1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:02,937
- Previously on Young Sheldon...
- Hello, Mrs. Cooper.

2
00:00:02,938 --> 00:00:05,702
I just wanted to let you know,
with Dr. Sturgis away,

3
00:00:05,703 --> 00:00:08,302
I'll be available should
Sheldon need anything.

4
00:00:08,303 --> 00:00:11,172
Now, I'm not terribly experienced
around children.

5
00:00:11,173 --> 00:00:12,469
If he needs to use the restroom,

6
00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:15,342
I don't have to go in with him, do I?

7
00:00:15,343 --> 00:00:16,929
I don't need you to babysit me.

8
00:00:16,930 --> 00:00:18,612
I'm perfectly self-reliant.

9
00:00:18,613 --> 00:00:19,989
Then it's good I kept the receipt

10
00:00:19,990 --> 00:00:23,152
for this bottle of bubbles
shaped like a bear.

11
00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:25,401
Welcome to the world of philosophy.

12
00:00:25,402 --> 00:00:26,859
I'm going to teach you

13
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,492
that you don't even know
what you think you know.

14
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Oh, boy.

15
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,109
I'm not going to school.

16
00:00:33,110 --> 00:00:35,452
- Why not?
- Because I don't know what's real.

17
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,132
Nothing matters.

18
00:00:38,133 --> 00:00:39,915
George?!

19
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:45,628
All right,

20
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:46,713
what's the problem here?

21
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,339
I don't know what's real.

22
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:50,239
That's a fun thing to think
about on the way to school.

23
00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:51,301
Get up and get dressed.

24
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:53,149
Maybe I'm already dressed.

25
00:00:53,150 --> 00:00:55,555
Maybe I'm wearing a zoot suit and spats.

26
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,891
That's a shoe covering that's
short for "spatterdasher."

27
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,072
Or is it?

28
00:01:00,073 --> 00:01:01,436
There's no way to know.

29
00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:03,689
Here's what I know: I don't
have time for this nonsense.

30
00:01:03,690 --> 00:01:04,897
What is time?

31
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,525
What is sense? What is "is"?

32
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:08,943
Sheldon, I mean it.

33
00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:11,446
I remember when things meant things.

34
00:01:11,447 --> 00:01:13,448
All right, I'm gonna
count to three. One...

35
00:01:13,449 --> 00:01:16,279
Believing in numbers...
that takes me back.

36
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,040
- Two...
- To be or not to be.

37
00:01:18,050 --> 00:01:19,912
Shakespeare was onto something.

38
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It's your last chance.

39
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,592
Have you ever wondered
if you're the tongue

40
00:01:23,593 --> 00:01:25,792
of a multidimensional being
trying to taste something

41
00:01:25,793 --> 00:01:27,546
you can never even understand?

42
00:01:28,550 --> 00:01:30,174
I have.

43
00:01:34,420 --> 00:01:35,860
I talked to him.

44
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,306
Where is your mother?

45
00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:39,474
She had to leave for work.

46
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I have to work, too.

47
00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:43,019
You also get to take me to school.

48
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:45,021
What am I supposed to
do about your brother?

49
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:46,219
Call me old-fashioned,

50
00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:47,565
but I say spank him.

51
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,401
Your mom won't let me.

52
00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:07,750
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
... www.addic7ed.com ...

53
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,872
Okay, I'm here.

54
00:02:10,873 --> 00:02:12,512
What's up?

55
00:02:12,513 --> 00:02:14,519
Sheldon won't get out of bed,
and I'm gonna be late for work.

56
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:15,677
He's gonna be late for school.

57
00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:18,055
So you want me to get
him up and drive him?

58
00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:20,260
- Yeah.
- I like it better

59
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,726
when I just come eat
your food and leave.

60
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,220
Hey, Moon Pie.

61
00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:27,063
What's going on here?

62
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:28,559
That's an excellent question.

63
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Too bad there's no answer.

64
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,526
Well, you need to get out of bed.

65
00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:33,486
I don't need to do anything.

66
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Okay, I'm gonna count to three.

67
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,781
Dad already counted to three.

68
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,032
Oh.

69
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,576
Did he try the Texas thing?

70
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,469
- No.
- In that case,

71
00:02:43,470 --> 00:02:45,660
look at you, lyin' there.

72
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,499
When a Texan gets knocked off a horse,

73
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,085
he gets right back on.

74
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That is the second most important thing

75
00:02:50,883 --> 00:02:52,482
about bein' a Texan,

76
00:02:52,483 --> 00:02:56,343
right after thinkin' you're
better than everybody else.

77
00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:59,180
Maybe the horse gets back on the Texan.

78
00:02:59,190 --> 00:03:00,264
Who's to say?

79
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,550
I don't know what that means.

80
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,686
That's because you can't know anything.

81
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,132
If you need to stare at the ceiling

82
00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:11,119
and contemplate the
futility of existence,

83
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,690
Missy's bed is available.

84
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:18,322
- Amazing.
- What is?

85
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:21,142
I've been using this same
pen for seven months,

86
00:03:21,143 --> 00:03:22,493
and it's still going.

87
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,359
That's your bar for amazing?

88
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,200
Yeah.

89
00:03:26,210 --> 00:03:27,749
Sad.

90
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,333
It's the same pen.

91
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,670
It is too early in the morning for you.

92
00:03:32,940 --> 00:03:34,464
Hello.

93
00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:36,880
Yeah. I'll be down in a bit.

94
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,262
Where ya headed?

95
00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:41,679
Principal's office.

96
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,056
Ooh, you're in trouble...

97
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,349
You're a child.

98
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,895
I'd rather be a child than in trouble.

99
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,600
Shelly, Dr. Sturgis is
on the line for you.

100
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:55,902
Maybe he is, maybe he
isn't, but very well.

101
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,987
- Hello?
- Hi, Sheldon.

102
00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:01,699
I hear you're going through
some sort of existential crisis.

103
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,152
I suppose so.

104
00:04:03,153 --> 00:04:05,649
I just don't know if we can
tell what's real or not.

105
00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:06,875
And if nothing's real,

106
00:04:06,876 --> 00:04:10,041
I don't know what to think or
if I'm even thinking at all.

107
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:12,668
I went through something similar once.

108
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,587
Really? What happened?

109
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,570
I was trekking through the Amazon,

110
00:04:17,571 --> 00:04:19,972
and I saw two frogs,

111
00:04:19,973 --> 00:04:22,140
one hallucinogenic

112
00:04:22,141 --> 00:04:23,810
and the other not.

113
00:04:23,811 --> 00:04:27,767
I tried to lick the normal one,

114
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,101
and, by mistake,

115
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,812
I licked the hallucinogenic one.

116
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It really rocked my world.

117
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Why would you lick either of them?

118
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I'm not sure. Probably low blood sugar.

119
00:04:39,770 --> 00:04:41,199
But the point is,

120
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I also lost track of reality.

121
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,409
How did you handle it?

122
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,332
I saw a jaguar,

123
00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:51,529
and I realized I didn't care
if it was real or not.

124
00:04:51,530 --> 00:04:54,335
I just hauled my tushy out of there.

125
00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:56,142
I appreciate the call.

126
00:04:56,143 --> 00:04:57,880
I'm giving you back to my meemaw now.

127
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,591
Bye!

128
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,555
Hey, John, any luck?

129
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:08,432
Not unless you have access to a jaguar.

130
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,101
I don't think I do.

131
00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:13,145
Really, any jungle cat will do.

132
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,772
Hey, Tom.

133
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,023
George.

134
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,449
Sheldon's not here anymore.

135
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:18,999
Thought it'd be a while
before I got called back

136
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,611
into the principal's office.

137
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,697
How's he doing? I miss that kid.

138
00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:25,439
He took a philosophy class
and won't get out of bed

139
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,661
'cause he doesn't know
what's real anymore.

140
00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:31,497
Anyway, uh, we need
to talk about Georgie.

141
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,612
Should've seen that coming.

142
00:05:33,613 --> 00:05:35,293
- What's wrong?
- Well,

143
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:37,044
he's been cutting classes.

144
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,338
Already? Semester's barely started.

145
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,965
He's a go-getter.

146
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:42,679
Mm.

147
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,540
- I'll talk to him.
- Thanks.

148
00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:48,389
How's the team looking
this year, George?

149
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:51,299
We just had one difficult
conversation, Tom.

150
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:52,978
Let's not have another.

151
00:05:52,979 --> 00:05:54,279
Smart.

152
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:57,857
While my meemaw wasn't
able to acquire a jungle cat,

153
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:01,939
the idea of tormenting a child
did tickle her Texan fancy.

154
00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:03,560
Sheldon.

155
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:09,827
I have someone else
who wants to talk to you.

156
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,621
What are you doing
with that filthy thing?

157
00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:12,952
Why do you care?

158
00:06:12,953 --> 00:06:14,820
If nothing is real,

159
00:06:14,821 --> 00:06:16,482
then neither is the chicken.

160
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,671
Oh. Good.

161
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:23,049
We're standing now. That's progress.

162
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,258
Get her out of here.

163
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:28,095
Well, I would, but... apparently,

164
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:31,265
I can't know what "here" is.

165
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,879
So maybe I could just...

166
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,018
set her on your bed.

167
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,602
Okay! Okay.

168
00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:36,688
I'll get dressed.

169
00:06:36,689 --> 00:06:38,140
Make it snappy.

170
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,776
This still doesn't solve
my existential crisis.

171
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,486
Say what? You want to hold her?

172
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,154
No.

173
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,882
Less talk.

174
00:06:46,883 --> 00:06:48,325
More pants.

175
00:06:55,693 --> 00:06:56,962
What's your first class?

176
00:06:56,963 --> 00:06:59,800
Solid-State Physics at 11:30.

177
00:06:59,801 --> 00:07:01,837
We'll make it just in time.

178
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,798
- Although, does...
- And before you say

179
00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:06,572
"Does time even exist?" it does.

180
00:07:06,573 --> 00:07:08,539
So stop wasting mine.

181
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,183
What's this philosophy teacher's name?

182
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,227
Professor Ericson. Why?

183
00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:18,270
I might pop in and say hello.

184
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,549
Be careful.

185
00:07:19,550 --> 00:07:22,525
She may make you question
your most deeply held values.

186
00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:24,492
I'm a stubborn old crank.

187
00:07:24,493 --> 00:07:26,260
I'll do just fine.

188
00:07:26,261 --> 00:07:28,739
I'm a stubborn young crank,
and it didn't help me.

189
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:33,704
You wanted to see me?

190
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,122
Sit down.

191
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,499
Is this gonna take long?
I need to get to class.

192
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,699
From what I hear, you
don't care about that.

193
00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:41,790
Now, sit.

194
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,551
What the hell you doin'?

195
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,886
I cut a class. Who cares?

196
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,382
It was more than one, and I care.

197
00:07:53,383 --> 00:07:55,975
You start flunking out, you're
gonna get kicked off the team.

198
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,351
Fine.

199
00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,645
Now you don't care about football?

200
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,010
Not really.

201
00:08:02,150 --> 00:08:03,477
I don't know what's going on with you,

202
00:08:03,478 --> 00:08:05,443
but you better get your
head out of your ass.

203
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:06,932
Football's a waste of time.

204
00:08:06,933 --> 00:08:08,612
I have a job I could be at.

205
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:11,323
You made a commitment to the
team and you're gonna honor it.

206
00:08:13,303 --> 00:08:15,260
We done?

207
00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:18,623
Just get back to class.

208
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,665
And I better see you at practice.

209
00:08:22,666 --> 00:08:25,422
Well, I don't know if I can find
it with my head up my ass.

210
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:28,257
So,

211
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,322
according to de Broglie,
lambda equals "h"

212
00:08:30,323 --> 00:08:31,840
divided by "m" times what?

213
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:35,056
- Sheldon.
- Is it velocity?

214
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:37,808
- Yes. Now...
- Or is it a velociraptor?

215
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:38,934
I'm sorry?

216
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:42,813
Perhaps lambda equals "h" divided
by "m" times a velociraptor.

217
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:45,192
Or a velveteen rabbit.

218
00:08:45,193 --> 00:08:46,392
Ooh, or Velveeta.

219
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,149
That's the cheese my
mom puts on broccoli

220
00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:49,821
when she's being fancy.

221
00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:52,600
Is this from your philosophy class

222
00:08:52,601 --> 00:08:55,102
or perhaps that Ren &
Stumpy I've heard about?

223
00:08:55,103 --> 00:08:56,450
Philosophy.

224
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,399
Mr. Cooper, do you really believe

225
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,372
that de Broglie's equation
contains Velveeta cheese?

226
00:09:02,373 --> 00:09:05,128
I don't know. Maybe he was
just trying to be fancy.

227
00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:07,004
Hello.

228
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,629
Can I help you?

229
00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:10,279
Hi. I'm Connie Tucker.

230
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,219
I'm Sheldon Cooper's grandmother.

231
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:14,970
Oh. Nice to meet you.

232
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,219
He is a remarkable young man.

233
00:09:17,220 --> 00:09:20,959
Yes, he is. He's also a very
impressionable young man.

234
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,687
Kind of like a lump of
clay with a bow tie.

235
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:27,100
All I did was teach him
about epistemology.

236
00:09:27,101 --> 00:09:28,770
Whatever it is you're teaching him,

237
00:09:28,771 --> 00:09:31,902
it has made him question everything.

238
00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:33,197
That's the goal.

239
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,499
Lady, I had to threaten
him with a chicken

240
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:37,368
so he'd put his pants on.

241
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:39,325
I don't know what's
gotten into that kid.

242
00:09:39,326 --> 00:09:41,831
He's allowed to not
want to play football.

243
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:44,959
Can you for once in your
life take my side, Wayne?

244
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,082
Not my fault you're never right.

245
00:09:47,083 --> 00:09:49,713
So you think it's okay he just quits?

246
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,470
He doesn't get that much playing time.

247
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,122
Well, in my family, we don't quit.

248
00:09:55,123 --> 00:09:58,139
Oh, I don't know. You quit
my book club pretty quick.

249
00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,640
I'm talking about football!

250
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:02,010
Why is it so important
to you that he play?

251
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,179
Are you sure you're a coach?

252
00:10:04,180 --> 00:10:08,899
Team sports provides confidence,
leadership, discipline.

253
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,169
So does holding down a job,

254
00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:11,778
which he seems to shine at.

255
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,030
Let's just eat in silence.

256
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,060
Fine.

257
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,622
I still think you should have
read The Color Purple.

258
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,082
We were bawling.

259
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,043
Although tasty, a brick of
cheese is not a number.

260
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,421
Why are we still talking about this?

261
00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:32,089
Maybe we're not talking at all.

262
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,350
Okay, that's enough for today.

263
00:10:35,140 --> 00:10:37,169
Not your best lecture.

264
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,000
It's fairly normal for first-time
philosophy students

265
00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:41,932
to have their worldviews shaken.

266
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,559
Do they snap out of it?

267
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,342
Well, you hope.

268
00:10:45,343 --> 00:10:48,439
Professor Ericson, I insist...

269
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,067
Hello, Connie. What a pleasant surprise.

270
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:52,520
Hey.

271
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:55,070
I'm sorry you're about to see me
speak harshly to my colleague.

272
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,069
- Have at it.
- Professor Ericson,

273
00:10:57,070 --> 00:10:58,479
I insist that you speak
to this young man

274
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,479
and explain to him that reality is real,

275
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,862
and it's possible to
know things as fact.

276
00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:05,629
The class is called
"Introduction to Philosophy."

277
00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:06,790
That's what I did.

278
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,629
Well, un-introduce him.

279
00:11:08,630 --> 00:11:11,099
Yes, he's at this school 'cause
of his brilliant scientific mind,

280
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,172
and he spent my last class

281
00:11:12,173 --> 00:11:14,131
talking about processed cheese.

282
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,502
Sheldon, is that true?

283
00:11:15,503 --> 00:11:16,800
Nothing's true.

284
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:19,260
You see what you've done? You broke him.

285
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:22,891
Hey.

286
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,269
How come you didn't want to
get out of bed this morning?

287
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:30,599
If I can't know what's
real, what's the point?

288
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,169
You have the right words.

289
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,629
You're just saying them wrong.

290
00:11:35,630 --> 00:11:38,399
It's not, "What's the point?"

291
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,491
It's, "What's the point?"

292
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:42,739
I don't understand.

293
00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:45,840
Asking these questions is exciting.

294
00:11:45,841 --> 00:11:48,042
It's what gets me out of bed.

295
00:11:48,043 --> 00:11:50,909
That's interesting.

296
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:53,329
Richard Feynman did say
the greatest joy in life

297
00:11:53,330 --> 00:11:55,542
is the pleasure of finding things out.

298
00:11:55,543 --> 00:11:58,175
Feynman... he's the physics guy, right?

299
00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,800
Yes. And your perfume is beguiling.

300
00:12:01,940 --> 00:12:04,090
It's all making sense to me now.

301
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:05,392
Thank you.

302
00:12:05,393 --> 00:12:07,309
I am happy to help.

303
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,379
Dr. Linkletter, I'm dropping your class

304
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,232
and switching my major to philosophy.

305
00:12:11,233 --> 00:12:12,980
Uh, what?

306
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:19,069
It's funny.

307
00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:20,379
This morning, I couldn't get out of bed,

308
00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:23,200
and now I stand before a whole
new exciting field of study.

309
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:26,939
Well, maybe instead of
making this big switch,

310
00:12:26,940 --> 00:12:28,250
you could study both.

311
00:12:28,256 --> 00:12:31,399
You could be physics-philosophy guy.

312
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,519
You sound like a logical positivist.

313
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,242
That's a branch of philosophy
that maintains

314
00:12:35,243 --> 00:12:37,380
the best way to philosophize
is through science.

315
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,592
Well, there you go. Do that.

316
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,802
It may be too early to specialize.

317
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:44,221
I've only been a philosopher
for 15 minutes.

318
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:48,139
Did you notice Dr. Linkletter
didn't look too thrilled

319
00:12:48,140 --> 00:12:49,852
about you leaving science?

320
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,499
He never looks thrilled about anything.

321
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:54,099
I think that's just his face.

322
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,540
That's the face.

323
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,990
Why the hell weren't you at practice?

324
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,575
Can't talk right now. I'm working.

325
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,661
Well, you're gonna talk about it.

326
00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:09,422
What do you want from me?

327
00:13:09,423 --> 00:13:11,540
I don't want to play football.
I want to work.

328
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:14,679
You have your whole
life to hold down a job.

329
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:16,400
Hey, I like my job.

330
00:13:16,410 --> 00:13:18,465
It's not my problem you hate yours.

331
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,306
Do whatever you want.

332
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,599
To figure out which school of philosophy

333
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,099
suited me best, I decided
to sample each one.

334
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:36,450
The same way I determined
my favorite flavor of oatmeal...

335
00:13:36,460 --> 00:13:38,190
plain.

336
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,863
What are you doing?

337
00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,922
I'm practicing the
philosophy of cynicism...

338
00:13:44,923 --> 00:13:46,019
the ancient Greek view

339
00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:48,530
that the rules of society
should be ignored.

340
00:13:48,531 --> 00:13:51,063
If you're gonna break rules,
you can do better than that.

341
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:52,579
How?

342
00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:56,008
- _
- Renaissance humanism

343
00:13:56,010 --> 00:13:59,338
is finding meaning in the
human form through art.

344
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,209
Can I move?

345
00:14:01,210 --> 00:14:03,550
- No.
- But my butt itches.

346
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,095
Scratch it on your own time.

347
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:09,819
- _
- Nihilists believe

348
00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:11,514
that there's no point to anything,

349
00:14:11,515 --> 00:14:13,260
because it all ends in nothingness.

350
00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:14,900
Mind if I put on MTV?

351
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,272
Doesn't matter.
We're all gonna die anyway.

352
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,399
Deep thought, dingus.

353
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,478
- _
- Traditionalism is the philosophy

354
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,238
that the best way of life
is a return to the past.

355
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,948
What are you doing?

356
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:29,660
Making my own butter,
like in olden times.

357
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:30,954
That's stupid.

358
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:33,880
My arms are still sore.

359
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,136
- _
- Altruism is the belief

360
00:14:36,137 --> 00:14:39,711
that we should live only by
bringing happiness to others.

361
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,754
These are for you.

362
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,172
Thanks.

363
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:43,499
What the hell?!

364
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,100
- _
- Egoism is the belief

365
00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:48,260
that we should live only by
bringing happiness to ourselves.

366
00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:49,740
Mmm. These are pretty good.

367
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,863
- _
- Transcendentalists were philosophers

368
00:14:52,864 --> 00:14:54,935
who believed that our deepest connection

369
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:56,979
is with nature.

370
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,190
Eh.

371
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:07,532
I'm beautiful.

372
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:12,536
And then Georgie accuses
me of hating my job.

373
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:15,382
Is this where I thought I'd end up? No.

374
00:15:15,383 --> 00:15:17,207
Is this where you thought you'd end up?

375
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:19,432
I thought I'd be working at
my father's funeral home

376
00:15:19,433 --> 00:15:21,160
sewing people's eyes shut.

377
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,005
My life turned out great.

378
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,716
Well, good for you.

379
00:15:25,921 --> 00:15:28,770
The worst part is,
I think Georgie's right.

380
00:15:30,110 --> 00:15:31,692
You're not happy at work?

381
00:15:31,693 --> 00:15:33,492
I can see if my dad's hiring.

382
00:15:33,493 --> 00:15:34,892
How are your sewing skills?

383
00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:37,759
It's not work.

384
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:41,780
Honestly, I don't know
if I'm happy anywhere.

385
00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:46,079
Ugh.

386
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,699
When I asked y'all to hang for a drink,

387
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:50,110
I didn't know you were
gonna be such a bummer.

388
00:15:52,930 --> 00:15:54,660
Geez Louise.

389
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,757
- Dr. Linkletter?
- Sheldon.

390
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:08,209
Good to see you.

391
00:16:08,210 --> 00:16:09,379
Come on in.

392
00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:12,054
I don't suppose you're here
to discuss physics, are you?

393
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:13,263
As a matter of fact, I am.

394
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:14,431
Excellent.

395
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:15,799
I'm here to drop your class.

396
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,267
I just need you to sign this.

397
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,895
Have a seat.

398
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:23,618
Sheldon, I don't know if
you thought this through,

399
00:16:23,619 --> 00:16:25,276
but you're here on a
physics scholarship,

400
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:28,599
and switching to philosophy
may not be well-received.

401
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:29,939
Ordinarily, I'd be concerned,

402
00:16:29,940 --> 00:16:31,659
but I'm currently embracing hedonism.

403
00:16:31,660 --> 00:16:34,015
Sheldon, I've been made
responsible for you,

404
00:16:34,016 --> 00:16:35,819
and so far, it's not going very well.

405
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,229
You were admitted to this university

406
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,622
for your scientific acumen.

407
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:41,918
And changing majors could
have serious repercussions.

408
00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:44,340
Son, please try to understand.

409
00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:46,329
If you abandon physics for philosophy,

410
00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:48,507
you're gonna be missing
out on the opportunity

411
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,669
to be part of something great.

412
00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:51,079
Possibly...

413
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,279
As Dr. Linkletter prattled on,

414
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,847
I couldn't help but notice

415
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:57,349
the beauty of that ephemeral bubble.

416
00:16:57,350 --> 00:17:00,472
I wondered if perhaps
we're all just bubbles,

417
00:17:00,473 --> 00:17:03,349
being buffeted through life
on a stream of currents

418
00:17:03,350 --> 00:17:05,191
beyond our understanding.

419
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:07,620
Look at it. The local
minimization achieves

420
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,859
a global maximization,
and it's nearly perfect.

421
00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:12,549
I wondered if this was the key

422
00:17:12,550 --> 00:17:14,992
to the smoothness of
matter in the universe.

423
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:18,859
The cosmic web of stars and
galaxies could hold it together

424
00:17:18,860 --> 00:17:21,252
like the web of polymers in soap!

425
00:17:21,253 --> 00:17:23,251
This could be a whole
new area of research.

426
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:26,799
Changing majors would be a huge mistake,

427
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:30,720
but if this is what you
really want, here you go.

428
00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:35,172
- Sheldon?
- What?

429
00:17:35,173 --> 00:17:36,263
Here you go.

430
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:37,722
Good luck with philosophy.

431
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,435
Oh, I'm back on science
now. I have work to do.

432
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:49,820
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