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Previously on Young Sheldon...

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Hello. I'm Sheldon Cooper, and this is

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"Why Sheldon Cooper
Should Go to College."

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Which is why I'm proposing
that I live at home

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but enroll full-time
to continue my studies

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with Dr. Sturgis at East Texas Tech.

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Hi, Mary.

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I know this must be a
hard decision for you,

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but if you let him come here,

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I promise we'll take good care of him.

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Sheldon Cooper: ready for college,

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ready to change the world.

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Cut.

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If that doesn't convince her,

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I don't know what her problem is.

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I'm excited to finally
use college-ruled paper

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and not feel like I'm living a lie.

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What's college-ruled paper?

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The lines are 18% closer together.

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College sounds hard.

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You won't have to
worry about that, honey.

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Okay.

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Missy, don't forget that you
have to pick out a present

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for that birthday next week.

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Mom, it's "Melissa" now.

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Middle school.

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- Who's Melissa?
- Me.

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Then who's Missy?

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"Missy" is short for "Melissa."

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Like how "Billy" is short for "William."

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I don't understand.

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You know how your real name is William?

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I'm Billy.

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No, we call you Billy, but
your real name is William.

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But my underpants say "Billy" in them.

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Mom, is my name William?

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Yeah.

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Then whose underpants am I wearing?

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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

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Thanks again.

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Robin is gonna be thrilled with this.

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Oh, don't thank me. Thank Mary.

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She's the one who said I had to do it.

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Just out of curiosity,
did she also mention

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helping me build the crib at some point?

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No.

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Well, act surprised when she does.

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Dang it.

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What do you think you're doing?

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Trying to get the bike started.

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Why?

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So I can ride it.

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Like hell you are!

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Sorry.

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You don't use it.

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'Cause your mother won't let me.

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And if I can't, you can't.

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If I get it running,
can I at least sell it?

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No.

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But it's just sitting
here. What's the point?

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Point is I said no.

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I can't believe someone so lame
even owned a bike like this.

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Why are kids such a pain in the ass?

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I'm sure yours will be great.

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I feel like this cover
really says who I am now.

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That looks like all your notebooks.

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Missy got ponies. Melissa gets horses.

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Hello, Coopers.

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Dr. Sturgis here.

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This is a message for Mary.

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I have some news I
need to share with you

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before Sheldon starts college.

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Please call me back.

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I wonder why he'd want
to talk to you and not me.

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Dr. Sturgis again.

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If Sheldon happened to
hear that last message

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and is wondering why I'd want
to speak to his mother first

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and not him...

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Excellent question!

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It's that kind of
curiosity that makes him

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a true man of science.

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I'm a true man of science.

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- Hello.
- Hello, Dr. Sturgis.

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This is Mary Cooper.

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Hi. Thanks for calling me back.

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So, what's going on?

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Everything okay?

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Yes, everything is quite good, actually.

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Well, for me, that is.

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Um...

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did you know there's a
supercollider being built

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in Waxahachie, Texas?

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No.

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Do you know what a supercollider is?

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Not really.

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Would you like a crash course?

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Which is humorous

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because it involves particles
crashing into each other.

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I'd like you to tell me what
this has to do with Sheldon.

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Well, that part's less funny.

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I've taken a job there.

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Hold on.

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You're not gonna be around
when Sheldon starts college?

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That's a great question.

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No.

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John, I agreed to let him go

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because you were gonna be
there to look after him.

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I know.

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And I feel terrible about it, but...

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please understand,

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this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

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I couldn't turn it down.

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Orientation starts next week.

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I'm aware.

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Well, I hope that you're ready

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to hear him freak out when you tell him.

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I was kind of hoping
he'd just be excited

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I get to work on the supercollider.

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Right, because being
happy for other people

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is where he shines.

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A supercollider?

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Well, you can't say no to that.

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I give up.

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Ooh, can you get me a bumper sticker?

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Did you know Dr. Sturgis
was taking a new job?

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What job?

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He went to work on some
supercollider in Waxahachie.

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What do you mean "went"?

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He's already there.

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- When did you hear this?
- He just called.

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I was counting on him
to be there for Sheldon.

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Well, you'd think he
would've mentioned it to me.

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Sheldon says it's okay with him,

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but I would certainly feel a lot better

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if there were adults
there that I trusted.

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Nothing on the answering machine.

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He's just a little
boy, and he's gonna be

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on that big campus all by himself.

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I mean, I know we're not dating anymore,

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but I thought we were still friends.

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Excuse me.

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I think you're focusing on the
wrong part of the story here.

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He's little, you're
worried. Please continue.

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That sums it up.

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Okay.

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Missy.

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What?

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Help me with my clothes.

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Burn them and get new ones.

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Please, it's freshman orientation.

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I want to make a good impression.

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Fine.

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Which bow tie says mature
enough to be in college

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but whimsical enough to
discuss which came first,

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the Higgs field or the photon?

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They both say weird kid who eats alone.

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Come on. I know you're concerned about

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what you'll wear to middle school.

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Show me again.

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The blue one. Plaid's too busy.

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Thanks.

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Or don't be the kid in a bow tie.

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This is not the day to go crazy.

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My son, the college freshman.

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I can't believe it.

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How can you not believe it?

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You had to sign my vaccination form.

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Right.

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So, what do you want to do first?

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I was thinking we could
start at the bookstore,

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try and beat the lines.

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I agree about the lines,
but what do you mean "we"?

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I mean you and me.

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This is my first day. I can't be seen

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walking around campus with my mommy.

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Well, it's only orientation.

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Yes, and I'm quite capable
of handling everything

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that I need to get done today on my own.

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I'm sure you are.

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I just figured, with
Dr. Sturgis not around,

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it might be nice if I could be.

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No one else's mother is going to be.

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You don't know that.

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Well, I know mine isn't.

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You might want to watch the attitude

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to the person who's driving you there.

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Not all the way there.

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Drop me off a block away
so no one sees us together.

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Sorry, I am not leaving
you alone your first day.

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Yes, you are.

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For someone going into college,

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you are acting very childish.

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Maybe it just appears that way

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because you see me with my mommy.

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Oh...

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Boy, I remember putting one
of these together for Georgie.

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It is great having y'all next door.

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Did you not hear me yelling
at Georgie last night?

199
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,114
It's okay. I'm sure
you'll hear our little one

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crying soon enough.

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Missy was a crier.

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Sheldon just learned to talk and said,

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"Father, I have soiled myself."

204
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Well, he's a miracle in his own way.

205
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Oh, you just put a positive
spin on everything, don't you?

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Kind of goes with the pastor territory.

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Okay.

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00:08:28,533 --> 00:08:30,175
What if I said

209
00:08:30,178 --> 00:08:31,635
Mary and I have not had

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00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:34,472
a real vacation since we had kids?

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00:08:35,507 --> 00:08:37,374
I like to believe starting a family

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will be the most
rewarding adventure of all.

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You're good.

214
00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:46,249
You could not be more
wrong, but you're good.

215
00:08:53,458 --> 00:08:56,126
Can you show me where the
used physics textbooks are?

216
00:08:56,128 --> 00:08:57,661
Follow me.

217
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:59,663
Normally I would prefer
a fresh new textbook,

218
00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,928
but my father is a high
school football coach.

219
00:09:01,931 --> 00:09:04,000
Which is another way
of saying we're poor.

220
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,576
Here you go.

221
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:14,451
Who owned this, a werewolf?

222
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,246
Let's talk about the weather.

223
00:09:16,248 --> 00:09:18,315
It's going to be a
beautiful sunny day today

224
00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:20,331
with temps reaching a high of 97.

225
00:09:20,334 --> 00:09:21,412
Gross.

226
00:09:21,415 --> 00:09:24,553
In other news, President Bush
will be traveling to Waxahachie

227
00:09:24,556 --> 00:09:27,090
later this month to visit the site

228
00:09:27,092 --> 00:09:29,025
of a new supercollider.

229
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:32,136
Scientists are hopeful this
will lead to exciting discoveries

230
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,030
in the world of part...

231
00:09:36,568 --> 00:09:37,834
What?

232
00:09:37,836 --> 00:09:39,847
You said you'd show me
how to hot-roll my hair.

233
00:09:39,850 --> 00:09:42,472
Oh, right. You still want to do that?

234
00:09:42,474 --> 00:09:43,940
You're cranky.

235
00:09:43,942 --> 00:09:47,177
So maybe I shouldn't be putting
hot rollers on your head.

236
00:09:47,179 --> 00:09:50,147
Meh, you're always
cranky. Let's do this.

237
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,836
Not so bad.

238
00:09:56,839 --> 00:09:59,474
I would have highlighted that.

239
00:10:00,661 --> 00:10:02,895
And someone drew genitals.

240
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,000
Oh. Mrs. Cooper?

241
00:10:11,002 --> 00:10:13,470
Oh, hi.

242
00:10:13,472 --> 00:10:14,704
Sam.

243
00:10:14,706 --> 00:10:16,573
Yes, of course.

244
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:19,809
Oh, from, um, Sheldon's physics class.

245
00:10:19,811 --> 00:10:20,826
How are you?

246
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,545
Oh, I'm-I'm good. Yeah.

247
00:10:22,547 --> 00:10:24,214
What brings you here?

248
00:10:24,216 --> 00:10:26,349
Sheldon's freshman orientation.

249
00:10:26,351 --> 00:10:28,351
- Oh, sure.
- Mm-hmm.

250
00:10:28,353 --> 00:10:30,019
You didn't want to go with him?

251
00:10:30,021 --> 00:10:32,489
I did, but, uh,

252
00:10:32,491 --> 00:10:34,891
he made it very clear
that he did not want me

253
00:10:34,893 --> 00:10:36,493
anywhere near him today.

254
00:10:36,495 --> 00:10:39,662
Well, I don't know Sheldon
well, but he can be a little...

255
00:10:39,664 --> 00:10:42,232
Rude, obnoxious, condescending?

256
00:10:42,234 --> 00:10:44,300
Oh, hey, I do know him.

257
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,070
So are you just gonna sit here?

258
00:10:47,072 --> 00:10:50,273
Uh, well, just until it's
time to drive him home.

259
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,409
Well, I can show you around campus.

260
00:10:52,411 --> 00:10:54,511
- No, no, that's okay.
- Yeah, no.

261
00:10:54,513 --> 00:10:56,679
Come on. I'll buy you a school shirt.

262
00:10:56,681 --> 00:10:59,449
Oh, he would be mortified to see me

263
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:00,984
wearing one of those.

264
00:11:00,986 --> 00:11:03,386
That's why I'm offering. Let's go.

265
00:11:03,388 --> 00:11:05,054
Well, yeah.

266
00:11:08,894 --> 00:11:11,592
Wow, you're really
getting this together fast.

267
00:11:11,595 --> 00:11:13,862
- I feel like I'm not helping at all.
- Oh, come on now.

268
00:11:13,865 --> 00:11:16,466
You cut those oranges
into nice little wedges.

269
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,301
I do it for the kids at Sunday school.

270
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,171
They go to town on 'em.

271
00:11:22,707 --> 00:11:25,775
Did you feel ready
before Georgie was born?

272
00:11:25,777 --> 00:11:27,014
Absolutely.

273
00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:28,885
Boy, was I wrong.

274
00:11:29,516 --> 00:11:31,147
Why? Getting nervous?

275
00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:33,348
Well, if I can't get
a crib built on my own,

276
00:11:33,351 --> 00:11:35,418
how am I gonna be
responsible for a human life?

277
00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:36,803
Ah, you'll figure it out.

278
00:11:36,806 --> 00:11:38,988
And no sense in worrying
about it 'cause you never know

279
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,024
what kind of curveballs
will come your way.

280
00:11:41,026 --> 00:11:42,631
- I guess that's true.
- Mm.

281
00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:44,694
The doctors could tell
us we were having twins,

282
00:11:44,696 --> 00:11:46,896
but they couldn't warn us
we were having a Sheldon.

283
00:11:46,898 --> 00:11:49,232
- You don't think I'm gonna...?
- Oh, no.

284
00:11:49,234 --> 00:11:50,767
They broke the mold.

285
00:11:50,769 --> 00:11:52,101
But...

286
00:11:52,103 --> 00:11:54,204
you could go the other
way and have a Georgie,

287
00:11:54,206 --> 00:11:57,674
so... some terror is called for.

288
00:12:00,612 --> 00:12:02,670
If you highlight everything,

289
00:12:02,673 --> 00:12:04,537
you highlight nothing.

290
00:12:04,540 --> 00:12:05,748
Uh-oh.

291
00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:07,917
Young man, don't move these books.

292
00:12:07,919 --> 00:12:09,185
I have a system.

293
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:11,020
How's it look?

294
00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:12,289
Cute.

295
00:12:13,058 --> 00:12:14,190
Why are you here?

296
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,326
I ran into Sam.

297
00:12:16,328 --> 00:12:17,861
Yes, you're a person I know.

298
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:20,630
Hey, aren't you supposed to
be getting your I.D. photo?

299
00:12:20,632 --> 00:12:23,366
- I got a little waylaid.
- Can I help?

300
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,668
No, everything is
perfectly under control.

301
00:12:25,670 --> 00:12:28,538
And take off that sweatshirt.
You don't go to school here!

302
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:29,873
See?

303
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,207
Worth every penny.

304
00:12:32,344 --> 00:12:35,144
Stay calm. You can make it.

305
00:12:35,146 --> 00:12:36,547
Aah!

306
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:42,286
Honestly, who drinks a
Slurpee at 11:00 a.m.?

307
00:12:42,864 --> 00:12:44,531
Will this make me look older?

308
00:12:44,534 --> 00:12:45,754
Definitely.

309
00:12:45,757 --> 00:12:47,725
But not like you older, right?

310
00:12:48,303 --> 00:12:49,659
Right.

311
00:12:49,661 --> 00:12:52,195
You still dating that Marcus boy?

312
00:12:52,197 --> 00:12:53,459
Sort of.

313
00:12:53,462 --> 00:12:56,231
He went away with his
family for the summer.

314
00:12:57,165 --> 00:12:59,231
Just out of curiosity,

315
00:12:59,234 --> 00:13:01,902
before he left, did he let you know?

316
00:13:01,905 --> 00:13:03,106
Mm-hmm.

317
00:13:03,108 --> 00:13:04,974
Hmm, interesting.

318
00:13:04,976 --> 00:13:07,977
And how long before he
left did he tell you?

319
00:13:07,979 --> 00:13:09,279
I don't know, a week.

320
00:13:09,281 --> 00:13:11,247
Hmm, must be nice.

321
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,249
You hear from him at all?

322
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,385
Yeah, he sent me the cutest postcard.

323
00:13:15,387 --> 00:13:17,854
It was a turtle surfing on a dolphin.

324
00:13:17,856 --> 00:13:20,123
Adorable.

325
00:13:20,125 --> 00:13:22,259
Pulling kind of hard.

326
00:13:23,751 --> 00:13:25,562
I made it! I'm here!

327
00:13:25,564 --> 00:13:27,897
Fill this out and sign the...

328
00:13:27,899 --> 00:13:30,267
Um, there's a bee on you.

329
00:13:30,834 --> 00:13:32,134
What?

330
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:34,837
Hey, Sam.

331
00:13:34,839 --> 00:13:36,353
Can I help y'all find anything?

332
00:13:36,356 --> 00:13:39,033
Oh, we're good. Just showing
my friend around campus.

333
00:13:39,036 --> 00:13:40,410
Oh, you a new student?

334
00:13:40,412 --> 00:13:43,413
- Oh, actually...
- Jason, this is Mary.

335
00:13:43,415 --> 00:13:45,111
Ah, well, hello, Mary.

336
00:13:45,114 --> 00:13:46,983
Allow me to welcome you to our school.

337
00:13:46,985 --> 00:13:49,419
- Thank you.
- Uh, you know, my dorm

338
00:13:49,421 --> 00:13:51,354
is doing a back-to-school
barbecue this afternoon.

339
00:13:51,356 --> 00:13:52,639
Y'all should swing by.

340
00:13:52,642 --> 00:13:53,890
Sounds fun.

341
00:13:53,892 --> 00:13:55,058
Cool.

342
00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:57,360
Braden Hall, in the courtyard, 1:00.

343
00:13:57,362 --> 00:13:58,629
See you there.

344
00:13:59,431 --> 00:14:00,697
Sweet, free food.

345
00:14:00,699 --> 00:14:03,564
Who cares? He thought I was a student.

346
00:14:07,572 --> 00:14:09,639
Okay. Smile.

347
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,240
Just take the picture.

348
00:14:17,665 --> 00:14:19,786
I had suffered some setbacks.

349
00:14:19,788 --> 00:14:22,289
But just as Edison had forged ahead

350
00:14:22,291 --> 00:14:25,076
on electric lighting
without the help of Tesla,

351
00:14:25,079 --> 00:14:27,594
I was going to make
it through orientation

352
00:14:27,596 --> 00:14:29,696
without the help of my mommy,

353
00:14:29,698 --> 00:14:32,566
even if she did make
boo-boos stop hurting.

354
00:14:32,568 --> 00:14:35,769
While I had found inspiration
courtesy of Thomas Edison,

355
00:14:35,771 --> 00:14:40,274
it was soon replaced with anger
at Whitcomb L. Judson,

356
00:14:40,276 --> 00:14:41,873
inventor of the zipper.

357
00:14:41,876 --> 00:14:44,779
Oh, come on.

358
00:14:45,665 --> 00:14:47,614
What do you think?

359
00:14:47,616 --> 00:14:50,050
I think you're gonna be
a little heartbreaker.

360
00:14:50,052 --> 00:14:51,669
I don't want to break anyone's heart.

361
00:14:51,672 --> 00:14:53,187
I just want to look hot.

362
00:14:53,189 --> 00:14:54,579
Well, that you do.

363
00:14:54,582 --> 00:14:55,948
Thank you.

364
00:14:55,951 --> 00:14:59,292
And there's nothing wrong
with breaking some hearts.

365
00:14:59,295 --> 00:15:02,930
If you don't do it to them,
they're gonna do it to you.

366
00:15:02,932 --> 00:15:04,998
- Why would they do that?
- Because sometimes

367
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,801
men do things without thinking
how it's gonna make you feel.

368
00:15:07,803 --> 00:15:10,270
Marcus wouldn't do that. We're friends.

369
00:15:10,272 --> 00:15:12,105
That don't mean nothing.

370
00:15:12,107 --> 00:15:14,599
You think somebody's your friend,

371
00:15:14,602 --> 00:15:18,011
then they just up and
leave without a word.

372
00:15:18,013 --> 00:15:19,514
But Marcus told me.

373
00:15:20,516 --> 00:15:22,249
But Marcus told me.

374
00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,417
Like Batman's utility belt,

375
00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:29,088
my briefcase was equipped
for any emergency.

376
00:15:30,894 --> 00:15:32,693
I don't know if the
Bat-pants had a zipper,

377
00:15:32,695 --> 00:15:35,295
but if they did, I could fix it.

378
00:15:38,434 --> 00:15:40,535
Oh, dear.

379
00:15:42,238 --> 00:15:43,503
Two months!

380
00:15:43,505 --> 00:15:45,339
Two months till this baby comes!

381
00:15:45,341 --> 00:15:47,696
There's so much I thought
I was gonna do in my life.

382
00:15:47,699 --> 00:15:49,256
I'm sure you've done plenty.

383
00:15:49,259 --> 00:15:50,425
Nothing cool.

384
00:15:50,428 --> 00:15:51,485
Look at you.

385
00:15:51,488 --> 00:15:53,775
You played football
and rode a motorcycle.

386
00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:56,179
Well, you save people's souls.

387
00:15:56,182 --> 00:15:57,321
That's neat, right?

388
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,021
Oh, it's neat as neat
can be, but you know

389
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:00,520
that's not what I'm talking about.

390
00:16:02,124 --> 00:16:05,451
Look, being a dad doesn't
mean your life is over.

391
00:16:05,454 --> 00:16:07,127
It just means it's different.

392
00:16:07,129 --> 00:16:09,896
Instead of playing football,
I get to coach it now.

393
00:16:09,898 --> 00:16:11,821
I mean, high school football.

394
00:16:11,824 --> 00:16:14,391
Not college like I'd hoped.

395
00:16:14,394 --> 00:16:18,763
I-Instead of a motorcycle,
I drive a truck.

396
00:16:18,766 --> 00:16:21,834
To work every single day.

397
00:16:21,837 --> 00:16:23,577
To pay the bills.

398
00:16:23,579 --> 00:16:25,412
Oh.

399
00:16:25,414 --> 00:16:27,881
Endless bills.

400
00:16:27,883 --> 00:16:30,084
What happened to my life?

401
00:16:31,654 --> 00:16:33,688
Orange wedge?

402
00:16:34,388 --> 00:16:36,187
With only seven minutes

403
00:16:36,190 --> 00:16:38,457
until my freshman orientation seminar,

404
00:16:38,460 --> 00:16:40,160
I was in a sticky spot.

405
00:16:40,162 --> 00:16:44,599
Thankfully, I was armed with
an even stickier solution.

406
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:53,640
Ah, you made it!

407
00:16:53,642 --> 00:16:54,975
- Hey.
- Hi.

408
00:16:54,977 --> 00:16:55,776
Hey, guys,

409
00:16:55,778 --> 00:16:57,277
this is Sam and Mary.

410
00:16:58,847 --> 00:17:02,049
Well, aren't y'all friendly.

411
00:17:02,051 --> 00:17:04,451
We are so excited to
have you here today.

412
00:17:04,453 --> 00:17:07,187
This is the most competitive
year we've had for admissions.

413
00:17:07,189 --> 00:17:10,190
So you should feel really good
about your accomplishments.

414
00:17:10,192 --> 00:17:12,726
You belong to an elite group of scholars...

415
00:17:19,201 --> 00:17:21,401
I may not look it, but
I'm the future of physics,

416
00:17:21,404 --> 00:17:23,102
so just move on.

417
00:17:24,740 --> 00:17:26,938
You have kids?

418
00:17:26,941 --> 00:17:28,141
Three.

419
00:17:28,143 --> 00:17:29,743
You look amazing!

420
00:17:29,745 --> 00:17:32,185
- Oh...
- Two of 'em are twins.

421
00:17:32,188 --> 00:17:35,415
I don't want to brag, but natural birth.

422
00:17:35,417 --> 00:17:36,817
Whoa.

423
00:17:36,819 --> 00:17:39,353
I love college.

424
00:17:57,434 --> 00:17:59,001
John.

425
00:18:07,048 --> 00:18:09,516
Dear Connie, you may have heard

426
00:18:09,519 --> 00:18:13,715
I've taken a job at the new
supercollider in Waxahachie.

427
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:17,419
I wanted to tell you in person, but, uh,

428
00:18:17,421 --> 00:18:19,854
I was afraid you'd be upset.

429
00:18:19,856 --> 00:18:22,323
And, honestly...

430
00:18:22,325 --> 00:18:25,860
I was even more afraid you wouldn't be.

431
00:18:25,862 --> 00:18:27,796
Oh, John.

432
00:18:27,798 --> 00:18:31,696
This also gives me an excuse
to use my astronaut pen.

433
00:18:31,699 --> 00:18:35,170
I'm not upside-down, but if I was,

434
00:18:35,172 --> 00:18:37,906
it would still write.

435
00:18:41,711 --> 00:18:43,244
How you doing back there?

436
00:18:43,246 --> 00:18:45,947
I've never felt so alive!

437
00:18:45,949 --> 00:18:48,884
Praise the Lord!

438
00:18:51,206 --> 00:18:53,122
Let's go to Mexico!

439
00:18:55,402 --> 00:19:00,808
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