mary Sue, who writes
fan fiction starring herself.

417
00:20:29,794 --> 00:20:33,078
"Harry Potter turned and said,
'Without Mary Sue,

418
00:20:33,113 --> 00:20:35,131
I never could have brought
Dumbledore back to life.'"

419
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,277
The Furry... the ultimate expert

420
00:20:37,312 --> 00:20:39,544
on poorly-rendered CGI hair.

421
00:20:39,637 --> 00:20:41,822
That's not what it looks
like when a bear sweats.

422
00:20:42,049 --> 00:20:43,639
The Shipper... able to detect

423
00:20:43,734 --> 00:20:46,326
romantic connections where,
clearly, none exist.

424
00:20:46,553 --> 00:20:49,329
C-3PO and Chewbacca are
definitely a couple.

425
00:20:49,556 --> 00:20:51,973
Stan, who can ruin anything

426
00:20:52,008 --> 00:20:53,408
by loving it too much.

427
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:54,793
Together, we are...

428
00:20:54,794 --> 00:20:55,794
_

429
00:20:55,795 --> 00:20:58,469
_

430
00:21:03,161 --> 00:21:05,570
* Your mother's got flavor,
your father's got the flavor *

431
00:21:05,589 --> 00:21:06,963
* Your sister and your
brother and your cousins *

432
00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,423
* Got the flavor, the flavor *

433
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:10,242
* Flavor that you crave so much *

434
00:21:10,260 --> 00:21:12,744
* Flavor with boom,
flavor that goes crunch *

435
00:21:12,779 --> 00:21:15,383
- * Tell me, who's got flavor *
- * I do, I do *

436
00:21:15,418 --> 00:21:16,917
- * Who's got flavor *
- * I do, I do *

437
00:21:16,933 --> 00:21:19,334
- * Who's got flavor *
- * I do, I do *

438
00:21:19,419 --> 00:21:21,628
- * Who's got flavor *
- * I do, I do *

439
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:22,845
* Yeah, yeah, yeah *

440
00:21:22,939 --> 00:21:23,942
* The funky hip-hop *

441
00:21:25,592 --> 00:21:26,633
* Feel the beat drop *

442
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:27,809
* Hour after hour *

443
00:21:27,878 --> 00:21:28,935
* Sweet, nothing sour *

444
00:21:30,030 --> 00:21:31,038
* Kick it like horsepower *

445
00:21:31,265 --> 00:21:33,640
- * Who's got flavor *
- * I do, I do *

446
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:36,499
- * Who's got flavor *
- * I do, I do *

447
00:21:36,534 --> 00:21:38,685
- * Who's got flavor *
- * I do, I do *

448
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:39,745
* Who's got... *

449
00:21:40,038 --> 00:21:41,039
Shh!

450
00:21:44,059 --> 00:21:46,883
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com