_
Why are you trying to change people who don't want to be changed?
If you want change, you need power.
Anybody who wants power that bad shouldn't have it.
That would make you the perfect leader, wouldn't it?
You still don't have everything you need, Carcer.
We have no idea how many artefacts there are.
- There's just one more. - And it's you.
If this turns purple, you've got Octiron in your blood.
- What does that mean? - It's normal.
If he's not the third artefact, then who is?
You know, Lady Ramkin,
Skimmer often brags about how easy it was to throttle your mother.
Can you guarantee my safety, Captain?
Cruces is gone.
It's not Dr Cruces that I'm worried about.
Who is she?
Find us the worst version of Sam Vimes
and we'll make him murder Sybil Ramkin.
We've found him!
Go.
Hmm.
A wizard was choking on a poison pill.
I had to push my fingers down his throat to prevent regurgitation.
I love that word.
Regurgitation.
He wanted to live so badly he bit off my finger.
I wanted him to die so badly I let him.
Believe in anything that much, Vimes?
Hmm?
The Watch?
Yourself?
You stay in this city, you're a dead man.
Isn't that true of us both?
Oh, yes, I thought I recognised that.
The Watch Captain's badge is a precious relic in our Guild's culture.
Remember King Veltrick?
The founder of The Watch?
He was wearing that when an assassin cut his throat.
How appropriate that you'll be wearing it when your time comes, Captain.
So you just let him walk?
If Carrot's right,
Carcer's been to the future and he knows our every move.
We don't even know where he is or...
Or who or what's helping him.
So justice doesn't matter anymore?
Whoever that third artefact is,
Carcer is closer to finding them than we are.
We're in no shape to take in prisoners.
I did what I had to do.
There is always a choice
between what you have to do and what you should do.
You were gonna let that man walk out there to his death.
I can admit when I'm wrong.
And I can admit when I'm right.
If you don't hold Skimmer here, I will recapture him.
And by the time I'm done with him,
he won't be so much The Duke of Stab,
as he'll be the Prince of Pottery!
- And Textiles! - You said you'd given all that up.
Well, maybe I was wrong about that, too.
Because it worked far better than anything we've tried in here.
You step one foot outside that door,
I will come to your mansion and I will arrest you.
For what?
Doing what you should have done?
For taking the law into your own hands.
Whatever law there is,
it belongs to a far stronger set of hands than yours, Sam.
Sybil...
Sybil?
One foot outside that door... Eh?
This is gonna hurt.
Cheery, Klatchian coffee now.
Somebody didn't sleep last night.
Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com
? You're frozen ?
? Hey! Hey... ?
I will...
Wanna do something... geeky?
Should we start a...
Well, what do you call it?
- Uh... - A role-playing game?
- I'm just gonna... - Oh.
I saw you upstairs at the bar.
All by yourself.
I thought maybe you'd like to come down here
and join my little support group...
For virgins.
What makes you think I'm a virgin?
I'm really sensitive.
You're bleeding.
Oh, yeah,
I just had a little blood test.
Sally make it... better.
What are you doing?
Why are you being so weird?
Is the blood poisoned?
Ugh, it's too salty?
Oh, please not sepsis.
No, there's nothing wrong with it. It's just ordinary.
Not... special or... noble.
Oh, honey. There's more to blood than nobility.
And I can tell you for a fact there's only one noble-blood left.
Lady Sybil Ramkin.
Sally, you...
You're a genius.
So show this genius the goods.
Dance!
I'm gonna go.
Shit.
He's too literal, Sally.
You're dead.
Then I must be dead.
Yes.
This time, I actually must be really dead.
Well, I'm not surprised. Today's the day.
And the punishment for my sins
is an eternity in a cell with you.
We've been cell mates for two years
and you always said we would have gone mad
if we didn't have each other.
- Two years? - Isn't that right, Mr Hand?
That's some hurtful shit, Vimes.
But...
What? How did I get here?
You're gonna die in here alone now.
Come on, there's no...
It's my plan, my way!
Where am I? What is this place?
It's Tanty! Tanty Prison!
Tanty?
That place is a wreck. It's been empty for years.
This place has never been empty.
Morning inspection.
Urdo.
Report.
Present and correct, Officer Ironfoundersson.
Carrot?
Kid, I've never been so glad to see you.
On the dots, Prisoner 177!
Kid, it's me, your captain.
You'll raise your hand if you want to speak!
Are those sandals?
You know he loves his sandals.
And don't make trouble for the screws today.
I don't know what's goin' on here,
but if you ever... hit me again like that,
I'll take those sandals and shove them right up your...
Enough!
Throw him to The Beast.
_
Beast'll rip him limb from limb.
The worst version of Sam Vimes.
Weak, spineless,
the most dangerous of all humanity.
Oh, he's waking.
Urdo?
Mr Hand?
Where's Lady Ramkin?
- She left. - Took Goodboy.
What happened to your jacket?
Nothing.
What happened to your... hands?
Yeah, I like your... Your hair like that.
It really suits you and your eyebrows, of course, they are nice
with, sort of... Mm, er...
Look, I think Lady Ramkin might be the third artefact.
Wonse told me The Grimoire Sorcerer
put Octiron in the blood of the last king.
Lady Ramkin's the only noble-blood left in the city.
What makes you so sure about that?
Sally.
- Sally? - Sally.
Who the hell's Sally?
Well... She knows a lot about blood.
She's a stinking vampire.
What? You...
Your nostrils have gone all flarey.
Werewolves. Vampires.
I just want him to be safe.
What's wrong with that?
Nothing.
Come on. Let's find Lady Ramkin.
Why's the captain running away?
Oi!
I'm gonna beat ya,
eat ya,
and then excrete ya.
Sir, you have the soul of a poet.
Thank the Gods! Detritus!
So good to see ya.
So good.
You cut that out.
You always signpost your jab.
You killed my best friend.
I'm your best friend!
You landed on Pickety Warp.
Who's Snickety...
Pickety!
Eat ya...
I don't know what's happening,
but I'm not the Sam you think I am!
Hmm...
How come your arm grew back?
You think I lost my arm?
Nah.
But you thought that I thought that you did.
Let's find out who you really are.
Hey.
Hey, where you going in a rush?
Is this the past?
Just a different present.
You look... You look so young.
You know me?
Carcer Dun. You're my friend.
You're not what I expected either, friend.
That's why I busted you out of that prison.
Yeah. Brought you into this world.
Go on. Breathe its air. Go on.
Better than a prison cell, though, right?
Well... yeah.
Well, if you want to keep breathing in this fresh air...
Yeah.
Then you have to do everything that I say.
Otherwise you're gonna go back to that other place
the moment you fall asleep.
Captain?
That's the...
That's the worst screw in Tanty.
Oh, well, here he works for you.
I know. For some reason, he, er, he loves you.
And respects you.
No, seriously.
And he'll do anything that you tell him.
Go on. Put it on. Try it.
Try telling him, "Stay there, Constable."
Stay there, Constable.
Yeah, yeah, but a bit more like a pirate. Argh.
Argh. Argh.
Yeah, don't forget the eye. So,
"Stay there, Constable"
Stay there, Constable.
- He's staying. - He's staying.
- Feels good, right? - Yeah.
- Yeah, feels powerful. - Mm.
- Wanna keep feeling powerful? - Yes.
Then do everything that I tell you.
But first, we got to get rid of them.
- Okay. - Hmm.
Ah, oh! Er, they're... they're looking for somebody.
Lady Ramkin?
They said she's an artefact?
They did, did they?
Interesting.
All right. Thanks.
Lead them to Tanty Prison, all right?
- Er... - Yup.
Go...
- Stay there! - You got it.
- Argh. - Off you go.
Captain.
We need to find Lady Ramkin immediately.
Yes.
Oh, she's waiting for us.
- Er, she is? - Yes.
Why, sir?
She said something about an artefact.
- So then I was right? - Yes!
You're a good... Carrot.
Ha! I'm your captain.
Sir.
So, er, you go get the others
and then we'll go to her.
Huh?
Why did you run off like that, sir?
I needed a... Argh!
I needed a breath of fresh air.
In Ankh-Morpork?
Mm.
Fresh air.
Right.
This is Great-Great-Great-Grandmother.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
These are the oldest rocks in Tanty's foundations.
Should you, er, be touching Grandma like that?
Hmm...
You're communing.
Not your world. Not my Vimes.
You been swapped.
Did, did, did Grandma tell you that?
Stone speaks stone.
Even across splintered worlds like yours and mine.
Splintered by what?
Decisions, mostly.
Swapped by who?
Eh...
Are... Are you telling me
that the Vimes from this world
is back in the world that I come from?
Maybe. What's Tanty like over there?
Oh, I don't know. I'm not in Tanty. I'm the Captain of The Watch.
Captain of The Watch! Ha!
That is one messed-up world.
Did you hear that, Grandma?
Captain of The Watch.
She's laughing.
You can't hear it, but she's laughing.
Want to hear something really funny?
Your great-great-grandson is my sergeant. Ha-ha!
So, my Vimes is in your world, and he is your Detritus' boss?
What, Grandma?
Help me to get back.
Hmm...
Now, clearly, magic has something to do
with me being here.
Are there any wizards in Tanty?
Help me to break out of here and get to Unseen University.
Can we do that?
Your Detritus... he's dead?
Grandma told me.
What happened?
Hey.
You...
He... died doing his job.
No!
Second time he saved my life.
Sarge!
He was the best friend I ever had.
You're my best friend now, Sam Vimes.
I think I know a way I can save you one more time.
Come with me.
He's leading them straight into the trap.
We'll meet Vimes there and take him onto the Ramkin mansion.
There's something else?
This Vimes is a bit pathetic, which is a surprise,
and it turns out the Ironfoundersson kid isn't the third artefact.
They think it might be Lady Ramkin.
I built this to track Ironfoundersson after he got away from us.
We can test it on her.
Here we go again.
The under-developed magical artefact gets pulled...
...I only went along with all this
because you said I'd get something interesting to do.
Why'd it go silent like that?
It detects the silence that existed before anything else.
Octiron sings with that same silence.
It was forged by elemental magic long before there were worlds
or men and women to walk upon them.
Well...
We don't need to know if Ramkin is the third artefact.
We just need Vimes to kill her.
Then we're free.
And if he doesn't?
This was your idea.
I survived all these years because I never assumed
the roof over my head today would still be there tomorrow.
I've seen the ones who took you out of time.
What they can do.
We need every lever we can get.
Guard them.
_
They're using us, Goblin.
I am only here for the exposition,
while you are nothing more than a pointless allegory.
_
Hey.
He's acting really weird.
Does he look like he can tell where he is
through the sole of his boots?
Ever since he met Lady Ramkin he's been wearing Demon Rum aftershave.
All that matters is getting to her...
He isn't wearing it now.
...before Carcer...
Hello, Carrot, you listening?
Just following orders.
When were your orders to stop thinking, Carrot?
Where are we?
I've read about this place.
Tanty.
The city's first and oldest prison.
It was built by King Veltrick to house the arrests
he thought the Watch would make.
Now it's empty.
So why would Lady Ramkin be meeting us in an empty prison?
Coo-ee. This way.
There's your way out.
I'm not leaving you.
Don't worry. We meet again, Captain.
Stone speaks stone.
Hmm...
Go on then.
Argh, argh!
Argh.
What's through there, Captain?
You.
That's for putting me in The Hut so many times.
Hut? What Hut, Captain? What are you talking about?
Carcer...
I knew something wasn't right.
Come on, Sam. She's waiting.
Captain?
Captain!
Hello.
Cell inspection. Inspect...
Move it along!
Prison Regulation C stroke 21 A
states that you will maintain access of five yards at all times!
Nothing ever changes.
Hey.
How did you get away from The Beast?
You said... today's the day?
Get lost.
The day for what?
You know what.
You got an escape plan?
I haven't. I have.
All right, then, I'm in.
Say please.
Please.
All right, slag. You're in.
Er, I got a bit of a knock on the head from The Beast.
Perhaps you could remind me of the plan.
My associate will explain.
Thank you.
That door...
is the only way out of here
and it can only get opened by the Warden.
Hmm.
Lots of doors behind that one.
Warden's hand opens all of them.
So...
We're gonna cut it off.
Is that absolutely necessary?
The windows are all barred.
The only way out's the way we came in.
Excuse me...
but could you tell me which one of you
is most likely to eat the other one first?
Just trying to organise my schedule.
Don't worry, I know this guy.
Can you help us get out of here?
Oh, sorry. Can't really intervene.
Oh, you must have some sort of special powers or skills?
Well, I do have a little somethin'-somethin'.
I've started writing songs, you see.
It's nothing. They're just silly little things, really.
Not that any of you would care. Nobody ever cares.
- We would love to hear your song. - Huh?
Sweet sensation.
This one's called, uh, Last Breath.
Yeah, yeah.
Check it.
Check it. One, two, break it down now. Uh...
? This is your last breath ?
? Hello ?
? I'm Death... ?
Move it along!
It has to happen today.
My boys are on the outside waiting for us.
Yeah, but cutting off a hand...
All stand for the Warden!
Good morning, class.
Good morning, Warden.
As you all know,
our founder King Veltrick bled for a better world.
The blood and the badge.
- The blood and the badge. - The blood...
In the name of his sacrifice,
this prison is not actually a prison.
No, it's a place of learning.
A painful process.
One that requires...
extreme measures.
And so, today, Group B will go in The Hut.
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!
Prisoner 177!
You're meant to be in the Hole.
Well, if the Hole didn't teach him a lesson, the Hut certainly will.
What's in the Hut?
Everything we need to escape.
Him, too.
? This is your last breath ?
? And the people say ?
? Hello ?
- That's right. Uh. - I'm death.
? I'm Death ?
Yeah.
You feel me right? Call and response. Easy to remember.
All the hallmarks of a stadium banger.
Does it really have to be 37 minutes long?
I can play you the club edit.
Actually, tell me about your instrument?
I've never seen one
- that looks like that. - Oh.
This? I, uh, fashioned this from what I could find.
This is an old hourglass that was just sort of lying around.
Anyway.
I know that my appearance doesn't exactly scream "rock star," but...
Bedsprings. I need bedsprings.
...people lie in bed at night and all they can think of is me.
So, not only would I be bringing sweet licks to this band...
What have you got in mind, Cheery?
...but I would also be bringing an audience. Uh...
Ah, shit.
I've inspired them.
You do what I say, you never have to go back.
But you have to earn your place here.
You have to kill someone.
I've never killed anybody.
Course you haven't.
How long you been in Tanty?
Twenty years.
You know, in and out.
It's time to man up.
This is how you get out.
Killing's wrong.
Don't think about it as right or wrong, good or bad.
There's no such thing.
There's just survival.
And this is what you have to do to survive.
Okay.
Who do you want me to kill?
That's the Prison Warden.
Whatever she did to you in your world,
take it out on her in this one.
But she hasn't done anything to me in this one, has she?
You wanna go back?
Sam Vimes. Arrest me?
I'd like to see him try.
Come on, axe.
We're better off without him, Goodboy.
Let's go.
How many more do we need?
That'll do for now.
When I was a kid, a mine tunnel collapsed.
Ten of us trapped, lamps all shattered, tools broken.
For a minute, all we could do was cry and scream and shout.
And then I realised... we still had the lamps.
We still had the tools.
Just needed to figure out a new way of using them.
So, we rigged a crank to move the rubble.
You're gonna break through the wall with...
Whatever we can find.
There.
Thank you.
For what?
Well, this is the second time you've saved me.
When was the first?
You, er...
You pulled me up from the edge of the roof of the Unseen University.
What?
And then you arrested me.
Arrested you for what?
We were in a gang.
And I sent you into The Watch House
to free our friends and kill Captain Keel...
but you didn't.
So you killed him?
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
I... I had a crossbow on you.
I was angry at you for betraying me...
- We can solve this! - ...but I couldn't.
I couldn't go through with it.
I could never go through with anything like that.
No!
But later, when you locked me away,
he made you sergeant.
And then you succeeded him as captain.
Captain of The Watch.
You were a good captain.
Kind.
You wanna be free?
You made a promise.
Then you have to go through with this.
Keep it.
Now.
What you waiting for?
Lady Ramkin isn't the third artefact.
There's no Octiron in her blood.
What does it matter?
Sam kills her, he's finished.
The Watch is finished. We're done.
It reacted to Vimes.
You can't really think he's got royal blood.
What if there's something else about him that triggers the meter?
They said there's nowhere in the multiverse
where Sam Vimes murders Sybil Ramkin.
Maybe because deep down he truly is noble.
Even in this version.
You mean "good"?
Like I told him, there's no such thing.
- You don't know that... - There's no such thing.
How could there be?
That would mean everything that I did, all of it...
It would make me bad.
Wouldn't it?
Wouldn't it, Wonse?
Come.
I'll show you.
- Intensive Arts and Crafts. - Ow!
But the screws let us use the scissors.
They're all blunt,
but we've been sharpening up these ones for over a month.
Right under their noses.
Just have to swap them out for these papier-mache ones.
Eyes down! Tools down!
We have a visitor.
And who do we have here?
Prisoner 177, sir.
Hello, Sam.
Carcer...
Captain Dun of the City Watch.
It's okay.
And what are we making here?
Well, all prisoners show Captain Dun your work!
Oh. Very nice.
Sam?
Oh, it's, um... It's just dogs. Dogs.
Well, go on. Show us.
Okay.
Yes, yes. Doggies.
I just need practice. Just a bit of practice. Yeah.
- Keep at it, Sam. - Mm.
Yeah?
Keep at it.
Great work, everyone. Thank you.
Thank you.
I need to get out of here.
It's done.
Well, that was clearly built by Goblins.
Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Whoo!
You got a scent on the captain?
This way.
You never liked him anyway.
Well, that's not what you said last time.
I suppose he did have nice eyes.
And it was...
good not to be alone.
So, have you come to arrest me?
I have to stab you.
Quiet, Goodboy.
Let the man euphemise if he wants.
He's just a little jealous.
Sorry, "Jealous"?
Of you and me.
I know we've had our differences,
but I'm glad you're here.
I've missed you, too.
No, I... I really came here to...
...stab you.
You're not Vimes.
Skimmer.
I was just coming to find you.
Delighted to have saved you the trouble, Lady Ramkin.
- Who's this? - Who are you?
- Captain? - He's not the Captain,
and you're going straight to my basement, Skimmer.
Actually, I've come to take your corpse with me, Lady Ramkin.
It'll be my ticket back into the Assassin's Guild.
I have to be the one who kills her.
Really?
Well, I don't mind who does it just as long as I get her body.
Thanks, stranger.
Pleasure. Weirdo.
There's two of us, Lady Ramkin.
I only hope that you choose your one shot
more wisely than your late father chose his friends.
Oh, you didn't know? Oh.
Your parents' inhumation
was ordered by several of their closest friends.
- Mm. - What?
Maybe it was jealousy
or perhaps deep down they never really liked them.
You were supposed to attack while I distracted her!
You didn't say that!
Well, I wasn't gonna say it in front of her, was I?
Take my axe.
Ready?
Here she comes!
I'm not going back there!
Back where?
That badge doesn't belong to you.
Put your hand through that reader.
I don't want to hurt you.
If I did that, it would encourage every prisoner in here
to think that violence is the answer to their problems.
Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?
- Forgive me. - For what?
I have to do this.
I won't back down.
You won't?
Not ever?
I am sorry.
There's always a choice...
...between what you have to do...
...and what you should do.
I want that hand!
Finish her! Finish...
Vimes?
Sam...
- Vimes? - Sybil?
- Is that really you? - Is it really you?
What was the last thing we said...
- It is you. - Is you. You should stop...
I should probably stop... I should stop talking.
- Yeah, I will... Shut. - Yes, you should. Stop talking.
Hmm?
Skimmer!
- Did you see her, Captain? - Who?
The woman who took your badge.
- "The blood and the badge"? - That's what she said.
What was she like? This... other me?
What was he like?
Captain? We're arresting you
for aiding and abetting a fugitive.
- Come out and surrender, you imposter. - It's all right. He's mine.
I mean, ours. He's ours. He's our captain.
Demon Rum aftershave.
Lady Ramkin, we think your bloodline might...
Wonse took my badge.
King Veltrick was wearing it when the Assassins cut his throat.
His blood contains Octiron.
His blood is on the badge.
Then Carcer has everything he needs.
Shit.
Iron in the Sword.
Iron in the Bearer.
Iron in the Crown.
Iron in its wearer.
They shine and shimmer in Noon's First Ray.
Command the dragon and burn the day.
CREDITS
Check one, check two. Bring the jam now.
? This is your last breath ?
? Hello, I'm Death ?
Let's get it.
? Say hello ?
Yeah, here we go.
? I'm Death ?