1
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Previously on Young Sheldon...

2
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You must be Coach Ballard's ex-wife.

3
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Yeah. Why?

4
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I'm kind of dating your ex-husband.

5
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I knew who you were the whole time.

6
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That's why I came over here.

7
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Nicely played.

8
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We ought to go out for drinks one night.

9
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Hell yeah!

10
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Yee-haw!

11
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College is a time for new experiences,

12
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being exposed to exciting
ways of thinking,

13
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,204
meeting people from
different backgrounds,

14
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and the unexpected visit
from your dad in gym shorts.

15
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Hey.

16
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- What are you doing here?
- I got a phone call.

17
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Apparently, the head of the
college wants to talk to us.

18
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- Oh, good.
- You sure it's good?

19
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Well, it's better than what
I thought when I saw you,

20
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- which was, "Uh-oh, Meemaw died".
- Come on.

21
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I was hoping in college you wouldn't

22
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get called to the principal's
office anymore.

23
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She's not the principal.
She's the president.

24
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So if you're in trouble,
you're in big trouble.

25
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That's a fun way to look at it.

26
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Gentlemen, please have a seat.

27
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Sheldon's only been here a few weeks.

28
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I hope he's not in trouble already.

29
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What kind of trouble?
Did something happen?

30
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Ooh, maybe it's from when I decided...

31
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Uh, uh, all good.

32
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Uh, you keep talking.

33
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Well, I'll just get right to the point.

34
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Uh, I would like you and your son

35
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to meet with a very important
benefactor of the college.

36
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Why us?

37
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Well, I mean, Sheldon is...

38
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is an impressive addition

39
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to the physics program,

40
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and-and we like our donors
to feel really good

41
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about where their money's going.

42
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I get it. You want the star quarterback

43
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to shake some hands with the boosters.

44
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- Exactly.
- I'm not doing that.

45
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I didn't shake her hand,
and she's the president.

46
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No, you don't have to
shake anybody's hand.

47
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Then why did you say it?

48
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I didn't say it. He said it.

49
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But you agreed with it.

50
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All I'm asking you to
do is to go to dinner,

51
00:01:41,975 --> 00:01:44,624
talk about science with a very nice and,

52
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more importantly, a very rich person.

53
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Understood.

54
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- No, thank you.
- Buddy...

55
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All right, uh, Sheldon, I
was brought to this school

56
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to help raise its profile, and
one of the ways to do that

57
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is through grants and donations.

58
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You-you can understand that, right?

59
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I understand that you would like
to put the novelty of my age

60
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and advanced intellect on
display to raise some cash.

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No. Sort of.

62
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- Can I speak to you alone?
- Will you give us a minute?

63
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Very well. But if you're looking to see

64
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if my father will be a potential donor,

65
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you are barking up the wrong tree.

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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

67
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So...

68
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how do we get your son to cooperate?

69
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I've been asking myself
that since day one.

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Look, I don't mean to
put pressure on you,

71
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but there's a lot of pressure on me,

72
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so I'm going to put it on you.

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Look, I'm sorry, isn't there anyone else

74
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who can go to dinner with this guy?

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So I have a unicorn in my zoo,

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but I should trot out a goat,
is that what you're saying?

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Would you donate a new library

78
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to have dinner with a goat?

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What restaurant?

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Mr. Cooper, I need you
to understand something.

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This university relies on
donations for everything.

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For upkeep, for salaries,

83
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for scholarships, like the one
your son is currently on.

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I'll talk to him.

85
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Thank you.

86
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And when you go to dinner,
wear real pants.

87
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So, there's this thing

88
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at school I really want to go to,

89
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and before you say no, I just
want you to think about it.

90
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- What is it?
- Like a school function.

91
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Why would I say no to a school function?

92
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So I can go? You're the best.

93
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Hold on.

94
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What kind of function
are we talking about?

95
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You know, just the normal kind.

96
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With some kids.

97
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And some music.

98
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You know you can't go to a dance.

99
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Why not?

100
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You know that, too.

101
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Because we're Baptist.

102
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But all my friends are going.

103
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That doesn't change anything.

104
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What if I promise not to dance?

105
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So you expect me to believe

106
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that you are going to go
to a dance with your friends,

107
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they'll all be dancing
while you just stand there?

108
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I go to church and don't pray.

109
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How is this any different?

110
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Where we eating tonight?

111
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Well, that depends.

112
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Why don't you look in the glovebox

113
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and check on the Tums situation.

114
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There's five.

115
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Oh, my, this is tricky.

116
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Well, Mexican's at least three apiece.

117
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We might get by with
two each if it's Italian.

118
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You get red wine and then tomato sauce.

119
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Hey, if they put lemon
in the water, we're dead.

120
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- Hmm. That leaves barbecue.
- Sold.

121
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Who gets Tum number three?

122
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Me. They're my Tums.

123
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Now, what do you think young people

124
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talk about on their dates?

125
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I don't know.

126
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But my knee's telling me
it's gonna rain this weekend.

127
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Speaking of this weekend, hey,
my son needs a final head count.

128
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Oh.

129
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It's a small wedding.

130
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It'll be weird if I'm there.

131
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Aw, come on, I'm gonna
be wearing a suit.

132
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I'm very sexy in a suit.

133
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Come on, Sheldon,

134
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think of it as a free dinner.

135
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I'm a kid. All my dinners are free.

136
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Is what they're asking really that bad?

137
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Yes. I go to this university
to study science,

138
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not to help collect money
like an organ grinder's monkey.

139
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You see me go to the rallies and
fundraisers at the high school.

140
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I don't love it, but I do it.

141
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And I hope they give you
all the bananas you can eat.

142
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Sheldon, donors like this are
very helpful for the university.

143
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They pay for all the science
equipment and your scholarship.

144
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I hadn't thought of it that way.

145
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So I'll tell 'em we're on for Saturday?

146
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I'll think about it.

147
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What's to think about?

148
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It's a night of you showing
off how smart you are.

149
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People do like that.

150
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All right, I'm in.

151
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Can I put on the game?

152
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I don't care.

153
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Sweet!

154
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What's your problem?

155
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Did you ever go to a school dance?

156
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One or two.

157
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How'd you get Mom to let you?

158
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Easy. Didn't ask her.

159
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By the way, that works
for all kinds of stuff.

160
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Well, it's too late. I already asked.

161
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Rookie mistake.

162
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Why can't we have a fun religion?

163
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I don't think there is one.

164
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Come with me.

165
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- Here.
- What is it?

166
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The answer to your problems.

167
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Cool. What other tapes you got?

168
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Nature films. Don't worry about it.

169
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Hey. I just got off the phone
with President Hagemeyer.

170
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This guy we're gonna have dinner
with sounds pretty interesting.

171
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He made all of his money
selling antistatic furniture

172
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for laboratories.

173
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He's not even a scientist?

174
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He's just a furniture salesman?

175
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Yeah.

176
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What am I supposed to talk about?

177
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Talk about whatever you want.

178
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Just... don't be insulting.

179
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What if he says something
I think is ridiculous?

180
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Keep it to yourself.

181
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What if you just said something

182
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I think is ridiculous? Because...

183
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Okay, maybe we need to work a little

184
00:07:28,278 --> 00:07:29,763
on your conversation skills,

185
00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:32,445
like not calling people out
for saying stupid things.

186
00:07:32,449 --> 00:07:34,614
How am I supposed to practice that?

187
00:07:34,618 --> 00:07:36,018
What's up?

188
00:07:44,373 --> 00:07:46,037
- Hello.
- Hey, June.

189
00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:47,138
It's Connie Tucker.

190
00:07:47,142 --> 00:07:48,840
Hey, Connie. How are you?

191
00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:50,008
I'm good.

192
00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:51,776
Am I seeing you Saturday night?

193
00:07:51,780 --> 00:07:53,949
Well, that's what I've called about.

194
00:07:53,953 --> 00:07:55,325
Are you sure you want me there?

195
00:07:55,329 --> 00:07:57,015
I mean, it is your son's wedding.

196
00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:59,349
Oh, it's his second wedding.
Those barely count.

197
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:00,948
Besides, I'm bringing a date, too.

198
00:08:00,952 --> 00:08:02,353
Come on, it'll be fun.

199
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:05,186
Okay. I'm in.

200
00:08:05,190 --> 00:08:06,291
Fantastic!

201
00:08:06,295 --> 00:08:07,792
So, how dressed up we getting?

202
00:08:07,796 --> 00:08:10,127
Oh, it's a small ceremony,
nothing fancy.

203
00:08:10,131 --> 00:08:12,897
You just saying that 'cause you
want to look better than me?

204
00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,499
Of course not.

205
00:08:14,503 --> 00:08:17,001
But I do believe you'd
be stunning in overalls.

206
00:08:17,005 --> 00:08:18,870
All right.

207
00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:20,406
See you then.

208
00:08:20,410 --> 00:08:22,006
Bye.

209
00:08:22,010 --> 00:08:24,108
Overalls, my ass.

210
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,238
So you really can't dance here, man?

211
00:08:26,242 --> 00:08:27,774
I can't believe that.

212
00:08:27,778 --> 00:08:29,280
- It's true.
- See?

213
00:08:29,284 --> 00:08:31,149
They ain't allowed to dance, either.

214
00:08:31,153 --> 00:08:33,318
It's like I'm watching my life.

215
00:08:33,322 --> 00:08:35,990
That's how I feel when
I'm watching Top Gun.

216
00:08:36,959 --> 00:08:41,155
Okay, Sheldon, try having
a conversation with Billy

217
00:08:41,159 --> 00:08:42,260
about science.

218
00:08:42,264 --> 00:08:43,828
Let's see.

219
00:08:43,832 --> 00:08:46,096
Uh, what do you know about
quantum mechanics?

220
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:47,832
My dad's a mechanic.

221
00:08:47,836 --> 00:08:51,370
At his shop, he has a calendar
with a bikini lady on it.

222
00:08:51,374 --> 00:08:52,403
Dad...

223
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,305
Instead of losing patience,

224
00:08:54,309 --> 00:08:57,775
act interested and ask
a follow-up question.

225
00:08:57,779 --> 00:09:00,148
Your father's a mechanic.

226
00:09:00,152 --> 00:09:01,576
Interesting.

227
00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:03,010
You know what else is interesting?

228
00:09:03,014 --> 00:09:04,186
Quantum mechanics.

229
00:09:04,190 --> 00:09:05,606
That describes the basic particles

230
00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:06,981
and forces that make up reality.

231
00:09:06,985 --> 00:09:08,516
Let's talk about that.

232
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,588
I'm gonna marry that bikini lady.

233
00:09:12,489 --> 00:09:14,121
I've been working on a theory

234
00:09:14,125 --> 00:09:16,391
about the wave-particle
duality of light.

235
00:09:16,395 --> 00:09:18,526
I have a nightlight that
looks like Spider-Man,

236
00:09:18,530 --> 00:09:20,364
but I don't turn it on.

237
00:09:22,401 --> 00:09:23,698
Go ahead.

238
00:09:23,702 --> 00:09:25,867
Why don't you turn it on?

239
00:09:25,871 --> 00:09:27,336
I'm afraid of spiders.

240
00:09:27,340 --> 00:09:29,337
Yeah, seems like a good place to stop.

241
00:09:29,341 --> 00:09:30,606
Now what happens?

242
00:09:30,610 --> 00:09:32,009
You go home.

243
00:09:32,013 --> 00:09:34,145
Thank you for your hospitality.

244
00:09:34,149 --> 00:09:36,678
And it was King David.

245
00:09:36,682 --> 00:09:41,416
King David, who-who we
read about in-in Samuel.

246
00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:43,551
And-and-and what did David do?

247
00:09:43,555 --> 00:09:45,086
What did David do?

248
00:09:45,090 --> 00:09:46,230
What did David do?

249
00:09:46,234 --> 00:09:48,627
- David danced.
- "David danced

250
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,425
before the Lord with all his might,

251
00:09:50,429 --> 00:09:53,228
leaping and dancing before the Lord".

252
00:09:53,232 --> 00:09:55,497
Leaping and dancing.

253
00:09:55,501 --> 00:09:57,465
- I'm impressed.
- Thank you.

254
00:09:57,469 --> 00:09:59,434
Too bad it's from Footloose.

255
00:09:59,438 --> 00:10:01,769
What's a footloose?

256
00:10:01,773 --> 00:10:04,791
It is the movie that Pastor
Jeff warned us about

257
00:10:04,795 --> 00:10:07,041
in his talk on the sins of cinema.

258
00:10:07,045 --> 00:10:08,672
Just let me go to the dance.

259
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:10,649
I'm sorry. I can't.

260
00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:13,121
I'm never talking to you again!

261
00:10:15,352 --> 00:10:17,452
Did you show your sister Footloose?

262
00:10:17,456 --> 00:10:19,454
- Did it work?
- No!

263
00:10:19,458 --> 00:10:20,922
Mm. Then no.

264
00:10:20,926 --> 00:10:22,026
Oh!

265
00:10:23,629 --> 00:10:25,795
Now, when you meet this guy,

266
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:27,195
you got to shake his hand.

267
00:10:27,199 --> 00:10:28,696
What if I offer a stately bow?

268
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,265
That's how they do it in Asia.

269
00:10:30,269 --> 00:10:31,699
You're shaking his hand.

270
00:10:31,703 --> 00:10:34,736
Then it's a good thing
I brought Old Righty.

271
00:10:34,740 --> 00:10:37,288
You're not wearing that in a restaurant.

272
00:10:37,292 --> 00:10:38,323
Why?

273
00:10:38,327 --> 00:10:39,808
'Cause you don't make a good impression

274
00:10:39,812 --> 00:10:41,472
by being afraid to shake hands.

275
00:10:41,476 --> 00:10:42,984
Howard Hughes was a germophobe,

276
00:10:42,988 --> 00:10:44,412
and he did quite well for himself.

277
00:10:44,416 --> 00:10:46,915
Didn't he go crazy and
save his pee in jars?

278
00:10:46,919 --> 00:10:48,150
Better to have it and not need it

279
00:10:48,154 --> 00:10:49,255
than to need it and not have it.

280
00:10:49,259 --> 00:10:50,826
- You're shaking his hand!
- Okay!

281
00:10:54,328 --> 00:10:56,457
Haven't been to many weddings lately.

282
00:10:56,461 --> 00:10:58,094
Mostly funerals.

283
00:10:58,098 --> 00:11:01,000
Yeah, those don't have an open bar.

284
00:11:01,004 --> 00:11:02,263
I don't know why I'm so excited.

285
00:11:02,267 --> 00:11:03,899
I'm paying for this.

286
00:11:03,903 --> 00:11:05,099
Hey, y'all.

287
00:11:05,103 --> 00:11:06,668
Hi, June!

288
00:11:06,672 --> 00:11:08,002
Don't you look pretty?

289
00:11:08,006 --> 00:11:09,007
Thank you.

290
00:11:09,011 --> 00:11:10,505
I happen to agree.

291
00:11:11,877 --> 00:11:13,976
Connie, Dale, this is Justin.

292
00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:16,511
- Hi, Justin. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.

293
00:11:16,515 --> 00:11:18,546
You must be a friend of my son's.

294
00:11:18,550 --> 00:11:20,618
Actually, he's my date.

295
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:23,985
Really?

296
00:11:23,989 --> 00:11:25,186
Mm-hmm.

297
00:11:25,190 --> 00:11:27,658
Much more fun than a funeral.

298
00:11:29,927 --> 00:11:31,859
George Cooper,

299
00:11:31,863 --> 00:11:33,458
meet Gary O'Brien,

300
00:11:33,462 --> 00:11:36,097
- the antistatic furniture king.
- Hello.

301
00:11:36,101 --> 00:11:37,402
Shocking to meet you.

302
00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:39,674
Don't do that. And this, of course,

303
00:11:39,678 --> 00:11:42,537
is our physics prodigy, Sheldon Cooper.

304
00:11:42,541 --> 00:11:44,642
A great pleasure.

305
00:11:44,646 --> 00:11:46,942
I had an obligation to fulfill.

306
00:11:46,946 --> 00:11:50,749
So I closed my eyes
and thought of science.

307
00:11:52,136 --> 00:11:54,304
Just like on my honeymoon.

308
00:11:57,104 --> 00:11:58,802
How's pizza sound for dinner?

309
00:11:58,806 --> 00:12:00,470
You think I'm eating dinner

310
00:12:00,474 --> 00:12:02,505
with my mom on a Saturday night?

311
00:12:02,509 --> 00:12:04,811
You're adorable.

312
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,144
Guess I'm eating alone.

313
00:12:08,148 --> 00:12:10,213
What about Missy?

314
00:12:10,217 --> 00:12:11,681
She's not talking to me.

315
00:12:11,685 --> 00:12:13,617
She'd talk to you if
you just let her go.

316
00:12:13,621 --> 00:12:15,205
You know I can't do that.

317
00:12:15,209 --> 00:12:16,955
Come on. I went to school dances,

318
00:12:16,959 --> 00:12:18,822
and I turned out fine.

319
00:12:18,826 --> 00:12:21,123
I didn't let you go to any dances.

320
00:12:21,127 --> 00:12:23,393
I did all kinds of stuff
behind your back.

321
00:12:23,397 --> 00:12:24,661
Like what?

322
00:12:24,665 --> 00:12:26,896
I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb.

323
00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:29,349
So I'm supposed to just let her do

324
00:12:29,353 --> 00:12:30,354
whatever she wants?

325
00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:31,859
Yeah, I don't think so.

326
00:12:31,863 --> 00:12:33,996
I'm just saying she's a good kid.

327
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,200
Be glad she's still asking.

328
00:12:39,647 --> 00:12:41,911
So, how'd you two meet?

329
00:12:41,915 --> 00:12:44,381
Oh, I've been cutting
his mom's hair for years.

330
00:12:44,385 --> 00:12:45,715
Oh, that's nice.

331
00:12:45,719 --> 00:12:47,487
Bet you when she cuts your hair,

332
00:12:47,491 --> 00:12:49,292
you get a lollipop, don't you?

333
00:12:50,190 --> 00:12:52,856
Oh, he gets more than a lollipop.

334
00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:54,928
- Really? Is that so?
- Dale.

335
00:12:56,063 --> 00:12:58,595
Okay, so what is it you do, Langston?

336
00:12:58,599 --> 00:12:59,696
Justin.

337
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:02,399
Actually, I'm about to open
a frozen yogurt shop.

338
00:13:02,403 --> 00:13:04,092
Frozen yogurt. Right.

339
00:13:04,096 --> 00:13:05,928
Isn't that, like, crappy ice cream?

340
00:13:05,932 --> 00:13:09,048
We consider it a healthy alternative.

341
00:13:09,052 --> 00:13:11,317
Right. Crappy ice cream.

342
00:13:11,321 --> 00:13:13,286
It's actually getting really popular.

343
00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:14,687
I'm gonna invest.

344
00:13:14,691 --> 00:13:15,822
Invest money?

345
00:13:15,826 --> 00:13:17,857
What else would she invest with?

346
00:13:17,861 --> 00:13:19,598
I don't know. You got fake ice cream.

347
00:13:19,602 --> 00:13:21,526
- How 'bout fake money?
- Well, there's...

348
00:13:21,530 --> 00:13:24,430
Hey, would you mind going to
get me another drink, please?

349
00:13:24,434 --> 00:13:25,435
Happy to.

350
00:13:25,439 --> 00:13:26,969
Thank you.

351
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,442
What's your problem?

352
00:13:29,446 --> 00:13:30,804
Yeah, what is your problem?

353
00:13:30,808 --> 00:13:32,005
Who said I had a problem?

354
00:13:32,009 --> 00:13:34,207
- We did.
- You're being rude.

355
00:13:34,211 --> 00:13:37,406
Okay, you want to spend all
your money on some boy toy,

356
00:13:37,410 --> 00:13:38,542
it's none of my business.

357
00:13:38,546 --> 00:13:40,647
Why do you care what she
does with her own money?

358
00:13:40,651 --> 00:13:42,083
- Yeah, why?
- Well, you got

359
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:44,619
some young guy running
around, asking for money.

360
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:46,456
You don't think I know
what that's all about?

361
00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:48,911
Okay, he didn't ask... I offered.

362
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,909
And I can do what I want.
I'm a grown woman.

363
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,681
Oh, hell, you were a grown
woman when he was born.

364
00:13:57,766 --> 00:14:00,132
Sheldon, why don't you tell Mr. O'Brien

365
00:14:00,136 --> 00:14:03,309
about some of your goals
at the university.

366
00:14:03,313 --> 00:14:05,779
Well, I'm pushing for
stricter dress codes.

367
00:14:05,783 --> 00:14:07,684
There are a lot of
belly buttons on display.

368
00:14:07,688 --> 00:14:08,786
Science goals.

369
00:14:08,790 --> 00:14:10,091
My ultimate goal is

370
00:14:10,095 --> 00:14:12,445
to one day devise the
grand unified field theory.

371
00:14:12,449 --> 00:14:15,648
Ah. You're one of those, are you?

372
00:14:15,652 --> 00:14:17,051
Excuse me?

373
00:14:17,055 --> 00:14:19,756
Well, Kurt Godel's
incompleteness theorems

374
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:23,628
eliminate the possibility
of a unified theory.

375
00:14:23,632 --> 00:14:26,133
- You honestly believe that?
- Sheldon.

376
00:14:27,361 --> 00:14:29,362
That's... interesting.

377
00:14:29,366 --> 00:14:31,867
Tell me more about how
Einstein's life goal

378
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,639
was nothing but folly.

379
00:14:35,005 --> 00:14:37,238
What is she thinking?

380
00:14:37,242 --> 00:14:40,443
Maybe she's thinking, "Why
did I come here with this guy?"

381
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:41,875
Wait, no,

382
00:14:41,879 --> 00:14:43,265
that's what I'm thinking.

383
00:14:43,269 --> 00:14:45,068
You know what I'm talking about.

384
00:14:45,072 --> 00:14:47,195
She brought him here on purpose.

385
00:14:47,199 --> 00:14:49,249
- What purpose?
- To upset me.

386
00:14:49,253 --> 00:14:52,418
You know, Dale, not everything
is always about you.

387
00:14:52,422 --> 00:14:54,196
Well, you're mad at me, she's mad at me.

388
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,741
It seems like it's all about me.

389
00:14:55,745 --> 00:14:57,344
Well, you owe her an apology.

390
00:14:57,348 --> 00:14:58,556
Like hell I do.

391
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,692
Then I'm gonna do it for you.

392
00:15:00,696 --> 00:15:02,428
No, wait.

393
00:15:02,432 --> 00:15:03,463
Connie, wait.

394
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:04,499
What?

395
00:15:04,503 --> 00:15:06,204
Bring me back a beer.

396
00:15:10,973 --> 00:15:12,040
Missy?

397
00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:13,845
Go away.

398
00:15:13,849 --> 00:15:15,682
I'm not talking to you.

399
00:15:15,686 --> 00:15:17,484
I know you're mad.

400
00:15:17,488 --> 00:15:20,612
But I've been thinking about it, and...

401
00:15:20,616 --> 00:15:25,050
I trust you enough to know
that you will behave yourself.

402
00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:27,786
So, just this once, you can go.

403
00:15:27,790 --> 00:15:29,187
Thanks, Mom. Love you.

404
00:15:30,896 --> 00:15:32,597
Why won't this open?

405
00:15:32,601 --> 00:15:34,235
Sometimes it sticks!

406
00:15:35,364 --> 00:15:36,791
I know, on the surface,

407
00:15:36,795 --> 00:15:38,863
Dale seems like a...

408
00:15:38,867 --> 00:15:40,131
a bully, but,

409
00:15:40,135 --> 00:15:41,367
underneath...

410
00:15:41,371 --> 00:15:42,503
Still a bully.

411
00:15:42,507 --> 00:15:45,674
Well, yes, but a little
less of one, right?

412
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,444
Sure.

413
00:15:47,448 --> 00:15:49,374
Thank you. You know,

414
00:15:49,378 --> 00:15:50,975
I'm gonna bring him a peace offering.

415
00:15:53,049 --> 00:15:54,620
Ain't he cute?

416
00:15:54,624 --> 00:15:56,890
Can you believe that Dale thinks

417
00:15:56,894 --> 00:15:59,685
the only reason you brought him
here is just to piss him off?

418
00:15:59,689 --> 00:16:01,657
That's exactly why I brought him.

419
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:06,161
- What the hell is the matter with you?
- What?

420
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:08,164
Why would you go out of your way

421
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,628
to upset Dale at your own son's wedding?

422
00:16:10,632 --> 00:16:12,531
I don't know. He's my ex-husband.

423
00:16:12,535 --> 00:16:13,800
Well, he's my boyfriend.

424
00:16:13,804 --> 00:16:15,203
Hey, that's your problem.

425
00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:16,806
Well, you're starting to be my problem.

426
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,710
Geez, who's the bully now?

427
00:16:19,708 --> 00:16:22,343
I knew I shouldn't have come here.

428
00:16:26,815 --> 00:16:28,646
Your ex-wife is a bitch.

429
00:16:28,650 --> 00:16:32,017
I am so filled with love
for you right now.

430
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:36,321
I believe we have to look to
gravity and its magnitude...

431
00:16:36,325 --> 00:16:39,090
I was really doing my
best to hold it together.

432
00:16:39,094 --> 00:16:42,994
... could be a repulsive force
if you just add negative mass.

433
00:16:42,998 --> 00:16:44,599
I smiled and nodded

434
00:16:44,603 --> 00:16:47,199
like my meemaw's Houston
Oilers bobblehead.

435
00:16:47,203 --> 00:16:48,804
And I also discovered a way

436
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,533
that we could predict the masses

437
00:16:50,537 --> 00:16:52,103
of all the known particles

438
00:16:52,107 --> 00:16:54,807
using the Egyptian pyramids.

439
00:16:54,811 --> 00:16:58,710
In physics, there's a phenomenon
known as supercritical assembly.

440
00:16:58,714 --> 00:17:02,314
If you bring enough material
together in one place...

441
00:17:02,318 --> 00:17:04,551
The trick is numerology.

442
00:17:04,555 --> 00:17:06,754
... in the right configuration,

443
00:17:06,758 --> 00:17:08,857
eventually, it will explode.

444
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,762
This is fun. Not a lot
of people I can talk to

445
00:17:10,766 --> 00:17:12,824
scientist-to-scientist.

446
00:17:12,828 --> 00:17:15,894
We're not talking
scientist-to-scientist.

447
00:17:15,898 --> 00:17:17,997
You're not a scientist.
You're just a rich man that

448
00:17:18,001 --> 00:17:21,001
no one will be honest to because
everyone wants your money.

449
00:17:23,915 --> 00:17:25,613
Oh, don't listen to him.

450
00:17:25,617 --> 00:17:27,016
I mean, he's just a kid.

451
00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:28,871
Why don't you tell me a little more

452
00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:31,135
about your pyramid thingy? Huh?

453
00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:38,519
It turned out Gary did
appreciate my honesty.

454
00:17:38,523 --> 00:17:41,123
The school got a generous donation.

455
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:43,028
My, my, my.

456
00:17:43,032 --> 00:17:45,667
That is a lot of zeroes.

457
00:17:47,170 --> 00:17:50,837
My father got Oilers tickets
from President Hagemeyer.

458
00:17:50,841 --> 00:17:53,005
50-yard line and free parking?

459
00:17:53,009 --> 00:17:54,579
Hoo-mama.

460
00:17:56,782 --> 00:17:59,507
And I got a brand-new, state-of-the-art

461
00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:01,007
antistatic lab chair.

462
00:18:05,798 --> 00:18:08,233
It works.

463
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,500
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