1
00:00:01,276 --> 00:00:03,139
Yeah. Hey, Mikaela.

2
00:00:03,164 --> 00:00:04,545
Sorry. No, I'm here.

3
00:00:04,570 --> 00:00:07,757
I'm just having a bit
of a rough start to the day.

4
00:00:07,782 --> 00:00:09,484
Yeah, no, my cat threw up in the bathtub

5
00:00:09,517 --> 00:00:10,588
while I was in it.

6
00:00:10,613 --> 00:00:12,448
Hold on.

7
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,116
Come on.

8
00:00:14,149 --> 00:00:15,485
What?

9
00:00:15,518 --> 00:00:17,453
Okay, I'm coming!

10
00:00:17,486 --> 00:00:18,754
I'm coming!

11
00:00:30,699 --> 00:00:32,642
It's food truck day.

12
00:00:33,836 --> 00:00:36,704
It's food truck day!

13
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:43,200
CREDITS

14
00:00:46,748 --> 00:00:48,784
There's so much old junk
in these drawers.

15
00:00:48,843 --> 00:00:51,111
Look at this sad photo
of city council from the '50s.

16
00:00:51,136 --> 00:00:53,806
Wow. No one looks like us.

17
00:00:53,839 --> 00:00:54,760
Oh, I don't know.

18
00:00:54,866 --> 00:00:56,400
That guy second from the left
kinda looks like you,

19
00:00:56,441 --> 00:00:57,810
but he doesn't have the leg meat

20
00:00:57,835 --> 00:00:59,303
to almost pull off these pants.

21
00:01:00,745 --> 00:01:03,448
Thank you. They're H&M single-use.

22
00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:06,352
It's food truck day!

23
00:01:06,385 --> 00:01:08,320
What? What is he saying?

24
00:01:08,352 --> 00:01:10,455
Food... truck... day.

25
00:01:10,489 --> 00:01:11,889
It's the most best day of the month.

26
00:01:11,923 --> 00:01:14,826
Food trucks come from all over
and they park outside

27
00:01:14,859 --> 00:01:17,730
and there's gonna be banh mi
and poke bowls

28
00:01:17,763 --> 00:01:18,743
and, fingers crossed...

29
00:01:18,768 --> 00:01:20,573
Okay, I don't have time to address
how weird your fingers are.

30
00:01:20,635 --> 00:01:21,734
Empanada Acoso.

31
00:01:21,766 --> 00:01:23,701
They drive in
all the way from Riverside,

32
00:01:23,734 --> 00:01:26,371
and their empanadas are like
soft, spicy full diapers

33
00:01:26,405 --> 00:01:27,573
for your tongue.

34
00:01:27,605 --> 00:01:28,906
Oh, my God, could we actually get

35
00:01:28,939 --> 00:01:30,808
decent lunch food for once?

36
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:32,411
We'll go down right after training.

37
00:01:32,444 --> 00:01:33,478
After what?

38
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:34,680
Today's our mandatory

39
00:01:34,712 --> 00:01:36,514
"respect in the workplace"
training session.

40
00:01:36,548 --> 00:01:39,350
Oh, no!

41
00:01:39,383 --> 00:01:41,819
Oh, those things take forever!

42
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,422
Oh, and then you can't leave
until you pass a test,

43
00:01:44,456 --> 00:01:46,358
and by then, all the
food trucks are out of food,

44
00:01:46,391 --> 00:01:48,027
so they're just trucks again!

45
00:01:48,060 --> 00:01:49,662
I mean, I love trucks, but...

46
00:01:49,695 --> 00:01:52,865
Oh, God, today is an emotional
Minions ride.

47
00:01:52,897 --> 00:01:55,600
- Dude, it'll be fast.
- Yeah, we're young. We get it.

48
00:01:55,633 --> 00:01:58,037
Yeah, we watch a video,
ask no questions,

49
00:01:58,070 --> 00:01:59,605
take a quiz, we're done.

50
00:01:59,638 --> 00:02:01,907
And then we empanada. Hard.

51
00:02:01,939 --> 00:02:03,841
Yeah.

52
00:02:06,010 --> 00:02:07,378
Oh, hey.

53
00:02:07,412 --> 00:02:08,681
- I can help you with that.
- Thank you.

54
00:02:08,713 --> 00:02:10,449
- If that's okay.
- Yes, of course.

55
00:02:10,481 --> 00:02:11,783
Women are strong too.

56
00:02:11,817 --> 00:02:13,786
Strong like bull.

57
00:02:13,818 --> 00:02:15,720
Cows. Women are cows, not...

58
00:02:15,753 --> 00:02:17,689
- It's fine. Thank you.
- Yeah.

59
00:02:18,723 --> 00:02:21,392
Arpi Meskimen, deputy mayor.

60
00:02:21,425 --> 00:02:22,827
Oh. Hi. I'm Susan.

61
00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:23,761
I'm the discussion leader.

62
00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:26,632
You know, Susan, I piloted this program

63
00:02:26,664 --> 00:02:30,068
back in the '80s when city hall
didn't even give women chairs.

64
00:02:30,102 --> 00:02:32,003
We were just offered laps to sit on.

65
00:02:32,037 --> 00:02:33,539
So you're welcome, Mikaela.

66
00:02:33,572 --> 00:02:35,606
I am welcome. I know.

67
00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:36,775
Yeah.

68
00:02:36,807 --> 00:02:38,543
I still carry the pepper spray I used

69
00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:40,579
to go safely back and forth
to the copier.

70
00:02:40,611 --> 00:02:42,380
Well, your program has been a great base

71
00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:44,449
for us to work off of.

72
00:02:49,521 --> 00:02:51,090
- Thank you so much for...
- No need to thank me.

73
00:02:51,122 --> 00:02:52,557
You're gonna do great.

74
00:02:52,591 --> 00:02:53,759
Trust the material.

75
00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:00,866
Empanada Acoso just pulled up.

76
00:03:00,899 --> 00:03:02,967
And by the way the truck
is riding on the shocks,

77
00:03:03,001 --> 00:03:04,069
I think they have pork.

78
00:03:04,102 --> 00:03:05,371
Great. Shh.

79
00:03:05,403 --> 00:03:07,105
So if we're all here, we can...

80
00:03:07,139 --> 00:03:08,439
Sorry, sorry, sorry.

81
00:03:08,473 --> 00:03:09,842
I was in the little boys' room,

82
00:03:09,874 --> 00:03:12,110
where it is okay to take out your penis.

83
00:03:12,144 --> 00:03:13,179
Hi. I'm the mayor.

84
00:03:13,211 --> 00:03:15,847
Hi. Susan Craw.
I didn't expect you to be here.

85
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:17,849
Usually the big shots
don't show up to these things.

86
00:03:17,883 --> 00:03:20,694
Yeah, sir, I was just gonna use
the autopen to sign you in.

87
00:03:20,719 --> 00:03:21,886
Are you kidding? No, no.

88
00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:24,622
This is important stuff, very important.

89
00:03:24,656 --> 00:03:27,892
I have a daughter, and I wanna
get this right for her sake.

90
00:03:27,925 --> 00:03:29,427
Right. Right. Yes.

91
00:03:29,461 --> 00:03:32,130
Okay, so I usually begin
by showing a video

92
00:03:32,163 --> 00:03:34,031
of a common workplace scenario.

93
00:03:34,064 --> 00:03:35,700
A video? Huh.

94
00:03:35,734 --> 00:03:38,670
So you don't use
my illustrations anymore?

95
00:03:38,703 --> 00:03:40,772
No, we do not. Okay.

96
00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:45,644
Oh, hi, Michelle. What's wrong?

97
00:03:45,676 --> 00:03:47,513
Someone hung a cartoon in the break room

98
00:03:47,545 --> 00:03:48,913
that upset me, Carlos.

99
00:03:48,947 --> 00:03:51,682
The one about Asians being good at math?

100
00:03:51,716 --> 00:03:53,485
Tell your supervisor.

101
00:03:53,517 --> 00:03:55,554
I don't wanna be a squeaky wheel.

102
00:03:55,586 --> 00:03:57,622
I feel harassed by the acting in these.

103
00:03:57,656 --> 00:03:59,591
What kind of business
is this supposed to be?

104
00:03:59,623 --> 00:04:02,627
The filing system makes zero sense.

105
00:04:02,661 --> 00:04:04,862
Hey, Barbara, did Gunther email you

106
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,732
his latest bodybuilding photos?

107
00:04:06,765 --> 00:04:09,635
Yes. Again.

108
00:04:09,668 --> 00:04:11,670
Those photos make me uncomfortable.

109
00:04:11,703 --> 00:04:14,139
I asked him not to send them
to me anymore.

110
00:04:14,172 --> 00:04:15,941
Aww. That's how my parents met.

111
00:04:15,973 --> 00:04:20,511
And I asked him
to stop giving me backrubs.

112
00:04:21,980 --> 00:04:23,048
Oh, no!

113
00:04:23,081 --> 00:04:24,404
I just got an email

114
00:04:24,429 --> 00:04:27,207
that Gunther is taking you off
the Suncoast account.

115
00:04:27,232 --> 00:04:29,889
That's my biggest account!

116
00:04:30,721 --> 00:04:32,757
Susan, Susan, could you
pause it for a second?

117
00:04:32,790 --> 00:04:34,826
I've already got so many questions.

118
00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:37,596
Okay, now, of course,
backrubs are inappropriate,

119
00:04:37,629 --> 00:04:40,199
but what about side hugs?

120
00:04:40,232 --> 00:04:41,533
Those are okay, right,

121
00:04:41,565 --> 00:04:43,501
because your privates are parallel.

122
00:04:43,535 --> 00:04:45,037
I'm sure you're a great hugger,

123
00:04:45,069 --> 00:04:47,706
but it's probably best
not to hug anyone.

124
00:04:47,738 --> 00:04:51,008
Could I ask to touch a white man's hair?

125
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,710
Just... just don't.

126
00:04:52,744 --> 00:04:54,980
'Cause what if he's gay?
Yeah. Shoot. Of course.

127
00:04:55,846 --> 00:04:58,716
My point being
there's always an exception

128
00:04:58,749 --> 00:05:00,084
if you think about it.

129
00:05:00,117 --> 00:05:01,819
Shut up, shut up, shut up.

130
00:05:01,853 --> 00:05:03,489
Shut up.

131
00:05:03,521 --> 00:05:05,690
Yes, I guess that would be an exception,

132
00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:08,026
but I don't think
anyone is going to ask you

133
00:05:08,059 --> 00:05:09,695
to "help them breastfeed."

134
00:05:09,728 --> 00:05:12,564
So does anybody else have any questions?

135
00:05:12,596 --> 00:05:14,198
Oh, sorry, I do. Yeah.

136
00:05:14,232 --> 00:05:15,601
I have a list of words

137
00:05:15,634 --> 00:05:19,237
that I wanna see
if I can still say them.

138
00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:20,605
"Jazz"

139
00:05:20,639 --> 00:05:22,740
and also "jazzy."

140
00:05:22,774 --> 00:05:25,276
It's 12:00 p.m.!
Can we take the test already?

141
00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:26,577
- Yes, Jayden.
- Yeah, I agree.

142
00:05:26,610 --> 00:05:27,646
- Great idea.
- I agree with Jayden.

143
00:05:27,678 --> 00:05:29,714
Yes, we've probably discussed
enough already,

144
00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:31,115
so I'm just gonna go ahead
and pass these out.

145
00:05:36,221 --> 00:05:38,189
Oh, boy, this is awkward.

146
00:05:38,223 --> 00:05:39,624
What is?

147
00:05:39,658 --> 00:05:42,227
The lady running the harassment seminar

148
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,261
is into me.

149
00:05:43,295 --> 00:05:44,862
You think that young...

150
00:05:44,896 --> 00:05:46,598
I'm just as shocked as you are,

151
00:05:46,631 --> 00:05:48,600
but I'm telling you, there's a vibe.

152
00:05:48,632 --> 00:05:51,802
Hey, no chatting, Mr. Side Hugs.

153
00:05:51,836 --> 00:05:54,072
Am I allowed to flirt back?

154
00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:55,706
I mean, I wanna be respectful,

155
00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:58,276
but I'm also a human being
looking for connection,

156
00:05:58,310 --> 00:06:00,011
but I don't wanna get sued.

157
00:06:00,045 --> 00:06:03,649
But 20 years ago, I would've
really sealed this deal.

158
00:06:05,283 --> 00:06:07,653
- Boy, this is a...
- Don't say it.

159
00:06:07,685 --> 00:06:10,656
Scary time for men.

160
00:06:13,324 --> 00:06:15,026
Okay, everyone, take one more minute

161
00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:16,894
to finish adding up your scores.

162
00:06:16,927 --> 00:06:18,863
Hey, Susan.

163
00:06:18,896 --> 00:06:20,031
I got 100.

164
00:06:20,064 --> 00:06:22,067
And I feel like the credit goes to you.

165
00:06:24,336 --> 00:06:26,638
Oh, a zero?

166
00:06:26,670 --> 00:06:29,608
Dang. No empanadas for you.

167
00:06:29,641 --> 00:06:32,010
Okay, everyone. Thank you so much.

168
00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:34,947
Now, if you scored below a 50...

169
00:06:36,714 --> 00:06:38,649
You are free to go. Great job.

170
00:06:38,682 --> 00:06:39,784
Wait, what?

171
00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,786
Oh, it's like golf scoring.

172
00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:43,921
Now, that makes much more sense.

173
00:06:43,954 --> 00:06:46,791
No, not possible. I don't fail tests.

174
00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:48,659
I've lived all these examples.

175
00:06:48,692 --> 00:06:49,995
I could've written this test.

176
00:06:50,028 --> 00:06:51,663
I did write this test!

177
00:06:51,696 --> 00:06:53,131
And damn it, Susan,

178
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:56,668
I hate to be the one to say this, but...

179
00:06:56,701 --> 00:06:58,236
I'd like to speak to your manager.

180
00:06:58,269 --> 00:06:59,304
- No, Arpi!
- No, no.

181
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:00,337
- Karen, no.
- No, Arpi.

182
00:07:00,372 --> 00:07:02,268
My God, you have the haircut
and everything.

183
00:07:02,986 --> 00:07:04,644
I've never failed a test in my life.

184
00:07:04,669 --> 00:07:08,030
I got a 10 on the Apgar,
a 2390 on my SATs,

185
00:07:08,085 --> 00:07:09,720
and a BuzzFeed quiz
I took earlier said I'm,

186
00:07:09,785 --> 00:07:12,205
oh, I don't know, Rachel from "Friends."

187
00:07:13,463 --> 00:07:15,165
Where are you going?

188
00:07:15,199 --> 00:07:16,901
To get my food. I passed.

189
00:07:16,934 --> 00:07:18,737
Should we just break for lunch now?

190
00:07:18,762 --> 00:07:19,985
And then we can all come back.

191
00:07:20,010 --> 00:07:21,212
No, no, no, no, no.

192
00:07:21,237 --> 00:07:23,094
We're gonna stay here
until we get this right,

193
00:07:23,119 --> 00:07:25,477
out of respect for Susan,

194
00:07:25,554 --> 00:07:27,869
who is being so incredible to us.

195
00:07:27,911 --> 00:07:28,812
Ugh.

196
00:07:28,838 --> 00:07:31,508
Give me a cardboard box full of breaks.

197
00:07:31,562 --> 00:07:33,075
Wait. Wait. Jayden?

198
00:07:33,117 --> 00:07:35,219
Can you get me a poke bowl with
brown rice and extra sesame...

199
00:07:35,252 --> 00:07:36,554
I want a taco trio from The Lime Truck:

200
00:07:36,588 --> 00:07:38,123
one pulled chicken, zesty guac;

201
00:07:38,163 --> 00:07:39,282
two pork, no guac; and an horchata.

202
00:07:39,315 --> 00:07:41,684
Pizza and a cappuccino,
please and thank you, Jayden.

203
00:07:41,718 --> 00:07:42,987
Got it.

204
00:07:45,295 --> 00:07:46,296
Okay.

205
00:07:46,331 --> 00:07:48,700
So we are going to review
the scenarios as a group

206
00:07:48,732 --> 00:07:50,268
so that you can see
where you went wrong.

207
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:52,002
Yeah, well, I don't think
I got any wrong,

208
00:07:52,035 --> 00:07:53,004
so I can't wait.

209
00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:54,573
All right.

210
00:07:54,605 --> 00:07:58,709
? Happy birthday to you ?

211
00:08:00,645 --> 00:08:01,580
Yay.

212
00:08:01,612 --> 00:08:04,715
So how old are you, Barbara?

213
00:08:04,749 --> 00:08:06,718
- Rude!
- Ow!

214
00:08:06,751 --> 00:08:08,253
That hurt my arm.

215
00:08:10,687 --> 00:08:13,290
All right, so who, if anyone, here

216
00:08:13,324 --> 00:08:15,126
should be reported to Human Resources?

217
00:08:15,158 --> 00:08:17,062
The guy who asked his coworker's age.

218
00:08:17,095 --> 00:08:18,997
The horrible woman who hit the man.

219
00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:20,297
Um, everyone?

220
00:08:20,331 --> 00:08:22,600
Forced celebrations produce anxiety,

221
00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:25,136
the concept of birthdays
is systemically pro-life,

222
00:08:25,169 --> 00:08:26,972
and singing discriminates against...

223
00:08:27,004 --> 00:08:29,006
? People like me ?

224
00:08:29,039 --> 00:08:31,610
? Who can't sing ?

225
00:08:31,643 --> 00:08:33,711
And frankly, Barbara's agreeing
to all of this

226
00:08:33,744 --> 00:08:34,779
makes her complicit.

227
00:08:34,812 --> 00:08:38,316
Yeah, I thought they were
having a nice time.

228
00:08:38,349 --> 00:08:39,184
Okay.

229
00:08:39,216 --> 00:08:40,951
So the correct answer is,

230
00:08:40,985 --> 00:08:42,787
no one should be reported to HR.

231
00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:45,023
It may be bad manners
to ask Barbara's age,

232
00:08:45,056 --> 00:08:46,891
but Carlos should only be reported

233
00:08:46,923 --> 00:08:48,058
if he denies Barbara

234
00:08:48,091 --> 00:08:49,994
a work opportunity based on her age.

235
00:08:50,028 --> 00:08:51,629
So I was the closest on that one.

236
00:08:51,662 --> 00:08:52,864
Thank you, Susan.

237
00:08:54,999 --> 00:08:56,634
Hey, hey.

238
00:08:56,667 --> 00:08:58,836
Before we hop back
into the next scenario,

239
00:08:58,869 --> 00:09:00,772
another question?

240
00:09:00,805 --> 00:09:02,273
What if you sense a vibe?

241
00:09:02,306 --> 00:09:04,643
- What do you mean?
- Well, you know,

242
00:09:04,676 --> 00:09:06,344
what if you sense someone's
attracted to you?

243
00:09:06,377 --> 00:09:08,013
Never assume there's a vibe.

244
00:09:08,046 --> 00:09:09,180
Oh, come on. We're all adults.

245
00:09:09,212 --> 00:09:10,848
You can tell when somebody's into you.

246
00:09:10,882 --> 00:09:12,083
They smile at you.

247
00:09:12,115 --> 00:09:13,784
Smiles don't mean jack.

248
00:09:13,817 --> 00:09:15,787
I mean, women also smile

249
00:09:15,820 --> 00:09:18,657
in social situations
that make them uncomfortable.

250
00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:22,260
Susan knows there are
five distinct female smiles.

251
00:09:22,292 --> 00:09:25,797
Smile one: teeth showing,
slightly open mouth.

252
00:09:25,830 --> 00:09:27,666
"I'm attracted to you."

253
00:09:27,698 --> 00:09:30,801
Smile two: relaxed
but closed mouth, eye contact.

254
00:09:30,835 --> 00:09:33,271
"I prefer to be friends."
Okay, I've done that one.

255
00:09:33,303 --> 00:09:35,206
Smile three: tucked-in lips.

256
00:09:35,239 --> 00:09:37,408
"Mm. I am politely repulsed."

257
00:09:37,441 --> 00:09:39,943
Yup, Simon Cowell at baggage claim.

258
00:09:39,976 --> 00:09:43,247
Now, the last two variations
factor in race and class.

259
00:09:43,281 --> 00:09:45,684
Smile four is for men of my same race

260
00:09:45,716 --> 00:09:47,751
but lower socioeconomic standing.

261
00:09:47,784 --> 00:09:50,054
It says, "Hey, fellow Caucasian.

262
00:09:50,087 --> 00:09:51,355
"I'm not a B-word, but I already got

263
00:09:51,388 --> 00:09:52,923
an old man at home, you dig?"

264
00:09:52,956 --> 00:09:54,091
All right, Arpi.
Thank you so much for that.

265
00:09:54,124 --> 00:09:55,326
However, say I'm winked at

266
00:09:55,359 --> 00:09:57,729
by the Eritrean American
fishmonger at Ralph's.

267
00:09:57,762 --> 00:10:00,131
Tight lips, eye contact,
slight bow says,

268
00:10:00,163 --> 00:10:01,398
"I respect your culture and position,

269
00:10:01,432 --> 00:10:03,868
but I'm not interested
in your sexual advances."

270
00:10:03,901 --> 00:10:04,669
Honestly, I'm surprised

271
00:10:04,701 --> 00:10:06,236
this stuff isn't in the literature.

272
00:10:06,269 --> 00:10:07,838
Yes. Me too.

273
00:10:07,871 --> 00:10:11,809
So to answer your actual question, sir,

274
00:10:11,842 --> 00:10:14,812
you may ask a coworker out
on a date one time.

275
00:10:14,845 --> 00:10:17,981
If you receive anything less
than an enthusiastic yes,

276
00:10:18,014 --> 00:10:19,283
then you may not ask again.

277
00:10:19,316 --> 00:10:21,385
Jeez. What if you biff it?

278
00:10:21,418 --> 00:10:25,255
Oh, I have faith in you, Neil.

279
00:10:25,288 --> 00:10:27,859
First name. Big-time vibe.

280
00:10:27,892 --> 00:10:28,927
Okay, next scenario.

281
00:10:31,294 --> 00:10:32,796
Ladies first.

282
00:10:32,830 --> 00:10:34,865
Oh, okay.

283
00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:39,002
Finally. We're alone.

284
00:10:39,036 --> 00:10:41,272
I consent. Let's do this.

285
00:10:47,445 --> 00:10:49,480
All right, so which employees, if any,

286
00:10:49,513 --> 00:10:51,316
are violating city policy?

287
00:10:51,349 --> 00:10:53,884
See, I couldn't get this one.
Is there tongue?

288
00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:55,153
I don't know. It doesn't matter.

289
00:10:55,186 --> 00:10:56,421
This doesn't track.

290
00:10:56,454 --> 00:10:58,189
Carlos and Michelle
were so mad at each other

291
00:10:58,221 --> 00:10:59,356
at Barbara's birthday lunch.

292
00:10:59,389 --> 00:11:01,458
What? No. These don't tell a story.

293
00:11:01,491 --> 00:11:03,393
I didn't like it when Gunther
opened the door for Barbara.

294
00:11:03,427 --> 00:11:04,995
It was patronizing.

295
00:11:05,028 --> 00:11:06,196
Sure, but you can't call HR

296
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,932
every time someone holds a door for you.

297
00:11:07,965 --> 00:11:09,334
I can if it makes me uncomfortable.

298
00:11:09,366 --> 00:11:11,168
Wait, that guy was Gunther?

299
00:11:11,201 --> 00:11:12,336
Okay, there's gonna be a twist.

300
00:11:12,369 --> 00:11:13,772
No. This is not a movie.

301
00:11:13,805 --> 00:11:15,273
- There's no narrative.
- Are you sure?

302
00:11:15,306 --> 00:11:17,008
Gunther demotes Barbara on her birthday,

303
00:11:17,041 --> 00:11:18,309
then holds the door for her?

304
00:11:18,341 --> 00:11:20,278
- Villain.
- These are different days.

305
00:11:20,311 --> 00:11:21,479
Then why are they in the same clothes?

306
00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:23,214
And who got the Suncoast account?

307
00:11:23,246 --> 00:11:25,783
You're supposed to focus
on the two that were kissing.

308
00:11:25,816 --> 00:11:27,786
Yeah, was there an intimacy
coordinator on that set?

309
00:11:27,818 --> 00:11:28,786
Because until that's confirmed,

310
00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:30,455
I don't think I should even be
watching this.

311
00:11:30,488 --> 00:11:32,791
All right, all right, so the answer is,

312
00:11:32,823 --> 00:11:35,159
even consensual relationships
should be reported.

313
00:11:35,192 --> 00:11:36,461
Really?

314
00:11:36,494 --> 00:11:37,928
But what if the secret
is part of the thrill?

315
00:11:37,961 --> 00:11:40,965
Susan! I wrote that question in 1989.

316
00:11:40,998 --> 00:11:43,401
The correct answer is, the kiss is fine

317
00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:45,068
because Carlos and Michelle are equals.

318
00:11:45,101 --> 00:11:46,336
It's consensual.

319
00:11:46,369 --> 00:11:48,005
And they're not bumming
everyone else out

320
00:11:48,038 --> 00:11:49,039
by doing it in public.

321
00:11:49,072 --> 00:11:50,274
Actually, it's not fine,

322
00:11:50,307 --> 00:11:51,576
because their relationship would impact

323
00:11:51,609 --> 00:11:53,110
dynamics in the workplace.

324
00:11:53,143 --> 00:11:54,278
Did you just "actually" me?

325
00:11:54,312 --> 00:11:56,547
Did you "you're welcome" me
before we even started?

326
00:11:56,581 --> 00:11:57,882
What is that supposed to mean?

327
00:11:57,914 --> 00:11:59,349
"I started this program, Ms. Shaw.

328
00:11:59,383 --> 00:12:00,819
"I'm a trailblazer.

329
00:12:00,851 --> 00:12:02,586
High fives for white feminism."

330
00:12:02,619 --> 00:12:04,288
One, you're bad at voices.

331
00:12:04,321 --> 00:12:06,990
And two, I don't high-five
white feminism.

332
00:12:07,023 --> 00:12:09,527
Clearly you haven't read
my most recent op-ed

333
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,362
for the "Vallarta Noticias,"

334
00:12:11,394 --> 00:12:12,896
or you wouldn't be this worked up.

335
00:12:12,930 --> 00:12:15,366
Okay, Arpi, you are centering yourself,

336
00:12:15,398 --> 00:12:16,868
you are tone policing,

337
00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:19,904
and you're displaying
a white savior complex.

338
00:12:19,937 --> 00:12:22,273
My apologies. I will be quiet.

339
00:12:23,007 --> 00:12:25,143
- Let's move on.
- But I worked really hard!

340
00:12:25,176 --> 00:12:27,211
My boss used to put his fingers
in my mouth.

341
00:12:27,244 --> 00:12:30,347
He'd say, "Does this
Coffee mate taste old to you?"

342
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:32,283
I went to Hooters once with OJ Simpson.

343
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:33,917
I'm so hungry, that sounds good to me.

344
00:12:33,951 --> 00:12:34,985
And this isn't gonna go over well...

345
00:12:35,018 --> 00:12:37,221
- Then don't say it!
- They always still say it.

346
00:12:37,254 --> 00:12:39,356
You wouldn't have your job
if it weren't for gals like me.

347
00:12:39,389 --> 00:12:40,991
And I'm sorry

348
00:12:41,024 --> 00:12:43,293
if that kind of door opening
also offends you.

349
00:12:43,326 --> 00:12:45,263
Okay, boomer. Have infinity seats.

350
00:12:45,296 --> 00:12:46,431
What does that mean?

351
00:12:46,464 --> 00:12:48,299
Is that a crack
about all the lap-sitting

352
00:12:48,331 --> 00:12:50,067
my generation was forced to do?

353
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,635
She's saying she wants you
to retire and go home

354
00:12:51,668 --> 00:12:54,004
because you're the Pelosi
to her low-res AOC.

355
00:12:54,037 --> 00:12:56,441
You know what, Mr. Tomás?

356
00:12:56,474 --> 00:12:58,176
There's a special place in hell for gays

357
00:12:58,209 --> 00:13:00,143
that encourage women
not to support other women.

358
00:13:00,177 --> 00:13:01,479
I know.

359
00:13:01,512 --> 00:13:03,314
It's called Bravo,
and we're doing amazing on it.

360
00:13:03,346 --> 00:13:04,648
Susan, I'd like credit for knowing

361
00:13:04,682 --> 00:13:06,149
that I shouldn't talk right now.

362
00:13:06,182 --> 00:13:07,284
Good for you, yes.

363
00:13:07,317 --> 00:13:08,886
Oh, heavenly Father!

364
00:13:08,919 --> 00:13:10,487
- Everybody get back.
- What is he doing?

365
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,556
Oh, God, it's so much!

366
00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:13,590
Why does he have all those soups?

367
00:13:13,624 --> 00:13:16,159
- Excuse me. Please move.
- No one ordered soup!

368
00:13:16,192 --> 00:13:18,629
I did not get tops for these.

369
00:13:18,662 --> 00:13:20,965
- No!
- Oh, no! Come on!

370
00:13:20,998 --> 00:13:22,367
Oh, God, why?

371
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,336
Oh, God, no!

372
00:13:26,369 --> 00:13:28,639
The gelato bike is done for the day.

373
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:31,652
I'm just saying, Susan,

374
00:13:31,747 --> 00:13:34,616
at some point,
the left is eating itself...

375
00:13:34,694 --> 00:13:36,497
- Oh, my God, kill me.
- While the right gains power.

376
00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:38,565
Okay, Arpi, Arpi, Arpi.

377
00:13:38,598 --> 00:13:40,901
We know now that
microaggressions can add up

378
00:13:40,934 --> 00:13:43,036
and affect a person's performance

379
00:13:43,069 --> 00:13:44,372
and their mental health.

380
00:13:44,405 --> 00:13:45,540
- Wha...
- Okay,

381
00:13:45,573 --> 00:13:47,107
but just because someone calls you out

382
00:13:47,141 --> 00:13:48,642
doesn't mean you're a bad person.

383
00:13:48,675 --> 00:13:50,545
We all make mistakes.

384
00:13:50,578 --> 00:13:52,679
I'm sure that someone's ignorance

385
00:13:52,713 --> 00:13:54,781
has made you uncomfortable.

386
00:13:54,814 --> 00:13:57,084
Bad news, guys.

387
00:13:57,117 --> 00:13:58,386
I got mugged.

388
00:13:58,419 --> 00:13:59,821
They were ninjas, so I...

389
00:13:59,853 --> 00:14:01,054
- We saw you fall!
- Lie better!

390
00:14:01,088 --> 00:14:02,457
Fine.

391
00:14:02,489 --> 00:14:03,657
I dropped everything.

392
00:14:03,690 --> 00:14:04,891
Okay, but it's your fault.

393
00:14:04,925 --> 00:14:06,493
I knew what I wanted,

394
00:14:06,526 --> 00:14:08,429
but by the time I got to Empanada Acoso,

395
00:14:08,462 --> 00:14:10,564
they were out of everything

396
00:14:10,598 --> 00:14:13,534
except for lavender
and fennel popsicles.

397
00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:15,002
I hate them so much.

398
00:14:15,035 --> 00:14:17,804
Okay. Okay. I've got a microaggression.

399
00:14:17,838 --> 00:14:20,708
Yesterday Jayden waited for me
to walk up the stairs with him,

400
00:14:20,741 --> 00:14:22,543
and it made me feel like an old grandma

401
00:14:22,575 --> 00:14:23,877
in a Life Alert commercial.

402
00:14:23,910 --> 00:14:25,780
I was in a bad mood the rest of the day.

403
00:14:25,813 --> 00:14:27,615
So should we fire him?

404
00:14:27,647 --> 00:14:30,117
Or just have an angry mob
Tweet him to death?

405
00:14:30,151 --> 00:14:31,819
- Ahh!
- Sit down, Arpi.

406
00:14:31,852 --> 00:14:33,821
What? The only reason
I was waiting for you

407
00:14:33,853 --> 00:14:35,689
was so I didn't have to walk by myself!

408
00:14:35,723 --> 00:14:37,824
Because when I do, Tommy grabs my tummy

409
00:14:37,857 --> 00:14:39,827
and makes me pay a tummy tax.

410
00:14:39,859 --> 00:14:42,062
Tommy, that is not acceptable.

411
00:14:42,096 --> 00:14:45,133
Okay, but it's not sexual.
I'm just being mean.

412
00:14:45,165 --> 00:14:46,733
Well, it's oppressive.

413
00:14:46,766 --> 00:14:47,934
Honestly, I didn't like it

414
00:14:47,968 --> 00:14:49,636
when you touched my thigh this morning.

415
00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:50,872
I didn't like it either.

416
00:14:50,905 --> 00:14:53,006
It's not harassment
if both people hate it.

417
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,510
No. The rules apply to everyone.

418
00:14:55,543 --> 00:14:57,145
So I'm the Gunther? No. No, no, no.

419
00:14:57,178 --> 00:14:58,546
I failed this test

420
00:14:58,578 --> 00:15:00,448
because it doesn't reflect
my experience.

421
00:15:00,481 --> 00:15:02,550
I'm a gazelle taking a fish test.

422
00:15:02,583 --> 00:15:03,985
It doesn't reflect me either!

423
00:15:04,017 --> 00:15:06,119
I'm a nice boy who doesn't touch anyone.

424
00:15:06,152 --> 00:15:09,589
Yet every creepy guy in this
pamphlet looks exactly like me.

425
00:15:09,622 --> 00:15:11,124
I thought that was you.

426
00:15:11,157 --> 00:15:12,526
It's not fair.

427
00:15:12,559 --> 00:15:14,127
I don't harass anyone.

428
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,476
I'm just sweet little Jayden.

429
00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:17,732
No, don't do that.

430
00:15:17,765 --> 00:15:19,000
All right, if I'm not
allowed to be mean,

431
00:15:19,032 --> 00:15:20,734
he's not allowed to talk
like a British baby.

432
00:15:20,767 --> 00:15:22,737
It's how I make myself nonthreatening.

433
00:15:22,770 --> 00:15:24,204
- Oh, my God!
- Seriously, stop.

434
00:15:24,237 --> 00:15:25,705
Stop that!

435
00:15:25,738 --> 00:15:27,641
Batman did it. Batman.

436
00:15:27,675 --> 00:15:29,910
I swear to God I will fire you.

437
00:15:29,944 --> 00:15:31,045
Okay, okay. Jayden. Jayden.

438
00:15:31,078 --> 00:15:32,646
You don't even need to be here right now

439
00:15:32,679 --> 00:15:33,848
because you passed.

440
00:15:33,881 --> 00:15:35,616
And actually, all of you could learn

441
00:15:35,649 --> 00:15:36,751
a lot from Jayden.

442
00:15:36,784 --> 00:15:39,520
Actually, I cheated.

443
00:15:39,553 --> 00:15:40,955
You what?

444
00:15:40,987 --> 00:15:43,190
- I ch...
- No, talk in an adult voice.

445
00:15:43,223 --> 00:15:45,459
I cheated, okay?

446
00:15:45,492 --> 00:15:48,628
When I was helping you set up,
I memorized your answer key.

447
00:15:48,661 --> 00:15:50,497
First column is E, C, B, D, D, C,

448
00:15:50,530 --> 00:15:52,032
Every Creepy Boy Does Daddy's...

449
00:15:52,065 --> 00:15:54,634
You cheated on the test
so you could go get empanadas?

450
00:15:54,668 --> 00:15:56,471
What empanadas, Arpi?

451
00:15:56,503 --> 00:15:57,771
What empanadas?

452
00:15:57,804 --> 00:15:59,473
Okay. Okay. Enough. Enough.

453
00:15:59,506 --> 00:16:01,508
Look, take a deep breath, Jayden.

454
00:16:01,541 --> 00:16:03,743
All right, let's just face it.

455
00:16:03,776 --> 00:16:06,881
No one here knows
what the correct answers are.

456
00:16:06,914 --> 00:16:08,649
We just wanna do the right thing

457
00:16:08,681 --> 00:16:11,551
- because these new rules are important.
- Yes.

458
00:16:11,584 --> 00:16:14,088
And, Susan, I'm starting to understand

459
00:16:14,121 --> 00:16:15,756
what you want from me.

460
00:16:15,789 --> 00:16:17,992
So here in broad daylight

461
00:16:18,025 --> 00:16:21,028
in front of these various witnesses...

462
00:16:21,828 --> 00:16:25,199
I'm gonna ask you this one time.

463
00:16:25,232 --> 00:16:27,535
Susan, do you wanna have dinner

464
00:16:27,568 --> 00:16:30,203
on a clothing-optional yacht with me?

465
00:16:30,237 --> 00:16:31,639
Sir, ew.

466
00:16:32,772 --> 00:16:34,508
No. Thank you.

467
00:16:34,541 --> 00:16:35,742
But good job, I guess,

468
00:16:35,776 --> 00:16:38,112
because you did ask appropriately.

469
00:16:39,914 --> 00:16:41,582
Huh?

470
00:16:41,614 --> 00:16:43,083
I'm not going crazy.

471
00:16:43,117 --> 00:16:44,952
There was a vibe here.

472
00:16:44,984 --> 00:16:46,720
Now it's getting a little inappropriate.

473
00:16:46,753 --> 00:16:47,921
Respect the no, sir.

474
00:16:47,954 --> 00:16:50,790
Susan, take Sergeant Peps.

475
00:16:54,795 --> 00:16:56,097
Jiminy Cricket!

476
00:16:56,130 --> 00:16:58,633
It must have rusted apart
'cause I swim with it.

477
00:16:58,665 --> 00:17:00,668
Oh, you [bleep] Karen.

478
00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:01,835
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

479
00:17:01,869 --> 00:17:03,971
- That was the pain talking.
- No problem.

480
00:17:04,004 --> 00:17:05,606
Whoever this is,
please stop touching me!

481
00:17:05,639 --> 00:17:06,841
Here, you can put these on your eyes.

482
00:17:06,873 --> 00:17:08,108
What is that?

483
00:17:08,141 --> 00:17:09,576
Don't be scared.

484
00:17:09,610 --> 00:17:10,844
They're only ice lollies.

485
00:17:10,878 --> 00:17:12,980
Oh, my God!
Please stop talking like that!

486
00:17:13,013 --> 00:17:16,050
You people are the lowest-functioning,

487
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:19,085
most self-absorbed group
I have ever had.

488
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:20,755
Think of other people!

489
00:17:20,787 --> 00:17:24,190
You, stop complaining
that this is so hard.

490
00:17:24,224 --> 00:17:25,860
This is hard for everyone.

491
00:17:25,892 --> 00:17:27,827
At least you can walk
to your car at night

492
00:17:27,861 --> 00:17:28,896
without being afraid.

493
00:17:28,929 --> 00:17:30,997
Yes, I'm not afraid at all.

494
00:17:31,031 --> 00:17:34,735
And, Arpi, yes, I know
that you started this project,

495
00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:36,670
but it doesn't end with you.

496
00:17:36,704 --> 00:17:39,674
Progress literally means moving forward.

497
00:17:39,707 --> 00:17:42,709
And, Mikaela, it is not your
job to educate these people.

498
00:17:42,743 --> 00:17:43,811
They have to learn on their own.

499
00:17:43,843 --> 00:17:45,045
But you know what?

500
00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:46,747
If they're really actually trying,

501
00:17:46,779 --> 00:17:47,949
then you have to...

502
00:17:49,717 --> 00:17:50,818
Hold on.

503
00:17:50,851 --> 00:17:53,353
You have to let them live, okay?

504
00:17:53,387 --> 00:17:54,889
Because being compassionate

505
00:17:54,921 --> 00:17:56,222
doesn't mean you're being complicit.

506
00:17:56,256 --> 00:17:57,253
Thank you.

507
00:17:57,278 --> 00:17:59,693
I will post that to my story
but not credit you.

508
00:17:59,727 --> 00:18:00,861
And you know what?

509
00:18:00,893 --> 00:18:03,229
Yes, I know that you are frustrated,

510
00:18:03,263 --> 00:18:04,999
but you're in power now,

511
00:18:05,032 --> 00:18:07,034
and that comes with responsibilities.

512
00:18:07,066 --> 00:18:08,301
You already pointed to me. I moved.

513
00:18:08,334 --> 00:18:11,138
Oh, God, I was talking
to the Tommy tummy guy.

514
00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:13,006
My eyes are, like, literally on fire.

515
00:18:13,039 --> 00:18:15,008
Can somebody please call my wife?

516
00:18:15,042 --> 00:18:17,311
- Aha!
- Oh, my God!

517
00:18:17,343 --> 00:18:20,147
- You are so self-absorbed!
- This isn't about you!

518
00:18:20,179 --> 00:18:22,048
I know. I know.

519
00:18:22,082 --> 00:18:24,785
- Let's get you ice.
- These really do help.

520
00:18:24,817 --> 00:18:26,987
Hey, guys, we gotta be
more careful with this.

521
00:18:28,756 --> 00:18:30,256
Spicy face!

522
00:18:34,043 --> 00:18:35,645
- Okay.
- You know,

523
00:18:35,677 --> 00:18:37,213
pepper spray is banned
by the Geneva Convention.

524
00:18:37,245 --> 00:18:39,030
Article one, section five.

525
00:18:39,055 --> 00:18:40,733
But that's just for wartime.

526
00:18:40,758 --> 00:18:42,418
Oh, my God, Susan!

527
00:18:42,452 --> 00:18:44,020
- Are you okay?
- Nell?

528
00:18:44,052 --> 00:18:45,465
Nell, is that you? Oh, thank God.

529
00:18:45,490 --> 00:18:47,491
Get me away from these people.

530
00:18:47,525 --> 00:18:49,394
Can you get that box for me, hon?

531
00:18:49,426 --> 00:18:51,395
- Ugh.
- Oh, Nell?

532
00:18:51,429 --> 00:18:52,531
Neil Bremer.

533
00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:54,800
We're so sorry.

534
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,269
Oh, hey, look at that.
We got the same watch.

535
00:19:06,577 --> 00:19:07,812
All right.

536
00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:09,748
I'm gonna go ahead and say it.

537
00:19:09,780 --> 00:19:12,283
You are her type.
Maybe there was a vibe.

538
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:13,518
Right?

539
00:19:13,550 --> 00:19:16,187
It's just 'cause she's married.

540
00:19:21,425 --> 00:19:24,229
Thank you. Gracias.

541
00:19:24,261 --> 00:19:25,664
I'll Venmo you.

542
00:19:25,696 --> 00:19:28,866
- Okay.
- Hey.

543
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:30,702
I'm sorry that I compared
your thigh business

544
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:32,169
to Councilman Bergfeld's.

545
00:19:32,202 --> 00:19:34,239
It's not okay to talk
about your appearance.

546
00:19:34,271 --> 00:19:37,174
I mean, sometimes it is if it's helpful,

547
00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:38,810
like if there's a rip in my pants,

548
00:19:38,843 --> 00:19:40,245
or if it's positive,

549
00:19:40,278 --> 00:19:42,180
like, "You look pretty today, Mikaela."

550
00:19:42,212 --> 00:19:44,247
Okay, if that ever happens,
I'll let you know.

551
00:19:44,272 --> 00:19:45,851
Rude!

552
00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:48,452
Ow. That hurt my arm.

553
00:19:49,484 --> 00:19:51,255
You know, this wasn't that long ago,

554
00:19:51,289 --> 00:19:52,491
but there isn't a single person here

555
00:19:52,523 --> 00:19:54,191
who looks like me.

556
00:19:54,224 --> 00:19:56,461
So if we've gotten to a place
where Neil Bremer,

557
00:19:56,493 --> 00:19:58,163
the richest, whitest,

558
00:19:58,195 --> 00:19:59,664
straightest man I have ever met,

559
00:19:59,696 --> 00:20:02,233
and I have to play by the same rules,

560
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,568
I will take it.

561
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:04,869
Oh, my God.

562
00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:07,372
The women are all sitting on guys' laps.

563
00:20:07,404 --> 00:20:09,441
Arpi wasn't exaggerating.

564
00:20:10,508 --> 00:20:12,410
But a dog got a chair?

565
00:20:12,443 --> 00:20:13,677
Well, it's a police dog.

566
00:20:14,913 --> 00:20:16,615
Hey, is this the bathroom?

567
00:20:16,647 --> 00:20:18,250
- No, no, no, bullpen! Bullpen!
- No! No, no, no, no, no!

568
00:20:18,282 --> 00:20:19,384
Oh. Sorry.

569
00:20:19,416 --> 00:20:20,684
Wait.

570
00:20:20,718 --> 00:20:22,487
No way.

571
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,625
It's Empanada Acoso!

572
00:20:27,658 --> 00:20:30,161
From all the way in Riverside!

573
00:20:30,194 --> 00:20:32,630
- You did this?
- Yeah. Enjoy, bud.

574
00:20:32,664 --> 00:20:34,566
You thought of me.

575
00:20:34,598 --> 00:20:35,833
Thank you.

576
00:20:39,537 --> 00:20:41,906
Ms. Shaw.

577
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:44,209
I spoke coarsely to you earlier.

578
00:20:44,241 --> 00:20:46,243
You are my superior, and if you believe

579
00:20:46,277 --> 00:20:49,247
a formal reprimand is in order,
I understand.

580
00:20:49,279 --> 00:20:50,347
It's fine.

581
00:20:50,381 --> 00:20:53,685
I lost my temper also, and I apologize.

582
00:20:55,286 --> 00:20:56,654
Listen, I...

583
00:20:56,687 --> 00:20:57,688
I know you've been trying to get

584
00:20:57,722 --> 00:20:59,824
your water table proposal
in front of the mayor,

585
00:20:59,856 --> 00:21:02,661
so come by my office next week

586
00:21:02,693 --> 00:21:04,828
and we'll go over it together.

587
00:21:04,862 --> 00:21:06,765
I've got so many chairs.

588
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:09,768
Will do, boss.
I will have infinity seats.

589
00:21:11,769 --> 00:21:14,806
I'm done.

590
00:21:14,838 --> 00:21:16,841
No one judge me!

591
00:21:18,375 --> 00:21:23,375
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