_
Where were we with this?
Throat's the city's best snitch.
But her information doesn't come cheap.
Vimes and Carcer. They grew up together.
30 kids used to sleep in here.
I was never a kid.
I had to take care of myself 'cause no one else would.
Took care of you, remember?
You're a werewolf.
Why don't you stay like this?
Because I'm not just this.
Do you have any idea how many thieves
rethink their choice of profession
after ten weeks of intensive nursing?
The key to controlling the dragon
is a talking sword called Wayne?
There are other artefacts.
We need all of them to control the dragon.
We must question the sword, Vimes.
You're talking about controlling the Dragon yourself, sir?
Failure to comply with my orders can only be fatal.
We want you to steal something.
A sword...
It's in the hands of a fool.
All you have to do...
is take it from him.
Oh. Thought you'd snuffed it.
Are you measuring me?
It's for my mate, Dave The Re-animator.
He does dancing corpses for kids' parties.
I'm not a corpse.
Do look a bit peaky, though.
Is there any low you don't sink to?
I don't lock women in crates.
Oh, I am sorry about that.
Ah, quite enjoyed it, actually.
See, that's what I love most about our city, Vimes.
Whatever happens, no matter how bad it is,
people will take it. Gangs, then guilds. Now a dragon.
It's not that they say "Yes," they just never say "No."
If Vetinari slaughtered half of 'em for looking at him funny,
the other half, they'd just...
Snap to it.
Sounds like you admire him.
He's a man of her word.
Oh, is this on? No. No, keep painting.
Are you poor? Destitute?
Looking for your next opportunity to be exploited?
Unseen University is delighted offer you
the chance of a brief but rewarding career
in Supernatural Disposal.
Write to me, The Archchancellor, Ethereal Way...
You sure you're feeling all right, Vimes?
'Cause what Dave does with them corpses is very tasteful.
All right, Wayne. We need answers.
I'm not saying shit without my solicitor.
Recognise this?
Yeah. Quite tricky without eyes.
How do these artefacts bring the Noble Dragon to heel?
Not entirely sure how I can hear, either.
We were told you used to dream about other artefacts.
I can see the logic of this is bullshit.
- Yeah, it doesn't make much sense. - Constable Carrot,
add "withholding information" to the charge sheet.
- You're gonna charge a sword? - A rusty sword, really?
Yesterday, he was the most talkative bladed weapon I've ever met
- He's playing us. - He is a little rusty.
Been entombed for so long,
the change in air temperature's making him tarnish.
- There you go. He's got it. - Thanks, Spike.
Get those test-tubes cleaned
and then you can take the afternoon off, all right?
_
Good day to you, my Lord.
Mmm, mmm.
Thou restoreth me anew.
Is there anything you can tell us about the other artefacts?
My memory is becoming clearer by the second.
We're connected. Sometimes we dream about each other,
sometimes dragons, sometimes squid, you like squid?
Tell us how to find the other artefacts, now,
or I'll fetch my soldering iron...
What about the Sorcerer?
After he created the Grimoire, something changed him, didn't it?
Gave you all away. He hid you.
There was this one thing, didn't think much of it at the time.
The Sorcerer told someone to hide one of the others in, erm,
now, let me see, what was it? The dark.
In the dark.
- Is that it? - Why'd you say it twice?
So everyone remembers it later.
- Whoa, there. - Vimes.
This sword is a cryptic arsehole.
- Thank you. - You're coming with me.
Sir, we have orders to interrogate Wayne and...
New orders.
Tell us where you're going, Captain.
There's a lake where the Archchancellor dumps magical waste.
- So, you're dumping Wayne? - I'll do the dumping round here.
They used pay us street kids to cart rubbish out to it.
I like to dump.
It would dissolve as soon as it hit the water.
I was once known as the Duchess of Dump.
Any day, any night...
And Lord Vetinari wants this?
- He can tell us so much more. - And the dragon?
A wild animal no one can control
is better than a weapon in the wrong hands.
Is that Vetinari talking or you?
Wayne speaks, and he's alive, Sir.
- And we're not executioners. - Will you listen to me?
If I don't carry out this order, Vetinari will execute me.
So I'm doing this. Just me.
There is no "Just me."
Not any more. We're a team.
That is the deliberate desecration of a public building under...
Er...
Section 2 of the Criminal Damage Act, Sir.
Keep reading those law books, son.
Cheery, don't give up on that jigsaw puzzle.
Angua!
I'm promoting you to Captain.
Temporarily, sir.
And I want you all to find whoever's responsible
for insulting the dignity of the Watch House.
It's not an insult, Vimes. It means resist.
It's a sign that people are starting to believe,
that we, together, can make things better.
Look after them, Lady Ramkin.
Are we about to embark on an epic quest?
What's wrong with him?
Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com
You are my top earners. My best.
La Creme, no building you can't burgle.
Shifty? Get that hand out of my pocket, ya filth.
And of course, there's, erm...
- Brian. - Brian.
Brian. And you steal...
- Identities. - Of course. Right.
That's why I didn't now what to call... Brian today, is it?
What is power?
Fear.
Fear makes people remember you.
Respect you.
Accept the unthinkable.
You control what people fear...
You control them.
Yep, good speech.
So, me and my new squad here
have a way of making what stalks the skies above
into our B-I-T-C-H.
The Noble Dragon.
That's right...
Could you give us a minute, please?
Please, I'm right in the middle of something.
All you need to do
is steal this sword from The Watch.
Once we have it, we'll control the dragon.
And the city, is ours.
Dickhead.
My advice would be to look where you're going when you montage.
Only a mile outside the city and you've already fallen over?
Good walk, Vimes?
I...
Meant do that. Quickest way down.
I thought I told you to stay put.
Captain Angua told us to follow you, Sir.
- Said it might be dangerous. - Dangerous?
It's just wasteland. It's perfectly safe.
Are those gallows?
It's only a gate. Come back here, the pair of you.
_
Kind of busy for a wasteland, Captain.
These weren't here before.
Perfectly safe?
Looks like they ripped themselves apart.
It takes a lot to rip out your own spine.
What would make you want do something like that yourself?
We've all wanted pull off our own heads from time to time.
Now, I want you both to go back right now.
Listen, something's obviously different from when you were last here.
I still have to go through with it.
Are you sure, Vimes?
It's not just what you did. It's everything you're gonna do.
Okay. Okay.
But if there's any trouble, you get out. You go. Understand?
Captain? Wayne's a powerful magical artefact.
If we try dissolve him, there could be catastrophic consequences.
So we get clear when we get to the lake.
At least let me carry him for a while.
I can run some tests. Make sure it's safe.
You don't want blow us all up, do you?
Lake is five miles Hubwards.
This place...
They'll be back soon.
What's left to come back to
when you've just sentenced a living creature to death?
- It's just a sword. - He's just a sword.
Why is the Captain so ready throw away
- everything we're trying to be? - And what are we trying to be, Carrot?
Better.
Sometimes things can't be helped.
There's no sometimes when it comes being a killer, Angua.
How do you know those words, "The dark in the dark?"
You can't dissolve me.
- Answer me, Wayne. - I am your brother.
Cheery, what is he saying?
All right, I'm not your brother, but...
- it was worth... - Nothing.
Maybe, er, Cheery,
I should carry him.
If you can't hear me, there's no point.
I'm a talking sword. I'm one of a kind.
To cover me up is torture.
What is that?
Looks like the things we used to dump in the lake.
The Archchancellor's failed inventions.
Some kind of torture instrument, maybe.
But why has it been dumped here?
It's reacting to us.
Where the hell did that come from?
Whoa, careful.
Is it for walking?
What's the point of walking if you don't go anywhere?
That's weird.
_
Not any weirder than this complaint.
_
Unseen University steals these inventions
from a place called Roundworld.
Why isn't all this stuff in the lake?
When were you last here, Vimes?
Long before I joined The Watch.
These objects are leaking thaumic energy everywhere.
And we're walking through that energy right now?
We need to tread carefully.
I think the closer we get to those objects,
the more it disturbs their energy, it displaces them.
It's like they don't want be here.
And this energy? Is it harmful?
Who knows?
It's pure, undiluted magic.
No one's safe from that.
Is that why those people were ripping themselves apart?
- Doubt it. - Really?
No, not really.
Broken things and thaumic energy. It's not a good combination.
_
The complaint came from down there.
Who complains about not being robbed?
It was terrible.
I... I pre-booked the robbery,
chose a noon slot so I'd know when the Thieves were coming.
But then...
Just take your time.
They just walked past me.
I don't know what this world's coming to.
I paid for a scheduled mugging, too.
We're good citizens. Comply with Guild rules.
Accept it's our social duty.
Only for this to happen.
Now we don't know when we'll be attacked.
I know. We understand.
Don't you wanna live in a better city?
Like a law-abiding place where no one is duty-bound to be attacked?
Yeah, but, we don't live in that perfect world, do we, Constable?
So what are you gonna do about this one, eh?
That's the question.
No. The question is, where are the Thieves that work this patch?
They won't give up the sword easily, Brian.
Oh, it's Stefano now.
They'll fight.
They'll lose.
Go with Brian... Ugh, Stefano. Go.
_
Don't move.
I'm not moving.
Give me the necklace.
Lydia?
Back to stealing?
What happened to you?
You were my star student.
You won Most Rapid Rehabilitation...
It doesn't work, Lady Ramkin.
Nothing you ever tried to do works.
It's all broken.
- I let you go too soon. - You can't do it.
You can't change people.
I had a family before you took me.
A family of thieves and beggars and blackmailers
but still a family.
When I wanted to go straight, they abandoned me.
I was alone.
You orphaned me.
What's happening?
She's throttling herself. It must be the magic.
Klatchian coffee will sort her out. Come on.
Drink it, Sybil.
Very good, very good.
Sybil.
You've got to go back.
You look tired, Vimes.
Let me take Wayne.
Not a good combination, Lady Ramkin.
Ah.
Corporal von Uberwald, Constable Irounfoundersson.
I never knew young dragons could sing.
He's, um, special, Sir.
I've come here to check on the progress of the interrogation.
The sword.
Is Vimes here?
- Yes. - No.
- Yes.
The Captain and Corporal Cheery took the sword out for a walk.
Why would it need two of them to walk a prisoner?
If my old man could see me now.
The great name, Urdo van Pew,
forever synonymous with power.
My father brought me here when I was six.
No guild would have him.
So the only way he could feed us was to steal.
Noble profession.
- I don't see a sword. - It's gone.
Remember the lake we used to go to?
The lands around it are now magically contaminated
by the Archchancellor's experiments.
Anyone who trespasses unprotected
disturbs their thaumic energy fields.
Sends them back into the part of the city they set out from.
How does that help me?
I just saw one by The Watch House.
It doesn't want to be thrown away.
Vimes is gonna dissolve the sword.
Er, excuse me, who's in charge here?
I think the applause was for both speeches.
The Thieves' Guild killed my dad,
so you're still on their territory.
I wasn't around then.
Ah.
But you are now.
Does this place always look like it's been ransacked by a mob?
We're gonna clean it up, Sir.
I would, if I were you.
I want Captain Vimes
to deliver a progress report on his return.
Wow.
You are the worst liar I've ever met.
Yeah, well, Vetinari didn't do this...
The prisoner.
Who was here, Skimmer?
I'm not trying to escape.
I just like eating the wall.
Ah... Thieves' Guild.
You know in Uberwald we don't have spoons, we have scoops.
To scrape innards out of our prey's carcass.
La Creme,
Shifty, Woosh and Stefano, their top guys.
They wanted the sword.
Ow!
Ah.
Can I have my spoon back, please?
Carcer's cut a deal with The Thieves' Guild.
And if the Captain goes ahead with his plan
Vetinari will execute him.
That's why he made you Captain.
He doesn't think he'll be coming back.
He's almost ready.
The thaumic energy has side effects.
The drifters the Archchancellor sends in there
talk about how it compels them to see what's broken inside.
You have a way to protect us?
Well, this Charm should displace
whatever would have happened to us onto him.
His mind will be destroyed.
Good.
We're almost there.
Whoa... Let's go!
You've got the wrong man, Constable.
I'm a thief, not a snitch.
Never seen him before.
You didn't even look.
And that bundle of notes?
There's new rules for thieves.
Aren't you meant to be giving all profits to The Assassins' Guild?
Look at it!
This is Stu the Fence.
Says Carcer and Urdo were here.
That's right, isn't it, Stu?
Isn't it, Stu?
Yeah.
Where is he?
Well?
Him and the boss is headed to a lake outside the city.
If you leave now, you might catch them.
Boy...
Boy!
Stop!
What's your name?
Sam. Sam Vimes.
It's too dangerous for you to be out here on your own, Sam.
Mmm. Don't be afraid.
Sam!
Carcer?
Sorry, mister. I have to go.
No wait, both of you! Don't go!
Sam!
It's got a hold of him, too, Cheery.
Hurry.
- Captain. Captain. - Come on, Vimes. Drink.
That's it.
Come on. Wake up. Wake up.
Vimes, wake up. Come on, Vimes.
- Vimes! - It's not working. Why's it not working?
It doesn't work, Lady Ramkin.
Yep, that's it.
Come on, Captain. Come on.
There!
I'm so tired.
Maybe it's time.
Yeah. It's me.
To stop?
Maybe.
Stop what?
Watching, Sam Vimes. Watching.
You don't think I should throw the sword into the lake?
Nothing you ever tried to do works.
Nothing works.
Lady Ramkin...
Ah!
You can't do it.
You can't change people.
We're caught between too many Thaumic Fields.
That's why he's not coming out of it.
We need to get him clear.
Lady Ramkin?
We need to destroy Wayne.
What were you whispering to him back there?
That doesn't matter.
Don't do this.
I'm going to find the other artefacts.
Control that dragon. And I will make a change.
But I looked into Vetinari's eyes.
And you were afraid of what looked back,
like this dog is afraid of you.
- Afraid of me? - Mmm.
You used to piss on me.
Because it is angry with your kind.
So it pisses on them whenever it can.
Bites anyone who tries to touch it.
Oh.
Stop watching.
Start believing.
So, you're telling me
the worst isn't inevitable?
No. I'm telling you I appear to be
temporarily trapped in a dog.
Oh.
And also, that first part I just said, about believing...
Weren't you listening?
He needs you, Lady Ramkin!
He's got you. He always had.
Come on, Captain.
Come on.
Ah!
No, Cheery. Stop!
It's not real!
Stop!
Stop, please. Stop.
Stop. No!
It's not just what you did...
it's everything you're gonna do.
Take this.
Sam.
Sam!
I don't want to throw it all away.
Cheery!
Cheery.
Are we out? Are we out of it?
Yes.
She tried to take it, Captain.
If you want change you need power.
Anybody who wants power that bad
- shouldn't have it. - Well, then.
That would make you the perfect leader, wouldn't it?
Lake's that way.
We have to get to the Captain before them.
Angua?
One. Two.
Three.
Four...
Five...
Six, seven...
- What's going on? - Eight.
Nine.
Ten.
Ready for my birthday surprise!
It's for your own good, Angua.
Don't leave me, Grandma.
Don't leave me! Grandma!
Don't leave me! Please! Come back!
Help me!
Angua!
No.
Your Grandma told me to find you.
Gretchen, go away.
It's a trap.
Run away, Gretchen.
It's not safe. Leave now!
Why would I run away from you?
You're my best friend.
No, Gretchen! Go!
I'm not gonna leave you.
It's time you accepted what you are, Angua.
It's in our blood.
Wait till Mother finds out.
Angua.
Darling.
You had to learn.
For the good of the pack,
we can never be friends with humans.
You knew?
Angua...
I can never be friends with humans.
I'm not just a human,
am I?
Like you're not just a werewolf?
And Wayne's not just a sword.
And I'm not gonna run away from you either.
You're in a different pack now.
So if you'll just let me go
I swear I won't say anything to anyone about any of this.
I'll retire to a farm.
Get beaten into a ploughshare,
toil the land until the end of my days.
Just let me go in peace
and we'll say nothing more about it.
What do you say?
It's too dangerous to let the city have you.
- Vimes. - Look, you don't have to do this.
Don't give up on this chance.
You have to do it, Captain.
Shit. Really?
No. No, don't. Please, don't.
There's something I must tell you.
I am your brother!
It's a Lady of the Lake.
A what?
Ladies form in magically contaminated water.
I am not your brother!
Bollocks.
Behold.
Oh, great.
The Lady has spoken.
Why aren't you wearing decent boots?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
"My boots cost $10."
Hey, hey, hey. Don't move, Captain. Don't move.
Shits on a bit, doesn't he?
It's just at the edge.
I think she was actually aiming for your toe.
Now look at you.
She doesn't want us to throw him away.
Well, what does she want?
I don't know.
What should we do with the swo...
You have to use her title.
- Lady of the... - Lady...
...of the Lake.
And ask a specific question.
Is Vimes
right to get rid of the sword?
Well, that's a no.
Lady of the Lake...
If I don't do this...
What happens in the future?
To the city?
To us?
To me?
I'd be disappointed with that.
Wait.
Resist?
I think this one's real.
Oh, it's very real.
You said it's not just what I did.
It's what am I gonna do.
What am I gonna do?
Nothing now.
Move! That way. Go!
- The sword. - There's too many of them. Come on.
Get into to that. Whatever it is.
- Ah! - What the hell is it?
I have no idea.
Destroying the sword wasn't Vetinari's order, was it, Captain?
Why did the Lady of the Lake throw it back to me?
Because she knew it would be in the right hands.
We can't throw this away.
Now you really are Captain.
And this time, stay here.
All of you. Right?
Can you fellas...
Sir, before you do
whatever it is you're gonna do with me,
I'd like to recommend Corporal Angua
for promotion to Captain.
Between her, Cheery and the kid
you've got everything you need.
I refuse.
This pack doesn't leave anyone behind.
And if you're gonna be punished...
Then so are we.
The Watch doesn't work without you, Captain.
Lady Sybil Ramkin.
Lord Havelock Vetinari.
Unusual company you've been keeping.
They care very deeply about the future of this city.
As much as you do, Lady Ramkin?
I do what I must.
And now this?
And now this.
The inhumation of an aristocrat
in Ankh-Morpork
would be quite unremarkable, Lady Ramkin.
The sudden disappearance
of the only people willing to sacrifice themselves
for the sake of others wouldn't be,
Lord Vetinari.
I see.
Captain Vimes.
I would like you
and your brave officers
to arrest the Head of The Thieves' Guild
and anybody else
who aided the fugitive Carcer Dun.
You want us to declare war?
To sacrifice yourself
for the sake of others.
Oh, and would you retrieve the sword if you can?
I care very deeply about the future of this city.
Cheery fixed it. Look.
You were right. It is for walking.
The prisoner can walk himself now.
He won't need us to do it.
Heads up, team.
Constable Carrot,
when you first got here
you tried to arrest the Head of the Thieves' Guild.
Now you're gonna get to do it for real.
So you better be ready.
You all better be ready,
'cause I have no idea how this is gonna go.
Most importantly,
who gets to shout, "This is a raid?"
Me?
Well... Only if you insist.
I brought this old thing, just in case.
Hmm.
Cheery.
What were you talking about with the sword?
I know what "the dark in the dark" means, Lady Ramkin.
It's how we find the next artefact.
And it terrifies me.
CREDITS