1
00:00:04,039 --> 00:00:05,678
Grass. Reefer.

2
00:00:05,721 --> 00:00:08,502
Jazz cigarettes. Jamaican caviar.

3
00:00:08,535 --> 00:00:12,271
Whatever you call it, legalized
marijuana is here to stay.

4
00:00:12,305 --> 00:00:14,146
Did you not review
his remarks beforehand?

5
00:00:14,171 --> 00:00:15,099
I wrote them.

6
00:00:15,124 --> 00:00:16,662
I looked up all the slang
on my church's website.

7
00:00:16,687 --> 00:00:19,489
Today, the legal marijuana business

8
00:00:19,523 --> 00:00:21,662
is a financial boon to our city.

9
00:00:21,694 --> 00:00:24,129
So I am proud to be here
at the grand opening

10
00:00:24,163 --> 00:00:26,745
of L.A.'s 10,000th dispensary.

11
00:00:26,770 --> 00:00:29,395
You ready, L.A.?

12
00:00:29,426 --> 00:00:33,138
Go... buy drugs now!

13
00:00:33,172 --> 00:00:35,140
He improv'd that.

14
00:00:47,353 --> 00:00:49,521
At 10:00, we go to
Alf Junior High School,

15
00:00:49,555 --> 00:00:51,990
which he named after
Alf from the show "Alf."

16
00:00:52,024 --> 00:00:53,358
So much history in this city.

17
00:00:53,392 --> 00:00:54,793
It's a photo op

18
00:00:54,827 --> 00:00:56,127
for the Meatless Monday
school lunch initiative.

19
00:00:56,162 --> 00:00:57,562
Yeah, should be a total lay-up.

20
00:00:57,596 --> 00:00:59,597
We just don't want to get meme-ed.

21
00:00:59,632 --> 00:01:01,766
You know, the funny internet photos?

22
00:01:01,801 --> 00:01:03,768
Oh, like the one with the happy baby,

23
00:01:03,803 --> 00:01:06,037
and underneath it says,
"When you hit the fairway."

24
00:01:06,071 --> 00:01:09,707
It's funny because how would
the baby know, right?

25
00:01:09,742 --> 00:01:11,876
That's hilarious, sir,
but as a public figure,

26
00:01:11,911 --> 00:01:13,545
you don't want
to become a funny picture.

27
00:01:13,579 --> 00:01:14,479
- Okay.
- That's why we avoid

28
00:01:14,513 --> 00:01:17,649
bathing suits,
dancing at a cultural day,

29
00:01:17,683 --> 00:01:19,551
and, above all, eating on camera.

30
00:01:19,585 --> 00:01:21,386
- Got it, no eating.
- After Meatless Mondays,

31
00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:24,189
we go to El Segundo
to open up a community center.

32
00:01:24,223 --> 00:01:26,191
And I figure we can eat in the car.

33
00:01:26,225 --> 00:01:27,358
It's my turn to pick, and I pick tacos.

34
00:01:27,393 --> 00:01:29,160
- In the car, Jayden?
- Tacos is a terrible car food.

35
00:01:29,195 --> 00:01:30,461
I pick tacos!

36
00:01:30,496 --> 00:01:31,996
- Okay.
- After that, we go to

37
00:01:32,031 --> 00:01:34,999
Tujunga to judge
a Cutest Grandpa competition.

38
00:01:35,034 --> 00:01:36,401
- That sounds fun.
- A what?

39
00:01:36,435 --> 00:01:37,682
No, I'm the mayor.

40
00:01:37,737 --> 00:01:40,004
I shouldn't be spending my day
going to a ceremony

41
00:01:40,046 --> 00:01:43,849
celebrating zero deaths
at Six Flags this summer.

42
00:01:43,876 --> 00:01:45,710
Oh, no, they actually
canceled that this morning.

43
00:01:45,744 --> 00:01:48,079
- They checked the bushes.
- Now, what I'm saying is

44
00:01:48,113 --> 00:01:51,416
we have real problems here...
homelessness, infrastructure.

45
00:01:51,450 --> 00:01:52,917
The Oscar host situation.

46
00:01:52,952 --> 00:01:54,586
God, that group thing does not work.

47
00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:57,088
These photo ops and canned speeches...

48
00:01:57,122 --> 00:01:59,657
it's just pointless.
I want to do something.

49
00:01:59,692 --> 00:02:02,961
Let's fix the traffic problem.
Build a subway.

50
00:02:02,995 --> 00:02:04,896
L.A. has a subway, sir.

51
00:02:04,930 --> 00:02:06,231
Well, it stinks.

52
00:02:06,265 --> 00:02:07,398
- Hey.
- What?

53
00:02:07,433 --> 00:02:09,367
I hate my job too.

54
00:02:09,401 --> 00:02:10,869
But you know how I get through the day?

55
00:02:10,903 --> 00:02:12,437
We all know
how you get through your day.

56
00:02:12,471 --> 00:02:15,039
This is what change looks like.

57
00:02:15,074 --> 00:02:18,610
I am the first woman of color
without a master's degree

58
00:02:18,644 --> 00:02:20,245
to serve as chief of staff.

59
00:02:20,279 --> 00:02:23,047
Hashtag progress, hashtag one filter.

60
00:02:23,082 --> 00:02:24,983
My first act as "the boss"...

61
00:02:25,017 --> 00:02:27,485
changing the code
on the executive bathroom

62
00:02:27,519 --> 00:02:30,421
to the birthday of a feminist icon.

63
00:02:30,456 --> 00:02:31,823
Katniss Everdeen.

64
00:02:31,857 --> 00:02:35,360
Hey, I'm not perfect.
My nails are chipped.

65
00:02:35,394 --> 00:02:37,195
I get UTIs.

66
00:02:37,229 --> 00:02:39,764
My car is filthy.

67
00:02:39,798 --> 00:02:41,532
Oh!

68
00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:44,535
Hey guys. I mean, good morning, sir.

69
00:02:44,570 --> 00:02:45,970
Good morning. Apparently, I'm not

70
00:02:46,005 --> 00:02:47,906
gonna be in the office at all today

71
00:02:47,940 --> 00:02:51,643
because being mayor is 90%
photo ops and animal funerals.

72
00:02:51,677 --> 00:02:53,578
Not just any animal. Dog with a Blog.

73
00:02:53,612 --> 00:02:56,281
So I'm putting you
in charge today, Mikaela,

74
00:02:56,315 --> 00:02:58,283
and you have one job...

75
00:02:58,317 --> 00:03:00,285
babysit Arpi Meskimen.

76
00:03:00,319 --> 00:03:02,553
Keep your friends close
but keep your enemies closer.

77
00:03:02,588 --> 00:03:04,822
That's why I'm
so nice to my sister's baby.

78
00:03:04,857 --> 00:03:06,579
I don't trust the deputy mayor,

79
00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:08,383
so keep her distracted, okay?

80
00:03:08,408 --> 00:03:10,695
I'll be cigarette lighter.
She'll be my sister's baby.

81
00:03:10,729 --> 00:03:12,597
Thank you Mikaela.

82
00:03:14,566 --> 00:03:16,167
I'm not saying this about a dog.

83
00:03:16,201 --> 00:03:17,302
I'll show you a picture, sir.

84
00:03:17,336 --> 00:03:18,836
For a dog he was pretty hot,

85
00:03:18,871 --> 00:03:21,306
and for a blogger, he was very hot.

86
00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:23,541
This is my office.

87
00:03:23,575 --> 00:03:25,310
Still got a lot of work to do.

88
00:03:25,344 --> 00:03:26,811
I heard you wanted to see me.

89
00:03:26,845 --> 00:03:28,313
I'd been hoping

90
00:03:28,347 --> 00:03:29,514
to get a minute with you as well.

91
00:03:29,548 --> 00:03:30,882
I'd love to show you "Pee-pee porn."

92
00:03:30,916 --> 00:03:33,851
Ew, no. Wait, is that sex negative?

93
00:03:33,886 --> 00:03:36,321
It's an acronym for Private Plane Paths

94
00:03:36,355 --> 00:03:37,855
Over Residential Neighborhoods.

95
00:03:37,890 --> 00:03:40,591
I been working on this
ever since the Richie-Riches

96
00:03:40,626 --> 00:03:43,328
in Santa Monica got the FAA
to ban private jets

97
00:03:43,362 --> 00:03:45,330
at their airport
because of noise pollution.

98
00:03:45,364 --> 00:03:46,898
The problem is,

99
00:03:46,932 --> 00:03:49,334
now Van Nuys airport
is getting twice the traffic,

100
00:03:49,368 --> 00:03:51,769
which means twice the noise
over poorer neighborhoods.

101
00:03:51,804 --> 00:03:53,871
And it's really affecting
the kids there.

102
00:03:53,906 --> 00:03:56,674
I mean, did you see this year's
L.A. County Spelling Bee?

103
00:03:56,709 --> 00:03:59,077
Your word is syzygy.

104
00:03:59,111 --> 00:04:01,346
- What?
- Syzygy.

105
00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:02,580
What?

106
00:04:02,614 --> 00:04:04,582
- Syzygy!
- What?

107
00:04:04,616 --> 00:04:06,918
- Mm.
- I'd love... to take PPPORN

108
00:04:06,952 --> 00:04:09,354
to the Council
with Mayor Bremer's support.

109
00:04:09,395 --> 00:04:11,730
And since he's out, his...

110
00:04:11,757 --> 00:04:14,225
chief of staff is the boss.

111
00:04:14,259 --> 00:04:16,294
So, boss...

112
00:04:16,328 --> 00:04:20,865
Arpi, obviously,
PPPORN is worth looking at,

113
00:04:20,899 --> 00:04:23,768
but it's not going to be
our priority today.

114
00:04:24,703 --> 00:04:26,804
Fair enough. So what is?

115
00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:29,307
Um... today, I was thinking

116
00:04:29,341 --> 00:04:33,044
that we could all settle in,
set up our offices.

117
00:04:33,078 --> 00:04:35,580
I'm sure you have a lot
of unpacking to do.

118
00:04:35,614 --> 00:04:37,882
No, I asked them
to not give me an office.

119
00:04:37,916 --> 00:04:39,884
This is all of the desk I need.

120
00:04:39,918 --> 00:04:41,986
Inbox, outbox, pepper spray,

121
00:04:42,021 --> 00:04:44,555
trail mix, and a David Baldacci novel

122
00:04:44,590 --> 00:04:46,365
for red lights while I'm on my bicycle.

123
00:04:46,390 --> 00:04:47,757
Well, as you can see,

124
00:04:47,782 --> 00:04:49,694
my office still needs a lot of work.

125
00:04:49,728 --> 00:04:51,796
I get it. Optics are important.

126
00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:53,286
You're the chief of frickin' staff.

127
00:04:53,311 --> 00:04:54,441
You got the cherry parking spot

128
00:04:54,466 --> 00:04:55,762
and the code to the good bathroom.

129
00:04:55,787 --> 00:04:57,683
You need an office space
that reflects that.

130
00:04:57,708 --> 00:04:59,949
So how can I help?

131
00:05:00,114 --> 00:05:03,784
Okay, great. Well, I got some magazines.

132
00:05:03,809 --> 00:05:07,045
- Looking for ideas. Smart.
- I was going to make a vision board.

133
00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:08,604
See it all together. Find a theme.

134
00:05:08,647 --> 00:05:10,148
But I couldn't find any tape.

135
00:05:10,182 --> 00:05:12,350
Well, then let's get you some tape.

136
00:05:12,384 --> 00:05:14,619
To the supply closet, boss.

137
00:05:17,753 --> 00:05:19,287
Why am I sitting in traffic?

138
00:05:19,312 --> 00:05:20,443
Where's my police escort?

139
00:05:20,468 --> 00:05:22,169
Okay, so I did order a police escort

140
00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:23,837
off of the internet,
but when she showed up,

141
00:05:23,862 --> 00:05:25,063
she was a stripper.

142
00:05:25,097 --> 00:05:26,264
So I told her to go home, and she said,

143
00:05:26,298 --> 00:05:28,032
"I don't have a home,"
so I said, "Come live with me."

144
00:05:28,067 --> 00:05:30,068
- Hey, sweetheart.
- We watched your press

145
00:05:30,102 --> 00:05:32,303
conference this morning
in civics... we're doing a unit

146
00:05:32,337 --> 00:05:35,873
on the boomer generation's
failure and hypocrisy.

147
00:05:35,908 --> 00:05:37,442
Like how a certain powerful boomer

148
00:05:37,476 --> 00:05:39,777
wouldn't let me buy a CBD mud mask,

149
00:05:39,812 --> 00:05:41,446
but this morning he told the whole city

150
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,114
to go and buy drugs.

151
00:05:43,148 --> 00:05:45,950
Okay, all right, look,
that was the mayor talking.

152
00:05:45,984 --> 00:05:49,987
Cannabis is legal for adults.
You're 15, Orly.

153
00:05:50,022 --> 00:05:51,456
You do know that legalization

154
00:05:51,490 --> 00:05:53,925
is racist and classist, right?

155
00:05:53,959 --> 00:05:55,993
A lot of marginalized communities

156
00:05:56,028 --> 00:05:58,463
depend on the illicit drug
trade to live.

157
00:05:58,497 --> 00:06:02,333
The poor, surfers, DJs
with crushing DJ school debt.

158
00:06:02,367 --> 00:06:06,074
You are so smart. I'm so proud of you.

159
00:06:07,031 --> 00:06:10,166
Ooh, sir, we are back on for Six Flags.

160
00:06:10,209 --> 00:06:11,809
That body they found turned out to be

161
00:06:11,844 --> 00:06:12,944
a very realistic sex doll.

162
00:06:12,978 --> 00:06:15,480
And we're celebrating that?

163
00:06:15,514 --> 00:06:17,381
Really?

164
00:06:17,416 --> 00:06:19,750
Yes. Jared, yes!

165
00:06:19,785 --> 00:06:22,687
That was the best Spider-Man. Yeah!

166
00:06:22,721 --> 00:06:24,088
Someone's mood has improved.

167
00:06:24,123 --> 00:06:25,690
Yeah, I had a couple pudding cups.

168
00:06:25,724 --> 00:06:28,192
That's a very cool blouse.

169
00:06:28,227 --> 00:06:31,729
Wait, that was just a heart.

170
00:06:31,763 --> 00:06:33,297
And now it's a soccer ball?

171
00:06:33,332 --> 00:06:35,233
Are you kidding me, Chloe R.?

172
00:06:35,267 --> 00:06:37,168
Did you... Oh, yeah.

173
00:06:37,202 --> 00:06:38,469
Okay, let's just get this over with.

174
00:06:38,504 --> 00:06:40,004
Okay, everybody.

175
00:06:40,038 --> 00:06:43,508
Sir, sir, remember. Don't eat.

176
00:06:43,542 --> 00:06:45,510
Whisper, whisper, whisper.

177
00:06:45,544 --> 00:06:47,211
So "meatless Mondays" on three!

178
00:06:47,246 --> 00:06:49,046
One, two...

179
00:06:49,081 --> 00:06:51,249
Oh my God, what is he doing?

180
00:06:51,283 --> 00:06:53,451
Is he rolling it up, tip to crust?

181
00:06:53,508 --> 00:06:55,000
No, no, please don't eat it.

182
00:06:55,024 --> 00:06:56,454
Don't eat it, don't eat it!

183
00:06:56,455 --> 00:06:59,172
- Don't eat it! Oh!
- Oh!

184
00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:00,910
Sir.

185
00:07:02,995 --> 00:07:05,463
Meatless Monday.

186
00:07:05,488 --> 00:07:07,713
I have so much food in my mouth.

187
00:07:07,738 --> 00:07:09,045
I couldn't say it.

188
00:07:10,141 --> 00:07:12,476
Shoot. Looks like we're out of tape.

189
00:07:12,578 --> 00:07:15,046
This tends to happen towardss
gthe end of the fiscal year.

190
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:16,449
We run out of tape?

191
00:07:16,496 --> 00:07:17,889
City government, boss.

192
00:07:17,923 --> 00:07:20,725
It ain't Google
with their free breakfasts

193
00:07:20,759 --> 00:07:24,262
and meditation rooms,
and all the tape in the world.

194
00:07:24,296 --> 00:07:26,264
Well, I guess we could go buy some.

195
00:07:26,298 --> 00:07:28,900
Or we make like government workers

196
00:07:28,934 --> 00:07:30,401
and get resourceful.

197
00:07:30,436 --> 00:07:32,003
This is an opportunity for you to learn

198
00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:34,172
how things get done around here, ma'am.

199
00:07:34,206 --> 00:07:35,773
Let me show you the ropes.

200
00:07:35,808 --> 00:07:38,443
Well, I don't want
to waste your whole day.

201
00:07:38,477 --> 00:07:40,144
Waste? Hey, I'm here to help you.

202
00:07:40,179 --> 00:07:42,480
And I know a guy
who might just have some tape.

203
00:07:42,515 --> 00:07:45,483
Double sided. The good stuff.

204
00:07:45,518 --> 00:07:48,419
I'm not sure why you think
I'd have double-sided tape.

205
00:07:48,454 --> 00:07:50,255
I'm just a normal guy.

206
00:07:53,158 --> 00:07:54,759
Well, sorry to waste your time, Herb.

207
00:07:54,793 --> 00:07:56,194
Let's go, Ms. Shaw.

208
00:07:56,228 --> 00:07:58,997
However, perhaps I could find some.

209
00:07:59,031 --> 00:08:02,333
I don't know where,
just off the top of my head.

210
00:08:02,368 --> 00:08:05,637
I mean, not there. What?

211
00:08:05,671 --> 00:08:08,473
But you need to do me a favor first.

212
00:08:08,499 --> 00:08:10,033
I'm not letting you draw me again.

213
00:08:10,075 --> 00:08:13,411
My council parking
placard was revoked recently.

214
00:08:13,445 --> 00:08:14,746
Yes, I parked at a fire hydrant

215
00:08:14,780 --> 00:08:16,681
so I could run into the drugstore,

216
00:08:16,715 --> 00:08:19,851
but that's only because
if my mistress gets pregnant,

217
00:08:19,885 --> 00:08:22,053
that would affect my work for the city.

218
00:08:22,087 --> 00:08:23,955
Preaching to the choir, Councilman.

219
00:08:23,989 --> 00:08:27,959
So if you could arrange
for the return of my placard,

220
00:08:27,993 --> 00:08:30,261
I might just be able to secure

221
00:08:30,296 --> 00:08:33,064
some very sticky tape for you.

222
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,235
We've been meme'd. Hard.

223
00:08:37,269 --> 00:08:39,671
You just got a targeted ad
for a pillow with a heartbeat?

224
00:08:39,705 --> 00:08:40,939
Okay, that's private, Tommy.

225
00:08:40,973 --> 00:08:42,707
Well, do you think I wanted to see it?

226
00:08:42,741 --> 00:08:44,609
You guys, I'm loving the banter.

227
00:08:44,643 --> 00:08:47,211
Sir, why did you do that with the pizza?

228
00:08:47,246 --> 00:08:49,414
Why are you guys so serious?

229
00:08:49,448 --> 00:08:51,616
I'm in a good mood now.

230
00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:54,819
- Oh my God.
- Wink.

231
00:08:54,853 --> 00:08:56,621
Wait, Mr. Mayor,
back at the weed dispensary...

232
00:08:56,655 --> 00:09:00,024
I got a bear. Then I ate a bear.

233
00:09:01,727 --> 00:09:04,095
Hey, I just want to say,
it was really cool

234
00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:07,665
meeting someone as tall as you,
so feel free to partake.

235
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,267
I haven't smoked in years.

236
00:09:09,301 --> 00:09:12,103
You don't have to smoke, man.

237
00:09:12,129 --> 00:09:14,534
They're edibles, you just eat them.

238
00:09:14,632 --> 00:09:16,833
An hour later, you'll forget
all about the backstabbing

239
00:09:16,876 --> 00:09:18,776
in the unicycle community.

240
00:09:20,588 --> 00:09:22,723
It would've been rude if I'd said no.

241
00:09:22,748 --> 00:09:24,849
But you didn't need
to actually eat one of them.

242
00:09:24,884 --> 00:09:26,484
Yes, I did.

243
00:09:26,519 --> 00:09:29,888
'Cause you guys keep dragging
me all over town for nothing.

244
00:09:29,922 --> 00:09:31,389
So yeah.

245
00:09:31,423 --> 00:09:33,958
Oh, come on.
It was just a couple of bears.

246
00:09:33,993 --> 00:09:35,760
Whoever got hurt by bears?

247
00:09:35,794 --> 00:09:37,362
Well, when my aunt was having her

248
00:09:37,396 --> 00:09:39,197
last-ever period,
she went to the woods...

249
00:09:39,231 --> 00:09:41,466
Sir, what do you mean,
a couple of bears?

250
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:43,635
Shh-shh, Tommy will get mad.

251
00:09:43,669 --> 00:09:47,472
Oh wait, I just... I did that...

252
00:09:48,774 --> 00:09:51,910
It's funny you ask about placards, Arpi.

253
00:09:51,944 --> 00:09:54,612
Because my brother-in-law
is the DOT liaison

254
00:09:54,647 --> 00:09:57,448
with the L.A.P.D.
traffic coordination section.

255
00:09:57,483 --> 00:10:00,018
Huh. What do you know?

256
00:10:00,052 --> 00:10:03,254
And hey, if there's anything
the chief of staff

257
00:10:03,289 --> 00:10:05,390
and I can do in return...

258
00:10:05,424 --> 00:10:07,325
Look, the mayor's office

259
00:10:07,359 --> 00:10:09,327
issues an official proclamation

260
00:10:09,361 --> 00:10:11,462
for pretty much every day of the year.

261
00:10:11,497 --> 00:10:12,664
Yes, sir, today I believe

262
00:10:12,698 --> 00:10:15,333
is Ugly Nanny Day here in Los Angeles.

263
00:10:15,367 --> 00:10:17,235
Well, my twin daughters...

264
00:10:17,269 --> 00:10:19,504
Cameron and Sophie. Lovely girls.

265
00:10:19,538 --> 00:10:21,706
Well, thank you. They turn 16 in May.

266
00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:24,409
My ex-wife's new husband
works for Disney.

267
00:10:24,443 --> 00:10:27,078
So every birthday,
I get my ass handed to me.

268
00:10:27,112 --> 00:10:29,647
Last year, they got to melt Olaf.

269
00:10:29,682 --> 00:10:31,215
Divorce is toughest on the dads.

270
00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:33,885
But this year, I'm going to bury Kevin.

271
00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:35,653
I want the twins' birthdays,

272
00:10:35,688 --> 00:10:38,489
May 5th, to be declared
Sophie and Cameron Higbee day.

273
00:10:38,524 --> 00:10:40,525
Well, that's something

274
00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:43,027
the mayor's office
would have to approve.

275
00:10:43,062 --> 00:10:44,796
Absolutely.

276
00:10:44,830 --> 00:10:46,598
Arpi, why don't we spend the afternoon

277
00:10:46,632 --> 00:10:49,400
getting the proc language just right.

278
00:10:49,435 --> 00:10:51,769
Frank, tell us about your daughters.

279
00:10:51,804 --> 00:10:53,371
Wonderful.

280
00:10:53,405 --> 00:10:55,607
For starters,
the divorce was their fault.

281
00:10:55,641 --> 00:10:57,809
That's one hell of a proclamation.

282
00:10:57,843 --> 00:11:01,746
Now, let's get the mayor's
Jane Hancock on this.

283
00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:04,115
Feminism.

284
00:11:04,149 --> 00:11:05,850
Look, I don't want this to take

285
00:11:05,884 --> 00:11:09,120
any longer than it needs to,
but before we use the AutoPen,

286
00:11:09,154 --> 00:11:11,122
I should probably call the mayor.

287
00:11:11,156 --> 00:11:13,358
Sure thing. Due diligence.

288
00:11:13,392 --> 00:11:15,593
I'll just be over here
doing my stretches.

289
00:11:19,798 --> 00:11:22,400
Guys, guys, guys.
It's Mikaela from work.

290
00:11:22,434 --> 00:11:25,036
Act like we're not high.

291
00:11:25,070 --> 00:11:27,405
- Hello, Officer.
- Sir, it's Mikaela.

292
00:11:27,439 --> 00:11:29,741
I just wanted to let you
know that Arpi and I...

293
00:11:29,775 --> 00:11:32,410
- Hello, sir.
- Have been together all day...

294
00:11:32,444 --> 00:11:33,778
Haven't even bathroomed.

295
00:11:33,812 --> 00:11:35,446
And right now, we were wondering

296
00:11:35,481 --> 00:11:38,049
if we can maybe use the AutoPen to make

297
00:11:38,083 --> 00:11:40,852
next May 5th Sophie
and Cameron Higbee Day?

298
00:11:40,886 --> 00:11:44,088
That sounds amazing.
Hey. We should meet up.

299
00:11:44,123 --> 00:11:46,591
Wherever we are in our lives,
we should be together

300
00:11:46,625 --> 00:11:49,360
for Sophie and Cameron Higbee Day.

301
00:11:49,395 --> 00:11:51,396
Okay? Love you.

302
00:11:55,034 --> 00:11:57,669
Sir, maybe we should go ahead
and cancel our next stop.

303
00:11:57,703 --> 00:12:00,605
No, no, no, come on.
Look at me. I can maintain.

304
00:12:00,639 --> 00:12:04,976
I've been maintaining
on real pot since...

305
00:12:05,010 --> 00:12:06,444
since before your parents

306
00:12:06,478 --> 00:12:08,012
even thought about having a child.

307
00:12:08,047 --> 00:12:10,548
Thought about? I was an accident, sir.

308
00:12:10,582 --> 00:12:11,883
Mr. Mayor, I'm not a drug expert.

309
00:12:11,917 --> 00:12:14,519
But according to a "Fresh Air"
interview with Calvin Broadus,

310
00:12:14,553 --> 00:12:18,456
aka Snoop Dogg, quote,
"That bleep be strong now.

311
00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:21,392
Your body be like, what?
That bleep go hard."

312
00:12:21,427 --> 00:12:23,127
It's not like it was in the '70s, sir.

313
00:12:23,162 --> 00:12:24,696
Tommy, I'm good.

314
00:12:24,730 --> 00:12:27,198
I'm actually enjoying
this boring pointless day now.

315
00:12:27,232 --> 00:12:29,600
In fact, what's next on my schedule?

316
00:12:29,635 --> 00:12:32,937
Opening a community center.
That's going to be fun.

317
00:12:32,971 --> 00:12:36,040
Really. Pot almost never
makes me paranoid.

318
00:12:36,075 --> 00:12:38,643
And helping Mayor Bremer
cut the ribbon today,

319
00:12:38,677 --> 00:12:41,846
the L.A. King's mascot, Bailey the Lion.

320
00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:46,384
What the hell is that thing?

321
00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:49,487
It can fly?

322
00:12:51,256 --> 00:12:54,225
Get the... get... He's got two swords.

323
00:12:56,261 --> 00:12:58,129
- Oh, no, no.
- No, no, no...

324
00:12:58,163 --> 00:13:00,164
Fly back to hell!

325
00:13:02,568 --> 00:13:05,169
What? What are you looking at?

326
00:13:05,204 --> 00:13:06,637
No!

327
00:13:08,028 --> 00:13:11,062
May 5, 2021 is now officially

328
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,460
Sophie and Cameron Higbee Day.

329
00:13:13,523 --> 00:13:15,157
Now, the one little hiccup

330
00:13:15,182 --> 00:13:18,900
is that May 5th is also Cinco de Mayo.

331
00:13:18,925 --> 00:13:21,533
And the Mexican community
understandably expects

332
00:13:21,558 --> 00:13:24,466
the proclamation for that day
to be honoring them.

333
00:13:24,505 --> 00:13:25,638
I see.

334
00:13:25,673 --> 00:13:28,403
So if the girls are going
to get their proclamation...

335
00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:30,043
We have to move Cinco de Mayo.

336
00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:33,046
Sounds time consuming
and probably impossible.

337
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,714
Let's do it.

338
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:37,016
That's the City Hall spirit.

339
00:13:37,051 --> 00:13:38,284
Andale!

340
00:13:39,353 --> 00:13:43,056
You want me to move Cinco de Mayo.

341
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:45,024
Ocho de Mayo is wide open, Maria.

342
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,328
Look, I would be willing

343
00:13:48,362 --> 00:13:50,964
to make some calls on your behalf, if...

344
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,867
Ah! I love that word. Go on.

345
00:13:54,735 --> 00:13:57,403
Are you aware of
the bathroom situation up here?

346
00:13:57,438 --> 00:14:00,173
Besides me, this floor houses
the Mayor's Commission

347
00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:01,908
on Gender Equity and Brunch,

348
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:04,210
the Health Department's Office
for Yogurt Safety,

349
00:14:04,245 --> 00:14:07,080
and someone rented space
to an Ann Taylor Loft.

350
00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:10,450
It's all women. With one bathroom.

351
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:13,520
I can't take it.

352
00:14:13,554 --> 00:14:16,089
Sometimes people just leave
their tights in there.

353
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:19,626
Why? What happened to them?

354
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:24,531
I think we can help you, Councilwoman.

355
00:14:54,128 --> 00:14:58,031
Let's see. Tape, right?
Do I have any tape?

356
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:02,335
Tape. Tape, tape.

357
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,003
That's not tape.

358
00:15:05,773 --> 00:15:08,741
Tape, tape... here we go.

359
00:15:08,776 --> 00:15:11,578
Regular old tape.

360
00:15:22,456 --> 00:15:24,591
Why is the sun following us?

361
00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:26,059
This is bad.

362
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,228
We cannot cancel our next meeting.

363
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:30,196
It's a work safety forum with local 300,

364
00:15:30,231 --> 00:15:32,298
and you do not stand up
the construction unions.

365
00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:33,633
But the good news, sir,

366
00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:35,235
is at least your current state of mind

367
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,669
is appropriate for this.

368
00:15:36,704 --> 00:15:39,339
All you really need to do
is listen and act concerned.

369
00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:42,342
I am concerned. About everything.

370
00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:45,511
I mean, this dumb day
should have been easy as pie.

371
00:15:45,546 --> 00:15:48,956
But everything's all goofed. Goofed.

372
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:50,683
Okay, let's use that.

373
00:15:50,726 --> 00:15:52,560
Let's say I'm a construction worker.

374
00:15:52,586 --> 00:15:54,187
And I'm telling you how worried I am

375
00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:57,023
about unsafe scaffolding
around business sites.

376
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,726
Oh, that's awful. Those poor sites.

377
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:00,560
Oh, good, good, good.

378
00:16:00,594 --> 00:16:03,263
It's my turn. It's Bob's birthday.

379
00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:04,998
While he helps Farmer Pickles,

380
00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:06,899
let's plan a surprise party.

381
00:16:06,934 --> 00:16:08,368
Was that Bob the Builder?

382
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,636
I'm just doing what you're doing.

383
00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:12,338
Oh, God I forgot Bob's birthday.

384
00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:17,377
This is all very concerning.

385
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:19,746
I do not like this.

386
00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:24,217
Oh, you poor, poor man. Are you Bob?

387
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,885
- My name is Manny Petty, sir.
- Oh.

388
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:27,220
I was working
with unlabeled chemicals...

389
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,722
- Your name is what?
- Manny Petty.

390
00:16:29,757 --> 00:16:31,824
My hands and feet got
burned when I was working...

391
00:16:34,695 --> 00:16:37,196
Of course, your hands and feet...

392
00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:39,932
You're Manny Petty!

393
00:16:39,967 --> 00:16:43,870
Hey, his name is Manny Petty.

394
00:16:43,904 --> 00:16:45,405
And look what got hurt!

395
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:47,440
Oh, my God, you're so funny.

396
00:16:54,365 --> 00:16:57,299
Looking good. We did it, boss.

397
00:16:57,380 --> 00:16:59,414
Yeah, but I feel bad.

398
00:16:59,512 --> 00:17:00,879
I wasted your whole day on this.

399
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:04,382
How much do you charge
for babysitting anyway?

400
00:17:04,417 --> 00:17:06,090
I'm sorry, what?

401
00:17:06,115 --> 00:17:08,012
You babysat me all day.
That was your job, right?

402
00:17:08,043 --> 00:17:10,187
I-I...

403
00:17:10,221 --> 00:17:12,055
I don't even know
what you're talking about.

404
00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:13,557
Oh, save it.

405
00:17:13,591 --> 00:17:15,992
If the mayor didn't
ask you to keep an eye on me,

406
00:17:16,027 --> 00:17:18,328
he's even dumber than I thought.

407
00:17:18,362 --> 00:17:20,864
Fine. Well, it worked, didn't it?

408
00:17:20,898 --> 00:17:23,867
I kept you busy all day.

409
00:17:23,901 --> 00:17:25,268
Is that what you think happened?

410
00:17:25,303 --> 00:17:27,771
- Mm-hmm.
- That's real cute.

411
00:17:27,805 --> 00:17:31,975
'Cause all anyone else saw was
me helping the chief of staff,

412
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,510
the woman who speaks for the mayor.

413
00:17:33,544 --> 00:17:34,578
Mm-hmm.

414
00:17:34,612 --> 00:17:36,780
And since Arpi Meskimen
does not waste her time,

415
00:17:36,814 --> 00:17:39,216
they know I'm getting
something in return.

416
00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:42,519
What have I been trying
to make happen for months?

417
00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:58,335
PPPORN.

418
00:17:58,369 --> 00:17:59,503
Wait, so you're telling me

419
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:01,304
that everyone we talked to today,

420
00:18:01,339 --> 00:18:03,773
they all think that
the mayor supports PPPORN?

421
00:18:03,808 --> 00:18:06,109
Herb, Frank, Maria.
They were the three hold-outs

422
00:18:06,144 --> 00:18:08,378
keeping PPPORN from passing the council,

423
00:18:08,412 --> 00:18:10,614
but all three have pledged their support

424
00:18:10,648 --> 00:18:13,450
now that the mayor
is so obviously onboard.

425
00:18:13,484 --> 00:18:16,620
Now who's the baby, Ms. Shaw?

426
00:18:16,654 --> 00:18:19,623
Yeah. You going to want
to say goo-goo-gah-gah.

427
00:18:19,657 --> 00:18:21,458
I'll tell the mayor.

428
00:18:21,492 --> 00:18:22,826
Let's think about that for a second.

429
00:18:22,860 --> 00:18:25,762
You're gonna tell your boss
that the first time

430
00:18:25,796 --> 00:18:29,432
he left you alone here,
you got played like a garawon?

431
00:18:30,134 --> 00:18:33,336
That's a traditional Honduran
drum I play at night to relax.

432
00:18:33,371 --> 00:18:35,639
Look, it's not so bad.

433
00:18:35,673 --> 00:18:38,408
PPPORN is the right thing to do.

434
00:18:38,442 --> 00:18:41,311
- Oh.
- Take the win.

435
00:18:41,345 --> 00:18:43,547
Go home. Open a bag of wine.

436
00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:47,083
And wake up, ready for another big day.

437
00:18:48,452 --> 00:18:50,053
I told you this morning
I was going to show you

438
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,255
how things worked around here.

439
00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:54,291
So you're welcome, boss.

440
00:19:04,502 --> 00:19:07,204
- Oh, damn it.
- How was your day, Mr. Mayor?

441
00:19:07,238 --> 00:19:08,405
What are you doing here?

442
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:10,674
You're on my way home.

443
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:14,578
I head down Highland
before I bike onto the freeway.

444
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:17,247
Arpi, I've had a rough day.

445
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:20,517
So I heard.
But all that dumb stuff today?

446
00:19:20,551 --> 00:19:22,686
People showed up 'cause
you were going to be there.

447
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,355
And I made Manny Petty's wife cry.

448
00:19:25,389 --> 00:19:26,656
Manny Petty?

449
00:19:26,691 --> 00:19:28,191
- Mm.
- That's hilarious.

450
00:19:30,728 --> 00:19:33,330
I get it, I get it.

451
00:19:33,364 --> 00:19:35,699
I just want to do all the shiny stuff,

452
00:19:35,733 --> 00:19:37,000
be a hero.

453
00:19:37,034 --> 00:19:39,269
But I'm the mayor.

454
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:43,540
And all that dumb stuff
matters to someone.

455
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:48,245
Now, those people

456
00:19:48,279 --> 00:19:50,714
are going to be expecting a statement.

457
00:19:50,748 --> 00:19:52,849
And I'm not looking to help you,

458
00:19:52,883 --> 00:19:54,985
but if you don't want to talk about

459
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,854
how you fell into
an open dog grave today...

460
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,658
Mikaela signed off on it.

461
00:20:01,692 --> 00:20:04,327
What?

462
00:20:04,362 --> 00:20:06,463
I'm changing the name.

463
00:20:08,065 --> 00:20:11,468
Which is why I'm proud
to announce a new initiative...

464
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:15,105
Rerouting air traffic for at-risk towns.

465
00:20:15,139 --> 00:20:17,274
Or... RATFART.

466
00:20:17,308 --> 00:20:19,142
Damn it.

467
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:22,746
Sorry. Sorry.

468
00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:24,714
Stupid, stupid day.

469
00:20:24,749 --> 00:20:27,050
Sir, did you say "rat fart"?

470
00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:31,588
Oh, there you are.

471
00:20:31,622 --> 00:20:34,858
Oh no, please, please don't.
I've had a long day.

472
00:20:37,428 --> 00:20:41,031
You made grilled cheese.

473
00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:42,399
Is this a trap?

474
00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:44,768
No. I feel bad.

475
00:20:44,802 --> 00:20:47,170
They don't get to yell at my dad.

476
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:49,606
Only I get to yell at my dad.

477
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,975
Works for me.

478
00:20:58,082 --> 00:21:00,016
...after returning home
from Afghanistan,

479
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:02,018
all Sergeant Cusack wanted to do

480
00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:03,186
was surprise his daughter

481
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,288
dressed as her favorite mascot.

482
00:21:07,825 --> 00:21:10,260
It's okay.

483
00:21:11,262 --> 00:21:13,720
Could I maybe have a glass of wine?

484
00:21:13,783 --> 00:21:18,783
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
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