Mr. Stewart?
Mr. Stewart.
Excuse me, sir.
Sir?
You need an iPhone charger?
No, no.
- I'm good. - You have iPhone?
Yeah, I got an iPhone, but I'm charged, thank you.
Did you have a nice flight?
- Excuse me? - Did you have a nice flight?
You have a good plane ride?
Yeah, yeah. It was... it was a nice flight.
Good, good. I mean, three planes.
One time we crash.
Terrible, terrible.
Man, yeah. Don't want to be in a plane that crashes.
I fine, but my brother, not so lucky.
I know you! I know this guy!
- You're Damian! - That's right, yeah.
I love this show!
- I'm glad you... - Amazing show!
- Glad you liked it. - I learned English watching this show.
I not know one word English, my friend Sergei say,
"Watch Eternal."
I grew up with you! I know you!
We friends already, Genna and Damian, we friends.
We friends.
I'm, I'm glad you enjoyed the show.
- I love the show. - Lt's great.
I'm not like Luke. Luke not good character.
When he kill you at end of season three.
I so angry, I call my friend Sergei.
I say, "Sergei! What the fuck happen?!"
Why the fuck they kill my friend? Why they kill Damian?!"
He say, "Keep watching."
And then in the next episode,
when you're waking up from under the ice
and all of a sudden your eyes closed like this. Then you go...
And some beautiful women in this show!
- Beautiful womens! - Thank you, yeah. There's some beautiful ones.
lf I could be with these women!
I'd be a happy man.
You, you having sex with these womens?
- Excuse me? - You, you have sex?
You have sex with these womens?
You have sex?
On the show?
You have sex with these womens?
www.subtitulamos.tv
Guys!
Thank you so much for joining us for the season two premiere of Feds.
We're so excited! Guess who's here?
We love you all! Thank you guys so much for watching.
Thank you so much! I don't want to blow my own trumpet,
but I was pretty into that.
Love this show, love you guys.
And I'm the luckiest guy for working with this wonderful woman.
- I love her. - I love you.
- You are the best. - That was so awesome!
- Cheers, guys. - Thank you guys so much.
We couldn't do it without you!
- Hey! - Hey!
What's up, dude?
- Welcome home. - I'm home.
Look at the place.
Not bad? I learned from the best.
I figured I might as well pull my weight around here, right?
Well, well done. This is nice to come home to.
- It's good to see you man. - You too.
- How was the shoot? - lt was all right, you know.
The work was good?
Work was all right. We got throught it.
Worked.
Yeah. I'm happy to be home now.
- Cool, man. - And, on to the next.
I, actually...
We're out of groceries.
So, I was going to go just, stock up on some stuff.
But real quick before I go, I just wanted to give you...
a little gift,
courtesy of the state of California
and their medicinal marijuana laws.
We got indica, sativa,
edibles, suckers, brownie.
These are actually six-to-one CBD-THC ratio.
- I don't even know what that means. - Super relaxing, basically.
Some edibles there. Actually, I'm going to take another one of these.
- This is an impressive spread. - These are pretty mellow.
I've already had two of these, and I don't feel anything.
Indica, put you right to sleep.
- Man. - That's what you need, a good nap.
I'm nervous.
This looks like some intense marijuana.
I feel like if I have some of this, I might start chasing cars down the street.
- Why? You've never smoked weed before? - Looks strong.
The stuff these days, man, it's potent!
All right, suit yourself.
- More for me. - I got to take this.
All right. I'm going to get our groceries, OK?
- I'll be right back. - OK. Thanks.
There's no toilet paper, so,
just maybe wait, like, five minutes, I'll be right back.
Hello?
This is him.
Phillip VanGilmore.
You read for him a month ago. You know, the FBI thing,
that pillow thing.
Right! Wait, how do you know about that?
He wants to see you about a play he's directing.
How about that? What did I tell you?
- Work begets work. - You actually never said that.
I said something like that.
You said, "You're an actor, go act."
Because my livelihood could be simplified into five words.
You should always simplify your life.
Well, life isn't simple.
Well, you know what they say: Life is what you make of it.
Anywho, Baby Boo, Phil thinks you'll be a perfect lead.
You're not doing anything this afternoon.
I actually just walked in the door.
Perfect. I'm gonna set it up for this afternoon.
Wait, what about a script?
Don't worry about it. He said he wants to pitch it to you first, all right?
All right, great. I gotta go. I'll talk to you soon.
You, in my office, let's go.
At the tone, please record your message.
When you finish recording you may hang up,
or press one for more options.
Hey, Sarah! What's happening? It's Seth here.
I just wanted to you give you a call,
see what's going on.
If you're satisfied with the message, press one.
To listen to your message, press two.
To erase and re-record...
Hey Seth! It's, Seth.
It's... dammit.
To erase and re-record...
Hey, Sarah!
It's Seth here.
Hey, Sarah, what's happening?
Hey, Sarah, it's Seth. I just wanted to give you a call...
If you're satisfied with the message, press one.
To listen to...
Hey, Sarah, it's Seth. I just wanted to call and say...
If you're satisfied with the message press one. To listen to...
What the fuck are you doing, bitch?
Thank you. Your message has been sent.
No, no, no, don't send it!
That's awesome.
This is gonna be a more economy, 1-ply.
OK.
This is... this is more luxurious, double-ply.
- But this is more expensive. - Naturally.
It's no shame to have a stack of napkins on your toilet. By all means.
- Save some money. - I'm not gonna...
Are there gonna be any, like, physical consequences?
They may not flush as appropriate as they should.
There are people that use baby wipes.
Very successfully, they work.
- Baby wipes? - Yeah, it's a thorough clean.
You don't have to wet these tissues. They're self-wetting.
That's interesting.
- We can't sell them here. - OK.
- I could get fired for telling you this. - Really? Holy shit.
It's serious shit.
That's what I'm talking about, homie.
- Peace. - All right, yeah, later. See ya.
Cool.
Right off the bat, I just want to tell you,
you did such a great job in that audition.
- lt was amazing. - Thank you.
Yeah, your performance was so,
just present and real, and inmediate.
Yeah, I was wondering about that.
How many people have seen that tape?
At this point, a lot.
Just the first scene, right? Because, I feel like
what we did that second, kind of...
Impromptu scene, with the pillow there, was just for your eyes only.
No, the first scene didn't play on camera as much as I thought.
We ended up cutting that scene, to be honest. But the second scene,
is what we were passing around. And people loved it. It's been all around this town.
So, I wrote a play. It's more of an outline at this point.
It's called Game Night.
You know, a lot of these pages are blank. I'm not going to lie.
A lot of 'em are blank, still.
But that's where you come in as an actor.
What I'm going to do is give you this, have you read it.
I'm going to give you a pen too, 'cause I want you to fill in the gaps.
If you have any ideas, of your character or whatever,
but elevator pitch, all right, it's called Game Night.
It's about three couples.
They all come together at one couple's house.
What we're really kind of tackling is this sort of suburban American malaise.
There're affairs, couples, with each other. It's very satirical.
OK, Game Night. Is that any relation to the Jason Bateman film?
- No. - OK, 'cause I don't know if you knew,
but that movie just was released recently.
- I know, I watched it on an airplane. - OK.
And I enjoyed it, didn't love it.
- lt's a good airplane movie. - lt's a great airplane movie.
- Just good on the airplane. - Yeah, yeah.
You'd be good in an airplane movie.
Anyway, my company, we're called The Satyricons.
The great thing about my company is that even though we've been working
with each other for 30 years, doing theater all over the world,
working constantly on play after play after play, touring the world,
and a lot of these people have credits on Broadway, Chicago, you know, all over,
they're gonna really bring you into the fold.
That being said, I think you're gonna get along with everybody. I think it's gonna be great.
You know, you really... your energy, your career, your success, your fame,
is really gonna bring a lot to this production.
Well, I have a little experience, like you know, I've...
Like I mentioned, obviously, I was at the UC Davis theater company for a little while
and I grew up doing some theater. My mom owns a theater in Ojai.
So, I grew up doing a lot of it. It's been over a decade.
But, I feel like it's like riding a bike for me.
I'll just jump right back on.
Hopefully. That's the plan, at least.
Yeah.
Are you...
That's good, what's that from?
That... that's my life.
- That's real?! - Yes.
I mean, yeah, it's a real story.
You, are you an actor?
Anyone ever tell you you look like an actor?
You're gonna be great in this, you're gonna love it.
That's right, that's right.
Do you play videogames?
Frozen pizza.
I like your style, nice choice.
It's the bomb, right?
So doughy, but crunchy, all at the same time.
Exactly, and this is the kind with the cheese inside the crust.
It's so good.
Especially when you're a little...
Stoned.
Have any extra?
Yeah, I got a lot actually. I have...
Like, oils, I have edibles, gummies.
I've got some with CBD in 'em.
Like, they just make so much cool stuff these days.
- So many different options, you know? - Yeah.
It's very complex.
Yeah, it is, I think. Me t-I think so too.
- I'm Jeremy. - Hi, Dakota.
- Dakota, nice to talk to you. - Good to talk to you too.
All righty, have a good day.
Yeah, you too.
Bye.
- Need a bag? - Yes, please.
I'm so sorry, Dakota, excuse me.
I forgot my receipt.
- Being more responsible these days, you know? - Yeah.
- Cool. All right, have a good one. Later. - OK, OK, yeah. Bye.
Fucking idiot.
Tell me about Bali. Did you have the best time?
I-I have never been somewhere so romantic.
Oliver organized everything. Like...
What did you do? Like, bungee jumping? What do you mean?
Nope. Just sat around and had a good time.
OK, say no more, say no more.
Tell me about you, like, what's...
Nothing but boring stuff, just work is great, everything's good.
- Yeah? Mediation? - But, yeah.
- lt's fine, I mean, you know. - We don't have to talk about it.
We'll just talk about happy things, like you and your new love
and how gorgeous it is, so what? So...
You look like you've got something to tell me.
You're acting a little bit sheepish. What's going on?
Dude, I know you. Can you just remember that I know you?
Yeah, I don't know.
Dude, are you engaged?
I think it's too big.
Are you-you're getting married!
- Are you excited for me? - Yes! I'm so excited for you.
I just feel like, marriage? It's just...
You really know?
I know it's quick, but...
That's okay, that's...
How did he do it? How did he propose?
He hid the box in a sand castle.
And we were walking down the beach,
and he made me dig through the sand castle.
It was really, really weird, and the box was in the sandcastle.
Well, you know, when you know, you know.
- I guess. - You do, you do.
So we've got a date for an engagement party.
But we can't move into our place for a little bit, so we can't do it at ours...
Mate, have it... have it at my place.
Have it at my place. I had the deck redone since Jay moved out.
It looks sexy. It looks gorgeous.
- Really? - We'll get some lights, we'll get it all together. Wait...
Jeremy.
Yeah, I mean, I'd-I'd love Jeremy to be there,
- maybe even Seth. - No, no, no, no.
- What? - Just up there by the light, by the crossing.
What?
Holy shit, that's Jeremy.
What is he wearing? What is going on with...?
We're gonna have to pull over babe.
Can we just...
Oh, my...
- Is he stoned? - Oh, my God.
- That's just... I'm gonna have to... - My God, he looks so lost.
Yeah, just break down that word or that sound, whatever it was. What did you say?
- Shit? - Shit. Shit. Yeah, write "shit,
and then write the first thing that comes to your mind.
Just whatever it is, don't even think about it. Just write it down, now.
Write, write, good, yeah. Keep writing.
- OK. - What did you write down?
"I don't know... what to say."
Great, that's perfect. See: "Shit, comma, I don't know what to say." We have a line of dialogue there.
So just do that again and again and again,
write it all down, and then we'll have your dialogue, you got the play.
OK, look.
I want to be honest with you, it's been,
you know, over a decade since I've been on stage,
so I know you guys have been working together for a long time, so I don't want to hold anybody back.
I'm gonna cut you off right there. First of all, you're not gonna hold us back
because I'm not gonna let that happen. That's my job, don't worry about that.
- OK? - OK.
After that audition, I went back and I watched every episode of Eternal,
every single one, all four seasons.
I've seen your work, I know your work.
Your work in that show is sublime.
You are overqualified for this job.
- Thank you. - You will shine so bright in this play.
- Thank you. - You were so good in that show. So good, so good.
As far as, you know, all the other actors go,
they're okay with me coming in?
- They don't know yet. - OK.
I think the best thing to do is to not tell them,
and then on the first day you'll show up, and we'll go from there.
That's going to be the best. Otherwise they might react strangely. They might not have de right attitude.
Look, that's theater! That's the beauty of theater in America.
We're gonna blow it wide open, we're gonna crack it wide open.
That's my goal. My goal is not the front page of American Theater Weekly.
I'm talking I want to be... not even the Tonys.
It's just a popularity contest.
I'm talking like Southeast Asia experimental shit.
I want to get weird, man. I want to get super weird.
So...
Go home, write, read, think, be.
- Thank you, Phil. - Yeah.
- See you later. - Yeah. Go, go, go, get to work.
Hey, Sierra? Yeah, it's Phil.
Cancel JTT.
Who's the guy I forgot to call,
from, 10 Things I Hate About You?
I still want to meet with that guy, but not for this project.
The Uggs were a really bad choice.
Do you guys want some string cheese?
Please don't eat string cheese in my car.
Why can't you just wait until you get home?
'Cause I'm hungry.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is...?
Is that real?
- What is that? - Of course it's real.
- You're engaged! - I am!
- That's amazing! So good! - lsn't that so good?
- I'm really excited! - So beautiful
- Why... why did you do that?
This is a big deal, isn't it? This engagement. We should all celebrate, right?
- Don't you think? - Yeah.
It totally calls for a celebration. We're all friends.
Friends celebrate these life events, you know?
Do you want to do like,
champagne rooftop thing?
- We could go... - Jeremy, we're gonna be having an engagement party.
- You are? - And if you stop being so rude, maybe you'll be invited.
OK, fine, I won't come. It's not a big deal.
I just thought we were all friends, and it could be fun for us to...
I do, I want you there, and I would love Seth to be there as well.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Seth would definitely go. - Yeah?
Definitely, Seth is such a loving, caring guy, you know?
He thinks about you all the time, talks about you all the time.
How long have you been dating this Oliver guy?
Six months.
Six months?
That's not that long, right, to be engaged?
No, it's not, but, we had a conversation about it.
And we both decided that we didn't want to wait.
You know, I see the logic in that.
I do. Because the sooner that you get married,
the sooner you know whether or not you're gonna get a divorce.
So, it makes sense.
I'm down to get some lunch. Did you say lunch?
Get out!
Okay.
_
Where are you, Sarah?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What?
No.
- Hey, dude. - Hey.
Check it out.
- Look who it is. - It's Sarah.
Yes. Look who she's with.
That's that guy.
- An actor! - Yeah.
She said she doesn't date actors.
- She lied to me, man. - I mean...
She was lying to me the whole time.
That could be good for you, though.
- Why would that be good for me? - 'Cause she dates actors.
That's not the point. She lied to me.
Maybe they're just friends, I mean, he's cool, man.
What do you mean "He's cool, man"?
He's in Disturbia, that's a good movie.
Yeah, well, that's a good movie. Doesn't mean he's cool. How do you know if he's cool or not?
Well, he seems like he's funny, you know?
- He's always doing interesting art and... - Did you...
Did you just buy all frozen food?
Yeah.
- This is all... - I bought frozen pasta,
- frozen potatoes, frozen carrots. - It's all frozen food, man!
You didn't buy any real food?
- That is real fruit... food. - You can't just eat
frozen food all the time. It's not good for you.
I don't get, why...
That stuff was made in, like, 2016.
Why does it being frozen make it bad for you?
It's all genetically engineered shit. You can't have that.
Shit.
_
Everybody's fucking mad at me today, man.
_
Holy shit, dude, this is 4000 calories!
_
And there's like 90,000 trolls behind me,
the sky is bright purple,
and I'm swinging on this thing, and then,
I hear like these, like, scratching sounds, and I look back.
- And all my trolls have got spiders. - Fuck.
Just escaping their mouths, and their noses and ears.
- Crawling out? No! - And we're about to go into battle.
- That's some shit. - Motherfucking mushroom shake.
- Let me just process that real quick... - Right?
and, give you a psychoanalysis.
- You're fucked up. - Right?
I was sitting there, and as I started running,
all I could hear...
- What? - Is your voice.
Just being like, "Izzy,
you can't run away from these things all the time."
- And I just had you on loop in the back of my head. - Good, good.
Fixing things, from Bali.
- About time. - Saving me, I think.
- I'm gonna say I saved you. - Really?
- Not probably. - I'll run with that.
- I saved you. - Cheers.
- What's next? - Well.
There is a potential play
I might do.
- A play? - Yeah, new lead here.
A play! Finally!
Well, here's the thing. So.
There's this director, and...
he's really fucking weird, I can't figure him out.
- I don't know, he's this odd look in his eye. - I love a weird director.
I know, but, like, not a good weird.
Like, something, like, he's too weird.
And he's been working with this theater company for, like, 20 years.
And then all of a sudden, I'm just going to fucking fly in...
- and be the lead of their play? - Absolutely!
Yes! Yes, you are.
I have a feeling. You know what I'm like with my feelings,
and my feeling about this is that it's very, very, very good.
- Yeah, but if you met this director. - You always do this! Stop.
- Stop talking yourself out of this. - I think if you meet the director...
You're gonna be the lead of an amazing play.
You're gonna put yourself outside your comfort zone.
You're gonna shake things up. It's gonna be amazing.
- Yeah. - I hope so.
It is!
- All right, all right. - I'm really excited for you.
Well, speaking of shaking things up...
Yes?
I wasn't sure if you had already heard...
I got engaged.
- Are you fucking with me? - No!
- Was this when you were shrooming? - No!
- Jesus! - It was right at the end of the trip.
- My God! - Right?
I figured that Jeremy would've told you, but I...
- When did Jeremy...? Jeremy knows? - I just saw him earlier.
- Holy shit. No, he didn't. - Yeah. He didn't tell you.
Failed to mention it.
Maybe he was letting me tell you, which is really nice,
- because I also spoke to him about the... - Debatable.
engagement party.
- OK. - 'Cause I want you guys there.
Fuck, let's celebrate! We're gonna celebrate this!
- Absolutely. - Shit! It's not every day you get engaged.
- I know, right? - In Bali.
- Question. Do you think it's too big, though? - Whoa, look at that.
I think I'm just gonna get it reduced a little bit.
I think just like a little bit.
It's really beautiful, though.
He sourced an Australian diamond from the Kimberley region.
They normally just do like... pink diamonds predominantly,
but, you know, obviously, it's conflict free,
and it's like, it's like clean. I mean, like, there's no flaws in this.
I have seen, I have looked.
It's a perfect diamond, so...
Fuck, Jeremy!
- What do you mean? - What do you mean, "what do you mean"?
I just walked into a fucking hornet's nest.
How do you not tell me Isabella's engaged?
It's a delicate subject, man.
I just wanted to find the right time to tell you,
and I'm stoned...
That's all I got.
Little piece of information I'd like to know next time!
I hundred percent was going to tell you.
- I swear to God. - And then you committed me into going to her engagement party?!
I just figured if I was going to go, then you would go.
- You're going to the engagement party. - No, you have to go, man.
Dude! We just broke up six months ago.
Think about it, man. A lot of good can come from this.
A lot of good?!
Yeah, you can show that you're the bigger man.
You can show your strength, you know. You can get a little closure.
Like, it's good that she's moving on, you can move on.
I'm not going to her engagement party.
Please?
- You're out of your mind, dude. - You know I'm right, man.
- I don't think you're right at all. - You know I'm right.
No, I think you're high.
I got you a succulent.
Have you ever seen a blue succulent?
We're still out of fucking toilet paper, man.
Fuck.
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