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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --

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If it were me,

3
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,635
like, straight out of an
action movie all bad ass,

4
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:35,755
I would walk up the stairs

5
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to his apartment and be like,

6
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"Yo, backup singer bitch."

7
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"Open up!"

8
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And as soon as she opens the door,

9
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I'd be like...

10
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Seriously?

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You shot me.

12
00:00:53,981 --> 00:00:59,420
_

13
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,255
What?

14
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This is about that money
pit you're dating.

15
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,973
It's not about the girls
he's two-timing you with.

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By "money pit" you mean
the tone-deaf child

17
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who uses concerts I bankroll
as a personal pussy parade?

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_

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Dude, if you shot every girl that
monster has ever slept with,

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we're left with like, Sam.

21
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_

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And that's it.

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Oh, no, and me.

24
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Fine. I won't shoot her and
her stupid ugly fat face.

25
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What?

26
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She surprised me.

27
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Honey! I'm home.

28
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Were we supposed to wear
something under these?

29
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Hey, babe, I see you
met my backup singer.

30
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She's out of the band.

31
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Your guitar never sounded better!

32
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Ahh.

33
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Oh.

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- Come on.
- Seriously?

35
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You surprise me. How thoughtful.

36
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Gross.

37
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- I'm going to finish you.
- Really?

38
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'Cause usually I have to
do that myself afterwards.

39
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I clothe you. I feed you.

40
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I buy your fancy custom guitar picks.

41
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I'm gonna need more
of those, by the way.

42
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And then I find a Myspace page

43
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chronicling your rock
'n' roll sexcapades!

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Babe!

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I'm sorry, Jimmy.

46
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There's no encore tonight.

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Oh, now you go down.

48
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- Dude.
- What?

49
00:03:41,940 --> 00:03:44,475
- That is totally unrealistic.
- It's a fantasy.

50
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Hmm. It's no fun if it
could never happen.

51
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I found it pretty satisfying.

52
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You smudged.

53
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Found it!

54
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- It's gonna look so good.
- Okay.

55
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Fine, let's hear your fantasy.

56
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But good luck coming up
with something better

57
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than stomach-fucking your boyfriend
with his own guitar neck.

58
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This is demeaning.

59
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Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

60
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I wouldn't do that.

61
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Why? Did you poison it?

62
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- No. I mean, mixing red and white.
- Oh.

63
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Chop-chop, ladies!

64
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We have work to do.

65
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Your fantasy is cooking him dinner?

66
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What are you gonna do,
kill him with cholesterol?

67
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I'm not going to kill him.

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I'm going to serve him
his favorite dinner

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and show him what women's
lib is really about.

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Places! Everyone. Roger
will be home any minute.

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You're so late, you must be famished.

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Not hungry.

73
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Hey. Hey! Hey!

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What is this? What are...
Hey! What are you doing?

75
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I told you I was making dinner tonight.

76
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I already ate.

77
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Well... then you're
gonna fucking eat again!

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I have painstakingly prepared
this amazing meal for you, Roger,

79
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so that you would see what an amazing
girlfriend I am to you, Roger.

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Why don't you appreciate me, Roger?

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See? Doesn't that feel better?

82
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Yeah, it's better.

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My fantasy now!

84
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Great. Now I'm a prostitute.

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- Shhhhh.
- Babe.

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- Are you all right?
- Latin.

87
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Latin. Latin. Latin.
Latin. Latin. Latin. Latin.

88
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Wait.

89
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I was just folding your laundry.

90
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Why am I tied up?

91
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Is that firewood?

92
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Why are the girls here?

93
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Why is everyone in black?

94
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Why are you chanting?

95
00:07:49,060 --> 00:07:50,860
Why is Cher dressed like a prostitute?

96
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Latin. Latin. Latin.
Latin. Latin. Latin.

97
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:08,340
Latin. Latin. Latin.
Latin. Latin. Latin.

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Oh, oh, no... I gotta get a new shirt.

99
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I was gonna take you to that
nice little French place tonight.

100
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Oh, God, I'm so sorry,

101
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does anyone have any club
soda? I can get that right out.

102
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_

103
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That right reminded me of you.

104
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When did you even do that?

105
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:10,955
Oh, God, why am I on fire?

106
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Because you text me too much.

107
00:09:16,820 --> 00:09:21,773
- He texts you too much?
- Oh, my God, it's like non-stop.

108
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"I'm thinking about you,

109
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I'm going to the store,
do you need any tampons?

110
00:09:25,580 --> 00:09:28,075
I made a mash-up of what
our children will look like,

111
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aren't they adorable?"

112
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So he's sweet and attentive, huh?

113
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Maybe revenge isn't a good idea.

114
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Maybe we should focus on empowerment.

115
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It's like I once said:
I'm tough, I'm ambitious,

116
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and I know exactly what I want,

117
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and if that makes me a bitch... okay.

118
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Honey. That was Madonna.

119
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Yeah, I don't really need to kill Jimmy.

120
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He'll just starve without me anyway.

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To Empowerment!

122
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To us!

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To popcorn! Let's make some.

124
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So, what should we do with them?

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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --