1 00:00:04,895 --> 00:00:08,616 _ 2 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:11,049 Twenty years back, Vetinari brought the ancient guilds 3 00:00:11,073 --> 00:00:12,889 out of the shadows and legalised them. 4 00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:15,049 You want to steal, join the Thieves' Guild. 5 00:00:15,073 --> 00:00:17,049 Need somebody killed, go to the Assassins' Guild. 6 00:00:17,073 --> 00:00:20,380 The Watch hasn't fought real crime for years. 7 00:00:21,393 --> 00:00:23,009 Arrest me. 8 00:00:23,033 --> 00:00:24,129 We need a plan. 9 00:00:24,153 --> 00:00:26,289 - You're a terrorist. - I suppose I am. 10 00:00:26,313 --> 00:00:27,649 Carcer? 11 00:00:27,673 --> 00:00:29,169 Twenty years ago, did he die? 12 00:00:29,193 --> 00:00:30,489 Sadly not. 13 00:00:30,513 --> 00:00:31,769 But I watched him fall. 14 00:00:31,793 --> 00:00:33,449 I'm with a new gang now. 15 00:00:33,473 --> 00:00:35,369 Silent partners. 16 00:00:35,393 --> 00:00:36,926 They just ask that we burn it down. 17 00:00:38,073 --> 00:00:39,820 This is now a crime scene, Captain. 18 00:00:40,593 --> 00:00:42,009 We don't know what it is. 19 00:00:42,033 --> 00:00:44,449 Find it before Carcer does. 20 00:00:44,473 --> 00:00:45,969 Lady Ramkin wants to help. 21 00:00:45,993 --> 00:00:47,569 I thought I'd check her records. 22 00:00:47,593 --> 00:00:49,140 I think you should read this. 23 00:00:51,433 --> 00:00:52,900 What happened to you? 24 00:01:45,479 --> 00:01:46,559 Miss... 25 00:01:47,619 --> 00:01:48,820 What are you running from? 26 00:02:03,913 --> 00:02:11,010 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 27 00:02:21,426 --> 00:02:22,882 Are you ready? 28 00:02:22,906 --> 00:02:24,460 You wanted to watch the Watch. 29 00:02:25,233 --> 00:02:26,700 Mixed a surveillance spell. 30 00:02:27,319 --> 00:02:28,319 I'm ready. 31 00:02:35,393 --> 00:02:37,740 You haven't answered any of my questions. 32 00:02:39,753 --> 00:02:41,500 These silent partners of yours? 33 00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:43,766 Tell me about the spell. 34 00:02:49,553 --> 00:02:53,249 You'll see and hear whatever Vimes sees and hears. 35 00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:55,089 Will he know I'm watching him? 36 00:02:55,113 --> 00:02:57,689 We connect your minds through a shared memory. 37 00:02:57,713 --> 00:02:59,500 Choose one that's meaningful. 38 00:03:00,606 --> 00:03:01,686 Strong. 39 00:03:05,233 --> 00:03:06,540 Got just the thing. 40 00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:37,353 ? How do they rise ? 41 00:03:38,993 --> 00:03:42,033 ? How do they rise ? 42 00:03:45,233 --> 00:03:50,713 ? All of the angels How do they rise ? 43 00:03:55,933 --> 00:03:57,013 What were you singing? 44 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,340 How long have you been standing there? 45 00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:03,180 I can't settle my boy. 46 00:04:03,913 --> 00:04:05,329 Cheery wants to learn about dragons. 47 00:04:05,353 --> 00:04:07,544 - She can borrow this one. - I can't have that in here. 48 00:04:07,568 --> 00:04:10,409 He'll need 18 pounds of dead snakes and mice a day 49 00:04:10,433 --> 00:04:13,720 or he'll torch this entire place with you in it. 50 00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:21,386 My report. 51 00:04:28,673 --> 00:04:32,049 Twenty years ago, the officer who wrote this report 52 00:04:32,073 --> 00:04:34,760 was coming home after a long watch. 53 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:40,169 A teenage girl ran straight up to him. 54 00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:42,713 Both her parents had just been murdered. 55 00:04:47,273 --> 00:04:49,820 He should have been the one person to make sense of it all. 56 00:04:50,384 --> 00:04:51,660 It's all right, Miss. 57 00:04:52,464 --> 00:04:53,860 It's not a murder at all. 58 00:04:54,864 --> 00:04:56,560 But he found a receipt 59 00:04:56,584 --> 00:04:58,980 from the Assassin's Guild on their bodies. 60 00:05:00,704 --> 00:05:02,780 And calmly informed her 61 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,637 that it was all... 62 00:05:05,624 --> 00:05:06,930 a perfectly legal... 63 00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:08,200 Legal 64 00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:09,860 - inhumation. - ...inhumation. 65 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,160 And there was nothing he could do. 66 00:05:12,184 --> 00:05:16,160 Listen to me. Assassins don't leave witnesses. 67 00:05:16,184 --> 00:05:18,680 You didn't see anything. Say it. 68 00:05:18,704 --> 00:05:21,380 - I didn't see anything. - "I didn't see anything". 69 00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:27,460 I get why you don't want to join. 70 00:05:28,611 --> 00:05:29,611 Oh, no. 71 00:05:30,744 --> 00:05:33,000 I will join you, Vimes. 72 00:05:33,024 --> 00:05:37,500 But I'm never wearing the badge. 73 00:05:46,944 --> 00:05:48,840 "I entrust Gawain's power to you. 74 00:05:48,864 --> 00:05:52,120 "Place him in Veltrick's hand and all will be well." 75 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:54,813 You think Gawain could be what Carcer needs to control the dragon? 76 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,780 Or what we need to kill it. 77 00:05:57,384 --> 00:05:59,380 What is this Gawain? 78 00:06:00,144 --> 00:06:01,920 Whatever it is, it's most likely in the hands 79 00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:03,160 of the statue of King Veltrick, 80 00:06:03,184 --> 00:06:05,280 down in the Assassins' Guild gallery. 81 00:06:05,484 --> 00:06:07,113 Does that say "ass guild"? 82 00:06:08,584 --> 00:06:10,360 I was trying to save time. 83 00:06:10,384 --> 00:06:14,080 Now these are old, but I think the gallery is in the basement. 84 00:06:14,104 --> 00:06:17,080 And you worked out a plan to get us in and out of there. 85 00:06:17,104 --> 00:06:19,560 Working on it through the night, Captain. 86 00:06:19,584 --> 00:06:21,500 Get us into the guild, down to the gallery 87 00:06:21,525 --> 00:06:22,986 and out before they know what hit them. 88 00:06:23,024 --> 00:06:24,400 Good. How? 89 00:06:25,657 --> 00:06:26,963 With tax inspection. 90 00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:32,580 The law gives us the right to inspect their books at any time. 91 00:06:35,584 --> 00:06:37,920 Goodboy, manners. 92 00:06:37,944 --> 00:06:41,200 Oh, Oh, no. I thought I'd done them all in. 93 00:06:41,224 --> 00:06:43,720 Is the entrance to the "ass guild" unprotected? 94 00:06:43,744 --> 00:06:46,279 Yes. Because going in there would be suicide. 95 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,397 Not if you're one of them. 96 00:06:53,624 --> 00:06:56,760 Wearing that and an appropriately stylish cloak, I can go in, 97 00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,983 go down to the basement, find the gallery, 98 00:06:59,007 --> 00:07:01,503 steal the artefact and walk straight out. 99 00:07:01,527 --> 00:07:02,648 How did you get that? 100 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,260 Lady Ramkin, we don't know the shape or size Gawain is. 101 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:06,880 Even if you did get into the basement 102 00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:08,246 without attracting attention... 103 00:07:08,270 --> 00:07:10,160 If you get caught, Lord Vetinari will deny all knowledge. 104 00:07:10,184 --> 00:07:11,480 They don't go out through the front. 105 00:07:11,504 --> 00:07:12,840 They have a door in the basement 106 00:07:12,864 --> 00:07:14,880 that links their building to the one next to it. 107 00:07:14,904 --> 00:07:16,960 It can only be opened from their side, so it's bound to be guarded. 108 00:07:16,984 --> 00:07:19,640 Avoid the guard here... 109 00:07:19,664 --> 00:07:22,160 - ...and you can walk out. - That's my exit. 110 00:07:22,184 --> 00:07:23,560 The Guild's full of trained assassins. 111 00:07:23,584 --> 00:07:25,200 They've also been trained to gather around 112 00:07:25,224 --> 00:07:27,240 the inhumation bell when it tolls at dusk. 113 00:07:27,264 --> 00:07:29,040 That's when I go in. 114 00:07:29,064 --> 00:07:31,960 When the head of the Guild hands out the day's contracts. 115 00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:34,040 Everywhere but the main atrium will be virtually empty. 116 00:07:34,064 --> 00:07:36,180 You really think you should be doing this? 117 00:07:46,637 --> 00:07:48,900 I gather you've all read that report. 118 00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:53,850 That snake is still alive, Cheery, and it bites. 119 00:07:54,984 --> 00:07:56,440 Lady Ramkin. 120 00:07:56,879 --> 00:07:58,399 Lady Ramkin, I didn't tell them. 121 00:07:58,963 --> 00:08:00,579 Hey, Lady Ramkin. 122 00:08:00,604 --> 00:08:01,740 Don't shake it like that. 123 00:08:01,770 --> 00:08:02,850 You're just making it angrier. 124 00:08:04,464 --> 00:08:07,920 The longer you spend searching the gallery, the more likely 125 00:08:07,944 --> 00:08:09,400 something will happen to you. 126 00:08:09,424 --> 00:08:12,656 I'm just saying that with all of us, risk's lower. 127 00:08:12,704 --> 00:08:13,960 We're professionals. 128 00:08:17,224 --> 00:08:19,180 Well, most of the time. 129 00:08:21,304 --> 00:08:23,600 Just get yourself down the door and let us in, all right? 130 00:08:23,624 --> 00:08:26,160 - We'll find Gawain in half the time. - All right. 131 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,530 Understand this. 132 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:32,480 When I ride, I ride hard. 133 00:08:32,863 --> 00:08:34,559 So saddle up your ponies, 134 00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:37,020 keep kicking or stay in the stables. 135 00:08:40,423 --> 00:08:41,639 I don't understand what that meant. 136 00:08:41,663 --> 00:08:43,198 Did anybody understand any of that? 137 00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:45,199 So we need to get into the building next door. 138 00:08:45,223 --> 00:08:47,192 Who'd be stupid enough to base themselves next door 139 00:08:47,216 --> 00:08:48,380 to the Assassins' Guild. 140 00:08:48,525 --> 00:08:51,025 _ 141 00:08:56,423 --> 00:08:57,918 I think you'd suit lipstick. 142 00:08:58,983 --> 00:09:02,300 I didn't realise that going undercover meant we'd have to audition. 143 00:09:02,823 --> 00:09:03,999 Should have had a drink. 144 00:09:04,023 --> 00:09:05,639 Why don't we just walk down to the basement? 145 00:09:05,663 --> 00:09:07,919 Try and get backstage without a VIP pass? 146 00:09:07,943 --> 00:09:10,519 Just remember the three chords we showed you and you'll be fine. 147 00:09:10,543 --> 00:09:11,799 I can't believe they've never heard this song before. 148 00:09:11,823 --> 00:09:12,919 I know. 149 00:09:13,445 --> 00:09:14,839 Wankers. 150 00:09:14,863 --> 00:09:16,543 You guys aren't ready for your alt-jazz vampire-rock fusion 151 00:09:16,569 --> 00:09:17,559 bullshit. 152 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:23,796 All right, listen. 153 00:09:25,063 --> 00:09:27,279 One song can change everything. 154 00:09:27,303 --> 00:09:29,919 Make people cry the same tears, even save the world. 155 00:09:29,943 --> 00:09:31,479 - Hmm. - So let's get this right. 156 00:09:31,503 --> 00:09:32,759 Otherwise we'll get kicked out the building, 157 00:09:32,783 --> 00:09:35,260 Lady Ramkin will die and Ankh-Morpork will burn. 158 00:09:36,583 --> 00:09:37,583 Okay? 159 00:09:39,449 --> 00:09:40,889 Let's shred this. 160 00:09:45,463 --> 00:09:48,023 - I didn't see anything. - "I didn't see anything". 161 00:10:30,366 --> 00:10:32,398 _ 162 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,913 _ 163 00:10:43,823 --> 00:10:47,039 All right. Yeah. So it's wonderful to be here. 164 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,119 Thanks for having us. 165 00:10:48,143 --> 00:10:51,700 Erm, we're the... 166 00:10:54,149 --> 00:10:56,660 We're... We're called... The what? 167 00:10:58,943 --> 00:11:00,879 We're called The What. 168 00:11:00,903 --> 00:11:04,079 And we're gonna play for you an old Dwarfish classic now, 169 00:11:04,103 --> 00:11:05,740 that you might be a little familiar with. 170 00:11:07,162 --> 00:11:09,620 That's right. It's time for Gold. 171 00:11:13,336 --> 00:11:14,456 Gold. 172 00:11:19,756 --> 00:11:21,300 Like we practised, yeah? 173 00:11:39,063 --> 00:11:40,463 _ 174 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:41,720 _ 175 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:42,680 _ 176 00:11:42,806 --> 00:11:43,420 _ 177 00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:45,200 _ 178 00:11:45,206 --> 00:11:45,740 _ 179 00:11:45,780 --> 00:11:46,880 _ 180 00:11:46,881 --> 00:11:47,581 _ 181 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,440 _ 182 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:52,121 _ 183 00:11:52,126 --> 00:11:53,180 _ 184 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:54,660 _ 185 00:11:55,571 --> 00:11:56,732 _ 186 00:11:57,806 --> 00:11:58,436 _ 187 00:11:58,446 --> 00:12:00,924 _ 188 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,380 This magic of yours is amazing. 189 00:12:29,223 --> 00:12:30,839 He's found the artefact? 190 00:12:30,863 --> 00:12:32,860 No, he started a band. 191 00:12:37,543 --> 00:12:40,983 ? We're digging for gold ? 192 00:12:42,143 --> 00:12:45,460 ? Digging for precious gold ? 193 00:13:06,343 --> 00:13:10,959 ? Give you that gold We'll give you that gold ? 194 00:13:10,983 --> 00:13:13,839 ? We'll give you that solid gold ? 195 00:13:13,863 --> 00:13:15,599 ? We're digging for gold ? 196 00:13:15,623 --> 00:13:17,999 ? We'll dig down for gold ? 197 00:13:18,023 --> 00:13:19,583 ? We'll dig down for gold ? 198 00:13:20,783 --> 00:13:23,623 ? Digging for precious gold ? 199 00:13:41,223 --> 00:13:46,060 - Nice mask. - Thanks. I like yours too. 200 00:13:46,783 --> 00:13:49,239 - You do? - Bloody love it. 201 00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:52,519 The pattern's very striking, isn't it? 202 00:13:52,543 --> 00:13:56,220 Not so much Assassins' Guild, but Sassy Guild. 203 00:13:58,303 --> 00:14:00,959 I don't know, girl. I was thinking maybe it's a little too much. 204 00:14:00,983 --> 00:14:03,700 - Oh, shut up. - You shut up. 205 00:14:04,223 --> 00:14:06,999 Nil mortifi sine lucre, sugar. 206 00:14:07,023 --> 00:14:10,060 Nil mortifi sine lucre, babe. 207 00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:14,620 Oh, it looks like an old mask. 208 00:14:28,636 --> 00:14:30,020 Alice. 209 00:14:33,149 --> 00:14:34,580 Find out who that is. 210 00:14:43,503 --> 00:14:45,559 "Access all areas", dudes. 211 00:14:45,583 --> 00:14:49,079 We're now official members of the Musicians' Guild. 212 00:14:49,103 --> 00:14:51,559 Right. Let's get down to the basement. 213 00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:52,679 Meet Lady Ramkin 214 00:14:52,703 --> 00:14:54,799 - and find Gawain. - ...find Gawain. 215 00:14:54,823 --> 00:14:56,620 Should have been doing magic your whole life. 216 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,599 Password. 217 00:15:22,623 --> 00:15:25,039 Did you say something, little girl? 218 00:15:25,063 --> 00:15:28,439 Password, big girl. 219 00:15:28,727 --> 00:15:30,463 We have no need for them here. 220 00:15:30,488 --> 00:15:31,584 Your voice is weird. 221 00:15:31,609 --> 00:15:34,300 My voice gets a lot of compliments. 222 00:15:35,989 --> 00:15:37,749 You're not really one of us, are you? 223 00:15:38,696 --> 00:15:40,520 Haven't seen you here before. 224 00:15:40,955 --> 00:15:42,811 I haven't seen you here before. 225 00:15:42,835 --> 00:15:44,691 Why don't you go back to turning cart wheels 226 00:15:44,715 --> 00:15:46,571 while us big girls do all the work? 227 00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:50,611 I hide in laundry chutes and cupboards 228 00:15:50,635 --> 00:15:53,131 and watch rich people in their hotel suites. 229 00:15:53,155 --> 00:15:56,460 I watch them eat. I watch them sleep. 230 00:15:57,155 --> 00:15:59,340 And I climb out and I strangle them. 231 00:16:02,115 --> 00:16:04,651 I remember what it's like to be your age. 232 00:16:04,675 --> 00:16:06,840 And sometimes you see things you shouldn't see. 233 00:16:06,995 --> 00:16:08,851 Bad things. 234 00:16:08,875 --> 00:16:11,011 And you start to think they're normal, but they're not. 235 00:16:11,035 --> 00:16:13,171 And then when you grow up, you will realise that... 236 00:16:13,195 --> 00:16:15,180 I'm wasting my time here, aren't I? 237 00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:25,044 _ 238 00:16:27,928 --> 00:16:29,368 The door's through here. 239 00:16:31,112 --> 00:16:32,608 Why exactly would the Assassins' Guild 240 00:16:32,632 --> 00:16:34,260 have a door into the Musicians' Guild? 241 00:16:35,352 --> 00:16:37,408 Maybe it's something to do with all this. 242 00:16:37,432 --> 00:16:39,740 The inhumation bell will start any second. 243 00:16:41,472 --> 00:16:42,888 I've calculated that when the bell stops, 244 00:16:42,912 --> 00:16:45,008 we've got a 20 minute window to get in and out. 245 00:16:45,032 --> 00:16:47,140 It sounds more like a door crack than a window. 246 00:17:53,192 --> 00:17:54,711 Oops. 247 00:18:09,058 --> 00:18:10,498 I didn't see anything. 248 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,340 Twenty minutes, Captain. 249 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,580 Something's wrong. 250 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,136 Nil mortifi sine lucre. 251 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:25,540 Nil mortifi sine lucre. 252 00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:28,580 Where's Alice? 253 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:31,440 No? 254 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:47,416 Barton Wallace, administrator of the Grand Trunk Company. 255 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,736 Client says he'll be alone in his office tonight. 256 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,136 But for this kind of money, 257 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,780 I think we can safely say that won't be the case. 258 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,160 Laugh. 259 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,420 You're new, aren't you? 260 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,020 - Name? - Steph. 261 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,660 - Guild name? - Bad Steph. 262 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,020 Bad Steph. 263 00:20:28,153 --> 00:20:31,300 You just took your name and bolted the word "Bad" onto it. 264 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,340 We've gotta get through. 265 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,336 The door is solid stygium. 266 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:41,736 The Watch might not be able to get through, 267 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,580 but in here, we're not just the Watch. 268 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,400 We're undercover 269 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:49,740 As The What? 270 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,336 - What? - That felt good. 271 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,580 Sometimes you just gotta get that finger and stick it to the man. 272 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,136 What man? 273 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,610 What finger? 274 00:21:08,647 --> 00:21:09,856 Fifteen minutes, Captain. 275 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:11,736 We have to find Gawain fast. 276 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:12,949 Lady Ramkin first. 277 00:21:12,987 --> 00:21:14,177 She could be anywhere. 278 00:21:14,201 --> 00:21:16,496 I'll find her. Her perfume is infused with asafoetida. 279 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:17,780 And juniper. 280 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:20,820 I think. 281 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,740 Over to you, Angua. 282 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,616 You don't have to confirm that. 283 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,988 I can see the sort of assassin that you are by your shoes. 284 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:39,300 Where did you get them? No, don't actually answer. 285 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,920 Don't tell me... 286 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,060 Excuse me. 287 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,180 Are you gonna pull that trigger? 288 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,260 Sorry, are you? 289 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:56,740 Oh, um... 290 00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,976 I hadn't decided. 291 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,136 - Ah, typical. - Are you... 292 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,296 I'm not signing autographs today. 293 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,776 Have you come to collect his soul? 294 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,616 I don't usually do this, 295 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,696 but you were about to pull the trigger, 296 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,536 - and then you... - Weren't sure. 297 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:19,336 Mmm. I know that revenge is a complicated business, 298 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,976 but I'm on something of a tight schedule today. 299 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,976 I don't want to go somewhere else. 300 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,740 And then have to race back here. 301 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,740 Did you collect my mother's soul? 302 00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:32,096 My father's? 303 00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:34,416 - I don't want to rush you. - Did you? 304 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,780 - If you could just make a decision... - Answer me. 305 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:41,296 Why doesn't anyone ever think of me? Do I matter? 306 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,380 I'll answer that. I do matter. I matter a lot. 307 00:22:45,220 --> 00:22:48,380 Please... Please answer me. 308 00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:58,660 I am one of the only two certainties in the multiverse. 309 00:22:59,580 --> 00:23:03,940 What did they say when they saw you? 310 00:23:05,827 --> 00:23:07,100 Were they afraid? 311 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,220 Oh, we're gonna be here all day, aren't we? 312 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:14,656 That bastard is never going to face 313 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,656 any kind of justice in this world. 314 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,020 Or the next. 315 00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:24,180 - What's the other certainty? - Taxes. 316 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,980 Get a better name. The Slash. 317 00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:36,500 Show Bad Steph here how it's done, will you? 318 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:45,176 Now let's see who else is about to have the worst... 319 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,500 I mean, last day of their lives. 320 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:50,668 Laugh. 321 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,820 Now I'll show you how it's done, Dr Cruces. 322 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:13,600 Talking to Bad Steph like that. 323 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,360 We've had enough of you treating us like children. 324 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,696 And I've had enough of talking to myself. 325 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,260 Why aren't you with your friends? 326 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:55,736 Who're you? 327 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,220 You're just so... 328 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:01,016 accountant-y. 329 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:04,416 I've got 210 inhumations to my name 330 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:08,220 across a 22 year, six month and four day kill streak. 331 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:12,000 Does that sound remotely accountant-y to you? 332 00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:13,660 Yes. 333 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,296 - What's your name? - The Duke of Stab. 334 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,256 - Your real name. - The anonymity between 335 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:19,816 assassin and client has been enshrined... 336 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,220 Inigo Skimmer. 337 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:22,980 Ramkin Mansion. 338 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:25,380 Twenty summers ago. 339 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,620 You don't even remember. Do you? 340 00:25:30,159 --> 00:25:31,359 Remember what? 341 00:25:39,293 --> 00:25:41,300 Someone's been working off the books? 342 00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:45,536 Death and taxes. 343 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,536 Now we come to any other business. 344 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,456 Firstly, I'd like to congratulate Karen from Finance 345 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,376 for her record kill streak this month. 346 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,140 Let's hear it for Karen from Finance. 347 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,280 Well done. 348 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,496 Who knew paper cuts could be so lethal. 349 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,576 Now, Sex Party Ben. 350 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:04,856 It's come to my attention 351 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,376 that your recent inhumation of a Anna Manager 352 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:11,260 at that orgy was in fact, a serious breach of our code. 353 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:14,456 She was a member of the Launderers' Guild. 354 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,096 A small oversight. 355 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:17,336 But we all know it's illegal 356 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:19,496 for one guild member to attack another. 357 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:22,540 You have forfeited your right to anonymity. 358 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,540 Also, your right to life. 359 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,180 We'll pop today's date on it for you. 360 00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:40,300 Karen from Finance, you cold bitch. 361 00:26:42,993 --> 00:26:44,220 Lady Ramkin. 362 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,056 What do you think you're doing? 363 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:49,216 We're supposed to be finding... 364 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,820 This man inhumed my parents. 365 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,376 I was there, Vimes. 366 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,056 I have never left a witness. 367 00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:59,416 That's how you got the mask. 368 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:01,216 - I want you to arrest him. - That can't happen. 369 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,816 He has an address and a bag filled with cold, hard cash 370 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,496 in old currency. He's working off the books. 371 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:09,536 All income must be declared. 372 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,776 Carrot said the watch has tax inspection powers. 373 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,856 You're the Watch? You look like a really shit band. 374 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,296 We're undercover. 375 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:17,976 And tax evasion is an arrestable offence 376 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,536 under the Criminal Finances Act. 377 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,056 Minimum sentence, three years, confiscation of livestock. 378 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,416 I don't have livestock. 379 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,016 Yeah, but if you did. 380 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:26,540 Nine minutes, Captain. 381 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:28,540 We're not arresting anybody. 382 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,376 Hmm. 383 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,780 But you're gonna help us find what we're looking for. 384 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,860 - Where are they? - A gallery. 385 00:27:43,300 --> 00:27:44,500 How long, Cheery? 386 00:27:45,420 --> 00:27:46,580 Seven minutes, Sir. 387 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:50,620 Hurry up, would you? 388 00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:55,456 This is what you're looking for? 389 00:27:55,480 --> 00:28:00,140 King Veltrick I, founder of the very first Watch if I'm not mistaken. 390 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:02,776 You didn't know that. 391 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,775 Apparently he thought we'd benefit from having real police. 392 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,536 Bless him. 393 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:11,460 He was inhumed four days after he'd forged the first badge. 394 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,856 His hands. They're empty. It's not here. 395 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,900 - What was he holding? - Gawain. 396 00:28:19,093 --> 00:28:20,253 A sword. 397 00:28:20,973 --> 00:28:22,780 Gawain is a sword. 398 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:24,256 And Carcer beat us to it. 399 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,296 - The sword was stolen years ago. - By who? 400 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:27,776 What is this? An interview? 401 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:31,723 - Answer the question. - Question? Am I a suspect? 402 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,621 So sweet. You think you're very professional, don't you? 403 00:28:36,645 --> 00:28:38,925 You know, I think I am going to arrest you. 404 00:28:38,973 --> 00:28:41,060 - Arrest me? - Arrest me. 405 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,656 You can't arrest anybody. 406 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:47,576 - What's this guy's name? - Inigo Skimmer. 407 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:51,016 Inigo Skimmer, I'm arresting you on suspicion of tax evasion 408 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:52,740 under the, uh... 409 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,016 You really can't arrest anybody. 410 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:00,736 The Criminal Finances Act, Sir. 411 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:02,300 Criminal Finances Act. 412 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:03,856 You're coming with us. 413 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:05,540 Come on, arrest me! 414 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:09,581 What are you waiting for? 415 00:29:09,605 --> 00:29:10,860 Arrest me. 416 00:29:12,660 --> 00:29:14,096 That sounded like Carcer. 417 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:15,816 Your temples are glowing, Sir. 418 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,130 What's happening, Wonse? 419 00:29:17,154 --> 00:29:18,860 That is Carcer. 420 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,896 He must be drawing on the same memory using... 421 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,420 Some kind of magical wiretap. 422 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:27,820 Can he see back into my mind? 423 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,576 He's watching though my memory. 424 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,576 Can you watch him back, Captain? 425 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,096 I can see back into his mind. 426 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:36,680 Captain, can you find him? 427 00:29:36,705 --> 00:29:37,881 Cut it off. 428 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,376 I love you. 429 00:29:44,590 --> 00:29:45,646 Can you find him? 430 00:29:45,671 --> 00:29:46,727 Cut it off. 431 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:55,840 Cut it off. 432 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,100 You see where he is, Captain? 433 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,700 No, no, no. He's gone. 434 00:30:09,713 --> 00:30:11,433 I just saw, uh... 435 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:15,776 I don't know what I saw. 436 00:30:18,755 --> 00:30:19,909 Captain. 437 00:30:21,773 --> 00:30:22,814 Time's up. 438 00:30:22,839 --> 00:30:24,300 You're all going to die. 439 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:39,460 You were attacked by musicians? 440 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:41,616 This is unbelievable. 441 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,460 No way back. No way out the front. 442 00:30:45,213 --> 00:30:46,673 You came in through there? 443 00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,416 That's Dr Cruces' private room. 444 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,060 ? You make me paranoid ? 445 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,280 ? Paranoid ? 446 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:57,640 You must know another way out. 447 00:30:58,520 --> 00:30:59,520 I... 448 00:31:01,466 --> 00:31:02,626 What could he have seen? 449 00:31:03,513 --> 00:31:04,593 I don't know. 450 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:10,280 Thoughts, memories, impulses, feelings maybe. 451 00:31:11,907 --> 00:31:13,300 What don't you want him to see? 452 00:31:13,699 --> 00:31:14,779 Doesn't matter. 453 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,136 He never would have made it out of there alive. 454 00:31:18,460 --> 00:31:19,896 - Yeah. - Well done, Wonse. 455 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,591 We know what we need to find now. 456 00:31:21,615 --> 00:31:24,096 Yes. The sword. 457 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:27,260 Must have been stolen by one of their own, right? 458 00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,300 Assassins have a strict disciplinary code. 459 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:37,740 I know where we'll find the thief. 460 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,300 Skimmer is the only one not accounted for. 461 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:47,720 It's the woman with the weird voice. 462 00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:49,813 I know it. 463 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,920 Accountant-y little shit. 464 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:02,080 Let's go. 465 00:32:32,366 --> 00:32:35,366 _ 466 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,100 This is where the assassins bury their dead. 467 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,096 On this side, 468 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:46,376 they're buried with honour 469 00:32:46,416 --> 00:32:49,056 and the anonymity that protected their life 470 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,576 from revenge or reprisals. 471 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,096 But anyone who breaches their code 472 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,776 is immediately inhumed, loses that anonymity 473 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,013 and is buried with their real name 474 00:32:59,037 --> 00:33:00,780 with details of their offence. 475 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,056 That's why so few dare. 476 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:04,920 Our thief should be easy to find then. 477 00:33:05,286 --> 00:33:06,460 Yeah. 478 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:14,576 Do you even have a cell to put me in? 479 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:16,256 We have a very well-equipped basement. 480 00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:17,576 He's not going in your basement. 481 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,900 We're being followed by a living doll. 482 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:22,296 No, it's just a kid. 483 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:24,980 You all right, little one? Are you lost? 484 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:26,680 Whoa! 485 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,376 I mean we do some rock and roll shit. 486 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:31,736 - Yeah? - Don't get me wrong. 487 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,376 But kicking a kid in the face? 488 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:34,976 Shame on you, Lady Ramkin. 489 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:36,420 Hello, little one. 490 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:54,980 Lady Ramkin was right, we should have kicked her in the face. 491 00:34:15,873 --> 00:34:16,993 Here. 492 00:34:17,005 --> 00:34:19,124 _ 493 00:34:19,720 --> 00:34:21,736 Inhumed for death and absconsion. 494 00:34:21,878 --> 00:34:24,014 Jocasta Wiggs, her real name. 495 00:34:24,039 --> 00:34:26,380 No death date. They never caught her. 496 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,340 She's still alive. 497 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,336 If she survived the assassins all this time, she'll be dangerous. 498 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:32,940 - You'll need... - She'll be old. 499 00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:36,346 We find her, we find the sword. 500 00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:38,460 Carcer... 501 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:43,060 When are you gonna tell me who this is all for? 502 00:34:43,739 --> 00:34:45,340 When everyone's dead. 503 00:34:48,487 --> 00:34:50,424 _ 504 00:34:57,947 --> 00:35:00,340 - Taxes? - Taxes. 505 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:03,040 Our first arrest. 506 00:35:05,759 --> 00:35:07,580 We didn't go in there for this. 507 00:35:11,340 --> 00:35:13,656 At least we know what this is now. 508 00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:17,336 But Carcer knows there's a sword too, and he'll be looking for it. 509 00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,869 Maybe Skimmer can tell us more. Help us find him. 510 00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:22,376 I'm very happy to interrogate him. 511 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:26,020 - Interview, you mean? - Yes, of course. That too. 512 00:35:35,060 --> 00:35:36,260 "We're outside." 513 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:42,936 "You should come out too. 514 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,620 "Sorry. Should have made that clear on the first." 515 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:52,856 "Unless you'd rather we did this in there. 516 00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,140 "Just thinking of the mess." 517 00:36:10,466 --> 00:36:13,420 So you're The Watch. 518 00:36:19,340 --> 00:36:20,736 Sorry. 519 00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,256 We were meant to be undercover. 520 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,500 What were you doing in our building? 521 00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:27,100 Tax inspection. 522 00:36:27,780 --> 00:36:29,176 We'd gotten word that a member of your guild 523 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,420 called Inigo Skimmer has been working off the books. 524 00:36:32,140 --> 00:36:33,656 Undeclared income is a serious... 525 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:37,180 You think he'd declare the money he was given to kill his own boss? 526 00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,176 Only the Thieves' Guild would be so cheap 527 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:43,056 as to pay in a dead currency like Morporkian dollars. 528 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,503 They've had a contract out on me ever since I accused that 529 00:36:45,527 --> 00:36:47,816 little prick Urdo of being a virgin. 530 00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:49,900 Urdo, head of the Thieves' Guild? 531 00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:52,856 And he absolutely is a virgin. 532 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,856 Also, he knows that it is illegal 533 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,827 for one guild's members to attack another's. 534 00:36:58,852 --> 00:37:01,428 So in a way, I should thank you. 535 00:37:01,452 --> 00:37:02,708 You've given me all I need 536 00:37:02,732 --> 00:37:04,468 to have him banished from the council. 537 00:37:04,492 --> 00:37:06,908 And then we'll have no one between us and Vetinari. 538 00:37:06,932 --> 00:37:08,640 Now, where was I? 539 00:37:09,105 --> 00:37:10,265 Oh, yes. 540 00:37:13,372 --> 00:37:16,348 It's illegal for one guild's member to attack another's? 541 00:37:16,372 --> 00:37:19,620 We're in the Musicians' Guild. Come on, licences, quick. 542 00:37:30,780 --> 00:37:32,188 And you? 543 00:37:32,212 --> 00:37:34,788 Why don't you go back to hiding in that cupboard? 544 00:37:34,812 --> 00:37:36,994 Our guild rules state we can audition affiliate members 545 00:37:37,018 --> 00:37:38,494 anytime, anywhere. 546 00:37:38,518 --> 00:37:40,260 She doesn't have an instrument. 547 00:37:44,092 --> 00:37:47,652 ? How do they rise ? 548 00:37:49,132 --> 00:37:52,812 ? How do they rise ? 549 00:37:54,452 --> 00:37:59,540 ? All of those angels ? 550 00:38:00,365 --> 00:38:04,205 ? How do they rise ? 551 00:38:06,252 --> 00:38:10,780 ? They lift their heads up ? 552 00:38:11,932 --> 00:38:16,100 ? They lift their heads up ? 553 00:38:18,698 --> 00:38:21,820 ? They rise up ? 554 00:38:23,012 --> 00:38:26,932 ? They rise up ? 555 00:38:34,372 --> 00:38:36,108 Oh. 556 00:38:36,132 --> 00:38:38,900 Seems you're far better musicians than police officers. 557 00:38:39,431 --> 00:38:40,671 I'll see you soon... 558 00:38:41,365 --> 00:38:42,365 Captain. 559 00:38:51,439 --> 00:38:53,100 Remember what I told you about the finger? 560 00:38:54,005 --> 00:38:55,260 This finger? 561 00:39:03,765 --> 00:39:05,780 I heard you singing it in your sleep. 562 00:39:07,652 --> 00:39:08,980 I liked it. 563 00:39:19,658 --> 00:39:20,900 She liked it. 564 00:39:23,612 --> 00:39:26,588 If you let The Watch arrest everyone who evades tax... 565 00:39:26,612 --> 00:39:31,988 The city will be in a far better position to defend itself. 566 00:39:32,012 --> 00:39:35,268 There is a dragon at large and keeping it at bay 567 00:39:35,292 --> 00:39:36,708 will be very expensive. 568 00:39:36,911 --> 00:39:38,887 Not to mention the cost 569 00:39:38,912 --> 00:39:41,800 of the clean-up operations after its attack. 570 00:39:42,252 --> 00:39:44,468 Strange times. 571 00:39:44,492 --> 00:39:47,388 One extinct species returning to stalk the sky... 572 00:39:47,412 --> 00:39:49,548 You'll be glad to hear I've raised the bounty. 573 00:39:49,572 --> 00:39:51,468 ...and another, suddenly waking up 574 00:39:51,492 --> 00:39:54,420 to responsibilities it's never taken seriously before. 575 00:39:55,852 --> 00:39:57,948 I look forward to hearing what sanctions you'll take 576 00:39:57,972 --> 00:40:00,520 against the Thieves' Guild, for their outrageous transgression. 577 00:40:02,078 --> 00:40:03,198 My Lord. 578 00:40:11,845 --> 00:40:12,845 Vimes... 579 00:40:14,189 --> 00:40:16,045 as of this moment, 580 00:40:16,069 --> 00:40:21,260 you will officially cease to pursue any further enquiries. 581 00:40:22,189 --> 00:40:23,780 Sir, um... 582 00:40:24,189 --> 00:40:27,098 Carcer is going to keep looking for the sword 583 00:40:27,127 --> 00:40:28,980 and that dragon's gonna keep on feeding. 584 00:40:29,229 --> 00:40:30,445 Undoubtedly. 585 00:40:30,469 --> 00:40:32,485 But if the Assassins' Guild 586 00:40:32,509 --> 00:40:35,365 were to learn there's a means of controlling it... 587 00:40:35,389 --> 00:40:37,300 They'd want to keep it for themselves. 588 00:40:38,009 --> 00:40:40,840 "Officially" cease to pursue. 589 00:40:43,589 --> 00:40:46,125 Is this one of those situations where you want me to do 590 00:40:46,149 --> 00:40:51,100 the exact opposite of what you just told me to do? 591 00:40:51,309 --> 00:40:52,900 I don't know, Vimes. 592 00:40:54,208 --> 00:40:55,568 Is it? 593 00:41:06,075 --> 00:41:07,740 Something wrong with your hand, Vimes? 594 00:41:08,429 --> 00:41:10,580 No, Sir. No. Nothing at all. 595 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:17,040 CREDITS