1
00:00:00,007 --> 00:00:00,842
I read this thing.

2
00:00:00,867 --> 00:00:02,980
It said that back in the 1800s,

3
00:00:03,005 --> 00:00:05,225
women had so little standing in society

4
00:00:05,325 --> 00:00:06,745
that if a woman murdered someone,

5
00:00:06,845 --> 00:00:09,465
they could arrest her husband,
like it was his fault,

6
00:00:09,565 --> 00:00:11,201
'cause they considered that in law

7
00:00:11,226 --> 00:00:12,985
she was literally incapable.

8
00:00:13,085 --> 00:00:15,115
They thought women had
no capacity for morals

9
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:17,545
or common sense or anything.

10
00:00:17,645 --> 00:00:19,100
Which meant the husband was responsible

11
00:00:19,125 --> 00:00:20,665
for everything she did.

12
00:00:20,772 --> 00:00:22,029
So, if the wife murdered someone,

13
00:00:22,054 --> 00:00:23,312
her husband could be hanged.

14
00:00:23,337 --> 00:00:24,505
Oh, don't give her ideas.

15
00:00:24,605 --> 00:00:26,193
- I wish.
- Lucy, tell your mum,

16
00:00:26,218 --> 00:00:27,584
don't get ideas now, I'm not safe.

17
00:00:27,609 --> 00:00:28,467
As soon as you get there,

18
00:00:28,492 --> 00:00:30,185
you bring that law back fast as you can.

19
00:00:30,210 --> 00:00:31,818
- I'll have a word.
- Good boy.

20
00:00:31,843 --> 00:00:33,154
Well, he's not the
Lord bloody Chancellor.

21
00:00:33,179 --> 00:00:34,764
He's gonna study the law, not make it.

22
00:00:34,789 --> 00:00:36,021
Well, give him time.

23
00:00:36,046 --> 00:00:38,985
No! Definition of a barrister
is a servant of the law!

24
00:00:39,085 --> 00:00:41,248
He's leaving home to
buckle down and work hard,

25
00:00:41,273 --> 00:00:42,240
that's the point.

26
00:00:42,265 --> 00:00:43,025
Oh, I meant to say,

27
00:00:43,125 --> 00:00:44,865
I'll go through your wardrobe next week.

28
00:00:44,965 --> 00:00:46,671
There's stuff in there
from when you were 12.

29
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:49,700
It can all go.

30
00:00:49,725 --> 00:00:52,425
But just leave it, I'll
sort it out when I come back.

31
00:00:54,565 --> 00:00:56,025
Oh, that's not till Christmas.

32
00:00:56,125 --> 00:00:58,325
Yeah, but I know where everything is.

33
00:00:59,645 --> 00:01:00,785
Well, I won't go mad.

34
00:01:00,885 --> 00:01:02,907
Anything nice I'll put to one side.

35
00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:06,128
But I can move everything
out and give it a good scrub.

36
00:01:06,925 --> 00:01:08,145
All the corners.

37
00:01:08,245 --> 00:01:10,225
Maybe even paint it.

38
00:01:10,325 --> 00:01:13,565
By the time you come back,
it'll be like new. Hm.

39
00:01:17,541 --> 00:01:22,456
www.subtitulamos.tv

40
00:01:22,766 --> 00:01:25,286
I'll give you a call and
let you know the number.

41
00:01:29,321 --> 00:01:32,101
I mean it. It's
different on the mainland.

42
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,466
If you see something left
on the bus or a tube,

43
00:01:34,491 --> 00:01:37,811
anything left on its own,
don't touch it, all right?

44
00:01:49,246 --> 00:01:51,101
There's some things
your mother didn't pack.

45
00:01:51,126 --> 00:01:53,341
I don't want you getting
some girl in trouble.

46
00:01:53,366 --> 00:01:55,066
But make sure they all get used.

47
00:01:55,091 --> 00:01:58,229
Your mother's right, it is
different on the mainland.

48
00:01:59,331 --> 00:02:01,351
It's a lot more fun.

49
00:02:42,407 --> 00:02:43,556
So what's all that about then?

50
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:44,947
- How'd you mean?
- Your dad.

51
00:02:45,047 --> 00:02:46,993
Past week he's been
picking you up every night.

52
00:02:47,018 --> 00:02:48,454
Oh, he's working round the corner,

53
00:02:48,479 --> 00:02:49,650
he likes going for a pint, that's all.

54
00:02:49,675 --> 00:02:50,853
All right then. Well,
have one for me, yeah?

55
00:02:50,878 --> 00:02:51,806
Right, I'll see you tomorrow.

56
00:02:51,831 --> 00:02:52,862
See ya.

57
00:03:06,417 --> 00:03:07,542
Who's he?

58
00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:10,604
That's not fair. I can't
help working with men, can I?

59
00:03:38,464 --> 00:03:42,011
_

60
00:03:45,846 --> 00:03:48,347
Father, forgive my son, Roscoe.

61
00:03:48,447 --> 00:03:52,467
He has fallen into the pit of
sodomy. Save him, oh, Lord.

62
00:04:01,807 --> 00:04:03,828
Uncle Basil's here. I warned you.

63
00:04:03,928 --> 00:04:05,348
He's gonna take you home.

64
00:04:05,448 --> 00:04:09,290
Look, there's 120 quid, it's all I've got.

65
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:10,508
Just take it and go.

66
00:04:10,608 --> 00:04:11,931
But, go where?

67
00:04:11,956 --> 00:04:12,743
I don't know.

68
00:04:12,768 --> 00:04:14,150
You're the one with the secret
little friends, aren't you?

69
00:04:14,175 --> 00:04:15,111
Go to them, I don't care.

70
00:04:15,136 --> 00:04:16,532
Uncle Basil can't
take me out the country,

71
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:17,556
not if I say no.

72
00:04:17,581 --> 00:04:18,485
If you cause trouble,

73
00:04:18,510 --> 00:04:21,748
he says the whole family can
go back to Nigeria and I'm not!

74
00:04:21,848 --> 00:04:22,909
I won't!

75
00:04:23,619 --> 00:04:25,619
You're not gonna ruin my life too.

76
00:04:29,088 --> 00:04:32,760
Roscoe, if they send you back home,

77
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:37,487
they will beat you and bleed you.

78
00:04:38,768 --> 00:04:40,768
In the name of God, they will kill you.

79
00:04:41,968 --> 00:04:44,103
And then they'll throw
your body into the forest

80
00:04:44,128 --> 00:04:45,928
and leave you for the animals.

81
00:04:48,368 --> 00:04:50,368
You stupid little kid.

82
00:04:51,848 --> 00:04:53,848
Uncle Basil's downstairs.

83
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:55,698
Just run.

84
00:04:57,648 --> 00:04:58,573
Run.

85
00:04:59,808 --> 00:05:01,663
It goes without saying,

86
00:05:01,688 --> 00:05:05,263
but if you need me to make
the journey alongside you,

87
00:05:05,288 --> 00:05:07,588
I would be more than happy.

88
00:05:07,688 --> 00:05:09,307
It would be an honor.

89
00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:13,508
That would help. Thank you.

90
00:05:13,823 --> 00:05:15,468
Given the time of arrival,

91
00:05:15,568 --> 00:05:18,908
some people choose to stay
in Lagos for the first night,

92
00:05:19,008 --> 00:05:20,588
but if you take my advice,

93
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,509
get him out of the city
as fast as you can.

94
00:05:23,609 --> 00:05:26,337
I can get you a car and a
driver, it's easily done.

95
00:05:26,362 --> 00:05:29,544
But that's an additional
cost, on top of the rest.

96
00:05:29,569 --> 00:05:32,584
The society would help,
that's why they exist.

97
00:05:32,609 --> 00:05:36,323
You fall, they catch you with open arms.

98
00:05:36,969 --> 00:05:39,309
But it could take
months to heal the boy.

99
00:05:39,409 --> 00:05:42,439
How do I cope with Oscar
away and no money coming in?

100
00:05:42,464 --> 00:05:45,643
Again, the society's there.

101
00:05:46,169 --> 00:05:49,229
We have anticipated everything.

102
00:05:50,249 --> 00:05:51,344
What is he doing?

103
00:05:51,369 --> 00:05:54,264
Your son has the devil
in him tonight, Rosa.

104
00:05:54,289 --> 00:05:56,495
That's exactly the problem.

105
00:05:57,489 --> 00:06:00,651
What in the name of the Lord?

106
00:06:02,249 --> 00:06:03,389
I'm going now.

107
00:06:03,489 --> 00:06:06,478
So thank you very much and if
you need to forward any mail,

108
00:06:06,503 --> 00:06:10,269
I'll be staying at 23 Piss
Off Avenue, London W Fuck.

109
00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:12,682
Thank you and goodbye.

110
00:06:13,409 --> 00:06:16,069
No! No, no!

111
00:06:16,169 --> 00:06:20,629
Don't go! No, no!

112
00:06:20,729 --> 00:06:23,260
Roscoe! Come back here!

113
00:06:31,049 --> 00:06:33,989
Roscoe! Roscoe, come back here!

114
00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:36,669
Roscoe! Come back here!

115
00:06:36,769 --> 00:06:39,949
If you leave now, you don't come back.

116
00:06:40,049 --> 00:06:42,049
Roscoe!

117
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:47,710
Hello.

118
00:06:47,810 --> 00:06:49,056
Well, don't just stand there,

119
00:06:49,081 --> 00:06:51,090
in you come, that's a good lad.

120
00:06:55,770 --> 00:06:57,610
Now then, I went through
everything with your mother,

121
00:06:57,635 --> 00:06:58,910
but first things first.

122
00:06:59,010 --> 00:07:01,360
There's the telephone and
there's a jotter on the side

123
00:07:01,385 --> 00:07:02,910
so you can make a list of any calls.

124
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:04,173
Just write the duration

125
00:07:04,198 --> 00:07:06,790
and whether it was
before or after 6:00 p.m.

126
00:07:06,890 --> 00:07:09,618
Oh, that's the family,
that's Mike and my lad, Ross.

127
00:07:09,643 --> 00:07:11,230
Colin's arrived, boys.

128
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,910
We can all have a cup of
tea once you've settled in.

129
00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:16,070
And breakfast is included.

130
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:17,950
If you've got a radio or a tape deck,

131
00:07:18,050 --> 00:07:19,830
then not past 10:00 p.m.

132
00:07:19,930 --> 00:07:22,130
And it's a cheque every Friday morning.

133
00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:24,950
That's the inventory.

134
00:07:25,050 --> 00:07:27,750
And, obviously, no girls in the room.

135
00:07:27,850 --> 00:07:29,510
Goes without saying.

136
00:07:29,610 --> 00:07:30,950
It's nice though, isn't it?

137
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,653
Lovely. Thank you very much.

138
00:07:32,678 --> 00:07:35,959
Oh, and there's, "Lovely." How funny.

139
00:08:10,411 --> 00:08:12,351
I learn something new every day.

140
00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:14,739
I have to memorize all the
Oxford and Cambridge ties,

141
00:08:14,764 --> 00:08:17,071
'cause all the different colleges
have got a different tie.

142
00:08:17,171 --> 00:08:17,951
But I did it.

143
00:08:18,051 --> 00:08:19,306
Well, you've always had a good memory,

144
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:20,831
I could have told them that.

145
00:08:20,931 --> 00:08:22,200
I remember you revising.

146
00:08:22,225 --> 00:08:24,551
You'd learn whole chapters off by heart.

147
00:08:24,651 --> 00:08:27,291
What's it like outside
of work? Is it nice?

148
00:08:28,251 --> 00:08:29,991
- Yeah.
- You making friends?

149
00:08:30,091 --> 00:08:31,031
Yeah.

150
00:08:31,131 --> 00:08:33,351
There now, lucky them, I say.

151
00:08:33,451 --> 00:08:35,271
What do you do, go for drinks?

152
00:08:35,371 --> 00:08:36,551
Yeah, sometimes.

153
00:08:36,651 --> 00:08:38,191
You going out tonight?

154
00:08:38,291 --> 00:08:39,271
Yeah.

155
00:08:39,371 --> 00:08:41,371
Oh, nice, where you off?

156
00:08:42,531 --> 00:08:44,351
I don't know, anywhere.

157
00:08:44,451 --> 00:08:47,184
There's a million pubs and
things, we go all over,

158
00:08:47,209 --> 00:08:48,420
it's brilliant.

159
00:08:54,371 --> 00:08:57,031
Well, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye-bye.

160
00:08:57,131 --> 00:08:58,809
And well done for today.

161
00:08:58,834 --> 00:09:00,826
Oh, it was all Mr. Coltrane's doing.

162
00:09:00,851 --> 00:09:02,831
I don't think they stood a chance.

163
00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:04,191
Just doing my job, sir.

164
00:09:04,291 --> 00:09:06,951
Well, congratulations.

165
00:09:07,051 --> 00:09:11,031
Colin, if you could just stay behind.

166
00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:15,546
Take your jacket off.

167
00:09:15,571 --> 00:09:19,626
It's all about tiny little
particles of cotton.

168
00:09:19,651 --> 00:09:21,791
They get under the fingernails,

169
00:09:21,891 --> 00:09:23,506
they can get into the bloodstream.

170
00:09:23,531 --> 00:09:25,952
Tiny little fibers, burrowing in.

171
00:09:26,052 --> 00:09:28,661
So, you've got to wash.

172
00:09:28,686 --> 00:09:32,392
At the end of every day,
give yourself a good scrub.

173
00:09:32,492 --> 00:09:34,637
Fingernails, between the fingers.

174
00:09:34,662 --> 00:09:36,432
Don't forget the thumbs.

175
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:39,856
Otherwise, all those
fibers can get inside.

176
00:09:39,881 --> 00:09:40,951
Come on.

177
00:09:42,412 --> 00:09:43,632
Well, start washing.

178
00:09:43,657 --> 00:09:46,897
I want to see your technique.

179
00:09:47,892 --> 00:09:51,092
Fingernails and thumbs.

180
00:09:52,201 --> 00:09:53,310
Come here.

181
00:09:54,292 --> 00:09:57,092
All those tiny fibers, eliminate them.

182
00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:01,100
Every single dirty little bugger.

183
00:10:01,332 --> 00:10:03,672
Come on, take your shirt off.

184
00:10:03,772 --> 00:10:05,592
Come on, shirt off.

185
00:10:05,617 --> 00:10:06,689
Huh?

186
00:10:10,972 --> 00:10:14,072
You gotta take the arm and
you've got to clean it.

187
00:10:14,172 --> 00:10:15,712
And clean it again.

188
00:10:15,812 --> 00:10:19,312
Got that, Colin? Clean
it and clean it again.

189
00:10:19,412 --> 00:10:21,911
Clean it and clean it again.

190
00:10:21,936 --> 00:10:23,952
And clean it, and clean it again.

191
00:10:24,052 --> 00:10:26,152
Clean it, and clean it again!

192
00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:27,792
And then under the arm.

193
00:10:29,591 --> 00:10:30,731
Sorry,

194
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:32,919
I had that Penhaligon account
going through my head,

195
00:10:32,944 --> 00:10:33,992
so I thought I'd do a
little bit of homework

196
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,232
if that's all right?

197
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,752
I was teaching
Colin cleanliness.

198
00:10:38,852 --> 00:10:40,232
Absolutely.

199
00:10:40,257 --> 00:10:41,384
Got that?

200
00:10:42,172 --> 00:10:43,381
Yes, sir.

201
00:10:43,832 --> 00:10:46,225
I'll see
you two bright and early.

202
00:10:57,253 --> 00:10:59,113
If he says anything,

203
00:10:59,213 --> 00:11:02,348
if he even suggests little
extramural activity,

204
00:11:02,373 --> 00:11:03,473
just give me the nod.

205
00:11:03,573 --> 00:11:05,633
I can always find ways
to introduce his wife

206
00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:07,459
into the conversation.

207
00:11:08,013 --> 00:11:11,433
I've got to say, he does
pick them very well.

208
00:11:11,533 --> 00:11:15,393
Mr. Hart does tend to know,
if you see what I mean?

209
00:11:15,493 --> 00:11:16,993
Where are you from?

210
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,553
Llangorse, it's in South Wales.

211
00:11:19,653 --> 00:11:21,713
I guessed it would be,
you give that away slightly.

212
00:11:21,813 --> 00:11:23,864
But I don't suppose there's a girlfriend

213
00:11:23,889 --> 00:11:25,613
waiting back home in Wales, is there?

214
00:11:26,933 --> 00:11:28,433
Perhaps a boyfriend?

215
00:11:28,458 --> 00:11:29,486
No.

216
00:11:30,213 --> 00:11:33,147
But would there be? If you could?

217
00:11:35,213 --> 00:11:36,676
You don't have to worry about me.

218
00:11:36,701 --> 00:11:38,553
I'm not remotely interested.

219
00:11:38,653 --> 00:11:40,145
If you insist on asking,

220
00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:41,673
and really I can't get a
word in edgeways with you,

221
00:11:41,773 --> 00:11:42,553
dear God.

222
00:11:42,653 --> 00:11:43,887
But I live in Hackney

223
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,465
with a very nice man from the Algarve

224
00:11:45,490 --> 00:11:46,468
and we've been together for decades,

225
00:11:46,493 --> 00:11:49,453
so you're perfectly safe
with me, Colin Morris Jones.

226
00:11:52,453 --> 00:11:55,623
Really though. Perfectly safe.

227
00:11:58,086 --> 00:11:59,866
So there isn't?

228
00:11:59,973 --> 00:12:01,873
A boyfriend?

229
00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:03,073
No.

230
00:12:03,173 --> 00:12:05,173
But you'd like there to be?

231
00:12:06,585 --> 00:12:07,740
Yes.

232
00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:11,678
Oh my, God.

233
00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:15,927
Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

234
00:12:16,649 --> 00:12:19,060
Another pint for the bender, please!

235
00:13:17,174 --> 00:13:19,229
So, the other day I
was talking to my friend,

236
00:13:19,254 --> 00:13:22,269
and he said they found 41
men with this cancer thing

237
00:13:22,294 --> 00:13:24,834
and they all died at the
same time in New York

238
00:13:24,859 --> 00:13:26,005
and they were all gay.

239
00:13:26,030 --> 00:13:27,521
What, they
all died on the same day?

240
00:13:27,546 --> 00:13:28,560
Yeah, that's what it said,

241
00:13:28,585 --> 00:13:30,230
'cause my uncle lives in Brooklyn.

242
00:13:30,255 --> 00:13:33,780
He said all 41 had
exactly the same cancer.

243
00:13:38,455 --> 00:13:40,455
What?

244
00:13:49,368 --> 00:13:50,498
His name's Ash.

245
00:13:50,523 --> 00:13:52,185
He's from Welwyn Garden
City and he's a bender,

246
00:13:52,210 --> 00:13:53,177
so you're in with a chance.

247
00:13:53,202 --> 00:13:56,395
No, I was just looking at your class.

248
00:13:56,495 --> 00:13:58,035
It looked like fun.

249
00:13:58,135 --> 00:13:59,595
What are you, English and drama?

250
00:13:59,620 --> 00:14:00,750
Yeah, first year.

251
00:14:00,775 --> 00:14:03,077
'Cause I did plays at school.

252
00:14:03,749 --> 00:14:05,470
I loved it, I was quite good.

253
00:14:05,495 --> 00:14:07,694
I thought about doing drama for a while.

254
00:14:09,375 --> 00:14:11,190
I'm Ritchie, by the way.

255
00:14:11,215 --> 00:14:12,609
And I'm Jill.

256
00:14:13,295 --> 00:14:15,550
Do you wanna meet him then? Ash?

257
00:14:15,575 --> 00:14:18,654
I'm not, I wasn't, I was
just literally looking.

258
00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:19,834
So, you're not gay then?

259
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,995
No!

260
00:14:21,095 --> 00:14:22,475
Oh, my God, no!

261
00:14:22,575 --> 00:14:24,435
I'm more like bisexual really,

262
00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:26,595
'cause, you know, then you
can fancy anyone in the room.

263
00:14:26,695 --> 00:14:29,755
Walk into a party,
there's double the choice.

264
00:14:29,855 --> 00:14:32,035
Well, it's no good telling me, tell him.

265
00:14:32,135 --> 00:14:34,275
Ash! Over here.

266
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:35,334
Say hello, don't be stupid,

267
00:14:35,359 --> 00:14:36,755
he's nice, he's sweet, he's funny.

268
00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:38,951
This is Ritchie, he says he's bisexual

269
00:14:38,976 --> 00:14:41,635
so he can have sex with you or
me, so what do you wanna do?

270
00:14:41,735 --> 00:14:43,735
Wrestle for him?

271
00:14:55,955 --> 00:14:57,559
You need a bit of a wash.

272
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:00,116
I had a shower this morning.

273
00:15:00,141 --> 00:15:04,411
No, down there, your ass,
you need a good wash, okay?

274
00:15:32,411 --> 00:15:33,778
Thanks for that.

275
00:15:34,204 --> 00:15:35,208
Sure.

276
00:15:36,176 --> 00:15:37,370
So, do you still want...

277
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:39,316
It's kind of gone now.

278
00:15:39,341 --> 00:15:43,247
Yeah, that's all right.
I have to get back anyway.

279
00:15:47,096 --> 00:15:48,503
Was that your first time?

280
00:15:48,528 --> 00:15:49,364
No.

281
00:15:51,256 --> 00:15:52,756
Did you think I was exotic?

282
00:15:52,856 --> 00:15:54,471
No. What does that mean?

283
00:15:54,504 --> 00:15:56,073
You're born and bred
on the Isle of Wight.

284
00:15:56,098 --> 00:15:57,916
Do they have any Indians?

285
00:15:58,016 --> 00:15:59,550
There's like one family.

286
00:15:59,575 --> 00:16:01,116
Oh, my God.

287
00:16:01,216 --> 00:16:02,956
They live in Wootton Bridge.

288
00:16:03,056 --> 00:16:05,471
Every time we drive
past them, my dad says,

289
00:16:05,496 --> 00:16:07,036
"There they are."

290
00:16:07,061 --> 00:16:10,092
Not being offensive,
just, "There they are."

291
00:16:11,959 --> 00:16:13,403
So what's he say about you?

292
00:16:13,428 --> 00:16:15,297
Oh, my God, he doesn't know.

293
00:16:16,177 --> 00:16:17,517
They'd kill me.

294
00:16:17,748 --> 00:16:19,231
Both of them, they'd chuck me out.

295
00:16:19,256 --> 00:16:20,397
I'm not kidding.

296
00:16:20,497 --> 00:16:23,607
I have to sit there, not saying a word.

297
00:16:24,137 --> 00:16:25,832
Dreaming of Steve Austin.

298
00:16:25,857 --> 00:16:28,797
Oh, God, yeah.

299
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,897
Honestly, I'm so frustrated.

300
00:16:31,777 --> 00:16:33,837
I used to fancy Stretch Armstrong.

301
00:16:33,937 --> 00:16:36,157
I did. It's
those little trunks.

302
00:16:36,182 --> 00:16:38,557
Did you see, they gave
Stretch Armstrong a dog,

303
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:39,926
he's called Fetch Armstrong.

304
00:16:39,951 --> 00:16:40,637
I saw that.

305
00:16:40,737 --> 00:16:42,176
I always thought Stretch Armstrong

306
00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:44,770
should have a dirty old
uncle, Lech Armstrong.

307
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,107
Lech, that's brilliant.

308
00:16:47,342 --> 00:16:48,645
It's good, isn't it?

309
00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:51,832
I did it with this guy, he
was like a real Lech Armstrong.

310
00:16:51,857 --> 00:16:53,567
He was 37 years old.

311
00:16:53,592 --> 00:16:55,912
Oh, my God. Imagine telling
your parents that?

312
00:16:55,937 --> 00:16:57,957
And it's even worse for you,

313
00:16:57,982 --> 00:16:59,770
coming from your background, you know?

314
00:16:59,795 --> 00:17:02,879
Like, with your parents. I
mean, what are you, Hindus?

315
00:17:02,904 --> 00:17:04,856
You must be Hindus I
suppose, is that right?

316
00:17:04,881 --> 00:17:07,778
Or Muslims? No, Hindus, you'll be Hindus.

317
00:17:07,803 --> 00:17:09,411
Are you? Or Muslims, no Buddhists.

318
00:17:09,436 --> 00:17:10,325
Are you Buddhists?

319
00:17:10,350 --> 00:17:11,559
No, it's Hindus, isn't it?

320
00:17:11,584 --> 00:17:13,117
Hindi, Hindu. Hindis?

321
00:17:13,142 --> 00:17:15,142
I'll see you around.

322
00:17:28,137 --> 00:17:30,318
Oh, my God, how did it go?

323
00:17:30,418 --> 00:17:31,678
I'm sorry.

324
00:17:31,778 --> 00:17:33,417
Daft sod.

325
00:17:45,538 --> 00:17:47,838
I was 18 years old and
I got a job at Gatwick.

326
00:17:47,863 --> 00:17:52,398
I was a ramp agent and he
was cabin crew with Iberia.

327
00:17:52,498 --> 00:17:53,798
He loved my job title.

328
00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:55,618
He used to say, "Are you rampagent?"

329
00:17:55,643 --> 00:17:57,196
and I would say, "Yes, I'm very rampagent,

330
00:17:57,221 --> 00:17:58,509
"thank you very much."

331
00:17:58,534 --> 00:17:59,985
Then that went on for a bit.

332
00:18:00,010 --> 00:18:02,438
And then one day, we got the train back

333
00:18:02,463 --> 00:18:05,598
to a little bedsit I had then
and he walked me to the door

334
00:18:05,623 --> 00:18:09,291
and he stepped inside
and then he never left.

335
00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:12,278
30 years ago.

336
00:18:13,778 --> 00:18:15,638
He'll undoubtedly try to be funny

337
00:18:15,663 --> 00:18:18,603
and he will say something
blue, this is inevitable.

338
00:18:21,138 --> 00:18:24,869
Hello. Oh, this must be Colin.

339
00:18:25,315 --> 00:18:26,553
Excellent.

340
00:18:26,578 --> 00:18:29,638
You strip him naked and
I'll shave his little bum

341
00:18:29,738 --> 00:18:32,478
and then I'm gonna use the
clothes pegs.

342
00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,078
What did I say?

343
00:18:34,178 --> 00:18:35,954
First prize for predictability.

344
00:18:35,979 --> 00:18:37,078
Good evening, sexy legs.

345
00:18:37,103 --> 00:18:37,918
Hello.

346
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,182
Come on in. Come on.

347
00:18:42,178 --> 00:18:44,915
If you think that's
funny, wait, wait, wait,

348
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:46,073
there's more, there's more.

349
00:18:46,098 --> 00:18:49,118
And I said, "Where do you think
you're going, mister, huh?"

350
00:18:49,143 --> 00:18:52,219
And he turned round and
you're never gonna guess what.

351
00:18:52,244 --> 00:18:55,399
- What?
- It was the same man!

352
00:18:55,424 --> 00:18:56,959
Again!

353
00:18:57,059 --> 00:18:57,909
Mm!

354
00:18:59,379 --> 00:19:03,409
I liked it though. It was
more fun when it was illegal.

355
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:05,919
But, what about your neighbors?

356
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:07,423
Do they know, about you?

357
00:19:07,448 --> 00:19:11,439
No. We are secret.

358
00:19:11,539 --> 00:19:14,919
When I leave the house,
I dress like a lady.

359
00:19:15,019 --> 00:19:16,919
Stop it.

360
00:19:16,944 --> 00:19:19,119
They know. They've always known.

361
00:19:19,144 --> 00:19:20,165
Yeah.

362
00:19:20,190 --> 00:19:22,384
It's like the official
history of the world

363
00:19:22,409 --> 00:19:23,540
says that men like us have always been

364
00:19:23,565 --> 00:19:24,674
hidden away in secret,

365
00:19:24,699 --> 00:19:27,774
but then there's the real
world where we've been living,

366
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:30,559
together, for all this time.

367
00:19:30,659 --> 00:19:32,659
What about your families? Do...

368
00:19:34,499 --> 00:19:36,499
Well, I've moved on from them.

369
00:19:37,404 --> 00:19:38,532
How do you mean?

370
00:19:40,633 --> 00:19:42,182
I've moved on.

371
00:19:43,499 --> 00:19:45,499
But my mother, she comes over.

372
00:19:46,699 --> 00:19:47,799
She doesn't ask.

373
00:19:47,899 --> 00:19:50,279
All these years, not a single question.

374
00:19:50,379 --> 00:19:52,959
There's only two bedrooms,
she stays in the spare room,

375
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,319
Henry's in with me.

376
00:19:54,419 --> 00:19:55,799
So what does she think?

377
00:19:55,899 --> 00:19:58,679
But, she says nothing.

378
00:19:58,779 --> 00:20:02,619
She loves him like I
do, no problem at all.

379
00:20:03,739 --> 00:20:05,159
Right?

380
00:20:09,939 --> 00:20:11,602
Will you be in the
room when I tell them?

381
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,800
No, you've gotta do this on your own.

382
00:20:13,825 --> 00:20:17,182
Take a deep breath and tell 'em the truth.

383
00:20:23,033 --> 00:20:26,360
Here we are. It's not much.

384
00:20:26,385 --> 00:20:27,665
It's a bit rubbish round here.

385
00:20:27,690 --> 00:20:29,360
Shut up. It's nice.

386
00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:31,040
Thanks, Lucy.

387
00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:33,140
Have you locked it?

388
00:20:39,620 --> 00:20:41,338
Is she all right?

389
00:20:42,060 --> 00:20:44,320
Oh, she's always in a mood.

390
00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:49,649
Oh, who's that strange man in my house?

391
00:20:49,674 --> 00:20:50,751
I don't know you.

392
00:20:50,776 --> 00:20:52,243
Clive! Call the police!

393
00:20:52,268 --> 00:20:54,290
I made it. Merry Christmas.

394
00:20:54,315 --> 00:20:55,280
Oh, thanks.

395
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:59,158
Right. Oh, you must be Jill.

396
00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:02,720
He never said. Where are you from?

397
00:21:02,820 --> 00:21:04,400
Just outside Woking.

398
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:08,760
But, originally, what's
your, what's your, what's your

399
00:21:08,785 --> 00:21:09,915
heritage?

400
00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:12,713
My dad's from Dominica in the Caribbean.

401
00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:16,875
Well, it doesn't bother us.

402
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,640
Flag of all nations in this house.

403
00:21:18,740 --> 00:21:20,040
Is there anything you don't eat?

404
00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:22,120
No, I'll be fine, thank you.

405
00:21:22,145 --> 00:21:24,649
But, we do have rules.
Separate bedrooms.

406
00:21:24,674 --> 00:21:26,399
Sorry, sunshine, but not under my roof.

407
00:21:26,424 --> 00:21:29,258
And I don't wanna hear any
creaking floorboards at midnight,

408
00:21:29,283 --> 00:21:30,400
do you understand?

409
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:32,281
I know all the tricks.

410
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:40,665
Right, no, you stay there.

411
00:21:40,690 --> 00:21:41,938
I'll clear up, I'll give these a rinse.

412
00:21:41,963 --> 00:21:43,485
Oh no, you sit down, you're a guest.

413
00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:46,161
I don't mind, honestly,
Anne. Ritchie needs a word.

414
00:21:46,261 --> 00:21:48,261
Over to you.

415
00:21:48,661 --> 00:21:51,051
Well, what does that
mean? Word about what?

416
00:21:51,821 --> 00:21:53,516
Oh, you're kidding me?

417
00:21:53,541 --> 00:21:55,516
Is this what I think it is?

418
00:21:55,541 --> 00:21:57,156
Like, she's not pregnant?

419
00:21:57,181 --> 00:21:58,076
No!

420
00:21:58,101 --> 00:22:00,496
Oh, thank God for
that. Well, what is it then?

421
00:22:01,221 --> 00:22:02,223
Okay.

422
00:22:02,621 --> 00:22:05,762
So, thing is, I've been thinking,

423
00:22:06,581 --> 00:22:11,076
past few months, about my
life and all sorts of things,

424
00:22:11,101 --> 00:22:14,762
so I've made a decision and I
just wanna explain it to you.

425
00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:21,797
I'm not doing law.

426
00:22:22,504 --> 00:22:24,504
I'm changing to drama.

427
00:22:25,101 --> 00:22:26,112
It's drama with English

428
00:22:26,137 --> 00:22:27,612
so, you know, there's
proper academic work,

429
00:22:27,637 --> 00:22:31,281
but it's a drama course, really,
and I think it's more me.

430
00:22:31,381 --> 00:22:32,761
Oh, you little idiot.

431
00:22:32,861 --> 00:22:34,549
No, but it's my choice

432
00:22:34,574 --> 00:22:36,321
and I'm sorry but that's what I'm doing.

433
00:22:36,346 --> 00:22:37,690
Well, I think
you'll find you're not.

434
00:22:37,715 --> 00:22:38,768
It's already done.

435
00:22:38,793 --> 00:22:40,436
It's only been a term so
they said I could swap.

436
00:22:40,461 --> 00:22:43,213
What about your grant, eh?
Did you think about that?

437
00:22:43,238 --> 00:22:45,799
You don't get a grant for bloody drama.

438
00:22:45,824 --> 00:22:49,059
Drama with a view to what?

439
00:22:49,084 --> 00:22:50,504
What are you gonna do with it?

440
00:22:50,529 --> 00:22:52,012
I'm gonna be an actor.

441
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,762
You are so pathetic.

442
00:22:55,862 --> 00:22:58,737
Oh, that's it, that's royal, that is.

443
00:22:58,762 --> 00:23:00,437
That is bloody excellent.

444
00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:02,462
Stupid little dreamer!

445
00:23:09,782 --> 00:23:11,762
Suppose this was your idea.

446
00:23:11,787 --> 00:23:12,607
No.

447
00:23:12,632 --> 00:23:16,707
Yeah, I mean, you just opened
it up for him, didn't you?

448
00:23:17,231 --> 00:23:19,745
Your sweetness.

449
00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,809
Happy New Year!

450
00:25:28,183 --> 00:25:30,563
Woo!

451
00:25:30,663 --> 00:25:32,663
Woo!

452
00:25:37,664 --> 00:25:40,684
Woo! Woo!

453
00:25:40,784 --> 00:25:42,604
And this is my best friend, Jill.

454
00:25:42,704 --> 00:25:44,245
No, I'm sorry, no.

455
00:25:44,270 --> 00:25:46,324
As drag goes, that is
completely unconvincing.

456
00:25:46,349 --> 00:25:47,559
He needs a good shave!

457
00:25:47,584 --> 00:25:50,541
Look at the five o'clock
shadow, he's so manly.

458
00:25:50,566 --> 00:25:52,465
I'm the only one who is.

459
00:25:53,424 --> 00:25:55,356
She's camper than me.

460
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,723
That cold came back, Juan Pablo.

461
00:26:02,304 --> 00:26:04,135
Do you remember, he had
that silly little cough

462
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:07,044
when the airline went
bust, then again in April,

463
00:26:07,144 --> 00:26:08,270
now it's back.

464
00:26:09,379 --> 00:26:10,510
It's hard to tell though,

465
00:26:10,535 --> 00:26:12,934
he does make a three-act play of it.

466
00:26:14,544 --> 00:26:16,439
They've taken him into hospital.

467
00:26:16,464 --> 00:26:19,223
Oh, sorry.

468
00:26:20,310 --> 00:26:21,761
Is he all right?

469
00:26:22,624 --> 00:26:24,624
Yeah, fuss over nothing.

470
00:26:26,384 --> 00:26:28,124
They said it was pneumonia,

471
00:26:28,224 --> 00:26:29,439
then they said it was like something

472
00:26:29,464 --> 00:26:32,644
you get from birds in his lungs.

473
00:26:32,669 --> 00:26:33,519
They said it was strange,

474
00:26:33,544 --> 00:26:36,520
they said it was some kind of psittacosis.

475
00:26:36,832 --> 00:26:38,120
What, like you get in parrots?

476
00:26:38,145 --> 00:26:40,024
That's what they said.

477
00:26:40,824 --> 00:26:42,237
You haven't got a parrot, have you?

478
00:26:42,262 --> 00:26:44,384
Of course, we haven't
got a fucking parrot!

479
00:26:48,184 --> 00:26:49,959
She sat me down and she said,

480
00:26:49,984 --> 00:26:52,182
"Has he been in contact with any birds?"

481
00:26:52,207 --> 00:26:55,005
I said, "No." I mean, what
sort of question is that?

482
00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:56,257
Birds.

483
00:26:57,025 --> 00:26:59,265
But, people don't get
psittacosis, do they?

484
00:27:00,148 --> 00:27:01,715
I don't know.

485
00:27:02,844 --> 00:27:04,844
Except there he is.

486
00:27:08,704 --> 00:27:10,239
It's ridiculous.

487
00:27:13,745 --> 00:27:14,745
Hello, good morning.

488
00:27:14,770 --> 00:27:16,979
Oh, Colin, you'll have to work

489
00:27:17,004 --> 00:27:18,845
through your lunch I'm afraid.

490
00:27:18,870 --> 00:27:21,965
Mr. Coltrane's off sick,
so you'll have to cover.

491
00:27:21,990 --> 00:27:23,410
Is that all right?

492
00:27:23,510 --> 00:27:25,510
Yeah, that's fine. Thank you.

493
00:27:32,025 --> 00:27:33,376
I think the referee,

494
00:27:33,401 --> 00:27:36,277
Mr. Sims, is telling him, one more chance.

495
00:27:36,745 --> 00:27:37,800
So, a free-kick

496
00:27:37,825 --> 00:27:40,225
just outside the Rovers' box.

497
00:27:41,145 --> 00:27:43,525
Big guys are coming up from the back.

498
00:27:45,105 --> 00:27:47,045
Colin, this is Mr. Brewster.

499
00:27:47,145 --> 00:27:49,445
He'll be standing in for Mr. Coltrane,

500
00:27:49,545 --> 00:27:51,125
just till he gets better.

501
00:27:51,225 --> 00:27:53,512
Right. Hello.

502
00:28:15,105 --> 00:28:19,277
Henry? It's me, Colin!

503
00:28:39,226 --> 00:28:42,766
Mr. Brewster will be joining
us on a permanent basis

504
00:28:42,866 --> 00:28:45,006
to replace Mr. Coltrane.

505
00:28:45,031 --> 00:28:48,020
Welcome on board, you'll
make a very good team.

506
00:28:58,426 --> 00:29:01,286
You're wasting your time, love.

507
00:29:01,386 --> 00:29:04,526
He went into hospital last week. Henry.

508
00:29:04,626 --> 00:29:06,721
Ambulance. Four in the morning.

509
00:29:06,746 --> 00:29:08,406
Bad chest or something.

510
00:29:08,506 --> 00:29:10,286
Right, thanks.

511
00:29:10,386 --> 00:29:12,481
What about Juan Pablo?

512
00:29:12,506 --> 00:29:13,988
The other one, his friend.

513
00:29:14,013 --> 00:29:16,777
Bloody Argie. He can go home.

514
00:29:42,027 --> 00:29:45,402
Excuse me. I'm looking
for Henry Coltrane?

515
00:29:45,427 --> 00:29:46,767
They told me he was here.

516
00:29:46,792 --> 00:29:48,247
It's family only.

517
00:29:48,272 --> 00:29:51,007
I know, they said. I'm his nephew.

518
00:30:00,741 --> 00:30:02,473
Here we are.

519
00:30:29,747 --> 00:30:33,152
Henry? You have a visitor.

520
00:30:46,627 --> 00:30:48,487
They said it could have
been there for years,

521
00:30:48,512 --> 00:30:50,324
sitting on my chest.

522
00:30:50,654 --> 00:30:52,654
This bit popped up to have a look.

523
00:30:54,878 --> 00:30:56,239
And it's cancer?

524
00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,780
But why do I need all these?

525
00:31:00,028 --> 00:31:04,848
I mean, cancer's not infectious.

526
00:31:04,948 --> 00:31:07,688
It's to protect me, not you.

527
00:31:07,788 --> 00:31:09,788
- Oh.
- Idiot.

528
00:31:11,748 --> 00:31:15,448
Except, they said, it's odd, they said,

529
00:31:15,473 --> 00:31:20,559
"You'd expect this if you
were 90 or Jewish or Turkish."

530
00:31:23,668 --> 00:31:27,168
But it's not the
same thing as Juan Pablo?

531
00:31:27,193 --> 00:31:29,621
No. It's bad luck.

532
00:31:30,269 --> 00:31:32,784
Two of us getting sick at the same time.

533
00:31:34,471 --> 00:31:35,793
Where is he?

534
00:31:37,351 --> 00:31:38,816
He's gone

535
00:31:40,879 --> 00:31:42,426
to Portugal.

536
00:31:47,988 --> 00:31:49,988
His mother descended.

537
00:31:50,988 --> 00:31:53,805
"I'm taking him home." Hm.

538
00:31:54,148 --> 00:31:58,829
I've tried writing, but I
can't phone Portugal from here.

539
00:32:03,388 --> 00:32:04,907
I keep thinking,

540
00:32:07,188 --> 00:32:12,088
we had mold in the kitchen,
a little strip of mold.

541
00:32:14,113 --> 00:32:15,494
We had the damp course done,

542
00:32:15,519 --> 00:32:16,955
we had it replastered and painted it.

543
00:32:16,980 --> 00:32:18,909
I painted it with zinc.

544
00:32:19,742 --> 00:32:21,742
But it kept coming back.

545
00:32:23,589 --> 00:32:27,777
I was at war with this little strip.

546
00:32:31,231 --> 00:32:32,987
I just keep thinking,

547
00:32:35,532 --> 00:32:37,284
was it the mold?

548
00:32:41,434 --> 00:32:43,027
On the chest.

549
00:32:43,869 --> 00:32:45,855
Two of us just breathing it in.

550
00:32:52,149 --> 00:32:53,713
Lunch.

551
00:32:56,143 --> 00:32:57,205
Could you?

552
00:32:58,993 --> 00:33:00,674
Don't they bring it in?

553
00:33:01,918 --> 00:33:05,401
No. They do not.

554
00:33:24,789 --> 00:33:26,289
What time do you think you'll be back?

555
00:33:26,389 --> 00:33:27,929
I lock the front door at 10.

556
00:33:27,954 --> 00:33:30,667
I might not. I might stay out all night.

557
00:33:31,635 --> 00:33:33,034
Thank you.

558
00:33:52,310 --> 00:33:53,730
Now cheer the fuck up.

559
00:33:53,830 --> 00:33:55,830
You're dragging the whole place down.

560
00:34:10,630 --> 00:34:11,885
And did you see it?

561
00:34:11,910 --> 00:34:13,125
Did you see his shoe?

562
00:34:13,150 --> 00:34:14,485
Nevermind that
though, did you see his arse?

563
00:34:14,510 --> 00:34:16,930
I'm gonna let go!

564
00:34:16,955 --> 00:34:19,236
Stop it! Stop it, don't,
Gregory, don't talk to me!

565
00:34:19,261 --> 00:34:20,408
Gloria, don't be so fuckin' nuts.

566
00:34:20,433 --> 00:34:22,650
Get out the car then.

567
00:34:25,550 --> 00:34:26,674
Party rules.

568
00:34:26,699 --> 00:34:28,431
First choice on every boy is mine!

569
00:34:28,456 --> 00:34:30,810
Here we are, the Pink Palace.

570
00:34:30,910 --> 00:34:33,002
Just so you know, this
is not a house warming,

571
00:34:33,027 --> 00:34:35,130
we're gonna have a party every night.

572
00:34:35,155 --> 00:34:38,316
Here she is, she smelt the booze.

573
00:34:40,790 --> 00:34:42,365
Welcome to our new home.

574
00:34:42,390 --> 00:34:44,170
I love le Pally d'Pink.

575
00:34:45,390 --> 00:34:48,530
No, don't laugh, okay? I'm not kidding.

576
00:34:48,630 --> 00:34:50,010
Dad thinks I'm at choir.

577
00:34:50,110 --> 00:34:51,850
He'd kill me with his bare hands.

578
00:34:51,950 --> 00:34:54,970
But you, you must be crazy
sharing a flat with him.

579
00:34:55,070 --> 00:34:57,283
I know. But I had to move out of halls,

580
00:34:57,308 --> 00:34:59,338
I was getting complaints
with the banging headboard.

581
00:34:59,363 --> 00:35:00,728
And it's dirt cheap, this place,

582
00:35:00,753 --> 00:35:02,838
'cause I was working
on the house next door

583
00:35:02,863 --> 00:35:04,541
and Mr. Friedrichs said, "Oh,
we're looking for tenants."

584
00:35:04,566 --> 00:35:05,330
He screwed the landlord.

585
00:35:05,355 --> 00:35:06,299
- Oh!
- Mr. Freedicks.

586
00:35:06,324 --> 00:35:08,252
Your brother had the
landlord spinning on his nob

587
00:35:08,277 --> 00:35:09,411
like a battling top.

588
00:35:09,436 --> 00:35:10,366
Proud of you, boy.

589
00:35:10,391 --> 00:35:13,291
Okay, I confess, I did, I had him.

590
00:35:13,316 --> 00:35:14,494
- Oh, my God.
- In here.

591
00:35:14,519 --> 00:35:15,931
- Oh, my God.
- Bum in the air, right there.

592
00:35:15,956 --> 00:35:16,963
Oh, stop it!

593
00:35:16,988 --> 00:35:18,697
But it's brilliant
because Jill and I said,

594
00:35:18,722 --> 00:35:19,830
"Let's find somewhere together."

595
00:35:19,855 --> 00:35:20,731
Oh, "Jill and I."

596
00:35:20,831 --> 00:35:21,711
Jill and I, your lordship.

597
00:35:21,791 --> 00:35:24,079
But we did, we were
looking and then Ash said,

598
00:35:24,104 --> 00:35:25,196
"Well, I'll move in with you."

599
00:35:25,221 --> 00:35:27,611
And Ritchie said, "You can
share my bed, Ashy, please."

600
00:35:27,711 --> 00:35:29,046
No way, never again.

601
00:35:29,071 --> 00:35:31,451
Been there, done it, spat it out.

602
00:35:31,476 --> 00:35:34,131
Pass me another boy, this one's split.

603
00:35:34,156 --> 00:35:35,971
Oh, Baxter, you're filthy.

604
00:35:35,996 --> 00:35:37,771
So, thank you, Mr. Freedicks.

605
00:35:37,871 --> 00:35:39,165
This place is only 20 quid a week,

606
00:35:39,190 --> 00:35:40,211
all thanks to your brother's penis.

607
00:35:40,311 --> 00:35:42,131
25 until we fill that spare bed.

608
00:35:42,231 --> 00:35:43,696
Oh, just move in with us, Gloria.

609
00:35:43,721 --> 00:35:44,891
In this tip? Are you kidding?

610
00:35:44,991 --> 00:35:46,131
I've got a council flat.

611
00:35:46,231 --> 00:35:49,211
The people pissing in my lift
do so with love and care.

612
00:35:49,311 --> 00:35:50,546
It's practically intimate.

613
00:35:50,571 --> 00:35:52,011
Why do you
call it the Pink Palace?

614
00:35:52,111 --> 00:35:53,593
Is that the name of a club or something?

615
00:35:53,618 --> 00:35:54,571
No.

616
00:35:54,596 --> 00:35:56,233
Mummy dearest brought little Ritchie

617
00:35:56,258 --> 00:35:58,438
lots of things from home and look,

618
00:35:59,631 --> 00:36:00,971
she brought him this.

619
00:36:01,071 --> 00:36:02,265
Camp or what?

620
00:36:02,290 --> 00:36:04,251
It's pinker than my dick.

621
00:36:04,351 --> 00:36:05,091
Oh!

622
00:36:06,471 --> 00:36:07,971
Darling.

623
00:36:38,112 --> 00:36:40,287
Oh, for God's sake! Can you two...

624
00:36:40,312 --> 00:36:41,367
I thought it was over!

625
00:36:41,392 --> 00:36:43,392
Old times' sake.

626
00:36:44,912 --> 00:36:47,772
Oh, dirty!

627
00:36:47,872 --> 00:36:50,366
The government knows
all about it, right,

628
00:36:50,391 --> 00:36:51,652
and they're keeping it quiet,

629
00:36:51,752 --> 00:36:55,252
'cause there's a strain of flu
and it affects only gay men

630
00:36:55,352 --> 00:36:56,372
and it kills them.

631
00:36:56,472 --> 00:36:58,972
It's called GRID, it started in America

632
00:36:58,997 --> 00:37:00,230
and it's coming over here.

633
00:37:00,255 --> 00:37:03,652
You can't have a gay flu and
no one dies of flu anymore.

634
00:37:03,752 --> 00:37:05,378
They're dying in San Francisco.

635
00:37:05,403 --> 00:37:06,852
My friend said it's a plague.

636
00:37:06,952 --> 00:37:09,772
Don't be ridiculous. That
would be all over the news.

637
00:37:09,797 --> 00:37:10,769
I've gotta be honest,

638
00:37:10,794 --> 00:37:12,292
I think you're being a little bit rude.

639
00:37:12,392 --> 00:37:13,812
Dracula!

640
00:37:13,912 --> 00:37:16,372
Take me to your castle,
hot stuff. Come on!

641
00:37:16,472 --> 00:37:20,367
Ladies and gentlemen, and you, Gregory,

642
00:37:20,392 --> 00:37:24,212
pray gather hereupon for
the star turn of the night,

643
00:37:24,312 --> 00:37:30,567
I give you Miss Rachel Tozer!

644
00:37:36,072 --> 00:37:38,049
Oh, my God!

645
00:37:38,074 --> 00:37:39,992
Rachel. He's Rachel.

646
00:37:41,153 --> 00:37:43,277
He looks like Nana Mouskouri.

647
00:37:46,953 --> 00:37:49,488
Please, my people. Silencio!

648
00:37:49,513 --> 00:37:51,253
I would like to give you a song.

649
00:37:59,073 --> 00:38:00,013
? La ?

650
00:38:00,113 --> 00:38:00,973
- Right!
- Okay!

651
00:38:01,073 --> 00:38:03,493
Is that it?

652
00:38:08,713 --> 00:38:10,733
Bravo!

653
00:38:19,353 --> 00:38:22,533
Sorry, but that girl, like, Jill,

654
00:38:22,558 --> 00:38:24,633
did she say this place had a spare room?

655
00:38:25,593 --> 00:38:27,533
It's a spare bed, not a spare room.

656
00:38:27,558 --> 00:38:28,783
It means sharing with me,

657
00:38:28,808 --> 00:38:30,213
but I don't mind 'cause
I'm out most nights.

658
00:38:30,313 --> 00:38:32,333
And if it lowers the rent, I'd
share with Mary Whitehouse.

659
00:38:32,433 --> 00:38:33,173
What do you think?

660
00:38:33,273 --> 00:38:34,773
Well, I'd like it very much.

661
00:38:34,873 --> 00:38:36,056
I can give you a reference.

662
00:38:36,081 --> 00:38:38,133
Sod that. It's an 80 quid deposit, cash.

663
00:38:38,233 --> 00:38:39,693
- Have you got it?
- Yeah.

664
00:38:39,793 --> 00:38:42,493
Girls, the rent's back down to 20 quid!

665
00:38:42,593 --> 00:38:44,093
Gladys Pugh's moving in.

666
00:38:44,193 --> 00:38:46,897
Woo-hoo! Nice one, Roscoe.

667
00:39:06,834 --> 00:39:08,834
Did you see?

668
00:40:24,155 --> 00:40:27,175
It's a highly
complicated, giant molecule.

669
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:29,675
Hey, man, that's well wicked.

670
00:41:15,155 --> 00:41:16,255
La!

671
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:17,244
La!

672
00:41:18,675 --> 00:41:20,695
Break a leg, Rachel.

673
00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:22,795
Thanks, Bill.

674
00:41:23,319 --> 00:41:24,410
See you.

675
00:41:24,435 --> 00:41:26,435
- Yeah, good luck.
- And you.

676
00:41:28,315 --> 00:41:29,615
See you later.

677
00:41:29,715 --> 00:41:30,615
La!

678
00:41:30,715 --> 00:41:31,615
Oh.

679
00:41:31,715 --> 00:41:33,095
La!

680
00:41:33,195 --> 00:41:35,608
- Good luck, Gladys.
- Thanks.

681
00:41:42,635 --> 00:41:44,136
- La!
- La.

682
00:41:44,161 --> 00:41:45,301
Wish me luck.

683
00:41:45,326 --> 00:41:46,600
Good luck.

684
00:42:06,941 --> 00:42:08,889
_

685
00:42:09,409 --> 00:42:10,888
Have you seen this?

686
00:42:13,784 --> 00:42:14,982
Ritchie.

687
00:42:16,373 --> 00:42:17,331
Thanks for coming.

688
00:42:17,356 --> 00:42:19,670
Oh, my God, no, thank you.

689
00:42:20,584 --> 00:42:21,567
Morning.

690
00:42:21,592 --> 00:42:23,356
Oh, good morning, Colin.

691
00:42:27,436 --> 00:42:28,776
Ta-da!

692
00:42:28,876 --> 00:42:30,294
- Hi.
- You're late.

693
00:42:30,319 --> 00:42:31,736
- Give us a minute.
- Sure.

694
00:42:31,836 --> 00:42:34,216
To be honest, it might be a little soon

695
00:42:34,316 --> 00:42:37,216
to be looking for an agent,
but still, I have to ask.

696
00:42:37,316 --> 00:42:40,616
If I were to represent you
and the right job came along,

697
00:42:40,716 --> 00:42:41,936
would you consider leaving college?

698
00:42:42,036 --> 00:42:43,240
Oh, yes.

699
00:42:43,265 --> 00:42:45,016
Bang, done.

700
00:42:45,116 --> 00:42:46,616
- Yes.
- It's been a year.

701
00:42:46,716 --> 00:42:49,336
Now, just thought we'd
assess where we are.

702
00:42:49,436 --> 00:42:51,136
Happy, on the whole.

703
00:42:51,236 --> 00:42:53,131
You've got that tendency to drift off,

704
00:42:53,156 --> 00:42:54,536
I've warned you about that.

705
00:42:54,573 --> 00:42:57,365
And you could be more
assertive. What do you think?

706
00:42:58,636 --> 00:42:59,376
Yes, sir.

707
00:42:59,401 --> 00:43:01,936
I said, "You could be more-"

708
00:43:01,961 --> 00:43:03,216
Yes, sir!

709
00:43:03,316 --> 00:43:04,417
It's a proper job.

710
00:43:04,517 --> 00:43:06,097
I need someone to run the whole thing.

711
00:43:06,197 --> 00:43:07,937
Bookings, strippers, drag nights,

712
00:43:08,037 --> 00:43:09,577
and my worry is, are you a stupid tit

713
00:43:09,677 --> 00:43:11,377
who's gonna run off with my money?

714
00:43:11,402 --> 00:43:12,452
Damn, got me.

715
00:43:12,477 --> 00:43:16,257
So, where do you see
yourself in five years' time?

716
00:43:16,357 --> 00:43:18,777
10 years' time, what
do you want to be doing?

717
00:43:18,802 --> 00:43:21,267
What you gonna do when you're older?

718
00:43:21,997 --> 00:43:23,172
What's the plan?

719
00:43:23,197 --> 00:43:26,217
Oh, my God, I want everything.

720
00:43:26,317 --> 00:43:28,910
West End, I want my name in lights,

721
00:43:28,935 --> 00:43:31,092
big movie posters with me on them.

722
00:43:31,117 --> 00:43:32,217
I don't know.

723
00:43:32,317 --> 00:43:34,337
10 years' time,

724
00:43:34,437 --> 00:43:36,217
I'd be happy still working here.

725
00:43:36,317 --> 00:43:41,297
You wait. Give me five, six
years, I'll be stinking rich.

726
00:43:41,397 --> 00:43:44,497
No, as long as I can
find work, I don't care.

727
00:43:44,597 --> 00:43:47,097
Theater, little bit of TV.

728
00:43:47,197 --> 00:43:49,207
I could be that man in
the background shouting,

729
00:43:49,232 --> 00:43:50,332
"Let him go!"

730
00:43:50,357 --> 00:43:51,857
Every single teacher I ever had,

731
00:43:51,957 --> 00:43:54,497
I wanna drive past them
in my big, shiny car,

732
00:43:54,597 --> 00:43:55,977
like, "Fuck you."

733
00:43:56,077 --> 00:43:57,777
I wanna do good work.

734
00:43:57,877 --> 00:44:01,906
I wanna learn everything,
like Mr. Coltrane taught me.

735
00:44:02,597 --> 00:44:06,577
Donegal Tweed, they make
the dye out of blackberries.

736
00:44:06,602 --> 00:44:08,302
It's so beautiful.

737
00:44:56,989 --> 00:44:58,989
I just wanna be happy.

738
00:44:59,813 --> 00:45:06,328
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