1 00:00:00,008 --> 00:00:05,928 CREDITS 2 00:00:18,596 --> 00:00:22,375 Good evening and welcome to this festive edition of Play of the Week. 3 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:26,363 I'm Chris Bean, the director. 4 00:00:26,364 --> 00:00:29,755 The BBC has recently refused to fund any more episodes of 5 00:00:29,756 --> 00:00:30,971 Play of the Week, 6 00:00:30,972 --> 00:00:33,083 but thanks to some additional sponsorship, 7 00:00:33,084 --> 00:00:34,811 we are gladly able to continue 8 00:00:34,812 --> 00:00:37,307 with tonight's production of The Nativity. 9 00:00:37,308 --> 00:00:40,999 I should also inform you that a fire alarm test was scheduled to 10 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,439 happen in our studio tonight. 11 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,691 I did email the BBC to try to have it moved, but they said they 12 00:00:45,716 --> 00:00:50,448 would rather disturb our broadcast than one of their empty studios. 13 00:00:51,132 --> 00:00:54,331 I called their bluff and, after a frank exchange, 14 00:00:54,356 --> 00:00:58,356 we will now be having two fire alarm tests tonight. 15 00:00:58,428 --> 00:01:01,179 So, the actors are prepared. 16 00:01:01,180 --> 00:01:03,163 The stage is set. 17 00:01:03,555 --> 00:01:08,041 Please enjoy The Nativity, sponsored by Brookshaw Corporate Finance. 18 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,691 Our story begins with Mary... 19 00:01:25,692 --> 00:01:28,279 ..a young woman from the town of Nazareth, 20 00:01:29,124 --> 00:01:33,124 and her husband, Joseph, a humble carpenter. 21 00:01:40,326 --> 00:01:41,713 Oh, Joseph. 22 00:01:46,082 --> 00:01:49,729 Behold! I am the Archangel Gabriel. 23 00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:52,612 Witness the light of God. 24 00:01:52,637 --> 00:01:54,666 Kneel before the messenger of the Lor... 25 00:01:54,691 --> 00:01:56,246 Not yet. 26 00:02:03,285 --> 00:02:04,475 Oh, Joseph. 27 00:02:04,476 --> 00:02:07,073 Nothing interesting ever happens in Nazareth. 28 00:02:07,707 --> 00:02:09,823 But did you hear word of the census? 29 00:02:09,848 --> 00:02:13,393 Mary, we must travel to Bethlehem to be counted by the Romans. 30 00:02:13,418 --> 00:02:15,737 We shall have to buy a donkey to make that journey. 31 00:02:15,762 --> 00:02:17,019 But we have not the money. 32 00:02:17,020 --> 00:02:21,020 I have not sold so much as a crude stool in two months. 33 00:02:21,116 --> 00:02:25,116 Fear not, my love, you are a master carpenter. 34 00:02:27,746 --> 00:02:29,590 Finished. 35 00:02:31,515 --> 00:02:33,851 Money will come if we have faith. 36 00:02:33,852 --> 00:02:36,155 Faith is all we have. 37 00:02:41,724 --> 00:02:44,283 We must put our trust in God. 38 00:02:44,284 --> 00:02:47,547 Or perhaps we should consider a small business loan allowing us 39 00:02:47,548 --> 00:02:49,595 to expand our range of products. 40 00:02:50,016 --> 00:02:51,851 Would the interest not cripple us? 41 00:02:51,876 --> 00:02:54,733 Not at the 3.4% variable APR offered 42 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:57,329 exclusively by Brookshaw Corporate Finance. 43 00:02:57,354 --> 00:02:59,071 Now that's a miracle. 44 00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:06,678 Behold! 45 00:03:13,468 --> 00:03:14,747 Hello. 46 00:03:15,685 --> 00:03:17,793 I am the Archangel Gabriel. 47 00:03:28,615 --> 00:03:30,698 Kneel before the messenger of the Lord. 48 00:03:30,723 --> 00:03:33,858 But... But do not be afraid... 49 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,875 ..for I bring great news. 50 00:03:39,372 --> 00:03:41,478 You will conceive a child. 51 00:03:41,503 --> 00:03:42,910 A child! 52 00:03:42,935 --> 00:03:45,545 ? For unto us a child is bo... ? 53 00:03:45,570 --> 00:03:47,146 That's cut, Dennis. 54 00:03:49,108 --> 00:03:51,155 But I can't have a child. 55 00:03:51,912 --> 00:03:53,592 I'm a virgin. 56 00:03:55,772 --> 00:03:59,459 I've been sent to tell you that you have been impregnated remotely. 57 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,364 Sorry, that came out very sinister. 58 00:04:02,389 --> 00:04:03,584 It's a good thing. 59 00:04:03,654 --> 00:04:05,342 The babe is a gift from the Lord, 60 00:04:05,367 --> 00:04:08,162 and I have been sent to tell you, from on high... 61 00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:13,771 I've been sent to tell you, from on high... 62 00:04:16,193 --> 00:04:18,107 I've been sent to tell you, from here, 63 00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:22,521 that this child shall be the Son of God. 64 00:04:23,804 --> 00:04:26,974 But why would the good Lord choose me to bear his child? 65 00:04:30,524 --> 00:04:32,781 The Lord moves in mysterious ways. 66 00:04:33,382 --> 00:04:35,671 You are now with child. 67 00:04:42,099 --> 00:04:44,996 Heed my words, for I am a prophet of the Lord. 68 00:04:45,021 --> 00:04:46,888 And everyone likes profits. 69 00:04:47,404 --> 00:04:50,340 ? Brookshaw Corporate Finance 70 00:04:50,365 --> 00:04:53,107 ? Even Jesus loves cash! ? 71 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:59,097 Carry on, we need the money. 72 00:04:59,122 --> 00:05:02,833 And with that, the Angel spread his arms wide 73 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:06,903 and, with great majesty, ascended into heaven. 74 00:05:16,455 --> 00:05:18,008 Er... Joyous day! 75 00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:19,290 How blessed we are! 76 00:05:19,315 --> 00:05:22,196 But we must hasten if we are to travel to Bethlehem 77 00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:23,822 before the holy child is born. 78 00:05:23,847 --> 00:05:26,869 Aye, Mary, I shall purchase a donkey to make the journey. 79 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:27,932 Oh, piss. 80 00:05:41,795 --> 00:05:44,136 These are also a gift from the Lord. 81 00:05:48,734 --> 00:05:51,133 Mary and Joseph purchased a donkey, 82 00:05:51,347 --> 00:05:53,851 loaded their few belongings onto its back 83 00:05:53,852 --> 00:05:56,332 and set off into the desert. 84 00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:06,588 Annie, Keep up. 85 00:06:06,613 --> 00:06:08,635 All right! I'll keep up. 86 00:06:09,331 --> 00:06:11,488 It's just... it's not easy. 87 00:06:17,148 --> 00:06:21,369 Mary, let me help you take the weight off your feet. 88 00:06:21,439 --> 00:06:22,416 No. 89 00:06:22,655 --> 00:06:24,079 No No. 90 00:06:24,377 --> 00:06:25,486 No. 91 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,190 Er, we'll walk. 92 00:06:29,161 --> 00:06:31,361 Farewell, good town of Nazareth. 93 00:06:39,484 --> 00:06:41,599 ? Little donkey 94 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:46,528 ? Little donkey on the dusty road 95 00:06:47,559 --> 00:06:51,475 ? Got to keep on plodding onwards 96 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:54,640 ? With your precious load 97 00:06:55,561 --> 00:06:59,335 ? Been a long time, little donkey - _ 98 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:02,742 ? Through the winter's night 99 00:07:03,453 --> 00:07:07,226 ? Don't give up now, little donkey 100 00:07:07,324 --> 00:07:10,781 ? Bethlehem's in sight 101 00:07:11,538 --> 00:07:15,187 ? Ring out those bells tonight - _ 102 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:19,461 ? Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem - _ 103 00:07:19,546 --> 00:07:23,292 ? Follow that star tonight 104 00:07:23,324 --> 00:07:27,079 ? Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem - _ 105 00:07:27,368 --> 00:07:31,088 ? Follow that star tonight 106 00:07:31,132 --> 00:07:35,414 ? Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem - _ 107 00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:39,444 ? Little donkey, little donkey - _ 108 00:07:39,477 --> 00:07:42,188 ? Had a heavy day 109 00:07:43,292 --> 00:07:45,500 ? Little donkey 110 00:07:45,539 --> 00:07:50,758 ? Carry Mary safely on her way. ? 111 00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:55,875 Look, Joseph! Bethlehem! 112 00:07:57,930 --> 00:07:59,436 You're sagging. 113 00:07:59,461 --> 00:08:02,336 Next time, I'm being the head and you're being the arse. 114 00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:06,993 Meanwhile, in a field far outside Bethlehem, 115 00:08:07,031 --> 00:08:10,055 three shepherds watched their flocks by night. 116 00:08:28,624 --> 00:08:30,223 Ay Barshabba. 117 00:08:30,255 --> 00:08:33,134 'Tis a mild winter's eve for... 118 00:08:33,852 --> 00:08:36,176 There it is. There it is. There's the fire alarm. 119 00:08:36,201 --> 00:08:38,075 Everyone, stay calm. Just stay in your seats. 120 00:08:38,076 --> 00:08:39,559 Fire! There's a fire! Fire! 121 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,211 No, it's a drill. It's a drill. 122 00:08:41,212 --> 00:08:44,332 - OK, OK, OK. - Everyone, stay calm, it won't be a moment. 123 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,653 Studio patrons, it has become necessary to evacuate the venue... 124 00:08:47,678 --> 00:08:49,318 No, no, no. It's just a drill. 125 00:08:49,373 --> 00:08:50,707 ..all personal belongings and make... 126 00:08:50,732 --> 00:08:52,159 No! We don't need to evacuate. 127 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,350 I can't hear you, Chris. 128 00:08:53,375 --> 00:08:54,553 Studio patrons, please... 129 00:08:54,578 --> 00:08:56,959 GO BACKSTAGE! All right? 130 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,567 - You've changed! Why have you changed!? - It's a fire. 131 00:08:59,592 --> 00:09:01,607 If there's a fire you're not supposed to get changed, 132 00:09:01,632 --> 00:09:02,920 you're supposed to get out. 133 00:09:02,945 --> 00:09:04,262 - Yep, everyone out. - No, no, no. 134 00:09:04,287 --> 00:09:06,646 Keep moving. Stand up, please. 135 00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:10,895 Chris, not again! Not again. 136 00:09:10,935 --> 00:09:13,670 I repeat. There is a fire! There is a fire! 137 00:09:13,695 --> 00:09:16,662 There's no fire. You moron! 138 00:09:19,271 --> 00:09:20,571 Merry Christmas. 139 00:09:21,118 --> 00:09:22,615 Let's continue. 140 00:09:22,893 --> 00:09:23,709 Here. 141 00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:24,740 Get off. 142 00:09:30,071 --> 00:09:34,071 Suddenly, in the sky above them, the shepherds saw a most majestic sight. 143 00:09:46,888 --> 00:09:49,986 Behold! The light of God! 144 00:09:51,338 --> 00:09:52,274 Underwhelming. 145 00:09:52,299 --> 00:09:54,963 Make a note - I need more fireworks for the final scene. 146 00:09:55,431 --> 00:09:57,334 I bring good tidings of great joy... 147 00:10:05,603 --> 00:10:06,822 Halo. 148 00:10:10,439 --> 00:10:11,643 Halo. 149 00:10:12,117 --> 00:10:13,460 Hello. 150 00:10:13,501 --> 00:10:14,415 No. 151 00:10:16,579 --> 00:10:17,845 Halo. 152 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:20,282 Hello. 153 00:10:20,307 --> 00:10:21,243 No! 154 00:10:21,563 --> 00:10:22,746 Halo! 155 00:10:22,771 --> 00:10:23,853 Over there! 156 00:10:29,184 --> 00:10:30,207 Hello. 157 00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:31,262 No! 158 00:10:31,488 --> 00:10:32,926 On the floor! 159 00:10:36,496 --> 00:10:37,691 Hello! 160 00:10:37,731 --> 00:10:38,731 No! 161 00:10:39,363 --> 00:10:40,683 Halo! 162 00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,043 Halo! 163 00:10:42,105 --> 00:10:43,807 Is it me you're looking for? 164 00:10:43,832 --> 00:10:44,691 No! 165 00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:47,931 The round, sparkly hat! All right? 166 00:10:47,932 --> 00:10:50,171 Give me my round sparkly hat! 167 00:10:50,613 --> 00:10:52,918 Not my personal one! 168 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:54,887 The halo. 169 00:11:01,051 --> 00:11:01,947 Higher! 170 00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:03,401 Hiya! 171 00:11:03,426 --> 00:11:05,176 No, higher! 172 00:11:05,512 --> 00:11:06,683 Hiya! 173 00:11:06,684 --> 00:11:08,027 Forget the halo. 174 00:11:08,379 --> 00:11:09,973 Be not afraid. JESUS! 175 00:11:11,035 --> 00:11:13,535 No, he isn't born yet, 176 00:11:13,855 --> 00:11:16,433 although that brings me neatly onto my next point. 177 00:11:16,691 --> 00:11:19,245 Jesus will be born and he shall be the King... 178 00:11:19,270 --> 00:11:21,160 ..OF KINGS. 179 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,752 You shall find a babe wrapped in swaddling shawls in a manger. 180 00:11:26,777 --> 00:11:29,656 To find him, you must follow this star. 181 00:11:32,629 --> 00:11:35,246 _ 182 00:11:38,243 --> 00:11:40,002 _ 183 00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:43,867 I am a messenger... 184 00:11:43,892 --> 00:11:45,820 ..FROM THE LORD! AH, AH, AH. 185 00:11:50,683 --> 00:11:52,972 GLORY BE TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST! 186 00:11:53,987 --> 00:11:56,581 And so the shepherds set off into the night, 187 00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:59,050 following the guiding star. 188 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,214 Just go off. Just go off. 189 00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:09,244 Meanwhile, in Herod's Palace, in Jerusalem... 190 00:12:11,388 --> 00:12:15,291 No, no. No, no, no. Stop. Stop. 191 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:20,535 ..King Herod had awoken from a troubled sleep. 192 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:28,667 All hail King Herod! 193 00:12:29,036 --> 00:12:30,251 Hail! 194 00:12:33,370 --> 00:12:36,741 I slept fitfully. My dreams... 195 00:12:44,842 --> 00:12:49,256 I slept fitfully. My dreams were full of dark portents... 196 00:12:50,076 --> 00:12:51,756 ..and grim tidings. 197 00:12:51,795 --> 00:12:54,270 What saw you in these dreams, Sire? 198 00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:56,574 Well, I saw a babe of great majesty. 199 00:12:56,599 --> 00:12:59,067 Yet... was wrapped in swaddling shawls. 200 00:12:59,092 --> 00:13:01,668 Oh, most troubling, Sire. 201 00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:04,545 It seems an evil omen looms high, indeed. 202 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:06,646 But I saw wise men drawing near. 203 00:13:06,671 --> 00:13:08,231 I know they are close. 204 00:13:08,256 --> 00:13:10,981 When sayest you these wise men come? 205 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,448 IMMINENTLY! 206 00:13:13,006 --> 00:13:16,857 By your word, King, here come three wise men! 207 00:13:17,857 --> 00:13:20,215 Stand by, curtain. No, no, no, we're not ready. 208 00:13:20,248 --> 00:13:21,537 We haven't got our trousers! 209 00:13:21,562 --> 00:13:23,717 - Cue curtain. - No. No, no, no, no, no. 210 00:13:38,239 --> 00:13:41,364 We've come to ask Herod for help to find the child. 211 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,941 - I am... - I am Melchior, 212 00:13:43,966 --> 00:13:45,512 Wise Man Number One. 213 00:13:45,637 --> 00:13:49,567 I am Caspar, also Wise Man Number One. 214 00:13:49,809 --> 00:13:52,012 And I am a shepherd. 215 00:13:52,176 --> 00:13:53,762 You're a wise man. 216 00:13:54,091 --> 00:13:55,323 Chris said I was an idiot. 217 00:13:55,324 --> 00:13:56,859 You're both. 218 00:13:56,860 --> 00:14:01,466 I am an idiot who is also wise... and a shepherd. 219 00:14:04,162 --> 00:14:06,160 You must approach King Herod. 220 00:14:06,185 --> 00:14:09,738 IT IS JUST LIKE MY DREADED DREAM SUGGESTS! GOOD WISE MEN! 221 00:14:09,763 --> 00:14:13,873 I CHARGE THEE, FIND THIS CHILD AND UPON HIS DISCOVERY GIVE ME WORD! 222 00:14:18,643 --> 00:14:20,424 Help, no! 223 00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:32,695 Continue. 224 00:14:36,171 --> 00:14:40,455 Our generous King shall furnish thee with gifts for the child. 225 00:14:49,783 --> 00:14:51,056 Gold. 226 00:14:56,035 --> 00:14:57,371 Frankincense. 227 00:15:02,410 --> 00:15:03,910 And myrrh. 228 00:15:07,809 --> 00:15:09,770 That's also for smelling. 229 00:15:10,204 --> 00:15:12,278 Thank you, generous King. 230 00:15:21,925 --> 00:15:23,752 I charge thee... 231 00:15:23,862 --> 00:15:25,698 deceived them with your guile. 232 00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:29,760 I shall unto my chambers and rest awhile. 233 00:15:46,698 --> 00:15:48,635 And on their return... 234 00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:49,823 Move. 235 00:15:50,081 --> 00:15:52,706 Move! Come on! 236 00:15:54,238 --> 00:15:57,852 On their return, I'll be his saboteur. 237 00:16:02,605 --> 00:16:06,535 Arriving to be counted in the census, Mary and Joseph 238 00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:09,222 made their way through the streets... 239 00:16:12,518 --> 00:16:16,596 Er, Ma-Mary and Joseph made their... 240 00:16:16,621 --> 00:16:21,939 MARY and Joseph made their way through the streets, 241 00:16:22,658 --> 00:16:24,814 along with their trusty donkey... 242 00:16:26,748 --> 00:16:29,760 ..who had one head and one arse. 243 00:16:30,944 --> 00:16:37,131 They needed a place to stay in the little town of Bethlehem. 244 00:16:49,482 --> 00:16:54,914 ? O little town of Bethlehem 245 00:16:54,939 --> 00:16:58,953 ? How still we see thee lie 246 00:16:59,726 --> 00:17:04,508 ? Above thy deep and dreamless sleep 247 00:17:04,633 --> 00:17:08,851 ? The silent stars go by... ? 248 00:17:10,012 --> 00:17:15,250 ? Aaaaaand in thy dark streets shineth 249 00:17:15,672 --> 00:17:19,789 ? The everlasting light 250 00:17:20,234 --> 00:17:26,992 ? The... hopes and fears of all the years 251 00:17:27,272 --> 00:17:32,961 ? Are met in thee to-oo-night 252 00:17:34,273 --> 00:17:38,639 ? For Christ is born of Mary and gathered all 253 00:17:38,664 --> 00:17:41,561 ? Above while mortals sleep, the angels keep 254 00:17:41,586 --> 00:17:45,796 ? Their watch of wondering love 255 00:17:45,821 --> 00:17:53,750 ? O morning stars together Proclaim the holy birth 256 00:17:54,225 --> 00:17:56,912 ? And praises sing to God the King 257 00:17:56,937 --> 00:17:58,654 ? And Peace to men on Earth 258 00:17:58,679 --> 00:18:01,506 ? No ear may hear His coming but in this world of 259 00:18:01,531 --> 00:18:04,351 ? Sin where meek souls will receive him still... 260 00:18:04,629 --> 00:18:09,672 ? The dear Christ enters in. ? 261 00:18:17,977 --> 00:18:23,493 Mary and Joseph went from door to door, looking for a room. 262 00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:29,060 Hello. I'm a stupid shepherd. 263 00:18:29,168 --> 00:18:30,863 Here's your myrrh. 264 00:18:32,148 --> 00:18:34,231 May God be with you, my friend. 265 00:18:34,255 --> 00:18:38,106 Please, I'm with child, have you room at your inn? 266 00:18:38,192 --> 00:18:39,177 Yes. 267 00:18:41,270 --> 00:18:43,833 - Yes? - Yes. 268 00:18:45,638 --> 00:18:46,638 OK. 269 00:18:48,263 --> 00:18:50,699 - No, no, no! - Yes. No. 270 00:18:50,724 --> 00:18:52,347 There's no room here. 271 00:18:52,372 --> 00:18:54,263 There's room at the third one. 272 00:18:55,669 --> 00:18:57,652 Fear not, my beloved Mary. 273 00:18:57,653 --> 00:19:00,160 I am sure we will find somewhere to rest. 274 00:19:00,161 --> 00:19:02,785 The good Lord watches over us. 275 00:19:06,421 --> 00:19:10,421 Hello. I am a wise man, here's your myrrh. 276 00:19:14,594 --> 00:19:16,769 OK, OK! 277 00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:19,768 You're an innkeeper now. Switch on! 278 00:19:20,921 --> 00:19:22,612 Have you any room? 279 00:19:24,401 --> 00:19:25,369 Yes. 280 00:19:26,201 --> 00:19:28,500 Ah! No, there's no room here. 281 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,932 Innkeeper slams door in their faces. 282 00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:38,593 Oh, Mary! We have searched high and low 283 00:19:38,648 --> 00:19:40,163 and there is only one inn left. 284 00:19:40,218 --> 00:19:42,523 Let's hope this innkeeper has room. 285 00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:44,820 Aah! Hello. 286 00:19:44,821 --> 00:19:46,036 Who are you? 287 00:19:46,037 --> 00:19:48,929 That's... John the Baptist. 288 00:19:51,521 --> 00:19:53,797 Hello. I'm... 289 00:19:55,312 --> 00:19:56,320 I'm... 290 00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,812 Jesus Christ. 291 00:19:57,837 --> 00:19:59,469 I'm Jesus Christ. 292 00:19:59,792 --> 00:20:01,519 The saviour is born! 293 00:20:01,805 --> 00:20:04,724 ? For unto us a child is born! ? 294 00:20:04,725 --> 00:20:06,520 No! That's cut. 295 00:20:06,521 --> 00:20:08,180 - Right, sorry. - Carry on. 296 00:20:08,226 --> 00:20:10,420 Yes. There's no room at the pub. 297 00:20:10,421 --> 00:20:11,781 - Inn! - OK. 298 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:12,945 No, out! 299 00:20:12,970 --> 00:20:14,452 There's no room at the out. 300 00:20:14,453 --> 00:20:15,797 - Inn! - All right. 301 00:20:15,822 --> 00:20:17,033 No! Get out! 302 00:20:17,161 --> 00:20:19,140 Get out! Get out! 303 00:20:19,165 --> 00:20:21,508 - No, not that! - Not that! 304 00:20:21,557 --> 00:20:23,609 There's no room at the inn! 305 00:20:23,664 --> 00:20:26,080 Oh, yes, yes! There's no room at the inn. 306 00:20:26,081 --> 00:20:29,390 All we have is an old, lowly manager. 307 00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:32,440 Manger! There's no manager. 308 00:20:32,441 --> 00:20:35,200 There's no manager? It's Christmas! 309 00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:37,876 I'll be the old, lowly manager. What do you want? 310 00:20:37,877 --> 00:20:39,796 - They want a room. - A broom? 311 00:20:39,797 --> 00:20:43,764 - No. A room. - Oh, a room! Sea view? 312 00:20:43,765 --> 00:20:47,514 Do you not even have a lowly stable where we could rest? 313 00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:48,640 I don't know, do we? 314 00:20:48,641 --> 00:20:49,445 - No, we don't. 315 00:20:49,469 --> 00:20:51,421 - No, we don't! - Yes, we do! 316 00:20:51,445 --> 00:20:54,445 - Do you work here, too? - Get inside! 317 00:20:59,415 --> 00:21:02,842 You two go and have your baby in the sodding manager! 318 00:21:02,867 --> 00:21:04,093 Manger.Arghh! 319 00:21:05,441 --> 00:21:07,304 Get on the donkey! 320 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:21,332 Move, just move. 321 00:21:21,333 --> 00:21:22,484 Next scene! 322 00:21:27,041 --> 00:21:30,417 Mary knew that soon her child would be born... 323 00:21:32,277 --> 00:21:36,894 ..as she entered the humble stable with animals all around. 324 00:21:45,778 --> 00:21:48,431 _ 325 00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:53,843 Oh, Joseph, I do hope these creatures will not begrudge us 326 00:21:53,868 --> 00:21:56,814 a little room in their stable for the night. 327 00:22:02,357 --> 00:22:04,916 We must rest now, my dearest Mary. 328 00:22:04,917 --> 00:22:07,950 Soon the son of God will be born. 329 00:22:08,321 --> 00:22:11,080 Just then, there came a knock at the stable door... 330 00:22:12,281 --> 00:22:14,132 ..and three wise men approached. 331 00:22:19,001 --> 00:22:21,621 We come bearing gifts. 332 00:22:21,881 --> 00:22:24,436 I offer you gold - 333 00:22:24,437 --> 00:22:28,437 standard accreditation for all your business loans. 334 00:22:30,709 --> 00:22:33,040 I offer you frank... 335 00:22:33,041 --> 00:22:37,041 'n' sensible advice on all your financial interests. 336 00:22:39,797 --> 00:22:42,040 And I offer you sustained 337 00:22:42,041 --> 00:22:45,363 low cost myrrh-gage rates. 338 00:22:48,771 --> 00:22:51,644 And look - three shepherds approach, also. 339 00:22:55,285 --> 00:22:57,400 Oh, it's not shepherds. 340 00:22:57,401 --> 00:23:00,171 It's more wise men. 341 00:23:02,261 --> 00:23:06,261 Mary, Joseph, and the six wise men 342 00:23:06,549 --> 00:23:09,344 awaited the birth of the baby Jesus. 343 00:23:10,023 --> 00:23:14,227 The shepherds had decided to sit this one out. 344 00:23:15,219 --> 00:23:18,274 Unless they were on the tab on the other side? 345 00:23:20,949 --> 00:23:23,412 No. No shepherds. 346 00:23:24,213 --> 00:23:26,717 Just nine wise men. 347 00:23:27,772 --> 00:23:29,740 It's like Mensa in here. 348 00:23:34,005 --> 00:23:38,005 All was quiet and still. 349 00:23:47,957 --> 00:23:51,640 ? Silent night 350 00:23:51,641 --> 00:23:55,480 ? Holy night... ? 351 00:23:57,045 --> 00:23:58,132 The second one. 352 00:23:58,133 --> 00:23:59,156 ? All is calm... ? 353 00:23:59,157 --> 00:24:00,436 Don't worry. 354 00:24:00,437 --> 00:24:02,191 ? All is bright... ? 355 00:24:02,216 --> 00:24:03,849 Can we turn it off, please? 356 00:24:04,277 --> 00:24:05,560 ? Round yon... ? 357 00:24:05,561 --> 00:24:08,240 ? Turn it off! Virgin... ? 358 00:24:08,265 --> 00:24:10,824 Cut the wires! ? ..And child... ? 359 00:24:10,849 --> 00:24:14,556 Cut the wires! ? Holy Infant... ? 360 00:24:14,581 --> 00:24:16,180 Just sing over the top. 361 00:24:16,181 --> 00:24:18,412 ? So tender and mild... ? 362 00:24:18,437 --> 00:24:19,732 Louder! 363 00:24:19,872 --> 00:24:23,684 ? Sleep in heavenly....? 364 00:24:23,733 --> 00:24:27,733 - Louder! - ? PEACE! ? 365 00:24:27,772 --> 00:24:29,288 ? Sleep in... 366 00:24:29,313 --> 00:24:31,045 ? Heavenly peace 367 00:24:35,843 --> 00:24:39,697 ? Silent night 368 00:24:39,947 --> 00:24:43,799 ? Holy night... ? 369 00:24:44,588 --> 00:24:45,877 Fire! 370 00:24:46,512 --> 00:24:47,873 Hot fire! 371 00:24:48,053 --> 00:24:49,908 - Fire alarm! - We've cut the wires. 372 00:24:49,909 --> 00:24:51,955 Fire blanket. Fire blanket! 373 00:24:52,121 --> 00:24:59,041 ? Glories stream from heaven afar 374 00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:02,556 ? Heavenly hosts... ? 375 00:25:02,581 --> 00:25:04,298 Out of the way. Out of the way! 376 00:25:04,323 --> 00:25:06,982 ? Hallelujah 377 00:25:07,847 --> 00:25:10,291 ? Christ... 378 00:25:11,861 --> 00:25:16,508 ? ..the Saviour is born... ? 379 00:25:16,533 --> 00:25:19,240 Heeyah! Heeyah! What are you doing?! 380 00:25:19,241 --> 00:25:21,040 Fighting fire with fire! 381 00:25:21,041 --> 00:25:22,759 Get off, you idiot! 382 00:25:22,784 --> 00:25:26,830 ? Christ the Saviour is born 383 00:25:28,573 --> 00:25:35,212 ? Christ the Saviour is born! ? 384 00:25:42,521 --> 00:25:44,248 And with that, the... 385 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:45,967 Please! 386 00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:54,292 And with that, the... story continued. 387 00:25:54,293 --> 00:25:56,201 I hear a choir of angels. 388 00:25:56,561 --> 00:25:58,388 The delivery is upon us. 389 00:25:58,389 --> 00:26:02,389 And the light of the Angel Gabriel shone down upon them. 390 00:26:13,173 --> 00:26:17,173 Behold the light... of God. 391 00:26:23,029 --> 00:26:25,652 And at that sacred moment... 392 00:26:28,405 --> 00:26:30,452 AND AT THAT SACRED MOMENT, 393 00:26:30,453 --> 00:26:33,145 THE HOLY SON OF THE LORD WAS BROUGHT 394 00:26:33,170 --> 00:26:34,670 FORTH INTO LIFE. 395 00:26:43,291 --> 00:26:45,151 Now that was more like it! 396 00:26:46,085 --> 00:26:47,824 Camera seven, camera seven! 397 00:26:47,849 --> 00:26:49,598 Get down! Get down! 398 00:26:50,133 --> 00:26:52,202 Down! Down! Down! Down! 399 00:26:53,302 --> 00:26:56,578 And at that sacred moment, 400 00:26:56,719 --> 00:26:58,684 the holy Son of the Lord 401 00:26:58,794 --> 00:27:01,481 was brought forth into life. 402 00:27:06,617 --> 00:27:07,868 He's beautiful. 403 00:27:07,893 --> 00:27:09,442 Hang on. Wait, wait. 404 00:27:09,968 --> 00:27:11,169 Hello. 405 00:27:11,937 --> 00:27:15,136 We shall call him Jesus. 406 00:27:15,161 --> 00:27:18,145 The three wise men approached... 407 00:27:24,702 --> 00:27:28,702 ..and knelt to give their gifts to the Christ Child. 408 00:27:31,802 --> 00:27:34,887 Gold, frankincense and myrrh. 409 00:27:36,396 --> 00:27:40,035 Thank you, wise men, for these kind gifts. 410 00:27:54,650 --> 00:27:57,077 And on that holy night, 411 00:27:57,304 --> 00:28:00,567 everyone in the stable stood looking proudly 412 00:28:00,693 --> 00:28:03,960 at the beautiful newborn babe. 413 00:28:04,372 --> 00:28:06,163 The end. 414 00:28:07,694 --> 00:28:11,160 No, no!No, no, no! No!No!No, no, no!No! 415 00:28:11,191 --> 00:28:14,832 _ 416 00:28:16,176 --> 00:28:19,465 CREDITS