1 00:00:11,195 --> 00:00:16,195 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 2 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,500 All right, now you take the needle, 3 00:00:19,533 --> 00:00:22,035 and you scoop the loop. 4 00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:24,132 All right, then you pull it through. 5 00:00:24,157 --> 00:00:25,625 - Ow, fuck! - Pull it tight. 6 00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,277 When the hell does this turn into a pillow? 7 00:00:27,301 --> 00:00:28,766 What are you doing? 8 00:00:28,790 --> 00:00:30,359 Knitting. 9 00:00:30,384 --> 00:00:32,109 You making another self-sculpture? 10 00:00:32,134 --> 00:00:33,886 Looks just like you. 11 00:00:33,930 --> 00:00:35,234 Fuck off. 12 00:00:35,797 --> 00:00:38,393 - What, another weed bread? - Yeah, makes some good money. 13 00:00:38,435 --> 00:00:40,687 Well, there goes my pandemic girlfriend. 14 00:00:40,729 --> 00:00:42,064 You have a girlfriend? 15 00:00:42,105 --> 00:00:44,191 Had. Sasha just broke up with me. 16 00:00:44,232 --> 00:00:46,437 Sasha? 17 00:00:47,008 --> 00:00:49,363 I even changed my name to "Liam Rodenstein." 18 00:00:49,656 --> 00:00:51,406 Thought if being a Black Jew worked for Drake, 19 00:00:51,448 --> 00:00:52,780 it might work for me. 20 00:00:52,805 --> 00:00:54,534 - It didn't? - Almost. 21 00:00:54,890 --> 00:00:56,745 Till she found out I'm a Gallagher. 22 00:00:56,787 --> 00:00:58,288 What's going on? 23 00:00:58,330 --> 00:01:00,040 Frank, drunk, looking for a bed. 24 00:01:00,082 --> 00:01:02,250 - Who the hell let him? - Debbie? 25 00:01:02,292 --> 00:01:03,710 Why can't he sleep out on the porch? 26 00:01:03,752 --> 00:01:04,669 It's warm enough. 27 00:01:04,711 --> 00:01:07,130 I want my bed back! 28 00:01:07,172 --> 00:01:08,430 Oh, hell no! 29 00:01:10,425 --> 00:01:11,468 Morning, Frank. 30 00:01:11,510 --> 00:01:12,672 This is my house! 31 00:01:13,136 --> 00:01:15,389 It's okay, Daddy. You can sleep in my room. 32 00:01:16,431 --> 00:01:18,308 Debbie stole a baby. 33 00:01:18,586 --> 00:01:20,143 - Why? - It's Debbie. 34 00:01:20,185 --> 00:01:21,603 Why would you steal a little boy 35 00:01:21,645 --> 00:01:23,146 and dress him like a little girl? 36 00:01:23,336 --> 00:01:25,234 You took away Aunt Ginger. 37 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:26,441 Who is Aunt Ginger? 38 00:01:26,483 --> 00:01:28,569 Social Security wants to talk to Ginger, 39 00:01:28,594 --> 00:01:30,654 and he was too lazy to go get the real one. 40 00:01:30,695 --> 00:01:32,364 - She's dead. - No! 41 00:01:32,406 --> 00:01:33,549 Debs, you never met her. 42 00:01:33,573 --> 00:01:35,187 And now I never will. 43 00:01:35,492 --> 00:01:37,202 - I'm in mourning. - When did she die? 44 00:01:37,244 --> 00:01:38,672 Twelve years ago. 45 00:01:39,663 --> 00:01:42,457 You've been cashing her checks. That's a felony. 46 00:01:42,499 --> 00:01:44,194 - What are we gonna do now? - Well... 47 00:01:44,219 --> 00:01:46,044 - I like that one. - Too lucid. 48 00:01:46,086 --> 00:01:47,614 What about her? 49 00:01:47,639 --> 00:01:50,808 Everything is just the way I remember it. 50 00:01:57,437 --> 00:01:59,694 - She was my friend. - Why did you take the boy? 51 00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:01,249 He was crying, and nobody cared. 52 00:02:01,274 --> 00:02:02,710 - So I took him. - How'd you get him out? 53 00:02:02,734 --> 00:02:05,445 I waved a Snickers bar at him. 54 00:02:05,486 --> 00:02:08,448 Dear Lord, thank you for this food that we're about to eat, 55 00:02:08,489 --> 00:02:10,397 and please make my brother Clayton 56 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:12,719 burn in hell for all eternity when the time comes. 57 00:02:12,744 --> 00:02:13,912 Amen. 58 00:02:13,937 --> 00:02:15,313 Amen. 59 00:02:16,873 --> 00:02:20,418 Liam, if you want a Popsicle, show me your hands. 60 00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:22,045 Hands off your package, or no treat! 61 00:02:22,086 --> 00:02:24,172 - I need my own room. - Carl, quit it. 62 00:02:24,213 --> 00:02:26,758 - I'm gonna be a woman soon. - Enough. 63 00:02:26,799 --> 00:02:28,009 I can't be in the same room 64 00:02:28,051 --> 00:02:30,045 where Liam is constantly masturbating. 65 00:02:30,070 --> 00:02:31,988 It's not masturbating if nothing comes out. 66 00:02:32,013 --> 00:02:34,098 Please, let me catch my breath 67 00:02:34,140 --> 00:02:36,100 - Shh. - It's 1:00 a.m. 68 00:02:36,142 --> 00:02:38,019 Is that our Halloween candy? 69 00:02:38,061 --> 00:02:40,412 - Movie night. - We have school in the morning. 70 00:02:40,437 --> 00:02:42,982 - Paranormal Activity 3. - Right? 71 00:02:43,024 --> 00:02:45,539 - My buddy shot this at the AMC. - Okay please 72 00:02:45,564 --> 00:02:48,488 - It's rated R. - For "really fucking scary." 73 00:02:48,529 --> 00:02:49,906 So sit there and learn. 74 00:02:49,947 --> 00:02:51,699 Whoa! 75 00:02:51,741 --> 00:02:53,552 - Get him in the coffin. - Watch your head. 76 00:02:53,576 --> 00:02:55,620 Looks dead. Hey, Carl, more ice. 77 00:02:55,662 --> 00:02:57,211 - Got it. - Sorry for your loss. 78 00:02:57,236 --> 00:03:00,792 It was a shock. 79 00:03:00,833 --> 00:03:02,460 I know you're faking it. Come on! 80 00:03:02,502 --> 00:03:04,587 What's the matter with you? Look at him, he's dead. 81 00:03:04,629 --> 00:03:06,839 - And you'll be going? - Soon as he's in the ground. 82 00:03:08,842 --> 00:03:10,993 We need something to put in the coffin. 83 00:03:12,756 --> 00:03:14,262 Okay. 84 00:03:14,470 --> 00:03:15,804 Ready? 85 00:03:15,939 --> 00:03:17,065 Lift. 86 00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:19,644 Wait, she broke up with you because you're a Gallagher? 87 00:03:19,686 --> 00:03:21,746 Yeah, says we're all crazy. 88 00:03:22,438 --> 00:03:23,582 Fuck that. I'll fucking kill her. 89 00:03:23,606 --> 00:03:24,524 - Are you in? - I'm in. 90 00:03:24,565 --> 00:03:26,109 We can inject the vid into this bread. 91 00:03:26,150 --> 00:03:28,486 Leave it on her front steps. She'll never see it coming. 92 00:03:28,528 --> 00:03:30,065 I don't think that's how that works. 93 00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:31,823 What are you, some kind of doctor? 94 00:03:31,864 --> 00:03:33,246 You're both crazy. 95 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,488 - Tough break. - Fuck you. He said both of us. 96 00:03:36,513 --> 00:03:38,765 - I'm not crazy! - Huh. 97 00:03:43,209 --> 00:03:45,294 Watering the plants. Ha! 98 00:03:45,336 --> 00:03:46,563 I'm done with the flyer. 99 00:03:46,587 --> 00:03:48,423 It's "fundraiser," not "fun razor." 100 00:03:48,464 --> 00:03:50,550 Want to make them think someone's getting cut. 101 00:03:51,426 --> 00:03:52,760 No, no, no, no, no, no. 102 00:03:52,802 --> 00:03:55,241 The bat is for killing, not for taking to school. 103 00:03:55,266 --> 00:03:58,182 Didn't Fiona tell you to stop electrocuting dolls? 104 00:03:58,224 --> 00:04:00,268 They have to pay for their sins. 105 00:04:00,309 --> 00:04:02,079 I want to go to the forest and kill something. 106 00:04:02,103 --> 00:04:04,549 The kids have been making papier-mâché sculptures. 107 00:04:04,574 --> 00:04:06,082 This is Carl's. 108 00:04:06,107 --> 00:04:08,192 A papier-mâché pile of shit. 109 00:04:08,251 --> 00:04:10,720 Who in the hell is raising this degenerate? 110 00:04:10,745 --> 00:04:11,964 You should be coloring me 111 00:04:11,988 --> 00:04:13,406 a thank-you note of gratitude 112 00:04:13,448 --> 00:04:14,800 that the half of you that came from me 113 00:04:14,824 --> 00:04:16,358 wasn't spooged on your mother's neck, 114 00:04:16,383 --> 00:04:18,594 but instead was guided by yours truly 115 00:04:18,619 --> 00:04:21,080 to get up inside of her to start the life of you. 116 00:04:21,122 --> 00:04:23,624 So walk and talk with gratitude, son. 117 00:04:23,666 --> 00:04:25,793 I was just kidding. 118 00:04:27,428 --> 00:04:29,188 - How's your head? - Little dizzy. 119 00:04:29,213 --> 00:04:31,215 You're fine. Go eat some breakfast. 120 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:32,533 Don't set the house on fire. 121 00:04:32,592 --> 00:04:33,899 Just kidding. 122 00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:38,582 Yo, yo, yo, Destructo, that's my toaster! 123 00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:45,700 What? 124 00:04:48,691 --> 00:04:49,894 Oh, shit! 125 00:04:49,919 --> 00:04:50,943 Where'd Carl go? 126 00:04:50,985 --> 00:04:53,654 - Ninja! - Carl, no! 127 00:04:53,679 --> 00:04:55,055 Ah! 128 00:04:56,183 --> 00:04:57,949 - No! - Shit! 129 00:04:58,454 --> 00:05:00,159 Shit, Carl. 130 00:05:00,799 --> 00:05:02,092 That actually kinda worked. 131 00:05:10,588 --> 00:05:13,633 - It's his first offense. - His first criminal offense. 132 00:05:13,658 --> 00:05:16,196 He's got double digit suspensions at school. 133 00:05:16,221 --> 00:05:18,304 If you pick on asshead again, 134 00:05:18,346 --> 00:05:20,515 I'm gonna chew your nuts off with my teeth. 135 00:05:20,556 --> 00:05:22,159 Heard you talking about my little brother Liam 136 00:05:22,184 --> 00:05:25,597 - on the bus this morning. - You mean your retarded brother? 137 00:05:25,622 --> 00:05:27,897 He sent three kids home with concussions, 138 00:05:27,939 --> 00:05:30,942 - two with busted eardrums... - I think you broke my nose. 139 00:05:30,983 --> 00:05:33,027 ... and one with a ruptured testicle. 140 00:05:33,086 --> 00:05:35,171 It was gym. Decided to play kickball. 141 00:05:35,196 --> 00:05:38,074 - What if he shows remorse? - What's that? 142 00:05:38,115 --> 00:05:40,368 - It means you say you're sorry. - I'm not. 143 00:05:40,409 --> 00:05:42,399 Lie. 144 00:05:42,424 --> 00:05:43,883 Shot a duck. 145 00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:46,432 That's no duck. That's a bald eagle. 146 00:05:58,928 --> 00:06:00,638 Ahhhh! 147 00:06:00,663 --> 00:06:03,599 Okay, I guess we are a little crazy. 148 00:06:03,837 --> 00:06:06,587 Yeah, well, can you blame us? Look at our parents. 149 00:06:06,936 --> 00:06:08,104 Monica. 150 00:06:08,129 --> 00:06:09,923 You wanna go shopping? 151 00:06:09,998 --> 00:06:12,458 Oh, pretty girls' day out! 152 00:06:12,483 --> 00:06:14,277 Come on, let's go. Whoa! 153 00:06:14,318 --> 00:06:15,987 I got it. 154 00:06:16,028 --> 00:06:18,906 ...why anyone would go to the zoo sober. 155 00:06:19,322 --> 00:06:21,510 Hey, you having fun back there? 156 00:06:22,891 --> 00:06:24,912 Ah, Debbie. 157 00:06:24,937 --> 00:06:25,775 Hi, honey. 158 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:26,884 Debs, now. 159 00:06:27,123 --> 00:06:29,041 Debs, you wanna come play? 160 00:06:29,083 --> 00:06:30,543 - Yeah. - No. 161 00:06:30,568 --> 00:06:31,902 Monica's gotta go. 162 00:06:31,927 --> 00:06:33,762 She's your mother, Fi. 163 00:06:33,838 --> 00:06:35,256 You only get one. 164 00:06:35,315 --> 00:06:37,859 It's like watching a hurricane head for shore. 165 00:06:37,884 --> 00:06:40,656 - Good morning, sweetheart. - Mom. 166 00:06:41,242 --> 00:06:44,098 - We don't have any money. - Oh, Liam! 167 00:06:44,140 --> 00:06:47,382 Look at you, my little brown bear. 168 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,478 Oh, look how big you are. 169 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,565 - How long is she staying? - Only forever and a day. 170 00:06:53,816 --> 00:06:55,610 I think this must be the place. 171 00:06:55,635 --> 00:06:57,220 Can I get out? It's hot in here. 172 00:06:57,245 --> 00:06:59,330 - No. - Ow! 173 00:06:59,355 --> 00:07:00,356 Frank. 174 00:07:00,448 --> 00:07:01,574 I came to get you out. 175 00:07:01,599 --> 00:07:04,143 I told you, I don't want out. 176 00:07:04,201 --> 00:07:05,703 Stop. 177 00:07:05,745 --> 00:07:07,705 Did you come? 178 00:07:07,747 --> 00:07:08,993 This is Jill. 179 00:07:09,498 --> 00:07:12,259 Jill, this is my husband, Frank. 180 00:07:15,754 --> 00:07:17,005 Oops. 181 00:07:18,629 --> 00:07:20,164 Mom? 182 00:07:21,087 --> 00:07:23,804 Come on, you and me. We can take the new car. 183 00:07:23,846 --> 00:07:25,348 Can't get enough Carl and Mommy time. 184 00:07:25,406 --> 00:07:26,616 Do you need some new clothes? 185 00:07:26,641 --> 00:07:28,184 We could stop at JCPenney. 186 00:07:28,225 --> 00:07:29,328 Hm. I can drive. 187 00:07:29,353 --> 00:07:31,103 No. Do you have a license? 188 00:07:31,145 --> 00:07:33,105 Quick, quick, Carl, switch places. 189 00:07:33,130 --> 00:07:34,924 Come on. 190 00:07:34,949 --> 00:07:36,367 Hi. 191 00:07:36,676 --> 00:07:38,640 You're supposed to be wearing your seatbelt. 192 00:07:39,695 --> 00:07:41,948 Shit, Carl, I shrunk your jersey. 193 00:07:41,989 --> 00:07:44,648 - I thought you were Carl. - This is Little Hank. 194 00:07:44,992 --> 00:07:47,090 - That's your mom? - Hey, handsome. 195 00:07:47,115 --> 00:07:49,372 Made some cookies. They're on the table. 196 00:07:54,877 --> 00:07:58,089 I love you, Debbie! 197 00:07:58,130 --> 00:07:59,298 Yeah, and Frank. 198 00:07:59,323 --> 00:08:01,397 Who was around just enough to fuck us up. 199 00:08:03,287 --> 00:08:04,695 Cancer? 200 00:08:06,389 --> 00:08:08,349 How did I get cancer? 201 00:08:08,408 --> 00:08:10,493 You musta caught it from Grammy, son. 202 00:08:10,816 --> 00:08:13,187 If she had known that she had the contagious kind, 203 00:08:13,229 --> 00:08:14,915 I don't think she would've spent so much time with you 204 00:08:14,940 --> 00:08:16,955 in the basement, cooking meth. 205 00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:18,084 Excuse me. 206 00:08:18,109 --> 00:08:20,361 My grandmother's having an allergy attack, 207 00:08:20,403 --> 00:08:22,071 and I need to buy her some Sudafed, 208 00:08:22,113 --> 00:08:24,865 but I'm under 18, and her driver's license was revoked. 209 00:08:24,907 --> 00:08:26,543 Can you please buy it for her? 210 00:08:27,159 --> 00:08:28,119 You making meth? 211 00:08:28,526 --> 00:08:30,287 Free rock when we're up and running. 212 00:08:31,841 --> 00:08:33,259 Am I going to die? 213 00:08:36,117 --> 00:08:37,327 I hope not. 214 00:08:37,912 --> 00:08:40,339 But right now, we have to fight 215 00:08:40,364 --> 00:08:41,975 and fight hard. 216 00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:45,845 You ready to fight with me, Carl? 217 00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:50,057 Why do we have to shave it? 218 00:08:50,099 --> 00:08:52,309 Didn't you ever see any shows about cancer? 219 00:08:52,334 --> 00:08:54,279 Cancer people are always bald. 220 00:08:59,150 --> 00:09:02,115 Jeez, I'm gonna look like a penis. 221 00:09:03,849 --> 00:09:05,614 I'll get you a hat. 222 00:09:05,656 --> 00:09:07,783 I'll get you a hat. 223 00:09:11,136 --> 00:09:13,305 This is nice, the two of us just hanging out, 224 00:09:13,330 --> 00:09:14,457 getting to know each other. 225 00:09:14,482 --> 00:09:15,942 We should do this more often. 226 00:09:15,967 --> 00:09:17,935 Wanna snort the next batch? 227 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:18,836 No. 228 00:09:18,878 --> 00:09:20,993 My foster gays have a lot of nice stuff. 229 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:23,841 Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting? 230 00:09:23,866 --> 00:09:24,992 IPods, computers. 231 00:09:25,051 --> 00:09:26,653 - How often they there? - They work weekends. 232 00:09:26,678 --> 00:09:29,097 - Can you pick a lock? - I have their security code. 233 00:09:33,059 --> 00:09:34,018 That's all right. 234 00:09:34,060 --> 00:09:35,749 Are you good with fractions? 235 00:09:35,905 --> 00:09:37,021 Fractions of what? 236 00:09:37,063 --> 00:09:39,023 Like, if you have 1/16 of an ounce of something, 237 00:09:39,065 --> 00:09:40,624 how many grams would that be? 238 00:09:41,131 --> 00:09:43,360 - Are you dealing drugs? - No. 239 00:09:43,402 --> 00:09:44,612 Basic overview. 240 00:09:44,748 --> 00:09:48,741 You got flaps, half G's, G's, teeners, 8-balls, and ounces. 241 00:09:48,783 --> 00:09:51,942 An ounce is 28 grams, an 8-ball is 3.54, 242 00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:55,581 and a teener is 1.77, but the dealers round down. 243 00:09:55,623 --> 00:09:58,501 So they pocket the extra .35. You following? 244 00:09:58,542 --> 00:09:59,919 I might need to write this down. 245 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,504 - Frank. - Yes, son? 246 00:10:01,545 --> 00:10:04,901 Why would a dude put his penis in another dude's mouth? 247 00:10:05,091 --> 00:10:07,759 Sometimes men discover things about themselves, 248 00:10:07,784 --> 00:10:11,472 like they prefer male genitalia to female genitalia. 249 00:10:11,514 --> 00:10:14,141 So some guys like to lick wieners? 250 00:10:14,183 --> 00:10:16,268 Well, I'm sure at first they're attracted 251 00:10:16,293 --> 00:10:17,795 to each other's build, 252 00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:19,872 and once a connection gets made, 253 00:10:19,897 --> 00:10:21,941 then the wieners get licked. 254 00:10:21,966 --> 00:10:23,176 What are you doing? 255 00:10:23,201 --> 00:10:25,903 Making a little easy summer moolah, the Gallagher way. 256 00:10:25,945 --> 00:10:27,696 - Where's Liam? - In the car. 257 00:10:27,721 --> 00:10:28,773 Did you crack a window? 258 00:10:28,798 --> 00:10:31,175 Left the engine running for the AC. 259 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,744 You left a toddler in a running car 260 00:10:33,769 --> 00:10:35,604 in this neighborhood? 261 00:10:35,663 --> 00:10:37,846 Stay. Stay down. 262 00:10:38,999 --> 00:10:40,973 Stay down! 263 00:10:43,921 --> 00:10:46,257 What about Fiona? She wasn't so bad. 264 00:10:46,282 --> 00:10:47,575 Who? 265 00:10:49,176 --> 00:10:50,719 Oh! 266 00:10:50,761 --> 00:10:53,514 - Yeah! - Come on, give me that arm. 267 00:10:53,556 --> 00:10:55,474 Liam's breaking it down. 268 00:10:55,516 --> 00:10:57,268 Must be nice not to own a home 269 00:10:57,309 --> 00:10:58,644 and have to deal with this stuff. 270 00:10:58,669 --> 00:11:01,171 Yeah, it gives me more time to buy drugs 271 00:11:01,230 --> 00:11:02,523 and fence stolen goods. 272 00:11:02,565 --> 00:11:04,167 Is something burning? You smell that? 273 00:11:04,191 --> 00:11:05,651 Oh, shit. Shit! 274 00:11:05,693 --> 00:11:07,069 Shit! 275 00:11:07,111 --> 00:11:09,822 Fuck, burn the house down. 276 00:11:09,847 --> 00:11:11,306 Okay, burn the food, too. 277 00:11:11,331 --> 00:11:12,800 I'm going through something here. 278 00:11:12,825 --> 00:11:13,969 Yeah, looks like you went through 279 00:11:13,993 --> 00:11:16,137 about five beverages in an hour, Fiona. 280 00:11:16,162 --> 00:11:17,288 Have another one. 281 00:11:17,329 --> 00:11:19,665 Hey, Hector, is there any way that you could... 282 00:11:19,707 --> 00:11:20,708 I can't this time, Fiona. 283 00:11:20,749 --> 00:11:22,232 It's not the first time we got shut off. 284 00:11:22,543 --> 00:11:24,378 - Won't be the last. - Is there any way that you could 285 00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:26,310 - scrape the money together today? - We have it. 286 00:11:26,335 --> 00:11:28,463 She just forgot to pay it. 287 00:11:31,886 --> 00:11:33,721 Fiona! 288 00:11:33,762 --> 00:11:35,169 Fiona! 289 00:11:35,514 --> 00:11:37,224 - Oh, shit. - What's on his face? 290 00:11:37,266 --> 00:11:38,326 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 291 00:11:38,350 --> 00:11:39,935 - Step back. - Oh, my God. 292 00:11:39,977 --> 00:11:40,978 Oh, my God. 293 00:11:41,003 --> 00:11:43,289 Ow! Ow! Get off me! 294 00:11:43,314 --> 00:11:45,524 - You are going to that clinic! - You're hurting me! 295 00:11:45,566 --> 00:11:46,775 - Ow! - Stop it! 296 00:11:46,817 --> 00:11:49,904 Help, my sister's trying to force me to get an abortion! 297 00:11:49,945 --> 00:11:51,447 Fiona! 298 00:11:51,488 --> 00:11:52,323 Get off her! 299 00:11:52,364 --> 00:11:56,118 No, we are going to that fucking clinic! 300 00:11:58,477 --> 00:11:59,869 Fucking Gallaghers. 301 00:12:01,824 --> 00:12:03,534 We never stood a chance. 302 00:12:03,604 --> 00:12:06,266 Jeez, no wonder why Liam's so bummed out. 303 00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:07,713 You're the one saying we're crazy. 304 00:12:07,755 --> 00:12:08,881 Why are you coming at me? 305 00:12:11,675 --> 00:12:14,345 I will stab you until you bleed to death 306 00:12:14,386 --> 00:12:15,346 if you don't quit it out. 307 00:12:15,387 --> 00:12:17,473 We gotta empty the pool out, Conrad. 308 00:12:17,514 --> 00:12:18,742 You guys gotta get out of here. 309 00:12:18,766 --> 00:12:21,219 Go screw this end of the hose into Tony's spigot 310 00:12:21,244 --> 00:12:22,536 so we can siphon the water out. 311 00:12:22,561 --> 00:12:24,039 Or we could just do it this way. 312 00:12:24,742 --> 00:12:26,244 Carl! 313 00:12:26,357 --> 00:12:28,025 I'll patch it up next summer. 314 00:12:28,084 --> 00:12:29,543 See ya. 315 00:12:29,568 --> 00:12:31,904 Good luck getting laid smelling like fried dough all day. 316 00:12:31,946 --> 00:12:33,864 You always smell like that. What's your excuse? 317 00:12:33,906 --> 00:12:35,783 Bitches and hormones. 318 00:12:35,824 --> 00:12:37,534 Ha. 319 00:12:38,535 --> 00:12:39,995 Ew, don't learn from him, Liam. 320 00:12:40,037 --> 00:12:41,298 He's disgusting. 321 00:12:41,956 --> 00:12:43,165 What's this? 322 00:12:43,207 --> 00:12:44,416 Creepy art she's making 323 00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:45,644 'cause her boyfriend dumped her. 324 00:12:45,668 --> 00:12:47,419 I'm expressing myself creatively. 325 00:12:47,461 --> 00:12:49,296 You're counting underarm hair with a mirror. 326 00:12:49,338 --> 00:12:50,547 Check it out, four new ones. 327 00:12:50,589 --> 00:12:51,757 Get off of me! 328 00:12:51,799 --> 00:12:52,817 Who are you texting, Debs? 329 00:12:52,841 --> 00:12:54,927 - Her boyfriend. - Shut up, Carl. 330 00:12:54,969 --> 00:12:58,555 - Why do guys care so much about sex? - Because it feels awesome. 331 00:12:58,604 --> 00:12:59,563 Like you would know. 332 00:12:59,598 --> 00:13:01,600 If my hand is anything like the real thing, 333 00:13:01,642 --> 00:13:02,768 it's off the chain. 334 00:13:02,810 --> 00:13:03,769 Shut up, zit head. 335 00:13:03,811 --> 00:13:06,654 - At least I got zits, no-pubes girl. - Okay, enough. 336 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:08,691 I plan to bang as many chicks as I can 337 00:13:08,732 --> 00:13:10,734 and get so good at it they even pay me to do it. 338 00:13:10,759 --> 00:13:13,162 Ha, yeah right. You're in a wheelchair. 339 00:13:13,187 --> 00:13:14,613 Chicks dig wheelchairs. 340 00:13:14,655 --> 00:13:17,032 I swear to God, if you lose your virginity before I do, 341 00:13:17,074 --> 00:13:18,966 I'll stab you to death in your sleep. 342 00:13:21,309 --> 00:13:22,769 We should go talk to him. 343 00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:25,661 You don't tell me to go. I tell you to go. 344 00:13:25,759 --> 00:13:27,240 Let's go. 345 00:13:31,513 --> 00:13:34,425 Liam, you don't need a COVID girlfriend. 346 00:13:34,466 --> 00:13:36,135 You don't even need a girlfriend. 347 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,162 They're complicated. 348 00:13:39,154 --> 00:13:40,698 Shit. 349 00:13:40,723 --> 00:13:41,932 Gallagher! 350 00:13:41,974 --> 00:13:44,476 What are you doing here? 351 00:13:44,518 --> 00:13:46,478 Let me go. 352 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,443 - Are you law enforcement? - Friend. 353 00:13:48,505 --> 00:13:49,881 Let me go, Kelly. 354 00:13:49,906 --> 00:13:51,449 Oh, you're Kelly? 355 00:13:54,157 --> 00:13:56,118 Now that's a woman. 356 00:13:56,146 --> 00:13:57,323 So what do you wanna do? 357 00:13:57,364 --> 00:13:59,074 I can get my hands on some firecrackers. 358 00:13:59,133 --> 00:14:00,551 - Cool. - It's fake. 359 00:14:00,576 --> 00:14:02,277 - Looks real! - Empty the register! 360 00:14:02,302 --> 00:14:04,346 Yeah, I'm just gonna hand over my money 361 00:14:04,371 --> 00:14:06,081 to the Lollipop Guild. 362 00:14:06,123 --> 00:14:07,833 Whoa, shit! 363 00:14:07,858 --> 00:14:09,234 You said it was fake! 364 00:14:09,259 --> 00:14:11,469 Hey, what's shaking, cupcake? 365 00:14:11,494 --> 00:14:13,413 Ew, what's that stink? 366 00:14:13,622 --> 00:14:15,549 Smells like animal butt and fireplace. 367 00:14:15,591 --> 00:14:16,967 Hey girl, I'm Carl. 368 00:14:17,009 --> 00:14:19,386 I'll just call you my angel. 369 00:14:19,428 --> 00:14:21,430 That, ladies? That's the smell of a real man. 370 00:14:21,455 --> 00:14:23,396 I always got room for my number one boo thang. 371 00:14:23,421 --> 00:14:25,201 Do you have a straight-up brain injury? 372 00:14:25,225 --> 00:14:26,521 You can ride my joint if you want. 373 00:14:26,546 --> 00:14:28,622 Go away, Muppet. 374 00:14:28,647 --> 00:14:30,274 But I'm a cripple. 375 00:14:37,033 --> 00:14:39,156 Grab those cupcakes and get chocolate milk. 376 00:14:39,198 --> 00:14:41,400 - How many cartons? - As much as you can carry. 377 00:14:42,576 --> 00:14:45,822 - You're fun, you know that? - Yeah, you too. 378 00:14:48,814 --> 00:14:52,197 You're an officer and a gentleman, Carl Gallagher. 379 00:14:52,711 --> 00:14:55,005 Only decent thing is your brother. 380 00:14:55,047 --> 00:14:58,603 - Next. - We call him Carl-lingus. 381 00:14:58,884 --> 00:15:00,969 I'm going back for seconds. 382 00:15:01,011 --> 00:15:03,472 - Are you a virgin? - Hell no. 383 00:15:03,497 --> 00:15:04,915 - I am. - Yeah, me too. 384 00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:07,860 I was thinking maybe you and me... 385 00:15:07,935 --> 00:15:10,396 - 48 condoms? - In 32 hours. 386 00:15:10,437 --> 00:15:11,939 You up for the challenge, Gallagher? 387 00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:15,109 - Uh, yeah. - Then prove it, pussy. 388 00:15:15,134 --> 00:15:17,213 - 30 seconds or less? - No problem. 389 00:15:18,468 --> 00:15:20,095 What the hell? 390 00:15:20,256 --> 00:15:22,216 How stupid do you think I am, Carl? 391 00:15:22,241 --> 00:15:24,041 No, no! 392 00:15:24,576 --> 00:15:27,121 You lying piece of shit! 393 00:15:27,146 --> 00:15:28,439 Ow, ow, ow. 394 00:15:28,497 --> 00:15:30,541 Getting your ass kicked by a girl again, Carl? 395 00:15:30,566 --> 00:15:32,299 - Is Dom here? - Nope. 396 00:15:32,793 --> 00:15:33,794 Wh... she's right there. 397 00:15:33,836 --> 00:15:35,063 Dad found out that I was skipping 398 00:15:35,087 --> 00:15:36,505 softball camp to hang out with you. 399 00:15:36,530 --> 00:15:38,031 He'll kill you if he finds you here. 400 00:15:38,056 --> 00:15:39,724 He only has one working limb. 401 00:15:39,749 --> 00:15:41,353 That doesn't scare me. 402 00:15:42,471 --> 00:15:44,890 I'ma give you a ten-second head start. 403 00:15:44,915 --> 00:15:46,208 You better run, boy. 404 00:15:46,233 --> 00:15:48,027 Go! Ten, nine... 405 00:15:48,052 --> 00:15:49,743 I won't stop seeing you! 406 00:15:49,768 --> 00:15:51,478 - Dom, I won't stop seeing you! - Eight. 407 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:52,479 I always go down on you, 408 00:15:52,521 --> 00:15:53,981 but you don't ever go down on me. 409 00:15:54,022 --> 00:15:55,899 Your thing has all this extra skin, 410 00:15:55,941 --> 00:15:56,960 and it kinda freaks me out. 411 00:15:56,984 --> 00:15:58,485 I can do it, but I don't recommend it. 412 00:15:58,527 --> 00:16:00,320 I'd suggest you find another girl. 413 00:16:00,345 --> 00:16:01,364 I don't want another girl. 414 00:16:01,389 --> 00:16:03,463 I cut the tip of my dick off for you. 415 00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:04,908 Carl, meet shithead. 416 00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:06,535 Carl, the dude who trimmed his dick? 417 00:16:06,822 --> 00:16:08,787 - You're not circumcised? - Hell no. 418 00:16:08,829 --> 00:16:10,049 I don't mind it anymore. 419 00:16:10,074 --> 00:16:12,708 You know she's got gonorrhea, right? 420 00:16:12,749 --> 00:16:14,585 No one is ever gonna love you 421 00:16:14,626 --> 00:16:16,670 as hard as I do, Carl Gallagher, no one. 422 00:16:16,695 --> 00:16:19,022 - Is that your blood? - Yeah, it's your blood now. 423 00:16:19,047 --> 00:16:21,341 You possess me, and vice versa. 424 00:16:21,366 --> 00:16:23,326 Here, come here. 425 00:16:23,351 --> 00:16:25,270 I'll try not to nick an artery. 426 00:16:25,295 --> 00:16:27,111 Kas, where you at? 427 00:16:29,892 --> 00:16:32,524 Kas. 428 00:16:36,023 --> 00:16:37,482 You really do love me. 429 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,469 I will never be okay with being away from you, bae! 430 00:16:42,494 --> 00:16:43,727 Never! 431 00:16:46,629 --> 00:16:47,922 Carl! 432 00:16:48,003 --> 00:16:49,880 Carl, get off the bus! 433 00:16:50,078 --> 00:16:51,497 Get off the bus, Carl! 434 00:16:51,538 --> 00:16:54,204 Carl! Carl, come back! 435 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:56,084 I love you! 436 00:16:56,126 --> 00:16:58,782 Only two more days until the end of school. 437 00:16:58,807 --> 00:17:01,298 Mrs. Gallagher's waiting for you. 438 00:17:01,719 --> 00:17:03,734 I'm doing my Kegels. 439 00:17:03,759 --> 00:17:05,177 I love you! 440 00:17:05,219 --> 00:17:06,637 She's still at it. 441 00:17:06,678 --> 00:17:08,013 Carl, Carl, he's my man! 442 00:17:08,055 --> 00:17:10,516 If he can't fuck me, no one can! 443 00:17:10,541 --> 00:17:11,992 What are you doing? 444 00:17:12,017 --> 00:17:14,186 My friend Janice said this is what you do 445 00:17:14,211 --> 00:17:15,295 when a condom breaks. 446 00:17:15,354 --> 00:17:18,587 Plan B, aisle two. Monistat, aisle three. 447 00:17:19,587 --> 00:17:21,672 So are you done being a pussy 448 00:17:21,777 --> 00:17:24,501 and ready to get back to being the man that I love? 449 00:17:24,881 --> 00:17:26,591 What? 450 00:17:27,024 --> 00:17:28,342 Damn, you're dense. 451 00:17:28,367 --> 00:17:31,079 Carl Francis Hashish Gallagher. 452 00:17:31,955 --> 00:17:33,985 Yo, Gallagher! 453 00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:36,893 You're a disgrace, Gallagher. I never want to see your face again, 454 00:17:36,918 --> 00:17:39,629 not on my campus and not ever in my army. 455 00:17:39,654 --> 00:17:41,672 Yeah, baby! Yeah! 456 00:17:43,266 --> 00:17:44,976 Carl, let's go. 457 00:17:45,175 --> 00:17:48,554 Fuck the tent. We're having sex in my room. 458 00:17:52,346 --> 00:17:53,788 Carl! 459 00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:57,017 I better go. 460 00:17:57,749 --> 00:17:59,366 Yeah, I guess you better. 461 00:17:59,565 --> 00:18:01,858 If she's not gonna date you because of your last name, 462 00:18:01,883 --> 00:18:03,593 just find someone else who will. 463 00:18:03,618 --> 00:18:05,022 I don't want just someone. 464 00:18:05,047 --> 00:18:06,798 Yeah, well, you don't wanna be lonely. 465 00:18:06,822 --> 00:18:08,532 Just find someone who makes you laugh. 466 00:18:08,591 --> 00:18:10,742 - Or who's easy. - No. 467 00:18:10,784 --> 00:18:13,787 Find someone who appreciates you for you. 468 00:18:13,829 --> 00:18:15,706 I mean, I've been in, like, ten relationships, 469 00:18:15,747 --> 00:18:17,244 and they've all been with wonderful people. 470 00:18:18,542 --> 00:18:22,546 - Does this make you... cray? - Uh-um... 471 00:18:22,588 --> 00:18:23,982 I really like him, and I think it's time 472 00:18:24,006 --> 00:18:25,465 we take it to the next level. 473 00:18:25,507 --> 00:18:26,967 Mm, how old are you now? 474 00:18:27,009 --> 00:18:27,801 Thirteen. 475 00:18:27,843 --> 00:18:29,177 What took you so long? 476 00:18:29,219 --> 00:18:30,929 Ha, this is why I came to you. 477 00:18:30,971 --> 00:18:34,474 - Little Hank? What does he like? - I don't know, stuff. Why? 478 00:18:34,516 --> 00:18:35,684 He doesn't even notice me. 479 00:18:35,726 --> 00:18:37,370 Are you sure you're sending strong enough signals? 480 00:18:37,394 --> 00:18:38,270 I've tried. 481 00:18:38,312 --> 00:18:40,063 - Hi. - Hi. 482 00:18:40,088 --> 00:18:41,464 Guys are pretty dumb. 483 00:18:41,489 --> 00:18:43,500 Sometimes you have to put something shiny in the window 484 00:18:43,525 --> 00:18:44,443 to get 'em in the store. 485 00:18:44,484 --> 00:18:45,360 What are you doing? 486 00:18:45,402 --> 00:18:46,903 I'm sending stronger signals. 487 00:18:46,945 --> 00:18:48,947 - There. - This will get his attention. 488 00:18:48,989 --> 00:18:50,282 Who's your friend? 489 00:18:50,324 --> 00:18:51,742 Think I may become a nun. 490 00:18:51,767 --> 00:18:53,644 Nuns don't have sex, right? 491 00:18:53,669 --> 00:18:55,203 You look too pretty to be a nun. 492 00:18:57,168 --> 00:18:58,682 What do you actually do? 493 00:18:58,707 --> 00:18:59,958 I mean, I've seen porn, 494 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,953 but I'm not sure I understand all the technicalities. 495 00:19:01,978 --> 00:19:03,752 Show me your seductions face. 496 00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,602 What are you doing wearing my top? 497 00:19:05,963 --> 00:19:07,758 Pheromones. I'm borrowing them. 498 00:19:07,799 --> 00:19:08,634 Pheromones? 499 00:19:08,675 --> 00:19:10,469 It's the thing boys like about you. 500 00:19:10,510 --> 00:19:12,304 - You mean tits? - Holy shit. 501 00:19:12,346 --> 00:19:14,139 He is man. You try seductions face. 502 00:19:14,164 --> 00:19:15,624 What the hell are you doing? 503 00:19:15,649 --> 00:19:17,159 Five minutes ago, you were a baby. 504 00:19:17,184 --> 00:19:18,560 But she looks good, yes? 505 00:19:18,602 --> 00:19:20,190 Agh! I'm not answering that. 506 00:19:20,215 --> 00:19:21,424 This means yes. 507 00:19:24,503 --> 00:19:25,984 - Where are you going? - Out. 508 00:19:26,026 --> 00:19:27,417 Are those my boots? 509 00:19:30,198 --> 00:19:31,448 Are you okay? 510 00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:34,370 No, I gotta lie down. 511 00:19:34,493 --> 00:19:36,065 Matty accused me of raping him. 512 00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:37,290 - What? - I know! 513 00:19:37,315 --> 00:19:38,330 You date raped me. 514 00:19:38,372 --> 00:19:39,456 We were on a date? 515 00:19:39,498 --> 00:19:42,376 No, Debbie, you statutory raped yourself. 516 00:19:42,417 --> 00:19:45,003 He was drunk, but his thing wasn't. 517 00:19:45,028 --> 00:19:47,464 - I don't understand. - Friends don't rape friends. 518 00:19:47,489 --> 00:19:49,949 Listen, Debs, a million guys would kill 519 00:19:49,974 --> 00:19:51,406 to be raped by you. 520 00:19:51,431 --> 00:19:54,137 Ugh, would you shut up already? 521 00:19:54,971 --> 00:19:57,224 - This is my house. - Okay. 522 00:19:57,265 --> 00:19:58,767 She's putting all that skank makeup on 523 00:19:58,809 --> 00:20:00,620 to get out of the friend zone with that Derek dude. 524 00:20:00,645 --> 00:20:01,938 We're not in the friend zone. 525 00:20:01,963 --> 00:20:03,215 - Talk to you later? - Yeah. 526 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,767 If he punches your arm, it means you guys are friends. 527 00:20:05,792 --> 00:20:08,610 What the hell is going on? I don't want you as my friend. 528 00:20:08,635 --> 00:20:10,136 I want you as my boyfriend. 529 00:20:10,161 --> 00:20:12,372 Look at me, I'm nice, funny, smart, 530 00:20:12,397 --> 00:20:13,940 and I'd fuck up anyone that hurts you. 531 00:20:13,965 --> 00:20:15,801 I'm sick of having to change who I am 532 00:20:15,826 --> 00:20:16,952 or wait till I'm older. 533 00:20:16,993 --> 00:20:18,161 I'd be a great girlfriend, 534 00:20:18,203 --> 00:20:20,341 and if you can't see that, screw you! 535 00:20:21,447 --> 00:20:23,116 - I like you too. - You do? 536 00:20:23,141 --> 00:20:27,200 I am a woman! 537 00:20:27,646 --> 00:20:29,089 - Debbie. - Larry? 538 00:20:29,131 --> 00:20:30,507 - I'm here with Scarlet. - Hi. 539 00:20:30,549 --> 00:20:32,843 - Both of us are pregnant. - I'm into pregnant girls. 540 00:20:32,884 --> 00:20:34,344 You are my only seven-monther. 541 00:20:34,386 --> 00:20:35,664 Oh, my God. 542 00:20:36,555 --> 00:20:37,681 - Whoa! - Oh! 543 00:20:37,723 --> 00:20:38,807 Oh, I'm sorry. 544 00:20:38,849 --> 00:20:40,076 So let me get this straight. 545 00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,143 You have your own place, 546 00:20:41,168 --> 00:20:43,087 your own money, and nobody to take care of you. 547 00:20:43,162 --> 00:20:44,788 Excuse me, are you lactating? 548 00:20:44,813 --> 00:20:46,690 He can't help it. He has brain damage. 549 00:20:46,732 --> 00:20:48,167 Ah, your breath smells like Pop-Tarts. 550 00:20:48,191 --> 00:20:50,402 You have a good ass; it makes up for your small tits. 551 00:20:50,427 --> 00:20:51,798 - Cute baby. - No, it's not. 552 00:20:51,823 --> 00:20:53,087 I love you, Debbie. 553 00:20:55,699 --> 00:20:57,587 - I love you too. - Yeah? 554 00:21:00,579 --> 00:21:02,456 Fuck yeah! 555 00:21:02,497 --> 00:21:04,708 Neil, what is it? 556 00:21:04,733 --> 00:21:06,776 Can you come home and give me a sponge bath? 557 00:21:06,801 --> 00:21:08,219 - No. - I'll do it. 558 00:21:08,312 --> 00:21:09,229 Hey, guys. 559 00:21:09,254 --> 00:21:11,089 Came home early to spend some quality time. 560 00:21:11,131 --> 00:21:12,924 - Um... - It's over, Debbie. 561 00:21:12,966 --> 00:21:15,427 I'm in love with my nurse, and you're a horrible person. 562 00:21:16,979 --> 00:21:18,813 - Hey. - Hey. 563 00:21:20,890 --> 00:21:22,267 I think I might be gay. 564 00:21:22,309 --> 00:21:23,703 Have you had sex with another woman? 565 00:21:23,727 --> 00:21:25,687 I did once, a woman I was babysitting for. 566 00:21:25,729 --> 00:21:26,605 Oh, Debbie. 567 00:21:26,646 --> 00:21:28,398 Carl, hey. Um, I need some help. 568 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:29,733 Got any tips on gay sex? 569 00:21:29,775 --> 00:21:31,485 Do the shocker. I'll text you a pic. 570 00:21:31,526 --> 00:21:33,361 No, no, no, Debbie. Oh... ah! 571 00:21:33,403 --> 00:21:35,506 Oh-oh! Deb-Debbie. Oh, my God, you're so cute. 572 00:21:35,530 --> 00:21:36,799 Have you been with a girl since? 573 00:21:36,823 --> 00:21:38,700 Yep, I just made out with one in a bathroom. 574 00:21:38,725 --> 00:21:39,684 Well, that's a start. 575 00:21:39,709 --> 00:21:41,294 I don't like talking about my feelings. 576 00:21:41,319 --> 00:21:44,790 It's called lesbianism, Debbie. It's what we do. 577 00:21:44,831 --> 00:21:46,833 I thought sex with women is what lesbians do. 578 00:21:46,858 --> 00:21:48,836 Yeah, and you're bad at that too. 579 00:21:50,545 --> 00:21:52,756 How did you guys know that you were lesbians? 580 00:21:52,798 --> 00:21:54,382 You either like girls or you don't. 581 00:21:54,407 --> 00:21:55,668 - I thought I did. - Look at me. 582 00:21:55,693 --> 00:21:56,694 Oh, here we go. 583 00:22:06,019 --> 00:22:07,606 You like that? 584 00:22:08,664 --> 00:22:10,707 That's all the lesbian you need to be. 585 00:22:10,732 --> 00:22:13,527 I met this awesome woman last night at a hotel bar. 586 00:22:13,552 --> 00:22:15,660 She's older than me, but not in a rapey way. 587 00:22:15,685 --> 00:22:16,997 What are you here for? 588 00:22:17,072 --> 00:22:20,871 I was hoping to have a good conversation with a nice woman. 589 00:22:21,489 --> 00:22:23,245 Looks like I hit the jackpot. 590 00:22:23,286 --> 00:22:26,057 She's got this beautiful smile and these bright eyes, 591 00:22:26,082 --> 00:22:28,583 and these sexy little Lisa Loeb glasses. 592 00:22:28,625 --> 00:22:29,835 - Debs. - So anyways, 593 00:22:29,860 --> 00:22:31,987 we spent the night together last night, 594 00:22:32,012 --> 00:22:33,348 and then she gave me this. 595 00:22:34,575 --> 00:22:35,549 Holy shit. 596 00:22:35,590 --> 00:22:37,509 - Did you find it? - Yeah! 597 00:22:37,551 --> 00:22:39,340 - She thinks you're a prostitute. - What? 598 00:22:39,365 --> 00:22:41,322 Can you pick Julia up after school? 599 00:22:41,346 --> 00:22:42,597 - Julia? - My kid. 600 00:22:42,639 --> 00:22:44,140 Did I not tell you about her? 601 00:22:44,182 --> 00:22:46,434 You've really drunk my mom's Kool-Aid, haven't you? 602 00:22:46,459 --> 00:22:49,079 Is that a sex thing? 'Cause probably. 603 00:22:49,104 --> 00:22:51,481 You're doing the mom and the daughter? 604 00:22:51,523 --> 00:22:53,775 - That's hot. - It's going south fast. 605 00:22:53,817 --> 00:22:55,151 So Debbie and I are fucking. 606 00:22:55,193 --> 00:22:56,653 Excuse me? 607 00:22:56,678 --> 00:22:58,179 No screens for a week. 608 00:22:58,238 --> 00:23:00,007 We have an arrest warrant for Deborah Gallagher. 609 00:23:00,031 --> 00:23:01,366 No shit. What for? 610 00:23:01,408 --> 00:23:04,356 Statutory rape of a minor, Julia Nicolo. 611 00:23:04,619 --> 00:23:07,207 - Fuck. - We got a runner! 612 00:23:08,039 --> 00:23:10,584 - What's going on? - When's your 18th birthday? 613 00:23:10,609 --> 00:23:12,820 Stop! Police! 614 00:23:13,812 --> 00:23:16,653 I can kinda understand why Sasha wouldn't wanna be with me. 615 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,009 Sorry, buddy, it's the family you were born into. 616 00:23:19,034 --> 00:23:20,661 Just gotta embrace it. 617 00:23:20,719 --> 00:23:24,897 Why am I the only one in the family that has black skin? 618 00:23:24,922 --> 00:23:27,183 Liam, ah! 619 00:23:27,225 --> 00:23:29,352 It has something to do with Monica's granddad, 620 00:23:29,394 --> 00:23:32,130 although we never really got a straight answer. 621 00:23:32,155 --> 00:23:34,399 Hey, Frank, do you know who banged a Black person 622 00:23:34,441 --> 00:23:35,483 in our family lineage? 623 00:23:35,525 --> 00:23:37,277 This is your great-great aunt. 624 00:23:37,319 --> 00:23:40,447 Someone from your mother's grandfather's side 625 00:23:40,488 --> 00:23:42,240 of the family had a mistress. 626 00:23:42,265 --> 00:23:44,350 Twice removed on your third cousin's... 627 00:23:44,409 --> 00:23:46,745 Well, look, I'm not exactly sure what the genealogy is. 628 00:23:46,770 --> 00:23:48,889 - And she was Black? - She is Black. 629 00:23:48,914 --> 00:23:51,416 - Is she still alive? - Lives down the street. 630 00:23:51,689 --> 00:23:53,209 Why didn't you tell me? 631 00:23:53,251 --> 00:23:54,806 Get away from the house, Frank. 632 00:23:54,831 --> 00:23:56,220 You know the rules. 633 00:23:58,448 --> 00:23:59,490 That's why, son. 634 00:23:59,515 --> 00:24:01,142 What's going on? 635 00:24:01,167 --> 00:24:03,003 Trying to figure out who I am. 636 00:24:03,028 --> 00:24:04,363 What's my identity. 637 00:24:04,388 --> 00:24:06,156 Dr. King, Dr. Dre? 638 00:24:06,181 --> 00:24:08,224 Maybe you should set your sights lower, 639 00:24:08,266 --> 00:24:10,018 you know, like Tyga, Nelly, 640 00:24:10,043 --> 00:24:11,753 or maybe one of the Wayans brothers, 641 00:24:11,778 --> 00:24:12,863 or Lester Holt. 642 00:24:28,828 --> 00:24:30,413 I just want to know who I am. 643 00:24:30,455 --> 00:24:32,040 You're a Gallagher, same as me. 644 00:24:32,082 --> 00:24:33,375 You just gotta embrace it. 645 00:24:33,416 --> 00:24:36,044 I hate to agree with Debbie, but she's right. 646 00:24:36,086 --> 00:24:38,505 Uh, sorry, one more time for the people in the back. 647 00:24:38,530 --> 00:24:40,353 Just be a Gallagher. 648 00:24:42,258 --> 00:24:43,728 Be a Gallagher. 649 00:24:46,157 --> 00:24:47,860 Get everything you can. 650 00:24:48,665 --> 00:24:51,685 Raggedy looking stuff. These are great. 651 00:24:53,770 --> 00:24:56,314 Don't let the death of an orphaned African child 652 00:24:56,356 --> 00:24:59,267 be on your conscience this holiday season. 653 00:24:59,292 --> 00:25:00,794 He has AIDS. 654 00:25:00,819 --> 00:25:02,782 Please, give money. 655 00:25:03,780 --> 00:25:05,007 Keep shivering, that's really great. 656 00:25:05,031 --> 00:25:07,407 - Here, that's all I got, man. - God bless you. 657 00:25:07,822 --> 00:25:09,115 Jesus loves you. 658 00:25:09,140 --> 00:25:11,225 Fuck you, Frank. 659 00:25:11,371 --> 00:25:12,831 Do your thing, hey 660 00:25:12,872 --> 00:25:14,332 Baby, just a taste. 661 00:25:21,214 --> 00:25:24,300 It's not working. I'm sorry, man. 662 00:25:24,325 --> 00:25:25,576 Fucking meds. 663 00:25:25,635 --> 00:25:28,972 Could also be the toddler staring at us from the corner. 664 00:25:29,889 --> 00:25:31,757 Can you take Liam to Head Start on your way? 665 00:25:31,782 --> 00:25:33,727 Like I've done every day for the last four months? 666 00:25:33,923 --> 00:25:35,453 Yes, I think I can handle that. 667 00:25:35,478 --> 00:25:36,855 Come on, Liam! 668 00:25:38,657 --> 00:25:41,776 No, no, no. No weapons in juvie. 669 00:25:41,801 --> 00:25:42,802 Where's Debbie? 670 00:25:42,861 --> 00:25:45,235 Said something about going out to buy drugs. 671 00:25:45,260 --> 00:25:46,614 You couldn't stop her? 672 00:25:46,656 --> 00:25:49,124 - I'm injured. - Boom, boom, boom. 673 00:25:49,149 --> 00:25:51,351 That's right, my little eggplant. 674 00:25:51,376 --> 00:25:53,204 Boom, boom, boom. 675 00:25:53,246 --> 00:25:55,457 - Aw, fuck. - What? 676 00:25:55,498 --> 00:25:56,791 She's dead. 677 00:25:56,833 --> 00:25:58,626 Isn't it past his bedtime? 678 00:25:58,668 --> 00:26:01,004 - Liam, no, don't look! - Little late for that. 679 00:26:01,046 --> 00:26:03,590 Look, put the kid to bed, come back, we'll deal with this. 680 00:26:03,631 --> 00:26:05,914 Come on, Debbie, go. 681 00:26:05,990 --> 00:26:07,158 Night, buddy. 682 00:26:07,559 --> 00:26:10,729 That girl Stella in there is trying to hook up with me. 683 00:26:10,754 --> 00:26:12,618 Cool. Lucky you. 684 00:26:13,583 --> 00:26:15,376 What do I do? 685 00:26:16,227 --> 00:26:18,229 Take her up to your room. Dim the lights. 686 00:26:18,254 --> 00:26:19,756 Strike a manly pose. 687 00:26:19,814 --> 00:26:22,484 Put on some sexy music, like Barry White. 688 00:26:23,777 --> 00:26:27,155 Son... what say we pick up some hos? 689 00:26:29,485 --> 00:26:32,327 Your share of the bills this month, $70. 690 00:26:32,352 --> 00:26:34,000 I don't have $70. 691 00:26:34,025 --> 00:26:35,547 Then make $70. 692 00:26:35,622 --> 00:26:37,602 - I'm nine. - Figure it out. 693 00:26:38,304 --> 00:26:40,018 I hereby appoint you 694 00:26:40,050 --> 00:26:43,364 the Gallagher Special Diplomatic Envoy to Nigeria. 695 00:26:43,389 --> 00:26:45,882 Help me sell a baby. 696 00:26:45,924 --> 00:26:47,723 Hot Gay Jesus. 697 00:26:48,676 --> 00:26:50,809 Bet we can make money off of that. 698 00:26:51,043 --> 00:26:52,044 How? 699 00:26:52,481 --> 00:26:54,682 Ring the right bell for the right causes, 700 00:26:54,740 --> 00:26:56,951 the guilt-ridden pry open their wallets. 701 00:26:56,976 --> 00:26:58,269 It's Pavlovian. 702 00:26:58,311 --> 00:26:59,312 Don't miss out. 703 00:26:59,354 --> 00:27:01,439 All profits go to help gays across the planet. 704 00:27:01,481 --> 00:27:03,858 Are we really gonna give all of our money to Ian? 705 00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:06,611 No, of course not. Thank you so much for waiting. 706 00:27:06,653 --> 00:27:08,696 Gay Jesus loves you and blesses you. 707 00:27:08,738 --> 00:27:10,573 Time to expand our business, son. 708 00:27:10,615 --> 00:27:12,283 Let's get 'em loaded in. Welcome. 709 00:27:12,325 --> 00:27:14,577 We have a 16-hour journey ahead of us. 710 00:27:14,602 --> 00:27:15,561 I'll help you. 711 00:27:15,586 --> 00:27:17,180 We'll play a little get-to-know-you game 712 00:27:17,205 --> 00:27:19,833 as soon as you're comfortably settled in. 713 00:27:19,874 --> 00:27:21,584 Boom. 714 00:27:21,609 --> 00:27:24,070 Step right up and help build a border wall. 715 00:27:24,095 --> 00:27:25,137 A buck a brick. 716 00:27:25,162 --> 00:27:27,073 Keep illegals out of the South Side. 717 00:27:27,765 --> 00:27:28,766 Thank you. 718 00:27:28,791 --> 00:27:30,519 Thanks for making America great again. 719 00:27:30,577 --> 00:27:32,287 Thank you. 720 00:27:32,595 --> 00:27:33,930 I wanna go to school, Frank. 721 00:27:33,972 --> 00:27:36,182 Well, people in hell want cold beer. 722 00:27:36,224 --> 00:27:38,852 - What's in it for me? - I'll call Child Services. 723 00:27:38,893 --> 00:27:41,137 You're my father. You've abandoned me. 724 00:27:42,151 --> 00:27:43,235 Well played, son, 725 00:27:43,465 --> 00:27:46,484 but I'm re-abandoning you right after this is done. 726 00:27:46,509 --> 00:27:47,598 I hate Gallaghers. 727 00:27:47,623 --> 00:27:49,786 You motherfuckers bring out the worst in everybody. 728 00:27:51,239 --> 00:27:52,323 What, you proud of that? 729 00:27:52,365 --> 00:27:54,575 Hey, man, I know who I am. 730 00:27:59,348 --> 00:28:00,651 Be a Gallagher. 731 00:28:01,772 --> 00:28:03,315 I think I can do that. 732 00:28:03,340 --> 00:28:05,217 Thank you. This actually helped. 733 00:28:05,242 --> 00:28:07,036 I'm glad we could have this talk. 734 00:28:07,061 --> 00:28:08,526 I can take it from here. 735 00:28:09,257 --> 00:28:12,010 Ah, I'm killing this shit. 736 00:28:12,035 --> 00:28:13,339 He's lucky to have me. 737 00:28:22,503 --> 00:28:24,172 - Is that my gun? - Yeah. 738 00:28:24,197 --> 00:28:26,851 - Is that Franny's Cabbage Patch? - Yeah. 739 00:28:27,108 --> 00:28:28,690 You mind taking a picture of me? 740 00:28:31,421 --> 00:28:32,547 What are you doing? 741 00:28:32,572 --> 00:28:34,383 Taking your advice on how to land a girlfriend. 742 00:28:34,407 --> 00:28:36,326 Being a Gallagher, leaning into it. 743 00:28:36,351 --> 00:28:39,021 - Leaning into what? - Being a teen mom. 744 00:28:44,584 --> 00:28:45,936 Oh, shit. 745 00:28:47,472 --> 00:28:48,631 Oh, shit. 746 00:28:51,382 --> 00:28:53,717 - Oh, fuck! - Sorry. 747 00:28:55,637 --> 00:28:57,356 Don't embarrass me like that. 748 00:28:57,381 --> 00:28:59,628 You can't have a boy in your bed. 749 00:28:59,653 --> 00:29:01,184 Why not? You do. 750 00:29:01,226 --> 00:29:03,228 - I'm a grown-up. - I'm pregnant. 751 00:29:03,253 --> 00:29:04,667 No, you're not. 752 00:29:05,813 --> 00:29:08,858 No, you're not. Are you sure? 753 00:29:08,883 --> 00:29:11,794 - It's positive. - So we're pregnant? 754 00:29:11,819 --> 00:29:13,756 Would you like to discuss your options going forward? 755 00:29:13,781 --> 00:29:16,393 No, no, no, thank you. We're having this baby. 756 00:29:20,896 --> 00:29:23,081 - You're not pregnant? - I'm not. 757 00:29:25,458 --> 00:29:27,168 Hi, Mrs. D. Is Derek here? 758 00:29:27,210 --> 00:29:29,466 He's moving to Florida to live with his grandmother. 759 00:29:30,213 --> 00:29:31,422 I'm sorry. 760 00:29:31,464 --> 00:29:32,548 He can't go to Florida! 761 00:29:32,590 --> 00:29:34,724 He's the father of my child! 762 00:29:36,386 --> 00:29:39,458 I'm carrying your grandchild! 763 00:29:39,823 --> 00:29:41,157 Can I help you? 764 00:29:41,182 --> 00:29:43,476 We'd like to talk to you about the baby. 765 00:29:43,518 --> 00:29:46,826 - What baby? - Derek and Debbie's baby. 766 00:29:48,709 --> 00:29:50,066 Holy shit. 767 00:29:50,108 --> 00:29:51,609 What else did I miss? 768 00:29:51,651 --> 00:29:53,003 Lay down, lay down, lay down. 769 00:29:53,027 --> 00:29:54,338 All right, I'm gonna go get my truck 770 00:29:54,362 --> 00:29:55,506 so we can go to the hospital. 771 00:29:55,530 --> 00:29:56,698 No! No hospital! 772 00:29:56,739 --> 00:29:58,408 - We don't have time to argue. - Ahhh! 773 00:29:58,449 --> 00:29:59,951 No shit, this baby is coming! 774 00:29:59,993 --> 00:30:01,744 - Now? - She's crowning. 775 00:30:01,769 --> 00:30:03,354 - Oh. - Who delivered Liam? 776 00:30:03,379 --> 00:30:05,714 Monica. She was high. He slid right out. 777 00:30:05,994 --> 00:30:08,101 - You worked at a nursing home. - Changing bedpans. 778 00:30:08,126 --> 00:30:10,011 I never delivered a damn baby. 779 00:30:11,175 --> 00:30:13,023 - It says we need towels! - Already got 'em. 780 00:30:13,047 --> 00:30:15,972 Okay, okay, so put 'em under to catch all the... 781 00:30:16,217 --> 00:30:18,261 Fuck, just put 'em under. Shit! 782 00:30:18,303 --> 00:30:19,971 You're gonna start pushing now, okay? 783 00:30:20,013 --> 00:30:21,448 - Uh-huh. - All right, here we go. 784 00:30:21,472 --> 00:30:23,474 - All right. - Ready and push! 785 00:30:23,499 --> 00:30:25,710 Push, Debbie, push. 786 00:30:27,679 --> 00:30:28,871 Eww. 787 00:30:28,896 --> 00:30:31,399 You gotta open your legs up. 788 00:30:31,424 --> 00:30:33,011 My daughter. 789 00:30:33,985 --> 00:30:35,745 She's so big. 790 00:30:35,770 --> 00:30:37,488 Hey, good morning, Franny. 791 00:30:37,530 --> 00:30:39,115 Trying to set a good example for Franny. 792 00:30:39,339 --> 00:30:41,448 When life gets tough, you smack a smile on your face 793 00:30:41,473 --> 00:30:44,871 - and face the day. - How is she so fucking perky? 794 00:30:44,912 --> 00:30:46,831 She's headed for a major crash. 795 00:30:49,917 --> 00:30:51,103 Franny still asleep? 796 00:30:51,259 --> 00:30:52,594 Quiet! 797 00:30:56,924 --> 00:30:59,344 Ah, fuck! 798 00:30:59,385 --> 00:31:01,012 Everything terrifies me... 799 00:31:01,054 --> 00:31:04,089 SIDS, jaundice, germs, reflux. 800 00:31:06,559 --> 00:31:08,144 I think the drugs are kicking in. 801 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:12,901 _ 802 00:31:22,742 --> 00:31:25,816 I can't do it, Franny. I'm not a good mother. 803 00:31:27,292 --> 00:31:29,275 _ 804 00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:49,602 Holy shit, it costs $4,000 new. 805 00:31:49,644 --> 00:31:51,938 Yeah, that's going on Craigslist. 806 00:31:51,979 --> 00:31:53,415 We'll steal the stroller someone wants 807 00:31:53,439 --> 00:31:56,818 instead of finding someone who wants the stroller we have. 808 00:31:56,859 --> 00:31:58,526 Hi, you contacted me 809 00:31:58,551 --> 00:31:59,823 about the Baby Bugaboo? 810 00:31:59,848 --> 00:32:01,172 Yes, it's still here. 811 00:32:01,197 --> 00:32:02,448 How much did you want again? 812 00:32:02,490 --> 00:32:04,850 - How about 1,500? - You're haggling with me? 813 00:32:04,875 --> 00:32:06,094 Isn't that what Craigslist is all about? 814 00:32:06,119 --> 00:32:08,621 It's also about people advertising baby stuff 815 00:32:08,663 --> 00:32:10,581 and when the pregnant lady shows up, 816 00:32:10,623 --> 00:32:12,811 they cut the baby out of her stomach. 817 00:32:13,865 --> 00:32:15,586 We have such a bright life now. 818 00:32:15,628 --> 00:32:18,303 Double stroller. We could get a lot for that. 819 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:26,969 Shit. 820 00:32:31,394 --> 00:32:34,205 So my two role models are either a teen mom 821 00:32:34,230 --> 00:32:35,356 or a white boy drug dealer. 822 00:32:39,026 --> 00:32:40,069 All right, I'm out. 823 00:32:40,094 --> 00:32:42,388 Off to deal drugs on a Saturday morning? 824 00:32:42,413 --> 00:32:44,740 - Yep. - Impressive work ethic, son. 825 00:32:44,782 --> 00:32:46,576 What's in those bags, Carl? 826 00:32:46,617 --> 00:32:47,764 Horse. 827 00:32:48,369 --> 00:32:50,621 Why are you taping horse to my tummy? 828 00:32:50,663 --> 00:32:53,166 'Cause I'm your uncle, and you're my niece, 829 00:32:53,207 --> 00:32:55,174 and you do what I say. 830 00:32:55,199 --> 00:32:56,877 Okay, Uncle Carl. 831 00:33:04,255 --> 00:33:05,256 Whoo 832 00:33:10,541 --> 00:33:14,395 - You alone? - Uncle Carl! 833 00:33:14,428 --> 00:33:18,149 - Chicago Police, open up! - Go, run. 834 00:33:27,434 --> 00:33:28,993 Put your hands in the air now! 835 00:33:29,035 --> 00:33:30,739 All right, don't shoot! I'm white! 836 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,648 - Do you regret what you've done, Carl? - I did something really dumb, 837 00:33:34,707 --> 00:33:36,292 and I shouldn't have. 838 00:33:36,334 --> 00:33:39,856 I trusted a fucking retard with a man's job. 839 00:33:39,881 --> 00:33:41,589 Next time I move a bunch of drugs, 840 00:33:41,614 --> 00:33:43,032 I'll be smarter. 841 00:33:43,057 --> 00:33:45,268 That's not what I was hoping to hear. 842 00:33:45,293 --> 00:33:46,669 I know what you were hoping to hear. 843 00:33:46,694 --> 00:33:48,821 If Your Honor would lose 20 pounds, 844 00:33:48,846 --> 00:33:50,559 I would consider tapping that. 845 00:33:50,973 --> 00:33:52,808 I sentence you to the maximum of one year 846 00:33:52,850 --> 00:33:54,203 at the Illinois Department of Corrections 847 00:33:54,227 --> 00:33:55,811 Juvenile Justice Division. 848 00:33:55,853 --> 00:33:57,188 Yes, please. 849 00:33:57,230 --> 00:33:59,440 Why the fuck did you do that, Carl? 850 00:33:59,465 --> 00:34:02,134 My street cred will be off the chain. 851 00:34:02,403 --> 00:34:04,670 - We'll send letters. - He'll be okay. 852 00:34:04,695 --> 00:34:05,923 Hell, he's gonna be running the joint. 853 00:34:05,947 --> 00:34:07,823 Any chance he'll get scared straight? 854 00:34:07,848 --> 00:34:09,099 - No. - Hell no. 855 00:34:12,203 --> 00:34:14,205 I know what you did. Kept your mouth shut. 856 00:34:14,247 --> 00:34:17,375 Coulda gave him up, coulda made things easier for yourself. 857 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:18,309 Word. 858 00:34:18,334 --> 00:34:20,586 - Forty-nine, fifty. - Gallagher. 859 00:34:20,611 --> 00:34:21,403 Ready to go? 860 00:34:26,092 --> 00:34:27,969 White Boy Carl! 861 00:34:28,010 --> 00:34:30,263 White Boy Carl! White Boy Carl! 862 00:34:30,304 --> 00:34:33,057 White Boy Carl! White Boy Carl! 863 00:34:33,099 --> 00:34:34,267 White Boy Carl! 864 00:34:39,605 --> 00:34:41,083 Where you want these at, Mr. Gallagher? 865 00:34:41,107 --> 00:34:43,025 Right over there with the rest of the shipment. 866 00:34:43,067 --> 00:34:44,569 What the hell is going on? 867 00:34:44,610 --> 00:34:46,672 Upgraded the crib since it's technically mine now. 868 00:34:46,696 --> 00:34:48,872 Ah, not with my name on the deed, it's not. 869 00:34:48,897 --> 00:34:51,573 My money, it is. Place gonna be popping. You feel me? 870 00:34:55,246 --> 00:34:57,915 Thug for life, homes. 871 00:34:57,957 --> 00:34:59,292 - I gotta bounce. - Bye 872 00:34:59,333 --> 00:35:00,710 You stay out front while I go in 873 00:35:00,751 --> 00:35:03,296 and offer Mr. Wu a little neighborhood protection policy. 874 00:35:07,258 --> 00:35:09,760 Like taking candy from an Asian dry cleaner. 875 00:35:09,802 --> 00:35:12,221 - Where you getting all this money? - Job, saved up. 876 00:35:12,263 --> 00:35:14,140 You better not be selling drugs again, Carl. 877 00:35:14,165 --> 00:35:15,168 No. 878 00:35:15,193 --> 00:35:16,486 Next. 879 00:35:16,642 --> 00:35:19,645 - You know why you're here? - I need to buy a gun. 880 00:35:19,687 --> 00:35:21,314 Glock 17. 881 00:35:21,355 --> 00:35:23,649 A mere $300. 882 00:35:23,674 --> 00:35:24,717 Walk tall. 883 00:35:24,775 --> 00:35:26,277 - Students talk. - So? 884 00:35:26,302 --> 00:35:27,469 I want a Glock. 885 00:35:27,528 --> 00:35:30,489 A nine-millimeter semi with an extended mag. 886 00:35:30,531 --> 00:35:33,075 We're talking about a Smith & Wesson Lady model. 887 00:35:33,124 --> 00:35:35,165 Pink handle would be nice. 888 00:35:36,182 --> 00:35:38,664 Gun! 889 00:35:38,689 --> 00:35:40,983 Get your hands in the air 890 00:35:43,127 --> 00:35:44,253 What are you doing? 891 00:35:44,295 --> 00:35:46,594 The new-and-improved Liam, or Lil G for short. 892 00:35:46,619 --> 00:35:49,050 Are you sure you're not just leaning into Black stereotypes? 893 00:35:49,091 --> 00:35:51,111 No, I'm leaning into being a Gallagher. 894 00:35:51,913 --> 00:35:53,783 Okay, I'm going live. 895 00:35:55,931 --> 00:35:56,766 What up, what up? 896 00:35:56,807 --> 00:35:58,100 It's your boy Lil G 897 00:35:58,125 --> 00:36:00,044 coming at you live from the Gallagher house. 898 00:36:00,069 --> 00:36:01,494 Let me give you a tour. 899 00:36:04,315 --> 00:36:06,192 Is that what he really thinks of us? 900 00:36:06,217 --> 00:36:07,177 Yeah. 901 00:36:07,202 --> 00:36:09,121 We did what we had to do to survive. 902 00:36:11,030 --> 00:36:13,074 You in this game for life, motherfucker. 903 00:36:13,115 --> 00:36:14,367 I need to get out of the game. 904 00:36:14,408 --> 00:36:15,826 Can I get my old job back? 905 00:36:15,851 --> 00:36:17,733 I need money for military school. 906 00:36:19,725 --> 00:36:21,082 Oh, what the fuck? 907 00:36:21,123 --> 00:36:22,792 Shit, I got him. 908 00:36:24,043 --> 00:36:26,001 I see you found the little copper treat I left you. 909 00:36:26,026 --> 00:36:28,315 - Who are you? - I'm your worst fucking nightmare. 910 00:36:28,339 --> 00:36:30,775 You know what makes a man? Discipline. 911 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,193 Conviction. 912 00:36:32,218 --> 00:36:33,427 Strength of character. 913 00:36:33,884 --> 00:36:38,057 Deciding against all odds you alone define your destiny. 914 00:36:38,099 --> 00:36:39,975 I want to be able to see my face in these 915 00:36:40,017 --> 00:36:41,560 by the end of the day. 916 00:36:41,602 --> 00:36:43,095 Well, I can lend you the money. 917 00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:44,939 No, I need to earn my own way back into school. 918 00:36:44,980 --> 00:36:46,732 I already got someone on dishes. 919 00:36:46,757 --> 00:36:48,362 I'll empty and clean the grease trap. 920 00:36:58,619 --> 00:37:01,997 Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what the fuck is that smell? 921 00:37:02,022 --> 00:37:04,042 Fuck, it's like rotten, rancid eggs. 922 00:37:04,067 --> 00:37:05,926 No time to shower. 923 00:37:05,951 --> 00:37:07,370 "Need the car to make money? 924 00:37:07,461 --> 00:37:09,471 Thanks. Carl." 925 00:37:10,047 --> 00:37:11,858 - You called for an Uber? - You Kendrick? 926 00:37:11,882 --> 00:37:13,884 - I'm Carl. Where you going? - No thank you. 927 00:37:13,926 --> 00:37:16,595 I charge ten bucks less than whatever you were gonna pay. 928 00:37:16,637 --> 00:37:17,932 Okay. 929 00:37:18,848 --> 00:37:21,659 Carl, I said no Uber. That's my car! 930 00:37:21,684 --> 00:37:25,062 You can't just take it whenever you feel like it. 931 00:37:25,581 --> 00:37:27,982 You did it, man. You're clean. 932 00:37:28,007 --> 00:37:29,050 Thank you. 933 00:37:29,075 --> 00:37:30,376 Who the hell is this? 934 00:37:30,401 --> 00:37:31,610 This is my girlfriend. 935 00:37:31,652 --> 00:37:32,987 I was at Betty Ford three times. 936 00:37:33,028 --> 00:37:35,281 It didn't work for me, cost a fortune. 937 00:37:35,322 --> 00:37:36,782 You cleaned me up in five days. 938 00:37:36,807 --> 00:37:37,850 Here. 939 00:37:37,875 --> 00:37:39,711 That's five grand from my parents. 940 00:37:39,802 --> 00:37:43,639 Plus, Nora-Jean's folks are gonna give you 2,500 941 00:37:43,664 --> 00:37:46,268 for the Beaver Trap Detox Special. 942 00:37:46,917 --> 00:37:50,004 In 72 hours, you will be free of your addiction. 943 00:37:50,045 --> 00:37:51,964 Livestock's been fed and watered, sir. 944 00:37:52,006 --> 00:37:54,216 Jesus, Carl, your involuntary detox program 945 00:37:54,241 --> 00:37:55,492 is stinking up the whole house. 946 00:37:55,517 --> 00:37:56,610 It smells like afterbirth down there. 947 00:37:56,635 --> 00:37:58,220 I will now begin intake. 948 00:37:58,262 --> 00:38:00,306 State your name and your parents' net worth 949 00:38:00,347 --> 00:38:02,600 in a loud and clear voice. 950 00:38:02,641 --> 00:38:05,561 I know you're selling vape pens to little Mexican kids, 951 00:38:05,603 --> 00:38:07,271 and I want to go into business with you. 952 00:38:07,313 --> 00:38:08,397 We'll split profits 50/50. 953 00:38:08,439 --> 00:38:09,791 Liam and I will go to the playground, 954 00:38:09,816 --> 00:38:12,964 round up new buyers, and here is your supplies. 955 00:38:12,989 --> 00:38:13,864 Menthol? 956 00:38:13,889 --> 00:38:15,651 Trust me, my customers will love it. 957 00:38:18,032 --> 00:38:19,217 You can ride with me. 958 00:38:19,241 --> 00:38:20,510 We'll get to know each other better. 959 00:38:23,771 --> 00:38:25,022 He's running. 960 00:38:25,047 --> 00:38:26,393 Stay in the car. 961 00:38:28,568 --> 00:38:30,339 Hey, stop! 962 00:38:32,129 --> 00:38:34,590 - Who the hell are you? - The law, motherfucker! 963 00:38:34,615 --> 00:38:36,651 Don't hit your head on the way in, punk. 964 00:38:40,294 --> 00:38:41,378 Well, I'll be damned. 965 00:38:41,403 --> 00:38:43,174 You got any more tricks up your sleeve? 966 00:38:44,558 --> 00:38:46,602 Thanks for the ride, Sergeant Winslow. 967 00:38:46,627 --> 00:38:48,045 What was all that about? 968 00:38:48,070 --> 00:38:49,530 Think I wanna be a cop. 969 00:38:49,622 --> 00:38:51,290 I'm here to join the police academy. 970 00:38:51,315 --> 00:38:52,983 I have three skills to offer you, sir. 971 00:38:53,025 --> 00:38:55,277 I like to choke things, I'm good with weapons, 972 00:38:55,319 --> 00:38:57,029 and I got a buttload of rage in my heart. 973 00:38:57,071 --> 00:38:59,070 I think I've got a place better suited for your talent. 974 00:38:59,263 --> 00:39:00,556 Sanitation department. 975 00:39:00,581 --> 00:39:01,891 Breakfast is served. 976 00:39:02,368 --> 00:39:03,994 You guys eat out of the garbage? 977 00:39:04,036 --> 00:39:05,263 You just show up out of nowhere, 978 00:39:05,287 --> 00:39:07,265 acting like you're too good to eat a dumpster bagel. 979 00:39:07,289 --> 00:39:08,984 Strikes me as a little suspicious. 980 00:39:09,009 --> 00:39:10,219 Eat. 981 00:39:10,244 --> 00:39:12,312 Except cinnamon raisin. Those go to the boss man. 982 00:39:14,088 --> 00:39:16,465 We're finishing up. 983 00:39:16,490 --> 00:39:17,852 Move it up. 984 00:39:19,497 --> 00:39:21,040 Come on back. 985 00:39:24,547 --> 00:39:25,891 Fuck that guy. 986 00:39:25,916 --> 00:39:27,209 Beautiful world 987 00:39:28,252 --> 00:39:30,212 We ain't got no free services, you heard? 988 00:39:30,271 --> 00:39:31,790 So give us what you owe, or we're gonna be 989 00:39:31,814 --> 00:39:34,125 at every open house you got. 990 00:39:34,358 --> 00:39:35,752 What's up with the open house thing? 991 00:39:35,776 --> 00:39:37,805 You ask a lot of questions, Gallagher. 992 00:39:38,426 --> 00:39:40,136 - You a cop, Carl? - Hell no. 993 00:39:40,406 --> 00:39:42,324 Sir, garbage is dirty. 994 00:39:42,366 --> 00:39:43,993 Keep it up. You're gonna make one hell 995 00:39:44,034 --> 00:39:45,703 of a cop someday, Gallagher. 996 00:39:45,728 --> 00:39:47,605 See, it's not all bad. 997 00:39:47,679 --> 00:39:50,015 Yeah, well, I made something of myself. 998 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,835 How am I gonna afford $375? 999 00:39:52,877 --> 00:39:55,170 - You could get a job. - Is The Alibi hiring? 1000 00:39:55,212 --> 00:39:56,297 I need to get a job. 1001 00:39:56,338 --> 00:39:59,049 I wanted to ask if it would be okay if I worked here. 1002 00:39:59,267 --> 00:40:02,634 That's 75 cents a pound. That will be $13.50, please. 1003 00:40:02,659 --> 00:40:05,407 You overcharged her. It's 50 cents a pound. Sign's in the window. 1004 00:40:05,432 --> 00:40:06,783 I took that sign down. 1005 00:40:06,808 --> 00:40:08,225 Fifty cents a pound is low. 1006 00:40:08,267 --> 00:40:10,537 As long as it's under a dollar, nobody really does the math, 1007 00:40:10,561 --> 00:40:13,423 - and we increase profits by 50%. - Smart. 1008 00:40:16,150 --> 00:40:18,777 That'll show those misogynistic motherfuckers. 1009 00:40:18,819 --> 00:40:20,747 Only two dicks left. 1010 00:40:21,255 --> 00:40:22,448 - En garde! - Ooh! 1011 00:40:23,657 --> 00:40:25,028 Okay, who's next? 1012 00:40:32,333 --> 00:40:35,628 - You cunt! - I tried to be nice. 1013 00:40:36,969 --> 00:40:38,054 Open the gate. 1014 00:40:38,525 --> 00:40:40,527 And good afternoon to you too, sir. 1015 00:40:52,778 --> 00:40:55,856 Who the fuck welded a dumpster to my fucking car? 1016 00:40:58,258 --> 00:41:00,145 Okay, now let's do some without my helmet. 1017 00:41:03,656 --> 00:41:05,240 How does my hair look? 1018 00:41:05,265 --> 00:41:06,850 I don't know, red? 1019 00:41:06,875 --> 00:41:08,369 Just take the pictures. 1020 00:41:08,410 --> 00:41:09,745 What do you need these for? 1021 00:41:09,787 --> 00:41:11,705 I'm trying to get some freelance welding work. 1022 00:41:11,933 --> 00:41:14,541 Hi, I'm here to discuss payment options for my class, 1023 00:41:14,583 --> 00:41:16,001 Advanced Arc Welding, second level. 1024 00:41:16,043 --> 00:41:18,671 Bring this back tomorrow with 300 bucks. 1025 00:41:18,729 --> 00:41:21,357 Added to the 200 that you already put down, 1026 00:41:21,382 --> 00:41:23,676 that's 20% of the tuition. 1027 00:41:23,701 --> 00:41:26,691 - I can't bend past that. - Thank you. 1028 00:41:28,633 --> 00:41:30,259 Toto! 1029 00:41:30,474 --> 00:41:32,917 Toto, Toto, stop. 1030 00:41:34,962 --> 00:41:36,886 - Go. - Yo, ditch the weed! 1031 00:41:42,742 --> 00:41:44,160 What the hell? 1032 00:41:44,185 --> 00:41:45,645 Is that what you've been barking at? 1033 00:41:46,105 --> 00:41:47,700 Think I may have a cheap supplier 1034 00:41:47,725 --> 00:41:48,935 who specializes in weed. 1035 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,573 How much do we need to sell to make 300 bucks by tomorrow? 1036 00:41:51,860 --> 00:41:54,279 I can unload it. Who's your supplier? 1037 00:41:54,432 --> 00:41:56,934 He goes by the street name Toto. 1038 00:42:06,343 --> 00:42:07,773 Good boy, Toto. 1039 00:42:12,906 --> 00:42:16,396 Ah, Mommy's gonna get her tuition. 1040 00:42:16,421 --> 00:42:18,790 Hi, sign me up for second semester, please. 1041 00:42:18,815 --> 00:42:21,507 Oh, it's good to see you made it back. 1042 00:42:24,153 --> 00:42:25,757 Don't ask. 1043 00:42:26,005 --> 00:42:27,840 You guys, Farhad found me a temp job 1044 00:42:27,865 --> 00:42:29,241 that pays 40 bucks an hour. 1045 00:42:29,283 --> 00:42:31,076 - Oh, yeah? - Some nighttime welding gig. 1046 00:42:31,118 --> 00:42:33,787 Oh, nighttime welding. Sounds kinda sketchy, Debs. 1047 00:42:33,812 --> 00:42:36,098 It took me two weeks to make 300 bucks walking dogs. 1048 00:42:36,123 --> 00:42:38,125 I can handle sketchy. 1049 00:42:38,167 --> 00:42:40,085 Hey, scab motherfucker! 1050 00:42:41,741 --> 00:42:44,048 Go, go! Fucking run! 1051 00:42:44,089 --> 00:42:46,445 Debbie, Debbie, run! 1052 00:42:46,911 --> 00:42:49,455 Come here, you motherfucker! 1053 00:42:50,512 --> 00:42:52,556 Shit! 1054 00:42:54,850 --> 00:42:57,686 It's wrong and it's dangerous. I'm never being a scab again. 1055 00:42:57,735 --> 00:42:59,987 Hey, I just got a tip for another gig. 1056 00:43:00,012 --> 00:43:01,545 Pays even more. 1057 00:43:01,982 --> 00:43:02,941 I'm in. 1058 00:43:06,528 --> 00:43:07,946 Debbie! 1059 00:43:07,988 --> 00:43:10,397 Call 911! 1060 00:43:12,576 --> 00:43:16,038 Whoa. 1061 00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:17,706 Okay, just how we practiced. 1062 00:43:17,731 --> 00:43:20,067 Start with the little one, cut the joint. 1063 00:43:20,092 --> 00:43:22,842 Once you start, do not stop until you cut off all three. 1064 00:43:27,858 --> 00:43:29,777 Ow! Fuck! 1065 00:43:29,802 --> 00:43:31,345 Okay, let's do this. 1066 00:43:31,386 --> 00:43:33,430 I can see it in your eyes now 1067 00:43:38,977 --> 00:43:40,354 Shit! 1068 00:44:03,021 --> 00:44:05,587 I mean, I'm a much better role model to Liam. 1069 00:44:05,629 --> 00:44:06,964 You'll always be a teen mom. 1070 00:44:07,005 --> 00:44:08,257 Okay, White Boy Carl. 1071 00:44:08,298 --> 00:44:09,692 Do you want some mayonnaise to go along 1072 00:44:09,716 --> 00:44:10,860 with that cultural appropriation? 1073 00:44:10,884 --> 00:44:12,302 Fuck you, 15 and pregnant. 1074 00:44:12,344 --> 00:44:14,429 MTV ain't shit anymore, and neither are you. 1075 00:44:14,471 --> 00:44:17,015 Well, at least I didn't turn on my own and become a cop. 1076 00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:18,914 At least I can wear open-toed shoes. 1077 00:44:24,383 --> 00:44:28,402 - Are you serious? - Fight me, bitch. 1078 00:44:34,158 --> 00:44:35,742 Ow! 1079 00:44:35,784 --> 00:44:37,442 - Who are you? - Kyle. 1080 00:44:37,467 --> 00:44:40,164 - What's your business here? - I may or may not be related 1081 00:44:40,205 --> 00:44:41,790 to your neighbor, Kevin. 1082 00:44:41,815 --> 00:44:44,568 Yo, period! Period! 1083 00:45:01,351 --> 00:45:02,853 Yes! 1084 00:45:02,895 --> 00:45:06,231 Oh, my God, I totally almost drowned a slut. 1085 00:45:06,273 --> 00:45:07,983 What's the matter with you? 1086 00:45:10,569 --> 00:45:12,863 Oh, it was a piece of shit anyway. 1087 00:45:18,994 --> 00:45:20,054 Never heard of that. 1088 00:45:20,078 --> 00:45:22,206 A girl who had to rape a boy to get laid. 1089 00:45:22,264 --> 00:45:24,892 How does that work? 1090 00:45:31,550 --> 00:45:33,052 Hey! 1091 00:45:35,903 --> 00:45:39,531 Get off of me! You slut! 1092 00:45:39,556 --> 00:45:44,679 - Mama. - You do not F with Debbie Gallagher! 1093 00:45:47,173 --> 00:45:49,367 You know what I think is hilarious? 1094 00:45:49,833 --> 00:45:51,627 Carl, not the... not the vagina pillow. 1095 00:45:51,652 --> 00:45:53,484 Seriously, I... no. I've been working on that all... 1096 00:45:53,509 --> 00:45:55,742 No! Not the vagina! 1097 00:45:59,326 --> 00:46:01,411 Ow! Oh. 1098 00:46:21,679 --> 00:46:23,517 Shit. 1099 00:46:23,580 --> 00:46:26,077 - Bullying is bad for society. - Very good. 1100 00:46:27,854 --> 00:46:30,565 Give me money, chihuahua. 1101 00:46:30,607 --> 00:46:32,484 What the hell are you guys doing? 1102 00:46:32,526 --> 00:46:34,236 Waking Frank's spirit. 1103 00:46:34,278 --> 00:46:35,779 Why don't you just do this? 1104 00:46:38,240 --> 00:46:39,950 I'm gonna fuck you up. 1105 00:46:44,830 --> 00:46:46,707 Anyone else wanna haze me? 1106 00:46:46,732 --> 00:46:48,401 Didn't think so. 1107 00:46:50,001 --> 00:46:51,669 Hey, jaywalking's illegal. 1108 00:46:51,694 --> 00:46:54,298 Buzz off. 1109 00:46:59,428 --> 00:47:01,990 - Give me the fucking money. - Okay, you know what, asshole? 1110 00:47:02,014 --> 00:47:04,016 Pull the motherfucking trigger. 1111 00:47:04,041 --> 00:47:06,085 God fucking... 1112 00:47:07,519 --> 00:47:10,272 Fucker! Piece of fucking shit! 1113 00:47:10,297 --> 00:47:12,382 West Point motherfucking 1114 00:47:12,441 --> 00:47:16,265 lesbian sister piece of shit! 1115 00:47:18,402 --> 00:47:19,587 Check it. 1116 00:47:20,198 --> 00:47:21,199 Weed bread. 1117 00:47:21,241 --> 00:47:23,035 All you have to do is just like and follow, 1118 00:47:23,076 --> 00:47:24,202 and you get half off. 1119 00:47:24,244 --> 00:47:26,788 50,000 views in the first three hours? 1120 00:47:30,584 --> 00:47:33,457 - Sasha? - Saw your video. 1121 00:47:33,670 --> 00:47:35,172 You're, like, Instagram famous now. 1122 00:47:35,509 --> 00:47:38,008 So I was thinking, maybe I was wrong about us. 1123 00:47:38,050 --> 00:47:40,677 Sorry, Sash, too little, too late. 1124 00:47:40,702 --> 00:47:43,142 I've actually moved on. 1125 00:47:43,167 --> 00:47:44,884 I think that's them right now. 1126 00:47:48,030 --> 00:47:49,454 What's up? 1127 00:47:51,688 --> 00:47:53,634 We'll be upstairs. 1128 00:47:56,835 --> 00:47:58,754 I think he'll be just fine. 1129 00:47:58,779 --> 00:48:00,688 They grow up so fast. 1130 00:48:01,326 --> 00:48:03,161 To being a Gallagher. 1131 00:48:20,926 --> 00:48:22,969 I play Carl Gallagher. 1132 00:48:23,011 --> 00:48:25,931 He's a very odd kid. 1133 00:48:25,972 --> 00:48:28,225 He'll do what he wants when he wants. 1134 00:48:28,266 --> 00:48:30,977 I had the best day of my life. 1135 00:48:31,019 --> 00:48:33,397 - Did you wear a face guard? - Nope. 1136 00:48:33,743 --> 00:48:35,607 How many more dogs are down there, Carl? 1137 00:48:35,649 --> 00:48:36,751 Just Rocco and Bernice. 1138 00:48:36,775 --> 00:48:38,652 They should be dead by the end of the week. 1139 00:48:39,820 --> 00:48:42,723 You just bought yourself two more weeks' detention. 1140 00:48:42,985 --> 00:48:45,117 You know you misspelled your last name. 1141 00:48:45,158 --> 00:48:48,078 He doesn't exactly know sometimes what's going on. 1142 00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:49,621 Who was the first American president 1143 00:48:49,663 --> 00:48:51,581 to serve two nonconsecutive terms? 1144 00:48:51,606 --> 00:48:52,720 Fuck if I know. 1145 00:48:52,745 --> 00:48:53,955 But he doesn't really care. 1146 00:48:54,181 --> 00:48:55,419 Grover Cleveland. 1147 00:48:55,460 --> 00:48:56,837 Oh, from Sesame Street? 1148 00:49:08,932 --> 00:49:10,767 I play Debbie Gallagher. 1149 00:49:10,809 --> 00:49:12,519 She's a take-charge kinda girl. 1150 00:49:12,561 --> 00:49:15,147 Hey! Only kids under 12 eat for free. 1151 00:49:15,188 --> 00:49:16,690 Everybody else pays. 1152 00:49:16,715 --> 00:49:19,135 She's trying to get through life without problems. 1153 00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:21,246 - Oh, there it is. - Is that a shiv? 1154 00:49:21,271 --> 00:49:22,439 Yep. Later. 1155 00:49:22,464 --> 00:49:24,257 Debbie tries to be Daddy's little girl, 1156 00:49:24,282 --> 00:49:25,590 but since her dad's drunk, 1157 00:49:25,615 --> 00:49:28,034 it doesn't really turn out the way she wants. 1158 00:49:28,076 --> 00:49:30,412 Frank Gallagher! 1159 00:49:30,454 --> 00:49:31,788 Show yourself! 1160 00:49:31,830 --> 00:49:34,082 This shit is about to get biblical! 1161 00:49:34,124 --> 00:49:36,268 I can see you're emotional. Let's just... 1162 00:49:36,293 --> 00:49:38,728 I am as cool as a motherfucking cucumber. 1163 00:49:38,753 --> 00:49:41,256 What's this 600 bucks you've already taken out 1164 00:49:41,298 --> 00:49:43,258 - of my discretionary money? - New couch. 1165 00:49:43,300 --> 00:49:44,694 There's nothing wrong with our couch. 1166 00:49:44,718 --> 00:49:47,345 You spent six months dribbling your broken leg juices 1167 00:49:47,370 --> 00:49:48,696 and piss all over it. 1168 00:49:48,721 --> 00:49:50,142 It's perfectly fine. 1169 00:49:55,085 --> 00:49:57,629 Uh, Debbie takes care of Liam. 1170 00:49:58,877 --> 00:50:02,611 Hi, baby bottoms. Did you have sweet dreams? 1171 00:50:08,074 --> 00:50:09,659 She takes care of Liam. 1172 00:50:09,684 --> 00:50:11,580 Oh, Liam. 1173 00:50:12,681 --> 00:50:13,705 Got him in time. 1174 00:50:17,417 --> 00:50:20,587 She cares about Liam, because she takes care of him. 1175 00:50:20,629 --> 00:50:22,756 I'm sorry, I keep rambling. 1176 00:50:23,588 --> 00:50:26,092 - How come my key doesn't work? - I changed the locks. 1177 00:50:26,134 --> 00:50:28,330 You have the rest of the cash you owe me yet? 1178 00:50:28,595 --> 00:50:32,307 Nice job. When you get the other 18.75, I'll get you a key. 1179 00:50:38,063 --> 00:50:41,399 This is kinda like a once-in-a-life opportunity. 1180 00:50:41,441 --> 00:50:42,901 I mean, I'm really having fun. 1181 00:50:42,943 --> 00:50:44,694 It's just really cool 'cause there's 1182 00:50:44,736 --> 00:50:47,322 all these lights and four cam... Two cameras. 1183 00:50:47,364 --> 00:50:48,448 Two or three cameras. 1184 00:50:48,490 --> 00:50:50,659 There's all the special effects and everything. 1185 00:50:50,684 --> 00:50:52,144 It's just... it's, like, amazing. 1186 00:50:52,169 --> 00:50:53,094 It's so cool. 1187 00:50:53,119 --> 00:50:54,496 Go really shy on this one. 1188 00:50:54,538 --> 00:50:56,831 So should I not... Should I laugh still, 1189 00:50:56,873 --> 00:50:58,250 but, like, a little giggle? 1190 00:50:58,275 --> 00:50:59,527 Like ha-ha. 1191 00:50:59,552 --> 00:51:00,727 Got it. 1192 00:51:00,752 --> 00:51:02,754 Debbie has faith that one day maybe 1193 00:51:03,050 --> 00:51:06,007 her family will be the picture-perfect paradise family. 1194 00:51:06,049 --> 00:51:08,468 It serves you right for fucking that slut 1195 00:51:08,510 --> 00:51:09,844 with the cauliflower ears! 1196 00:51:09,886 --> 00:51:11,888 - I was not fucking her! - Yes, you did! 1197 00:51:11,930 --> 00:51:13,987 It was a blow job! 1198 00:51:14,693 --> 00:51:15,902 Ow! 1199 00:51:50,265 --> 00:51:55,265 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com --