"Will & Grace" is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
- Big day. - Big day for you, too.
Hey, this suit says "Senior Partner," right?
Not "lesbian minister?"
Change the tie.
And I can still pull off this dress, right?
Yeah, you should pull that dress off
and put on a different dress.
Okay, good call.
You're gonna make senior partner.
And you're gonna land this client.
Can you imagine? Me doing 15 boutique hotels.
I mean, that would change the entire trajectory
of my business. Oh, hey, hey.
- What about that short little... - What did we say
about miniskirts after 40?
No more knees.
If I get this, I know exactly
what the rest of my life would be like, you know?
No more worries. No surprises.
Yep, that's why your letters to Santa always had a P.S.
"Don't get creative. Stay on list."
What's gay, beautiful, and just got rich
for doing nothing?
Jared Kushner?
It's me.
I gave Theodore at work a dollar to buy a scratcher,
and he just texted me we won two grand.
I'm a thousandaire.
Wait, who's Theodore? I thought you worked
for a guy named Alvin.
Theodore's Alvin's brother. They both work
at the Rec Center.
Do Theodore and Alvin have another brother named Simon?
You're much older than me,
so I don't get your Chipmunks reference.
- Better? - I don't love the scarf.
It's a little too, "Put your tray tables
in the locked and upright position."
- I knew it. - Give the scarf to me.
You see? Now the fan makes sense.
Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com
Thanks, Caddy. Put my clubs over there.
Oh, and tell Masseur that I just played the front nine
and need a back rub.
Actually, tell him I played the back nine
and need a front rub.
Say, a morphine drip.
Why, that's a nice touch.
No card? Huh.
Hello, this is Mrs. Walker in 705.
Who do I have to thank
for this lovely morphine drip in my room?
What? I'm not recovering
from plastic surgery.
I've never had anything done in my life
in the United States.
What do you mean, someone else booked the room?
I pay a lot of money to belong to this country club,
and I booked this hospitality suite months ago.
I'd like to see who has balls big enough to ask me to move.
Well, well, well.
I must have died during surgery,
'cause the devil herself is before me.
Why, Beverley Leslie.
I thought they'd torn down
all the corroded old Confederate statues.
You remember my business associate, Benji.
What happened to the other Benji?
Ooh, something terrible happened to him.
He got old.
Give us the room, Benji. Go work on your hammies
for our meeting later.
Now that the pleasantries are over with,
get out of my room, Dixie Dinklage.
I'm not going anywhere.
I've just had extensive plastic surgery.
Where? Oh, wait.
Let me guess. Labia reconstruction?
- Now get out of my room. - I'm not going anywhere.
Please, just let me rest for a little while.
We'll discuss this later. Now, help me into the bed.
Oh, all right.
I've seen Gardener do this with sacks of peat moss.
Now hook up my morphine drip.
- Oh, I'm in terrible pain. - You think you're in pain.
This martini is dry as a bone.
And since we would custom make everything in the rooms,
your hotel guests could go online and buy all of it.
Now, Eli, I know that we're a small business.
It's just me, my assistant, and an apprentice designer.
But I promise you that we can rise to the occasion.
Should I sleep with Andy Cohen?
You're gonna have to go with your gut on that one.
Well, I get what you're all about.
You've got a great eye.
I guess it's just, like,
"Do I wanna write a Cinderella story?"
I think you do.
You could be my fairy godmother.
I didn't mean "fairy" like "gay."
Unless you loved it, and in that case,
it's like, "Hey!"
I'm getting on a helicopter at eight.
It's between you and one other designer.
Think about something you can bring to the table
that's gonna close this deal.
Um, you know what? I think I have something
that you might like.
Tony?
You need me, Grace?
Okay, I like where your head's at.
What's your kink?
- I'm straight. - I'm listening.
- I... I don't know. - I mean, I guess I also like
cuddling with my girlfriend afterwards.
I don't really know her, so I'm gonna pass.
Um, darn it?
- I'm sorry, Tony. - Um, can you grab the layouts
that we were working on?
- Sure thing. - Thank you.
I wasn't quite ready to show you these yet,
but I...
- Who's that? - My roommate.
And I will call him back.
Is he into guys?
Big time homo.
You wanna go to the ball, Cinderella?
Stick that in a pumpkin and send it my way.
Okay.
So, the scratcher's in your hand.
Then what happens? Don't leave anything out.
- Okay, you ready for this? - Yeah, yeah.
I need three matching numbers.
I have two with one box
- left to scratch, okay? - Oh, my God, Theodore!
Okay, so, keep going. Yeah.
All right, so I found a pencil
with a missing eraser, right? And I think to myself,
"Will this metal band work
as a scratching device?"
Only one way to find out.
I try it. It works.
Third matching number. $2,000.
Oh, my gosh!
That story had conflict. It had drama.
It's what Shonda calls "conflama."
And don't you think I forgot who bought me the ticket.
I got something coming to you, too.
Theodore.
There you go. Love you, man.
Thanks for the dollar.
Yo, check out this mini espresso maker I just bought.
It's coming in a little later today.
Pop a mini pod in, makes a perfect cup of coffee.
Where's the other $999?
- What you mean? - I paid for that ticket.
So half the money is mine.
I already bought a very expensive item.
What?
Not a jean jacket with my best friend Karen's face
emblazoned on the back, if that's what you're implying.
Jack, that money isn't yours.
- You said, "We won $2,000." - I said, "I won $2,000."
- You said, "We"! - I said, "I."
- Check the text. - I will!
What matters here is the principle, Theodore.
I financed your investment.
You should give me half that money.
But I'm not going to.
So we got conflict and we got drama.
How dare you throw conflama in my face?
Hello?
No, you got the wrong number. This is not Jhanvi.
No, it's not Nirmalan, either.
Yes, ma'am. If I see either one,
I'll tell them to call home.
- Well, anything? - No.
The review went great.
I'm still waiting for them to call.
Hello?
No, I am not Jhanvi.
Wait, is this Nirmalan?
You're supposed to call your mom.
Happy to help.
How'd your meeting go?
- Great. - It's between me
and one other designer.
That's amazing. What can you do
to seal the deal?
Well, I feel like I've done all I can do.
You know what I was thinking about today for some reason?
How cool is it that gay guys
don't make a big deal about sex?
That's a huge generalization.
Yeah, but you know what I mean.
It's like, you could hook up with a guy you barely know
and it would be fine.
Maybe in my 20s.
Yeah, but who doesn't miss their 20s?
Being a young single guy having meaningless sex
with a young single guy.
Potentially helping a friend in the process.
Grace.
Are you trying to pimp me out to your client?
No, of course not. Unless you're up for it.
Grace!
I'm sorry. Okay, okay.
Just forget what I said. I'm a terrible person.
It's just that you called in the middle of my presentation,
and Eli said that you had a cute gay face,
and I said you were a big time homo, and...
Eli, as in Eli Wolf? Your hotel guy is Eli Wolf?
Yeah, you've heard of him?
Of course I've heard of Eli Wolf.
He's a total power gay.
He's hot. He's rich.
He's exactly who a potential senior partner should be with.
And you're a potential senior partner.
I know. I love him for me.
Aww, nuts.
There's nothing in the mini-bar.
Or, as you call it, bar.
Has that morphine kicked in yet?
Karen, I've always considered you a dear friend.
That's a yes.
I feel a burning need to share something
intensely personal with you.
But it's just so hard to say out loud.
Oh, for God's sake. Don't cry.
You look like Jeff Sessions watching a black man vote.
Karen, this may come as a great shock to you.
But I'm a homosexual.
That's it?
What's your next bombshell?
Harvey Weinstein isn't always a perfect gentleman?
That's it. I'm gay.
Does the hustler posing as your business associate know?
He suspects.
Karen, I need you to help me come out to my wife, Crystal.
Tonight would be a good night to tell her,
but it's her 90th birthday, and I'm afraid the shock
might kill her.
Come to think of it, tonight might be
the perfect night to tell her.
All right. Fine.
But if I help you, I get my room back.
Deal.
Wait a minute. Crystal's already dead.
I went to her funeral.
You and original Benji had the first dance.
The first shovel of dirt on the coffin revived her.
And I learned a valuable lesson.
Appreciate every day of your life.
And when it comes to your loved ones,
cremate.
Always cremate.
But that's not right. I didn't sign for it.
No, I don't have the espresso maker in my possession.
So whoever told you...
Oh, hey, partner.
Where is she?
Where's my tiny coffee maker, Jack?
Oh, she's in a safe place.
But you'll never find her without me.
- Is it the girl's bathroom? - No.
- Get out the way or I'll... - Or you'll what?
You can't hit a gay man. It's a hate crime.
Besides, the second you walk out,
I'll find where you're keeping that money you owe me.
Yeah, good luck with that.
Is it in the cigar box inside the shoebox
- inside your desk drawer? - No.
Ah, ow, oh.
- Ha! - Ha ha!
- Ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha ha!
Gimme half that money or else!
Or else hitting a black man is a hate crime, too.
Rarely enforced, but still.
- Well, I'm not racist. - And I'm not homophobic.
Then it looks like we've arrived
at a real Mexican stand-off.
Wait, is that bad?
Should it be Hispanic stand-off?
Or is saying "stand-off" like I think they're all standoffish?
I think you need to be more earth tone, neutral.
And I think it's Latino-American now.
Oh, right. Totally.
Then it looks like we're arrived at a real
Latino-American misunderstanding.
Will, congratulations.
I made senior partner.
I know exactly what the rest of my life
is gonna look like.
And I feel... I don't know what I feel.
Is this really what I want?
Charles has so much suppressed rage,
he's gnawed off all his nail beds.
I think Eileen's dead.
Goldblet. God, he's always hated me.
Welcome, Will. You're one of us now.
One of us. One of us.
- One of us. - Run.
One of us. One of...
I hate my job.
My whole life, I've been working towards
something that I don't even want.
I thought I wanted to be partner, but I don't.
I thought I wanted to have sex with you, but I don't.
Oh, no, no, no. No, I can rally.
Look, no more tears.
- Let's have some fun. - Okay.
It's just that I, uh, I hate my job.
I just got a text from Eli that the date was a bust.
What happened?
I was upset. I wasn't exactly in the mood.
Well, couldn't you at least have given him
a little something-something?
I would have done it for you.
You absolutely would not have.
Well, it's different for a woman.
Thank you. I just lost
the biggest gig of my career.
- Something you wanna ask me? - What else is there?
Of course. I'm such an idiot.
Did he say what hotel he was staying in?
That's the question you have for me?
I remember. He said he was
taking a helicopter.
Maybe I can still fix this.
Hello?
Hey, Jhanvi.
Yes, I have been crying.
You know what hurts more than the money?
Although, make no mistake, the money hurt a great deal.
I thought you were a good person.
Well, that's entirely on you.
'Cause I've given you absolutely no reason
to think well of me.
Mr. McFarland, can you walk me to the subway?
My dad's car died.
But he's a Lyft driver. How's he gonna do his job?
He's not. The repairs cost, like, $1,800.
Isn't that about $2,000 minus a tiny coffee machine?
- That must be - a white person question.
Tasha, wait.
Just tell your dad you found a scratcher
and you won enough money to get his car fixed, okay?
- What do you mean? - He means,
"I'm gonna give you the money."
What are you...
What... What...
Oh, my God. You're an amazing person.
Wait, that's not even his.
It's not about whose money it is, Theodore.
It's about Tasha and the nice thing I just did for her.
Thank you so much. I'll wait out front.
Okay.
Great.
I knew you were a good person, Theodore.
At least your coffee machine's paid for.
I may have made a very expensive credit card purchase
that I can't pay off now.
Can't you just return it?
Not really.
Beverley, I'm back. Beverley!
Sorry, Crystal and I were helping each other
use the toilet. Don't try to get up
on your own, birthday girl!
It's like her arms are made out of balsa wood.
I thought long and hard about how to help you
come out to Crystal.
What on Earth are you talking about?
The secret you told me when you were guzzling morphine
- like a little hamster. - What exactly did I tell you?
That you like Ding Dongs more than Ho Ho's.
That you gobble more hot dogs
than a Japanese competitive eater.
That you've been ridden by more bears than a bike
in a Russian circus.
Pip-posterous. Me, a homosexual?
The very idea makes me howl with manly laughter.
- Get out of my room. - This is my room,
and I would never give it up to you.
We had a deal, you finger puppet.
- The deal is off. - All right.
Well, I guess you win this round, Beverley.
But before I go, let me just send
my birthday wishes to your beautiful bride.
What did you say in that message?
Just a suggestion as to how
she could celebrate this birthday with her husband.
Oh, sweet Jesus.
That means she wants to make love.
From the front.
Chin up, Beverley. Think of it like golf.
Just keep hacking away at the sand trap,
and hope you get it close to the hole.
Eli, wait.
I've already made my decision, Grace. you would.
Well, you should have picked me.
I have vision.
And instinct.
And if you're going to ignore all of that
because I didn't get you laid, well, then I don't wanna
work with you anyway.
I did choose you, Grace. You got the job.
This is big, Grace.
I need to be your only client.
I'm all yours. This is my dream job.
Too bad Will doesn't feel the same way about his job, huh?
What do you mean?
Did he hear something?
I didn't ask him.
I get it, universe. I'm garbage.
Oh, look. It's white Diana Ross.
I didn't ask you why you were upset.
You didn't make senior partner?
- No, I did. - Congratulations!
- And I'm miserable. - Why?
Because I don't wanna be a corporate lawyer
for the rest of my life.
I was wrong, Grace.
I want surprises.
Will, you want surprises?
How about this? Come work with me.
What?
Eli hired me to do his hotels.
It is working on a scale that I never even dreamed of.
I mean, I'm thrilled, but I'm terrified.
It's too big for me. I... I can't do it alone.
- What exactly are you... - Quit your job.
Let's run my business together.
Grace, what you're saying goes against every fiber
of my being. I'd be taking
the biggest risk of my life.
- So you're in? - 100 percent.
Yeah!
Oh, my God! I'm so excited!
- Me and you. - You and me.
- We're the perfect team. - Perfect team.
- Will and Grace. - Uh...
It sounds weird.
Grace and Will. Now that sounds like a thing.
Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com