1
00:00:00,507 --> 00:00:03,703
Alexa, what's the temperature
in Sacramento?

2
00:00:03,805 --> 00:00:06,205
The weather today in Sacramento is sunny

3
00:00:06,281 --> 00:00:08,983
with a forecasted high of 71 degrees.

4
00:00:09,073 --> 00:00:11,008
That's my capital city.

5
00:00:11,042 --> 00:00:14,344
Alexa, play a song about
Sacramento, California.

6
00:00:14,379 --> 00:00:18,415
I'm sorry. I don't know any songs
about Sacramento, California.

7
00:00:18,449 --> 00:00:20,484
Whoa. Then let's make one up.

8
00:00:20,518 --> 00:00:23,020
? I'm packing for the Sac' ?

9
00:00:23,054 --> 00:00:25,022
? Sweet Sacramento ?

10
00:00:25,056 --> 00:00:26,523
? There's no takin' it back ?

11
00:00:26,558 --> 00:00:30,561
? Do me right, Sacramento ?

12
00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:33,230
? Hooo, yeah ?

13
00:00:33,264 --> 00:00:36,366
- Alexa, what's the population...
- Sorry, Arpi.

14
00:00:36,401 --> 00:00:38,677
I really need to get
my kids' breakfast now.

15
00:00:38,702 --> 00:00:40,670
Of course. Sorry, Alexa.

16
00:00:40,695 --> 00:00:42,511
I'm just excited 'cause I'm going to...

17
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,869
Sacramento. I know.

18
00:00:44,894 --> 00:00:47,021
Jeez.

19
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:55,796
The parks department finally cleaned

20
00:00:55,831 --> 00:00:57,431
the bat guano off the Hollywood sign

21
00:00:57,466 --> 00:01:00,134
and returned it
to its original orange color.

22
00:01:00,168 --> 00:01:02,125
- Sorry I'm late.
- Good morning, Mr. Mayor.

23
00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:03,204
How was your weekend?

24
00:01:03,238 --> 00:01:05,606
Oh, I had a fantastic weekend with Orly.

25
00:01:05,641 --> 00:01:08,476
We went to Huntington Gardens
for the honey festival.

26
00:01:08,510 --> 00:01:09,477
So nice.

27
00:01:09,511 --> 00:01:10,959
Okay. Where was I?

28
00:01:10,984 --> 00:01:12,747
They have this thing
where you get to decorate

29
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,215
a little tote bag,

30
00:01:14,256 --> 00:01:16,157
and then you get to keep the tote bag.

31
00:01:16,184 --> 00:01:19,320
- Your life is a movie, sir.
- Next item.

32
00:01:19,354 --> 00:01:22,189
This is a heat map
of violent crimes and...

33
00:01:23,525 --> 00:01:25,835
- Sir, you're AirPlaying your phone.
- I know.

34
00:01:25,860 --> 00:01:28,562
I want to show everybody
a picture of the tote bag.

35
00:01:28,597 --> 00:01:30,264
Ooh, a bee apartment.

36
00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:32,733
Okay, uh, other items while we wait.

37
00:01:32,768 --> 00:01:34,835
Deputy Mayor Meskimen and Mr. Kwapis

38
00:01:34,870 --> 00:01:36,504
will be driving up to Sacramento

39
00:01:36,538 --> 00:01:39,173
to present our
anti-oil-drilling initiative.

40
00:01:39,207 --> 00:01:41,709
Los Angeles has over
a thousand drilling sites,

41
00:01:41,743 --> 00:01:44,345
many within a hundred yards
of schools and homes.

42
00:01:44,379 --> 00:01:46,147
I was pleasantly shocked

43
00:01:46,181 --> 00:01:47,548
when Mayor Bremer agreed with my plan...

44
00:01:47,582 --> 00:01:48,983
Oil's dumb.

45
00:01:49,017 --> 00:01:50,077
We're California.

46
00:01:50,102 --> 00:01:51,686
We should be leading the way
on this stuff.

47
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,689
Solar power, wind, fire power...

48
00:01:54,722 --> 00:01:57,357
Is that a thing? 'Cause fires we got.

49
00:01:57,392 --> 00:01:59,260
If I can convince the governor

50
00:01:59,294 --> 00:02:00,861
to prioritize the health
of our communities...

51
00:02:00,896 --> 00:02:03,230
Oh, there it is. Tote bag.

52
00:02:03,265 --> 00:02:04,799
Oh, she is majestic.

53
00:02:06,802 --> 00:02:07,893
Wait, what's happening?

54
00:02:07,918 --> 00:02:09,364
- I think your daughter's school is calling.
- It's a phone call, sir.

55
00:02:09,404 --> 00:02:11,372
Oh, yeah. Hello?

56
00:02:11,406 --> 00:02:13,874
We'll have to turn your phone
off AirPlay, sir.

57
00:02:13,909 --> 00:02:15,843
Well, the screen is the phone now.

58
00:02:15,877 --> 00:02:17,411
Hello? Mayor Bremer here.

59
00:02:17,446 --> 00:02:20,214
Hello? Can you hear the mayor?

60
00:02:20,248 --> 00:02:23,351
Suspended? That doesn't sound like Orly.

61
00:02:23,385 --> 00:02:24,585
All right. I'll be right there.

62
00:02:24,619 --> 00:02:26,020
Sir?

63
00:02:26,054 --> 00:02:27,722
- Sir, quick question.
- Not now, Jayden.

64
00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:29,490
I'm scared to be in a car
with Ms. Meskimen.

65
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:30,725
You'll be fine.

66
00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:32,226
But the trip is six hours, sir,

67
00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:33,367
and I don't know what
we're gonna talk about.

68
00:02:33,392 --> 00:02:35,646
Jayden, how am I the one
you're asking about this?

69
00:02:35,671 --> 00:02:37,231
You're the only one
I can walk as fast as.

70
00:02:37,256 --> 00:02:38,733
Ask her questions about herself.

71
00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:40,534
People love talking about themselves.

72
00:02:40,559 --> 00:02:41,836
Great. What kind of questions?

73
00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:43,804
I don't know. Icebreakers.

74
00:02:43,829 --> 00:02:45,046
Conversation starters.

75
00:02:45,071 --> 00:02:46,633
You know.
Google it, for crying out loud.

76
00:02:46,675 --> 00:02:48,142
Will do.

77
00:02:48,176 --> 00:02:50,144
And somebody turned on the long legs.

78
00:02:52,681 --> 00:02:55,283
Here at Gregory, we take online behavior

79
00:02:55,317 --> 00:02:57,652
as seriously as we do sock height.

80
00:02:57,686 --> 00:03:00,554
And it seems Orly is part of a group

81
00:03:00,589 --> 00:03:04,225
that was using social media
to bully a teacher.

82
00:03:04,259 --> 00:03:06,260
Can children bully adults?

83
00:03:06,295 --> 00:03:07,828
'Cause in my day,

84
00:03:07,863 --> 00:03:10,197
teachers could hit us
with a closed fist.

85
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:13,434
Allow me to read a few
of the offending comments.

86
00:03:13,468 --> 00:03:15,436
"Ms. Adams is like if the water

87
00:03:15,470 --> 00:03:17,672
at the top of a yogurt were a person."

88
00:03:17,706 --> 00:03:19,774
"Ms. Adams took a DNA test.

89
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:23,177
Turns out she is 100% russet potato."

90
00:03:23,211 --> 00:03:25,346
Like the song.

91
00:03:25,380 --> 00:03:27,748
No, of course.
That's... that is terrible.

92
00:03:27,783 --> 00:03:30,751
But my posts
are all defending Ms. Adams.

93
00:03:30,786 --> 00:03:32,386
Guys, stop.

94
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:33,721
I think it's feminist

95
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,356
that she dances alone at our formals.

96
00:03:35,390 --> 00:03:36,691
You're wrong.

97
00:03:36,725 --> 00:03:39,527
It's so brave that she brought
her gerbils on Family Day.

98
00:03:39,561 --> 00:03:42,196
If Ms. Adams were a man,
society would praise her

99
00:03:42,230 --> 00:03:43,397
for having a front bulge in her pants.

100
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:44,699
That's enough, Orly.

101
00:03:44,733 --> 00:03:46,334
Sorry, Ms. Adams.

102
00:03:46,368 --> 00:03:47,768
You're Ms. Adams?

103
00:03:47,803 --> 00:03:50,304
Is what I tell people,
'cause I know that.

104
00:03:50,339 --> 00:03:53,641
Look, Ms. Adams,
Orly was just being kind.

105
00:03:53,675 --> 00:03:56,377
Don't you think the other girls
are to blame here?

106
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:04,118
Fair enough.
Orly, you are not suspended.

107
00:04:04,152 --> 00:04:06,387
Thank you, Ms. Adams.

108
00:04:06,421 --> 00:04:09,023
Yes, thank you, Ms. Adams,
and can I just say,

109
00:04:09,057 --> 00:04:10,124
I love what you're doing
with the white stripe.

110
00:04:10,158 --> 00:04:11,559
- Don't.
- Oh, yes.

111
00:04:11,593 --> 00:04:13,427
I was touched by a ghost.

112
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:16,664
Yep. Well, uh, goodbye.

113
00:04:16,698 --> 00:04:19,467
I knew I didn't have to worry about you.

114
00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:21,736
You're a good kid. Proud of you.

115
00:04:21,770 --> 00:04:24,572
Since I'm such a good kid,
can I have money

116
00:04:24,606 --> 00:04:26,207
to go to the movies with Ceviche later?

117
00:04:26,241 --> 00:04:28,042
What are you guys seeing?

118
00:04:28,076 --> 00:04:29,877
"Stab Massacre 2."

119
00:04:29,911 --> 00:04:31,746
"Stab Massacre 2?"

120
00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:32,913
No way.

121
00:04:32,948 --> 00:04:34,749
Scary movies give you nightmares.

122
00:04:34,783 --> 00:04:36,584
You remember when that guy
in front of you on the plane

123
00:04:36,618 --> 00:04:38,252
was watching "It"

124
00:04:38,286 --> 00:04:39,820
and then we had to cancel
your birthday party?

125
00:04:39,855 --> 00:04:41,789
- Come on.
- Okay, fine.

126
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,457
But I'm keeping the hundo.

127
00:04:45,193 --> 00:04:46,694
Just like her mother.

128
00:04:54,803 --> 00:04:56,904
Sorry I don't have a radio.

129
00:04:56,938 --> 00:04:58,906
It got stolen by the guys
that live in my car at night.

130
00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:01,609
It's fine. I got a lot on my mind.

131
00:05:05,814 --> 00:05:08,416
So I'm making coffee.
Would you like some?

132
00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:09,517
What's that now?

133
00:05:09,551 --> 00:05:12,586
I mean, what is your dream day?

134
00:05:12,621 --> 00:05:13,921
Honestly? This.

135
00:05:13,955 --> 00:05:15,890
Taking an important issue
to the governor,

136
00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:17,691
serving my constituency.

137
00:05:17,726 --> 00:05:19,794
Now, normally, the deputy mayor
would not be dispatched

138
00:05:19,828 --> 00:05:21,395
to do a job this big,

139
00:05:21,430 --> 00:05:23,330
so either the mayor does not know this,

140
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,866
or else he's giving me rope
to hang myself.

141
00:05:25,901 --> 00:05:27,701
Tomorrow will either be the greatest

142
00:05:27,736 --> 00:05:29,670
or worst day of my life.

143
00:05:31,573 --> 00:05:32,840
What's your favorite salty food?

144
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,308
Bran flakes.

145
00:05:34,342 --> 00:05:35,609
They have more sodium than you think.

146
00:05:35,644 --> 00:05:37,645
What do you value most in a friendship?

147
00:05:37,679 --> 00:05:39,814
Mutual respect. Sacrifice.

148
00:05:39,848 --> 00:05:41,816
Similar milk preferences.

149
00:05:41,850 --> 00:05:44,057
Wow, you give all
of your answers so fast.

150
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:44,915
I think it's important

151
00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:46,854
to know your stance on everything.

152
00:05:48,857 --> 00:05:51,725
Well, I got the best kid
in all of Los Angeles.

153
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:52,927
That's great, sir.

154
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:54,094
We have a budget meeting in two minutes.

155
00:05:54,129 --> 00:05:56,697
A bunch of girls were making
fun of a potato teacher

156
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,265
on Instagram media,

157
00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:00,935
but Orly was saying
nice things in her postings.

158
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:03,604
Huh, I follow Orly on Instagram,

159
00:06:03,638 --> 00:06:06,340
and she hasn't posted anything
about any teachers.

160
00:06:06,374 --> 00:06:07,432
- Really?
- Hm.

161
00:06:07,457 --> 00:06:09,944
Sir, did you happen to catch
the screen name on her post?

162
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,846
By the circle, sir.

163
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,781
Something with a P. I don't...

164
00:06:13,815 --> 00:06:16,150
The account she gave me is OrlyBGrammin.

165
00:06:16,184 --> 00:06:18,219
- She has a finsta.
- What's a finsta?

166
00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:20,688
It's just an account that kids make

167
00:06:20,722 --> 00:06:22,690
under a fake name
so they can post silly things

168
00:06:22,724 --> 00:06:24,124
they don't want their parents to see.

169
00:06:24,159 --> 00:06:26,527
I wanna see it.
Tell her to let me see it.

170
00:06:26,561 --> 00:06:29,830
Bad idea, sir.
A little separation is healthy.

171
00:06:29,865 --> 00:06:31,532
Orly and I don't have secrets.

172
00:06:31,566 --> 00:06:34,802
I read her the American Girl
Doll puberty book.

173
00:06:34,836 --> 00:06:36,504
So gross, but I did it.

174
00:06:36,538 --> 00:06:38,606
When she told me her celebrity crush,

175
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:39,907
I stood with her in the front row

176
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,475
of a Shawn Mendes concert.

177
00:06:41,510 --> 00:06:42,810
Everyone thought I was a pedophile.

178
00:06:42,844 --> 00:06:46,060
I know, but we really have
to figure out this budget, sir.

179
00:06:46,085 --> 00:06:48,525
Apparently, the city's Discover card
has hit its limit,

180
00:06:48,550 --> 00:06:50,551
and some bitch is calling,
like, every day.

181
00:06:51,887 --> 00:06:53,387
Don't listen to her, Mr. Mayor.

182
00:06:53,421 --> 00:06:54,755
Finstas ruin lives.

183
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,023
My sister's cousin had a finsta,

184
00:06:56,057 --> 00:06:57,725
and pictures of her in her bra

185
00:06:57,759 --> 00:06:59,727
got turned into a devastating
meme about sadness.

186
00:06:59,761 --> 00:07:01,896
How's your sister's cousin
not also your cousin?

187
00:07:01,930 --> 00:07:02,730
Sir, you're missing the point.

188
00:07:02,764 --> 00:07:04,331
You need to know what Orly's posting

189
00:07:04,366 --> 00:07:06,433
before she embarrasses the city.

190
00:07:07,402 --> 00:07:08,969
So true.

191
00:07:09,004 --> 00:07:10,337
For the city.

192
00:07:12,607 --> 00:07:14,208
If you want me to hack
your daughter's finsta,

193
00:07:14,242 --> 00:07:17,745
say nothing and just be,
like, so tall and leave.

194
00:07:25,223 --> 00:07:26,535
If you could have a dinner party

195
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,023
with anyone, living or dead...

196
00:07:28,119 --> 00:07:30,929
Eleanor Roosevelt,
her girlfriend, Lorena Hickok,

197
00:07:31,016 --> 00:07:33,304
and Wayne Brady,
'cause he just cracks me up.

198
00:07:33,367 --> 00:07:35,502
What is your fondest memory?

199
00:07:35,544 --> 00:07:38,765
Seeing a bachelorette party
fall off a haunted hayride.

200
00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:40,072
What's your greatest fear?

201
00:07:40,151 --> 00:07:42,488
Holes. Clusters of holes.

202
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,162
- What?
- It's called trypophobia.

203
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,565
Basically, when I see
a cut-open pomegranate

204
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,700
or an empty Connect Four grid,

205
00:07:48,734 --> 00:07:51,069
to my mind, it looks
like diseased flesh.

206
00:07:51,103 --> 00:07:56,208
I almost fainted today when
Neil showed that... honeycomb.

207
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:59,099
Ooh, a bee apartment.

208
00:07:59,982 --> 00:08:02,147
I was feeling so good till then.

209
00:08:02,173 --> 00:08:04,408
You think Bremer did that
to mess with me?

210
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:07,285
He could have access
to my psychological evaluation.

211
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,653
What? No.

212
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:11,556
Are you crazy?
Showed you a bunch of holes?

213
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,525
Just a bunch of close-together holes?

214
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:15,594
- Talk about something else.
- Okay.

215
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,763
Would you like to make
eye contact for four minutes?

216
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,565
Sure.

217
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:28,406
You're starting to drift
into the oncoming lane.

218
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,108
Yep.

219
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,847
I told Mikaela I had to step out

220
00:08:35,881 --> 00:08:37,382
to take an important call.

221
00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:39,451
What? My handyman is dead?

222
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:41,152
How's it going?

223
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,755
Okay, so I cross-referenced
Orly's public profile

224
00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:45,423
with her friends and who they follow,

225
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:46,691
then narrowed it down
to just the privates.

226
00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:49,561
@MzAdamsIzGross. @SpudHag.

227
00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:52,430
@PearlSquirrel05. That's Orly.

228
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,932
- Are you sure?
- Yes.

229
00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:57,235
Her middle name is Pearl,
she was born in 2005,

230
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,771
and her Harry Potter animal's
a squirrel.

231
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:01,306
Man, I feel like an NCIS.

232
00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:02,641
Great. Okay.

233
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,276
So our next step
is to make our own fake account

234
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:05,410
so that we can get in with these girls.

235
00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:06,611
What should her name be?

236
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:07,812
Nancy.

237
00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:09,214
No one under 60 is named Nancy.

238
00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:10,882
- Aisha.
- Stay in your lane, sir.

239
00:09:10,916 --> 00:09:12,651
Caswell. Renness.

240
00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:14,197
I'm not a writer.

241
00:09:14,222 --> 00:09:15,487
Kyla. No, Kylus.

242
00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:17,756
Great. So, Emma.

243
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:19,858
Let's do this.

244
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,650
Made a sammy. #adulting.

245
00:09:33,099 --> 00:09:35,855
Gonna take a picture of...

246
00:09:37,115 --> 00:09:39,733
My heart! Can you believe?!

247
00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:48,453
My God. It looks like legs.

248
00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:49,954
I don't know what's real anymore.

249
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:52,223
Is "Sports Illustrated" Swimsuit Edition

250
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,259
just toilet hot dogs?

251
00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:58,396
So now Emma DMs @PearlSquirrel05,

252
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,831
and we wait.

253
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,500
My world is upside down,

254
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:06,504
and honestly, it's thrilling.

255
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,273
And here's your key, ma'am.

256
00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:12,711
Jayden, thank you for
your conversation in the car.

257
00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:15,513
You really distracted me
from my nerves about tomorrow.

258
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:16,981
You are super welky.

259
00:10:17,016 --> 00:10:18,750
It was a pleasure breaking ice with you.

260
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,487
Hey.

261
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:23,488
You wanna meet up in a little bit

262
00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:24,756
and maybe get some dinner

263
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,524
and take the "Lady Bird" walking tour?

264
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:27,826
As long as it's not as scary
as the movie.

265
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:31,963
Wow.

266
00:10:31,997 --> 00:10:33,865
You're not gonna believe it,
but just this morning,

267
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:35,700
that lady and I barely knew each other.

268
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,402
But now I know that
her biggest regret in life

269
00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:38,570
is that she accidentally clapped

270
00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:40,372
when the "Challenger" exploded.

271
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,273
And it's all because of
these icebreakers I downloaded.

272
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,775
Where'd you get 'em?

273
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,577
I'm always looking for new ways
to seem normal.

274
00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:49,080
I just searched icebreakers,
and I found 78Questions.com.

275
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,982
"The 78 questions you ask someone

276
00:10:51,016 --> 00:10:52,450
when you want to fall in love."

277
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,352
Oh, no.

278
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:55,954
Oh, boy.

279
00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:59,958
Hey. You ready to hit the Sac'?

280
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,026
Okay. We need to talk.

281
00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:05,397
I know that it got heavy in the car,

282
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,665
but, ma'am, don't fall in love with me.

283
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:08,908
What?

284
00:11:08,933 --> 00:11:10,735
I just found out that
those questions were designed

285
00:11:10,761 --> 00:11:12,018
to make people fall in love,

286
00:11:12,043 --> 00:11:13,838
and when you shared with me
that your ideal man

287
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:16,741
was '80s James Brolin,
frankly, I got worried.

288
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,623
We are not in love, Mr. Kwapis.

289
00:11:18,648 --> 00:11:21,398
And you, sir, are no
"Amityville Horror" James Brolin.

290
00:11:21,423 --> 00:11:23,615
Technically, that's '79, but whatever.

291
00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:24,949
Cool.

292
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:26,618
It's just that I think
that we are better off

293
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:28,467
as really good friends.

294
00:11:28,492 --> 00:11:30,922
We're not even friends.
Friends have a shorthand.

295
00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:32,891
Friends make sacrifices for each other

296
00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:34,559
and have a deep understanding.

297
00:11:34,593 --> 00:11:35,894
I don't think
we're understanding each other

298
00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:37,247
at all in this moment, do you?

299
00:11:37,324 --> 00:11:39,031
I mean, sure, I could eat.

300
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:42,620
Sir, we're in.

301
00:11:42,698 --> 00:11:44,518
Orly accepted Emma's request.

302
00:11:44,573 --> 00:11:46,307
What are you finding? Vapes?

303
00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:47,597
Tattoos?

304
00:11:47,622 --> 00:11:49,019
It's actually mostly just selfies.

305
00:11:49,114 --> 00:11:51,269
What I'm looking for is
red flag slang in the captions.

306
00:11:51,332 --> 00:11:52,785
So, smash means hooking up.

307
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,098
Dexing is abusing cough syrup.
GOW is gay on the weekend.

308
00:11:55,137 --> 00:11:57,172
Seven 8s in a row is a human centipede.

309
00:11:57,197 --> 00:11:59,401
What... what's boron? Is that a drug?

310
00:11:59,426 --> 00:12:02,269
She said she's finally done
with this boron nightmare.

311
00:12:02,303 --> 00:12:03,837
I think she's just bragging
about finishing

312
00:12:03,871 --> 00:12:05,072
her chemistry project early.

313
00:12:05,106 --> 00:12:07,708
- What's TFW?
- "That feeling when."

314
00:12:07,742 --> 00:12:10,677
That feeling when your dad
drags you to Huntington Gardens

315
00:12:10,712 --> 00:12:12,012
for the millionth time.

316
00:12:12,046 --> 00:12:14,414
But why is it a picture of a
sloth giving the middle finger?

317
00:12:14,449 --> 00:12:16,383
She loves it when I take her there.

318
00:12:16,417 --> 00:12:18,885
Mr. Mayor, I'm sorry
about your handyman, but...

319
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,287
wait.

320
00:12:20,321 --> 00:12:22,256
Why did you slam your laptop
shut when I came in?

321
00:12:22,290 --> 00:12:23,190
What? We're studying.

322
00:12:23,224 --> 00:12:25,292
Are you on Instagram?

323
00:12:25,326 --> 00:12:27,294
Tommy felt it was important to access

324
00:12:27,328 --> 00:12:29,863
Orly's private account
for security reasons.

325
00:12:29,897 --> 00:12:33,367
So we are Emma, a junior at Marlborough.

326
00:12:33,401 --> 00:12:36,003
We do orchestra.
We're confident, but not cocky.

327
00:12:36,037 --> 00:12:38,405
You helped the mayor
create a fake account

328
00:12:38,439 --> 00:12:40,741
impersonating a teenage girl?

329
00:12:40,775 --> 00:12:42,676
Where did you get this profile picture?

330
00:12:42,710 --> 00:12:45,112
We Googled "cute high school
field hockey blonde."

331
00:12:45,146 --> 00:12:47,114
From government servers?

332
00:12:47,148 --> 00:12:48,315
Well, when you say it like that...

333
00:12:48,349 --> 00:12:50,317
Also, do you know
what "squat" means now?

334
00:12:50,351 --> 00:12:51,785
Because tangerine seltzer squats,

335
00:12:51,819 --> 00:12:54,121
but also somehow HPV squats.

336
00:12:54,155 --> 00:12:57,190
Look, this is all my fault.
Orly is just acting out

337
00:12:57,225 --> 00:13:00,160
because I uprooted her life
with this mayor thing.

338
00:13:00,194 --> 00:13:02,029
I'm working crazy hours.

339
00:13:02,063 --> 00:13:04,164
I forced her to move into an old house

340
00:13:04,198 --> 00:13:07,067
that's outside
Sugarfish's delivery zone.

341
00:13:07,101 --> 00:13:11,738
I just need to reconnect...
on her level.

342
00:13:13,408 --> 00:13:17,077
And Emma showed me how to do that.

343
00:13:17,111 --> 00:13:20,814
I am gonna go home and
have dinner with her tonight.

344
00:13:22,850 --> 00:13:24,451
I'll be back later.

345
00:13:24,485 --> 00:13:26,269
Great work today, Tommy.

346
00:13:26,294 --> 00:13:28,683
How's that decision memo on SROs coming?

347
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:31,024
I don't wanna go back to being Tommy.

348
00:13:31,059 --> 00:13:33,160
Emma gets to go
to a Glossier pop-up tonight

349
00:13:33,194 --> 00:13:34,895
even though there's school tomorrow.

350
00:13:38,066 --> 00:13:41,268
So, what's Gucci, fam?

351
00:13:41,302 --> 00:13:44,738
Any VSCO girls stress you about cheddar?

352
00:13:44,772 --> 00:13:47,407
What? No.

353
00:13:47,442 --> 00:13:48,842
Perf.

354
00:13:48,876 --> 00:13:50,844
Dad, don't say perf.

355
00:13:50,878 --> 00:13:52,979
Mmm. TFW.

356
00:13:53,014 --> 00:13:55,482
That feeling when these tacos squat.

357
00:13:55,516 --> 00:13:57,017
You up?

358
00:13:57,051 --> 00:13:59,753
Dad, are you okay?
What's your middle name?

359
00:13:59,787 --> 00:14:01,288
What year do you think this is?

360
00:14:01,322 --> 00:14:02,556
I'm mad fine.

361
00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:05,425
That just means you're handsome.

362
00:14:05,460 --> 00:14:07,094
Well, I am handsome.

363
00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:11,932
- Who you texting?
- No one.

364
00:14:15,937 --> 00:14:18,438
Look, salt bae,

365
00:14:18,473 --> 00:14:21,108
I know I haven't been around
as much as you're used to.

366
00:14:21,196 --> 00:14:23,709
#MayorLife.

367
00:14:24,412 --> 00:14:26,747
But you can always tell me anything.

368
00:14:26,773 --> 00:14:28,240
I know.

369
00:14:28,282 --> 00:14:30,584
I just don't want us
to lose our connection.

370
00:14:30,618 --> 00:14:33,954
We're not basic.
We don't have secrets IRL.

371
00:14:33,988 --> 00:14:36,556
Name a more iconic duo. I'll wait.

372
00:14:36,591 --> 00:14:39,826
- Okay, Dad, stop talking like that.
- Okay.

373
00:14:43,865 --> 00:14:45,365
Wanna watch TV together later?

374
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,933
"Cake Boss" and chill at 10:00?

375
00:14:46,968 --> 00:14:48,869
"And chill" means sex.

376
00:14:48,903 --> 00:14:51,371
- Eww.
- And I can't tonight.

377
00:14:51,406 --> 00:14:54,141
Ceviche's coming over to finish
our chemistry project.

378
00:14:54,175 --> 00:14:56,910
We're making a papier-mâché
of the element boron,

379
00:14:56,944 --> 00:14:59,045
so it's gonna take forever.

380
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,214
Okay.

381
00:15:01,249 --> 00:15:02,616
She lied to me.

382
00:15:02,650 --> 00:15:05,318
My baby lied to me.

383
00:15:05,353 --> 00:15:08,422
We know she already finished
that science project.

384
00:15:08,456 --> 00:15:09,623
Where's Mikaela?

385
00:15:09,657 --> 00:15:12,826
Has anyone seen my chief of staff?

386
00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:14,461
She went home because of violent cramps.

387
00:15:14,495 --> 00:15:16,396
She said you would not ask a follow-up.

388
00:15:16,431 --> 00:15:19,132
She is correct. Refresh, refresh.

389
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:20,534
No new posts since yesterday.

390
00:15:20,568 --> 00:15:22,469
I don't get it. We were connecting.

391
00:15:22,503 --> 00:15:25,372
I was being cool AF... cool as Fonzie...

392
00:15:25,406 --> 00:15:27,274
and she lied to my face.

393
00:15:27,308 --> 00:15:29,109
Orly just DMed Emma.

394
00:15:29,143 --> 00:15:30,911
"Mayor working late.

395
00:15:30,945 --> 00:15:32,579
Gorge Borge at Getty House."

396
00:15:32,613 --> 00:15:34,080
What the hell's a Gorge Borge?

397
00:15:34,115 --> 00:15:35,282
According to Urban Dictionary,

398
00:15:35,316 --> 00:15:36,983
Gorge Borge, noun,

399
00:15:37,018 --> 00:15:39,352
originated in Amsterdam
during the 2017 blackout.

400
00:15:40,855 --> 00:15:42,456
Dan, car!

401
00:15:42,490 --> 00:15:43,857
It gets grosser!

402
00:15:45,425 --> 00:15:46,558
Nobody move!

403
00:15:46,566 --> 00:15:48,144
I read about what's happening here.

404
00:15:48,183 --> 00:15:50,894
I'm coming in. I'm gonna need
everyone to put your pants on

405
00:15:50,919 --> 00:15:52,619
and take the bread out of the water

406
00:15:52,644 --> 00:15:54,040
and stop the Gorge Borge.

407
00:15:54,065 --> 00:15:56,066
Hey, guys. Emma's here!

408
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:59,174
Oh, my God. You look so cute.

409
00:15:59,199 --> 00:16:00,332
Mikaela?

410
00:16:00,357 --> 00:16:03,066
Oh, please tell me
you're not the Gorgemeister.

411
00:16:03,141 --> 00:16:05,776
Sir, a Gorge Borge is very not a thing.

412
00:16:05,810 --> 00:16:07,611
Ugh, Urban Dictionary
is crowdsourced, sir.

413
00:16:07,645 --> 00:16:08,812
I should have cross-checked it

414
00:16:08,846 --> 00:16:10,113
with the comment section on YouTube.

415
00:16:10,148 --> 00:16:12,184
Well, what's happening here then? Wh...

416
00:16:12,209 --> 00:16:14,251
Before you get mad,
this was not my idea.

417
00:16:14,285 --> 00:16:16,186
Orly DMed me earlier
because she was concerned

418
00:16:16,219 --> 00:16:19,121
you were having a stroke,
so I told her the truth

419
00:16:19,157 --> 00:16:20,857
that Emma is hot dogs.

420
00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,826
Dad, you need to stop spying on me.

421
00:16:22,860 --> 00:16:24,161
You need to stop lying to me.

422
00:16:24,195 --> 00:16:26,129
I lied about the science project

423
00:16:26,164 --> 00:16:29,733
because Ceviche and I wanted
to see "Stab Massacre 2."

424
00:16:29,767 --> 00:16:30,734
I think I made it pretty clear

425
00:16:30,768 --> 00:16:33,637
I didn't want you doing that.
And, by the way,

426
00:16:33,671 --> 00:16:36,607
if you don't like making
the tote bags, just tell me.

427
00:16:36,641 --> 00:16:38,809
I don't like making the tote bags.

428
00:16:38,843 --> 00:16:40,310
Fine. I'll take Emma.

429
00:16:40,345 --> 00:16:42,613
I can't wait to grow up

430
00:16:42,647 --> 00:16:45,182
and move, like,
24,000 miles away from you.

431
00:16:45,216 --> 00:16:46,083
Oh, you mean all the way

432
00:16:46,117 --> 00:16:48,852
around the Earth
and then right back here?

433
00:16:48,886 --> 00:16:50,821
It'll be nice to have you so close.

434
00:16:58,196 --> 00:17:00,831
Did Mayor Bremer send you
here to sabotage me?

435
00:17:00,865 --> 00:17:02,566
Does he secretly hate the oil plan?

436
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:03,934
What? No.

437
00:17:03,968 --> 00:17:05,302
How could he know
we were gonna fall in love?

438
00:17:05,336 --> 00:17:06,670
Good Lord.

439
00:17:09,173 --> 00:17:10,674
It's ten in the morning, Kwapis.

440
00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:12,609
Breakups are emotional, okay?

441
00:17:12,644 --> 00:17:13,877
You do not get to tell me what to do.

442
00:17:13,911 --> 00:17:15,545
We're not together!

443
00:17:19,584 --> 00:17:22,219
Sorry for my tone last night.

444
00:17:22,253 --> 00:17:23,987
You're getting older.

445
00:17:24,022 --> 00:17:26,189
If you wanna go to the movie,
go to the movie.

446
00:17:26,224 --> 00:17:28,025
But pay with your own money.

447
00:17:28,059 --> 00:17:30,227
Fine. I will.

448
00:17:30,261 --> 00:17:33,196
Although, paying with
your money is still my money

449
00:17:33,231 --> 00:17:34,598
'cause you don't have a job.

450
00:17:34,632 --> 00:17:35,999
I can make my own money.

451
00:17:36,034 --> 00:17:38,001
Ceviche knows a guy who likes to buy

452
00:17:38,036 --> 00:17:40,037
used girls' flip-flops on the dark web.

453
00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:44,141
Cool.

454
00:17:44,175 --> 00:17:46,710
Thanks for telling me that.

455
00:17:46,744 --> 00:17:48,378
The governor has
several events this morning,

456
00:17:48,413 --> 00:17:49,880
so he's running a little behind.

457
00:17:49,914 --> 00:17:51,248
Okay. I understand.

458
00:17:51,282 --> 00:17:54,217
We often have the...

459
00:17:54,252 --> 00:17:56,119
Oh, sorry.

460
00:17:56,154 --> 00:17:58,188
We have a photo op with some kids later.

461
00:17:58,222 --> 00:17:59,790
They made the state's
largest blueberry pancake

462
00:17:59,824 --> 00:18:01,792
to celebrate California agriculture.

463
00:18:01,826 --> 00:18:03,160
They've got over a thousand blueberries

464
00:18:03,194 --> 00:18:04,294
clustered in there.

465
00:18:04,328 --> 00:18:05,262
Holes.

466
00:18:07,098 --> 00:18:08,665
So many holes.

467
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:10,000
Okay, great. The governor's walking.

468
00:18:10,034 --> 00:18:12,202
I'll have him here
in less than a minute.

469
00:18:12,236 --> 00:18:13,904
Please.

470
00:18:13,938 --> 00:18:16,006
The holes...

471
00:18:21,079 --> 00:18:24,614
Hurry. He's coming.

472
00:18:31,122 --> 00:18:32,789
I know what I have to do.

473
00:18:48,106 --> 00:18:49,740
You're disgusting.

474
00:18:51,843 --> 00:18:54,211
Thank you.

475
00:18:54,245 --> 00:18:56,413
And done.

476
00:18:56,447 --> 00:18:58,148
Right this way, Mr. Governor.

477
00:18:58,182 --> 00:18:59,950
Mr. Governor, Arpilene Meskimen,

478
00:18:59,984 --> 00:19:01,752
Deputy Mayor of Los Angeles.

479
00:19:01,786 --> 00:19:03,987
Let's talk about oil.

480
00:19:04,021 --> 00:19:06,323
What the hell happened
to the big pancake?

481
00:19:06,357 --> 00:19:07,791
What big pancake?

482
00:19:07,825 --> 00:19:08,959
The big pancake.

483
00:19:08,993 --> 00:19:10,727
You sound crazy.

484
00:19:14,332 --> 00:19:15,932
We are back from the Sac', sir.

485
00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:17,734
Couldn't have gone better, Mr. Mayor.

486
00:19:17,769 --> 00:19:19,236
The governor has asked me to lead

487
00:19:19,270 --> 00:19:20,804
a blue ribbon task force

488
00:19:20,838 --> 00:19:23,073
to assess the supportability
of the initiative.

489
00:19:23,107 --> 00:19:25,842
Oh, okay. And that's good?

490
00:19:25,877 --> 00:19:27,277
It was the best day of my life, sir.

491
00:19:27,311 --> 00:19:29,980
And Mr. Kwapis proved
to be indispensable.

492
00:19:30,014 --> 00:19:32,149
A real friend to democracy.

493
00:19:32,183 --> 00:19:33,483
And then we went to a train museum.

494
00:19:33,518 --> 00:19:35,051
And the thrift store from "Lady Bird."

495
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:36,887
I bought a used bathing suit.

496
00:19:36,921 --> 00:19:38,789
Are you guys close to your parents?

497
00:19:38,823 --> 00:19:40,190
Careful, Mr. Mayor.

498
00:19:40,224 --> 00:19:42,425
Questions like that
will make us all fall in love.

499
00:19:45,863 --> 00:19:46,797
Pshh.

500
00:19:48,065 --> 00:19:49,800
It's from earlier.

501
00:19:52,472 --> 00:19:54,971
You know, I can't light it on fire...

502
00:19:55,006 --> 00:19:57,174
Oh, they'll never get that on the truck.

503
00:19:57,208 --> 00:19:58,942
Hey.

504
00:19:58,976 --> 00:20:00,076
Hey.

505
00:20:01,045 --> 00:20:03,180
How was "Stab Massacre 2?"

506
00:20:03,214 --> 00:20:05,215
Um, it was pretty good.

507
00:20:05,249 --> 00:20:07,184
I mean, I kinda saw the twist coming.

508
00:20:07,218 --> 00:20:09,252
Like, obviously, the people
in the cage were gonna turn out

509
00:20:09,287 --> 00:20:11,087
to be the bodies of the original sisters

510
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:13,023
with new faces sewn on...

511
00:20:13,057 --> 00:20:14,758
'cause it's based on "Little Women."

512
00:20:14,792 --> 00:20:16,193
Yeah. Obviously.

513
00:20:16,227 --> 00:20:18,762
All right, off to bed.

514
00:20:18,796 --> 00:20:20,864
School night.

515
00:20:20,898 --> 00:20:22,232
Actually, do you think I could watch

516
00:20:22,266 --> 00:20:24,000
"Cake Boss" with you?

517
00:20:24,035 --> 00:20:26,937
I kinda need a palate cleanser.

518
00:20:26,971 --> 00:20:28,205
So you don't have nightmares?

519
00:20:30,241 --> 00:20:31,808
Yeah. Come here.

520
00:20:36,414 --> 00:20:38,248
Thanks for letting me
go to the movie tonight.

521
00:20:38,282 --> 00:20:40,450
Yeah.

522
00:20:40,484 --> 00:20:42,052
They'll never get that cake
on the truck.

523
00:20:42,086 --> 00:20:43,386
Oh, come on.

524
00:20:43,421 --> 00:20:45,355
They always get it on the truck
at the end.

525
00:20:45,389 --> 00:20:47,757
We're gonna actually
light the cake on fire.

526
00:20:47,792 --> 00:20:49,326
If you could have
a dinner party with anyone,

527
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:51,428
- living or dead...
- Batman and Batman's parents,

528
00:20:51,462 --> 00:20:53,897
just because I feel like Batman
would really appreciate that.

529
00:20:53,931 --> 00:20:56,032
If a crystal ball could tell
you the truth about anything,

530
00:20:56,067 --> 00:20:57,367
what would you wanna know?

531
00:20:57,401 --> 00:20:59,035
Where do teachers go during the summer?

532
00:20:59,070 --> 00:21:00,136
What's your death row meal?

533
00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:02,239
- Depends what I did.
- Your house is on fire.

534
00:21:02,273 --> 00:21:04,174
If you could only bring
one thing out of it,

535
00:21:04,208 --> 00:21:06,343
- what would it be?
- Trick question.

536
00:21:06,377 --> 00:21:08,378
The fire. Problem solved.

537
00:21:09,413 --> 00:21:11,581
Tell your life story
in ten words or less.

538
00:21:11,621 --> 00:21:15,415
"'We hate this one, '
said the orphanage,

539
00:21:15,472 --> 00:21:18,474
so Jayden's parents"... aww.

540
00:21:18,623 --> 00:21:23,623
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

