_
There is a dragon at large.
Perhaps we should contract our esteemed head of the Assassins' Guild
to inhume the creature.
The key to controlling the dragon is a talking sword called Wayne.
There are other artefacts.
We need all of them to control the dragon.
I would like you to arrest the arrest the head of the Thieves' Guild.
You want us to declare a war?
You're the Watch? You look like a really shit band.
We can never be friends with humans.
I'm not just a human, am I?
Talk to her.
Take it from me, one day, it'll be too late.
Why are you so afraid of the Dark?
I know what the Dark in the Dark means, Lady Ramkin.
It's how we find the next artefact.
Hey, what are you gawping at?
All the crispy action's down there.
I'd say the evidence is overwhelming.
Wouldn't you agree, Cheery?
Dr Cruces said he was a virgin.
The dragon got to him before we could.
Right. Give that slide back, or I'll eat your eyes out.
That montage is, um, breathtaking.
Oh, do you really think so?
Multiple setups and subverting the jump cuts in such a bold way.
Astonishing, really.
Well, truth and art...
A 180 tracking shot around your hero from that little box?
What are you saying, Lady Ramkin?
The dragon didn't get him, but somebody wants us to think that it did.
Oh, come on. Give an imp a couple of mice
and it'll paint whatever you like. Everyone knows that.
Ooh.
Everyone knows that.
What a catastrophic flaw in the system.
Take the imp in for questioning.
We can arrest all the people we like,
but Carcer's vanished with a talking sword
that can get him whatever he wants.
He could already be on his way to getting the next artefact.
Well, then, we need to get to it first.
Cheery, tell the captain about the Dark in the Dark.
Where's Carcer Dun?
And the sword?
Why aren't you shitting yourselves, hmm?
I'd be shitting myself if I had me by the hair.
Are you constipated?
Angua?
There's not enough room in the cells for them all.
Half of them are damp or uninhabitable.
- I was thinking if we could use yours. - Still need mine.
- Of course, I was... - I'm still me.
I know you're still you.
Well, that leaves the cell that nobody can open.
The one the captain uses as his cellar
and then his second cellar.
Maybe they can share.
- They can't share. - Don't give me human rights again.
When you arrest suspects involved in the same crime,
you have to keep them at least a cell apart
to stop them from talking to each other.
Not if we cut their tongues out.
Carcer dumped us as soon as he found the sword.
We don't know where he is.
You got a problem with that?
No, that was... That was actually really quite effective.
What if we move Skimmer?
To there.
So we've got Skimmer in this one.
What are you looking at?
Your tattoo, it's, um...
It's from your pack, right?
You maybe could get a new one.
For this pack.
Uh, this one's free.
You can't keep us in here.
I'm staying in here now? Huh.
Touch a single thing and I'll cut all your other fingers off.
And you touch a single thing and...
Well, I'll be very disappointed in you.
Our boss will break us out.
Then we'll be arresting him, too.
Urdo's gone.
We have somebody new.
And she is coming...
any second now.
You're all deaf and blind.
A bunch of philistine wankers.
Why go through all the trouble
of faking the attack with the imp?
The thief just told us his new boss is coming here
to break the prisoners out any second now.
He said "she."
And we all know that Dr Cruces and Urdo are sworn enemies.
We think this is guild on guild.
If Cruces is in control
of the Thieves' Guild and the Assassins' Guild...
Thieves and Assassins?
Double-powered super-guild.
What would they call it? The Thesassins' Guild?
Hmm, catchy.
They'll be strong enough to take on Vetinari.
We've already survived that first attack with a...
small scary child with the buns in her head.
If we let Cruces in here,
we lose everything we fought for.
We just stood up to Vetinari. We have to hold the line.
We are the line.
- So we defend it. - No, we can't all stay here.
We hold the line.
You and Angua have got to stop Carcer.
Cheery, it's time to face the Dark in the Dark.
Come on.
Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com
So we know that this is the sword,
the first artefact.
I think this is the Crown of Tak, the second artefact.
How can you be so sure?
They keep it in the temple of the Dark in the Dark.
Wayne said those words.
At the centre of the mine that I escaped from five years ago.
Thought you said you just left.
There was never any leaving.
Promised myself there'd never be any going back.
Well, maybe you don't have to.
Why can't we just get the crown?
You'd never make it without me.
Only I know the mountain pass.
And then there's the Dark to deal with.
We can handle a bit of Dark.
Down there is not like anywhere else.
There's a Dark that hunts.
The Dark doesn't hunt.
It hunted down my mother.
Spike?
_
The box.
_
Now you're gonna stay in the lab, understand?
Then you'll be safe. Okay?
_
Stay. Understand me? Stay.
_
He's completely fallen for me. You might have to restrain him.
Just give me a second.
This is what my mother refused to wear.
It's how we keep the Dark away.
You can't be yourself down there.
You have to be the same.
Man, or woman, everyone has to be the same.
So if you're coming, too, you're gonna need facial hair.
Lots of facial hair.
The prisoners are hairy.
You think I'm afraid of fire?
I was forged in fire.
I can talk to it daily.
Shit, that burns, dickhead!
You are a noble spy.
Well, thank you, Jareth.
All right, all right.
I told him about the Dark in the Dark.
Now please get me out.
I know what he means when he says "Dark in the Dark."
My spy has just told me.
The second artefact is a crown
kept in a temple beneath the city.
- Crown? - Yeah.
We must hurry.
We're going to need protection.
Protection from what?
You'll see.
Don't worry. The enchantment of H'ragna will fade.
Uh, you missed a bit.
Good enough. Let's go.
Hey.
Stop it.
Don't draw attention to yourselves.
The mines of Tak. My home.
Don't worry. I know the way down.
This was my escape route.
Memorised every step.
They know we're here.
Spike.
That's what you called our Goblin friend.
No. Hey, stop.
You know I don't use that name.
Not just because it takes six minutes to say.
- What do you want? - We ask the questions.
And we'll answer them.
Okay, everybody just stop.
We can sort this out calmly, okay?
Just let me see my father. Let me speak to him.
He's dead.
You broke his heart when you left, abandoned your people.
I am now the Dezka'k'nik.
What is that, king?
Senior mining engineer.
- Spike. - That name was for above.
Spike, I need your help.
He needs my help.
- She. - Angua.
- There is no she. - There are two in front of you.
There is no she!
There is the only son of the true Dezka'k'nik
and you will heed the authority by birthright
of my name which is...
_
...the second.
We are confiscating the Crown of Tak
by orders of Lord Vetinari and the City Watch.
Well, why didn't you say so?
This is a law-abiding facility.
If Lord Vetinari has given the order, come on.
Just a little bit.
We need to, uh, barricade this door.
It's the only way in.
What? I won't burn anyone.
I'm more worried about him burning the whole building down.
I swear, I won't.
Although, you have to admit,
it does need a bit of redecorating.
Fine.
Just a three out of ten, Goodboy.
What's a three out of ten?
A mild singeing.
Although, if something does go wrong,
you should take this.
It'll bring Goodboy straight to you.
I've seen this before.
_
Accident.
That's what my father called it.
What else could he call it?
Better for most of the tribe to think you were dead
than know you ran away.
We need to move quietly and quickly, or word will spread.
You never did like difficult questions.
But you're still askin' 'em.
Are you?
A Dezka'k'nik never questions, he leads.
- Why are you helping us? - I told you.
- This is a law-abiding... - I'm not talking about that.
Why don't you hate me?
I left you behind.
There was only time for one of us to escape when your father found out
we wanted to shave our beards.
I should have come back.
Well, you're back now.
For the crown.
Did they give a time?
He said any second.
That's not much of a threat, is it?
Mmm-mmm.
- Should have been more specific. - Mmm-hmm.
How is it that you've seen that whistle before?
Sorry to interrupt.
Give me the keys to your cells
and we'll make this quick.
We've got a city to take over.
Get out of here immediately and you'll keep your skin.
Also your hair, which looks wonderful, by the way.
Oh, I woke up like this.
Keys.
Your plan to form a super-guild is over, Doctor.
And we know you faked the iconograph footage.
Faked? I think you'll find
art is the lie that enables us to realise...
Oh, my God!
Do you have any evidence for this outrageous allegation?
After the tragic death of Urdo van Pew
in the jaws of the dragon,
I offered to support the Thieves' Guild
during this difficult transition period.
- You're full of heart. - I give too much.
Anyway, if I free the prisoners,
they've agreed to make me their leader.
Haven't got the job yet?
Kill them.
- We'll find the keys. - Wait, you can't.
We're, uh, members of the Musicians' Guild, remember?
Hmm. Word on the street is
they've revoked your membership.
Uh, they said, and I think this is a direct quote,
"That woman really can't sing."
- Alice. - Goodboy.
Number ten.
Ten?
Burn them all.
Goodboy?
Run.
The temple.
Where's the crown?
They arrived right before you did.
Carcer.
- Angua... - Stop. You'll summon the Dark.
You let him have the crown, the world up there burns.
But the one down here doesn't.
He told us of the chaos and discord above.
We have none of it down below.
Better it burns.
What about all those innocent people, huh?
You still don't have everything you need, Carcer.
That's right.
We have no idea how many artefacts there are.
There's just one more.
And it's you.
You've lost your mind.
Let him go,
or I'll rip off your arms and legs and shit them out.
- Mmm. - Thanks.
You can't trust Carcer.
He wears a beard of H'ragna.
A secret weave known only by the kin of the Deep-Downers.
What do you mean? They're not wearing beards.
It's a spell. It's an enchantment.
- Bring him. - They've messed with your mind, Spike.
They're playing tricks on you. They're lying to you.
You know what?
I do hate you.
Do you have any idea how much I've suffered down here in the dark,
while you left me for the light?
- Mmm? - Spike.
All the questions I've never been able to answer.
Everything I've had to forget.
That goblin that I named after you,
he saved my life.
He saved me.
And yet you couldn't save me. Ha'ak.
Let's get the Summoning Dark's attention.
No, no, no.
Don't let it take us.
Can't sing.
- You have a lovely voice. - I know.
But thank you.
You're sure it's wise coming down here?
Isn't there another way out?
Ah, don't worry. We're gonna be fine.
Trust me. Like, we're gonna be more than fine.
Amazing.
Cheery uses this place
for more challenging experiments.
Thank Gods!
- What is wrong with you? - What are you doing in here?
They won't stop looking at me.
Well, that's a lot of mannequins.
We're safe.
There's no way we die today.
I saw myself with this in the future.
How can I be the final artefact?
Centuries ago, the sorcerer tried to create peace
by sharing the means of controlling a noble dragon.
A Grimoire for Unseen University.
A sword forged from Octiron for the assassins.
A crown from the same for the miners.
Read the inscription.
"Iron in the sword, Iron in its bearer.
"Iron in the crown, Iron in its wearer.
"They shine and shimmer in noon's first ray.
"Command the dragon and burn the day."
We believe the sorcerer's final act was to put Octiron,
in the blood of the last king.
And you're a descendant of that king.
That's not possible.
Besides, Wayne won't go along with this, will you, Wayne?
- I go where the work is. - What?
Your captain threw me in a lake.
What happened to all that stuff about love, Wayne?
Yeah, what happened to it?
There you were about to die,
and you didn't say anything, to that werewolf chick you were gawping at.
I don't know what he's talking about.
I suggest you stop what you're doing immediately,
and make sweet love right now.
This... This is the way of Wayne.
- Do you wanna go back in that fire? - All right, dickhead.
- Shall we? - Right.
There's no use struggling Angua.
These chains were forged before we were born.
What was that insult? Ha'ak?
You mean, she?
Which is the worst thing that you can be around here.
I got that much.
Is that why they took our beards off?
My mother shaved hers off.
She started asking questions, exploring.
And that's when they stole her away.
The dark, it, it's summoned by difference.
So, when I started asking my own questions,
And I knew that I... I couldn't stay here.
I'm glad you didn't.
Oh, I always loved the dark.
It meant no moon.
Hey, don't be afraid, Cheery.
Even in the blackest night, I'll find you.
Hey!
You keep away from her.
Yeah, that's right. You know me.
No! Cheery...
Come on, Goodboy.
What are you singing?
What's wrong with you?
Why won't you talk to mummy?
Vimes, when you were in Carcer's head, you saw into the future,
What else did you see?
Well, Sybil. It's all...
- It's, it's hard to... - He's gone red.
No he's always that colour.
Haven't you been using that moisturiser I gave you?
- Oh, stop it with the moisturiser. - Here, I have some more.
- I always do. - You're not moisturising me.
- Especially in front of him. - I don't mind
Vimes.
Oh.
- Can I have a bit? - You murdered my parents.
Oh, yeah.
As soon as we read that inscription, I knew it was you.
- Saw you on a throne? - Before I came to Ankh-Morpork
he'd never seen me before.
Oh, no, not before, talking about after.
Wait. When you fell through that storm...
you went to the future.
Oh, turns out you're as smart as the legends say.
- Legends? - Yeah,
Sam Vimes, the Watch and Captain Carrot.
The kid from the mountains who turns out to be the one true heir.
- Wait, I make captain. - And there you all were.
Me, I was nowhere.
No place. Not even a time.
If I am king...
the only thing I'll tell the dragon to burn is you.
You won't be telling it anything,
but your blood.
Well, that's going to help me tell it to burn everything.
You just left the most dangerous and inspiring woman
with the most ingenious dwarf.
- The Dark will take him. - Her.
Cheery has done amazing things since she left this place.
Dark doesn't know what it's messing with.
Angua!
I won't be quiet.
You can shush me all you want.
I will not be quiet. I will not disappear.
They need me.
What is this? What is this?
It's you cheery.
It's all you.
Mama...
Mama... Mama, how?
I thought the Dark took you.
The Dark doesn't seek those who are different
to punish them?
It's time to leave that cruel lie behind.
Here in the Dark lie endless possibilities,
Multiverses, so they can hear, so they can see.
- Who, who are they? - Them? They're all you.
So you must take all this difference with you,
the Summoning Dark is your ally.
It will follow, protect you. You can wield its power.
Wait, you're not coming with me?
I have universes to explore.
But one day I'll find you.
And until then, remember...
Cherish the horizon, not the destination, my sweet.
How long was I gone for?
- Just a moment. - Just a moment.
Where did you go?
We need to save Carrot. But I can't get a scent.
- It's too far away. - You don't have to find him.
Now, we have help.
Skimmer is locked in with Vimes and Lady Ramkin.
I think I can gas them through the keyhole.
I need them alive.
I want these artefacts.
That moisturiser has taken days off you.
Now, I may be the most ruthless woman in...
Well, actually, I may be the most ruthless woman,
but would it surprise you to learn that I can also be reasonable?
Send out the traitor and I'll spare you both.
We're not that stupid, doctor.
Captain, you've just locked yourself inside one of your own cells.
Only until reinforcements arrive.
Which they will at any moment.
That's good.
Mmm.
Um.
Karen from Finance. Tell me you've found another way in.
Lose the spreadsheet and just show me.
Someone was trying to tunnel out.
- Almost got through. - Can you fit in there?
Remember that time I made myself so small
I could hide in that ambassador's suitcase?
The heart attack got him before you could. I was proud. Very proud.
Mmm.
We're close to the entrance.
If you've really been to the future...
Do you know if I find them? My real parents?
The ones who threw me down a mine shaft.
The future will soon be in flames.
_
Why is it chasing us?
Run!
You know, Lady Ramkin, Skimmer often brags
about how easy it was to throttle your mother.
Said she had a very brittle neck.
She's lying.
And your father...
Well, Skimmer loves to tell anybody who'll listen
how he barely put up a fight.
That's not true, Lady Ramkin. It's not true.
- What are you doing? - I'm taking him out.
- I told you. - What?
That we don't die today because of the whistle.
Sybil, I saw something else.
Give me the keys.
You know what does die today if you do this?
You said yourself, "We are the line".
You drew that line. We don't hold it...
if we can't keep this man safe in our custody...
He is much safer out there than he is in here with me.
Keys?
Almost there.
It has us.
I'm not afraid of the Dark.
You should be afraid of what's in it.
Summoning Dark.
Well, that was very effective.
Carcer Dun you're under arrest.
- I'm coming with you. - What? Get away, get away.
Oh!
Bollocks.
Spike.
What are you doing?
Don't let it take us.
The Dark's our friend, Spike.
It helps us be anything we wanna be.
You just have to learn to embrace it.
Go back.
Tell every miner and Deep-Downer that we don't have to be this way.
We were wrong.
You want me to start a revolution?
Yeah, I like that. Go start a revolution,
for me.
I mean, you did leave me for dead, so...
It's gone quiet out there.
- One of those mannequins just moved. - Ah, you're imagining things.
I'm telling you one of them just moved.
- Hello. - Shit.
Going to kick me in the face?
How did you get in here?
Hope you are not going to sing.
My singing voice is bloody excellent. Alright?
Sybil.
I was digging a tunnel.
With what? We took your spoon.
My shoe.
You can't dig a tunnel with a shoe.
Well, you can when there's a knife in the toe.
Well, where is it then?
Well, it's blunt now. There's no point showing you.
- Mine's not blunt. - It's death for us all.
No, it's not.
I can't see him anywhere.
Well, that's debatable.
-So Carrot's really the third artefact, -That's what he said.
And a king?
Did you see where Carcer and Wonse went?
They vanished just like in Twilight Canyons.
What happened when you were taken by the dark?
I saw my mother, Angua.
She told me how to harness the power of the Dark.
She was singing it, though, and we were dancing it, and dreaming it.
It passed through every particle of me.
- What was it? - It's a kind of magic. It's...
an infinity of all that I can be.
And there's no shame there's no right or wrong.
In there you can be anything.
Everything.
The Captain and Lady Ramkin are in trouble. The Assassin's Guild.
I got this. Don't worry, your majesty.
I've got a friend who can help us.
Pass me my strangling gloves.
So...
Now that we're all together, and thank you for joining me, by the way,
I would love to talk about what's on your board.
That's confidential information.
That sounded very policing, well done.
Where are the artefacts that will give me the power
to control the dragon?
- We don't know. - And even if we did,
- we wouldn't tell you. - But we don't. So that's irrelevant.
Cheery...
You look...
Fabulous!
Get away from them, you tone deaf banshee.
Don't ever insult Dr Cruces' singing again.
Oh, but it's okay to insult mine?
Hold on Sybil. I really don't think it's the time for...
I'm sorry, but it's the double standards that get me.
I think people should be consistent with their threats and insults.
Don't worry, Lady Ramkin.
Summoning Dark. Hit that shit.
That's my song.
? You are a vampire ?
? You are a thirsty witch ?
How are you doing that?
? Your game is fire your weapon, hate ?
? Hate, hate ?
That's my voice.
? You make me paranoid, paranoid ?
? Oh, yeah ?
? You are the anti-Christ ?
? Anti-Christ ?
? You make me paranoid, paranoid ?
? Oh, yeah ?
? You are the anti-Christ ?
How is it possible?
? Anti-Christ ?
Welcome back.
We remind you that as a mortal being,
in an interdimensional eternity
you must please keep away from the edge. Thank you.
Enjoy your visit to the observer's realm.
I tried to warn you.
Carcer Dun,
- You have... - I know, I've failed.
So you're gonna erase me, right?
Careful. I've just been polished.
Go on...
Do it. Do it.
- Hang on. Who is she? - I thought you knew everything.
We observe everything. We do not know everything.
I am your humble servant.
Oh, great ones. Oh, glorious!
Powerful. I can tell from this distance
how uncommonly intelligent you are.
She can stay.
It all makes sense. It's destiny. Think about it.
All this started when I arrived in town.
I even got a crown-shaped birthmark on my arse.
Did Carcer say anything about us?
- Us? - Yes.
Us.
Oh, us in the future.
No, no, he just talked about me.
You know, I always thought I was the weak link.
Turns out I'm special too.
Maybe that's why I wasn't affected when I went to the lake.
Or maybe you're the only one of us who has nothing wrong with them.
Is that a compliment, right?
This turns purple,
you've got Octiron in your blood.
And Carcer can't do anything without me.
And keep you safe, we win.
Ahum.
- What does that mean? - Well it means...
Normal. No Octiron.
- Sorry. - Ordinary.
I really thought I'd found something.
A real connection to my true parents.
- Maybe you still have. - Just leave it.
- Shit. - Well, if he's not the third artefact,
then who is?
We have been trying to destroy Sam Vimes for an eternity,
but everywhere across the multiverse...
He rises, falls in love, gives people hope.
So there must be a version where he does none of these things, right?
Where he's as likely to kill Lady Sybil Ramkin as kiss her.
All other eventualities come to pass,
but there's nowhere in the multiverse,
where Sam Vimes murders Lady Sybil Ramkin.
It is the greatest anomaly in all reality.
What if we could break the anomaly?
- What are you doing? - You should have introduced us earlier.
Can you guarantee my safety, captain?
Cruces is gone.
It's not Dr Cruces I'm worried about.
- What? - Nothing.
Find us the worst version of Sam Vimes
and we'll make him murder Sybil Ramkin.
If what you say is true,
the ripple effect could tear down the watch,
wherever they are.
They do this.
We've found him.
The worst version of Sam Vimes.
CREDITS