1 00:00:11,773 --> 00:00:16,773 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 2 00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:21,080 And the wolf said, "'Little pigs, little pigs, 3 00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:22,316 let me in.' 4 00:00:22,341 --> 00:00:24,691 'Not by the hair of our chinny-chin-chin.' 5 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,651 'Then I'll huff and I'll puff 6 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,954 and I'll blow your house down.'" 7 00:00:28,979 --> 00:00:30,636 Ohh! 8 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,532 "But the brick house wouldn't come down. 9 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,433 So the big, bad wolf climbed all the way up the roof, 10 00:00:35,458 --> 00:00:37,704 he slid down the chimney, and then... " 11 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:40,874 Aooh-wuh-wuh-wuh-wuuu! 12 00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:43,001 "The big, bad wolf fell into the pot of hot water 13 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,586 that the pigs had on the fire. 14 00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:47,066 And that was the end of the big, bad wolf. 15 00:00:47,737 --> 00:00:49,674 And the pigs lived happily ever after." 16 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,135 You see 'em? One, two, 17 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,284 - three. - Hey. 18 00:00:55,031 --> 00:00:56,908 - Hey. - How's he feeling? 19 00:00:56,933 --> 00:01:00,066 Oh, he's still congested and, uh, still awake. 20 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,979 Smells like my grandma's room in here. 21 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,065 Yeah. Yeah, slathered him in Vicks. 22 00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:07,817 Hey, you wanna tag out? 23 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,486 - I'll take a turn. - Uh-uh. 24 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:10,820 It's cool. I got him. 25 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,405 You get some sleep, all right? 26 00:01:12,896 --> 00:01:14,908 Okay. I'm gonna pass out on the couch 27 00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,534 to an episode of Bob Ross. 28 00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:18,095 Oh. Bob Ross. 29 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,165 Feel better, my sweet baby boy. 30 00:01:22,190 --> 00:01:23,649 Mmm. 31 00:01:24,972 --> 00:01:26,431 - Thanks. - Yeah. 32 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,800 Okay, let's see what's next, what's next? 33 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,925 All right, we've... 34 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,055 I think we've read the... 35 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,861 just about every single one of these books. 36 00:01:38,886 --> 00:01:40,600 But don't worry about it. 37 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,847 I got a better story for you, all right? 38 00:01:47,093 --> 00:01:51,111 How 'bout we tell you a real fairy tale story, huh? 39 00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:53,914 Now, once upon a time, 40 00:01:54,164 --> 00:01:57,575 there was a little boy named Phillip Gallagher. 41 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,393 - Phillip. - It's, uh, Lip. 42 00:01:59,418 --> 00:02:01,054 - I'm Lip... Phillip Gallagher. - Lip? 43 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:01,955 - Lip. - Is Lip around? 44 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:03,081 - Lip! - Lip. 45 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,457 - Phillip Gallagher? - It's Lip. 46 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,793 - Lip, my man. - Lip, muh boy. 47 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,795 Not gonna call ya Lip. Hope that's okay. 48 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,131 Gonna call you by your lovely God-given name... 49 00:02:11,401 --> 00:02:12,799 - Phillip. - Okay. 50 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:13,967 After the prophet. 51 00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:16,594 And Phillip... or Lip, 52 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:19,222 as his family and friends called him, 53 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:22,142 grew up in a magical castle, 54 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,602 and he was raised by a supportive 55 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:26,698 and loving family. 56 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:32,026 Fuck you, Frank! 57 00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:34,295 Will you please take a drink and shut the fuck up? 58 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,697 Shut the fuck up! 59 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:37,049 Frank's passed out up in the bathroom. 60 00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:38,032 - Fuck. - He dead? 61 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,284 Unfortunately not. 62 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,536 You gotta let kids learn for themselves. 63 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,996 They gonna fend for themselves? 64 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:45,498 You give a man a fish, you've fed him for a day. 65 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,476 Teach a man to fish, you've fed him for a lifetime. 66 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,877 I raised fisherman. 67 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,837 That's my fucking bike! 68 00:02:50,862 --> 00:02:53,364 The best gift you can give... Neglect. 69 00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:56,374 - Dad. - Son. 70 00:02:57,385 --> 00:03:00,096 A rooster in the hen-house. Rooster in the hen-house! 71 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,764 Hide the money! 72 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,450 - Morning, Grammy. - Morning, Grammy! 73 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,202 - Morning, Grams! - Hey, Gallagher. 74 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:07,312 Your mom's down at the station. Bring bail money. 75 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:11,482 Get the fucking key and get me out of here! 76 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:13,026 Just bailed Monica outta jail. 77 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,195 She let Carl play bumper cars with a Buick. 78 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,614 So you know Monica spent all the squirrel fund money? 79 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,949 The first rule you learn in this house... 80 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,451 You hide the goddamn money! 81 00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:22,702 Don't be mad at Fiona. Come on. 82 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,287 Hey, Monica, shut up. 83 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,681 You know what, like most of my life, 84 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:26,998 this has nothing to do with you. 85 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,041 Your son's a real prick. 86 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:32,378 Don't say Papa never gave ya a pet. 87 00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:33,963 Fuck! 88 00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,340 Eeew! 89 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,448 - Hey, Grammy. - Oh, my goodness. 90 00:03:37,473 --> 00:03:41,429 I have never seen apple and spice looking so nice! 91 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,699 - How's it goin' in there? - Oh, the food's not so great, 92 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,392 but the pussy's pretty good. 93 00:03:45,417 --> 00:03:46,409 Sounds all right. 94 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:48,394 Weren't Monica and Frank on acid 95 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:49,729 the whole time you were in vitro? 96 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,397 'Shrooms, mostly. 97 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,524 We had one kid on coke... Debbie. 98 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,526 - That was Carl. - No, Carl was E. 99 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,487 - Thought Liam was E. - Liam was acid. 100 00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:58,947 Don't you remember? 101 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:02,726 But we've never made a little rug rat on GHB. 102 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,830 Oh! Jesus Christ! 103 00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,624 "Congratulations, Ian. 104 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,501 You are not Frank Gallagher's son." 105 00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,253 You fucked my brother! 106 00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:15,338 I like the idea of Monica cheating on Frank. 107 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,774 You know, it really keeps my image of you 108 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,035 right on track, Mom. 109 00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:20,760 Honestly, sweetie, there was the summer of '95 110 00:04:20,785 --> 00:04:22,870 that I did a lotta PCP... 111 00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:24,573 - You did PCP? - And I... 112 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,051 Without me? 113 00:04:26,076 --> 00:04:28,244 Moni and I wanna take Liam to live with us. 114 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,769 - What? - No, out of the fucking 115 00:04:29,794 --> 00:04:31,754 - question, Roberta. - Taking Liam? 116 00:04:31,779 --> 00:04:32,988 - No! - No, nobody's 117 00:04:33,013 --> 00:04:34,582 taking anyone anywhere. 118 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,414 I don't care what the fucking DNA test says. 119 00:04:37,439 --> 00:04:40,071 - You're not taking Liam. - We having a problem, 120 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,448 - Phillip? - Let's see... you're camped out 121 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:44,575 in my house, you're fucking my mother, 122 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,095 and you're talking about stealing my baby brother. 123 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,620 Why would we have a problem? 124 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,622 - Hey, stop it! - Congratulations, Mom. 125 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,124 You always knew how to pick 'em. 126 00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:52,601 Yeah, so please stay on your bar-stool 127 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,019 - and just keep drinking. - Come on! 128 00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,628 - I've gotta walk away. - What?! 129 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,231 If I don't walk away, I'm gonna fucking hit him. 130 00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:00,967 What the hell? 131 00:05:02,059 --> 00:05:03,394 Fuck! 132 00:05:03,419 --> 00:05:05,546 Next time you're thinkin' about dropping in, 133 00:05:05,853 --> 00:05:07,390 don't. 134 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,163 You fucked up our lives 135 00:05:09,188 --> 00:05:10,981 enough already. 136 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,440 At least I'm not getting trapped by some pregnant skank. 137 00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,066 - Fuck you. - You'll probably quit 138 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,152 high school, huh, start working at Best Buy. 139 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:20,838 - Watch your fuckin' mouth! - I wonder how long it takes 140 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,572 before you start huffing glue? 141 00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,991 Hey! Only one way to resolve this. 142 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,826 Somebody's gotta bleed. Fight it out. 143 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,995 See who's alpha wolf. 144 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,334 Your mother... 145 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,002 was a real cunt. 146 00:05:36,317 --> 00:05:37,317 Amen. 147 00:05:39,664 --> 00:05:42,568 - Wanna get a beer? - Yeah. 148 00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:45,011 - Hey, Lip, I need your help. - Oh... busy! 149 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,637 Too busy to help your old man? 150 00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,181 Yes. Forever. 151 00:05:48,206 --> 00:05:49,536 - Movin' out again? - Fuck off. 152 00:05:49,561 --> 00:05:51,278 I don't like the way I'm being talked to 153 00:05:51,303 --> 00:05:53,245 - around my own house. - Let's go see if we can find 154 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,355 whatever gutter our responsible adult of a father 155 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:56,560 has crawled into this time. 156 00:05:56,585 --> 00:05:58,667 "You never got me this, Dad, we never had that, Dad." 157 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,519 Yack, yack, fucking yack! 158 00:06:00,544 --> 00:06:02,362 Lip, you're 21, right? 159 00:06:02,387 --> 00:06:04,222 23, but that's fine. You're in the ballpark. 160 00:06:04,247 --> 00:06:06,758 Surround sound bitching is the only thanks I get. 161 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,808 Life is hard. We all know that. 162 00:06:08,833 --> 00:06:10,578 Money is harder. 163 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,581 Do you even know how much we spend a week on groceries? 164 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,786 - Too much! - 120 bucks. 165 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,878 Fiona pays 70. Me and Ian go in 25 each. 166 00:06:18,903 --> 00:06:20,823 You know how much you spend a month at the Alibi? 167 00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:22,433 None a your damn business. 168 00:06:22,638 --> 00:06:24,388 Over 700. 169 00:06:24,413 --> 00:06:26,362 - Hey, you're back! - Let us have a bottle 170 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,553 of your good stuff. 171 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:28,721 I've got some money comin'. 172 00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,391 Tomorrow, fuckhead! 173 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:36,347 - A friend... dropped me off. - I don't need Kev to tell me. 174 00:06:36,372 --> 00:06:38,356 Check your pockets every night. 175 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,818 You better run! 176 00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,739 I gotta go, but save some for me, will ya, Debs? 177 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,321 - Yeah, okay. - It's essential 178 00:06:45,346 --> 00:06:47,223 that families share meals together. 179 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,493 - Oh, don't, oh... - Mmm! 180 00:06:50,518 --> 00:06:51,974 - Great, Debs. - Thanks. 181 00:06:51,999 --> 00:06:53,597 I won't say it twice. Go home. 182 00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:56,541 - What? - I won't say it twi... 183 00:06:57,388 --> 00:07:00,378 Why do you two keep harping on the past? 184 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,488 This is why your lives are so messed up! 185 00:07:03,513 --> 00:07:05,633 Oh, yeah. That's the reason. 186 00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:08,035 Daddy's home! Come on, lads. 187 00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:10,154 Let's go upstairs, take a disco nap. 188 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:11,931 Charge, charge! 189 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,308 Shit! Just go... go! 190 00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:15,893 Just pick a bed, fellas. 191 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,962 Just pick a bed. Ohh. 192 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,773 - What the hell are you doing? - Get the fuck outta here! 193 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,108 You are not sleeping! 194 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,610 After everything I have done for you, 195 00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,446 this is the thanks I get? 196 00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,072 Jesus Chriiiist... 197 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,532 Uhh! 198 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,169 Not funny. Not funny at all. 199 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,037 - Da! - Now... 200 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:37,177 because of his privileged upbringing, 201 00:07:37,202 --> 00:07:40,918 little Lip was able to focus his attentions on schoolwork 202 00:07:40,943 --> 00:07:43,279 and extracurricular activities. 203 00:07:44,408 --> 00:07:45,715 Go! Go, go, go! 204 00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,970 Get outta the way, get outta the way! 205 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,430 Move it! 206 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,307 Jesus, whatever happened to fat, 207 00:07:54,332 --> 00:07:57,002 donut-eating cops? Now they're all triathletes! 208 00:07:57,027 --> 00:07:58,467 - Ah... - Break it down! 209 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:00,689 Shit! 210 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,065 - Yo, Kev. - Hey. 211 00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:05,276 Is it cool if we put Fiona's name on your W2? 212 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,528 Sure. What's a W2? 213 00:08:07,797 --> 00:08:09,307 Hmm? 214 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,991 Forty-third and Alstead. Bring the crowbar. 215 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,537 - Wow. - Ha ha ha ha ha! 216 00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,369 Here we go. 217 00:08:19,394 --> 00:08:21,226 Hey, I wanna stage another fight night next week. 218 00:08:25,619 --> 00:08:27,131 Go around to the dojos, 219 00:08:27,156 --> 00:08:28,483 round up some more scrappers, all right? 220 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,344 Frozen Snickers, bag a Beer Nuts, 221 00:08:31,369 --> 00:08:32,987 and couple of joints. 222 00:08:33,317 --> 00:08:34,944 You 14? Got ID? 223 00:08:38,853 --> 00:08:40,480 You know how to hack a voicemail? 224 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:41,900 Probably. 225 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:45,149 I want you to give me 50 or GFY. 226 00:08:45,488 --> 00:08:46,823 GFY? 227 00:08:50,255 --> 00:08:53,049 Less ogling, more hacking. 228 00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:55,701 Is this the club where Wilco's gonna play a secret concert? 229 00:08:55,726 --> 00:08:56,852 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's, uh, 230 00:08:56,928 --> 00:08:58,846 20 bucks, self-park, 30 valet. 231 00:08:59,041 --> 00:09:01,165 Thought you wanted this. Quickest grand you ever made. 232 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,918 Buyer was thrilled... said you should moonlight for the NSA. 233 00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,416 So what are you workin' on this summer? 234 00:09:05,441 --> 00:09:07,948 Um, I'm working on this device that reads credit card numbers 235 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,423 off of parking kiosks. 236 00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,092 Using a magnetic stripe reader? 237 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:12,953 Oh, no. It's all done over WiFi now. 238 00:09:13,728 --> 00:09:15,877 Why aren't you working on my project? 239 00:09:15,902 --> 00:09:17,890 When you're poor, only way to make money 240 00:09:17,915 --> 00:09:19,792 is to steal it or scam it. 241 00:09:20,002 --> 00:09:21,744 Like Don King or Joe Kennedy. 242 00:09:22,018 --> 00:09:23,271 All right, here ya go. 243 00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:25,606 It's 50 bucks a head. $400. 244 00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:27,508 This man stole our jobs? 245 00:09:27,661 --> 00:09:30,372 No, no, I didn't steal them. I just underbid you. 246 00:09:31,205 --> 00:09:34,198 But we are illegal immigrants. How can you underbid us? 247 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,367 - Gutter white's the new brown. - The what? 248 00:09:36,392 --> 00:09:37,643 The new brown. 249 00:09:37,668 --> 00:09:39,221 - Come on! - You got her? 250 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,705 Oh... go! 251 00:09:40,730 --> 00:09:42,518 The real Aunt Ginger lost a toe. 252 00:09:42,543 --> 00:09:45,775 Somebody's gotta snip it. Who wants to do the honors? 253 00:09:47,096 --> 00:09:49,439 I'm taking the PSATs for some Polish kid 254 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,705 over in Ridgedale. 255 00:09:50,730 --> 00:09:52,333 He's supposed to give me like a hundred bucks. 256 00:09:52,576 --> 00:09:54,035 Mr. Gallagher. 257 00:09:56,009 --> 00:09:58,386 - What? - Do you know the answer? 258 00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:02,059 - Lip's been expelled. - Expelled? 259 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,287 Threw a chair through a window. 260 00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:05,272 The answer is fuck you! 261 00:10:09,721 --> 00:10:12,403 - You are finishing high school! - I've done a year more than you. 262 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,047 - This isn't about me. - So, what, you want me 263 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,948 to bust my ass? Get a diploma 264 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,844 and a high-paying job so I can buy you all houses and shit 265 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,494 while you lay around doing fuck-all? 266 00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:21,799 I'm down for that. 267 00:10:21,824 --> 00:10:23,525 Why's that on me, huh? 268 00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:26,083 Oh, because I've done all right on some tests? 269 00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,294 No. I'll pull my weight, 270 00:10:28,319 --> 00:10:30,613 but I'm not gonna be the fucking golden goose! 271 00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,927 And when he was in high school, 272 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:40,264 he met a beautiful princess. 273 00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,102 Take it easy! 274 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,479 Get the fuck outta my house! 275 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,189 Hi. I'm Karen Jackson. 276 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,149 I mean... Daddyz Girl. 277 00:10:53,757 --> 00:10:55,193 And the two of them dated... 278 00:10:55,837 --> 00:10:59,299 and they were voted Homecoming King and Queen. 279 00:10:59,324 --> 00:11:01,470 Yeah! Oh, yeah, give it to me! 280 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,828 - Oh, yeah. - Ohh! 281 00:11:02,887 --> 00:11:04,764 - Give it to me! - Want me to give it to you? 282 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,083 - Yes. - Yeah, she said 283 00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:08,584 she wants you to give it to her, 284 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:09,686 So just give it to her already! 285 00:11:18,917 --> 00:11:20,461 You whore! 286 00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:22,807 What are we doing here? 287 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:25,518 Seriously, from, uh, my vantage point, 288 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,037 looks like we're on the verge of fucking. 289 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,230 No, I mean you and me. What are we? 290 00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,856 We've always been friends. 291 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,485 - Hi, Frank. - Shit! Karen! 292 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,236 Whoa! Oh... 293 00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:44,745 What do you think now, Daddy? 294 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,247 Am I still a whore? 295 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,251 Mother of God! 296 00:11:52,804 --> 00:11:54,044 _ 297 00:11:54,069 --> 00:11:56,048 - Oh, fuck! - Oh! 298 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,721 - Ahh! - Ohh! 299 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,139 Ahh... 300 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:04,882 - Where ya goin'? - Karen's. 301 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:08,394 Karen Jackson? After that thing with your dad? 302 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,438 I have something to tell you. 303 00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:14,150 What? Finally gonna let me plow the back fields? 304 00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,578 You already are. 305 00:12:15,603 --> 00:12:17,545 Oh, shit! Sorry. Um... 306 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,738 It's okay. 307 00:12:19,008 --> 00:12:21,240 - I like it. - Oh. Ha. 308 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,409 I wouldn't necessarily call it an orgy, 309 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:26,386 but there were a lot of naked body parts flying around. 310 00:12:26,432 --> 00:12:28,914 And then there was the time at Mindy Carlson's sleepover 311 00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,750 when her mom walked in and freaked out 312 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,418 when she saw Mindy in the shower 313 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,081 with a big, black strap-on dildo. 314 00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,439 So what'd you wanna tell me? 315 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,573 I'm pretty sure that Jody's gonna propose. 316 00:12:38,598 --> 00:12:39,971 We can't have sex anymore. 317 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,762 Oh. 318 00:12:42,787 --> 00:12:44,038 Mandy! 319 00:12:45,079 --> 00:12:46,425 Missed me, huh? 320 00:12:47,885 --> 00:12:49,894 I bet you could get any guy into bed, huh? 321 00:12:50,222 --> 00:12:52,271 Yeah. Why? 322 00:12:56,256 --> 00:12:58,216 Hey. Hey, you okay? 323 00:12:58,965 --> 00:13:00,508 - Uhh! - Oh, sh... 324 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,115 Why the fuck was Mandy Milkovich at my house 325 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,144 trying to screw Jody? 326 00:13:05,169 --> 00:13:07,286 He turned her down and told me what happened. 327 00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,954 Yeah, 'cause he's a fucking pussy. 328 00:13:09,144 --> 00:13:11,582 Fuck you! Stay the fuck away from me, 329 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,698 and stay the fuck away from this baby! 330 00:13:18,917 --> 00:13:20,549 Why can't I just get a C-section? 331 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,569 - You're too far along, sweetie. - Sometimes Mother Nature 332 00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,784 has other plans, honey. 333 00:13:23,809 --> 00:13:25,638 Fuck Mother Nature. 334 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,407 She doesn't have to worry about her vagina getting stretched. 335 00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:28,641 - Ow! - You were already 336 00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:30,935 pretty stretched out down there, Karen. 337 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,160 That thing looks weird. 338 00:13:34,034 --> 00:13:35,499 - And he's Asian. - Maybe we're just 339 00:13:35,524 --> 00:13:37,317 looking at him upside down. 340 00:13:40,417 --> 00:13:42,655 So it's looking serious about Mandy Skankovich. 341 00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:44,114 Nice. 342 00:13:44,785 --> 00:13:46,667 Oh, shit, Mandy. I'm sorry. 343 00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:48,534 You know I woulda never said that to your face. 344 00:13:48,597 --> 00:13:50,704 I know you're seeing Lip, but like I told him, 345 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,948 I think it's great. 346 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:56,034 What? I came by last Tuesday to say hi. 347 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:59,213 She's a skanky, manipulative bitch. 348 00:13:59,503 --> 00:14:01,257 Why don't you just dump her? 349 00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:02,883 - Less talking, more riding. - Oh! 350 00:14:04,743 --> 00:14:06,787 Fuck you too! 351 00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:13,435 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 352 00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:17,439 Your current girlfriend ran over your ex-girlfriend? 353 00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,125 I don't know... I don't... I don't know what she's capable of. 354 00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,609 Dude, you're at DEFCON 1. 355 00:14:20,634 --> 00:14:22,177 You need to get the fuck outta there. 356 00:14:22,202 --> 00:14:23,829 We haven't had sex in over a week. 357 00:14:24,152 --> 00:14:26,507 Whatever you do, do not... 358 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,701 do not let her bone you. 359 00:14:30,184 --> 00:14:31,605 The fuck?! 360 00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:36,297 You belong here with me, 361 00:14:36,322 --> 00:14:38,533 not with that fucking vegetable. 362 00:14:41,796 --> 00:14:44,507 Oh, let me take a look at you, buddy. 363 00:14:45,081 --> 00:14:46,569 Aw, shoot. 364 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,405 You got all this green gunk comin' outta your nose. 365 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:51,223 Come on, let's see if we can get rid a that, huh? 366 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,766 Here we go. 367 00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:54,370 All right. 368 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,729 How's that? 369 00:14:56,754 --> 00:14:58,339 Huh? 370 00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:01,066 Is that helping your cute little congested nose? 371 00:15:01,091 --> 00:15:03,260 Hey, you wanna hear some more of my story? 372 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,737 Huh? 373 00:15:04,762 --> 00:15:06,472 Yeah, you do? 374 00:15:06,497 --> 00:15:09,159 All right, let's do it. Um... 375 00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,118 Well, eventually, 376 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,972 Lip... graduated from high school, 377 00:15:14,816 --> 00:15:18,000 and he left the comfort of his family and community 378 00:15:18,276 --> 00:15:20,486 to go off to college. 379 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,714 Fuck me! 380 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,674 That's what I was doing! 381 00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:26,675 Shit! 382 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,761 Uh... eh... What... 383 00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,262 Lord have Mercy! 384 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,597 Okay. 385 00:15:33,354 --> 00:15:35,964 Before we delve too deeply into... 386 00:15:37,464 --> 00:15:39,897 Problems of modernity, let me remind you... 387 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,274 Nine a.m. 388 00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,777 And social... 389 00:15:44,835 --> 00:15:46,879 I don't plan on keeping you that long. 390 00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,280 I try to make a point 391 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,799 of not banging my roommate's girlfriend. 392 00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,784 You were hoping I'd be here. 393 00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,042 Excuse me, guys. 394 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,336 Forgot my Spinoza. 395 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,380 I-I-I'm so sorry. Just let me explain. 396 00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:05,965 - It's... it's okay. - I-I'm really... 397 00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:08,133 You don't need to be sorry. I owe you one. 398 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:09,456 We're cool? 399 00:16:09,481 --> 00:16:11,679 Best part about getting a blow job from Amanda... 400 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,264 Ten minutes of silence. Come on, dude. 401 00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,437 These are my parents. 402 00:16:20,831 --> 00:16:22,815 - They're white. - Yeah, I can... see that. 403 00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:25,234 Well, they bought me from a Subic Bay whorehouse, so... 404 00:16:25,259 --> 00:16:26,469 go Navy! 405 00:16:29,402 --> 00:16:31,170 I don't understand my grade on this paper. 406 00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:32,992 You tried to be clever, but there were 407 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:35,095 no compelling insights or any attempt at original thought. 408 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:38,789 Original thought on Byron's Childe Harold's Pilgrimage? 409 00:16:39,050 --> 00:16:41,425 Look, nobody's had an original thought on Childe Harold 410 00:16:41,450 --> 00:16:43,744 since Queen Victoria was still getting laid. 411 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,424 The house mother for my sorority 412 00:16:48,449 --> 00:16:49,843 is interviewing for house boy today. 413 00:16:49,868 --> 00:16:51,662 Now, you are not allowed to use the bathroom 414 00:16:51,687 --> 00:16:53,164 - on the upper levels. - The room, though, 415 00:16:53,189 --> 00:16:54,792 - it's here in the house? - Hey, do you want 416 00:16:54,817 --> 00:16:55,855 any company later? 417 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:57,783 It can get kinda creepy in the basement. 418 00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,643 Uh... 419 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:00,894 yeah. 420 00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:02,771 Ah... 421 00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:04,732 Who was that... Antonia? 422 00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,817 - Me. - Let's do this. 423 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,238 You're fired, obviously. 424 00:17:11,589 --> 00:17:13,824 Why? I kinda blacked out. I... 425 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,909 Not before you took all the group sorority photos 426 00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,953 off the wall and used a marker to circle 427 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,329 all the girls that you slept with. 428 00:17:19,488 --> 00:17:21,331 I did that? 429 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,934 When I told you you had to leave, 430 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,436 you, uh, decided to mark your territory. 431 00:17:24,659 --> 00:17:26,336 You peed on the carpet. 432 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,505 The, uh, carpets weren't the final target 433 00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:29,715 of your yellow tsunami. 434 00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:31,884 Where else? 435 00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:34,053 Not where. Who. 436 00:17:34,238 --> 00:17:35,721 I peed on you. 437 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,639 I'll be out in an hour. 438 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:38,724 Yeah. 439 00:17:46,902 --> 00:17:48,650 You're disrupting the midterm. 440 00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:50,331 I know, sorry. I'm a few minutes late. 441 00:17:51,206 --> 00:17:52,755 Six minutes. 442 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,972 I'm sure next test, you'll leave plenty of extra time 443 00:17:54,997 --> 00:17:56,245 and arrive early. 444 00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:02,372 What the fuck was that for? 445 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,291 Making me fall in love with you. 446 00:18:04,628 --> 00:18:06,376 I didn't make you do anything. 447 00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:10,564 Yes, you did, because you're so fucking... you! 448 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,299 Oh, fuck! 449 00:18:12,420 --> 00:18:14,088 Aah! 450 00:18:19,768 --> 00:18:21,540 Thank you. 451 00:18:21,699 --> 00:18:24,244 It was there that he met 452 00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:27,481 two of the most influential people in his life. 453 00:18:27,730 --> 00:18:29,333 They were role models 454 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,323 who showed Lip how to be a productive 455 00:18:33,128 --> 00:18:35,706 and moral member of the human race. 456 00:18:48,269 --> 00:18:50,604 - Fuck happened? - Drove into a house. 457 00:18:51,035 --> 00:18:52,464 Kill anybody? 458 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,467 According to Horkheimer, was nothing short of liberation 459 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:57,480 from the circumstances that a... 460 00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,680 - Hey, sorry, uh... - You're late. 461 00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:01,140 Yeah, I couldn't find the building. 462 00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:04,222 It's the third class, so you're a week and ten minutes late. 463 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,228 - What'd I miss? - Do you even know 464 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,105 what critical theory is? 465 00:19:08,163 --> 00:19:09,414 Question everything, 466 00:19:09,824 --> 00:19:11,567 uh, why things are the way they are. 467 00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:12,943 Why they should be different. 468 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,754 Uh, you know, it's the only thing I'm good at... 469 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,511 Calling bullshit. 470 00:19:18,187 --> 00:19:20,606 Mellow rock 471 00:19:24,721 --> 00:19:27,182 No... don't stop. 472 00:19:40,319 --> 00:19:42,293 Oh, your husband's sitting in the corner of the room. 473 00:19:42,929 --> 00:19:44,230 Hello. 474 00:19:45,590 --> 00:19:46,935 What's he doing? 475 00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,437 Just waiting for us to finish 476 00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:50,074 so he can come to bed. 477 00:19:51,394 --> 00:19:52,816 This must be strange for you. 478 00:19:52,841 --> 00:19:55,170 A little bit, yeah, it's a little... it's a little strange. 479 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,129 So my husband says to meet him at 59th 480 00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:58,948 and Dorchester, and he'll give you a ride. 481 00:20:09,233 --> 00:20:11,551 - Talk dirty to me. - Okay. 482 00:20:11,576 --> 00:20:13,962 Um... I'm gonna slap you with my big dick 483 00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:15,881 and come all over your face. 484 00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:18,275 Jesus. Maybe not that dirty. 485 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,844 Oh, never mind, never mind. 486 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,387 - I'm gonna come anyway. - All right. 487 00:20:22,412 --> 00:20:24,748 Helené, she's got my head all messed up. 488 00:20:24,773 --> 00:20:26,700 It's not your lady professor. 489 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,754 - It's that. - What, the booze? 490 00:20:28,779 --> 00:20:30,687 You seen how much I pour down my gullet? 491 00:20:30,745 --> 00:20:32,372 I went down on my professor. 492 00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,900 Oh! What's his name? 493 00:20:35,199 --> 00:20:37,085 You take his whole dick in your mouth? 494 00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:40,371 I heard... she might be fucking somebody new. 495 00:20:43,727 --> 00:20:45,244 - Did you fuck her? - What? 496 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:47,746 Did you fuck her? 497 00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:50,123 You beat up Dylan? 498 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,935 - You beat up my son? - I didn't know he was your son! 499 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,670 - Are you out of your mind? - Professor? Tiffany Thomas! 500 00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:57,798 Yeah, I was in your Intro to Ethics last semester. 501 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,177 - Jesus. - Remember this. 502 00:21:02,202 --> 00:21:04,412 We have only two jobs on this earth. 503 00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:06,425 The first, to learn. 504 00:21:07,198 --> 00:21:09,573 The second, to cope. 505 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,003 Professor Youens. 506 00:21:11,661 --> 00:21:13,329 Hey, morning. 507 00:21:16,050 --> 00:21:19,862 Uh, listen up. Professor Youens has been detained. 508 00:21:19,887 --> 00:21:21,571 Now, for a well-behaved function, 509 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,615 there's always an nth-degree polynomial... 510 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,760 take you to an error curve that oscillates back and forth 511 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:26,743 between positive epsilon... 512 00:21:26,768 --> 00:21:28,144 Thank you, Mr. Gallagher. 513 00:21:29,978 --> 00:21:31,565 You... 514 00:21:31,621 --> 00:21:33,652 should consider teaching. 515 00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:36,295 Is it that hard to believe 516 00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:37,605 that someone thinks you have a bright future 517 00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,198 and wants to help you get there? 518 00:21:39,223 --> 00:21:41,174 You need to get used to it, Lip. 519 00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:43,819 Just met with my buddy Kurt Freund 520 00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:45,512 over at Chapman Energy Systems. 521 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,306 - Oh, yeah? - I got you an internship 522 00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:48,974 with him for next summer. 523 00:21:48,999 --> 00:21:50,534 Yeah, I'm not really an internship guy. 524 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,494 You know, you have a choice right now 525 00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:53,979 to recognize that you are 526 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,522 a promising young college student, 527 00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,274 not some ghetto outlaw. 528 00:21:59,343 --> 00:22:00,720 Where'd you get that? 529 00:22:00,794 --> 00:22:03,297 Some girl Tweeted it. 530 00:22:06,099 --> 00:22:08,768 How the fuck could you send out that picture of Helené? 531 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:10,503 You shouldn't have screwed me over. 532 00:22:10,528 --> 00:22:12,998 I never made any fucking promises to you! 533 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,595 Yes, you fucking well did! 534 00:22:14,620 --> 00:22:16,435 With your eyes... 535 00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,300 and your smile and your cock! 536 00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:21,256 - Helené? - Don't follow me. 537 00:22:21,281 --> 00:22:24,617 Stay away from my home, my husband, my son. 538 00:22:24,758 --> 00:22:26,158 Fuck! 539 00:22:27,237 --> 00:22:29,181 Professor Runyon? That was you? 540 00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:31,016 Jesus Christ! You saw it too? 541 00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:32,577 I'd say that's some elephant-sized shit 542 00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:33,519 hittin' the fan. 543 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,800 Yeah. 544 00:22:34,825 --> 00:22:37,292 You just fucking come out and you talk to me! 545 00:22:37,473 --> 00:22:39,600 Helené! 546 00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:42,355 - Excuse us. - What, what, fucking what? 547 00:22:43,878 --> 00:22:45,873 You smell like a distillery. 548 00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:48,408 You're losing your shit. Go home, sober up! 549 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,535 I changed your shirt 550 00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:53,334 when you woke up covered in your own vomit. 551 00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:55,916 I helped you shave your face before your faculty meeting 552 00:22:55,957 --> 00:22:57,542 'cause your hand was so fucking shaky! 553 00:22:57,584 --> 00:22:59,520 You need to stop talking now, Lip... you're doing damage 554 00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:01,129 - to yourself. - You don't give a shit 555 00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:03,507 about me. You don't give a shit about me 556 00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,550 because you don't have to... right? 557 00:23:05,575 --> 00:23:07,535 You're just sittin' pretty in your ivory tower, 558 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:09,274 and I'm a fucking insect crawling 559 00:23:09,298 --> 00:23:11,390 on the wall till you squash me, right? 560 00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:13,683 What, 'cause that makes you feel fucking powerful? 561 00:23:13,741 --> 00:23:15,535 'Cause you fucked up your own life, 562 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,063 and you fucking hate yourself for it. 563 00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:20,148 And I was your ticket outta the gutter, pal, 564 00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:21,483 and you just blew it. 565 00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:22,859 You're officially fuckin' fired! 566 00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:24,903 Fuck you! Fuck you! 567 00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,696 Fuck you, fuck... God... 568 00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:28,407 Fuck you! 569 00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:30,325 You like that, motherfucker? 570 00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:31,910 Oh, you feel that shit? 571 00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,745 Fuck you, Youens! 572 00:23:33,787 --> 00:23:36,415 Hey! Hey, what the hell are you doin'? 573 00:23:37,222 --> 00:23:38,703 What the fuck? 574 00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,422 Fuck off! 575 00:23:43,447 --> 00:23:45,054 - Fuck! Shit! - Don't move! 576 00:23:46,665 --> 00:23:48,291 At that university, 577 00:23:48,802 --> 00:23:50,971 it was his exemplary actions 578 00:23:51,029 --> 00:23:52,489 and behavior 579 00:23:52,514 --> 00:23:54,115 that laid the foundation 580 00:23:54,307 --> 00:23:56,608 for his future life in diversity. 581 00:23:56,810 --> 00:23:58,538 So you can help me get a job? Gotta get a job. 582 00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:00,081 I came to get the details about the job. 583 00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:02,232 The first day a work, you'll be cryin' like a baby. 584 00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,584 I'm guessing they're planning on having us 585 00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:05,253 dump toxic waste someplace where toxic waste 586 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:06,778 should not be dumped. 587 00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:08,756 - I think I tweaked my back. - You're not gunnin' for 588 00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:10,256 - Workman's Comp, are ya, kid? - No, I-I just... 589 00:24:10,281 --> 00:24:12,576 Good. 'Cause the comp stands for competition 590 00:24:12,601 --> 00:24:14,520 from the Mexicans who all want your job. 591 00:24:14,545 --> 00:24:16,171 - Aah! - Next man up. 592 00:24:16,196 --> 00:24:17,973 - Phillip, Tito. Senior Intern. - Hey. 593 00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:19,058 You can start by getting coffee. 594 00:24:19,082 --> 00:24:20,292 Four double shots of expresso. 595 00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:21,477 He doesn't like to take the goggles off. 596 00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:22,627 Copy that. 597 00:24:22,669 --> 00:24:24,963 - Gotta piss! - Oh, that's you, man. 598 00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:26,965 You're changing his piss bag. 599 00:24:29,682 --> 00:24:33,393 No one move. The premises is under federal investigation. 600 00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:35,783 - What's going on? - They're seizing the servers. 601 00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:37,160 Thought you said this was legal! 602 00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:38,477 Yeah, I guess not. 603 00:24:38,502 --> 00:24:40,212 I could use a job. 604 00:24:40,237 --> 00:24:41,738 Could use another dishwasher. 605 00:24:41,763 --> 00:24:43,598 - Shit! - You sure about this? 606 00:24:43,623 --> 00:24:45,333 I mean, WiFi is a little out of my comfort zone. 607 00:24:45,358 --> 00:24:47,128 It's time to get a piece of the action. 608 00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:49,029 They don't suspect a fucking thing. 609 00:24:49,070 --> 00:24:50,473 The system's down. You think they're onto us? 610 00:24:50,498 --> 00:24:52,565 No, no, no, the website just went back online. 611 00:24:52,590 --> 00:24:53,958 - It probably just crashed. - Okay, let me know 612 00:24:53,983 --> 00:24:56,106 - when it's back up. - All right, I'm on it. 613 00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:58,222 How long till we're up and running again? 614 00:24:58,246 --> 00:24:59,998 - We're shut down. - Fuck me. 615 00:25:00,023 --> 00:25:01,774 You... take care of Rocky! 616 00:25:01,799 --> 00:25:03,926 Take care of Rocky! 617 00:25:07,601 --> 00:25:09,395 - Oh, my God... - Hey, stop! 618 00:25:09,420 --> 00:25:10,754 This is my job! 619 00:25:10,779 --> 00:25:13,678 So what qualifies you to be a sober companion? 620 00:25:13,703 --> 00:25:15,309 I know how a drunk thinks. 621 00:25:19,848 --> 00:25:22,854 Here we go. Virgin Bloody Mary. 622 00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:25,169 - Are you positive it's virgin? - It's absolutely, 623 00:25:25,194 --> 00:25:27,071 one hundred percent a virgin. 624 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,611 - Oh, my God! - You told Fred the waiter 625 00:25:29,636 --> 00:25:31,030 that a virgin meant to make it a double 626 00:25:31,055 --> 00:25:32,681 when I was in the bathroom. 627 00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:39,185 All right, Fredtastic. 628 00:25:39,996 --> 00:25:42,154 Let's get you outta here before we both melt, huh? 629 00:25:42,999 --> 00:25:45,043 There we go. 630 00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:46,479 Come on, come on, come on. 631 00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:48,046 Chh, chh, chh, chh, chh, chh, chh. 632 00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:51,883 Chh-chh-chh, chh-chh-chh, chh-chh-chh. 633 00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:53,756 All right, handsome. 634 00:25:54,146 --> 00:25:57,973 Let's go ahead and prop you up right here, all right? 635 00:25:58,014 --> 00:26:01,059 That will help you breathe a little bit better. 636 00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:02,980 Right? Hopefully. 637 00:26:03,639 --> 00:26:06,100 Get you nice and comfy. 638 00:26:07,305 --> 00:26:09,307 There we go now. 639 00:26:10,777 --> 00:26:13,613 Now I want you to try and rest your eyes, okay? 640 00:26:14,045 --> 00:26:16,683 Try and rest your eyes, get some sleep, huh? 641 00:26:17,706 --> 00:26:21,246 You know, if I was anything like your Granddad Frank, 642 00:26:21,488 --> 00:26:24,511 I'd give you some special magic juice to go to sleep. 643 00:26:25,443 --> 00:26:27,675 You know, that's what he used to give me when I was little. 644 00:26:28,378 --> 00:26:31,793 Which is why I liked that special magic juice 645 00:26:31,818 --> 00:26:33,820 so much when I got older. 646 00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:37,262 But I'm not gonna do that to you, 647 00:26:37,444 --> 00:26:38,807 all right? 648 00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:42,386 That "like father, like son" tradition ends right here. 649 00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:45,353 Why you gotta be such an asshole? 650 00:26:45,378 --> 00:26:46,658 Apple fell where you dropped it. 651 00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:49,774 Push-ups. 10 bucks in. 652 00:26:49,816 --> 00:26:51,443 - My kid'll hold. - 20. 653 00:26:51,468 --> 00:26:52,511 Thank you. 654 00:26:52,536 --> 00:26:53,745 And go! 655 00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:54,904 One... 656 00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:56,615 seven, eight... 657 00:26:56,656 --> 00:26:58,825 Nine! Bobby's done. 658 00:27:00,101 --> 00:27:01,227 32... 659 00:27:01,269 --> 00:27:02,854 Oh! 660 00:27:05,741 --> 00:27:06,867 Hey, can I get another shot? 661 00:27:06,892 --> 00:27:08,472 Hey, can I get another? 662 00:27:08,497 --> 00:27:10,795 - Whoa! - You look like shit. 663 00:27:10,820 --> 00:27:13,175 Lookin' like a chip off the old block there, son. 664 00:27:15,855 --> 00:27:17,528 - You're just like me. - You hear me? 665 00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:18,720 I'm not my fucking dad! 666 00:27:18,745 --> 00:27:20,955 Are you supposed to give Valium to a baby? 667 00:27:21,030 --> 00:27:22,490 It always worked with you. 668 00:27:22,515 --> 00:27:24,225 Try a speedball after a bender. 669 00:27:24,250 --> 00:27:26,161 Next day, you'll be movin' like a pro. 670 00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:27,729 - Dine 'n dash? - Bite and bolt. 671 00:27:27,754 --> 00:27:28,921 Take the front door. 672 00:27:28,946 --> 00:27:30,364 Do you think, in his own way, 673 00:27:30,389 --> 00:27:32,349 Frank's actually a pretty good dad? 674 00:27:32,933 --> 00:27:35,129 - No. - I remember the first time 675 00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:36,613 - I brought you here. - Fuck you! 676 00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:37,989 You never took me skating. 677 00:27:38,014 --> 00:27:39,766 Gallaghers do not puke. 678 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,912 Domino effect! 679 00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:44,412 - Oh! - Ohh! 680 00:27:45,167 --> 00:27:47,082 Okay, now, where were we, huh? 681 00:27:47,123 --> 00:27:49,125 What were we talkin' about? 682 00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:50,752 We were, um... 683 00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:53,672 with Lip in college, right? 684 00:27:53,713 --> 00:27:56,197 Now, when Lip was done with school, 685 00:27:56,222 --> 00:27:59,511 like many millennials, he moved home 686 00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:03,473 to the comfort and stability of his family and neighborhood. 687 00:28:06,935 --> 00:28:10,355 Hey, nicely done, Deb. Great job! 688 00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:13,316 Can someone help me get down, please, for fuck's sake! 689 00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:14,984 Lookin' for some workers 690 00:28:15,009 --> 00:28:16,678 to help with a home masonry project. 691 00:28:16,703 --> 00:28:18,789 - Frank? - Pickax... sledge hammer. 692 00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:23,803 What the fuck? 693 00:28:23,827 --> 00:28:25,161 Aah! 694 00:28:25,186 --> 00:28:27,589 Honestly, I feel like I'm rolling. 695 00:28:28,056 --> 00:28:30,392 Did you spike our fuckin' drinks? 696 00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:32,502 Yeah, with Molly. It's a party. 697 00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:33,854 This is how you help me stay sober? 698 00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:35,231 She was acting in your best interests. 699 00:28:35,255 --> 00:28:37,019 I don't know why I'm even surprised. 700 00:28:37,044 --> 00:28:38,884 I'm surprised... I mean, since when 701 00:28:38,925 --> 00:28:40,635 have they ever shared their drugs? 702 00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:48,792 Fuck. Epic party. 703 00:28:49,066 --> 00:28:51,246 No reason not to keep it goin'. 704 00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:52,698 Wakey, wakey. 705 00:28:54,774 --> 00:28:56,359 Monica? 706 00:28:56,401 --> 00:28:58,153 Monica? Come on, sweetheart. 707 00:28:58,194 --> 00:28:59,904 Come on. Come on, open your eyes. 708 00:28:59,946 --> 00:29:01,114 Come on! 709 00:29:01,139 --> 00:29:02,473 She shit herself? 710 00:29:02,498 --> 00:29:03,967 People shit themselves when they die. 711 00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:06,035 - So she's dead. - Yes. 712 00:29:06,077 --> 00:29:08,204 - Drug overdose? - Massive cerebral hemorrhage. 713 00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:09,598 All that's Monica's stuff? 714 00:29:09,622 --> 00:29:11,416 Anybody got a rock and a lighter? 715 00:29:12,073 --> 00:29:14,377 - What's the tag say? - Monica had a storage unit? 716 00:29:15,628 --> 00:29:17,881 Your inheritance. 717 00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:20,041 Frank found seven pounds of meth 718 00:29:20,066 --> 00:29:22,051 in some shitty storage locker 719 00:29:22,093 --> 00:29:23,738 that Monica had, and now he wants to sell it. 720 00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:26,175 It's like a family heirloom... Only drugs. 721 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:27,823 And it's getting flushed down the toilet! 722 00:29:27,848 --> 00:29:32,361 Nobody flushes $70,000' worth of maternal bequest. 723 00:29:32,386 --> 00:29:33,271 How much? 724 00:29:33,313 --> 00:29:34,731 - Lip. - What? 725 00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:37,275 I moved your meth. 726 00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:38,847 Got your Monica Franklins. 727 00:29:39,636 --> 00:29:41,196 Smoked up all my meth. 728 00:29:41,237 --> 00:29:42,792 Got over your mother, and now I'm a new man. 729 00:29:42,817 --> 00:29:44,152 Hey! 730 00:29:44,508 --> 00:29:46,573 You're the little fuckers who stole my meth. 731 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,120 - Aw, shit! - Hey, wait... 732 00:29:49,162 --> 00:29:51,956 Fuckin' Monica, fuckin' up our lives, even in death. 733 00:29:51,998 --> 00:29:54,793 This meth head doesn't know where we live. 734 00:29:54,818 --> 00:29:56,069 Hey! 735 00:29:56,094 --> 00:29:57,053 Yo! 736 00:29:57,078 --> 00:29:58,580 Uhh! 737 00:29:58,605 --> 00:30:00,542 Either she smoked it, she sold it, 738 00:30:00,567 --> 00:30:02,300 or her fucked-up family stole it. 739 00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:03,968 And in any one of those scenarios, 740 00:30:04,010 --> 00:30:07,222 I am still owed 70 fuckin' grand! 741 00:30:07,514 --> 00:30:08,908 - You could tell us... - Just tell us 742 00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:10,159 what you did with the last two pounds of meth. 743 00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:11,410 Is this the part where you lecture us? 744 00:30:11,434 --> 00:30:12,828 'Cause if you could just speed it up a little... 745 00:30:12,852 --> 00:30:14,205 You wanna be a smartass, you want my help? 746 00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:15,188 I was right. 747 00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:16,066 I was right! 748 00:30:16,091 --> 00:30:18,149 I was super fuckin' right! 749 00:30:18,191 --> 00:30:19,943 You were right, and I was wrong, Fiona. 750 00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:21,653 Now, can you please 751 00:30:21,678 --> 00:30:23,031 tell us where you put the rest of the drugs 752 00:30:23,056 --> 00:30:25,433 so that motherfucker doesn't eat your eyeballs too. 753 00:30:25,458 --> 00:30:27,251 We're gonna need a lotta shovels. 754 00:30:29,284 --> 00:30:31,955 Ugh! This is some seriously sick shit. 755 00:30:31,996 --> 00:30:34,374 Yeah, no joke, Fiona. 756 00:30:34,415 --> 00:30:35,893 Oh, God... who buries her mother with meth? 757 00:30:47,637 --> 00:30:49,389 Go, go! Go! 758 00:30:49,414 --> 00:30:52,376 - Go! - Oh, my God! 759 00:30:56,177 --> 00:30:58,730 Oh, careful, Carl. Don't go too deep, all right? 760 00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:14,539 Now 761 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,566 - What is that smell? - That stench? 762 00:31:22,591 --> 00:31:25,842 That's Monica. And if you come near my family, 763 00:31:25,867 --> 00:31:29,036 as God is my witness, I will bury you with her. 764 00:31:29,980 --> 00:31:31,566 And by this time, 765 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:35,417 Lip became an upstanding member of the community 766 00:31:36,011 --> 00:31:39,473 and contributed to the betterment of society. 767 00:31:47,822 --> 00:31:49,449 Jesus, what the hell, Lip? 768 00:31:49,474 --> 00:31:51,554 What, you never learned how to throw a fucking punch? 769 00:31:56,372 --> 00:31:57,874 Oh, that's it? Ohh! 770 00:31:57,899 --> 00:32:00,401 Oh, damn! 771 00:32:01,794 --> 00:32:03,514 - Come here! - Easy, easy, easy! 772 00:32:12,221 --> 00:32:15,784 He'd grown into a strapping young man 773 00:32:16,462 --> 00:32:18,534 who was ready to face the world 774 00:32:18,728 --> 00:32:20,323 and make something of himself. 775 00:32:20,769 --> 00:32:22,453 This is what happens when your entire life 776 00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:24,192 goes completely to shit. 777 00:32:24,217 --> 00:32:25,677 Wanna do something silly and stupid? 778 00:32:25,702 --> 00:32:27,203 It's cool if I, uh, wear this? 779 00:32:27,228 --> 00:32:28,247 Long as you wear nothing else. 780 00:32:28,272 --> 00:32:29,857 - Go! - No... no! 781 00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:32,575 I kinda have to stay soberish. 782 00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:34,953 Why? You driving heavy machinery later tonight? 783 00:32:34,994 --> 00:32:37,038 If your vagina's heavy machinery, then yeah, I am. 784 00:32:39,666 --> 00:32:42,001 This is gonna be funny. 785 00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:43,687 Hi, Lip. Are you gonna have sex with my sister? 786 00:32:43,711 --> 00:32:45,171 - Ha... - I'm glad you're 787 00:32:45,196 --> 00:32:46,798 - her new boyfriend. - I'm not her boyfriend. 788 00:32:46,823 --> 00:32:47,967 You gonna keep it fun and casual? 789 00:32:48,007 --> 00:32:50,009 I could casually go down on you later. 790 00:32:50,034 --> 00:32:52,119 Bring your tongue. 791 00:32:52,144 --> 00:32:54,104 Oh, fucking hell. 792 00:32:54,129 --> 00:32:55,380 Don't forget anal. 793 00:32:57,016 --> 00:32:58,935 We're not doing anal. 794 00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:00,245 - Unbelievable. - You never heard of 795 00:33:00,269 --> 00:33:01,562 female ejaculation? 796 00:33:01,587 --> 00:33:03,297 That's the white whale! 797 00:33:03,322 --> 00:33:05,741 Every guys dreams of it, but only a few ever get the chance. 798 00:33:05,766 --> 00:33:08,002 Oh, no, I-I just thought it was a myth. 799 00:33:08,027 --> 00:33:09,487 Jesus, you think I get goosebumps 800 00:33:09,529 --> 00:33:11,322 every time you whip out your magic cock? 801 00:33:11,364 --> 00:33:13,658 Ah. Mind... blown. 802 00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:15,326 Sounds fun. 803 00:33:15,351 --> 00:33:17,011 - You've been drinking? - No. Hey. 804 00:33:17,036 --> 00:33:18,263 I already have one out-of-control addict 805 00:33:18,287 --> 00:33:20,790 in my life... I don't need two. 806 00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:22,184 Hey, man, are we in the north side? 807 00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:23,626 You broke into my home? 808 00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:24,836 - What? - Get some help. 809 00:33:24,861 --> 00:33:25,988 Please get help. 810 00:33:28,548 --> 00:33:29,738 Coming in, buddy? 811 00:33:34,750 --> 00:33:37,199 I woke up this morning feeling like I really needed a drink. 812 00:33:37,223 --> 00:33:38,474 Good with your hands? 813 00:33:42,086 --> 00:33:43,980 - Hi. - Fuck off, runt. 814 00:33:44,005 --> 00:33:45,672 You gonna fix that bike or fuck it? 815 00:33:45,697 --> 00:33:48,210 - What's your problem? - He's been yappin' about ass 816 00:33:48,234 --> 00:33:49,861 - nonstop. - You gotta stay busy, man. 817 00:33:49,902 --> 00:33:51,563 I need some fuckin' pussy! 818 00:33:52,665 --> 00:33:54,917 Get upstairs. Now. 819 00:33:57,410 --> 00:33:59,203 Oh... 820 00:34:01,372 --> 00:34:02,683 Think you can hit me a little less? 821 00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:03,916 Shut up! 822 00:34:03,958 --> 00:34:06,210 - Ohh, damn it! - Say it, bitch! 823 00:34:06,252 --> 00:34:08,838 - See you at the shop, runt. - Yeah... uh... 824 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,232 You know you got a little scratch on your... 825 00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:11,592 Hey, piss off. 826 00:34:13,092 --> 00:34:14,492 You ever hear of a safe word? 827 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,179 Yeah. How 'bout stop? 828 00:34:16,220 --> 00:34:17,638 Ooh... 829 00:34:19,432 --> 00:34:21,225 Shit! 830 00:34:21,267 --> 00:34:22,560 Oh! 831 00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:23,895 Should we help 'em? 832 00:34:23,936 --> 00:34:25,480 Sounds voluntary. 833 00:34:25,521 --> 00:34:27,857 - Barb? - Oh, hey, hi. 834 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,192 - Hey. - How's it going, man? 835 00:34:29,233 --> 00:34:30,419 - It's all right. - Have a seat. 836 00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:32,047 Thanks. Uh... 837 00:34:32,477 --> 00:34:33,756 Thanks for... for meeting me, you know. 838 00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:35,907 Brad spoke very highly of you, so... 839 00:34:35,948 --> 00:34:38,078 I-I didn't know I could have a woman as a sponsor. 840 00:34:38,103 --> 00:34:40,119 Oh, yeah. Anybody's a sponsor as long as 841 00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:42,602 there is no risk of falling in love with that person. 842 00:34:43,508 --> 00:34:45,583 Well, you never know, right? 843 00:34:45,625 --> 00:34:47,543 Ah... fat chance, honey. 844 00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:50,797 So... what are we doing here? 845 00:34:50,822 --> 00:34:52,656 Uh, well... 846 00:34:53,466 --> 00:34:55,885 I-I got some shit goin' on, you know. 847 00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:58,012 I got this professor. He got carted off to prison. 848 00:34:58,054 --> 00:34:59,305 Come on, you have court today. 849 00:34:59,347 --> 00:35:00,890 I got this ex who's dating this guy 850 00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:02,297 who just got some other girl pregnant, so... 851 00:35:02,322 --> 00:35:05,770 I'm sorry, did I just walk into an episode of Gossip Girl? 852 00:35:05,795 --> 00:35:07,338 I-I'm sharing, you know. 853 00:35:07,396 --> 00:35:09,313 - Where's Eddie? - She quit. 854 00:35:09,338 --> 00:35:11,818 Took off for Cabo with some guy she met at Sturgis. 855 00:35:11,859 --> 00:35:14,129 - She coming back for the kid? - Should call Social Services 856 00:35:14,153 --> 00:35:15,756 - to come pick her up. - Why don't you come stay 857 00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:17,782 - with me for a couple days? - That'd be cool. 858 00:35:17,807 --> 00:35:19,100 Coming? 859 00:35:22,539 --> 00:35:24,622 - Say hi, Ted. - Hey. 860 00:35:24,664 --> 00:35:25,915 Oh, hell, no. Bye, Ted. 861 00:35:26,258 --> 00:35:28,376 - Hey! - He has a beard. 862 00:35:28,417 --> 00:35:29,544 - How do I look? - Stupid. 863 00:35:29,585 --> 00:35:30,729 Thanks. That's what I was goin' for. 864 00:35:30,753 --> 00:35:31,879 What is it? What's going on? 865 00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,131 They let my dad out. 866 00:35:33,156 --> 00:35:34,449 Is... is it true 867 00:35:34,474 --> 00:35:35,683 that you like to beat women? 868 00:35:35,708 --> 00:35:36,918 I guess what I'm asking is 869 00:35:36,943 --> 00:35:38,653 are you a little bitch woman-beat... 870 00:35:41,430 --> 00:35:43,349 You hear me? A fuckin' dead man! 871 00:35:44,474 --> 00:35:45,648 How'd we do? 872 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:47,812 - He swung first. - Oh, yeah? 873 00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:49,605 Uh, yeah, I'd like to report an assault. 874 00:35:49,630 --> 00:35:51,132 Charlie got some girl pregnant. 875 00:35:51,157 --> 00:35:52,659 She just had the fuckin' baby. 876 00:35:52,684 --> 00:35:54,627 Are you still delivering those special pizzas? 877 00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:55,969 Have it there in under 30. 878 00:35:55,994 --> 00:35:58,132 Charlie, an addict. I got a delivery. 879 00:35:58,157 --> 00:36:00,406 A gram of coke. On a pizza. 880 00:36:00,431 --> 00:36:02,886 I didn't do it yet... I don't know what to do with it. 881 00:36:02,910 --> 00:36:05,163 So I called my sponsor... 882 00:36:05,204 --> 00:36:07,165 I was gonna sabotage Charlie. Planted coke on him. 883 00:36:07,206 --> 00:36:09,333 Then I felt guilty. Broke into his apartment. 884 00:36:09,375 --> 00:36:10,936 Flushed the drugs. Got attacked by his dog. 885 00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:13,754 Ow! 886 00:36:13,796 --> 00:36:14,839 Let go! 887 00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:16,883 God... fuck! 888 00:36:16,908 --> 00:36:19,164 Hey, I-I gotta go, all right? My kid's in the emergency room. 889 00:36:19,189 --> 00:36:20,946 - You have a kid? - We'll get her over to X-ray 890 00:36:20,970 --> 00:36:22,305 - and set the arm. - Okay. 891 00:36:22,330 --> 00:36:24,199 And we can only release her to a parent or legal guardian. 892 00:36:24,223 --> 00:36:25,516 Okay, sweetie. 893 00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:34,025 Hey! 894 00:36:34,066 --> 00:36:35,943 Come on, we're gonna hide. 895 00:36:35,985 --> 00:36:38,863 Baby, why you got me so shook shook up, yeah 896 00:36:41,407 --> 00:36:43,868 Oh oh oh oh 897 00:36:43,893 --> 00:36:46,687 Oh 898 00:36:46,712 --> 00:36:49,339 If your mom doesn't come back, do you wanna stay with me here? 899 00:36:49,364 --> 00:36:51,484 Yeah. That'd be good. 900 00:36:52,919 --> 00:36:54,503 This is what I'm going through. 901 00:36:54,528 --> 00:36:56,881 Oh... what the hell are you talking about, man? 902 00:36:56,923 --> 00:36:59,175 You're not going through any of that crap. 903 00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:01,469 I mean, you have convinced yourself that you are. 904 00:37:01,509 --> 00:37:03,102 - Uh-huh. - It's, uh, fucking 905 00:37:03,127 --> 00:37:05,014 classic co-dependence. 906 00:37:05,039 --> 00:37:06,707 Mom? 907 00:37:11,649 --> 00:37:13,481 I knew you'd come back for me. 908 00:37:13,506 --> 00:37:15,050 Oh, my girl. 909 00:37:22,039 --> 00:37:23,925 I think you should give Charlie one last chance. 910 00:37:23,950 --> 00:37:25,734 - What? - I've been drunk... 911 00:37:26,452 --> 00:37:29,399 or high almost every day since I was 12 years old. 912 00:37:29,424 --> 00:37:31,582 - Do you fucking love me? - I don't know. 913 00:37:31,607 --> 00:37:33,150 - I want to. - Jesus. 914 00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:34,436 Okay? And it's because I care about you. 915 00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:36,203 Just go, Lip! 916 00:37:37,129 --> 00:37:38,756 Please. 917 00:37:38,781 --> 00:37:39,907 Oh, my God. 918 00:37:40,028 --> 00:37:42,155 I'm sorry. 919 00:37:45,893 --> 00:37:47,269 Co-dependent, huh? 920 00:37:47,795 --> 00:37:49,515 Try some Greek Goddess. 921 00:37:51,661 --> 00:37:52,870 The fuck is in this? 922 00:37:53,191 --> 00:37:54,374 Hey. 923 00:37:54,576 --> 00:37:55,869 Hey. 924 00:37:55,999 --> 00:37:57,458 Is he better? 925 00:37:57,483 --> 00:37:59,235 A little bit. 926 00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:01,821 Ah. Do you want me to read to him now? 927 00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:03,948 No, it's all right. 928 00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:05,477 I'm telling him my own story. 929 00:38:07,034 --> 00:38:08,995 - Oh, yeah? - Uh, yeah. 930 00:38:09,052 --> 00:38:10,429 Just about to get to the best part. 931 00:38:10,454 --> 00:38:12,373 Okay, well... 932 00:38:12,398 --> 00:38:14,000 don't let me stop you. 933 00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:19,922 Now, even though Lip... 934 00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:21,680 was a model citizen 935 00:38:21,705 --> 00:38:24,218 and was living the American dream... 936 00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:26,762 - Wait. This is about you? - Shh, shh, shh. 937 00:38:27,844 --> 00:38:29,890 He knew that something was missing 938 00:38:29,932 --> 00:38:31,586 in his life, 939 00:38:31,611 --> 00:38:34,031 that someone was missing in his life. 940 00:38:35,141 --> 00:38:37,315 His heart was so full of love, 941 00:38:37,356 --> 00:38:38,891 and he wanted to share that love, 942 00:38:39,993 --> 00:38:43,719 you know, with a kind and special woman. 943 00:38:45,489 --> 00:38:46,781 That's me. 944 00:38:47,199 --> 00:38:49,875 - Uh, maid of honor? - Yep, her sister, Tami. 945 00:38:51,871 --> 00:38:54,165 So you and Tami hit it off at the wedding. 946 00:38:54,206 --> 00:38:55,434 Yeah. Yeah, she's cute. 947 00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:56,459 - Come on. - Where? 948 00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:57,960 The maid of honor and best man 949 00:38:58,002 --> 00:38:59,337 always hook up at these things. 950 00:38:59,378 --> 00:39:00,588 Take her out on a real date. 951 00:39:00,629 --> 00:39:01,922 Go out for a steak or something. 952 00:39:01,964 --> 00:39:04,258 - You've done this before? - Seven times. 953 00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:06,802 You want my wedding pussy, don't you? 954 00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:09,281 There's nothing like a good woman to ground you. 955 00:39:09,764 --> 00:39:11,140 - Fuck! - Could be the one. 956 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,433 You never know. 957 00:39:12,475 --> 00:39:14,685 Okay, let's finish this thing. 958 00:39:14,727 --> 00:39:15,996 - I need another drink. - Look, I thought maybe 959 00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:18,189 you'd wanna, uh... go out to dinner. 960 00:39:18,230 --> 00:39:19,938 - Nah, I'm good. - What? 961 00:39:19,963 --> 00:39:22,318 - You fuck for shit. - I-I don't fuck for shit. 962 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,737 Oh, yeah, no, you fuck for shit. 963 00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:26,530 You were all like, jab, jab, jab. 964 00:39:26,572 --> 00:39:28,425 - Jab-jab-jab-jab-jab. - I was just trying to be 965 00:39:28,449 --> 00:39:29,926 - a nice guy. - Well, then you should have 966 00:39:29,950 --> 00:39:31,410 fucked me good and hard, 967 00:39:31,452 --> 00:39:33,195 'cause that would have been a nice guy. 968 00:39:33,454 --> 00:39:35,081 You know, have a good life, Pukey. 969 00:39:35,106 --> 00:39:36,900 Yeah, see ya later, Jabby. 970 00:39:36,957 --> 00:39:40,044 You guys invited Jabby? Jabby! 971 00:39:40,069 --> 00:39:42,196 Last time I saw you, you asked me to dinner. 972 00:39:42,221 --> 00:39:43,532 - That offer still good? - Why, you wanna go 973 00:39:43,557 --> 00:39:45,017 - on a date now? - Fuck me. I mean, 974 00:39:45,042 --> 00:39:46,335 I must be really hard up. 975 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:47,838 Wanna try to fuck me properly this time? 976 00:39:47,944 --> 00:39:48,903 What, like now? 977 00:39:52,723 --> 00:39:54,517 - So? - Eh. 978 00:39:54,558 --> 00:39:56,227 - Six outta ten? - What? 979 00:39:56,268 --> 00:39:57,895 That's it. We're going again, all right? 980 00:39:57,937 --> 00:39:59,688 And, I'm not letting you outta this car 981 00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:01,399 until I get a ten. 982 00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,150 - This is my car, punk. - Hey, I don't care 983 00:40:03,192 --> 00:40:05,236 - how long this takes. - Okay, well, wake me 984 00:40:05,277 --> 00:40:06,508 when it's over. 985 00:40:09,865 --> 00:40:10,908 Oh! 986 00:40:10,950 --> 00:40:12,938 Hey, Jabby. 987 00:40:12,963 --> 00:40:14,742 One of us needs to have an apartment 988 00:40:14,767 --> 00:40:16,734 so that we have a fuck pad, so man up. 989 00:40:16,899 --> 00:40:19,291 This guy has maybe the biggest dick I've ever seen. 990 00:40:19,333 --> 00:40:21,984 It's bulging through his pants like a fucking balloon animal. 991 00:40:22,009 --> 00:40:23,758 Don't look, though. Don't look! 992 00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:26,424 Whoa! No way that's real. 993 00:40:26,465 --> 00:40:27,967 - It's real. - We gotta go. 994 00:40:27,992 --> 00:40:30,304 - I can't live here, all right? - If you don't believe me... 995 00:40:30,329 --> 00:40:32,224 Hey, no, we believe you, man, we believe you, okay? 996 00:40:32,249 --> 00:40:33,417 That's not real! 997 00:40:33,472 --> 00:40:34,658 - It's not. - Either way, I don't want 998 00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:35,933 that guy fixing my sink. 999 00:40:35,975 --> 00:40:37,435 You know, I've been thinking about 1000 00:40:37,476 --> 00:40:38,620 turning our basement into a bedroom. 1001 00:40:38,644 --> 00:40:39,945 This could work, right? 1002 00:40:39,970 --> 00:40:42,440 Okay, was Silence of the Lambs filmed down here? 1003 00:40:42,481 --> 00:40:45,043 - I mean, where's the pit? - You know, it's actually out back. 1004 00:40:45,067 --> 00:40:47,987 - Come on, I'll show ya. - So you've got a bar of soap 1005 00:40:48,028 --> 00:40:49,548 with five different colors of pubes on it. 1006 00:40:49,572 --> 00:40:51,336 Wait, you guys can't all... share one bar of soap. 1007 00:40:51,361 --> 00:40:53,641 No, I don't... that's why I have the dishwashing liquid. 1008 00:40:53,666 --> 00:40:55,554 - What is this? - It's a box of clean underwear. 1009 00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:57,188 Yeah, we share our underwear. I don't have time to fold. 1010 00:40:57,213 --> 00:40:58,372 - You, Debs? - Nope. 1011 00:40:58,421 --> 00:41:00,131 What the fuck is that? 1012 00:41:00,156 --> 00:41:01,574 What, what? 1013 00:41:01,820 --> 00:41:03,322 That scratching noise. 1014 00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:08,336 There. Fixed it. 1015 00:41:08,361 --> 00:41:09,922 So what's the deal with you and my sister? 1016 00:41:10,092 --> 00:41:11,403 I don't think we have a deal. 1017 00:41:11,428 --> 00:41:13,138 Like, are you fucking other people? 1018 00:41:13,163 --> 00:41:15,614 Back off, Corey. He doesn't want the syph. 1019 00:41:18,184 --> 00:41:19,977 - Who's Boone? - Well, right now 1020 00:41:20,002 --> 00:41:21,500 he's the guy kissing your chick. 1021 00:41:23,230 --> 00:41:25,816 - He really likes you. - I'm extremely likeable. 1022 00:41:25,841 --> 00:41:27,634 You seem to be handling yourself pretty well. 1023 00:41:27,659 --> 00:41:28,928 Look, she's not my girlfriend, all right? 1024 00:41:28,953 --> 00:41:30,121 We can fuck whoever we want. 1025 00:41:30,146 --> 00:41:31,480 Oh, you are fucking other people. 1026 00:41:35,993 --> 00:41:37,203 I fucked your sister. 1027 00:41:37,244 --> 00:41:39,163 You're... really working hard 1028 00:41:39,205 --> 00:41:40,789 for that Tamietti hat trick. 1029 00:41:40,831 --> 00:41:42,875 Jesus, that doesn't bother you? 1030 00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:44,651 It bothers me. 1031 00:41:44,676 --> 00:41:46,854 Bothers me that you fucked Corey. 1032 00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,506 I mean... 1033 00:41:48,531 --> 00:41:50,742 of course it bothers me, Christ, I... 1034 00:41:50,767 --> 00:41:52,644 Maybe just don't fuck Boone anymore. 1035 00:41:52,669 --> 00:41:53,625 Fine. 1036 00:41:55,070 --> 00:41:56,430 Don't fuck Corey anymore. 1037 00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:57,789 Yeah, fine. Fine. 1038 00:42:09,485 --> 00:42:11,111 Stop staring at me, weirdo. 1039 00:42:12,988 --> 00:42:17,297 And their life... was peaches and roses all the time. 1040 00:42:17,322 --> 00:42:19,537 And when they found out that they were with child... 1041 00:42:19,562 --> 00:42:20,980 Fuck! 1042 00:42:21,005 --> 00:42:23,570 Rainbows appeared as if from nowhere, 1043 00:42:24,416 --> 00:42:26,172 and birds sang... 1044 00:42:26,922 --> 00:42:29,367 and little woodland creatures frolicked. 1045 00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:32,234 - I'm pregnant. - Tami's pregnant. 1046 00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:33,551 She's pregnant. 1047 00:42:33,592 --> 00:42:35,553 - Tami's pregnant. - No shit? 1048 00:42:35,594 --> 00:42:36,887 - Yeah. - Aw, man. 1049 00:42:36,929 --> 00:42:39,598 I got a test, and I saw 1050 00:42:39,623 --> 00:42:42,409 the biggest, bluest plus sign I've ever seen. 1051 00:42:42,434 --> 00:42:44,228 - Is it yours? - You sure it's mine? 1052 00:42:44,253 --> 00:42:46,171 - Yeah. - She says it is. 1053 00:42:46,196 --> 00:42:48,040 I make Boone wear a condom. He's been in the Philippines. 1054 00:42:48,065 --> 00:42:49,567 I double-bag that shit. 1055 00:42:49,608 --> 00:42:51,445 Holy shit. Is she gonna keep it? 1056 00:42:51,470 --> 00:42:53,279 - What are you gonna do? - I don't know. 1057 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:54,738 You having the baby or no? 1058 00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:56,073 The last thing I need in my life 1059 00:42:56,115 --> 00:42:57,259 is a man telling me what to do. 1060 00:42:57,283 --> 00:42:59,437 Hey, Tami. How ya doin'? 1061 00:42:59,868 --> 00:43:02,037 It's none of your fucking business, Brad. 1062 00:43:02,079 --> 00:43:03,890 If you decide to have the baby, I wanna make damn sure 1063 00:43:03,914 --> 00:43:05,600 - it has a father. - I don't wanna have a baby 1064 00:43:05,624 --> 00:43:07,167 just to save my tits! 1065 00:43:07,209 --> 00:43:08,586 Tami's having this baby, 1066 00:43:08,611 --> 00:43:09,838 and I need to know what your plan is. 1067 00:43:09,878 --> 00:43:10,838 Baby? 1068 00:43:10,879 --> 00:43:12,423 He doesn't know shit. 1069 00:43:12,464 --> 00:43:14,192 You've been kicking my ass ever since you got pregnant. 1070 00:43:14,216 --> 00:43:16,111 I've been kicking your ass since the first day we met. 1071 00:43:16,135 --> 00:43:17,571 I can't believe you got Tami pregnant. 1072 00:43:17,595 --> 00:43:19,221 - Why do you keep saying that? - Well... 1073 00:43:19,246 --> 00:43:21,164 Hey, honey! Core. 1074 00:43:21,189 --> 00:43:22,708 I'm terrified of these women. 1075 00:43:22,766 --> 00:43:23,785 - It's her decision. - Goddamn right 1076 00:43:23,809 --> 00:43:25,102 it's her decision. 1077 00:43:25,144 --> 00:43:27,008 - You better now ghost her. - I won't. 1078 00:43:27,033 --> 00:43:29,172 If you hurt her, we will fuck you up. 1079 00:43:29,197 --> 00:43:31,032 - We will fuck you up. - I'm trying to do 1080 00:43:31,057 --> 00:43:32,843 - the right thing. - Don't fuck with us. 1081 00:43:34,250 --> 00:43:36,572 - The goon squad gone? - Yeah. 1082 00:43:36,597 --> 00:43:38,078 I'm gonna have the baby. 1083 00:43:45,831 --> 00:43:46,976 Good. 1084 00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:48,792 What would I even name it? 1085 00:43:48,834 --> 00:43:50,628 We talkin' a boy or a girl? 1086 00:43:50,669 --> 00:43:52,147 I don't know. Like, pretend it's a boy. 1087 00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:54,131 - Hambone. - Wilmoth? 1088 00:43:54,173 --> 00:43:55,501 - Bird? - Who the hell 1089 00:43:55,526 --> 00:43:57,343 names their kid Bird? I take it back. 1090 00:43:57,384 --> 00:43:59,345 I will not be there for our child, all right? 1091 00:43:59,677 --> 00:44:01,989 I'm hungry. Do you wanna get something to eat? 1092 00:44:02,014 --> 00:44:03,390 I am fucking famished. 1093 00:44:03,432 --> 00:44:04,892 I'm starving. I need food. 1094 00:44:04,917 --> 00:44:06,044 You like popcorn shrimp? 1095 00:44:06,069 --> 00:44:07,661 I mean, I work in a hair salon. 1096 00:44:07,686 --> 00:44:09,313 I breathe bleach fumes all day. 1097 00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:10,957 This baby's gonna come out with like five heads 1098 00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:12,334 - and a dorsal fin. - You know that mask 1099 00:44:12,358 --> 00:44:13,942 - is kinda freaky, right? - Yeah. 1100 00:44:13,967 --> 00:44:17,321 Well, it's better than junior being born with flippers and a tail. 1101 00:44:17,743 --> 00:44:19,073 Oh, yeah, baby! 1102 00:44:19,098 --> 00:44:20,767 I'm so very, very wet. 1103 00:44:20,792 --> 00:44:22,343 I slipped out again. I slipped. 1104 00:44:22,368 --> 00:44:24,161 - Hang on, let me get on top. - All right. 1105 00:44:24,203 --> 00:44:26,485 She wants to have sex all the time, all right? 1106 00:44:26,510 --> 00:44:28,672 Three times last night and again this morning. 1107 00:44:28,707 --> 00:44:30,626 Y-w-whoa, whoa... I just felt the baby kick. 1108 00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:32,586 No, focus. 1109 00:44:32,628 --> 00:44:35,022 Baby likes it. Yeah. 1110 00:44:38,008 --> 00:44:39,986 She's so fucking nice to me all the time, you know? 1111 00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:43,222 It's all honey, sweetie. She called me boo this morning. 1112 00:44:43,263 --> 00:44:45,142 I mean, it's alien abduction movie creepy. 1113 00:44:45,167 --> 00:44:47,128 - I don't like it. - It won't last. 1114 00:44:47,153 --> 00:44:49,853 Once the baby's born, with the sleep deprivation, 1115 00:44:49,895 --> 00:44:51,563 and Tami being kind of a bitch... 1116 00:44:51,605 --> 00:44:53,315 Ah... eh... 1117 00:44:53,340 --> 00:44:55,342 - ooh... ooh... - Just breathe. 1118 00:44:55,367 --> 00:44:56,826 Ah... 1119 00:44:56,851 --> 00:44:58,811 You think it's real this time? 1120 00:44:58,836 --> 00:45:01,865 Just shut the fuck up and find a goddamn parking spot! 1121 00:45:01,907 --> 00:45:03,868 She's back! 1122 00:45:13,306 --> 00:45:14,795 Can you walk? Can you walk? 1123 00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:16,046 - Yes. - Yeah? 1124 00:45:16,071 --> 00:45:18,156 - Of course I can walk. - Can you? 1125 00:45:18,181 --> 00:45:20,150 - Aah! - Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1126 00:45:20,175 --> 00:45:22,404 - Should you be squatting? - Ahh. Did you call my sister? 1127 00:45:22,429 --> 00:45:24,055 - No. Cami? No. No, no, no. - Aah. 1128 00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:25,873 - 'Scuse me! - I don't want you in there 1129 00:45:26,071 --> 00:45:29,201 staring down my cooch with a baby head popping out 1130 00:45:29,226 --> 00:45:30,759 while I shit in a hospital bed. 1131 00:45:31,665 --> 00:45:33,230 All right, I'm gonna find you a wheelchair 1132 00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:35,566 so you don't have the baby in the parking lot, all right? 1133 00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:41,530 Aah... mmm... 1134 00:45:43,949 --> 00:45:45,909 - Are you with Ms. Tamietti? - Yeah, yeah. 1135 00:45:45,951 --> 00:45:47,453 Get your ass in here. 1136 00:45:47,494 --> 00:45:49,264 We're performing an emergency C-section. 1137 00:45:49,288 --> 00:45:50,765 We have to get this baby out now. 1138 00:45:50,789 --> 00:45:52,308 No. No, no, I'm not having a caesarian. 1139 00:45:52,332 --> 00:45:54,436 - I'm having my baby naturally. - That's not going to happen, 1140 00:45:54,460 --> 00:45:55,919 Tami. Sign it. 1141 00:45:55,961 --> 00:45:57,843 - I-I'm not really her, uh... - Are you the father? 1142 00:45:57,868 --> 00:45:59,631 - Yeah. Yes. - Then you sign it. 1143 00:45:59,673 --> 00:46:01,341 Think I'd make a shitty dad? 1144 00:46:01,383 --> 00:46:03,677 What? No. You'd make a great dad. 1145 00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:04,954 I thought, since you were 1146 00:46:04,986 --> 00:46:06,962 - a great father that you... - Thank you. 1147 00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:09,433 - I want sushi... - Yeah? 1148 00:46:10,177 --> 00:46:11,329 Disneyland. 1149 00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:22,613 I didn't have much of a role model at home. 1150 00:46:23,989 --> 00:46:25,624 - Frank. - Yeah. 1151 00:46:25,649 --> 00:46:27,201 No shit. 1152 00:46:36,418 --> 00:46:38,086 You just love 'em, man. 1153 00:46:39,671 --> 00:46:42,049 It's hard to fuck 'em up if you just love 'em. 1154 00:46:44,109 --> 00:46:45,611 You think you can do that? 1155 00:46:48,580 --> 00:46:51,166 - Yeah. - Yeah, I think so too. 1156 00:46:54,686 --> 00:46:56,188 Boy or girl? 1157 00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:58,315 Boy. 1158 00:46:58,974 --> 00:47:00,915 Are you sure it's yours? 1159 00:47:02,830 --> 00:47:04,790 Hey, he fell asleep. 1160 00:47:08,205 --> 00:47:09,501 You too. 1161 00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:17,923 When Lip Gallagher 1162 00:47:19,243 --> 00:47:21,782 looked at his sleeping son and girlfriend, 1163 00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:24,024 and he knew that his journey 1164 00:47:24,868 --> 00:47:26,618 had led him to this moment... 1165 00:47:28,618 --> 00:47:29,954 right here 1166 00:47:31,142 --> 00:47:32,641 and right now... 1167 00:47:35,811 --> 00:47:37,259 He wouldn't change a thing. 1168 00:47:40,148 --> 00:47:41,859 Shit. 1169 00:47:41,900 --> 00:47:43,443 - Oh. - Oh, my... 1170 00:47:43,485 --> 00:47:44,862 Seriously, Fred? 1171 00:47:44,903 --> 00:47:47,281 I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick, okay? 1172 00:47:47,322 --> 00:47:48,782 Okay? 1173 00:47:48,824 --> 00:47:50,701 - Everything hurts. Aah! - All right. 1174 00:47:50,742 --> 00:47:52,995 Shit. Seriously, I lost my baby? 1175 00:47:53,036 --> 00:47:54,872 I feel like my boobs are gonna explode. 1176 00:47:54,913 --> 00:47:56,498 Whoa! 1177 00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:58,375 Why do you hate me, huh? 1178 00:47:59,459 --> 00:48:01,128 Here you go, here you go. 1179 00:48:01,153 --> 00:48:02,363 You take your dad's fake tit, 1180 00:48:02,388 --> 00:48:03,939 but you don't want the real deal? 1181 00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:05,716 You have six to eight minutes... tops. 1182 00:48:05,757 --> 00:48:08,260 Mmm. Mm... fuck. 1183 00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:11,221 I'm tired, you know? 1184 00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:12,764 Welcome to parenthood. 1185 00:48:32,117 --> 00:48:33,399 They all lived... 1186 00:48:34,471 --> 00:48:36,689 moderately happy ever after. 1187 00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:12,783 Smoke? 1188 00:49:14,868 --> 00:49:16,662 'Scuse me. I'm gonna go get a smoke. 1189 00:49:26,672 --> 00:49:28,674 Your dedication to nicotine is admirable. 1190 00:49:28,715 --> 00:49:30,384 Let me get a pack a Camels. 1191 00:49:30,425 --> 00:49:32,678 I prefer carcinogens to endorphins. 1192 00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:34,238 Let me get a pack of American Spirits too. 1193 00:49:34,262 --> 00:49:35,406 You smoked my whole fuckin' pack. 1194 00:49:35,430 --> 00:49:37,307 Some Marlboros. Some Winstons. 1195 00:49:37,349 --> 00:49:39,434 Throw some, uh, Dunhills in there. 1196 00:49:40,993 --> 00:49:43,331 - What are you doing? - I need to wash my junk. 1197 00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:47,651 Who's never smoked a cigarette before? 1198 00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:48,986 - Me! - Me! 1199 00:49:49,027 --> 00:49:50,821 Oh, you haven't? Okay, well, the first one's 1200 00:49:50,862 --> 00:49:52,507 the hardest, but you guys are gonna be great. 1201 00:49:52,531 --> 00:49:54,408 Come on, follow your Aunty Tami. 1202 00:50:05,627 --> 00:50:07,355 You know the way you smoke cigarettes, 1203 00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:08,606 it'll be a miracle if you make it to 40. 1204 00:50:08,630 --> 00:50:10,007 - I'll quit. - Right. 1205 00:50:12,926 --> 00:50:14,511 You're only supposed to wear 1206 00:50:14,553 --> 00:50:16,513 one of those nicotine patches at a time. 1207 00:50:16,555 --> 00:50:18,473 Got one of these vape things from Carl. 1208 00:50:18,515 --> 00:50:20,183 Trying to quit smokin' for Fred. 1209 00:50:20,225 --> 00:50:21,977 - Aren't those things worse for you? - Fuck, that shit's strong. 1210 00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:26,189 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com --