1 00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:22,023 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 2 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:28,460 _ 3 00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:35,909 Morning, Billy. 4 00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:48,673 I got Oxy, Vicodin, Percocet, 5 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,968 Xanax, Adderall, morphine, and Valium. 6 00:00:52,009 --> 00:00:55,185 Five bucks a pill, less if you buy in bulk. 7 00:00:55,357 --> 00:00:56,860 No, no, no, no. If I can't buy my 8 00:00:56,885 --> 00:00:58,891 girlfriend's mom drinks, what good am I? 9 00:00:58,916 --> 00:01:00,381 No damn good. 10 00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:03,396 - What do you call that? - Death. Bottoms up. 11 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:05,185 - Cheers. - Cheers. 12 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,067 Motherfucker. 13 00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:09,762 _ 14 00:01:11,111 --> 00:01:12,739 Oh, shit. 15 00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:14,991 Hey. 16 00:01:20,591 --> 00:01:21,873 Aah! 17 00:01:26,335 --> 00:01:27,420 Gah! 18 00:01:28,796 --> 00:01:30,256 Should we try to stop them? 19 00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:31,483 Not until some clothes come off. 20 00:01:31,507 --> 00:01:32,801 Lenny, what the fuck, man? 21 00:01:32,841 --> 00:01:34,426 This isn't a litter box. 22 00:01:34,468 --> 00:01:35,653 Where did you dump the asbestos? 23 00:01:35,677 --> 00:01:36,929 You know what? You know what? 24 00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:38,282 Don't tell me. It's better that I don't know. 25 00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:39,866 How many mamas we know in the hood 26 00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:41,684 still feeding their babies titty milk? 27 00:01:41,709 --> 00:01:44,020 Whoa, no IV drugs. Pump it pure. 28 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,354 Where's the keg? 29 00:01:45,395 --> 00:01:47,342 A little early to be drinking, isn't it? 30 00:01:50,734 --> 00:01:52,402 A tough night for the new liver. 31 00:01:52,444 --> 00:01:54,280 How much you give me... for this? 32 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,032 Take him back right now, man. 33 00:01:57,074 --> 00:01:58,971 We left Billy here last night? 34 00:01:59,042 --> 00:02:00,962 I'm sorry about that, buddy. 35 00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:04,497 Oh, my God, he's dead. I touched a dead guy. 36 00:02:04,521 --> 00:02:07,104 _ 37 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:16,510 Whoo-ee! 38 00:02:16,552 --> 00:02:18,065 Shift change. 39 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,893 Russian hour is over. 40 00:02:20,081 --> 00:02:21,431 It's Kentucky time. 41 00:02:21,473 --> 00:02:23,476 Ladies and gentlemen, 42 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:26,479 announcing the latest addition to the Ball family, 43 00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:27,913 Amy and Gemma! 44 00:02:27,938 --> 00:02:30,191 Oh, nice! 45 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,151 Why do you drink 46 00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,652 To get drunk! 47 00:02:33,694 --> 00:02:37,365 - And why do you all smoke - To get high! 48 00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,451 Now everybody 49 00:02:42,469 --> 00:02:43,721 Have you heard 50 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:46,498 All right, place your bets. Thank you. 51 00:02:46,951 --> 00:02:47,809 Nine... 52 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,082 - Thirty, thirty-one... - Uh-oh. 53 00:02:50,107 --> 00:02:51,336 Thirty-two... 54 00:02:51,378 --> 00:02:53,715 Oh! 55 00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,254 Do it! 56 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:00,823 You may kiss the bride. 57 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:01,972 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 58 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,019 Yeah! 59 00:03:08,060 --> 00:03:09,488 _ 60 00:03:10,379 --> 00:03:11,590 _ 61 00:03:12,989 --> 00:03:14,989 _ 62 00:03:16,236 --> 00:03:17,864 Do you wanna open a whorehouse? 63 00:03:17,889 --> 00:03:19,681 No, of course not. 64 00:03:20,231 --> 00:03:21,283 Just a rub and tug. 65 00:03:21,325 --> 00:03:23,328 Just wanna know if you, uh... 66 00:03:23,517 --> 00:03:24,746 want a hand job. 67 00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:28,457 Hey, hand me my phone, would you? 68 00:03:28,498 --> 00:03:31,419 Might wanna toss that minnow back into the lake, Lorenzo. 69 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:34,254 Holy shit, look at the hog on Stan. 70 00:03:34,296 --> 00:03:35,715 I've heard rumors about that thing. 71 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,234 What's he doing with the belt around his neck 72 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:38,383 while he's taking a piss? 73 00:03:38,425 --> 00:03:39,593 He was jacking off, Kev. 74 00:03:39,635 --> 00:03:41,235 And strangling himself at the same time. 75 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:42,472 Why? 76 00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:43,472 'Cause it feels good. 77 00:03:59,071 --> 00:04:01,429 Oh 78 00:04:01,961 --> 00:04:03,671 You said we were all doing the full Monty. 79 00:04:08,121 --> 00:04:09,100 Out. 80 00:04:14,264 --> 00:04:17,022 _ 81 00:04:17,047 --> 00:04:19,342 City of Chicago says 82 00:04:19,367 --> 00:04:21,264 all bars are closed until further notice. 83 00:04:21,289 --> 00:04:22,738 Go, go, go! 84 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,106 Hide in the back. This is what we practiced. 85 00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:25,931 We are absolutely complying 86 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,454 with the mayor's very smart decision 87 00:04:28,479 --> 00:04:31,147 to close all bars and taverns. 88 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:35,441 - What the fuck, Kev? - Oh, my... come on. 89 00:04:35,482 --> 00:04:37,652 Hail, 'rona survivors! What? 90 00:04:37,693 --> 00:04:38,695 Where is everyone? 91 00:04:38,719 --> 00:04:41,464 _ 92 00:04:45,475 --> 00:04:46,851 It's our parent-teacher call, Kev. 93 00:04:46,876 --> 00:04:48,103 Okay, be right there. 94 00:04:49,517 --> 00:04:51,873 Okay, girls. Breakfast of champions. 95 00:04:52,337 --> 00:04:54,009 Have a good day at school. 96 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:56,128 - Kev! - Coming. 97 00:04:57,845 --> 00:04:59,940 Hi, Mrs. Cardenas. How's it going? 98 00:05:00,119 --> 00:05:02,398 Good morning, Kev. I was just telling Veronica... 99 00:05:02,423 --> 00:05:04,320 Amy is smart and Gemma's a dumbass. 100 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:05,547 - What? - I didn't say it 101 00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:08,140 exactly like that, but... yes. 102 00:05:08,196 --> 00:05:10,325 Gemma's been falling behind in her schoolwork. 103 00:05:10,373 --> 00:05:12,500 There's schoolwork in kindergarten? 104 00:05:15,009 --> 00:05:16,732 Gemma's been logging off the Zoom call 105 00:05:16,757 --> 00:05:18,218 right after I take attendance. 106 00:05:18,243 --> 00:05:19,286 That's genius. 107 00:05:19,359 --> 00:05:21,070 - Kev. - That's wrong. 108 00:05:21,095 --> 00:05:23,055 Wrong, wrong, wrong. 109 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,866 Is she watching a YouTube video? 110 00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,034 Looks that way from here. 111 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,451 Children this age, most parents 112 00:05:27,476 --> 00:05:29,194 stay on the Zoom call with their kids. 113 00:05:29,219 --> 00:05:30,471 The whole time? 114 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,164 That's, like, six hours of our day. 115 00:05:32,705 --> 00:05:34,792 If you want Gemma to keep up with the other children, 116 00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:37,376 I suggest you participate in her education. 117 00:05:39,345 --> 00:05:42,008 What work could they possibly have? It's kindergarten. 118 00:05:42,150 --> 00:05:43,901 - This is all my fault. - What is? 119 00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:45,470 Why Gemma's dumb. 120 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,032 It's my eggs. I wasn't supposed to have kids 121 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,447 in the first place. 122 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:52,727 I think we should have our own kid. 123 00:05:52,768 --> 00:05:53,936 Could we start right now? 124 00:05:56,113 --> 00:05:57,673 Veronica... 125 00:05:57,698 --> 00:05:59,775 I got 20 minutes left on my break. 126 00:05:59,832 --> 00:06:01,084 That should give us enough time 127 00:06:01,109 --> 00:06:03,195 to go three times, easy. 128 00:06:03,236 --> 00:06:04,321 Just... hey. 129 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,989 It's okay. I'll do all the work. 130 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,450 - Maybe later. - Oh, come on. 131 00:06:07,491 --> 00:06:08,961 The best part about making a baby 132 00:06:08,986 --> 00:06:11,203 is you get to have sex while we're doing it. 133 00:06:11,244 --> 00:06:14,039 I need to know the truth. Can I have a damn baby or not? 134 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:17,794 You have a 99.999 chance of not getting pregnant. 135 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,092 So I'll just be carrying it, 136 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,973 and you two take it from me when it comes out? 137 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,387 - Yes, Mom. - 'Cause Lord knows 138 00:06:27,412 --> 00:06:29,664 I am too old to be raising an infant. 139 00:06:31,969 --> 00:06:32,933 Not much in there. 140 00:06:32,974 --> 00:06:34,468 We could've used an eyedropper. 141 00:06:34,493 --> 00:06:35,827 Jeez, Kevin. 142 00:06:38,809 --> 00:06:40,211 Bottoms up. 143 00:06:46,196 --> 00:06:47,948 Are you out of your fucking mind? 144 00:06:47,989 --> 00:06:49,575 Kev is just gonna lie down with you 145 00:06:49,616 --> 00:06:51,076 for procreation, not sex. 146 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,244 What is the difference? 147 00:06:52,285 --> 00:06:53,955 It's clinical, so no one enjoys it. 148 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,582 Millions of sperm died in that turkey baster. 149 00:06:56,623 --> 00:06:58,792 Uh-uh, no. Honey, this is an express bus 150 00:06:58,817 --> 00:07:00,276 to The Maury Povich Show. 151 00:07:00,335 --> 00:07:02,587 What kind of hard liquor you got, and how much? 152 00:07:02,629 --> 00:07:03,732 Okay, let's get this going. 153 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:06,719 Knock it off, Mama. 154 00:07:07,092 --> 00:07:08,361 Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 155 00:07:08,385 --> 00:07:10,179 W-what's with the KKK costume? 156 00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:11,638 I saw them use something like this 157 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:12,765 at that super-Jewy wedding 158 00:07:12,806 --> 00:07:13,933 I went to last year. 159 00:07:13,974 --> 00:07:15,475 It keeps the skin from touching, 160 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:16,977 acts as a barrier. 161 00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:19,497 I feel like a ghost prostitute. 162 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,816 Why she didn't cut me a mouth hole. 163 00:07:21,857 --> 00:07:25,277 How am I supposed to... whoa! Hello. 164 00:07:25,334 --> 00:07:28,046 Looks like I got a visitor down there. 165 00:07:28,071 --> 00:07:29,174 Can I take this off my face? 166 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:30,991 No! No! 167 00:07:31,032 --> 00:07:32,885 How many more times are we gonna have to do this? 168 00:07:32,909 --> 00:07:34,369 Until we complete the mission. 169 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:36,998 You're Luke Skywalker, and it's up to you 170 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,958 to shoot one in and destroy the Death Star. 171 00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:44,296 N-n-no, not there. No. 172 00:07:44,337 --> 00:07:45,465 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 173 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,174 You-you got a-a shoehorn or something? 174 00:07:47,215 --> 00:07:49,556 Can you not talk, please? Just don't say a word. 175 00:07:51,618 --> 00:07:54,056 - Come on, you piece of shit! - Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 176 00:07:55,929 --> 00:07:58,330 - Mama, get on it. - Mm. 177 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,397 Oh! Ah! 178 00:08:02,355 --> 00:08:03,608 Oh, man. 179 00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:05,051 Hold that thought. Mom! 180 00:08:05,076 --> 00:08:06,452 Jump in between us. Hurry up. 181 00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:08,778 Oh, yeah, that's it. 182 00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:10,489 Ooh, yeah, that's it. 183 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:11,574 Ooh, bring it home. 184 00:08:11,615 --> 00:08:13,493 Bring it home, baby. Ooh! 185 00:08:15,076 --> 00:08:16,495 Stop, stop. 186 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:18,748 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 187 00:08:18,788 --> 00:08:20,208 Stop! 188 00:08:20,248 --> 00:08:22,375 You people wanna have a baby? Beautiful. 189 00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:23,835 Find another way to do it. 190 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,339 I can't be working under these conditions. 191 00:08:26,832 --> 00:08:28,173 All right, we'll call you. 192 00:08:28,215 --> 00:08:29,508 _ 193 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,680 Oh, flex. 194 00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:35,848 Flex. 195 00:08:47,317 --> 00:08:48,777 You gotta be shitting me. 196 00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:50,153 Attention, people! 197 00:08:50,195 --> 00:08:51,821 Kevin is gonna be a daddy! 198 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,410 Really? 199 00:08:56,451 --> 00:08:58,162 Look at the stick, people! 200 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,038 Beware. For the rest of the night, 201 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,209 I am stirring cocktails with this stick. 202 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,588 You are doing amazing, honey. 203 00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:09,136 - How would you know? - Because you're making 204 00:09:09,161 --> 00:09:11,050 all the right sounds. Remember that birthing video 205 00:09:11,075 --> 00:09:13,118 with the chick making all the buffalo noises? 206 00:09:13,176 --> 00:09:14,887 You're totally making those noises. 207 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,098 Would you like to stand around here with us? 208 00:09:17,138 --> 00:09:18,306 No, I'm good. 209 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:19,432 You don't wanna watch? 210 00:09:19,474 --> 00:09:21,060 Oh, honey, I was over there earlier, 211 00:09:21,101 --> 00:09:24,312 and I saw some... hardcore shit, like, horror movie shit. 212 00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:27,399 No, I'm gonna stay with you. 213 00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:29,402 Nnh! I am so sorry I can't help. 214 00:09:29,442 --> 00:09:30,729 I'm useless at this. 215 00:09:30,754 --> 00:09:32,796 You know, Tommy says that in some cultures, 216 00:09:32,821 --> 00:09:34,947 men aren't even allowed near the birth, 217 00:09:34,972 --> 00:09:36,843 just a bunch of women in tents, which makes sense, 218 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:38,177 because I would be so much more useful 219 00:09:38,201 --> 00:09:39,513 if I was out hunting moose or something. 220 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,931 Ooh, shut up. Shut the fuck up, Kevin. 221 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,224 - Please shut the fuck up. - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 222 00:09:43,248 --> 00:09:44,458 The nurses just left them here 223 00:09:44,499 --> 00:09:46,090 like we know what the fuck we're doing. 224 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:48,713 This is Amy, and that's Gemma. 225 00:09:48,753 --> 00:09:50,393 Right, now, uh, tell me again. 226 00:09:50,418 --> 00:09:52,465 Um, this one's Amy. 227 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,384 Uh... I think so. 228 00:09:54,426 --> 00:09:55,802 I mean, I know their names. 229 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,095 I'm just not 100 percent yet 230 00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,263 on which one is which. 231 00:10:09,566 --> 00:10:11,277 This is not your fault, V. 232 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,527 Gemma is not dumb. 233 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,462 Mrs. Cardenas has no idea what she's talking about. 234 00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:22,055 Is she drawing on her face? 235 00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:27,460 If Gemma were in real school, 236 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:28,931 this wouldn't even be an issue. 237 00:10:29,736 --> 00:10:31,129 How the hell is anybody 238 00:10:31,171 --> 00:10:32,648 supposed to learn anything on a damn iPad? 239 00:10:32,672 --> 00:10:34,525 She doesn't even have to go to kindergarten. 240 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,134 It's not like it's a law or something. 241 00:10:36,176 --> 00:10:38,303 Yeah, but I don't want her to fall behind. 242 00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:39,805 Okay, fine. 243 00:10:40,019 --> 00:10:42,517 You home-school Gemma. You're a smarty-pants. 244 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,728 _ 245 00:10:45,769 --> 00:10:47,187 Wait, so you're a nurse, Veronica? 246 00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,415 - Used to be. - Lying bitch. 247 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,191 Fine... but I was offered a place 248 00:10:50,231 --> 00:10:51,691 in the nursing school. 249 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,360 Fine, but it never happened. 250 00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:55,863 They fired her for selling medical supplies on eBay. 251 00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:57,782 Holy crap. 252 00:10:57,822 --> 00:10:59,032 I'm a ghetto nurse. 253 00:10:59,057 --> 00:11:00,932 Better for folks around here to come to me 254 00:11:01,011 --> 00:11:03,017 than wait 18 hours in the emergency room. 255 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:05,498 No, no! Always elevate extremities. 256 00:11:05,538 --> 00:11:07,333 Move before you give him a fucking embolism. 257 00:11:07,502 --> 00:11:09,752 The nose is the most commonly broken bone 258 00:11:09,793 --> 00:11:12,588 in boys between the ages of 13 and 25. 259 00:11:12,629 --> 00:11:15,049 Uh, that's-that's fascinating, but who's the old dude? 260 00:11:16,274 --> 00:11:17,734 Eww, that's nasty. 261 00:11:17,759 --> 00:11:19,845 Almost looks like shingles. 262 00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:21,180 Scabies, maybe? 263 00:11:21,221 --> 00:11:22,449 Been hiking in the woods lately? 264 00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:23,867 Changing your diet? Does your throat hurt? 265 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,455 - No. - Stress rash. 266 00:11:31,648 --> 00:11:33,234 - V? - Making a video 267 00:11:33,274 --> 00:11:35,402 for one of those do-it-yourself websites online. 268 00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,696 Pays 150 bucks. This one's on a high colonic. 269 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,322 Next week, I bleach my exit ramp. 270 00:11:39,942 --> 00:11:41,867 What do you want? Vicodin, morphine, peyote? 271 00:11:41,908 --> 00:11:43,786 - Tetrodotoxin. - These red ones. 272 00:11:43,827 --> 00:11:45,013 Give me, uh, the horse tranquilizer, 273 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,413 enough to knock out a Clydesdale. 274 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:47,498 This baby is coming. 275 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,083 - Now? - She's crowning. 276 00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:51,311 All right, ambulance is on its way. 277 00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:52,420 When I was having my girls, 278 00:11:52,460 --> 00:11:54,046 the doc told me to do three quick pants 279 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,547 and then one long blow. Okay? 280 00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,841 - I'm gonna do it with you. - Start pushing now, okay? 281 00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,468 Push, push. Push, baby. 282 00:11:59,509 --> 00:12:00,427 Push, push, push. 283 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,387 Ooh. 284 00:12:02,871 --> 00:12:04,431 Is the baby okay? 285 00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:05,974 She's great. 286 00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:07,348 She? 287 00:12:08,616 --> 00:12:09,744 Frederick Douglass. 288 00:12:09,769 --> 00:12:10,913 - Who? - Author, orator, 289 00:12:10,937 --> 00:12:12,190 escaped slave. 290 00:12:12,215 --> 00:12:13,315 The life expectancy 291 00:12:13,356 --> 00:12:16,152 - for an average white man is 76. - Exactly. 292 00:12:16,192 --> 00:12:17,753 For a poor white man from the South Side, 293 00:12:17,777 --> 00:12:19,154 it's 70 if you're lucky. 294 00:12:19,195 --> 00:12:21,322 - Jesus was a blond? - No, Jesus was Black 295 00:12:21,364 --> 00:12:22,575 and had nappy hair, 296 00:12:22,615 --> 00:12:23,759 but no one ever wants to talk about that. 297 00:12:23,783 --> 00:12:25,177 What does this have to do with pickles? 298 00:12:25,201 --> 00:12:26,662 Pickles provide essential vitamins, 299 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,247 minerals, and antioxidants, 300 00:12:28,272 --> 00:12:30,583 improve digestion and liver protection. 301 00:12:30,623 --> 00:12:33,418 Your drug is like a jar of pickles, but better. 302 00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:35,010 How do you know so much about pickles? 303 00:12:35,035 --> 00:12:36,921 - How'd it go? - You are a genius. 304 00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,423 If this one pill had been around 305 00:12:38,465 --> 00:12:40,551 when my daddy was juggling two pills and three jobs, 306 00:12:40,576 --> 00:12:41,819 he would still be here... 307 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,888 to be a grandfather. 308 00:12:43,928 --> 00:12:45,513 Don't cry. Please don't cry. 309 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:46,724 I'm-I'm sorry. 310 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,267 So it's one pill instead of two, huh? 311 00:12:48,308 --> 00:12:49,976 What if you were to, say, 312 00:12:50,018 --> 00:12:52,340 misplace your scrip pad? 313 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,015 All right, ladies. Saddle up. 314 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,542 We're going on a field trip. 315 00:12:57,567 --> 00:13:00,112 Mifepristone. You need an abortion. 316 00:13:00,153 --> 00:13:01,446 Here's my copay. 317 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,133 I'm afraid you're gonna have to pay full price. 318 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,870 Medicare only covers abortion in cases of rape, incest, 319 00:13:05,895 --> 00:13:07,220 or when the mother's life is in danger. 320 00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:08,446 I'm 80 years old. 321 00:13:08,471 --> 00:13:10,222 Having a baby'll probably kill me. 322 00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:11,998 I was raped. 323 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:14,000 - Incest for me. - Me too! 324 00:13:14,042 --> 00:13:15,377 Rape again. 325 00:13:15,418 --> 00:13:17,738 - I was raped too. - Incest too. 326 00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:19,965 Bullshit. I'm not homeschooling her. 327 00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:21,633 - You home-school her. - Fuck that. 328 00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:22,843 I got a bar to run. 329 00:13:23,204 --> 00:13:25,624 You run the bar? I run the bar. 330 00:13:27,238 --> 00:13:28,531 Alibi. Alibi. 331 00:13:28,556 --> 00:13:29,474 Alibi. 332 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:30,684 I gotta go to The Alibi. 333 00:13:30,725 --> 00:13:32,186 Vamoose. I gotta go to the bar. 334 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,340 Who wants a drink? 335 00:13:34,437 --> 00:13:36,760 Come on, V. Free pour it like Kev does. 336 00:13:36,785 --> 00:13:38,399 That's why the bar's losing money. 337 00:13:38,441 --> 00:13:39,652 Gonna take real money, Frank. 338 00:13:39,692 --> 00:13:41,362 Kev's not here for you to confuse. 339 00:13:41,402 --> 00:13:42,363 Uhh... 340 00:13:42,403 --> 00:13:43,781 Drag him to the sober chair. 341 00:13:44,152 --> 00:13:46,200 - Where is everybody? - It's 10 a.m. 342 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,951 Shut up, Billy. Nobody asked you. 343 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,470 All right, you know what? Fuck it. 344 00:13:49,494 --> 00:13:50,704 I'll home-school Gemma. 345 00:13:50,745 --> 00:13:51,955 How hard can it be? 346 00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:54,499 "Learning is knowing a few tricks." 347 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,185 "For example, 348 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,503 to learn the color spectrum, 349 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,840 just remember ROY G. BIV." 350 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,966 "Which stands for red, orange, yellow, green, 351 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,426 blue, indigo, violet." 352 00:14:04,486 --> 00:14:06,070 What the hell is indigo? 353 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,470 Purple. 354 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:08,707 I thought violet was purple. 355 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,932 I-I don't know. 356 00:14:10,974 --> 00:14:12,590 PEMDAS, 357 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,519 which stands for "parentheses, 358 00:14:14,561 --> 00:14:15,955 exponents, multiplication, division, 359 00:14:15,979 --> 00:14:17,629 addition, subtraction." 360 00:14:18,562 --> 00:14:19,973 Yeah, this is way too hard. 361 00:14:20,984 --> 00:14:22,862 Jaunty music 362 00:14:22,902 --> 00:14:24,864 - Are you calling me dumb? - No. 363 00:14:24,904 --> 00:14:26,048 Well, it sounds like you are. 364 00:14:26,072 --> 00:14:27,466 Maybe I'm just too dumb to understand. 365 00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:29,450 - I'm not calling you dumb. - You applied it. 366 00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,787 - "Implied." - I know. 367 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:32,931 It's not like I'm "unliterate." 368 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:33,955 Como se huh? 369 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,541 The Alibi Room. I'm gonna buy it. 370 00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,125 With what, your silver chains? 371 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,728 No, I'm gonna go to the loan store today 372 00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:39,795 and pick up some forms. 373 00:14:39,836 --> 00:14:41,793 - You mean the bank? - Yeah. 374 00:14:41,818 --> 00:14:44,966 Well, does it start with an S? What the fuck? 375 00:14:44,991 --> 00:14:47,518 Cat. I know that shit, bitch. That's a cat! 376 00:14:47,543 --> 00:14:49,236 You learning shit off the TV again? 377 00:14:49,261 --> 00:14:50,488 Just a little bit of this, honey. 378 00:14:50,645 --> 00:14:52,023 Just a little bit of this. 379 00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:55,853 Son of a bitch, that's hot. 380 00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:57,646 My super "spermazoa" too much for her? 381 00:14:57,687 --> 00:14:58,855 Spermatozoa. 382 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,292 And what, now you're-you're the arbiter 383 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:01,625 on where everybody's supposed to be? 384 00:15:01,649 --> 00:15:03,192 Yeah, maybe, 385 00:15:03,234 --> 00:15:04,945 if I knew what "arbiter" meant. 386 00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:06,095 GFY. 387 00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:07,614 Eh, TGIF. 388 00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:09,925 _ 389 00:15:09,966 --> 00:15:12,006 You realize that's not how you spell "come," right? 390 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:14,913 Diplomas are overrated. 391 00:15:14,972 --> 00:15:16,973 I didn't get a diploma, and look at me. 392 00:15:16,998 --> 00:15:19,205 And don't be giving me no shit, Kev! 393 00:15:19,230 --> 00:15:20,835 I do not sound like that. 394 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:21,921 Oh! 395 00:15:21,961 --> 00:15:23,421 Takes two to tangle, you know. 396 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:26,008 It's "tango," and I've tried to fuck you plenty of times. 397 00:15:26,033 --> 00:15:28,284 They're not identical twins. They're... 398 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,262 whatever it is when... when you're not identical. 399 00:15:30,303 --> 00:15:32,306 Whee! Whee! 400 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,932 Separate individuals. 401 00:15:33,957 --> 00:15:35,500 Too many damn countries in Asia. 402 00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:37,101 They should just make it one country. 403 00:15:37,143 --> 00:15:38,269 No, no, no. Heatstroke. 404 00:15:38,294 --> 00:15:40,172 Isn't that when the heat... 405 00:15:40,245 --> 00:15:41,831 strokes you gently? 406 00:15:41,856 --> 00:15:44,777 Kev, you misspelled "résumé" on your résumé. 407 00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:52,700 It was benign, but the scare was very... 408 00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:54,494 v... shit. What is the word again? 409 00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:55,995 - Malignant. - Malignant. 410 00:15:56,037 --> 00:15:57,306 Do you remember what the doctor said? 411 00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:59,874 They're inbred. What if they try to eat us? 412 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,644 - I think that's cannibals. - Well, whatever. 413 00:16:01,668 --> 00:16:03,336 Why is it so much worse for her 414 00:16:03,378 --> 00:16:05,714 to take a tiny little pill that makes her "crazy" 415 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,715 than it is for me to get my testicle lobbed off? 416 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,969 Your testicle will not be "lobbed off," sir. 417 00:16:10,009 --> 00:16:11,613 Only your vas deferens tubes are blocked. 418 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,566 All right. 419 00:16:12,591 --> 00:16:14,806 I think I went overboard with my background. 420 00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:17,393 It's less cowboy and more hick. 421 00:16:17,629 --> 00:16:20,479 Your wife is... a knockout. 422 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,522 Hell, she could be cousins with my wife. 423 00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:24,148 Oh, that runs in the family, too. 424 00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:25,316 Or hillbilly. 425 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,111 Bumpkin? I have so much to learn. 426 00:16:27,136 --> 00:16:28,528 We need a Jesus for the Festival 427 00:16:28,553 --> 00:16:30,472 of St. Felicity pageant next weekend, 428 00:16:30,497 --> 00:16:32,791 and Mr. Ball looks like he works out. 429 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:34,894 You want Kev to be Jesus? 430 00:16:35,576 --> 00:16:38,998 Dramatic high note 431 00:16:39,023 --> 00:16:40,650 Maybe I will go suck a dick. 432 00:16:40,707 --> 00:16:43,001 I could be all gender liquid like you. You don't know. 433 00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:44,420 You mean gender-fluid? 434 00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:46,337 Fluids, liquids, whatever. 435 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,607 V, what the hell are we supposed to do again? 436 00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:49,508 Make a face story on graham cracker? 437 00:16:49,549 --> 00:16:51,050 What have we done, Kev? 438 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:54,805 We have increased our demand... or our supply. 439 00:16:54,846 --> 00:16:58,017 One of those two things, we've increased... or decreased. 440 00:16:58,057 --> 00:16:59,535 We can't keep going around in circles 441 00:16:59,559 --> 00:17:00,893 like the "our-oh-beris." 442 00:17:00,935 --> 00:17:02,979 - The what? - The "our-oh-beris." 443 00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:04,664 We keep going around in the same circle 444 00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:07,108 like the snake eating its own tail. 445 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,317 The ouroboros. 446 00:17:08,492 --> 00:17:09,987 Yes. I was saying it wrong. 447 00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:11,989 Oh, that's such a badass word. 448 00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:14,866 - Maybe we get a tutor. - No money, V. 449 00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:16,617 We need somebody that'll work for free. 450 00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:19,203 Svetlana. 451 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,911 Too bad she isn't here right now. 452 00:17:20,936 --> 00:17:23,022 Where's our throuple when we need it most? 453 00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:24,751 V... 454 00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:26,045 Eh, what the hell? 455 00:17:26,085 --> 00:17:28,963 Uh... what the? 456 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,632 I cook. I clean. 457 00:17:30,673 --> 00:17:32,050 Wifely duty. 458 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,734 - Are you kidding? I'm not gay. - Tongue is tongue, no? 459 00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:38,072 What the hell? 460 00:17:38,097 --> 00:17:39,975 I'm halfway home already. 461 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,393 Oh! Holy fuck. 462 00:17:41,434 --> 00:17:42,728 Mother of God. 463 00:17:45,855 --> 00:17:47,441 Consider it like rent check. 464 00:17:47,482 --> 00:17:49,777 I go mop now. 465 00:17:49,817 --> 00:17:52,196 First shower. Anybody wanna wash my back? 466 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,171 Don't use all the hot water! 467 00:17:56,270 --> 00:17:57,931 - Girls... - I'll do it. 468 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,421 Four, and lift... 469 00:18:10,479 --> 00:18:11,898 Cover bar with baby? 470 00:18:11,923 --> 00:18:13,174 It's okay. I babysit. 471 00:18:13,255 --> 00:18:14,547 Ah, Svet, thank... 472 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,947 I thought we were good in the sack, 473 00:18:18,971 --> 00:18:21,502 but she's like the Michael Jordan of erotic stimuli. 474 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,268 - It's done. - What? How? 475 00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:25,955 - I'm good with numbers. - Since when do we have 476 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:28,272 - a karaoke machine? - Since half-hour ago. 477 00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:30,626 We strip now. Pimp, watch babies. 478 00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,531 Your husband fucked your mother to make babies. 479 00:18:32,568 --> 00:18:33,806 You want to ride on high horse? 480 00:18:34,754 --> 00:18:36,714 Family meeting tonight. 481 00:18:36,739 --> 00:18:38,325 He will not be interested in baby girls 482 00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:40,096 until they reach at least ten years old. 483 00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:42,871 Ready for a family meeting. 484 00:18:42,912 --> 00:18:44,789 This is about family finances. 485 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:45,952 Sit. 486 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,460 Oh, shit. 487 00:18:49,502 --> 00:18:51,337 Fuck. Immigration. Fuck! 488 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:52,672 Don't forget your lines. 489 00:18:56,425 --> 00:18:57,510 Coming! 490 00:19:00,694 --> 00:19:03,225 Morning. Lester from USCIS. 491 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,893 - Oh. - Immigration? 492 00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:06,562 This is the home you and your ex share 493 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,249 with your two children? 494 00:19:08,702 --> 00:19:11,691 Yes. Yes, it is, until she fell for that no-good commie slut. 495 00:19:11,716 --> 00:19:14,202 You discovered your employee's being deported. 496 00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:15,903 Moments later, your live-in partner 497 00:19:15,928 --> 00:19:18,335 of many years dumps you. 498 00:19:18,639 --> 00:19:20,799 - Can you fucking believe that shit? - No. 499 00:19:20,825 --> 00:19:22,827 - He didn't buy any of it? - Not one word. 500 00:19:22,887 --> 00:19:25,848 - And when is he coming back? - Could be tomorrow, next week. 501 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:28,225 I'm gonna break my neck flying down those stairs like that again. 502 00:19:28,249 --> 00:19:30,419 Maybe you should just stay down there. 503 00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:34,088 So are we gonna have a fuck schedule, or a fuck calendar? 504 00:19:34,225 --> 00:19:37,525 You see, like, Sunday will be V and Kev. 505 00:19:37,550 --> 00:19:40,261 You never hang up wet towels. 506 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,697 You never refill the ice tray. 507 00:19:42,722 --> 00:19:46,852 Monday will be V and Kev and Svetlana. 508 00:19:46,911 --> 00:19:49,580 - Ohh... - No, you cannot come yet. 509 00:19:51,631 --> 00:19:53,340 Now you may come. 510 00:19:53,365 --> 00:19:56,671 Tuesday will just be V and Svetlana. 511 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,925 Am I gonna get my own night with Svetlana? 512 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,409 Oh, shit. That's awesome. 513 00:20:02,450 --> 00:20:04,219 Part of me wants to brag, but the other part's like, 514 00:20:04,243 --> 00:20:05,653 "Whoa, this is kind of freaky-deaky." 515 00:20:06,856 --> 00:20:09,290 No other dudes. No other dudes. 516 00:20:12,062 --> 00:20:13,729 We know about Ivan. 517 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,922 - Ivan is husband. - So you didn't fuck your dad? 518 00:20:16,153 --> 00:20:19,508 - Not since I left Russia. - So what brings you here? 519 00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:21,098 So, um... 520 00:20:22,261 --> 00:20:25,223 me and my two wives are having trouble seeing eye to eye... 521 00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:26,682 eyes to eyes. 522 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,768 I cook. I give oral. 523 00:20:28,809 --> 00:20:30,729 I protect from dangerous Russian. 524 00:20:30,786 --> 00:20:32,246 Everything for these two. 525 00:20:32,755 --> 00:20:34,816 Kev and V, are you hearing Lana? 526 00:20:34,857 --> 00:20:36,793 - Yes. - What is she saying? 527 00:20:36,817 --> 00:20:38,152 She gives oral. 528 00:20:38,348 --> 00:20:41,073 I always thought you were just some hand job whore. 529 00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:42,490 Oh, that's okay. 530 00:20:42,531 --> 00:20:44,260 I thought you were illiterate bartender pimp. 531 00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:46,995 Paperwork says Svetlana Fisher owns the joint. 532 00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,456 I am new owner of Alibi. 533 00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:51,015 To being a family again. 534 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,250 Hoorah! 535 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,962 Immigration! Nobody move! 536 00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:06,014 - What the hell is going on? - That's her. She's the leader. 537 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,275 Yeah, no. I'm never doing that again. 538 00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:18,777 _ 539 00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,405 Here's your breakfast, girls. 540 00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:24,908 And Amy, you have a new job. 541 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,411 You are gonna teach Gemma everything you know. 542 00:21:27,451 --> 00:21:29,620 Isn't that exciting? It's like a game. 543 00:21:29,645 --> 00:21:32,708 You make Gemma as smart as you, you get a big prize at the end. 544 00:21:32,748 --> 00:21:34,476 And make sure that Gemma doesn't leave Zoom 545 00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,137 until school is over. 546 00:21:36,502 --> 00:21:38,462 Okay? Mommy and Daddy are gonna go to work.. 547 00:21:40,507 --> 00:21:42,234 - You think it'll work? - Well, it's better 548 00:21:42,258 --> 00:21:44,177 her teaching home-school than us. 549 00:21:44,237 --> 00:21:45,654 It's actually my fault, V. 550 00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,403 - What is? - Gemma. 551 00:21:47,764 --> 00:21:49,807 I was a bad student, too. Gemma got it from me. 552 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:52,215 I passed on my bad student gene to Gemma. 553 00:21:52,768 --> 00:21:54,354 Shit. I hope I don't pass on 554 00:21:54,379 --> 00:21:55,973 my breast cancer gene, too. 555 00:22:16,598 --> 00:22:18,377 When's the last time you did a self-exam? 556 00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:20,122 A what? 557 00:22:22,230 --> 00:22:23,149 You have a lump. 558 00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:27,636 There is a four-centimeter mass 559 00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:28,805 in your right breast. 560 00:22:29,153 --> 00:22:30,556 We need to do a biopsy immediately. 561 00:22:31,044 --> 00:22:32,590 Kevin, do you wanna share? 562 00:22:33,893 --> 00:22:35,184 Uh, yeah. 563 00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:36,729 Hello. 564 00:22:36,771 --> 00:22:37,730 - Hello. - Hi 565 00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:39,024 Glad to be here. 566 00:22:39,419 --> 00:22:41,567 Tomorrow, I get this guy cut into. 567 00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:44,028 And I got all these thoughts swimming around my head, 568 00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:46,280 like "Will I survive surgery?" 569 00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:48,200 "Has the cancer spread?" 570 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:50,035 "Will I get to watch my kids grow up?" 571 00:22:50,076 --> 00:22:52,537 "Will I ever be able to take my shirt off again in the gym 572 00:22:52,578 --> 00:22:54,456 or let men feel me up for tips?" 573 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:55,915 Mm? 574 00:22:56,434 --> 00:22:58,794 Would you be comfortable if we gave you a group hug? 575 00:23:01,837 --> 00:23:03,942 Oh, yes, yes, yes. 576 00:23:05,622 --> 00:23:08,736 Together we stand. Together we fight. 577 00:23:08,761 --> 00:23:11,681 We do it with power. We do it with might. 578 00:23:11,722 --> 00:23:14,101 Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight. 579 00:23:14,142 --> 00:23:15,703 Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight. 580 00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:17,455 Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight. 581 00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:18,915 Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight. 582 00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:20,357 Go on, make a wish. 583 00:23:23,943 --> 00:23:25,044 Shit. 584 00:23:25,712 --> 00:23:27,047 It's still there. 585 00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:28,406 Kev, let's pray. 586 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,997 Mm. God, please protect Kev during his surgery. 587 00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:37,926 Let him wake up cancer-free, God. 588 00:23:38,624 --> 00:23:41,203 And God, when I'm under, 589 00:23:41,228 --> 00:23:43,355 please, please don't let anyone probe me 590 00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:44,756 where they're not supposed to. 591 00:23:44,797 --> 00:23:45,839 Kev... 592 00:23:45,922 --> 00:23:47,995 No, I read about it in my cancer chat rooms. 593 00:23:51,137 --> 00:23:52,931 V! 594 00:23:52,972 --> 00:23:55,267 What happened? Am I alive? 595 00:23:55,324 --> 00:23:56,451 Baby, what happened? 596 00:23:56,476 --> 00:23:57,829 Okay, I'ma go get the nurse, okay? 597 00:23:57,853 --> 00:23:59,604 What happened with my titty? 598 00:23:59,645 --> 00:24:00,901 Did they take my nipple? 599 00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:04,942 Oh, hey there, fella. How are you doing? 600 00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:07,863 - How do you feel, Mr. Ball? - Does he have cancer? 601 00:24:08,097 --> 00:24:09,948 I'll get the doctor. I'm not qualified to discuss 602 00:24:09,973 --> 00:24:11,495 what needs to be discussed. 603 00:24:13,956 --> 00:24:15,718 The fuck is that supposed to mean? 604 00:24:15,745 --> 00:24:18,248 I don't know. It sounded bad. 605 00:24:18,289 --> 00:24:19,901 It did sound bad, didn't it? 606 00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:22,085 Baby... 607 00:24:23,776 --> 00:24:26,188 I want you to set up a memorial for me at The Alibi. 608 00:24:26,213 --> 00:24:27,972 Everyone drinks 609 00:24:29,092 --> 00:24:31,493 at the exact time I die every year. 610 00:24:32,613 --> 00:24:35,240 And I want you to play Boyz II Men "End of the Road" 611 00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:36,400 really loud. 612 00:24:38,411 --> 00:24:40,162 Sorry for the delay, folks. 613 00:24:40,187 --> 00:24:41,896 I biopsied your lump, Mr. Ball. 614 00:24:41,938 --> 00:24:43,259 It's benign. 615 00:24:44,946 --> 00:24:48,361 Why? Why? 616 00:24:48,402 --> 00:24:49,454 What? 617 00:24:50,238 --> 00:24:52,181 What... is that good or bad? I can never remember. 618 00:24:52,206 --> 00:24:54,409 Oh, it's good, baby. You don't have cancer. 619 00:24:54,450 --> 00:24:55,743 I don't have cancer? 620 00:24:56,036 --> 00:24:58,037 - Oh, thank you, Lord! - Oh, thank God. 621 00:24:58,078 --> 00:24:59,163 Not the brightest bulb. 622 00:24:59,206 --> 00:25:01,165 Well, God doesn't give with both hands. 623 00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:02,750 You have other great qualities. 624 00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:04,926 Yeah, I do, don't I? 625 00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:06,871 Like what? 626 00:25:07,243 --> 00:25:08,620 You're a great dad. 627 00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:11,425 Now, the players in the black and white... 628 00:25:11,450 --> 00:25:13,367 They're the White Sox. That's our team. 629 00:25:13,629 --> 00:25:15,846 And the pussies in the gray and blue... 630 00:25:15,871 --> 00:25:17,838 They're the Twins. We hate the Twins. 631 00:25:17,863 --> 00:25:19,308 No, no, no, no. 632 00:25:19,444 --> 00:25:21,070 Not the baby girl twins. 633 00:25:23,199 --> 00:25:24,730 You're the best tennis players 634 00:25:24,755 --> 00:25:26,215 on the planet. 635 00:25:26,348 --> 00:25:29,110 Gemma, you have the number one backhand smash 636 00:25:29,135 --> 00:25:31,179 - in the world. - Kev... 637 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,156 I'm thinking the subliminal message thing is really working. 638 00:25:34,181 --> 00:25:35,598 There is no Gemma. 639 00:25:35,804 --> 00:25:37,593 Gemma doesn't exist anymore. 640 00:25:37,618 --> 00:25:38,620 Only Amy. 641 00:25:38,679 --> 00:25:40,096 And you're devout Catholics, 642 00:25:40,121 --> 00:25:42,123 so cross yourselves a lot like this. 643 00:25:43,353 --> 00:25:44,894 In my house, the way to get closer to God 644 00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:46,377 on Saturday is to play. 645 00:25:46,601 --> 00:25:49,257 - Is that in Ezekiel? - Yeah, the updated version. 646 00:25:49,578 --> 00:25:52,258 - Holy fuck. - I'm ready for you, sir. 647 00:25:52,283 --> 00:25:53,428 Clyde usually had me on Tuesdays, 648 00:25:53,467 --> 00:25:54,778 but if you want me on Saturday... 649 00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:56,220 No, I don't want you on Saturdays. 650 00:25:56,262 --> 00:25:58,157 - I don't want you ever... - Hey, Deb, we're all ready to... 651 00:25:58,199 --> 00:25:59,491 Whoa. 652 00:25:59,781 --> 00:26:01,768 - Hey. - Hey, what's up, man? 653 00:26:02,179 --> 00:26:03,285 What are you doing? 654 00:26:03,310 --> 00:26:05,104 Giving Santiago more of an American look 655 00:26:05,129 --> 00:26:06,549 before we go to The Alibi. 656 00:26:06,605 --> 00:26:07,875 Final touch. 657 00:26:09,167 --> 00:26:11,361 - How's he look? - Like a cheesy American. 658 00:26:14,523 --> 00:26:15,839 Kid brought the heat. 659 00:26:15,864 --> 00:26:19,118 - My God, he's got a cannon! - This is gonna be the best summer ever. 660 00:26:21,453 --> 00:26:22,872 Come on. Come on, let's go. 661 00:26:22,913 --> 00:26:24,349 - What are you doing? - We're gonna go 662 00:26:24,373 --> 00:26:25,374 play fetch. 663 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:26,769 It worked for that dog walker lady. 664 00:26:26,793 --> 00:26:28,127 Maybe it'll work for our kids. 665 00:26:28,187 --> 00:26:30,230 Okay, girls, you ready? You ready? 666 00:26:30,421 --> 00:26:32,398 Go get it! Go get it! 667 00:26:32,423 --> 00:26:34,300 Bring it back. Run fast. 668 00:26:36,635 --> 00:26:37,886 Okay, drop it. 669 00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:39,101 Drop it. Drop it. 670 00:26:41,257 --> 00:26:42,851 You have rocking bod, 671 00:26:42,892 --> 00:26:45,437 and you know how to stick the stones to me real good. 672 00:26:45,478 --> 00:26:46,997 Well, I am a genius in that department. 673 00:26:48,671 --> 00:26:50,125 Get naked... now. 674 00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:54,271 - Yes! Yes! - Oh, sorry. I came in the back way. 675 00:26:54,296 --> 00:26:56,061 You're not the only one. 676 00:26:59,575 --> 00:27:01,966 - Debbie? - No, stay focused, baby. 677 00:27:01,991 --> 00:27:03,875 Are the Gallaghers in our bathroom? 678 00:27:07,083 --> 00:27:09,501 Don't know where you been 679 00:27:09,544 --> 00:27:10,629 Take off your clothes 680 00:27:10,670 --> 00:27:11,897 and get on the bed on all fours. 681 00:27:11,921 --> 00:27:13,964 Now I will spank you with this paddle... 682 00:27:14,194 --> 00:27:15,789 you bad wife. 683 00:27:19,572 --> 00:27:20,864 French fry. French fry. 684 00:27:20,889 --> 00:27:21,991 Just a really quick French fry. 685 00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:23,283 V, I don't really wanna hurt you, 686 00:27:23,307 --> 00:27:25,643 - but this could scar you. - It's not gonna scar. 687 00:27:25,684 --> 00:27:26,765 Okay. 688 00:27:27,019 --> 00:27:28,354 Okay, I can do this. 689 00:27:28,395 --> 00:27:31,586 Now, brace yourself for my wrath, 690 00:27:32,117 --> 00:27:33,917 because it's paddle time. 691 00:27:36,904 --> 00:27:37,989 French fry. 692 00:27:39,281 --> 00:27:40,711 Oh! 693 00:27:41,062 --> 00:27:42,410 Oh, sorry. 694 00:27:42,451 --> 00:27:44,245 - Ow. - Yeah, take it, you old gimp. 695 00:27:44,287 --> 00:27:45,997 Turn over. Mama's gonna give you an exam. 696 00:27:46,038 --> 00:27:47,164 Ah. 697 00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:49,668 That didn't hurt half as much 698 00:27:49,693 --> 00:27:51,486 as I thought it would. 699 00:27:52,753 --> 00:27:54,429 You're a sharp businessman. 700 00:27:55,798 --> 00:27:57,174 - Uh-oh. - What uh-oh? 701 00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:59,594 Sometimes your plans can be a little crazy-pants, Kev. 702 00:27:59,651 --> 00:28:02,096 - Oh, ho, ho, ho! - What? 703 00:28:02,137 --> 00:28:03,515 We may need to sell some pot. 704 00:28:03,806 --> 00:28:06,183 - Isn't that what we always do? - A lot of pot. 705 00:28:07,059 --> 00:28:09,437 I know. Baby, I know. 706 00:28:09,479 --> 00:28:12,046 - I got carried away. - Isn't it wonderful? 707 00:28:12,343 --> 00:28:14,275 Mr. Kevin is gonna help all the old people 708 00:28:14,300 --> 00:28:16,052 who are going blind. 709 00:28:16,128 --> 00:28:17,294 What can I get you, champ? 710 00:28:17,319 --> 00:28:18,755 Lemon-lime shot, chocolate chip cookie bar, 711 00:28:18,779 --> 00:28:20,656 - and a Molson's. - Molson's? 712 00:28:20,715 --> 00:28:23,248 We sell American beer here to children of age. 713 00:28:23,273 --> 00:28:24,993 Come back for a Bud Light when you're 16. 714 00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:26,954 Two Buds and a spliff, please. 715 00:28:26,996 --> 00:28:28,498 - How old are you? - 15. 716 00:28:28,539 --> 00:28:31,418 - Here's four fives. Keep the change. - Raise your arms. 717 00:28:31,459 --> 00:28:33,304 Come back when you grow some hair in your pits. 718 00:28:33,711 --> 00:28:35,171 Well, it's dorms, right? 719 00:28:35,212 --> 00:28:36,857 I mean, they're our permanent ice cream truck. 720 00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:39,000 I always wanted to go to college. 721 00:28:52,312 --> 00:28:54,606 I'm a gentleman, Lip. I'm just escorting them home. 722 00:28:54,631 --> 00:28:56,836 Our rape blocker to the rescue. 723 00:28:57,198 --> 00:28:58,783 I'm here about the bartending job. 724 00:29:14,335 --> 00:29:15,920 Oh! 725 00:29:16,070 --> 00:29:18,564 Come on, Milo. Push that 60. 726 00:29:18,589 --> 00:29:20,341 There you go. You gotta work off 727 00:29:20,366 --> 00:29:22,234 that Avocado Kombucha smoothie, 728 00:29:22,259 --> 00:29:23,595 or whatever the fuck you drink. 729 00:29:23,652 --> 00:29:25,201 Full rotations, man. 730 00:29:25,226 --> 00:29:27,948 Do you want your name under "Pussy of the Day"? 731 00:29:27,989 --> 00:29:29,757 Is that what you want, Jasper? 732 00:29:30,468 --> 00:29:33,245 Way to go, Oscar. Puke is pride. 733 00:29:33,664 --> 00:29:35,899 I wanna join. Uh, you take Amex? 734 00:29:35,924 --> 00:29:38,551 Cash only. ATM is right there. 735 00:29:38,576 --> 00:29:39,803 We could open up a dry cleaner. 736 00:29:39,861 --> 00:29:40,963 - No. - Mattress store. 737 00:29:40,987 --> 00:29:42,905 - Uh-uh. - Think tank. 738 00:29:42,947 --> 00:29:44,090 What the hell is a think tank? 739 00:29:44,114 --> 00:29:46,159 It's where people sit around and think. 740 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:47,757 That's The Alibi. 741 00:29:48,118 --> 00:29:49,953 Got some TVs fell off the back of a truck. 742 00:29:49,996 --> 00:29:51,288 This where you sell stuff? 743 00:29:51,331 --> 00:29:53,187 No, this is not the place that... 744 00:29:53,665 --> 00:29:55,794 sells stolen goods as a side hustle. 745 00:29:56,703 --> 00:29:59,005 That's a relic. I'll give you five for it. 746 00:29:59,367 --> 00:30:00,798 Pleasure doing business with you. 747 00:30:02,842 --> 00:30:05,886 Check it out! Sister wives. 748 00:30:05,929 --> 00:30:07,305 Whoo. 749 00:30:07,330 --> 00:30:08,807 All right, stop. You're gonna give me 750 00:30:08,832 --> 00:30:10,445 a big head. 751 00:30:11,562 --> 00:30:14,429 - What are we gonna do about Gemma? - Well, at least we got one good one. 752 00:30:14,632 --> 00:30:16,314 - Kev. - I'm joking. 753 00:30:16,355 --> 00:30:18,816 I love those girls the same, but I do feel better that Amy's 754 00:30:18,841 --> 00:30:20,487 probably gonna take care of us when we're older. 755 00:30:20,527 --> 00:30:22,444 Mm. 756 00:30:22,890 --> 00:30:24,572 Mama, how do I look? 757 00:30:24,614 --> 00:30:27,534 - Amy? - Gemma did my makeup. 758 00:30:27,575 --> 00:30:29,076 What? How? 759 00:30:29,343 --> 00:30:32,429 Binge watching Huda Kattan YouTube videos. 760 00:30:32,766 --> 00:30:34,468 What's a Huddacatan? 761 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,144 Is that what you've been doing instead of going to Zoom school? 762 00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:38,377 Uh-huh. 763 00:30:40,012 --> 00:30:44,467 - God doesn't give with both hands. - No, she doesn't. 764 00:30:44,508 --> 00:30:45,927 There you go. 765 00:30:48,257 --> 00:30:51,093 Wow. I look great. 766 00:30:51,932 --> 00:30:53,359 Thank you. 767 00:30:53,643 --> 00:30:57,172 - My baby does a good job, huh? - I'd say so. 768 00:30:57,229 --> 00:30:59,707 That'll be $25, plus whatever tip you'd like to leave. 769 00:30:59,731 --> 00:31:03,361 - Mm, here is $30. - Thank you. 770 00:31:03,402 --> 00:31:04,961 - See you again? - Definitely. 771 00:31:05,289 --> 00:31:08,365 - Pimping out your daughter? - Hell no. 772 00:31:08,408 --> 00:31:10,375 I don't objectify women. You know me. 773 00:31:12,161 --> 00:31:13,287 What the hell? 774 00:31:13,328 --> 00:31:14,454 They made a list 775 00:31:14,497 --> 00:31:16,457 of the rapiest bars in the South Side, 776 00:31:16,482 --> 00:31:18,193 and The Alibi's number one? 777 00:31:18,249 --> 00:31:19,394 I haven't raped anybody in here. 778 00:31:19,419 --> 00:31:21,421 No one's ever raped anyone in here, 779 00:31:21,461 --> 00:31:22,588 at least not on the inside. 780 00:31:22,630 --> 00:31:23,797 Out in the alleyway, maybe. 781 00:31:23,855 --> 00:31:25,399 Who says we're rapey? 782 00:31:25,424 --> 00:31:26,550 Some stupid article. 783 00:31:26,593 --> 00:31:28,052 I mean, look around. W-w-what- 784 00:31:28,094 --> 00:31:30,012 what's so rapey about this place, anyway? 785 00:31:33,391 --> 00:31:35,727 _ 786 00:31:35,768 --> 00:31:38,270 _ 787 00:31:40,581 --> 00:31:43,458 _ 788 00:31:43,483 --> 00:31:44,943 I don't know, V. Maybe this place is 789 00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:46,088 - a little rapey. - You think? 790 00:31:46,112 --> 00:31:47,614 Craig has his dick out right now. 791 00:31:47,654 --> 00:31:48,698 Craig! 792 00:31:48,739 --> 00:31:50,657 I have two daughters. 793 00:31:50,825 --> 00:31:52,785 What kind of father am I if I'm also the owner 794 00:31:52,826 --> 00:31:53,912 of the local rapery? 795 00:31:53,937 --> 00:31:55,564 The bottom line is that 796 00:31:55,589 --> 00:31:57,215 the bar can't be rapey anymore. 797 00:31:57,289 --> 00:31:59,134 If women stay away, 798 00:31:59,915 --> 00:32:02,954 - bad for business. - Plus rapey is wrong. 799 00:32:03,730 --> 00:32:05,607 And-and more importantly, rapey is wrong. 800 00:32:08,617 --> 00:32:11,445 _ 801 00:32:11,470 --> 00:32:14,265 You don't think someone could misinterpret that sign? 802 00:32:14,290 --> 00:32:18,602 What? How? If you have a vagina, you're safe. Vagina safe zone. 803 00:32:18,627 --> 00:32:21,852 There's no way we are still on that rapiest bar list. 804 00:32:22,315 --> 00:32:24,150 We have all the signed sex consent forms. 805 00:32:24,191 --> 00:32:26,027 We took down all the rapey posters 806 00:32:26,052 --> 00:32:27,678 and the bondage stuff. 807 00:32:27,737 --> 00:32:29,529 You're the, uh, Vagina Safe guy? 808 00:32:29,829 --> 00:32:31,156 Yes. 809 00:32:31,199 --> 00:32:34,451 I'm Bill Doyle. I own the Spread Eagle on 52nd. 810 00:32:34,493 --> 00:32:36,779 Oh, yeah, I know the place. Uh, deep-fried pickles, right? 811 00:32:36,804 --> 00:32:38,473 I was number two on the rapey bar list. 812 00:32:38,498 --> 00:32:40,999 Then you got off it, so now I'm number one. 813 00:32:41,057 --> 00:32:43,060 You already got women coming in. 814 00:32:43,085 --> 00:32:45,220 Wow. How'd you turn it around? 815 00:32:45,896 --> 00:32:47,814 I had to take an honest inventory 816 00:32:47,839 --> 00:32:49,508 about how The Alibi was contributing 817 00:32:49,549 --> 00:32:51,219 to the oppression of women 818 00:32:51,329 --> 00:32:53,206 and helped furthering the patriarchy. 819 00:32:53,230 --> 00:32:58,076 _ 820 00:33:05,857 --> 00:33:08,152 - Hey, how you doing? - Hi. 821 00:33:08,193 --> 00:33:11,572 - What can I get you? - May I have a vodka cranberry, please? 822 00:33:11,684 --> 00:33:13,874 Vodka cranberry coming right up. 823 00:33:16,460 --> 00:33:18,679 _ 824 00:33:18,703 --> 00:33:22,116 _ 825 00:33:26,146 --> 00:33:27,397 Hey. 826 00:33:30,601 --> 00:33:31,897 How you doing? 827 00:33:32,890 --> 00:33:34,820 Would you like a little lime with that, or... 828 00:33:34,845 --> 00:33:36,681 - Please. - All right. 829 00:33:40,633 --> 00:33:43,761 Four topless mermaids with nipples exposed. 830 00:33:46,899 --> 00:33:50,711 Approximately 41 pairs of panties 831 00:33:50,736 --> 00:33:52,288 hanging from the ceiling. 832 00:33:53,739 --> 00:33:56,249 Centerfold pinup behind the bar 833 00:33:56,783 --> 00:33:59,968 with dart sticking out of her posterior area. 834 00:34:04,100 --> 00:34:06,227 Man at end of bar visually undressing 835 00:34:06,252 --> 00:34:07,754 subject Veronica. 836 00:34:10,964 --> 00:34:13,259 Subject Veronica going to bathroom 837 00:34:13,301 --> 00:34:14,905 as planned. 838 00:34:17,296 --> 00:34:20,433 No one following her into the bathroom as of yet. 839 00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:21,624 Hold on. 840 00:34:22,485 --> 00:34:25,573 Man approaching subject's cocktail. 841 00:34:30,624 --> 00:34:32,794 Man has slipped unknown pharmaceutical 842 00:34:32,819 --> 00:34:36,015 into subject's cocktail. Assume a roofie. 843 00:34:38,515 --> 00:34:41,120 Second man approaching subject cocktail, 844 00:34:41,180 --> 00:34:44,015 also dropping unknown pharmaceutical 845 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:45,374 into drink. 846 00:34:47,684 --> 00:34:50,604 Third man approaching with unknown pharmaceutical, 847 00:34:50,629 --> 00:34:53,299 and he has dropped unknown pharmaceutical 848 00:34:53,324 --> 00:34:54,788 into her drink. 849 00:35:18,069 --> 00:35:20,085 I wanna hug all women, 850 00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:23,647 all of them, 851 00:35:25,222 --> 00:35:26,390 everywhere I see them, 852 00:35:26,626 --> 00:35:28,233 to apologize. 853 00:35:29,257 --> 00:35:31,671 A random hug from a giant white stranger 854 00:35:31,712 --> 00:35:34,422 ain't gonna make us feel any more comfortable about men. 855 00:35:36,818 --> 00:35:39,320 But we will capitalize on their strengths. 856 00:35:39,345 --> 00:35:41,180 We got two good ones, babe. 857 00:35:41,221 --> 00:35:42,835 Yeah, we do. 858 00:35:43,530 --> 00:35:44,850 It's all my fault. 859 00:35:44,892 --> 00:35:46,560 - What is? - How great they are. 860 00:35:46,874 --> 00:35:48,855 No, it's not your fault. That's my fault. 861 00:35:48,895 --> 00:35:51,882 _ 862 00:35:55,108 --> 00:35:57,696 My baby daddy can take care of me! 863 00:35:57,721 --> 00:35:59,273 And your baby, and your mama's baby. 864 00:35:59,298 --> 00:36:01,968 Ooh-hoo, we a regular modern family, baby. 865 00:36:04,591 --> 00:36:05,991 Hey! 866 00:36:08,188 --> 00:36:09,732 And I'm sorry, 867 00:36:10,569 --> 00:36:12,669 but I would never leave you, 868 00:36:12,712 --> 00:36:13,780 ever. 869 00:36:14,129 --> 00:36:15,280 You gotta know that. 870 00:36:15,305 --> 00:36:16,859 I'm putting a force field around us now. 871 00:36:16,883 --> 00:36:19,874 - Babe. - Taking care of what's mine. Come here. 872 00:36:20,315 --> 00:36:21,772 Get in my force field. 873 00:36:22,263 --> 00:36:24,772 I'm really sorry I didn't fuck you before, but... 874 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,200 I really, really wanna fuck you now. 875 00:36:27,225 --> 00:36:30,020 I borrowed Lip's school computer to get online, 876 00:36:30,062 --> 00:36:32,189 and I found that porn that we made, 877 00:36:32,247 --> 00:36:33,791 and then I jerked off to it. 878 00:36:33,816 --> 00:36:34,984 That's so sweet. 879 00:36:40,323 --> 00:36:42,179 That's what I'm talking about. 880 00:36:42,204 --> 00:36:44,368 - Yeah! - Aww. 881 00:36:46,437 --> 00:36:47,814 You! 882 00:36:48,747 --> 00:36:49,998 Oh, my gosh. 883 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:51,250 Ask me. 884 00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:52,554 Veronica Fisher, 885 00:36:52,919 --> 00:36:54,127 will you marry me? 886 00:36:54,169 --> 00:36:55,546 Yes. 887 00:36:55,587 --> 00:36:58,256 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 888 00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,235 _ 889 00:37:01,843 --> 00:37:03,428 Oh, shit! 890 00:37:03,471 --> 00:37:04,513 That's cold! 891 00:37:04,555 --> 00:37:06,223 What the hell? Veronica! 892 00:37:06,374 --> 00:37:07,959 There's no hot water. 893 00:37:11,013 --> 00:37:12,757 Fucking Gallaghers. 894 00:37:12,956 --> 00:37:14,749 No wonder those foster kids are messed up. 895 00:37:14,774 --> 00:37:16,647 That's why they need a positive influence. 896 00:37:17,709 --> 00:37:20,013 Where's my damn toaster? Huh? 897 00:37:20,038 --> 00:37:21,988 - You live here now? - Toaster. 898 00:37:22,031 --> 00:37:23,257 My cell's gone. Help me look for my cell. 899 00:37:23,281 --> 00:37:24,592 - It's gone. - I gave Lip your cell 900 00:37:24,616 --> 00:37:25,677 so he could call around, see if anybody knew 901 00:37:25,701 --> 00:37:27,662 - where Frank was. - So now both my bills 902 00:37:27,703 --> 00:37:28,913 are being run up over there. 903 00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:30,497 We need more time. Can you stall him? 904 00:37:31,832 --> 00:37:33,584 Chopped up some leftover chuck 905 00:37:33,609 --> 00:37:35,185 for a bolognaise ragout. 906 00:37:35,210 --> 00:37:36,921 I hope everybody is good and hungry. 907 00:37:36,962 --> 00:37:38,763 Hey, Kev, you got a Bears jersey I can borrow? 908 00:37:38,788 --> 00:37:40,591 Borrow as in I get it right back, 909 00:37:40,633 --> 00:37:43,176 or borrow as in you plan to keep it forever 910 00:37:43,218 --> 00:37:44,428 and forget it isn't yours? 911 00:37:44,453 --> 00:37:45,923 He wants me to come over to his place tonight. 912 00:37:45,948 --> 00:37:47,448 Oh. You should go. 913 00:37:47,473 --> 00:37:49,826 I'll keep an eye on the kids. I need the kid practice now. 914 00:37:49,851 --> 00:37:51,685 - Yeah, times two. - Oh. 915 00:37:51,727 --> 00:37:52,828 What about her? 916 00:37:52,852 --> 00:37:54,081 You're not gonna get fired 917 00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:55,814 for letting us borrow an old lady, right? 918 00:37:55,855 --> 00:37:57,812 - Or what? - Ah, shit. 919 00:38:01,361 --> 00:38:02,696 Can you watch him for 15 minutes? 920 00:38:02,738 --> 00:38:03,965 Damn, Fi, you see I'm in the middle of doing my... 921 00:38:03,989 --> 00:38:06,491 - Thanks. - Okay, sure. 922 00:38:06,533 --> 00:38:07,701 Hey. 923 00:38:08,427 --> 00:38:10,788 - Who the fuck are you? - Is this that missing kid? 924 00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:12,622 Debbie stole him, and now we have to figure out 925 00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:14,893 how to give him back without giving her 36 months of juvie. 926 00:38:14,917 --> 00:38:16,310 I'm not sure what's going on with her. 927 00:38:16,334 --> 00:38:18,004 Oh, maybe it's 'cause your mom bailed 928 00:38:18,044 --> 00:38:19,780 and Frank's a big drunk. 929 00:38:20,339 --> 00:38:22,650 Oh, what, I'm the asshole now? She's the one who stole a baby. 930 00:38:22,674 --> 00:38:23,819 Kev, what time you going to work today? 931 00:38:23,843 --> 00:38:25,468 Uh, I go in at 6:00. 932 00:38:25,511 --> 00:38:26,737 All right, you're going in early. 933 00:38:26,761 --> 00:38:27,989 You should go in, tell them you saw 934 00:38:28,013 --> 00:38:29,199 a little boy in a Superman costume 935 00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:30,890 walking down Grand Avenue. 936 00:38:30,933 --> 00:38:33,477 I was walking to work, and I saw this cute little kid 937 00:38:33,518 --> 00:38:35,145 wearing a Superman costume. 938 00:38:35,187 --> 00:38:36,593 Cute little kid. 939 00:38:37,022 --> 00:38:40,216 - A little kid in a Superman costume? - Superman costume. Sandy hair. 940 00:38:40,241 --> 00:38:42,319 That's the little boy that's missing. Where did you see him? 941 00:38:42,368 --> 00:38:44,828 On Grand. I just passed him, like, five minutes ago. 942 00:38:44,863 --> 00:38:46,866 Well, we have to call that in, Kev. 943 00:38:46,891 --> 00:38:48,311 Yes, we do. 944 00:38:48,366 --> 00:38:49,826 Two virgin piña coladas. 945 00:38:49,868 --> 00:38:50,953 Thank you, Kate. 946 00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:53,330 I had no idea people I knew could die. 947 00:38:53,687 --> 00:38:55,082 Honey, he was old. 948 00:38:55,327 --> 00:38:58,147 Yeah, but that means my family is gonna die, too, 949 00:38:58,194 --> 00:38:59,502 and then I'll be all alone. 950 00:38:59,544 --> 00:39:01,464 Debs, there are way too many things in life 951 00:39:01,489 --> 00:39:02,981 you gonna have to worry about. 952 00:39:03,006 --> 00:39:04,941 Don't stress about this right now. 953 00:39:04,966 --> 00:39:07,218 - What's wrong with me? - What? 954 00:39:07,261 --> 00:39:08,678 Ethel's got a boy into her, 955 00:39:08,721 --> 00:39:10,404 and she's already has a husband. 956 00:39:10,429 --> 00:39:12,767 You're a guy. Don't spare my feelings. 957 00:39:12,808 --> 00:39:14,536 Are you sure you're sending strong enough signals? 958 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,270 - I've tried. - Guys are pretty dumb. 959 00:39:17,311 --> 00:39:19,247 Sometimes you have to put something shiny in a window 960 00:39:19,272 --> 00:39:21,567 - to get them to the store. - Thanks, Kevin. 961 00:39:21,609 --> 00:39:22,793 So you gonna tell me what happened? 962 00:39:22,817 --> 00:39:24,527 Why do you wanna know anyway? 963 00:39:24,569 --> 00:39:26,297 'Cause you been running your ass around here 964 00:39:26,321 --> 00:39:28,299 like a Black Scarface, and I care about you, okay? 965 00:39:28,585 --> 00:39:30,408 That stupid dumbass. 966 00:39:30,451 --> 00:39:32,370 He seemed scared, Kev, made me swear 967 00:39:32,410 --> 00:39:35,705 - that I wouldn't tell Fiona. - Oh, no, no, no, no. 968 00:39:35,747 --> 00:39:38,417 - That's why you're here. - Well, we have to do something. 969 00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:39,728 No, you want me to do something. 970 00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:42,546 - I promised I wouldn't say anything. - You know I can't keep secrets. 971 00:39:42,587 --> 00:39:44,741 Exactly, so you'll tell Fiona. 972 00:39:45,549 --> 00:39:46,966 God damn it, V. 973 00:39:46,991 --> 00:39:48,927 - May I see some ID, please? - What, are you kidding me? 974 00:39:48,952 --> 00:39:51,705 Show me something. I gotta cover my ass. 975 00:39:54,158 --> 00:39:56,247 Thank you, Dwayne Foster. 976 00:39:56,272 --> 00:39:58,520 What if we adopt Lip as our own? 977 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,227 Wouldn't that change everything? 978 00:40:01,439 --> 00:40:03,274 I'll go chase the rats out of the cooler. 979 00:40:03,317 --> 00:40:04,401 Hey, guys. 980 00:40:06,694 --> 00:40:08,089 Dude, who the hell around here is gonna go to school 981 00:40:08,113 --> 00:40:09,573 if the one really smart guy quits? 982 00:40:09,614 --> 00:40:12,158 Go to school and enjoy being smarter than everyone 983 00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:13,743 and become master of the universe. 984 00:40:13,785 --> 00:40:15,453 - I mean, fuck. - Well, what if I don't wanna be 985 00:40:15,502 --> 00:40:17,665 - master of the universe? - Tough. You gotta be 986 00:40:17,705 --> 00:40:20,021 one of those ridiculously rich successful dudes 987 00:40:20,046 --> 00:40:21,960 and put my kid through college someday. 988 00:40:22,002 --> 00:40:23,337 No pressure. 989 00:40:23,362 --> 00:40:25,322 Joking, right, about not going back to college? 990 00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:27,758 - Serious. I'm done. - College is a racket, huh? 991 00:40:27,799 --> 00:40:28,929 Well, guess what. 992 00:40:28,954 --> 00:40:30,946 There's no one better at beating the system than you. 993 00:40:30,970 --> 00:40:32,596 Hell, man, you got them to give you 994 00:40:32,621 --> 00:40:34,155 four fucking years for free. 995 00:40:34,180 --> 00:40:36,183 Why don't you get your damn diploma, 996 00:40:36,225 --> 00:40:38,491 spit in their faces, and have a fucking future? 997 00:40:38,516 --> 00:40:40,121 You know, I'm getting pretty damn tired 998 00:40:40,145 --> 00:40:41,623 - of everybody telling... - Stop making them have to. 999 00:40:41,647 --> 00:40:42,937 Grow the fuck up. 1000 00:40:44,107 --> 00:40:45,567 Yeah, yeah, I mean, I told her. 1001 00:40:45,609 --> 00:40:47,111 Lip, you can't tell her that shit. 1002 00:40:47,152 --> 00:40:49,154 That's like waving the flag in front of the bull. 1003 00:40:49,179 --> 00:40:52,741 Well, hide the car keys, stop showering, and you tell her nothing, 1004 00:40:52,766 --> 00:40:56,312 and whatever you do, do not... Lip, 1005 00:40:56,804 --> 00:40:58,413 do not let her bone you, 1006 00:40:58,455 --> 00:41:00,248 because that oxytocin stuff 1007 00:41:00,273 --> 00:41:01,608 makes them adhesive. 1008 00:41:01,667 --> 00:41:03,085 You got it? 1009 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:08,466 Shit. 1010 00:41:08,717 --> 00:41:10,421 Jesus. 1011 00:41:11,151 --> 00:41:13,070 She's fine. Just passed out. 1012 00:41:13,095 --> 00:41:14,638 Sweet dreams, baby girl. 1013 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:16,390 Well, she's all yours. 1014 00:41:16,556 --> 00:41:17,933 We gotta get back to the bar. 1015 00:41:22,020 --> 00:41:23,564 Holy Jesus. 1016 00:41:23,589 --> 00:41:25,351 Are you okay? 1017 00:41:25,819 --> 00:41:27,567 I can't tell if you're laughing or crying. 1018 00:41:27,609 --> 00:41:29,402 I'll help you out in here. 1019 00:41:29,444 --> 00:41:31,093 You'll help me out in here. 1020 00:41:32,194 --> 00:41:33,823 - You're on. - I brought help. 1021 00:41:33,866 --> 00:41:36,201 Everybody shovel all this broken tile out. 1022 00:41:36,226 --> 00:41:38,879 Get it the hell out of here. 1023 00:41:41,873 --> 00:41:43,250 Oh, fuck off! 1024 00:41:43,292 --> 00:41:45,084 Have you examined your breasts in the shower 1025 00:41:45,127 --> 00:41:47,462 this morning, Fiona? It's not just here. 1026 00:41:47,504 --> 00:41:50,049 It's here too, and under the arms here. 1027 00:41:50,074 --> 00:41:51,118 All right? 1028 00:41:51,150 --> 00:41:53,150 _ 1029 00:41:54,568 --> 00:41:55,653 Last one. 1030 00:41:55,678 --> 00:41:56,971 If I had a dime for every time 1031 00:41:57,013 --> 00:41:58,765 I heard you say that... 1032 00:41:58,806 --> 00:42:00,058 I'd have exactly one dime. 1033 00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:01,352 W-Wendy! 1034 00:42:01,392 --> 00:42:02,661 - Give me the phone! - Hello? Hello? 1035 00:42:02,685 --> 00:42:03,746 You're not gonna slap me, are you? 1036 00:42:03,770 --> 00:42:04,952 No. 1037 00:42:04,977 --> 00:42:07,601 Usually, after Veronica asks me to level with her, she slaps me. 1038 00:42:07,626 --> 00:42:09,333 My husband fucked my mother to get pregnant. 1039 00:42:09,358 --> 00:42:11,611 Sorry we can't all have our baby the normal way! 1040 00:42:11,669 --> 00:42:13,546 Just remember, if you're gonna sit on my face, 1041 00:42:13,571 --> 00:42:15,114 I have that sinus thing. Okay? 1042 00:42:15,156 --> 00:42:16,301 I thought that's what you ladies wanted, 1043 00:42:16,325 --> 00:42:18,243 is shared housework, wage equality, 1044 00:42:18,285 --> 00:42:19,578 and all that Hunger Games 1045 00:42:19,603 --> 00:42:21,521 Lady Gaga girl power shit. 1046 00:42:21,598 --> 00:42:22,890 Don't haggle with a woman 1047 00:42:22,915 --> 00:42:24,625 who looks this fly in a power suit. 1048 00:42:24,667 --> 00:42:26,042 Let's get those bitches tugging. 1049 00:42:26,084 --> 00:42:28,480 Here's to good old-fashioned American capitalism. 1050 00:42:28,938 --> 00:42:30,314 You can keep a man down, 1051 00:42:30,339 --> 00:42:32,966 but you can never keep him from getting it up. 1052 00:42:33,191 --> 00:42:35,051 - Yes, sir! Ow! - Mm. 1053 00:42:35,093 --> 00:42:37,071 Boom, there it is. 1054 00:42:37,096 --> 00:42:38,973 Boom, there it is. 1055 00:42:39,013 --> 00:42:40,390 Toilets? Toilets. 1056 00:42:40,431 --> 00:42:42,058 Kids drown in toilets all the time. 1057 00:42:42,100 --> 00:42:43,477 Close the lid. 1058 00:42:43,518 --> 00:42:45,562 You gotta be on it all the time. 1059 00:42:45,587 --> 00:42:48,414 I mean, what kind of person doesn't worry about this shit? 1060 00:42:48,439 --> 00:42:50,518 Fine. I will go home 1061 00:42:50,543 --> 00:42:52,031 and fuck my husband. 1062 00:42:52,056 --> 00:42:54,058 Maybe with a little more enthusiasm? 1063 00:42:55,029 --> 00:42:56,698 I'm more like a refugee who sells weed. 1064 00:42:56,739 --> 00:42:58,443 Lots of noises in the ghetto. 1065 00:42:58,468 --> 00:43:00,678 Automatic gunfire, people begging for their lives... 1066 00:43:00,703 --> 00:43:02,162 I changed your diaper, so I know 1067 00:43:02,203 --> 00:43:04,181 your little pudding pop ain't never been chocolate. 1068 00:43:04,205 --> 00:43:06,332 Four hundred years of oppression makes you Black, 1069 00:43:06,375 --> 00:43:08,502 and if you keep up with this wigger bullshit, 1070 00:43:08,561 --> 00:43:10,646 I'm gonna reverse George Zimmerman your ass. 1071 00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:12,135 They're a day old, but no mold. 1072 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:13,381 I checked. Praise Jesus. 1073 00:43:13,431 --> 00:43:16,558 I've been dealing with toddlers all day, talking ABCs, 1074 00:43:16,593 --> 00:43:18,846 telling them what sounds a cow makes. 1075 00:43:18,964 --> 00:43:21,115 It's moo, motherfucker. It's moo. 1076 00:43:21,140 --> 00:43:23,199 Is this really her aunt, or are we gonna find her 1077 00:43:23,224 --> 00:43:24,746 fucking her in our bed a week from now? 1078 00:43:24,771 --> 00:43:26,328 When I started dating Kev, I was like, 1079 00:43:26,352 --> 00:43:27,812 "You're my man, I'm your girl, 1080 00:43:27,855 --> 00:43:29,040 and if you're not happy with that, 1081 00:43:29,064 --> 00:43:30,165 I'll kill you in your sleep." 1082 00:43:30,189 --> 00:43:31,274 It's true. 1083 00:43:31,317 --> 00:43:33,026 Too tired to jump up and down with me? 1084 00:43:33,084 --> 00:43:35,713 Yeah, but if it helps, this is my happy face now. 1085 00:43:35,738 --> 00:43:37,382 You're madder than a hornet in a Coke can. 1086 00:43:37,406 --> 00:43:40,658 "Well, slap my ass and call me Sally." 1087 00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:44,163 "Well, sit on my face and call me Bernard." 1088 00:43:44,203 --> 00:43:45,538 Look at you two. 1089 00:43:45,580 --> 00:43:48,667 You're like two friends from that old show... 1090 00:43:48,709 --> 00:43:50,335 Friends. 1091 00:43:50,377 --> 00:43:52,879 Nipple piercing. It's small but meaningful. 1092 00:43:52,921 --> 00:43:54,631 I would legit not say hello to you 1093 00:43:54,672 --> 00:43:55,758 if I saw you in public. 1094 00:43:55,955 --> 00:43:57,542 V! 1095 00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:01,221 V! 1096 00:44:01,263 --> 00:44:02,513 Holy shit. 1097 00:44:02,555 --> 00:44:04,183 You had sex with her, too. 1098 00:44:04,223 --> 00:44:05,526 V, that-that is... 1099 00:44:06,885 --> 00:44:07,895 really hot. 1100 00:44:07,935 --> 00:44:10,480 - My husband's a slut. - V, that's a little harsh. 1101 00:44:10,522 --> 00:44:12,316 Kev, what the hell are you talking about? 1102 00:44:12,357 --> 00:44:14,609 - God damn it, V. - Love you, Kev. 1103 00:44:14,651 --> 00:44:16,277 Marriage is a sacred institution. 1104 00:44:16,319 --> 00:44:18,034 - Did she go down on you? - Yes! 1105 00:44:18,663 --> 00:44:21,166 - Did she do that thing with her tongue? - Yes. 1106 00:44:21,533 --> 00:44:22,533 Did you come a lot? 1107 00:44:22,576 --> 00:44:24,995 - Kev... - Right. You two just... 1108 00:44:25,020 --> 00:44:27,146 lick each other like cats all day while I'm gone. 1109 00:44:27,171 --> 00:44:28,890 The guy offered me $4,000 1110 00:44:28,932 --> 00:44:31,017 - for an hour with you. - Mm. 1111 00:44:31,042 --> 00:44:32,169 He thinks I'm a whore? 1112 00:44:32,210 --> 00:44:33,169 - Of course. - No. 1113 00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:34,355 It's just a misunderstanding, V. 1114 00:44:34,379 --> 00:44:35,881 That's all. 1115 00:44:38,288 --> 00:44:41,002 Kev, can you come up for a sec? 1116 00:44:52,622 --> 00:44:54,874 V, look how hard I am for you. 1117 00:44:54,899 --> 00:44:56,109 You Kevin Ball? 1118 00:44:56,317 --> 00:44:58,502 - You a health inspector? - Uh, no. 1119 00:44:58,932 --> 00:45:00,029 Jehovah's Witness? 1120 00:45:00,071 --> 00:45:01,614 - No. - IRS? 1121 00:45:01,648 --> 00:45:04,432 - No. - Then yes, I'm Kevin Ball. 1122 00:45:08,413 --> 00:45:09,588 Kev. 1123 00:45:09,613 --> 00:45:11,375 Uh, what? 1124 00:45:11,417 --> 00:45:12,375 V? V! 1125 00:45:12,417 --> 00:45:14,085 V, your mom's here. 1126 00:45:14,127 --> 00:45:15,837 V, don't start that shit. 1127 00:45:15,879 --> 00:45:16,964 - Kevin... - V! 1128 00:45:17,004 --> 00:45:18,276 - Kevin Ball. - V! 1129 00:45:18,301 --> 00:45:19,692 No, I'm done. No more breastfeeding. 1130 00:45:19,716 --> 00:45:21,051 Kev, wake up. 1131 00:45:21,093 --> 00:45:22,428 V, we're doing it, baby. 1132 00:45:28,706 --> 00:45:30,160 V, we gotta talk. 1133 00:45:30,185 --> 00:45:31,895 Kevin? Kevin? 1134 00:45:31,937 --> 00:45:33,312 Kevin? Kevin! 1135 00:45:33,337 --> 00:45:35,424 Kevin Ball, get your ass down here. 1136 00:45:38,109 --> 00:45:39,402 What the fuck, V? 1137 00:45:39,444 --> 00:45:40,946 Kev, please stop talking. 1138 00:45:40,988 --> 00:45:42,112 Snookums... 1139 00:45:42,656 --> 00:45:44,007 Kev, come on. We're gonna be late. 1140 00:45:44,031 --> 00:45:45,292 Kevin Ball, 1141 00:45:45,317 --> 00:45:47,243 get your ass out here right now 1142 00:45:47,268 --> 00:45:49,292 before I Lorena Bobbitt you myself. 1143 00:45:53,207 --> 00:45:55,334 Kev, no one needs to know about our sex life. 1144 00:45:55,359 --> 00:45:56,687 - Uh... - Kev? 1145 00:45:56,712 --> 00:45:58,464 Kev? Kevin? 1146 00:45:58,504 --> 00:45:59,506 - Kevin. - Mm. 1147 00:45:59,547 --> 00:46:01,008 - V? - Kev! 1148 00:46:01,033 --> 00:46:02,159 I'm coming. 1149 00:46:02,184 --> 00:46:03,351 - Kev! - Shh. 1150 00:46:03,426 --> 00:46:05,178 - Come on. - Let me have this. 1151 00:46:05,220 --> 00:46:06,388 - Kev? - Yeah? 1152 00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:07,401 Kev? 1153 00:46:08,465 --> 00:46:10,092 Kevin. 1154 00:46:10,117 --> 00:46:11,743 Hey, hey, hey. 1155 00:46:13,979 --> 00:46:15,355 V. 1156 00:46:32,687 --> 00:46:37,687 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com --