1
00:00:03,308 --> 00:00:07,198
I am committed to expanding
and improving public transit

2
00:00:07,277 --> 00:00:10,146
because it's hardworking
Angelenos like these

3
00:00:10,173 --> 00:00:12,745
that are the lifeblood of our city.

4
00:00:12,770 --> 00:00:15,538
So as... oh! Hey there, pal.

5
00:00:15,637 --> 00:00:18,444
May I ask why you got
on the bus today with no pants?

6
00:00:18,530 --> 00:00:21,865
How else am I supposed to get
to the pants store, idiot?

7
00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:23,334
Well, there you go.

8
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,361
Whether it's a pants store or City Hall,

9
00:00:25,403 --> 00:00:26,937
LA Metro will get you there.

10
00:00:26,971 --> 00:00:27,938
Now, as mayor...

11
00:00:27,972 --> 00:00:29,273
You're not the mayor.

12
00:00:29,307 --> 00:00:30,674
I'm the mayor.

13
00:00:30,709 --> 00:00:32,609
Well, let's just agree
to disagree, shall we?

14
00:00:32,644 --> 00:00:34,044
Mayor fight!

15
00:00:34,079 --> 00:00:35,212
Mayor fight!

16
00:00:35,237 --> 00:00:36,638
Stop, come on. Stop...

17
00:00:45,557 --> 00:00:46,824
Good morning, Mr. Mayor.

18
00:00:46,858 --> 00:00:48,359
I'm not sure who needs to know this,

19
00:00:48,393 --> 00:00:50,761
but FYI, on the 733 bus,

20
00:00:50,795 --> 00:00:52,629
I'm no longer the mayor of this city.

21
00:00:52,664 --> 00:00:54,298
That bus mayor was
stronger than you, sir.

22
00:00:54,332 --> 00:00:55,999
Hey, Jayden,

23
00:00:56,034 --> 00:00:58,902
I found the mayor's little
bus speech real original.

24
00:00:58,937 --> 00:00:59,870
It actually wasn't.

25
00:00:59,904 --> 00:01:01,638
To save time,
I just took his last speech

26
00:01:01,673 --> 00:01:03,640
and changed "algae bloom"
to "bus passengers."

27
00:01:03,675 --> 00:01:06,377
- I was being sarcastic.
- Well, you're great at it.

28
00:01:06,411 --> 00:01:07,510
Yeah, Jayden,

29
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:10,481
Twitter has started to notice
that we're recycling speeches.

30
00:01:10,507 --> 00:01:13,509
Small businesses are
the lifeblood of this city.

31
00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:16,687
Reasonably-priced produce
is the lifeblood of this city.

32
00:01:16,721 --> 00:01:18,889
The passing of Archbishop Sheehan

33
00:01:18,923 --> 00:01:21,225
is the lifeblood... you're killing me.

34
00:01:21,259 --> 00:01:24,128
Yeah, the comms department
may be stretched a little thin.

35
00:01:24,162 --> 00:01:26,096
- Why, thank you.
- I'm on it, sir.

36
00:01:26,131 --> 00:01:27,598
I put up listings for a speechwriter

37
00:01:27,632 --> 00:01:29,433
on LinkedIn, Monster, Craigslist.

38
00:01:29,467 --> 00:01:30,868
I've already gotten some responses

39
00:01:30,902 --> 00:01:32,369
that weren't genital photographs.

40
00:01:32,404 --> 00:01:33,771
Great. So, Jayden,

41
00:01:33,805 --> 00:01:35,739
start going through résumés
and pick someone.

42
00:01:35,774 --> 00:01:36,707
I don't know.

43
00:01:36,741 --> 00:01:38,675
I once hired someone
to assemble a bookshelf,

44
00:01:38,710 --> 00:01:41,678
and yada, yada, yada.
Stole my TV, dated my mom.

45
00:01:41,713 --> 00:01:43,714
Come on, this is a chance
for you to step up

46
00:01:43,748 --> 00:01:45,149
and be a man.

47
00:01:45,183 --> 00:01:48,385
Or a strong, capable woman.

48
00:01:48,420 --> 00:01:50,320
But I'm more of a creative genius

49
00:01:50,355 --> 00:01:51,555
than a manager.

50
00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:53,257
I have faith in you, Jayden.

51
00:01:53,291 --> 00:01:55,426
Just find someone
who makes your life easier

52
00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:56,860
and hire that person.

53
00:01:56,895 --> 00:01:59,363
Or woman.

54
00:01:59,397 --> 00:02:00,864
Moving on, Ms. Meskimen

55
00:02:00,899 --> 00:02:02,566
this morning will be in Brentwood.

56
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,802
I love a town hall.

57
00:02:04,836 --> 00:02:06,170
Democracy at work,

58
00:02:06,204 --> 00:02:08,105
people getting heated over ideas,

59
00:02:08,139 --> 00:02:10,841
and in LA, there's always
some dingbat celebrity there,

60
00:02:10,875 --> 00:02:11,809
running their mouth,

61
00:02:11,843 --> 00:02:13,544
and I get to tell them
they're not special.

62
00:02:13,578 --> 00:02:15,479
I don't even understand
why we need to build

63
00:02:15,513 --> 00:02:17,548
low-income housing here.

64
00:02:17,582 --> 00:02:20,184
I already have a home. I have ten homes.

65
00:02:20,218 --> 00:02:21,318
Life is easy for me.

66
00:02:21,352 --> 00:02:22,719
You're not special!

67
00:02:22,754 --> 00:02:25,422
Yeah, this is gonna be a fun one.

68
00:02:25,457 --> 00:02:27,391
All those rich Brentwood turkeys think

69
00:02:27,425 --> 00:02:29,059
they're too good for trash.

70
00:02:29,093 --> 00:02:31,128
Wait a second. Is this
about the recycling center?

71
00:02:31,162 --> 00:02:32,296
Because I should be there.

72
00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:34,097
It's Brentwood. Those are my people.

73
00:02:34,132 --> 00:02:35,199
Arpi, I'm sorry,

74
00:02:35,233 --> 00:02:36,433
but I need to take the lead on this.

75
00:02:36,468 --> 00:02:40,771
Great. You have my complete
confidence and support, sir.

76
00:02:41,873 --> 00:02:43,207
Not.

77
00:02:43,241 --> 00:02:44,575
Not what?

78
00:02:44,609 --> 00:02:47,744
I said you had
my confidence and support.

79
00:02:47,779 --> 00:02:50,013
That was an hour and a half ago.

80
00:02:50,048 --> 00:02:51,582
I can't trust you around these people.

81
00:02:51,616 --> 00:02:53,183
You're one of them.
You're gonna get up there

82
00:02:53,218 --> 00:02:54,218
in front of those one percenters

83
00:02:54,252 --> 00:02:55,552
and fold like a card table.

84
00:02:55,587 --> 00:02:57,754
How you do you fold a card table, Arpi?

85
00:02:57,789 --> 00:03:00,090
They're made of solid wood
with cup holders

86
00:03:00,124 --> 00:03:01,558
so you don't pucker the felt.

87
00:03:01,593 --> 00:03:03,660
You're proving my point.
Card tables are plastic!

88
00:03:03,695 --> 00:03:05,496
You put them in the yard
to serve Crystal Light on

89
00:03:05,530 --> 00:03:06,763
after someone gets shot

90
00:03:06,798 --> 00:03:09,199
and you're all just
milling around in shock.

91
00:03:09,234 --> 00:03:11,235
Ah, come if you want,

92
00:03:11,269 --> 00:03:13,237
but you have nothing to worry about.

93
00:03:13,271 --> 00:03:14,738
I'm coming, and we're playing

94
00:03:14,772 --> 00:03:16,907
my pre-town hall psych-up music.

95
00:03:16,941 --> 00:03:20,043
Officer, plug this
into the RCA jack, please.

96
00:03:20,078 --> 00:03:20,978
Get ready to get pumped.

97
00:03:21,012 --> 00:03:24,948
? California would not hold me ?

98
00:03:24,983 --> 00:03:28,752
? Though I loved her timber mountains ?

99
00:03:28,786 --> 00:03:30,454
Hey. Mikaela, right?

100
00:03:30,488 --> 00:03:33,123
Orly. Hi, and hello.

101
00:03:33,157 --> 00:03:34,691
Is my dad around?

102
00:03:34,726 --> 00:03:36,827
A pipe burst at school,
so they let us go early.

103
00:03:36,861 --> 00:03:39,530
Oh, no. Shoot. His schedule changed.

104
00:03:39,564 --> 00:03:41,431
But you can hang out here, little homey.

105
00:03:41,466 --> 00:03:44,401
Homeys gotta homework. Homework. Boo.

106
00:03:44,435 --> 00:03:46,937
I can't believe her. Whatever.

107
00:03:46,971 --> 00:03:49,773
What's wrong? Leaked nudes? Frenemy?

108
00:03:49,807 --> 00:03:51,808
Just a stupid orchestra concert today.

109
00:03:51,843 --> 00:03:54,444
Today? What about the pipe?

110
00:03:54,479 --> 00:03:56,813
Wait, are you in the orchestra?

111
00:03:56,848 --> 00:04:00,150
I was orchestra manager,
so more on the biz side.

112
00:04:00,184 --> 00:04:04,021
I play flute, but it's not
like anyone's gonna miss me.

113
00:04:04,055 --> 00:04:06,890
So you lied about the pipe

114
00:04:06,925 --> 00:04:09,192
because you're nervous
about the concert.

115
00:04:09,227 --> 00:04:11,495
Oh, my God, no. "Nervous"?

116
00:04:11,529 --> 00:04:13,931
I murder the flute like Lizzo.

117
00:04:13,965 --> 00:04:16,300
I practiced all summer
to make first chair,

118
00:04:16,334 --> 00:04:18,235
and I did make first chair,

119
00:04:18,269 --> 00:04:20,938
but then Mr. Kenny gave
the solo in "Peer Gynt"

120
00:04:20,972 --> 00:04:24,007
to Abby Shapiro because he's a fascist,

121
00:04:24,042 --> 00:04:27,477
and it's like, what's even
the point of the chair system?

122
00:04:27,512 --> 00:04:30,714
It's so unfair, and I hate high school!

123
00:04:34,185 --> 00:04:35,852
Hey, FYI, the mayor's daughter's here,

124
00:04:35,887 --> 00:04:37,321
so this is how I'm going to play it.

125
00:04:37,355 --> 00:04:38,422
I'll do everything wrong

126
00:04:38,456 --> 00:04:40,324
so that she runs out of here furious.

127
00:04:40,358 --> 00:04:42,092
Wait, you beat me to it?

128
00:04:42,126 --> 00:04:45,195
Guess Mikaela wins again.

129
00:04:48,203 --> 00:04:49,482
Yeah.

130
00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,312
Listen. Listen.

131
00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:58,363
I know interviews can be nerve-racking.

132
00:04:58,780 --> 00:05:01,115
If you want, you can picture me
in my underwear.

133
00:05:01,150 --> 00:05:03,707
I brought a pair if it helps.

134
00:05:03,819 --> 00:05:05,153
So this would be
a bit of a change for you.

135
00:05:05,187 --> 00:05:07,488
You spent your whole career
in Puerto Rico.

136
00:05:07,523 --> 00:05:10,458
- Um, that's PR.
- For short.

137
00:05:10,492 --> 00:05:12,660
I went there once.
I got bit by a beach puppy.

138
00:05:12,694 --> 00:05:15,229
Yeah, I meant public relations.

139
00:05:15,264 --> 00:05:17,231
- Be careful.
- Oh, the chair?

140
00:05:17,266 --> 00:05:19,500
Don't worry. Not my first chair rodeo.

141
00:05:19,535 --> 00:05:21,869
Catch me!

142
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,504
America so cool.

143
00:05:23,539 --> 00:05:27,041
USA number one party.
Diet starts Monday.

144
00:05:27,075 --> 00:05:28,476
Great, well, we'll be in touch, Sforg.

145
00:05:28,510 --> 00:05:31,045
Supers dupers, Jaydens. I love you.

146
00:05:31,079 --> 00:05:34,081
I cannot wait for you to meet my house.

147
00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:37,251
It is lonely at the top, Tommy.

148
00:05:37,286 --> 00:05:39,420
Hmm... interest level exceeded.

149
00:05:39,454 --> 00:05:40,788
Well, the mayor told me to hire someone

150
00:05:40,822 --> 00:05:42,089
that would make my life easier,

151
00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,258
but so far,
the best of the bunch is Sforg,

152
00:05:44,293 --> 00:05:46,260
and he's only here
because he's on paid vacation

153
00:05:46,295 --> 00:05:47,528
from a Swedish prison.

154
00:05:47,563 --> 00:05:49,764
For knife murders!

155
00:05:49,798 --> 00:05:51,532
- Europe is different.
- Yeah.

156
00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:54,402
Excuse me, Mr. Kwapis? I'm Derek Joshua.

157
00:05:54,436 --> 00:05:55,736
I applied for the speechwriter job.

158
00:05:55,771 --> 00:05:57,972
- Your tie is so funny.
- I know, right?

159
00:05:58,006 --> 00:06:00,708
It's like, "Uh, we're gonna
need a bigger shirt."

160
00:06:00,742 --> 00:06:02,910
I love movie quotes.

161
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,279
"Yes, you called for the Ghostbusters."

162
00:06:05,314 --> 00:06:06,747
Oh, man! Okay.

163
00:06:06,782 --> 00:06:08,583
On three, say
your favorite "Ghostbusters."

164
00:06:08,617 --> 00:06:09,784
One, two, three.

165
00:06:09,818 --> 00:06:12,553
First boy "Ghostbusters."

166
00:06:12,588 --> 00:06:14,455
Why am I still standing here?

167
00:06:14,489 --> 00:06:17,692
Okay, I'd like to begin by pointing out

168
00:06:17,726 --> 00:06:19,727
that none of you deserve what you have.

169
00:06:19,761 --> 00:06:23,531
In fact, material wealth is,
if anything,

170
00:06:23,565 --> 00:06:25,066
inversely correlated

171
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,068
with a person's worth as a human being.

172
00:06:27,102 --> 00:06:28,903
Now, here's someone you probably know

173
00:06:28,937 --> 00:06:32,073
from your Botox parties,
Mayor Neil Bremer.

174
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:39,146
All right,
as a longtime Bel Air resident,

175
00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:41,515
I wanna make one thing clear:

176
00:06:41,550 --> 00:06:44,485
Westside, best side.

177
00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:49,690
That said, I fully support this project.

178
00:06:49,725 --> 00:06:52,093
Our city has a trash problem,

179
00:06:52,127 --> 00:06:55,162
and we can no longer rely
on my predecessor's plan

180
00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,797
to dump it all in the woods

181
00:06:56,832 --> 00:06:59,467
and wait till the fires take care of it.

182
00:06:59,501 --> 00:07:01,836
I know you have concerns,

183
00:07:01,870 --> 00:07:04,105
and I'm here to listen, so...

184
00:07:04,139 --> 00:07:06,874
Do you have any idea
how much rose quartz it'll take

185
00:07:06,908 --> 00:07:08,342
to counter the negative energy

186
00:07:08,377 --> 00:07:10,244
created by this sorting facility?

187
00:07:10,279 --> 00:07:13,814
- Um, 12.
- Touché.

188
00:07:13,849 --> 00:07:16,617
I see you've used
my being an idiot against me.

189
00:07:16,652 --> 00:07:18,185
Well played.

190
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,353
Hi. David.

191
00:07:19,388 --> 00:07:23,090
Listen, we cannot have
a trash facility in Brentwood.

192
00:07:23,125 --> 00:07:25,593
I mean, come on, I moved here
to give my bees a better life.

193
00:07:25,627 --> 00:07:27,128
And I'm sure they appreciate that.

194
00:07:27,162 --> 00:07:29,964
Listen, if this affects
the flavor profile of my honey,

195
00:07:29,998 --> 00:07:31,699
you're gonna have to explain it
to Chrissy Teigen,

196
00:07:31,733 --> 00:07:34,902
because she has been...

197
00:07:34,936 --> 00:07:36,737
she's been my champion through all this.

198
00:07:36,772 --> 00:07:39,173
- Who the hell is this guy?
- David Spade, "SNL."

199
00:07:39,207 --> 00:07:41,542
- Never heard of him.
- "Joe Dirt"? No?

200
00:07:41,576 --> 00:07:43,237
It says under "special skills" that...

201
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,073
_

202
00:07:47,198 --> 00:07:49,104
_

203
00:07:52,354 --> 00:07:53,988
- I would never.
- Good, 'cause...

204
00:07:55,857 --> 00:07:58,726
Look, obviously, I don't have
any experience in politics.

205
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,161
You've done a lot of writing.

206
00:08:00,195 --> 00:08:02,052
Have any of your screenplays
ever been produced?

207
00:08:02,077 --> 00:08:03,030
Not yet.

208
00:08:03,074 --> 00:08:04,609
Hollywood's all about who you know,

209
00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:05,768
and my uncle won't introduce me

210
00:08:05,793 --> 00:08:07,359
to anyone at the studio he runs.

211
00:08:08,258 --> 00:08:09,546
_

212
00:08:09,571 --> 00:08:11,038
- Right?
- Yeah.

213
00:08:12,441 --> 00:08:15,309
There you are. Are you okay?

214
00:08:15,344 --> 00:08:17,278
Look, I get it.

215
00:08:17,312 --> 00:08:19,814
I was your age
just, like, ten years ago.

216
00:08:19,848 --> 00:08:21,816
That's such a long time.

217
00:08:21,850 --> 00:08:24,752
It's actually... it is.

218
00:08:24,786 --> 00:08:27,021
High school was
really rough for me, too.

219
00:08:27,055 --> 00:08:30,291
I had a widow's peak
that connected to my unibrow.

220
00:08:30,325 --> 00:08:33,694
I gave the nurse the other half
of my "Best Friends" necklace.

221
00:08:33,729 --> 00:08:34,895
Then I found it in the trash later.

222
00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:36,564
- Please stop.
- Yeah.

223
00:08:36,598 --> 00:08:38,199
- I get it.
- Mm-hmm.

224
00:08:38,233 --> 00:08:39,200
But look at me now.

225
00:08:39,234 --> 00:08:44,071
Two eyebrows, a whole forehead,
kickass job,

226
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:47,775
and Nurse Kelly has
a pretty big opioid problem.

227
00:08:47,809 --> 00:08:50,244
High school's so stupid.

228
00:08:50,278 --> 00:08:52,346
Being first chair doesn't mean anything.

229
00:08:52,381 --> 00:08:54,448
Being class president
doesn't even mean anything.

230
00:08:54,483 --> 00:08:58,452
My only power is choosing
the themes for school dances,

231
00:08:58,487 --> 00:09:00,187
and the faculty adviser overruled

232
00:09:00,222 --> 00:09:02,022
"Consent Under the Sea."

233
00:09:02,057 --> 00:09:03,691
Just wait.

234
00:09:03,725 --> 00:09:06,723
Grown-up life isn't high school.
I promise.

235
00:09:08,497 --> 00:09:10,631
Thanks, Mikaela.

236
00:09:10,665 --> 00:09:12,466
Your eyebrows look really separate.

237
00:09:12,501 --> 00:09:14,402
Oh, my God. Thank you.

238
00:09:14,436 --> 00:09:16,003
Now, let's go get on Instagram,

239
00:09:16,037 --> 00:09:17,605
and I'll show you
what all that sun damage

240
00:09:17,639 --> 00:09:19,907
and drinking does to the cool kids.

241
00:09:19,941 --> 00:09:21,675
They look so bad.

242
00:09:21,710 --> 00:09:23,477
Easy.

243
00:09:23,512 --> 00:09:24,879
- Marry Ms. Butterworth.
- Yep.

244
00:09:24,913 --> 00:09:26,614
- Eff the Land O' Lakes chick,
- Damn right.

245
00:09:26,648 --> 00:09:28,282
- Kill the Utz girl.
- Correct.

246
00:09:28,316 --> 00:09:29,483
Hey, speaking of food,

247
00:09:29,518 --> 00:09:30,584
I don't have any more interviews

248
00:09:30,619 --> 00:09:32,052
until this afternoon.

249
00:09:32,087 --> 00:09:33,821
Do you wanna maybe grab some lunch?

250
00:09:33,855 --> 00:09:36,424
I know it's only 11:00,
but I really like it when...

251
00:09:36,458 --> 00:09:38,492
You're the first order
on the griddle after breakfast?

252
00:09:38,527 --> 00:09:39,894
Yeah, 'cause then your...

253
00:09:39,928 --> 00:09:43,097
Lunch tastes like pancakes.

254
00:09:43,131 --> 00:09:45,232
My child is not vaccinated,

255
00:09:45,267 --> 00:09:47,768
and for some reason,
she is very sick all the time,

256
00:09:47,803 --> 00:09:50,471
and now you wanna
surround her with trash?

257
00:09:50,505 --> 00:09:52,840
What she needs is more horses.

258
00:09:52,874 --> 00:09:54,642
Okay, get outta here. Next person.

259
00:09:54,676 --> 00:09:56,210
Hi, I'm Andie,

260
00:09:56,244 --> 00:09:59,914
president of the Brentwood
Homeowners Association,

261
00:09:59,948 --> 00:10:01,849
and my hair just dries like this.

262
00:10:10,292 --> 00:10:12,293
You're Andie MacDowell

263
00:10:12,327 --> 00:10:14,829
from "Multiplicity" and "Groundhog Day"

264
00:10:14,863 --> 00:10:18,032
and that Calvin Klein
commercial back in the '80s.

265
00:10:18,066 --> 00:10:19,834
You were wearing jeans.

266
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:25,845
Sproing.

267
00:10:33,434 --> 00:10:36,036
Why do you look like
Pikachu week on "Drag Race"?

268
00:10:36,131 --> 00:10:38,574
Because my speechwriter search is over.

269
00:10:38,599 --> 00:10:40,233
Derek and I just had the funnest time

270
00:10:40,258 --> 00:10:41,592
at Universal Studios.

271
00:10:41,617 --> 00:10:43,654
We both have the same favorite Minion...

272
00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:45,213
Stu, duh...

273
00:10:45,238 --> 00:10:48,784
we both love pizza and music,
and he's an awesome writer.

274
00:10:48,809 --> 00:10:50,217
His new screenplay is about,

275
00:10:50,242 --> 00:10:52,737
what if Marty McFly had married his mom?

276
00:10:54,096 --> 00:10:55,899
So this Derek would be

277
00:10:55,924 --> 00:10:58,600
someone you'd talk to instead of me?

278
00:10:58,634 --> 00:11:00,496
Yeah.

279
00:11:00,543 --> 00:11:02,731
- Go to him.
- Sorry.

280
00:11:02,756 --> 00:11:03,823
Excuse me.

281
00:11:03,848 --> 00:11:05,649
- Are you Jayden Kwapis?
- Yeah.

282
00:11:05,674 --> 00:11:07,008
I've been waiting for two hours

283
00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:09,410
to meet with you about
the speechwriter position.

284
00:11:09,445 --> 00:11:11,713
I'm so sorry. Right this way.

285
00:11:11,747 --> 00:11:14,716
This won't take long.

286
00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:16,918
Master's in public policy?

287
00:11:16,952 --> 00:11:19,654
Deputy speechwriter for Governor Brown?

288
00:11:19,688 --> 00:11:22,257
Chief speechwriter for Maxine Waters?

289
00:11:22,291 --> 00:11:25,393
And also a felon?

290
00:11:25,427 --> 00:11:27,228
Banana!

291
00:11:27,263 --> 00:11:30,965
I know Los Angeles needs
a new recycling facility.

292
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:35,303
I mean, this town certainly has
its share of plastic.

293
00:11:35,337 --> 00:11:36,638
Surgery, that is.

294
00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:39,607
Oh, that's wonderful.

295
00:11:39,642 --> 00:11:41,309
I mean, I knew you could be funny

296
00:11:41,343 --> 00:11:42,777
on film, Ms. MacDowell, but...

297
00:11:42,812 --> 00:11:44,479
Oh, call me Andie.

298
00:11:44,513 --> 00:11:46,347
And you can call me Hoops.

299
00:11:46,382 --> 00:11:48,016
I played basketball, you know.

300
00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:51,686
Obviously, I...

301
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,588
Oppose your plan.

302
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,794
Oh, what was I saying?

303
00:11:59,829 --> 00:12:01,930
Doesn't matter.

304
00:12:01,964 --> 00:12:03,331
No, no, no, no, no. Take your time.

305
00:12:03,365 --> 00:12:04,999
I love watching you think.

306
00:12:05,034 --> 00:12:09,337
I was saying, call me crazy,
but I don't like garbage.

307
00:12:09,371 --> 00:12:11,005
Who does?

308
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,875
Oscar the Grouch, sure,
but he's a puppet being silly.

309
00:12:13,909 --> 00:12:16,644
What is he doing out there?
Get in the game, Hoops!

310
00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:18,847
Listen, Andie,
we're having this dialogue

311
00:12:18,881 --> 00:12:20,982
because nothing's set in stone.

312
00:12:21,016 --> 00:12:22,717
Son of a bitch is folding.

313
00:12:22,751 --> 00:12:24,719
If you would like
to discuss this further,

314
00:12:24,753 --> 00:12:28,456
you know, like, over dinner...

315
00:12:28,490 --> 00:12:29,924
Do you like food?

316
00:12:29,959 --> 00:12:32,026
Excuse us. Five-minute recess.

317
00:12:32,061 --> 00:12:33,261
Talk amongst yourselves

318
00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:37,131
about your empty, materialistic lives.

319
00:12:37,166 --> 00:12:38,066
I knew it.

320
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,300
I knew you wouldn't be able

321
00:12:39,335 --> 00:12:41,002
to stand up to your fellow plutocrats.

322
00:12:41,036 --> 00:12:42,637
- No.
- You disgust me.

323
00:12:42,671 --> 00:12:45,039
It's not that. No, it's her.

324
00:12:45,074 --> 00:12:48,243
Who? Tall-y McBeautiful?

325
00:12:48,277 --> 00:12:50,478
- Boring.
- You don't understand.

326
00:12:50,512 --> 00:12:52,213
I've been in love before.

327
00:12:52,248 --> 00:12:55,350
I've been married twice, but...

328
00:12:55,384 --> 00:12:58,019
Andie MacDowell...

329
00:12:58,053 --> 00:13:01,656
Have you seen "Greystoke:
The Legend of Tarzan"?

330
00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:04,792
She's in this nightgown,
combing her hair,

331
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,060
and then Tarzan comes in,

332
00:13:06,095 --> 00:13:09,497
and then he starts combing her hair.

333
00:13:09,531 --> 00:13:11,099
Oh, come on.

334
00:13:11,133 --> 00:13:12,700
Don't you have anyone in your life

335
00:13:12,735 --> 00:13:15,503
who just pushes all your buttons?

336
00:13:15,537 --> 00:13:17,105
Harvey Milk.

337
00:13:17,139 --> 00:13:18,740
I know, I know. He's dead.

338
00:13:18,774 --> 00:13:21,776
I rented "St. Elmo's Fire"
so many times,

339
00:13:21,810 --> 00:13:23,811
when Blockbuster went out of business,

340
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:25,780
they just gave me the tape.

341
00:13:25,814 --> 00:13:28,383
Arpi, I wanna do the right thing here.

342
00:13:28,417 --> 00:13:30,818
I wanna be a good mayor,

343
00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:33,154
but I'm going to go out
to dinner with her,

344
00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:35,023
and I will fold.

345
00:13:35,057 --> 00:13:36,724
Probably gonna buy her a Mercedes.

346
00:13:36,759 --> 00:13:38,559
What the hell do you want me to do?

347
00:13:38,594 --> 00:13:40,094
If she's really your Harvey Milk,

348
00:13:40,129 --> 00:13:41,562
this train's off the tracks.

349
00:13:41,597 --> 00:13:43,865
I don't know.

350
00:13:43,899 --> 00:13:45,833
Just do something.

351
00:13:47,836 --> 00:13:49,037
Hi, there, stranger.

352
00:13:49,071 --> 00:13:52,473
Hey. Where were we?

353
00:13:52,508 --> 00:13:54,309
This is Sophia Ladaro.

354
00:13:54,343 --> 00:13:56,010
She used to call me "Teen Wolf."

355
00:13:56,045 --> 00:13:58,446
Now look how sad and ugly she is.

356
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,382
Oh, it says she's at her mom's funeral.

357
00:14:01,417 --> 00:14:04,185
Yeah, so that's her dressed up.

358
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:08,189
Well, I have a zit,
and it's picture day.

359
00:14:08,230 --> 00:14:11,166
For our photo IDs? My life is over.

360
00:14:12,928 --> 00:14:14,595
How is this any different
than high school?

361
00:14:14,630 --> 00:14:15,666
What?

362
00:14:15,691 --> 00:14:17,932
You've spent hours making fun of people,

363
00:14:17,967 --> 00:14:20,101
this guy's freaking out over a pimple,

364
00:14:20,135 --> 00:14:21,903
and I'm pretty sure
you're only talking to me

365
00:14:21,937 --> 00:14:23,171
because of who my dad is.

366
00:14:23,205 --> 00:14:25,206
What? No. Orly, we're buddies.

367
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,041
I requested to follow you on Instagram.

368
00:14:27,076 --> 00:14:28,476
Did you see it, or...

369
00:14:28,510 --> 00:14:29,510
And those ladies.

370
00:14:29,545 --> 00:14:32,380
They've spent all day
reading people to filth.

371
00:14:32,685 --> 00:14:35,833
_

372
00:14:36,285 --> 00:14:37,752
Yeah, don't mess with them.

373
00:14:37,786 --> 00:14:39,754
We call them "Las Plasticas."

374
00:14:39,788 --> 00:14:41,255
You were wrong, Mikaela.

375
00:14:41,290 --> 00:14:44,292
Real life is high school. It never ends!

376
00:14:44,326 --> 00:14:47,428
- No, Orly, that's not true.
- Guys, I'm freaking out.

377
00:14:47,463 --> 00:14:49,497
I know Valerie is perfect
or whatever, but I'm worried

378
00:14:49,531 --> 00:14:51,099
that Derek won't
wanna be my friend anymore

379
00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:52,600
if I don't pick him, and he's so cool,

380
00:14:52,634 --> 00:14:54,769
and he drives stick, and also
my mom packed me raisins

381
00:14:54,803 --> 00:14:56,771
if anyone wants to trade.

382
00:14:56,805 --> 00:14:59,007
Oh, my God. It never ends.

383
00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:00,575
High school never ends.

384
00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:02,076
What? No!

385
00:15:02,111 --> 00:15:03,878
I don't wanna have to run
the mile again.

386
00:15:03,912 --> 00:15:05,880
Everybody get out of my room!

387
00:15:08,317 --> 00:15:10,618
Mercedes has this paint finish

388
00:15:10,652 --> 00:15:12,387
they call "Denim Blue."

389
00:15:12,421 --> 00:15:13,955
I think it would look great on you.

390
00:15:13,989 --> 00:15:16,124
Excuse me, Mr. Mayor?

391
00:15:16,158 --> 00:15:17,458
I'd like to ask some questions.

392
00:15:17,493 --> 00:15:19,660
No, shut up. You're not from Brentwood.

393
00:15:19,695 --> 00:15:21,029
No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

394
00:15:21,063 --> 00:15:22,296
Please help me.

395
00:15:22,331 --> 00:15:25,166
You're right. I'm not from Brentwood.

396
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:29,003
Eastside, beast side.

397
00:15:29,038 --> 00:15:30,972
As a resident of Greater Los Angeles,

398
00:15:31,006 --> 00:15:32,440
I'd just like to know where

399
00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:35,109
the president of the Brentwood
Homeowners Association

400
00:15:35,144 --> 00:15:36,477
thinks this trash should go.

401
00:15:36,512 --> 00:15:39,447
Oh. Well, anywhere else, really.

402
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,682
Because Brentwood is so special.

403
00:15:41,717 --> 00:15:43,351
Thank you. Yes.

404
00:15:43,385 --> 00:15:46,921
And the people that live here
like clean, open spaces.

405
00:15:46,955 --> 00:15:48,356
And other neighborhoods don't.

406
00:15:48,390 --> 00:15:49,824
Apparently not.

407
00:15:49,858 --> 00:15:51,392
I mean, just look at those places.

408
00:15:51,427 --> 00:15:54,662
Everywhere you turn,
there is a graffito.

409
00:15:54,696 --> 00:15:56,030
I mean, come on.

410
00:15:56,065 --> 00:15:58,433
The taxes that we pay.

411
00:15:58,467 --> 00:16:01,679
- We don't deserve this.
- Oh, God.

412
00:16:01,704 --> 00:16:04,906
But someone like me deserves your trash?

413
00:16:04,940 --> 00:16:07,475
That is an amazing solution.

414
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:10,945
I think that you would love my trash.

415
00:16:10,979 --> 00:16:12,013
What? No. No, no, no.

416
00:16:12,047 --> 00:16:16,017
You know, my trash has
perfectly good food in it.

417
00:16:16,051 --> 00:16:17,952
Clothes with the tags still on it.

418
00:16:17,986 --> 00:16:20,455
And I throw out
all the skincare products

419
00:16:20,489 --> 00:16:23,524
that companies send me
because I don't need 'em.

420
00:16:23,559 --> 00:16:26,427
This is wonderful.
What else do you throw out?

421
00:16:26,462 --> 00:16:29,430
Honestly, anything
that doesn't spark joy.

422
00:16:29,465 --> 00:16:34,068
Oh, you know, normally,
I give my old bags to my maid,

423
00:16:34,103 --> 00:16:36,270
but if you like it...

424
00:16:36,305 --> 00:16:37,972
It does have a monogram, though.

425
00:16:38,006 --> 00:16:40,308
I love it! And, hey, what do you know?

426
00:16:40,342 --> 00:16:42,510
AM. Those are my initials.

427
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:45,046
Oh, I can't wait to tell my psychic!

428
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,181
Well, it's settled.

429
00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:49,684
Our trash goes there.

430
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:52,320
No!

431
00:16:52,354 --> 00:16:55,389
No! You people are awful!

432
00:16:55,424 --> 00:16:58,559
We're building the facility,
Andie, in Brentwood,

433
00:16:58,594 --> 00:17:01,295
and I'm not buying you a Mercedes.

434
00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:04,765
You're nothing like your
character from "Groundhog Day."

435
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,101
I can't believe that I fantasized

436
00:17:07,136 --> 00:17:09,770
about settling down
in Punxsutawney with you.

437
00:17:09,805 --> 00:17:13,541
Well, I can't believe I was
gonna let you comb my hair.

438
00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:16,577
Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.

439
00:17:16,612 --> 00:17:18,852
I need the bag back.
I've got a dog in there.

440
00:17:18,877 --> 00:17:21,178
Thanks. Whew!

441
00:17:28,758 --> 00:17:30,491
There you are.

442
00:17:30,526 --> 00:17:33,074
Holy crap. Did you eat all that candy?

443
00:17:33,105 --> 00:17:35,639
This is what I used to do
in high school.

444
00:17:35,692 --> 00:17:36,825
Do you wanna ditch and go memorize

445
00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:38,127
the dance from "Toxic"?

446
00:17:38,161 --> 00:17:39,361
I don't know what that is.

447
00:17:41,330 --> 00:17:43,565
Actually, I'm gonna take off.

448
00:17:43,599 --> 00:17:45,767
My dad said to call a car
and meet him at home, so...

449
00:17:45,801 --> 00:17:48,470
Ugh, dads. Am I right?

450
00:17:48,504 --> 00:17:51,639
As if our days could get any worse.

451
00:17:51,674 --> 00:17:53,942
- You mean the orchestra thing?
- Mm-hmm.

452
00:17:53,976 --> 00:17:56,144
Turns out, Abby totally blew the solo

453
00:17:56,178 --> 00:17:57,412
in front of the whole school,

454
00:17:57,446 --> 00:17:59,147
and Ceviche Twitched the whole thing,

455
00:17:59,181 --> 00:18:00,148
and everyone was like,

456
00:18:00,182 --> 00:18:02,150
"Orly should have had it anyway."

457
00:18:02,184 --> 00:18:05,487
And then Josh Booker,
who's a senior at Westlake...

458
00:18:05,521 --> 00:18:07,155
- No.
- Found out I went home early,

459
00:18:07,189 --> 00:18:10,458
and he DM'd me and asked
if I was feeling okay.

460
00:18:10,493 --> 00:18:11,659
Cool.

461
00:18:11,694 --> 00:18:13,661
High school's so awesome.

462
00:18:13,696 --> 00:18:16,898
I love that life is just
high school forever.

463
00:18:16,932 --> 00:18:18,867
? Josh Booker ?

464
00:18:18,901 --> 00:18:22,170
- Okay, bye!
- Yeah, I'm gonna go, too.

465
00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:25,540
Oh, Dios mío.

466
00:18:26,609 --> 00:18:29,644
- You did good in there, boss.
- Thanks.

467
00:18:29,678 --> 00:18:33,548
I'm just glad you were there
to ruin it all for me.

468
00:18:33,582 --> 00:18:36,184
Hey, anytime you need some interruptus,

469
00:18:36,218 --> 00:18:37,519
I'm your gal.

470
00:18:37,553 --> 00:18:39,187
My class at Reed was the only one

471
00:18:39,221 --> 00:18:42,190
in the history of the school
where no one got pregnant.

472
00:18:44,193 --> 00:18:45,093
What is it, Jayden?

473
00:18:45,127 --> 00:18:47,195
I can't decide
between Derek and Valerie.

474
00:18:47,229 --> 00:18:49,731
I'm gonna assume
those are two speechwriters.

475
00:18:49,765 --> 00:18:51,800
I mean, I know
Valerie is super qualified,

476
00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:54,636
but isn't friendship more
important than job goodness?

477
00:18:54,670 --> 00:18:56,704
Why do these people go on reality shows

478
00:18:56,739 --> 00:18:58,706
and say that they're not there
to make friends?

479
00:18:58,741 --> 00:19:00,875
- Are they crazy?
- Arpi.

480
00:19:00,910 --> 00:19:02,877
Listen up, Kwapis, in this job,

481
00:19:02,912 --> 00:19:05,080
your best and only friend
is the city of Los Angeles.

482
00:19:05,114 --> 00:19:05,947
She will help you move.

483
00:19:05,981 --> 00:19:08,083
She will pick you up at the airport.

484
00:19:08,117 --> 00:19:10,218
She will show up at 3:00 a.m.
with a pint of ice cream

485
00:19:10,252 --> 00:19:12,020
and tell you you're better off
without him.

486
00:19:12,054 --> 00:19:13,688
"Him" being Fresno, maybe. I don't know.

487
00:19:13,722 --> 00:19:16,691
This is getting away from me.
Do the right thing.

488
00:19:16,725 --> 00:19:19,561
- Yes, sir.
- Hmm.

489
00:19:19,595 --> 00:19:22,697
This sorting facility isn't just about

490
00:19:22,731 --> 00:19:24,666
cleaning up my predecessor's mess.

491
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:27,669
It's the start
of a new, cleaner tomorrow

492
00:19:27,703 --> 00:19:29,237
for all of LA.

493
00:19:29,271 --> 00:19:30,872
Now, that's a speech.

494
00:19:30,906 --> 00:19:32,640
He sounds like Winston Churchill

495
00:19:32,675 --> 00:19:34,242
or Glenn Close in "The Wife."

496
00:19:34,276 --> 00:19:35,710
Thank you, Thomas.

497
00:19:35,744 --> 00:19:37,879
I thought the implicit zeugma
of "clean" really...

498
00:19:37,913 --> 00:19:40,949
Ugh. Yeah, great job, Valerie.

499
00:19:40,983 --> 00:19:44,752
I'm so glad that I hired you
and now all of Neil's speeches

500
00:19:44,787 --> 00:19:47,388
are "good" and "different
from each other."

501
00:19:49,425 --> 00:19:52,627
Even if it cost me a chance
with Tarzan's bride.

502
00:19:52,661 --> 00:19:54,295
And he's off script.

503
00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:56,798
I just thought me and Derek
would be best friends forever.

504
00:19:56,832 --> 00:19:58,800
Now he doesn't even return my texts.

505
00:19:58,834 --> 00:20:00,401
Welcome to high school, Jayden,

506
00:20:00,436 --> 00:20:03,104
where everything sucks forever and...

507
00:20:03,139 --> 00:20:05,440
"Orly Bremer followed you"?
Orly Bremer followed me!

508
00:20:05,474 --> 00:20:07,108
I can't hang out with you anymore.

509
00:20:07,143 --> 00:20:08,476
Hey, girl...

510
00:20:11,814 --> 00:20:16,151
Well, best friend, at least I got you.

511
00:20:16,185 --> 00:20:19,120
Ooh, why is my best friend so filthy?

512
00:20:19,155 --> 00:20:20,655
Bleh!

513
00:20:20,689 --> 00:20:22,290
Do you guys know how hard it is

514
00:20:22,324 --> 00:20:24,159
to get a bee startup going?

515
00:20:24,193 --> 00:20:25,929
I mean, I got J.J. Abrams in early,

516
00:20:25,954 --> 00:20:27,095
but now this guy's calling me,

517
00:20:27,136 --> 00:20:28,423
like, 50 times a day like,
"Where's my money?"

518
00:20:28,448 --> 00:20:29,725
I'm like, "I don't really know
what I'm doing,

519
00:20:29,758 --> 00:20:31,124
but I hope they're in there
making honey."

520
00:20:31,149 --> 00:20:33,801
I need them to work and focus.
I'm taking new investors.

521
00:20:33,836 --> 00:20:35,470
Afterwards, just find me.

522
00:20:35,504 --> 00:20:37,437
I am strongly opposed

523
00:20:37,462 --> 00:20:39,958
to these new
energy-efficient streetlights.

524
00:20:39,983 --> 00:20:41,076
You know what?

525
00:20:41,101 --> 00:20:42,744
Actually, I don't even care
about the streetlights.

526
00:20:42,778 --> 00:20:43,912
I don't even live here.

527
00:20:43,946 --> 00:20:46,014
I just go to these town halls
to get out of the house.

528
00:20:46,048 --> 00:20:47,315
I love my husband.

529
00:20:47,349 --> 00:20:48,616
I love his cooking.

530
00:20:48,651 --> 00:20:50,952
He's a wonderful father to our birds,

531
00:20:50,978 --> 00:20:53,988
but the music, it's just constant.
I don't get it.

532
00:20:54,013 --> 00:20:56,789
Everything, whoa, all the time.
I mean, what's the point?

533
00:20:56,814 --> 00:20:57,847
Why not just say it?

534
00:20:57,872 --> 00:21:00,050
It seems easier and less stressful.

535
00:21:00,075 --> 00:21:01,128
I mean, music is dumb, right?

536
00:21:01,153 --> 00:21:03,188
Do you know his last name's
not even Legend?

537
00:21:03,232 --> 00:21:05,366
It's McGruff, like the crime dog.

538
00:21:05,401 --> 00:21:08,336
Anyway, anyone wanna go play
paintball or something?

539
00:21:08,361 --> 00:21:10,572
I have a car, so I can drive us.

540
00:21:10,606 --> 00:21:12,814
All right. Okay.
Go to hell, Culver City.

541
00:21:14,177 --> 00:21:19,177
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com