1
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,630
Mm.

2
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,887
Yes, another glorious Sunday.

3
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,889
Oh. Scone for my muffin?

4
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,056
Nyum, nyum, nyum, nyum, nyum.

5
00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:26,159
And for you, five breakfast burritos.

6
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,429
Ah, the Voltron.

7
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:31,532
Our lives are in perfect balance.

8
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,936
Oh, it is just last-second
birthday gift shoppers.

9
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:37,771
Ignore them.

10
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:41,241
I know you're in there, you lazy dork.

11
00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:42,759
I can smell the burritos!

12
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,245
Four. No! Five!

13
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:47,247
They can't be closed. We're booked solid

14
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:49,816
with birthday parties today,
and we have no presents.

15
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,885
Don't worry, I got this.

16
00:00:52,742 --> 00:00:53,921
Auto Trader for the girls.

17
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,923
Adult Escort Express for the boys.

18
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,457
Kids are adults, right?

19
00:00:57,524 --> 00:01:00,060
Fine, fine, whatever. Let's just go.

20
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,032
Let us wander as aimlessly as the plots

21
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:07,668
of the four upcoming Avatar sequels...

22
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,336
I can only assume.

23
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,439
I love your contempt for
things that don't matter.

24
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,250
Do you hear that?

25
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:26,186
Ah, silence.

26
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,793
Come on, let's go.

27
00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:35,362
Time to go to Milhouse's puppy party.

28
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,031
If we go late, you'll get a crappy dog.

29
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,033
That's it, I'm coming in.

30
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:44,571
Ow! No! Ow! No!
That's where I had my surgery!

31
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:57,584
Mm! Miyazaki marathon with
chilled lobster spring rolls.

32
00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,186
Mm, mm.

33
00:02:07,054 --> 00:02:08,457
Oh, crap!

34
00:02:08,492 --> 00:02:11,064
I just realized I haven't
eaten anything all day.

35
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,433
They're out of pizza,
but I built you a slice

36
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,935
out of trash scraps.

37
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,838
Well, hide me behind your coat
while I eat it.

38
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:23,690
I need to be around grown-ups.

39
00:02:23,725 --> 00:02:24,731
Excuse me.

40
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,780
You just passed my street.

41
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,449
Who the hell are you?

42
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,418
Leland Huebner III.

43
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,420
Go back and get Bart.

44
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,622
Hold on, this one seems all right.

45
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:38,258
A little stuck up, but all right.

46
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,962
Thanks so much for the
last-minute dinner invitation.

47
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:44,064
There never was any dinner.
You fell for a scam.

48
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:46,433
You're babysitting. No money.

49
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,069
Adults!

50
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:50,754
Pull over!

51
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:58,311
Wow, Moe, you really gussy up
the place for trivia night.

52
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,247
Hey, where are the regulars?

53
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,082
Ah, keg storage.

54
00:03:02,702 --> 00:03:04,179
Hey! We're thirsty!

55
00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:08,447
Thank you.

56
00:03:08,482 --> 00:03:10,524
I've always wanted to do a trivia.

57
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,793
Who knows what I might know?

58
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,899
Please, join our team.

59
00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:20,901
But they're noobs.

60
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:24,771
Even the humble noob has a
place in the seasons of trivia.

61
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:28,575
Ooh. Once again I am
in awe of your decency.

62
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,010
All right, all right, weirdos.

63
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:32,012
I want to welcome you
dorks to trivia night.

64
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,614
Now, shut your nerd faces
for the first question.

65
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:38,019
"List the four players with
the most fighting penalties

66
00:03:38,054 --> 00:03:39,386
in NHL history."

67
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,687
Oh, sports.

68
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,923
The very lowest genus of trivium.

69
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:44,791
Let's see.
Tie Domi, Dave "Tiger" Williams,

70
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,460
Dave "The Hammer" Schultz,
and, of course,

71
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,929
Stu "The Grim Reaper" Grimson. Duh.

72
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:53,900
All right, next category:
20th Century Vacuum Cleaners.

73
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,969
Just give me the pencil.

74
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,371
"The mascot for this Boston-based..."

75
00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,841
Cuppy, the Dunkin' Donuts coffee cup.

76
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,909
"This English prog rock supergroup

77
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:06,513
scored a hit with 1970's "Lucky Man."

78
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,514
Emerson!

79
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,515
Lake!

80
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,516
And!

81
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,517
Palmer!

82
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:12,819
Okay, okay.

83
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,921
And the winning team is...

84
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:17,023
"Han Shot First." What does that mean?

85
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,726
- Is that dirty?
- It's from Star Wars.

86
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,728
I never heard of it. I... Is it dirty?

87
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,730
Who cares, who cares.
Here's your trophy.

88
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,035
To fat guys with hot wives.

89
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,438
This one's for you, Kevin James.

90
00:04:36,357 --> 00:04:37,533
Take a poncho.

91
00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:41,214
I always carry extras in case
Homer eats anything slurpable.

92
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,182
That's so clever.

93
00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:46,686
What other big-and-tall
"wife hacks" do you have?

94
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:50,690
Oh, I've got all kinds of tricks
for fat-proofing your house.

95
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:53,059
Come over sometime and I'll show you.

96
00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:55,728
My chashu!

97
00:04:59,018 --> 00:05:01,634
See? Here I've welded
high-tensile steel

98
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:05,171
under the cushions to reduce sofa-sag.

99
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:09,108
I've lost a lot of furniture
to chubby hubby couch droop.

100
00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:13,646
Oh, Maggie's up.

101
00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:16,182
Can you go sit with her
while I warm a bottle?

102
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:19,018
Oh, but I don't know much about babies.

103
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:21,120
Except how to dress like one.

104
00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:25,491
All is well.

105
00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:26,692
Silence.

106
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:28,428
You are loved!

107
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:54,487
Look how much she likes you.

108
00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,389
You're a natural.

109
00:05:56,456 --> 00:06:00,293
I just remembered something
I must tell my husband.

110
00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:02,562
Impregnate me at once!

111
00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:06,299
But you never wanted children.

112
00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:08,668
You always said our marriage
is perfect as it is.

113
00:06:08,734 --> 00:06:13,306
I mean, can you imagine a
child playing in this room?

114
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:15,475
Uh, it's full of toys.

115
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,610
Yes, well, but yeah, but it's selfish

116
00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:20,813
to bring a new life into a world
with diminishing resources.

117
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,349
The planet is running
out of watchable IP!

118
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,852
They say by 2028 all we will have left

119
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:28,254
is the General Mills Cinematic Universe

120
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,423
starring Hamburger Helper.

121
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,425
If I can't convince you,

122
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:35,194
maybe she can.

123
00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:37,864
Greta, the sexy Gremlin

124
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:40,833
from the underappreciated-
but-stil-terrible Gremlins 2.

125
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,837
I know this is your ultimate fantasy.

126
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:47,874
It's time to feed your desires

127
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:49,375
after midnight.

128
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,480
I must resist.

129
00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,949
My will is stronger
than The Great Resisto,

130
00:06:57,016 --> 00:07:00,052
a hero I am inventing
as I reference him.

131
00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:03,456
Uh, my darling, my darling, I am sorry.

132
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:06,759
But I have spent every working
hour of my life around children,

133
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,761
and one thing I know for certain:

134
00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:11,097
I don't want any.

135
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:14,233
And... banked.

136
00:07:16,315 --> 00:07:18,137
I want a baby.

137
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:21,016
I don't want a baby!

138
00:07:26,121 --> 00:07:28,565
Kumiko's baby fever is out of control.

139
00:07:29,267 --> 00:07:30,769
Look at all these comments she left.

140
00:07:30,836 --> 00:07:33,005
It goes really quick from smiley face

141
00:07:33,071 --> 00:07:36,074
to "Without a baby, all is horror."

142
00:07:37,823 --> 00:07:39,477
Well, I think Comic Book Guy

143
00:07:39,522 --> 00:07:41,157
should have kids.

144
00:07:41,224 --> 00:07:43,359
Oh, that's so sweet.

145
00:07:43,426 --> 00:07:45,361
'Cause screw that jerk!

146
00:07:45,428 --> 00:07:49,031
Thinks his childless life is
so great just because it is.

147
00:07:49,098 --> 00:07:50,666
Wakes up whenever he wants.

148
00:07:50,733 --> 00:07:53,469
Doesn't have to lug car
seats onto the plane.

149
00:07:53,536 --> 00:07:56,172
He can store poison in the
fridge so it's nice and cold.

150
00:07:56,239 --> 00:07:58,808
And don't get me started
on their sex life.

151
00:07:58,874 --> 00:08:00,310
They can do it anywhere:

152
00:08:00,384 --> 00:08:03,713
kitchen floor, bathroom floor,
on the microwave.

153
00:08:03,761 --> 00:08:07,917
Set that baby on "popcorn."
Pop! Pop! Pop!

154
00:08:07,984 --> 00:08:10,419
So... we'll help them?

155
00:08:10,486 --> 00:08:13,789
Anything to destroy their paradise.

156
00:08:19,829 --> 00:08:21,764
Remember, it's up to you two

157
00:08:21,831 --> 00:08:24,500
to make children seem like a blessing.

158
00:08:24,567 --> 00:08:27,770
Got it. And when she pops out that kid,
we each get a 20.

159
00:08:27,837 --> 00:08:30,906
- Or equivalent gift card.
- Whoa! That's the stuff.

160
00:08:30,973 --> 00:08:34,610
Oh, look, it's our trivia buddies!

161
00:08:34,627 --> 00:08:37,530
You see movies at the
same cemetery we do?

162
00:08:37,597 --> 00:08:39,533
What a pleasant surprise.

163
00:08:40,233 --> 00:08:41,534
Speaking of children,

164
00:08:41,601 --> 00:08:44,971
these two were completely
planned and wanted.

165
00:08:47,673 --> 00:08:49,542
Shrug, he shrugged.

166
00:08:49,609 --> 00:08:51,844
Uh, why don't we get some more snacks?

167
00:08:53,579 --> 00:08:55,581
Hello, little azuki bean.

168
00:08:57,984 --> 00:08:59,552
Yo, Kingpin!

169
00:08:59,619 --> 00:09:01,087
How's the ponytail hanging?

170
00:09:01,154 --> 00:09:03,689
Don't patronize me, Bart and She-Bart.

171
00:09:03,756 --> 00:09:06,125
I need silence to watch the iconic '80s

172
00:09:06,192 --> 00:09:08,828
time travel epic, Forward to the Past.

173
00:09:08,895 --> 00:09:10,863
Never heard of it. Is it any good?

174
00:09:10,930 --> 00:09:13,900
Okay, it's a consensus top
ten family action comedy

175
00:09:13,966 --> 00:09:15,902
that has been delighting
bedwetting piglets

176
00:09:15,968 --> 00:09:17,670
like yourself for eons!

177
00:09:17,737 --> 00:09:20,873
Feh! Wah! Hooof! And again, feh!

178
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:22,875
- Oh.
- Huh.

179
00:09:22,942 --> 00:09:26,379
It's so sweet you're helping
the Book Guys become a family.

180
00:09:26,446 --> 00:09:28,548
I mean, without kids, come on,

181
00:09:28,614 --> 00:09:30,183
they're just dating with rings on.

182
00:09:31,584 --> 00:09:35,188
Oh, Marge, I love your takes.

183
00:09:35,254 --> 00:09:36,823
Ooh, model crypt.

184
00:09:36,889 --> 00:09:40,226
Fancy! Want to see
how the other half dies?

185
00:09:40,739 --> 00:09:42,228
Oh!

186
00:09:42,295 --> 00:09:44,430
We can return to our time

187
00:09:44,497 --> 00:09:46,566
if we can just get this paddle steamer

188
00:09:46,632 --> 00:09:48,568
up to 99 miles an hour.

189
00:09:48,634 --> 00:09:51,170
Is that relative to
the shore or the water?

190
00:09:51,237 --> 00:09:53,940
Great Steve, Mickey! I don't know!

191
00:09:54,006 --> 00:09:57,443
Golfer Aoki, four letters.

192
00:09:57,510 --> 00:09:58,544
"Isao."

193
00:09:58,611 --> 00:10:00,179
Hello? Hello?!

194
00:10:00,246 --> 00:10:02,381
The show is up there, not on your lap.

195
00:10:02,448 --> 00:10:03,850
Look, I got to be honest.
I only like movies

196
00:10:03,916 --> 00:10:05,551
where Deadpool talks to the camera,

197
00:10:05,618 --> 00:10:07,353
so I'm watching Deadpool.

198
00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:09,622
Okay, eyes up, TikToks!

199
00:10:09,689 --> 00:10:12,592
Tonight, you watch a screen
that is unswipeable!

200
00:10:19,098 --> 00:10:22,101
Premium sound system. Sweet.

201
00:10:24,537 --> 00:10:25,938
Honey, just think.

202
00:10:26,005 --> 00:10:27,440
Someday, you and I will be

203
00:10:27,507 --> 00:10:30,143
snuggling next to each
other for eternity.

204
00:10:30,209 --> 00:10:33,479
Oh, Homie,
I never thought about it that way.

205
00:10:36,849 --> 00:10:40,119
'Till death do each other.

206
00:10:42,388 --> 00:10:45,992
Rivers? Where we're going,
we don't need rivers.

207
00:10:55,468 --> 00:10:56,903
Yes, all right, you little trolls.

208
00:10:56,969 --> 00:10:59,572
If you must, tear the classic down

209
00:10:59,639 --> 00:11:02,508
with your snarky little remarks. Go.

210
00:11:02,575 --> 00:11:05,745
An emotionally satisfying ending.

211
00:11:05,811 --> 00:11:08,681
Are you sure this is an American movie?

212
00:11:08,748 --> 00:11:10,416
I can't believe it.

213
00:11:10,483 --> 00:11:12,585
I... cared what happened.

214
00:11:14,187 --> 00:11:16,689
Oh. What is that thrill I'm feeling?

215
00:11:16,756 --> 00:11:20,760
You are experiencing this
movie again for the first time,

216
00:11:20,826 --> 00:11:23,196
but through the eyes of children.

217
00:11:30,937 --> 00:11:34,073
Oh, Homie, that was so dangerous.

218
00:11:34,140 --> 00:11:36,409
I feel like Mrs. Dracula.

219
00:11:36,475 --> 00:11:38,311
I definitely had a...

220
00:11:38,377 --> 00:11:40,613
good evening.

221
00:11:41,647 --> 00:11:43,382
Hey, it's locked.

222
00:11:43,944 --> 00:11:45,218
Oh, no!

223
00:11:45,284 --> 00:11:47,887
We're trapped in a crypt full of...

224
00:11:47,954 --> 00:11:49,589
smooth jazz.

225
00:11:56,662 --> 00:11:58,431
Little known trivia:

226
00:11:58,497 --> 00:12:01,400
the time travel vehicle was
originally a tanning booth.

227
00:12:01,467 --> 00:12:04,270
- Whoa!
- That's crazy!

228
00:12:04,337 --> 00:12:06,772
The little ones love
your useless knowledge.

229
00:12:06,839 --> 00:12:10,276
Yes, my factoid will be
passed on for generations,

230
00:12:10,343 --> 00:12:13,346
and in that way, I will never truly die.

231
00:12:14,395 --> 00:12:16,349
You know, maybe I was wrong

232
00:12:16,415 --> 00:12:20,086
to dismiss the idea of children
so... so quickly.

233
00:12:20,624 --> 00:12:21,787
Do you mean it?

234
00:12:21,854 --> 00:12:23,889
Hurry. Let's return these loaner kids

235
00:12:23,956 --> 00:12:27,260
and go home to make a mixed-race nerd.

236
00:12:27,326 --> 00:12:31,097
Hey, shouldn't Mom and Dad
be showing up about now?

237
00:12:32,531 --> 00:12:36,035
Mom? Dad? Where are you?!

238
00:12:36,102 --> 00:12:38,404
We are in a cemetery,

239
00:12:38,471 --> 00:12:40,573
so maybe they were attacked by zombies.

240
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,276
Stop it! Stop saying that!

241
00:12:43,342 --> 00:12:44,877
Our parents are undead.

242
00:12:44,944 --> 00:12:47,246
Dad will eat your head.

243
00:12:53,386 --> 00:12:55,554
Let us out!

244
00:12:55,621 --> 00:12:59,037
Great Steve! They are zombies!

245
00:13:05,231 --> 00:13:07,400
They demand... emotional support.

246
00:13:07,466 --> 00:13:08,901
You can do it.

247
00:13:08,968 --> 00:13:10,403
Give them comfort.

248
00:13:12,104 --> 00:13:14,907
Must... act like... loving father.

249
00:13:15,975 --> 00:13:17,643
I flee.

250
00:13:21,113 --> 00:13:23,449
But you caved!

251
00:13:25,685 --> 00:13:29,422
Mom! Dad! You're okay!

252
00:13:29,488 --> 00:13:30,723
Hey, where'd the dork go?

253
00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:32,758
Your children's emotional needs

254
00:13:32,825 --> 00:13:34,260
have pushed him away.

255
00:13:34,327 --> 00:13:37,363
If I know him, and I don't,

256
00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:39,098
I'm sure he'll be back.

257
00:13:39,165 --> 00:13:43,502
No. He has run to a place
where there is no hope.

258
00:13:49,642 --> 00:13:52,278
I have returned. Forever.

259
00:13:52,345 --> 00:13:55,614
Your room is unchanged...
as are your sheets.

260
00:14:01,835 --> 00:14:04,984
So... your husband ran
away to his childhood home,

261
00:14:05,131 --> 00:14:06,800
leaving you alone.

262
00:14:06,866 --> 00:14:09,556
Maybe forever. Also, childless.

263
00:14:10,527 --> 00:14:12,372
I'm sure you're experiencing

264
00:14:12,439 --> 00:14:14,574
a lot of feelings right now.

265
00:14:14,641 --> 00:14:16,609
It's okay to let them out.

266
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,981
I hate you, you shameless womb tease!

267
00:14:22,048 --> 00:14:23,917
You're like a baby drug dealer!

268
00:14:23,983 --> 00:14:27,120
You give me a taste, and now I'm hooked!

269
00:14:27,187 --> 00:14:28,922
This is on you, too!

270
00:14:28,988 --> 00:14:31,758
You've crushed my only
chance at happiness,

271
00:14:31,825 --> 00:14:34,394
you ape-faced cheeseburger goblin!

272
00:14:36,996 --> 00:14:38,431
Make this right.

273
00:14:38,498 --> 00:14:40,500
Bring back my husband!

274
00:14:47,563 --> 00:14:50,143
Whoa. So this is where
Comic Book Guy grew up.

275
00:14:50,210 --> 00:14:54,237
We'll finally see what kind of
"its" created a "that."

276
00:14:57,016 --> 00:15:01,187
Ah, you must be delivering my
1912 Polish coronation stamp.

277
00:15:01,254 --> 00:15:02,889
Actually, we're looking for someone

278
00:15:02,956 --> 00:15:04,924
we call "Comic Book Guy."

279
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:08,728
Enter. My son is in here... somewhere.

280
00:15:08,795 --> 00:15:11,931
Oh, well, thank you, Mr., uh...

281
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:15,135
You may refer to me as
"Postage Stamp Fellow."

282
00:15:18,972 --> 00:15:21,207
What is this crazy place?

283
00:15:26,679 --> 00:15:28,114
This crazy place

284
00:15:28,181 --> 00:15:29,816
is Comic Book Guy's childhood home.

285
00:15:29,883 --> 00:15:31,885
An only child, he grew up surrounded

286
00:15:31,951 --> 00:15:35,822
by an eccentric extended family
of childless aunts and uncles.

287
00:15:35,889 --> 00:15:39,125
However, his family poured their
love into their collections,

288
00:15:39,192 --> 00:15:43,164
instead of into the lonely
little boy wandering the halls.

289
00:15:43,199 --> 00:15:46,332
His aunt collected taxidermized
chestnut-tailed starlings,

290
00:15:46,399 --> 00:15:49,569
causing her to form a tacit
alliance with her twin brother,

291
00:15:49,636 --> 00:15:51,838
who collected brutalist birdhouses.

292
00:15:54,710 --> 00:15:55,775
His great step-uncle,

293
00:15:55,842 --> 00:15:58,178
who had once had his heart
broken by a meter maid,

294
00:15:58,244 --> 00:16:01,781
was a gatherer of discredited
obstetric equipment,

295
00:16:01,848 --> 00:16:03,416
while his younger dowager aunt

296
00:16:03,483 --> 00:16:05,919
collected antique Chinese cricket boxes

297
00:16:05,985 --> 00:16:07,620
and filled them with live crickets,

298
00:16:07,687 --> 00:16:09,789
who frequently escaped.

299
00:16:10,497 --> 00:16:11,524
The only thing of value

300
00:16:11,591 --> 00:16:14,794
the family did not display
in the home was love.

301
00:16:14,861 --> 00:16:17,430
And the love he sought most
was that of his father,

302
00:16:17,497 --> 00:16:20,433
who spent his days as
an avid philatelist.

303
00:16:37,049 --> 00:16:40,853
Mint. Mint. Near mint. Very fine.

304
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,489
Hi, um, there.

305
00:16:43,556 --> 00:16:47,026
Maybe you might feel better
if you came home with us?

306
00:16:47,092 --> 00:16:48,661
I am home. From now on,

307
00:16:48,727 --> 00:16:51,330
my only companion is my
comic book collection.

308
00:16:51,397 --> 00:16:53,365
Mint. Mint. Near mint.

309
00:16:53,432 --> 00:16:55,434
Gem mint. Mint. Mint...

310
00:16:55,501 --> 00:16:58,270
- Look at the sad little boy.
- Mint. Mint. Mint. Mint.

311
00:16:58,337 --> 00:17:00,906
- Is that you?
- Mint. Mint.

312
00:17:00,973 --> 00:17:03,509
Worst... day... ever!

313
00:17:03,576 --> 00:17:07,279
There's got to be more to this story.

314
00:17:07,346 --> 00:17:09,014
There was more to this story.

315
00:17:10,850 --> 00:17:14,186
Without anyone to play with,
the lonely boy turned to baseball.

316
00:17:14,253 --> 00:17:16,288
His favorite pitcher was Sandy Koufax,

317
00:17:16,355 --> 00:17:19,391
and he perfected a curveball
of rare devastation.

318
00:17:19,458 --> 00:17:22,995
However, his team
would never give him a chance.

319
00:17:23,062 --> 00:17:24,997
But on the day before the big game,

320
00:17:25,064 --> 00:17:28,000
all the starting pitchers were
injured in a multi-canoe pile-up

321
00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:31,804
caused by the sighting of an
unusually large lake sturgeon.

322
00:17:33,939 --> 00:17:36,141
He got the call to pitch.

323
00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:38,310
His dearest hope was that
his father would finally see

324
00:17:38,377 --> 00:17:40,579
his masterful curveball in action.

325
00:17:40,646 --> 00:17:43,382
But during the biggest
moment of his young life,

326
00:17:43,449 --> 00:17:46,585
his dad was nowhere to be seen.

327
00:18:10,676 --> 00:18:12,378
He escaped his sadness

328
00:18:12,444 --> 00:18:15,881
into a world of heroes,
villains and Jugheads.

329
00:18:19,051 --> 00:18:22,788
In that moment, he became more
than a boy but less than a man.

330
00:18:24,123 --> 00:18:26,592
He became Comic Book Guy.

331
00:18:28,227 --> 00:18:30,362
Marge then confronted
Postage Stamp Fellow

332
00:18:30,429 --> 00:18:33,332
about this life-changing
incident with his son.

333
00:18:33,399 --> 00:18:35,434
What? Oh. Okay.

334
00:18:38,304 --> 00:18:41,473
Why weren't you there for
your son when he needed you?

335
00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:44,176
This is not a family to
rummage through the past.

336
00:18:44,825 --> 00:18:46,078
Emotionally.

337
00:18:46,145 --> 00:18:49,148
You tell me why you didn't go
to your son's baseball game,

338
00:18:49,214 --> 00:18:50,549
or I'll lick it.

339
00:18:50,616 --> 00:18:52,217
My Inverted Dendermonde?

340
00:18:52,284 --> 00:18:53,585
You wouldn't dare!

341
00:18:55,387 --> 00:18:56,655
All right, all right! I'll tell you!

342
00:18:56,722 --> 00:18:58,757
I was buying him that.

343
00:19:01,927 --> 00:19:04,363
Go ahead. Tell him.

344
00:19:05,216 --> 00:19:06,332
I didn't go to your game,

345
00:19:06,398 --> 00:19:08,334
because I was afraid if you lost,

346
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,803
I wouldn't know how to comfort you.

347
00:19:10,869 --> 00:19:13,372
So I supported you
the only way I knew how.

348
00:19:13,439 --> 00:19:15,140
I purchased you a collectible.

349
00:19:15,207 --> 00:19:17,176
Which I never had the heart to give you.

350
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:19,979
- Until now.
- Sandy Koufax,

351
00:19:20,045 --> 00:19:22,147
the left arm of God!

352
00:19:22,214 --> 00:19:25,317
Son, perhaps we should do
something we've never done.

353
00:19:25,384 --> 00:19:26,852
Have a catch?

354
00:19:26,919 --> 00:19:28,787
I think I would like that.

355
00:19:31,056 --> 00:19:32,624
- Ow!
- Ow!

356
00:19:32,691 --> 00:19:34,526
- Ow!
- Ow!

357
00:19:34,593 --> 00:19:38,497
Everyone,
my son and I are having a catch.

358
00:19:38,564 --> 00:19:41,600
Love was finally on display.

359
00:19:42,601 --> 00:19:44,236
- Ow.
- Ow.

360
00:19:44,303 --> 00:19:49,141
Well, maybe Comic Book Guy won't
be so afraid to be a father.

361
00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:52,411
Sucker.

362
00:19:55,748 --> 00:19:58,384
Wife, I have returned... healed!

363
00:19:58,450 --> 00:20:01,353
I am now... Changed Better Guy.

364
00:20:02,052 --> 00:20:04,156
My ultimate fantasy.

365
00:20:04,223 --> 00:20:08,060
Mr. Beaver from The Lion,
the Witch and the Wardrobe.

366
00:20:08,127 --> 00:20:10,596
You are ready to make a baby.

367
00:20:36,155 --> 00:20:38,557
* Poor old Granddad *

368
00:20:38,624 --> 00:20:41,794
* I laughed at all his words *

369
00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:45,197
* I thought he was a bitter man *

370
00:20:45,264 --> 00:20:48,196
* He spoke of women's ways... *

371
00:20:50,731 --> 00:20:54,039
* They trap you and they use you *

372
00:20:54,106 --> 00:20:57,242
* Before you even know *

373
00:20:57,309 --> 00:21:00,045
* But love is blind and
you're far too kind *

374
00:21:00,112 --> 00:21:03,248
* Don't ever let it show *

375
00:21:03,315 --> 00:21:08,053
* I wish that I knew
what I know now *

376
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,155
* When I was younger *

377
00:21:10,222 --> 00:21:14,426
* I wish that I knew
what I know now *

378
00:21:14,493 --> 00:21:16,328
* When I was stronger *

379
00:21:16,395 --> 00:21:19,164
* The can-can's
such a pretty show *

380
00:21:19,231 --> 00:21:22,401
* Will steal your heart away *

381
00:21:22,468 --> 00:21:26,171
* But backstage back
on Earth again *

382
00:21:26,238 --> 00:21:28,774
* The dressing rooms are gray *

383
00:21:28,841 --> 00:21:31,176
* They come on strong
and it ain't too... *

384
00:21:31,243 --> 00:21:32,244
Shh!

385
00:21:35,509 --> 00:21:38,570
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com