1
00:00:00,250 --> 00:00:02,250
Behind every great scientist,

2
00:00:02,255 --> 00:00:05,887
there were often unsung helpers
toiling away in the background.

3
00:00:05,892 --> 00:00:07,297
Presenting...

4
00:00:07,302 --> 00:00:10,702
_

5
00:00:10,707 --> 00:00:13,603
When Alexander Graham
Bell needed an assistant,

6
00:00:13,607 --> 00:00:15,602
it was Thomas Augustus Watson

7
00:00:15,607 --> 00:00:17,371
who answered the call. Get it?

8
00:00:17,376 --> 00:00:18,476
"The call".

9
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,913
Madame Curie's daughter Irène

10
00:00:21,918 --> 00:00:23,615
was also her lab assistant.

11
00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:27,918
Irène was so dedicated, she
died of radiation poisoning.

12
00:00:27,923 --> 00:00:29,587
Unlike her sister Ève,

13
00:00:29,592 --> 00:00:31,956
who selfishly lived to 102.

14
00:00:31,961 --> 00:00:35,385
Lastly, Émile Roux was
assistant to Louis Pasteur.

15
00:00:35,390 --> 00:00:37,420
When they worked on the rabies vaccine,

16
00:00:37,425 --> 00:00:39,589
Roux kept a loaded gun in the lab

17
00:00:39,594 --> 00:00:42,173
to shoot Pasteur in the
head if he got infected.

18
00:00:42,178 --> 00:00:45,178
He never had to, but it's
fun to know he would have.

19
00:00:45,183 --> 00:00:46,512
No, Sheldon.

20
00:00:46,517 --> 00:00:48,212
You can't be my lab assistant.

21
00:00:48,217 --> 00:00:50,117
Maybe you weren't paying attention.

22
00:00:50,122 --> 00:00:51,251
I'll start over.

23
00:00:51,256 --> 00:00:52,901
Behind every great scientist,

24
00:00:52,906 --> 00:00:54,204
there was a dedicated as...

25
00:01:09,495 --> 00:01:11,695
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

26
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:12,930
Son,

27
00:01:12,935 --> 00:01:15,358
lab assistants are
usually upperclassmen.

28
00:01:15,363 --> 00:01:17,327
I believe I've been at this university

29
00:01:17,332 --> 00:01:18,728
long enough to be considered.

30
00:01:18,733 --> 00:01:19,863
You've been here two weeks.

31
00:01:19,868 --> 00:01:22,308
Hey, 16 days if you count orientation.

32
00:01:22,313 --> 00:01:25,078
Sheldon, there's a waitlist of students

33
00:01:25,083 --> 00:01:26,413
who've applied for that position.

34
00:01:26,418 --> 00:01:28,468
I just can't give you special treatment.

35
00:01:28,473 --> 00:01:29,969
Not with that attitude.

36
00:01:29,974 --> 00:01:32,472
Tell you what, I'll think about it.

37
00:01:32,477 --> 00:01:34,040
Should I come back or should I wait?

38
00:01:34,045 --> 00:01:35,775
- Come back.
- I'll wait.

39
00:01:35,780 --> 00:01:37,276
I thought about it. No.

40
00:01:38,716 --> 00:01:40,808
Judgment for plaintiff for $169.50.

41
00:01:40,813 --> 00:01:43,313
You think Judge Wapner
and Rusty the bailiff

42
00:01:43,318 --> 00:01:44,548
are friends in real life?

43
00:01:44,553 --> 00:01:45,553
Yeah.

44
00:01:45,558 --> 00:01:47,392
You can't fake that kind of chemistry.

45
00:01:48,459 --> 00:01:51,090
I'm flying!

46
00:01:51,095 --> 00:01:53,759
There you are! Where have you been?

47
00:01:53,764 --> 00:01:55,995
- We've been waiting for you.
- What is this?

48
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,231
That's the exercise guy Meemaw likes.

49
00:01:58,236 --> 00:01:59,966
Sweatin' to the Oldies 2...

50
00:01:59,971 --> 00:02:03,202
I can't believe anyone pays money
to watch old people sweat.

51
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,971
40 bucks?

52
00:02:04,976 --> 00:02:06,906
They sold over a million of those?

53
00:02:06,911 --> 00:02:08,741
At 40 bucks a pop?

54
00:02:08,746 --> 00:02:10,676
Do you know how much money that must be?

55
00:02:10,681 --> 00:02:12,683
I'm not a calculator.

56
00:02:13,988 --> 00:02:17,988
40 times... one million.

57
00:02:19,357 --> 00:02:21,220
That's 40 million!

58
00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:23,189
Whoa.

59
00:02:23,194 --> 00:02:25,625
And then he said he wouldn't
give me special treatment.

60
00:02:25,630 --> 00:02:27,093
I think what he said is

61
00:02:27,098 --> 00:02:28,895
everybody should be treated equally.

62
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,200
I'm sorry, is this Russia?

63
00:02:30,205 --> 00:02:31,898
Should we get in line for bread?

64
00:02:31,903 --> 00:02:35,067
It's his lab, Sheldon.
He can do what he wants.

65
00:02:37,108 --> 00:02:38,304
I've got it.

66
00:02:38,309 --> 00:02:39,872
Dr. Linkletter likes you.

67
00:02:39,877 --> 00:02:42,408
You go on a date with him
and when he tries to kiss you,

68
00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:44,710
say you'll do it, but only
if he gives me the job.

69
00:02:44,715 --> 00:02:48,915
I'm gonna ask you to think hard
about what you just said.

70
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,317
What? I want something,
he wants something...

71
00:02:51,322 --> 00:02:52,552
seems like a win-win.

72
00:02:52,557 --> 00:02:53,786
Not for me.

73
00:02:53,791 --> 00:02:54,954
You get a free dinner.

74
00:02:54,959 --> 00:02:56,459
Make him take you someplace nice.

75
00:02:56,464 --> 00:02:58,791
- Ooh, maybe Sizzler.
- Sheldon.

76
00:03:01,666 --> 00:03:03,196
What are you doing?

77
00:03:03,201 --> 00:03:05,531
Gonna make an exercise video.

78
00:03:05,536 --> 00:03:06,536
Why?

79
00:03:06,541 --> 00:03:08,935
If Richard Simmons could
make 40 million bucks,

80
00:03:08,940 --> 00:03:10,803
think how much I could
make with my face.

81
00:03:10,808 --> 00:03:12,972
What's your face got to do with it?

82
00:03:12,977 --> 00:03:15,212
What do you mean? I'm
gorgeous, ask anybody.

83
00:03:18,302 --> 00:03:21,192
Since my meemaw was
being stingy with her love,

84
00:03:21,197 --> 00:03:22,327
I had to find another way

85
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,007
to change Dr. Linkletter's mind.

86
00:03:24,011 --> 00:03:25,675
I decided to treat this

87
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,177
like a science experiment...

88
00:03:27,182 --> 00:03:29,388
test various methods of persuasion

89
00:03:29,393 --> 00:03:31,557
to determine which was
the most effective.

90
00:03:31,562 --> 00:03:34,693
Dr. Linkletter, I was talking
to the other physics professors

91
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and they think you having
an 11-year-old lab assistant

92
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- would be neat.
- No.

93
00:03:40,777 --> 00:03:42,543
Don't you want your peers
to think you're cool?

94
00:03:42,547 --> 00:03:43,927
- No.
- I would.

95
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:44,932
No.

96
00:03:44,937 --> 00:03:47,201
Dr. Linkletter?

97
00:03:47,206 --> 00:03:48,206
What?

98
00:03:48,211 --> 00:03:49,311
If you look in your drawer,

99
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you'll find a little something.

100
00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,114
I hope you like peanut butter cookies.

101
00:03:55,119 --> 00:03:56,749
This isn't going to change my mind.

102
00:03:56,754 --> 00:03:58,517
- You sure?
- Yes.

103
00:03:58,522 --> 00:04:00,423
Then give them back,
they're my favorite.

104
00:04:02,287 --> 00:04:03,287
- Say yes.
- _

105
00:04:03,292 --> 00:04:04,455
- No.
- Yes.

106
00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:06,125
- No.
- Yes.

107
00:04:06,130 --> 00:04:08,561
- No.
- HIja.

108
00:04:08,566 --> 00:04:09,662
What?

109
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,130
That's "yes" in Klingon.

110
00:04:11,135 --> 00:04:12,765
How do you say "no" in Klingon?

111
00:04:12,770 --> 00:04:13,780
Qo'.

112
00:04:13,785 --> 00:04:15,085
Qo'!

113
00:04:15,090 --> 00:04:16,090
Aw.

114
00:04:16,094 --> 00:04:18,190
_

115
00:04:18,195 --> 00:04:20,125
I overheard some of
your other candidates

116
00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:21,712
talking about marijuana.

117
00:04:21,717 --> 00:04:23,581
I don't care.

118
00:04:23,586 --> 00:04:24,749
Well, you should.

119
00:04:24,754 --> 00:04:26,754
I think they plan on smoking it.

120
00:04:28,530 --> 00:04:29,683
_

121
00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:31,417
- You know what?
- What?

122
00:04:31,422 --> 00:04:33,452
I was just admiring your posture.

123
00:04:33,457 --> 00:04:36,417
You're not all hunched over
like most people your age.

124
00:04:39,426 --> 00:04:42,491
So, most people think you
need expensive machines

125
00:04:42,496 --> 00:04:43,696
to work out,

126
00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:45,564
but I just use free weights.

127
00:04:45,569 --> 00:04:47,831
To be clear, they ain't free.
You got to buy them.

128
00:04:47,836 --> 00:04:50,036
Are you watching yourself work out?

129
00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:52,138
I made an exercise video.

130
00:04:52,143 --> 00:04:53,673
Why?

131
00:04:53,678 --> 00:04:54,974
To sell.

132
00:04:54,979 --> 00:04:56,542
That's very important.

133
00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:58,544
Next, we're gonna do curls.

134
00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,079
'Cause, like I always say,

135
00:05:00,084 --> 00:05:02,384
curls get the girls.

136
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,185
- Oh, Lord.
- What?

137
00:05:04,190 --> 00:05:06,291
You want to remember:
squeeze it at the top.

138
00:05:06,295 --> 00:05:07,891
People like it when things rhyme.

139
00:05:11,469 --> 00:05:13,069
_

140
00:05:13,994 --> 00:05:14,994
Hello?

141
00:05:14,999 --> 00:05:16,499
Can I be your lab assistant?

142
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,432
What time is it?

143
00:05:19,437 --> 00:05:20,637
That's not a no.

144
00:05:21,736 --> 00:05:24,236
If I say yes, will you
please stop hounding me?

145
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,741
- Absolutely.
- Fine.

146
00:05:25,746 --> 00:05:27,340
You win. Good night.

147
00:05:27,345 --> 00:05:29,041
Just out of scientific curiosity,

148
00:05:29,046 --> 00:05:31,077
were you persuaded by
the disorienting nature

149
00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:32,478
of this late-night phone call

150
00:05:32,483 --> 00:05:34,481
or by the cumulative weight
of my relentlessness?

151
00:05:34,485 --> 00:05:35,552
That one.

152
00:05:36,852 --> 00:05:39,852
I learned an important
lesson that night.

153
00:05:39,857 --> 00:05:41,454
When you want something,

154
00:05:41,459 --> 00:05:44,828
relentlessly annoying
is your road to victory.

155
00:05:47,587 --> 00:05:50,487
- How may I assist you today?
- Follow me.

156
00:05:50,492 --> 00:05:52,022
Should I look over your notes?

157
00:05:52,027 --> 00:05:53,857
Would you like me to
double-check your math?

158
00:05:53,862 --> 00:05:55,392
See these bolts?

159
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,794
Scrub the grease off.

160
00:05:56,799 --> 00:05:58,762
- But there's hundreds of them.
- Yes.

161
00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:00,167
That's where you come in.

162
00:06:00,172 --> 00:06:02,272
Surely there's a better
use of my intellect.

163
00:06:02,277 --> 00:06:04,635
Son, we're building a
solar neutrino detector.

164
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,904
If you don't want the
job, there's the door.

165
00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:08,209
No, I want it.

166
00:06:08,214 --> 00:06:09,614
Good man.

167
00:06:12,348 --> 00:06:15,470
Although that door does look tempting.

168
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:16,838
So, I could really use your help

169
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,706
making it look more professional.

170
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,141
That's burn right there.

171
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:22,486
Like, adding a little, you know...

172
00:06:22,491 --> 00:06:26,391
I think the word you're
looking for is "pizazz".

173
00:06:26,396 --> 00:06:28,496
Exactly. So, you'll do it?

174
00:06:28,501 --> 00:06:31,331
Well, I'm flattered that you would ask,

175
00:06:31,336 --> 00:06:34,164
but exercise videos...

176
00:06:34,169 --> 00:06:36,800
That's not really what I do.

177
00:06:36,805 --> 00:06:38,535
But I've seen you on TV.

178
00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:41,271
I'm soft and firm

179
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:43,674
- in all the right places.
- _

180
00:06:43,679 --> 00:06:44,975
You've been in plays.

181
00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:46,477
It's all right, Molly.

182
00:06:46,482 --> 00:06:48,679
Annie's here.

183
00:06:48,684 --> 00:06:50,447
Don't forget my modeling work.

184
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,483
_

185
00:06:52,488 --> 00:06:55,557
But I have a reputation.

186
00:06:55,562 --> 00:06:57,962
When people hear the name Gene Lundy,

187
00:06:57,967 --> 00:06:59,456
they expect quality.

188
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,292
They expect showmanship.

189
00:07:01,297 --> 00:07:03,460
They expect me to get paid.

190
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:04,999
Oh, I'm gonna pay you.

191
00:07:06,165 --> 00:07:08,365
Let's make an exercise video!

192
00:07:08,370 --> 00:07:11,334
While not the lab work
I hoped to be doing,

193
00:07:11,338 --> 00:07:14,881
it did feel good to be part
of an actual experiment.

194
00:07:14,886 --> 00:07:16,649
A tedious, menial part

195
00:07:16,654 --> 00:07:18,372
that could be performed by a monkey.

196
00:07:18,377 --> 00:07:20,577
Or worse, an engineer.

197
00:07:20,582 --> 00:07:22,613
Here you go.

198
00:07:22,618 --> 00:07:25,318
473 grease-free bolts.

199
00:07:25,323 --> 00:07:28,118
- Excellent.
- Now what?

200
00:07:28,123 --> 00:07:29,453
How about I help you design

201
00:07:29,458 --> 00:07:31,389
an even better solar neutrino detector?

202
00:07:31,393 --> 00:07:33,589
Actually, what I need you to do is...

203
00:07:33,594 --> 00:07:36,894
take this grease and
put it on these bolts.

204
00:07:36,899 --> 00:07:40,130
But I just took the
grease off the bolts.

205
00:07:40,135 --> 00:07:41,265
That was the wrong grease.

206
00:07:41,270 --> 00:07:43,171
This is the right grease. Have at it.

207
00:07:44,271 --> 00:07:46,302
If this is some kind of
test to get me to quit,

208
00:07:46,307 --> 00:07:47,570
it's not going to work.

209
00:07:47,575 --> 00:07:48,873
I don't know what you were expecting,

210
00:07:48,877 --> 00:07:50,738
but this is a menial job.

211
00:07:50,743 --> 00:07:53,941
After this, I need you to
sort a crate of resistors,

212
00:07:53,946 --> 00:07:56,346
strip a case of wire and then sweep up.

213
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:57,414
Oh.

214
00:07:57,419 --> 00:07:59,783
Then I quit.

215
00:07:59,788 --> 00:08:02,918
Now, I like the idea
of an exercise video.

216
00:08:02,923 --> 00:08:05,923
I'm just not sure that weight
lifting is the way to go.

217
00:08:05,928 --> 00:08:07,157
Why not?

218
00:08:07,162 --> 00:08:09,662
It's low-energy. You know?

219
00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:11,328
We don't want a one-man show.

220
00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:13,497
We want Starlight Express.

221
00:08:13,502 --> 00:08:15,165
I don't know what that is.

222
00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:17,805
You'd love it. Andrew Lloyd Webber,

223
00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:19,636
people on roller skates.

224
00:08:19,641 --> 00:08:21,938
That's a thought. Skater-cise.

225
00:08:21,943 --> 00:08:23,173
Do you... do you skate?

226
00:08:23,178 --> 00:08:24,241
No.

227
00:08:24,246 --> 00:08:25,309
Too bad.

228
00:08:25,314 --> 00:08:27,511
You sure I can't just lift weights?

229
00:08:27,516 --> 00:08:29,713
Aerobics is the way to go.

230
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,616
It's got music. It's got energy.

231
00:08:32,621 --> 00:08:34,518
It's got what?

232
00:08:34,523 --> 00:08:36,553
- Pizazz?
- Bingo!

233
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,384
Now, hear me out.

234
00:08:38,389 --> 00:08:41,788
We surround you with
a bunch of dancing girls.

235
00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:42,993
No, even better.

236
00:08:42,998 --> 00:08:45,195
The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

237
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,460
If that's what "pizazz"
means, I like it.

238
00:08:49,266 --> 00:08:51,766
Of course, to do this right,

239
00:08:51,771 --> 00:08:54,202
we are gonna need some financing.

240
00:08:54,207 --> 00:08:56,607
What does your father do for a living?

241
00:08:56,612 --> 00:08:58,038
He's a coach here at the school.

242
00:08:58,043 --> 00:08:59,543
Oof.

243
00:08:59,548 --> 00:09:01,745
I know somebody who's got money.

244
00:09:04,507 --> 00:09:05,707
What do you two want?

245
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:09,544
What we want is to make you rich.

246
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,055
Oh, God.

247
00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:14,625
- What do you mean you quit?
- It was beneath me.

248
00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:17,361
You need to learn there's nothing
wrong with a little hard work.

249
00:09:17,366 --> 00:09:19,561
Hard work is calculating
neutrino properties

250
00:09:19,566 --> 00:09:20,766
to one percent accuracy.

251
00:09:20,771 --> 00:09:22,997
Anyone can wash bolts.

252
00:09:23,002 --> 00:09:24,632
You begged him for that job.

253
00:09:24,637 --> 00:09:26,999
I assumed he'd realize
the value of my intellect

254
00:09:27,004 --> 00:09:28,438
and put it to good use.

255
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:29,573
Hang on.

256
00:09:29,578 --> 00:09:31,108
You made a commitment.

257
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,310
When you say you're gonna
do something, you do it.

258
00:09:33,315 --> 00:09:35,345
Well, he could find someone else.

259
00:09:35,350 --> 00:09:36,650
Doesn't matter.

260
00:09:36,655 --> 00:09:39,156
This is about you being
a man of your word.

261
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,518
I wanted to point out

262
00:09:42,522 --> 00:09:44,421
that I couldn't be a man of my word,

263
00:09:44,425 --> 00:09:47,925
since I hadn't hit puberty,
but he seemed pretty grouchy.

264
00:09:48,748 --> 00:09:50,178
You know how you love

265
00:09:50,183 --> 00:09:51,783
those Richard Simmons tapes?

266
00:09:51,788 --> 00:09:54,718
- Yeah.
- Well, what if I told you

267
00:09:54,723 --> 00:09:56,857
we have the next big thing

268
00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:58,962
in home fitness videos.

269
00:09:58,967 --> 00:10:02,739
Mm. And what kind of
thing would that be?

270
00:10:02,744 --> 00:10:05,142
"Cowboy aerobics".

271
00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:06,743
Yee-haw.

272
00:10:06,748 --> 00:10:07,878
It's like, um,

273
00:10:07,883 --> 00:10:08,913
Sweatin' to the Oldies

274
00:10:08,918 --> 00:10:10,647
with a little bit of Southern swagger.

275
00:10:11,887 --> 00:10:13,050
Cool, huh?

276
00:10:13,055 --> 00:10:15,352
So, are y'all just

277
00:10:15,357 --> 00:10:17,884
trying to sell me an aerobics tape?

278
00:10:17,888 --> 00:10:19,912
No. No, not at all.

279
00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:21,717
We want you to give us
money to make them.

280
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:24,194
"Invest". He... he means invest.

281
00:10:25,132 --> 00:10:28,532
And who would be, uh,
starring in this video?

282
00:10:28,537 --> 00:10:29,633
Me.

283
00:10:29,638 --> 00:10:31,668
That's ridiculous.

284
00:10:32,774 --> 00:10:35,005
And Richard Simmons ain't ridiculous?

285
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:37,174
Well, now, the young
man does have a point.

286
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,408
Yeah, maybe on his head.

287
00:10:38,413 --> 00:10:40,243
Look, you're not getting my money.

288
00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:44,982
Well, you are passing a-a
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

289
00:10:44,987 --> 00:10:47,084
And how much lifetime do you have left?

290
00:10:47,089 --> 00:10:48,956
That's not helping.

291
00:10:50,626 --> 00:10:52,059
No.

292
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,126
All right, fair enough.

293
00:10:56,131 --> 00:10:58,528
Thank you for hearing us out.

294
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,865
If you have a change of
heart, you let us know.

295
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,397
Screw that.

296
00:11:03,402 --> 00:11:04,832
My whole life

297
00:11:04,837 --> 00:11:07,337
I've seen you bet on football games,

298
00:11:07,342 --> 00:11:10,044
throw away all kinds
of money at the track.

299
00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:12,763
If you want to gamble on something,

300
00:11:12,768 --> 00:11:14,970
why can't it be on your own grandson?

301
00:11:17,292 --> 00:11:19,092
How much money you need?

302
00:11:20,622 --> 00:11:22,152
Well, now, um...

303
00:11:22,157 --> 00:11:25,489
how much money did you
bet on football last year?

304
00:11:25,494 --> 00:11:27,625
Well, you're not getting that much.

305
00:11:27,630 --> 00:11:30,623
Hello?

306
00:11:30,628 --> 00:11:31,924
Dr. Linkletter?

307
00:11:31,929 --> 00:11:33,426
Sheldon Cooper.

308
00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:37,410
I'm calling to apologize.
I shouldn't have quit.

309
00:11:37,415 --> 00:11:39,415
I made a commitment, and
I need to see it through.

310
00:11:40,413 --> 00:11:43,013
I appreciate that, but there's no need.

311
00:11:43,018 --> 00:11:46,317
There is. It's important
to me, as well as my father.

312
00:11:47,342 --> 00:11:48,842
- Fine.
- Excellent.

313
00:11:48,847 --> 00:11:50,847
Don't worry, I won't overstep my bounds.

314
00:11:50,852 --> 00:11:53,383
I give you my word as a Texan.

315
00:11:53,388 --> 00:11:55,385
- Great.
- And a man.

316
00:11:55,390 --> 00:11:57,454
- Very good.
- Well, a future man.

317
00:11:57,459 --> 00:11:59,790
At present, my hormones
and body hair aren't exactly

318
00:11:59,795 --> 00:12:01,192
- what you'd call...
- Good night.

319
00:12:01,197 --> 00:12:03,197
Hmm.

320
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,592
The next day I returned

321
00:12:09,597 --> 00:12:12,295
to my role as lab assistant
with renewed vigor.

322
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:13,596
Bolts were greased,

323
00:12:13,601 --> 00:12:15,231
wires were stripped,

324
00:12:15,236 --> 00:12:17,667
floors were swept, all with a smile.

325
00:12:17,672 --> 00:12:19,268
It was a forced smile

326
00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:20,473
but you'd never know.

327
00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:22,478
I must say, Sheldon, I'm impressed.

328
00:12:22,483 --> 00:12:24,543
I gave you my word
and I'm standing by it.

329
00:12:24,547 --> 00:12:26,084
Well, I know it's not glamorous,

330
00:12:26,088 --> 00:12:27,768
but all scientists pay their dues.

331
00:12:27,773 --> 00:12:29,203
And I'm happy to do it.

332
00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,180
- Good man.
- I understand my role here.

333
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,500
In fact, I noticed a flaw
in your reaction rates,

334
00:12:33,505 --> 00:12:35,718
but I kept it to myself
because I know my place.

335
00:12:35,723 --> 00:12:38,054
- You really think there's a flaw?
- Oh, yes.

336
00:12:38,059 --> 00:12:39,288
What is it?

337
00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:40,833
I appreciate you testing me,

338
00:12:40,838 --> 00:12:42,301
but I'm not going to crack.

339
00:12:42,306 --> 00:12:43,669
I'm not testing you.

340
00:12:43,674 --> 00:12:45,141
Nice try.

341
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,532
So, when are we gonna shoot this thing?

342
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,300
Slow down, now.

343
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,802
We've got to plan out.

344
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:56,505
You know, costumes, choreography, music.

345
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:57,840
Let's start with the set.

346
00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,275
Now, I was thinking...

347
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,044
an Oklahoma theme.

348
00:13:01,049 --> 00:13:02,569
Hay bales, saloon door,

349
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,939
maybe a surrey with a fringe on top.

350
00:13:04,944 --> 00:13:06,173
A what with a what?

351
00:13:06,178 --> 00:13:07,641
Oh, you know.

352
00:13:07,646 --> 00:13:10,052
? Chicks and ducks and
geese better scurry ?

353
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:12,188
? When I take you out in my surrey ?

354
00:13:12,193 --> 00:13:13,523
? When I take you out ?

355
00:13:13,528 --> 00:13:14,829
? In my surrey with the fringe... ?

356
00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:16,997
Okay, forget Oklahoma.

357
00:13:17,002 --> 00:13:18,002
Done.

358
00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:21,196
In an effort to find out the mistake

359
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,897
in his experimental design,

360
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:26,601
Dr. Linkletter performed
his own experiment on me.

361
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,537
You know, Sheldon, I don't even
care if you tell me the error.

362
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,573
In fact, I'd rather
you keep it to yourself.

363
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:32,974
All right.

364
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,977
Yeah.

365
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,645
_

366
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:39,482
I got you a little something
for all your hard work.

367
00:13:39,487 --> 00:13:41,951
It's about a little boy
who doesn't let being dead

368
00:13:41,956 --> 00:13:43,616
stop him from having fun.

369
00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:44,817
Thanks.

370
00:13:44,822 --> 00:13:47,552
Now that I've given you something,

371
00:13:47,557 --> 00:13:48,887
perhaps you want to reciprocate.

372
00:13:48,892 --> 00:13:51,895
Sure. You can have
this. I don't want it.

373
00:13:56,946 --> 00:13:58,846
_

374
00:14:00,146 --> 00:14:01,146
Hello?

375
00:14:01,151 --> 00:14:03,603
Uh, may I speak with Sheldon?

376
00:14:03,608 --> 00:14:06,306
It's the middle of the night.
Who the hell is this?

377
00:14:06,311 --> 00:14:07,811
Uh, wrong number.

378
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,582
All right.

379
00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:16,218
Let's try it again.

380
00:14:20,982 --> 00:14:22,645
? Last night... ?

381
00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:25,130
I'm sorry, are-are we galloping,

382
00:14:25,135 --> 00:14:27,506
or are we doing double Dutch?

383
00:14:27,511 --> 00:14:29,211
You got to get your hips into it,

384
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,216
all right?

385
00:14:30,221 --> 00:14:32,452
Yeah, you get your rope,
you get your hip.

386
00:14:32,457 --> 00:14:34,620
We can gallop up, we can gallop back.

387
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,605
We're lassoing and galloping

388
00:14:36,610 --> 00:14:38,010
around the corral.

389
00:14:38,015 --> 00:14:39,712
Excuse me.

390
00:14:39,717 --> 00:14:40,880
We need to talk.

391
00:14:40,885 --> 00:14:42,348
Can it wait?

392
00:14:42,353 --> 00:14:44,083
I'm trying to turn your grandson here

393
00:14:44,088 --> 00:14:46,185
into the Richard Simmons
of the Wild West.

394
00:14:46,190 --> 00:14:49,522
No, it can't. I took a look
at this contract you sent over.

395
00:14:49,527 --> 00:14:52,056
Oh, well, that's just
boilerplate legalese.

396
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:53,210
I wouldn't even read that.

397
00:14:53,215 --> 00:14:55,412
Too late. I couldn't help but notice

398
00:14:55,417 --> 00:14:57,514
you're taking 80% of the profits.

399
00:14:57,519 --> 00:14:59,316
Eighty percent?

400
00:14:59,321 --> 00:15:01,346
Well, in case no one has noticed,

401
00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:03,632
I'm doing most of the work here.

402
00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:05,201
But it was all my idea.

403
00:15:05,206 --> 00:15:09,605
Your idea was lifting weights
in some dingy garage.

404
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:13,409
Cowboy aerobics was hatched
in this egg right here.

405
00:15:13,414 --> 00:15:14,644
But it's my face.

406
00:15:14,649 --> 00:15:15,649
Any my money.

407
00:15:15,654 --> 00:15:17,524
And my apologies,

408
00:15:17,529 --> 00:15:20,193
but 20% is all you're getting.

409
00:15:20,198 --> 00:15:22,263
Unbelievable.

410
00:15:22,268 --> 00:15:23,785
Excuse me.

411
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,887
I've done all the choreography.

412
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,289
I designed the sets.

413
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,725
I-I made the costumes by hand.

414
00:15:29,730 --> 00:15:31,060
You think you can find

415
00:15:31,065 --> 00:15:32,795
sequined chaps in a mall?

416
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,063
No, you cannot.

417
00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:36,670
And they give you quite
the look when you ask.

418
00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:39,505
Come on, let's get out of here.

419
00:15:39,510 --> 00:15:41,310
Oh, fine, go ahead.

420
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,778
And we're gonna make our own
exercise video without you.

421
00:15:43,783 --> 00:15:44,813
No, we're not.

422
00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:45,986
No, we're not!

423
00:15:48,217 --> 00:15:50,017
And they call me dramatic.

424
00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:54,016
The next day, Dr. Linkletter
ran his experiment.

425
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,952
I'm proud to say I never broke my word,

426
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,888
and he eventually
figured out the problem.

427
00:15:58,893 --> 00:16:00,194
Fire!

428
00:16:00,198 --> 00:16:01,898
Fire!

429
00:16:01,903 --> 00:16:03,099
Fire!

430
00:16:03,104 --> 00:16:05,635
Was it too much oxygen in the reagents?

431
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,140
See? You didn't need my help after all.

432
00:16:13,007 --> 00:16:15,007
Mr. Lundy was undeterred.

433
00:16:15,012 --> 00:16:16,783
He sought out new investors

434
00:16:16,788 --> 00:16:19,453
and new talent to bring
cowboy aerobics to life.

435
00:16:19,458 --> 00:16:20,788
You've got the look.

436
00:16:20,793 --> 00:16:22,790
You've got the physique.

437
00:16:22,795 --> 00:16:26,393
If-if we could secure
a star of your caliber,

438
00:16:26,398 --> 00:16:29,163
it would really put us on the map.

439
00:16:29,168 --> 00:16:31,599
I do look good in a cowboy hat.

440
00:16:31,604 --> 00:16:34,034
You look good in everything.

441
00:16:34,039 --> 00:16:35,903
Come on, Mr. Hasselhoff.

442
00:16:35,908 --> 00:16:37,104
Call me The Hoff.

443
00:16:37,109 --> 00:16:39,073
Okay, The Hoff.

444
00:16:39,078 --> 00:16:40,741
So, what do you say?

445
00:16:40,746 --> 00:16:44,678
Well, I've conquered television, music.

446
00:16:44,683 --> 00:16:48,813
I don't see why I couldn't
add exercise videos

447
00:16:48,817 --> 00:16:50,317
to my empire.

448
00:16:50,322 --> 00:16:51,919
So you'll do it?

449
00:16:51,924 --> 00:16:53,955
You got The Hoff!

450
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,105
Hot damn! I got The Hoff!

451
00:16:57,445 --> 00:16:58,775
By-by any chance,

452
00:16:58,780 --> 00:17:01,010
do you know what size chaps you wear?

453
00:17:01,015 --> 00:17:03,050
Oh. I got my own.

454
00:17:04,182 --> 00:17:06,282
Of course you do.

455
00:17:08,857 --> 00:17:13,222
All right, buckaroos, it's time
for cowboy aerobics with...

456
00:17:13,227 --> 00:17:15,557
- David Hasselhoff!
- David Hasselhoff!

457
00:17:15,562 --> 00:17:18,262
Who's ready to rustle up some muscles?

458
00:17:18,267 --> 00:17:22,259
Let's saddle up and ride.

459
00:17:22,264 --> 00:17:23,764
Thanks to The Hoff,

460
00:17:23,769 --> 00:17:26,569
the video was a smashing success.

461
00:17:26,574 --> 00:17:29,972
Who wants a beach body like
the ones on Baywatch?

462
00:17:29,977 --> 00:17:32,241
Which I'm also in. Check
your local listings.

463
00:17:33,548 --> 00:17:34,649
Unfortunately,

464
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:36,483
Mr. Lundy put all his profits

465
00:17:36,488 --> 00:17:38,988
into a musical about his life, entitled:

466
00:17:38,993 --> 00:17:40,593
Live, Laugh, Lundy.

467
00:17:40,598 --> 00:17:42,798
He is poor to this day.

468
00:17:42,803 --> 00:17:43,803
_

469
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,000
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

