1
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Previously on WandaVision...

2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,963
We are an unusual couple, ya know?

3
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:09,382
My wife and her flying saucers.

4
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:12,093
My husband and his indestructible head.

5
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,929
Hello, dear. I'm Agnes,
your neighbor to the right.

6
00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:16,764
You're like a walking computer.

7
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,391
What? I most certainly am not.

8
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:21,311
Dinner with Mr. Hart and
his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart.

9
00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:22,395
What brought you here?

10
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:25,172
- How long have you been married?
- Why did you come here?

11
00:00:25,174 --> 00:00:26,691
Damn it, why?

12
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,693
Stop it. Stop it.

13
00:00:29,961 --> 00:00:31,421
Vision, help him.

14
00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:40,633
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

15
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,654
What was that?

16
00:01:26,331 --> 00:01:27,413
Wanda?

17
00:01:27,415 --> 00:01:28,498
Yes, dear?

18
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:31,167
Are you using your powers
to turn on the light?

19
00:01:31,169 --> 00:01:32,627
Yes, dear.

20
00:01:32,629 --> 00:01:34,379
Allow me, sweetheart.

21
00:01:40,011 --> 00:01:41,011
What do you see?

22
00:01:42,180 --> 00:01:44,514
Only your lovely rose bushes.

23
00:01:44,516 --> 00:01:45,848
That's all?

24
00:01:45,850 --> 00:01:48,226
Are you using your night vision, Vision?

25
00:01:48,228 --> 00:01:50,478
I assure you, my love,
I see nothing amiss.

26
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,730
You have absolutely no reason
to be frightened...

27
00:01:57,487 --> 00:01:58,647
You were saying?

28
00:01:59,447 --> 00:02:01,781
Actually, I did overhear
a couple of lads at work

29
00:02:01,783 --> 00:02:03,833
remarking on a few unsavory characters

30
00:02:03,835 --> 00:02:04,912
settling in the neighborhood.

31
00:02:04,914 --> 00:02:07,957
Now, who knows what those
ne'er-do-wells might be up to?

32
00:02:07,959 --> 00:02:10,089
Robbing houses, vandalizing property.

33
00:02:10,091 --> 00:02:12,894
Walking through walls, moving
objects without touching them.

34
00:02:12,896 --> 00:02:14,469
Wanda, darling, you can't be suggesting

35
00:02:14,471 --> 00:02:16,629
my colleagues were referring to us.

36
00:02:20,385 --> 00:02:23,636
One of us should really determine
the source of that sound.

37
00:02:23,638 --> 00:02:26,472
Yes, one of us should.

38
00:02:27,642 --> 00:02:29,392
Oh, this is getting ridiculous.

39
00:02:30,562 --> 00:02:31,978
I'm going to take a look.

40
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:33,813
Oh, God! Darling!

41
00:02:39,571 --> 00:02:41,195
Well, I think we handled that well.

42
00:02:41,197 --> 00:02:43,406
Yes, I must say I'm
rather proud of myself.

43
00:02:43,408 --> 00:02:47,535
And look how you seized on
the opportunity to redecorate.

44
00:02:47,537 --> 00:02:50,117
- This is better, isn't it?
- Mmm.

45
00:02:52,876 --> 00:02:54,292
Wanda, darling?

46
00:02:54,294 --> 00:02:55,543
Yes, dear?

47
00:02:55,545 --> 00:02:57,175
Get the light.

48
00:03:12,765 --> 00:03:15,165
_

49
00:03:15,565 --> 00:03:16,985
WandaVision!

50
00:03:26,951 --> 00:03:28,081
WandaVision!

51
00:03:39,881 --> 00:03:43,091
? WandaVision, Wa-WandaVision ?

52
00:03:43,093 --> 00:03:45,901
? WandaVision, Wa-WandaVision ?

53
00:03:45,903 --> 00:03:48,863
? WandaVision, Wa-WandaVision ?

54
00:03:49,641 --> 00:03:51,311
WandaVision!

55
00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:57,897
Ladies and gentlemen,
for my final trick,

56
00:03:57,899 --> 00:04:02,189
I bring you the Cabinet of Mysteries.

57
00:04:04,739 --> 00:04:06,078
Darling, that's your cue.

58
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,758
Did you say, "Cabinet of Mysteries?"

59
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:11,786
I said, "The Cabinet of Mysteries".

60
00:04:11,788 --> 00:04:14,080
Oh, that's my cue. Ooh!

61
00:04:14,082 --> 00:04:16,499
Holy Toledo!

62
00:04:16,501 --> 00:04:20,044
Darling, do all the other
acts in the talent show

63
00:04:20,046 --> 00:04:22,256
have such elaborate props?

64
00:04:23,216 --> 00:04:24,549
Are you kidding?

65
00:04:24,551 --> 00:04:26,217
Fred and Linda are building a moat

66
00:04:26,219 --> 00:04:29,137
and a fully-functioning portcullis
and no one even knows why.

67
00:04:29,139 --> 00:04:30,304
Let's keep going.

68
00:04:30,306 --> 00:04:32,348
Yes, yes. Where was I? Um...

69
00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:36,060
Watch closely as I, Illusion,
Master of Enigma,

70
00:04:36,062 --> 00:04:40,148
make my captivating assistant,
Glamour, disappear.

71
00:04:43,653 --> 00:04:45,445
You really are very dashing.

72
00:04:45,447 --> 00:04:47,113
Mmm, thank you, darling.

73
00:04:47,115 --> 00:04:49,198
Fear not, Glamour.

74
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:53,828
For I, Illusion, vow to bring
you back exactly as you are.

75
00:04:55,123 --> 00:04:57,503
Abracadabra!

76
00:04:59,919 --> 00:05:02,299
Ta-ta...

77
00:05:05,602 --> 00:05:09,788
Yes, um, Wanda, you're
not at all worried

78
00:05:09,790 --> 00:05:13,723
that the audience might just
see through this little charade?

79
00:05:13,725 --> 00:05:15,433
Well, that's the whole point.

80
00:05:15,435 --> 00:05:17,775
In a real magic act, everything is fake.

81
00:05:19,230 --> 00:05:21,570
Darling, the talent show fundraiser

82
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,571
is the most important
event of the season

83
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:26,402
and it's our neighborly
duty to participate.

84
00:05:26,404 --> 00:05:28,118
Plus, it's our chance to appear

85
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,989
as normal as possible while doing so.

86
00:05:29,991 --> 00:05:32,371
Well, I don't think that
should be a problem.

87
00:05:33,692 --> 00:05:34,772
This is our home now.

88
00:05:35,997 --> 00:05:38,831
I want us to fit in.

89
00:05:38,833 --> 00:05:41,853
Oh, darling, we do. We shall.

90
00:05:42,712 --> 00:05:45,171
And we're gonna knock their socks off,

91
00:05:45,173 --> 00:05:49,467
especially with you wearing this.

92
00:05:49,469 --> 00:05:51,677
Oh, that's actually the
rest of your costume.

93
00:05:51,679 --> 00:05:52,679
Oh!

94
00:05:54,891 --> 00:05:56,257
Well, I better get going

95
00:05:56,259 --> 00:05:58,168
if I'm gonna make the
planning committee meeting.

96
00:05:58,170 --> 00:06:00,096
That's me off as well, actually.

97
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:02,110
There's a gathering of
the neighborhood watch

98
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,648
at the public library.

99
00:06:03,650 --> 00:06:05,942
And after last night's excitement,

100
00:06:05,944 --> 00:06:09,362
I want to make sure this
town's security is up to snuff.

101
00:06:09,364 --> 00:06:11,094
That's a swell idea.

102
00:06:11,950 --> 00:06:15,160
You tell those tree branches who's boss.

103
00:06:16,538 --> 00:06:17,954
Would you look at us?

104
00:06:17,956 --> 00:06:21,045
Wanda and Vision,
Westview fitter-inners.

105
00:06:23,336 --> 00:06:24,796
I'll see you at curtain call.

106
00:07:34,908 --> 00:07:38,826
Look, it's the star o' the show.

107
00:07:38,828 --> 00:07:39,908
Agnes.

108
00:07:41,289 --> 00:07:42,955
I'm sorry. What did you say?

109
00:07:42,957 --> 00:07:46,125
Oh, I brought my pet rabbit.
For your magic act.

110
00:07:46,127 --> 00:07:50,421
Yes, of course! Thank you, Agnes.

111
00:07:50,423 --> 00:07:53,299
We will take good care of him.

112
00:07:53,301 --> 00:07:56,052
Seņor Scratchy just loves the stage.

113
00:07:56,054 --> 00:08:00,014
He played baby Jesus in last
year's Christmas pageant.

114
00:08:00,016 --> 00:08:01,016
Oh.

115
00:08:03,603 --> 00:08:05,103
Oh, morning, Dennis.

116
00:08:05,105 --> 00:08:06,604
Morning, Agnes.

117
00:08:06,606 --> 00:08:07,786
Stick 'em up.

118
00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:10,983
Don't shoot. I'm just a messenger.

119
00:08:10,985 --> 00:08:12,655
Pew-pew!

120
00:08:14,072 --> 00:08:15,112
Mmm.

121
00:08:17,408 --> 00:08:19,468
- Shall we?
- Oh, we shall.

122
00:08:24,374 --> 00:08:26,004
So, are you ready to meet

123
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,459
Queen Cul de Sac and
her Merry Homemakers?

124
00:08:28,461 --> 00:08:30,753
Agnes, Dottie can't
be as bad as you say.

125
00:08:30,755 --> 00:08:32,860
Hmm, well, you'll notice her roses

126
00:08:32,862 --> 00:08:34,966
bloom under penalty of death.

127
00:08:37,053 --> 00:08:41,389
Wanda, can I give you
a bit of friendly advice?

128
00:08:41,391 --> 00:08:43,245
Is it about the way how I'm dressed?

129
00:08:43,247 --> 00:08:45,207
Yes, but it's too late for that.

130
00:08:46,604 --> 00:08:49,439
Dottie is the key to
everything in this town.

131
00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:52,942
Country club memberships,
parties, school admissions...

132
00:08:52,944 --> 00:08:55,119
Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

133
00:08:55,121 --> 00:08:56,255
You get in with Dottie

134
00:08:56,257 --> 00:08:58,906
and it'll be smooth
sailing from here on out.

135
00:08:58,908 --> 00:09:02,577
Just mind your P's and Q's
and you're gonna do just fine.

136
00:09:02,579 --> 00:09:05,659
Or maybe I could just
be myself? More or less?

137
00:09:10,795 --> 00:09:13,588
Oh, Wanda, that's good.

138
00:09:15,842 --> 00:09:18,392
Everybody, hurry up please.

139
00:09:19,387 --> 00:09:22,177
Hiya, Dottie! Your roses are divine.

140
00:09:23,099 --> 00:09:24,599
Well, thank you.

141
00:09:33,193 --> 00:09:36,652
The Rotary Club is finishing
the stage set-up as we speak.

142
00:09:36,654 --> 00:09:39,030
They've given the gazebo
a fresh coat of paint

143
00:09:39,032 --> 00:09:41,015
and will be installing
the final decorations

144
00:09:41,017 --> 00:09:42,950
all through the town square.

145
00:09:42,952 --> 00:09:44,911
And if you recognize
the antique footlights,

146
00:09:44,913 --> 00:09:46,879
it's because they're from my store.

147
00:09:46,881 --> 00:09:48,381
And the chairs?

148
00:09:51,002 --> 00:09:53,920
I'm sorry, Dottie. I didn't
ask about the chairs.

149
00:09:53,922 --> 00:09:55,499
So you better not ask me

150
00:09:55,501 --> 00:09:58,011
if you can chair any
committees in the future.

151
00:10:01,471 --> 00:10:03,471
The devil's in the details, Bev.

152
00:10:03,473 --> 00:10:05,932
That's not the only place he is.

153
00:10:05,934 --> 00:10:08,142
As you all know, the talent show

154
00:10:08,144 --> 00:10:11,291
is the sole fundraiser
for Westview Elementary.

155
00:10:11,293 --> 00:10:12,318
This might help.

156
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,899
In the eight years since
I founded our little club,

157
00:10:14,901 --> 00:10:18,236
this event has gotten bigger
and better every season.

158
00:10:18,238 --> 00:10:21,114
Say, those pants are peachy keen.

159
00:10:21,116 --> 00:10:22,740
Do you really think so?

160
00:10:22,742 --> 00:10:24,977
The other ladies are in
skirts. I was worried.

161
00:10:24,979 --> 00:10:27,161
We only have a few
hours until show time,

162
00:10:27,163 --> 00:10:30,333
so a little less cross chatter
and a little more focus.

163
00:10:31,084 --> 00:10:32,417
Okay.

164
00:10:32,419 --> 00:10:35,461
Those little boys and
girls are counting on us.

165
00:10:35,463 --> 00:10:38,339
All of this is for the children.

166
00:10:38,341 --> 00:10:39,881
"For the children".

167
00:10:40,802 --> 00:10:42,302
"For the children".

168
00:10:45,682 --> 00:10:49,932
So, I want you all to give
yourselves a big hand...

169
00:10:52,439 --> 00:10:55,440
... at the appropriate time, of course.

170
00:10:55,442 --> 00:10:58,985
But first let's review event etiquette.

171
00:10:58,987 --> 00:11:01,946
Dress code is upscale garden party...

172
00:11:01,948 --> 00:11:05,116
The only reason I didn't clap
is because I'm afraid to move.

173
00:11:05,118 --> 00:11:06,784
Yeah.

174
00:11:06,786 --> 00:11:08,619
I actually don't know
what I'm doing here.

175
00:11:08,621 --> 00:11:11,914
I'm starting to feel that
way myself. I'm Wanda.

176
00:11:11,916 --> 00:11:16,252
- I'm, uh... Geraldine.
- Hi.

177
00:11:16,254 --> 00:11:18,214
And I'm irritated.

178
00:11:20,925 --> 00:11:24,093
Tickets for tonight are
completely sold out.

179
00:11:24,095 --> 00:11:25,935
Now, you can clap.

180
00:11:27,682 --> 00:11:29,182
And stop.

181
00:11:30,351 --> 00:11:33,271
Really, how is anybody doing this sober?

182
00:11:36,023 --> 00:11:39,023
_

183
00:11:43,823 --> 00:11:45,239
- Let's say green.
- Yeah.

184
00:11:45,241 --> 00:11:47,074
I mean, the other side could be dirt.

185
00:11:47,076 --> 00:11:49,786
Pardon me. Is this the
neighborhood watch meeting?

186
00:11:50,872 --> 00:11:53,414
Oh, hiya, Vision.

187
00:11:53,416 --> 00:11:55,456
Didn't expect to see you here.

188
00:11:56,753 --> 00:12:00,755
This is sort of a
"members only" type deal.

189
00:12:00,757 --> 00:12:03,547
Ah! Certainly. Right. Well...

190
00:12:04,302 --> 00:12:06,844
I'll just stay here and be
as quiet as a church mouse

191
00:12:06,846 --> 00:12:09,639
till you open up the
floor for new business.

192
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:12,141
Well, in truth, we were
just getting to new business.

193
00:12:12,143 --> 00:12:13,148
Oh, splendid!

194
00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:15,486
Could you tell me how often
you rotate security patrols?

195
00:12:15,488 --> 00:12:17,688
Do you interface directly
with local law enforcement?

196
00:12:17,690 --> 00:12:20,024
What are your protocols regarding
threats such as burglary,

197
00:12:20,026 --> 00:12:21,442
graffiti, and reckless driving?

198
00:12:21,444 --> 00:12:24,529
- No, Vision.
- I know these are indeed grave matters.

199
00:12:24,531 --> 00:12:28,658
"New business" actually
means another round of Danish.

200
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:31,536
Raspberry or cheese-filled?

201
00:12:31,538 --> 00:12:34,068
Oh, neither for me, thank
you. I don't eat food.

202
00:12:39,862 --> 00:12:41,593
What I mean to say
is that I don't eat food

203
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:44,757
in between meals but at mealtimes.

204
00:12:44,759 --> 00:12:46,499
I'm a regular eating machine.

205
00:12:49,806 --> 00:12:52,306
Hey, fellas. Vision
here has got a point.

206
00:12:52,308 --> 00:12:56,269
Now, listen up. I got some top
secret intelligence for you.

207
00:12:56,271 --> 00:12:57,311
Oh, excellent.

208
00:12:58,064 --> 00:13:00,097
Now, you know how
Johnson's been braggin'

209
00:13:00,099 --> 00:13:01,875
about that treehouse
he built for his kids?

210
00:13:01,877 --> 00:13:03,651
Yeah.

211
00:13:03,653 --> 00:13:05,069
It's a prefab job.

212
00:13:06,281 --> 00:13:08,571
That blockhead can't
even swing a hammer.

213
00:13:09,451 --> 00:13:10,616
I can do you one better.

214
00:13:10,618 --> 00:13:13,238
You know those bowling trophies
Arthur's always polishing?

215
00:13:14,414 --> 00:13:17,331
He bought 'em all at a
yard sale in Hackensack.

216
00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:20,253
I knew it. I've never once
seen him down at the lanes.

217
00:13:22,046 --> 00:13:25,376
I too have some top
secret gossip to share.

218
00:13:28,630 --> 00:13:29,960
Norm here's a Communist.

219
00:13:40,456 --> 00:13:42,148
Vision, you're a real cut-up.

220
00:13:42,150 --> 00:13:44,525
You know, I always thought
you were kind of a square.

221
00:13:44,527 --> 00:13:48,070
Me? No, I'm as round as they come.

222
00:13:48,072 --> 00:13:51,286
Hey, care for a stick o' Big Red?

223
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:53,039
Well, hold on there a second.

224
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:55,004
Didn't you hear the man?
He doesn't eat food.

225
00:13:55,006 --> 00:13:56,631
Is gum food?

226
00:13:56,633 --> 00:13:59,563
Well, my understanding is that
it's purely for mastication.

227
00:14:00,710 --> 00:14:01,880
No, I don't do that.

228
00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:05,800
Well, when in Westview... Cheers.

229
00:14:07,175 --> 00:14:09,099
Who knew you were such a funny guy?

230
00:14:09,101 --> 00:14:11,224
And to think you came here
all hot and bothered

231
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:13,888
about protocols and nonsense.

232
00:14:13,890 --> 00:14:15,950
We actually thought you were serious.

233
00:14:23,358 --> 00:14:27,948
He's funny. All right, so,
back to this barbeque.

234
00:14:34,369 --> 00:14:38,204
That is why you never do a seating
chart on an empty stomach.

235
00:14:38,206 --> 00:14:41,332
Golly, you're a whiz at all
this committee stuff, Dottie.

236
00:14:41,334 --> 00:14:43,906
Thank you for choosing me
to help you clean up today.

237
00:14:43,908 --> 00:14:45,586
I feel so lucky.

238
00:14:45,588 --> 00:14:47,128
You are.

239
00:14:51,735 --> 00:14:53,652
I can't help but wonder if you and I

240
00:14:53,654 --> 00:14:56,180
haven't gotten off on
the wrong foot, Dottie.

241
00:14:56,182 --> 00:14:59,684
And I would like to
correct that if I can.

242
00:14:59,686 --> 00:15:01,396
And how would you do that?

243
00:15:04,983 --> 00:15:06,983
I've heard things about you.

244
00:15:09,404 --> 00:15:11,114
You and your husband.

245
00:15:12,198 --> 00:15:15,158
Well, I don't know
what you've been told,

246
00:15:17,245 --> 00:15:21,585
but I assure you I don't
mean anyone any harm.

247
00:15:23,418 --> 00:15:25,168
I don't believe you.

248
00:15:30,341 --> 00:15:34,221
Wanda. Wanda, can you read me, over?

249
00:15:35,388 --> 00:15:37,630
- Wanda?
- Who is that?

250
00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:38,842
Wanda?

251
00:15:43,229 --> 00:15:44,604
Who are you?

252
00:15:44,606 --> 00:15:47,148
Wanda?

253
00:15:47,150 --> 00:15:49,192
Wanda.

254
00:15:49,194 --> 00:15:51,861
Who is doing this to you, Wanda?

255
00:15:51,863 --> 00:15:55,453
Wanda? Wanda? Wan...

256
00:15:59,788 --> 00:16:01,579
Dottie!

257
00:16:04,667 --> 00:16:06,957
You... Oh!

258
00:16:13,676 --> 00:16:15,136
Pop quiz, Wanda.

259
00:16:16,763 --> 00:16:19,803
How does a housewife get a
bloodstain out of white linen?

260
00:16:21,935 --> 00:16:23,445
By doing it herself.

261
00:16:32,028 --> 00:16:34,618
They say a man is never fully-dressed

262
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:37,281
without two important accessories.

263
00:16:37,283 --> 00:16:38,953
His special lady...

264
00:16:41,454 --> 00:16:43,624
and his Strücker.

265
00:16:49,170 --> 00:16:52,670
Strücker. He'll make time for you.

266
00:17:03,278 --> 00:17:05,779
_

267
00:17:09,689 --> 00:17:12,807
Glad I don't have to follow this guy.

268
00:17:12,809 --> 00:17:14,819
Huh? What?

269
00:17:14,821 --> 00:17:16,946
Oh, but you're gonna be great.

270
00:17:19,033 --> 00:17:20,283
What time is it now?

271
00:17:20,285 --> 00:17:22,577
Mmm, two minutes after
the last time you asked.

272
00:17:23,747 --> 00:17:25,367
I don't know where he could be.

273
00:17:29,669 --> 00:17:32,211
Oh, is that him?

274
00:17:32,213 --> 00:17:35,548
Well, it looks like he's got
a little hitch in his giddy-up.

275
00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:36,840
Whoa!

276
00:17:40,995 --> 00:17:44,640
Wanda, my little cabbage,
you look smashing!

277
00:17:44,642 --> 00:17:46,062
Whoa!

278
00:17:49,606 --> 00:17:50,772
- Vis.
- Hmm.

279
00:17:50,774 --> 00:17:52,190
- Where have you been?
- Oh.

280
00:17:52,192 --> 00:17:54,734
Uh, well, me and the boys were playing

281
00:17:54,736 --> 00:17:57,612
a rather thrilling game
of horses with shoes.

282
00:17:57,614 --> 00:17:58,863
No, that's not it.

283
00:17:58,865 --> 00:18:00,823
Shoe horses! No.

284
00:18:00,825 --> 00:18:02,784
Ah! Horse's shoes.

285
00:18:02,786 --> 00:18:06,996
Listen, something strange
happened with Dottie.

286
00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:09,427
Well, something strange happened

287
00:18:09,429 --> 00:18:11,959
before that, too. It's hard to explain.

288
00:18:11,961 --> 00:18:14,545
I was just playing with his shoes.

289
00:18:14,547 --> 00:18:16,255
What is going on?

290
00:18:16,257 --> 00:18:17,423
You are!

291
00:18:17,425 --> 00:18:18,635
Huh?

292
00:18:19,886 --> 00:18:22,220
I want to thank you all for coming out

293
00:18:22,222 --> 00:18:26,599
to support Westview Elementary,
"For the children".

294
00:18:26,601 --> 00:18:28,394
"For the children".

295
00:18:28,396 --> 00:18:30,186
And for our final act...

296
00:18:30,188 --> 00:18:34,190
I give you, Wanda and Vision.

297
00:18:51,668 --> 00:18:54,085
Hey! Hey! You're up, Cowboy!

298
00:18:54,087 --> 00:18:55,417
What?

299
00:18:56,423 --> 00:18:58,383
Oh! Yeah! I've to go!

300
00:18:59,342 --> 00:19:02,677
Hello, Westview! Good afternoon.

301
00:19:02,679 --> 00:19:04,019
It's so lovely to be...

302
00:19:04,021 --> 00:19:06,639
I'm so sorry. Excuse me.

303
00:19:06,641 --> 00:19:10,334
I am Glamour and this is my
delightful assistant, Illusion.

304
00:19:10,336 --> 00:19:14,226
I am Glamour and he's Illusion.

305
00:19:15,817 --> 00:19:17,400
Yeah, what she said.

306
00:19:17,402 --> 00:19:20,158
Today, we will lie to you

307
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,614
and yet you will believe
our little deceptions

308
00:19:23,616 --> 00:19:25,533
because human beings are easily fooled

309
00:19:25,535 --> 00:19:27,122
due to their limited understanding

310
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:29,662
of the inner workings of the universe.

311
00:19:29,664 --> 00:19:31,122
Flourish!

312
00:19:31,124 --> 00:19:33,249
You just do it, you don't
say it out loud, honey.

313
00:19:34,461 --> 00:19:38,379
And now my wife and I will delight

314
00:19:38,381 --> 00:19:41,011
in your dumbstruck little faces.

315
00:19:42,427 --> 00:19:43,677
Flourish!

316
00:19:58,318 --> 00:20:00,985
Ha! See there? He's using a rope.

317
00:20:00,987 --> 00:20:05,323
Wanda, what's... Oh, no!
Oh! No! Wanda, please!

318
00:20:05,325 --> 00:20:08,159
- Darling, let me down!
- Oh!

319
00:20:08,161 --> 00:20:11,996
I'm feeling pukey!

320
00:20:11,998 --> 00:20:13,328
Ooh!

321
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,586
Uh, what's next?

322
00:20:18,588 --> 00:20:21,938
Oh! Yeah, this is...
This is gonna be great!

323
00:20:22,801 --> 00:20:25,011
A staggering feat of strength.

324
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,050
- Ah?
- Illusion... Uh... Uh...

325
00:20:35,105 --> 00:20:39,857
- Illusion, Master of Enigma, allow me.
- Yeah?

326
00:20:39,859 --> 00:20:42,276
What?

327
00:20:42,278 --> 00:20:44,658
Oh!

328
00:20:46,032 --> 00:20:49,283
Whoops! You weren't supposed
to see how we did that trick.

329
00:20:50,995 --> 00:20:53,830
That was my grandmother's piano.

330
00:20:53,832 --> 00:20:58,334
Oh, Sherbert! Yeah, this
is my old mate, Sherbert.

331
00:20:58,336 --> 00:21:00,627
Stand up, Sherbert.
Say hello to the crowd.

332
00:21:00,629 --> 00:21:02,297
It's Herbert, Herb.

333
00:21:02,299 --> 00:21:06,509
Pipe down, Sherbie, and
pick a card. Any card.

334
00:21:06,511 --> 00:21:09,053
Yeah, put it back in the deck.

335
00:21:09,055 --> 00:21:12,145
I'm not looking. All right. Watch this.

336
00:21:14,769 --> 00:21:15,889
Is this your card?

337
00:21:16,649 --> 00:21:18,399
Uh, no.

338
00:21:19,274 --> 00:21:20,731
I beg to differ.

339
00:21:20,733 --> 00:21:22,012
Mmm-mmm.

340
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:25,199
Really? Is this your card?

341
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,863
- Vision...
- Mmm-mmm.

342
00:21:27,949 --> 00:21:29,871
Is this your card? Is this your card?

343
00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:31,442
Is this your card? Is this your card?

344
00:21:31,444 --> 00:21:34,454
- Is this your card?
- Mmm-mmm.

345
00:21:34,456 --> 00:21:36,497
Argh! Is this your card?
Is this your card?

346
00:21:36,499 --> 00:21:37,591
- No. No. No. No.
- Is this your card?

347
00:21:37,593 --> 00:21:39,130
Is this your card? Is this your card?

348
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,800
Is this your card? Is this your card?

349
00:21:40,802 --> 00:21:42,211
Is this your card?

350
00:21:42,213 --> 00:21:43,504
Oh, it is!

351
00:21:43,506 --> 00:21:44,672
It is what?

352
00:21:44,674 --> 00:21:46,466
It's my card.

353
00:21:46,468 --> 00:21:49,258
Well, pardon me, Herb. Have it back.

354
00:21:50,411 --> 00:21:51,828
Oh, no, you did the trick right.

355
00:21:51,830 --> 00:21:54,457
Well, of course I did the
trick right! I'm Illusion!

356
00:21:54,459 --> 00:21:56,559
Flourish!

357
00:21:59,939 --> 00:22:01,898
And now, for my next trick...

358
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:04,231
Oh, goodness me.

359
00:22:04,233 --> 00:22:05,858
Who stole my hat?

360
00:22:05,860 --> 00:22:08,022
Oh! Oh, stop that rabbit!

361
00:22:08,024 --> 00:22:10,314
I gotta need to pull a hat out of it.

362
00:22:11,534 --> 00:22:14,952
Seņor Scratchy's got real
star quality, don't you think?

363
00:22:14,954 --> 00:22:18,498
Maybe we leave the poor
bunny out this one, shall we?

364
00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:21,210
Well then, I will just
have to pull this hat...

365
00:22:22,504 --> 00:22:24,796
... out of myself.

366
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,007
Vision, no.

367
00:22:28,009 --> 00:22:29,379
I'm doin' it.

368
00:22:31,721 --> 00:22:34,222
Ah-ha!

369
00:22:36,643 --> 00:22:40,273
If only you all knew our secret.

370
00:22:41,231 --> 00:22:43,856
Oh!

371
00:22:43,858 --> 00:22:45,817
Is that how mirrors work?

372
00:22:45,819 --> 00:22:47,069
Shut up, Bev.

373
00:22:48,571 --> 00:22:53,366
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
for our grand finale.

374
00:22:53,368 --> 00:22:57,945
I bring you, The Magnet of Crysteries!

375
00:22:57,947 --> 00:22:59,405
The Cabinet of Mysteries!

376
00:22:59,407 --> 00:23:01,747
Yeah, yeah. What she said.

377
00:23:03,211 --> 00:23:05,341
I will now make my wife...

378
00:23:07,173 --> 00:23:08,383
... disappear.

379
00:23:10,510 --> 00:23:13,224
Are you sure you don't want
an audience volunteer named

380
00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:15,471
"My husband Ralph?"

381
00:23:20,937 --> 00:23:22,897
No. Abracadabra!

382
00:23:25,650 --> 00:23:28,240
- Uh, sweetheart?
- Yeah?

383
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,070
- Hi.
- Oh.

384
00:23:33,616 --> 00:23:35,074
What's in the box?

385
00:23:35,076 --> 00:23:38,745
What's in the box? What's in
the box? What's in the box?

386
00:23:38,747 --> 00:23:40,464
Yeah, what's in the box?

387
00:23:40,466 --> 00:23:42,915
What's in the box? What's in the box?

388
00:23:42,917 --> 00:23:46,037
What's in the box? What's in the box?

389
00:23:52,844 --> 00:23:53,894
Oh!

390
00:23:54,888 --> 00:23:56,179
Oh, yes!

391
00:23:56,181 --> 00:23:57,261
Flourish.

392
00:24:04,606 --> 00:24:06,106
Let's get outta here.

393
00:24:06,941 --> 00:24:08,733
Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

394
00:24:08,735 --> 00:24:10,269
- I'm so stupid.
- Vis? Vis, it's all right.

395
00:24:10,271 --> 00:24:12,361
It's all right. It's all
right. It's all right.

396
00:24:12,363 --> 00:24:13,780
But what is going on with you?

397
00:24:13,782 --> 00:24:17,909
I have no idea. I've been
feeling weirdy all day.

398
00:24:17,911 --> 00:24:20,328
Okay. Okay. Okay.

399
00:24:20,330 --> 00:24:22,750
Oh!

400
00:24:31,883 --> 00:24:34,383
Would you look at that?

401
00:24:34,385 --> 00:24:36,636
That really gummed up
my works, didn't it?

402
00:24:36,638 --> 00:24:38,258
Hmm.

403
00:24:39,933 --> 00:24:42,517
I'm not as funny without it, am I?

404
00:24:42,519 --> 00:24:45,269
Well, you're back to yourself
and that's all I care about.

405
00:24:45,271 --> 00:24:47,337
Now, let's get out of here before Dottie

406
00:24:47,339 --> 00:24:50,799
and the planning committee
string us up for ruining the show.

407
00:24:59,202 --> 00:25:01,832
You two, stop right there.

408
00:25:05,708 --> 00:25:09,085
Nothing like what you
two just did up here

409
00:25:09,087 --> 00:25:12,797
has ever happened in the
history of our talent show.

410
00:25:13,925 --> 00:25:17,468
Dottie, we are so...

411
00:25:17,470 --> 00:25:18,600
Hilarious.

412
00:25:21,599 --> 00:25:25,203
That was the most hilarious
act we've ever seen.

413
00:25:25,205 --> 00:25:27,103
Wouldn't you all agree?

414
00:25:27,105 --> 00:25:28,275
Yeah.

415
00:25:30,442 --> 00:25:32,900
Oh, yes.

416
00:25:32,902 --> 00:25:34,702
You two, come on up. Come on.

417
00:25:37,323 --> 00:25:40,158
On behalf of the planning committee,

418
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,451
I would like to award you

419
00:25:41,453 --> 00:25:45,538
with the inaugural Comedy
Performance of the Year.

420
00:25:45,540 --> 00:25:46,960
Oh, thank you.

421
00:26:02,974 --> 00:26:04,599
- I have to ask.
- Hmm.

422
00:26:04,601 --> 00:26:06,981
One second, I'm backstage
and in the next,

423
00:26:06,983 --> 00:26:09,020
I'm in a dark cubby hole.

424
00:26:09,022 --> 00:26:10,396
How'd you do it?

425
00:26:10,398 --> 00:26:12,523
Oh, a magician never
reveals his secrets.

426
00:26:12,525 --> 00:26:14,317
He leaves that to his assistant.

427
00:26:14,319 --> 00:26:15,899
And she's not talking.

428
00:26:17,155 --> 00:26:20,075
I had a feeling you'd say that.

429
00:26:24,079 --> 00:26:25,244
"For the children!"

430
00:26:25,246 --> 00:26:27,456
"For the children!"

431
00:26:33,671 --> 00:26:35,922
You were tremendous, Glamour.

432
00:26:35,924 --> 00:26:38,554
As were you, Illusion.

433
00:26:41,471 --> 00:26:43,888
I don't know what I
was so worried about.

434
00:26:43,890 --> 00:26:47,391
It wasn't so hard to fit in after all.

435
00:26:47,393 --> 00:26:50,394
And all we had to do was be ourselves.

436
00:26:50,396 --> 00:26:53,397
Well, with a few modifications.

437
00:26:53,399 --> 00:26:56,609
- And it was all for the children.
- For the children.

438
00:26:57,445 --> 00:26:59,915
Well, I think the children
might need some popcorn.

439
00:27:01,282 --> 00:27:02,448
Wanda.

440
00:27:02,450 --> 00:27:03,620
Hmm, what?

441
00:27:08,331 --> 00:27:11,711
Vision... Is this really happening?

442
00:27:14,838 --> 00:27:16,462
Yes, my love.

443
00:27:16,464 --> 00:27:18,256
It's really happening.

444
00:27:20,510 --> 00:27:22,265
If it's that damn tree again,

445
00:27:22,267 --> 00:27:25,640
I am going to rip it out by the roots!

446
00:27:32,981 --> 00:27:34,611
I don't see anything.

447
00:27:46,828 --> 00:27:48,038
What is that?

448
00:27:55,545 --> 00:27:57,135
Wanda.

449
00:28:11,853 --> 00:28:13,103
No.

450
00:28:22,113 --> 00:28:26,923
Vision... Is this really happening?

451
00:28:28,328 --> 00:28:29,788
Yes, my love.

452
00:28:31,289 --> 00:28:32,919
It's really happening.

453
00:28:46,179 --> 00:28:47,179
Vision...

454
00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:20,578
_

455
00:29:20,588 --> 00:29:24,507
Wanda? Who's doing this to you, Wanda?

456
00:29:24,509 --> 00:29:25,649
Wanda?

457
00:29:25,693 --> 00:29:28,187
_

458
00:29:28,224 --> 00:29:32,974
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

