1
00:00:08,751 --> 00:00:10,676
Okay, Mary, you're a big city girl

2
00:00:10,869 --> 00:00:13,161
who never stops to enjoy
the little things in life.

3
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,305
And today, it all pays off.

4
00:00:16,408 --> 00:00:18,333
Congratulations, Mary.

5
00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:21,503
All the movies you've produced
for the Heartmark Channel

6
00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:23,263
are huge hits!

7
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,190
I mean, Murder She Braised

8
00:00:25,342 --> 00:00:27,342
scored in every single
one of our key demos.

9
00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:31,271
Women 18 to 49 and women 49 and up.

10
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,924
Well, I'm very passionate
about telling stories

11
00:00:33,942 --> 00:00:35,776
about homemakers who solve mysteries.

12
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:38,520
How would you like to be president

13
00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:42,432
of our entire Homemaker
Mysteries division?

14
00:00:42,493 --> 00:00:44,117
Thank you, sir. When do I start?

15
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,436
What? Hey... oh, not so fast.

16
00:00:46,455 --> 00:00:48,789
One of our other movies is
in a little bit of trouble.

17
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,791
I need you to put out a few fires

18
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:54,945
on the set of A Christmas
Ornament for Christmas.

19
00:00:55,005 --> 00:00:57,222
A Christmas movie?

20
00:00:57,415 --> 00:00:58,891
Mary, this is Heartmark.

21
00:00:59,084 --> 00:01:01,118
Christmas movies are
our bread and butter.

22
00:01:01,178 --> 00:01:02,728
You get this one back on track,

23
00:01:02,921 --> 00:01:04,638
the promotion's yours.

24
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,140
I won't let you down.

25
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,883
But you hate Christmas.

26
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:11,719
No, I hate Christmas movies.

27
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:14,239
How can anyone hate Christmas movies?

28
00:01:14,432 --> 00:01:16,909
Trust me, I can.

29
00:01:17,102 --> 00:01:20,079
Look, if I want the promotion,
I have to do this.

30
00:01:20,272 --> 00:01:22,322
It's only for a few days.

31
00:01:22,474 --> 00:01:24,899
Ugh. You still don't know
how I take my coffee, do you?

32
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,144
Honey, we've been engaged for two years.

33
00:01:27,162 --> 00:01:28,736
When are you gonna
stop caring about that?

34
00:01:31,150 --> 00:01:32,907
So where are they sending you?

35
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,427
The last small town
that can pass for Canada

36
00:01:35,579 --> 00:01:37,487
passing for America
that didn't already have

37
00:01:37,548 --> 00:01:39,747
another one of our Christmas
movies shooting in it.

38
00:01:48,570 --> 00:01:49,212
So...

39
00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:50,500
real exciting having you

40
00:01:50,561 --> 00:01:52,352
big-city movie guys around.

41
00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:54,780
- Uh-huh.
- Christmas movie shot in the summer.

42
00:01:54,973 --> 00:01:56,840
Now, uh, why do youse do that?

43
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,766
Well, it's for a variety of reasons.

44
00:01:58,902 --> 00:02:00,360
Oh, reasons!

45
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,529
Yeah, yeah, I figured, yeah.

46
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:03,997
And here you are.

47
00:02:06,776 --> 00:02:09,091
Welcome to your Airbnb!

48
00:02:09,126 --> 00:02:10,871
You must be Mary Tannenbaum.

49
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:12,539
I'm Marge Simpson.

50
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,756
Homer, the bags!

51
00:02:14,791 --> 00:02:16,301
Yes, Mrs. Simpson.

52
00:02:19,715 --> 00:02:23,425
* Welcome to our humble home *

53
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:27,587
* We have chargers for your phone. *

54
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,040
You know, I'm really tired.

55
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,392
Of course, let me show you

56
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,987
to the Bartholomew suite.

57
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:37,805
Oh, I can't believe
Mom gave her my room.

58
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,475
She's gonna shed girl
particles all over it.

59
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,477
Shut up, boy,
we're all in this together.

60
00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:44,554
And by "we," I mean "me"

61
00:02:44,573 --> 00:02:48,477
bleeding this movie production
dry for 500 bucks a night.

62
00:02:48,512 --> 00:02:50,335
Fine, then I'm sleeping in my treehouse.

63
00:02:50,528 --> 00:02:52,045
Heh, good luck.

64
00:02:52,197 --> 00:02:53,988
I'm renting that out to
the sound effects guy.

65
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,796
Aw, man, what the...?

66
00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:01,588
Please tell me you have Wi-Fi.

67
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,016
Wi-Fi do, that's news to me.

68
00:03:10,119 --> 00:03:11,673
You work for Heartmark?

69
00:03:11,734 --> 00:03:14,084
- Mm.
- I've seen all the Christmas movies.

70
00:03:14,186 --> 00:03:16,253
Christmas at Cozy Manor.

71
00:03:16,355 --> 00:03:19,154
A Soldier for Mommy at Christmas.

72
00:03:19,189 --> 00:03:22,016
Okay, okay,
in Flyover Country Christmas,

73
00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:25,262
when Abigail found the
nest of reindeer eggs,

74
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:27,097
- what did she do...
- Look, I have no idea.

75
00:03:27,157 --> 00:03:29,433
I never work on Christmas movies.

76
00:03:30,556 --> 00:03:33,286
What? But they're the best ones.

77
00:03:33,439 --> 00:03:35,455
Not for me.

78
00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:37,382
I'm just here to put out a few fires

79
00:03:37,534 --> 00:03:40,277
and get home to the big
city and my surgeon fiancé.

80
00:03:40,337 --> 00:03:42,304
Sounds handsome.

81
00:03:44,577 --> 00:03:45,849
No rush.

82
00:03:51,194 --> 00:03:52,194
Ta-da!

83
00:03:52,257 --> 00:03:54,048
It's not the Sex and City brunches

84
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,460
you're used to, but we do all right.

85
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,553
I don't know what goes
on an everything bagel,

86
00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:01,222
so I just took a stab at it.

87
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:03,242
I actually don't eat bread.

88
00:04:03,435 --> 00:04:05,802
Or dairy or whatever those are.

89
00:04:05,862 --> 00:04:08,229
All right, gluten balls!

90
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,323
Mmm, mmm!

91
00:04:12,855 --> 00:04:13,862
Ms. Tannenbaum?

92
00:04:13,945 --> 00:04:16,523
Do you mind if I shoot a
behind-the-scenes documentary

93
00:04:16,558 --> 00:04:19,332
about the movie to earn my
Little Filmmaker merit badge?

94
00:04:19,485 --> 00:04:22,335
I-I don't really know
how to talk to kids.

95
00:04:22,488 --> 00:04:23,929
Neither do I!

96
00:04:24,507 --> 00:04:25,747
I'll see you on set.

97
00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:29,245
Look, I'll just grab
something on my way.

98
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,385
Thanks so much.

99
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:34,481
Oh, why don't more foods
come in "everything"?

100
00:04:36,134 --> 00:04:37,943
What can I get you, hon?

101
00:04:38,136 --> 00:04:40,854
I'll have an extra-tall, nonfat,
triple-vegan espresso mocha,

102
00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:43,115
clean white, two-pump,
half-barley water,

103
00:04:43,266 --> 00:04:45,175
half-macadamia milk with room for air.

104
00:04:46,210 --> 00:04:47,293
We got regular

105
00:04:47,346 --> 00:04:49,604
and we got griddle drippings.

106
00:04:51,653 --> 00:04:53,383
I'm sorry, is something funny?

107
00:04:53,443 --> 00:04:56,495
Oh, just you city folk
and your legume milks.

108
00:04:56,646 --> 00:04:58,905
That and this Pearls Before Swine comic.

109
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:01,241
I was laughing at both
things simultaneously.

110
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:04,244
Well, at least in the city,
we don't all die at 60

111
00:05:04,396 --> 00:05:06,623
from butter-clogged heart failure.

112
00:05:06,658 --> 00:05:07,659
No, don't go.

113
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,733
Maybe they've got some
lentils you can milk.

114
00:05:09,793 --> 00:05:11,760
Or acorns.

115
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,421
Ah, city folk.

116
00:05:15,574 --> 00:05:17,907
They don't know the joys
of small-town diners.

117
00:05:17,968 --> 00:05:20,685
Like yelling gossip
across a crowded room.

118
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,688
Hey, Sea Captain, how's the IBS?

119
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:26,650
Yarr, if I'm calm, it's calm.

120
00:05:28,511 --> 00:05:30,587
You tell Markie Post
that if she's got issues

121
00:05:30,647 --> 00:05:32,939
with the script, I can have
Swoosie Kurtz on the next plane

122
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,699
out here and for half her price.

123
00:05:34,892 --> 00:05:36,442
And if Swoosie Kurtz
has a problem with that,

124
00:05:36,595 --> 00:05:38,036
Annie Potts is already here.

125
00:05:38,229 --> 00:05:40,038
Great work, Mary,
but we've got more problems.

126
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:42,782
One... I directed a hundred of these,
they're all the same.

127
00:05:42,918 --> 00:05:45,435
Two... our gazebo guy has come down

128
00:05:45,453 --> 00:05:47,954
with a nasty case of
carpenter's divorce.

129
00:05:49,369 --> 00:05:53,126
Oh, why didn't I lock my iPad?!

130
00:05:53,278 --> 00:05:54,944
Great. How will people know

131
00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:57,556
this Christmas town is quaint
without multiple gazebos?

132
00:05:57,707 --> 00:05:59,299
And when you got that figured out,

133
00:05:59,451 --> 00:06:02,302
some local nutjob has taken
down our Christmas stuff.

134
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,396
Ugh. I'll take care of it.

135
00:06:05,784 --> 00:06:07,430
Ugh. It's you.

136
00:06:07,465 --> 00:06:08,625
What do you think you're doing?

137
00:06:08,685 --> 00:06:11,385
I'm setting up the town's annual
Lettuce and Tomato Festival.

138
00:06:11,446 --> 00:06:14,314
It's our summertime tradition
in honor of too-oft eaten,

139
00:06:14,466 --> 00:06:17,242
but seldom celebrated
workhorses of barbecue season.

140
00:06:17,393 --> 00:06:18,651
The whole town turns out.

141
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,637
We're trying to shoot a movie here.

142
00:06:20,697 --> 00:06:23,888
Well, if your movie is
anything like your gazebos,

143
00:06:23,923 --> 00:06:25,900
you're looking at some
major structure problems,

144
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,419
and I should know.

145
00:06:29,539 --> 00:06:31,256
Hmm. How about this?

146
00:06:31,449 --> 00:06:33,407
You build our gazebos,
and I'll make sure

147
00:06:33,543 --> 00:06:35,668
they halt production
for your little festival.

148
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,762
Mm. All right, you've got,

149
00:06:37,955 --> 00:06:40,849
as you say in the big city, a deal.

150
00:06:47,784 --> 00:06:50,350
And... good enough.
Or whatever. Who cares really?

151
00:06:52,062 --> 00:06:54,187
Okay, movie's back on schedule,
under budget,

152
00:06:54,339 --> 00:06:57,264
and our shipment of cozy scarves
was released from customs.

153
00:06:57,326 --> 00:06:59,676
Ah, looks like mission accomplished,
Mary.

154
00:06:59,736 --> 00:07:01,268
You know it, Cab Driver.

155
00:07:01,330 --> 00:07:03,288
I can't wait to get home to my condo,

156
00:07:03,439 --> 00:07:05,978
my gay best friend and
my surgeon fiancé.

157
00:07:06,013 --> 00:07:07,684
And I'll never have to work on a...

158
00:07:07,744 --> 00:07:10,473
Christmas movie again.

159
00:07:13,118 --> 00:07:14,966
-
- Hello, sir.

160
00:07:15,118 --> 00:07:16,951
Yes, everything's been taken care of.

161
00:07:17,054 --> 00:07:19,712
You want me to stay
for the entire shoot?

162
00:07:19,865 --> 00:07:22,123
And if I leave I won't
get the promotion?

163
00:07:22,225 --> 00:07:25,485
And I have an annoying way
of talking on the phone?

164
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,619
Yes, sir.

165
00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:30,565
It had to be a Christmas movie.

166
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,530
But Samantha,
I can't go caroling with you.

167
00:07:36,587 --> 00:07:38,323
Your Christmas megastore's gonna put

168
00:07:38,371 --> 00:07:40,641
my mom-and-pop ornament
shop out of business.

169
00:07:40,702 --> 00:07:43,802
Oh, Bruce,
all I cared about was my career,

170
00:07:43,837 --> 00:07:45,931
but then we had that
moment at Christmas Creek,

171
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,709
and things changed.

172
00:07:47,744 --> 00:07:48,745
Cut! Cut!

173
00:07:48,785 --> 00:07:50,393
You idiots are using the names

174
00:07:50,412 --> 00:07:52,228
from the last one of these we shot.

175
00:07:52,288 --> 00:07:54,655
You're Sondra and Jeff now.

176
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,916
Don't worry.
We can just dub the names in later.

177
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,492
Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

178
00:07:58,512 --> 00:07:59,903
None of this matters.

179
00:07:59,963 --> 00:08:02,405
All right, moving on to the... Ooh.

180
00:08:02,424 --> 00:08:05,909
...the golden retriever
Christmas sweater fashion show.

181
00:08:09,439 --> 00:08:11,138
Simpson House Airbnb...

182
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,216
home of the original gluten ball.

183
00:08:13,276 --> 00:08:15,159
Free parking on Flanders' lawn.

184
00:08:15,311 --> 00:08:18,162
Oh, Dad, the house is too full already.

185
00:08:18,355 --> 00:08:20,164
I slept in the bathtub last night.

186
00:08:20,357 --> 00:08:23,484
I woke up with drain marks on my face.

187
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,985
Suck it up, Drain Face.

188
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,654
This movie production's a gold mine.

189
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:31,567
Hey, how would you fellas like
to sleep in my marital bed?

190
00:08:31,586 --> 00:08:33,511
- Hmm.
- Oh!

191
00:08:33,704 --> 00:08:37,849
Yup. Nothing like the magic of
a fully-funded Hollywood set.

192
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:41,686
Hmm. Who to gouge? Who to gouge?

193
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,856
Well, bad news.
We're all out of fake snow.

194
00:08:45,049 --> 00:08:46,524
So use one of the other brands...

195
00:08:46,717 --> 00:08:49,268
Drift King, Flurry Slurry,
Blizzard Butter.

196
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,528
No, there's none left.

197
00:08:50,721 --> 00:08:52,196
Heartmark is shooting at least

198
00:08:52,348 --> 00:08:54,515
50 other Christmas movies as we speak.

199
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:56,183
I don't care how much it costs.

200
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,851
Just find me some fake snow.

201
00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:00,854
Fake snow? More like easy dough.

202
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:04,191
How hard could it be to find
white stuff to grind up?

203
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,469
Would you mind taking a break?

204
00:09:40,571 --> 00:09:41,971
We're about to shoot the pivotal scene

205
00:09:42,031 --> 00:09:43,397
where the two leads realize

206
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,916
they're starting to like each other.

207
00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:46,642
Well, well,

208
00:09:46,661 --> 00:09:49,087
the big city gal is
telling me to slow down.

209
00:09:49,238 --> 00:09:51,071
There's a humorous reversal for you.

210
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,815
The gazebos look great.

211
00:09:52,917 --> 00:09:54,575
You're very talented.

212
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,594
Oh, only with my hands.

213
00:10:01,959 --> 00:10:05,010
Hey there! What a nice surprise!

214
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,920
Hey, babe.
How are things in the boondocks?

215
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,497
God, you must be miserable.

216
00:10:08,558 --> 00:10:12,001
Oh, yeah, I'm surrounded
by a bunch of backwoods,

217
00:10:12,061 --> 00:10:14,019
lotto-scratching, monster-truck-driving,

218
00:10:14,172 --> 00:10:15,838
Big-Gulp-guzzling bumpkins.

219
00:10:15,898 --> 00:10:18,190
I can't wait to go back to the city.

220
00:10:18,343 --> 00:10:21,026
Well, it'll all be worth it when
you get your big promotion...

221
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,454
movie executive for a
greeting card company.

222
00:10:23,647 --> 00:10:25,581
See? I listen.

223
00:10:30,355 --> 00:10:31,921
Ah.

224
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:34,941
Mm.

225
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,386
Okay, there's nowhere else to sleep.

226
00:10:40,421 --> 00:10:41,848
I have no choice.

227
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,383
! Ay, caramba!

228
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:47,186
Okay, ladies, let's get this over with.

229
00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:52,291
Ah!

230
00:10:55,471 --> 00:10:58,040
No more girlie stuff. Lights out.

231
00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:01,526
As you wish, Prince Pajama Foot.

232
00:11:15,491 --> 00:11:17,491
Most people think the
capital is New York,

233
00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:18,867
but it's Albany.

234
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:21,679
Most people.

235
00:11:21,872 --> 00:11:24,331
Oh, my God. She's sleep-nerding.

236
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,673
Can I sleep in here with you guys?

237
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,916
Aah!

238
00:11:34,018 --> 00:11:36,360
Oh, sorry, kid, no room at the inn.

239
00:11:36,553 --> 00:11:38,254
That's it!

240
00:11:38,356 --> 00:11:40,489
I am getting my room back!

241
00:11:44,186 --> 00:11:45,928
- Tough day?
- Aah!

242
00:11:45,988 --> 00:11:47,596
Would you like some tea?

243
00:11:47,657 --> 00:11:49,690
I found the brand Gwyneth Paltrow likes.

244
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:52,435
I think you take it orally.

245
00:11:52,453 --> 00:11:54,620
Well, do you have any wine?

246
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,606
Wine? Why, yes. Yes, I do.

247
00:11:58,438 --> 00:12:01,444
I'm moving into
"quirky best friend" territory.

248
00:12:01,504 --> 00:12:03,112
So, we were supposed to shoot

249
00:12:03,172 --> 00:12:05,812
the big Christmas tree
lighting scene tomorrow,

250
00:12:05,847 --> 00:12:06,949
but it turns out Springfield has

251
00:12:07,051 --> 00:12:09,227
a very aggressive beaver population.

252
00:12:11,255 --> 00:12:14,640
So no more big town-wide celebration.

253
00:12:14,792 --> 00:12:16,234
But you need that!

254
00:12:16,427 --> 00:12:19,498
That's the part in every
Heartmark Christmas movie

255
00:12:19,533 --> 00:12:20,721
where everybody comes together,

256
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:24,300
and the jaded outsider
is finally won over.

257
00:12:24,402 --> 00:12:28,393
Well, we don't have the
time or money or creativity

258
00:12:28,428 --> 00:12:29,805
to come up with something new.

259
00:12:29,824 --> 00:12:33,251
So unless Springfield already
has some big event tomorrow,

260
00:12:33,402 --> 00:12:36,754
that's already decorated
in Christmas colors...

261
00:12:52,642 --> 00:12:53,686
Great work, Mary.

262
00:12:53,721 --> 00:12:55,673
This movie just might be good enough

263
00:12:55,766 --> 00:12:57,149
to fold laundry to.

264
00:12:57,285 --> 00:12:59,301
How are you gonna
explain all the produce

265
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:01,303
and people wearing shorts?

266
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,063
Eh, so long
as the attractive white people

267
00:13:03,124 --> 00:13:06,083
make with the closed-mouth smooches,
nobody's complaining.

268
00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:10,737
What is going on here?

269
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:12,906
I leave to pick up my I-heart-Bibb bibs,

270
00:13:12,967 --> 00:13:17,002
and you turn my summer festival
into a-a-a holiday set piece!

271
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:19,221
I thought we had a deal.

272
00:13:21,672 --> 00:13:24,176
But look,
everyone's having a great time.

273
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,753
Hey, Skinner, I never thought
the Lettice and Tomato Festival

274
00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:29,348
could get any better... but Christmas!

275
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:33,527
Yeah. Makes Okratoberfest
seem ridiculous in comparison.

276
00:13:36,490 --> 00:13:38,523
All I gotta do is ruin this movie.

277
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,692
Then I get my room back.

278
00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:42,494
Hmm. Hmm...

279
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,737
- Whoa! Hey!
- Hey!

280
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:57,134
Aw, no, this is the worst
thing to happen to this movie

281
00:13:57,327 --> 00:13:58,785
since someone wrote it.

282
00:13:58,846 --> 00:14:01,472
Okay, that's a wrap for today.

283
00:14:01,665 --> 00:14:04,624
- Help. Help!
- Help! Help, help!

284
00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:06,710
We're trapped.

285
00:14:08,293 --> 00:14:10,189
It had to be a Christmas movie.

286
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:17,154
Zero bars.

287
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,806
Well, we'll just have
to dig our way out.

288
00:14:20,984 --> 00:14:23,643
Aah! What the hell
is this fake snow made of?

289
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,220
I have no idea.

290
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:27,313
We paid some local lunatic
to grind it for us.

291
00:14:27,375 --> 00:14:29,074
Well, I hope you're happy.

292
00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:31,410
First you ruin my festival,
and now this.

293
00:14:31,562 --> 00:14:32,986
People loved it!

294
00:14:33,047 --> 00:14:35,747
You heard that pair of nuclear
engineering simpletons.

295
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:37,582
Oh, Lenny and Carl like everything.

296
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:38,992
That's their affect.

297
00:14:39,703 --> 00:14:41,086
Is it getting hotter in here?

298
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:43,422
It would appear our
heated verbal sparring

299
00:14:43,574 --> 00:14:45,257
is upping the temperature
in this confined space.

300
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:47,351
Well, I guess
we should agree not to talk.

301
00:14:47,544 --> 00:14:49,144
- Fine.
- Fine.

302
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,533
Um, maybe this'll cool you down.

303
00:15:04,038 --> 00:15:05,085
Thanks.

304
00:15:11,085 --> 00:15:13,618
Look, I'm sorry I ruined your festival.

305
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:16,029
No, you made it better.

306
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:19,199
People seemed to actually be
showing up on purpose this year.

307
00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:21,443
Springfield's lucky to
have someone like you

308
00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:23,779
who cares so much about
small-town values.

309
00:15:27,101 --> 00:15:28,617
Sure is hot in here.

310
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:30,619
Perhaps we should huddle closer.

311
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:31,937
For coolness.

312
00:15:41,431 --> 00:15:42,555
Good morning.

313
00:15:42,616 --> 00:15:43,949
How did you get out?

314
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:45,743
Well, luckily, the fake snow hardened,

315
00:15:45,936 --> 00:15:47,727
and I was able to dig my way out

316
00:15:47,788 --> 00:15:50,414
with this shoehorn I
always carry on my person.

317
00:15:50,607 --> 00:15:52,124
God, you're handy.

318
00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:55,586
One extra-tall, nonfat,
triple-vegan espresso mocha,

319
00:15:55,779 --> 00:15:57,588
clean white, two-pump,
half-barley water,

320
00:15:57,781 --> 00:16:00,406
half-macadamia milk with room for air.

321
00:16:00,468 --> 00:16:03,427
- You remembered.
- Who could forget it?

322
00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:09,508
Mary?

323
00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:11,843
So this is why you
didn't answer my calls.

324
00:16:11,937 --> 00:16:13,512
No! It's not what it looks like!

325
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,939
He's just the gazebo builder.

326
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:22,170
You took my room from me, movie lady.

327
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,782
And now it's payback time.

328
00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:27,785
Hey, everybody! Want to see
what this Heartmark phony

329
00:16:27,953 --> 00:16:29,661
really thinks of you?

330
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:33,698
My footage!

331
00:16:34,635 --> 00:16:35,638
Oh. Yeah.

332
00:16:35,669 --> 00:16:38,796
I'm surrounded by a bunch of backwoods,
lotto-scratching,

333
00:16:38,989 --> 00:16:40,130
monster-truck-driving,

334
00:16:40,323 --> 00:16:41,781
Big Gulp-guzzling bumpkins.

335
00:16:42,968 --> 00:16:46,028
But we opened our hearts to you.

336
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,472
I let myself be whimsical
in front of you!

337
00:16:48,665 --> 00:16:52,125
How dare you not be charmed by us.

338
00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,482
I may drive a monster truck,

339
00:16:58,633 --> 00:17:01,652
but the real monster is she!

340
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,615
Wait! I didn't mean it!

341
00:17:07,684 --> 00:17:09,934
And we know all about
your plans to sell the town

342
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,179
to that big developer who
wants to turn it into condos.

343
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,774
No, I'm not. How would I sell the town?

344
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,259
Yeah, all right. Forget I said anything.

345
00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:18,777
I took a shot. I whiffed it.

346
00:17:18,929 --> 00:17:20,019
Let's just... move on.

347
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,538
Mary, you got to do something.

348
00:17:21,731 --> 00:17:24,207
Without these Big Gulp-guzzling
bumpkins as extras,

349
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,101
we can't finish the movie.

350
00:17:26,161 --> 00:17:27,769
Come back, everyone!

351
00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:29,337
Come back.

352
00:17:31,866 --> 00:17:35,052
I love it when a shoot falls apart.

353
00:17:42,177 --> 00:17:44,394
I was sent here to put out fires.

354
00:17:46,223 --> 00:17:49,808
How could you say those hurtful
things about Springfield?

355
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:53,386
I'm sorry, but working on
this movie's been so painful.

356
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:56,648
For me, Christmas is the least
wonderful time of the year.

357
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,300
But the song says "the most."

358
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:00,285
I know what the song says!

359
00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:05,248
There's a reason I
hate Christmas movies.

360
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,253
It all started one winter,

361
00:18:10,446 --> 00:18:12,330
when a movie production came to town.

362
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:14,925
My dad thought it'd be
fun to be an extra.

363
00:18:15,118 --> 00:18:17,152
They cast him as a store employee

364
00:18:17,254 --> 00:18:19,412
in a scene where crazed
parents stormed in

365
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,247
to get the hottest toy.

366
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:22,915
He was trampled to death.

367
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,917
You can still see his
last moments on Earth

368
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,086
in the trailer for...

369
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:29,755
Jingle All the Way.

370
00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:33,610
And now I've lost everything,

371
00:18:33,803 --> 00:18:35,612
my fiancé, my dream job

372
00:18:35,805 --> 00:18:36,947
and, worst of all,

373
00:18:37,098 --> 00:18:39,190
the respect of a small town.

374
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:41,860
Then you do like Springfield.

375
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,361
I've come to love this place,

376
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:45,180
with its homespun ways,

377
00:18:45,198 --> 00:18:46,790
its earnest, hardworking folk

378
00:18:46,983 --> 00:18:49,534
and its wonderful airbed-and-breakfasts.

379
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,035
I guess what I'm saying is,

380
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,255
I'm really gonna miss you all.

381
00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:59,136
Airport, please.

382
00:18:59,287 --> 00:19:00,378
Right away.

383
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,472
I just got to make one quick stop.

384
00:19:04,759 --> 00:19:07,535
The simple townsfolk
are rebuilding the set!

385
00:19:07,596 --> 00:19:09,312
It's a miracle!

386
00:19:09,464 --> 00:19:12,965
We're gonna be able to finish
this piece of crap after all.

387
00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:17,261
You. But how?

388
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:20,490
I gave a rousing speech about
how our Gulps might be big

389
00:19:20,683 --> 00:19:22,384
and our trucks might be monster

390
00:19:22,444 --> 00:19:24,903
but our hearts are enlarged as well.

391
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,406
And I secretly filmed you
saying nice things to my mom.

392
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,001
And I showed the whole town.

393
00:19:31,194 --> 00:19:34,171
Yeah, and we saw that was
the real youse.

394
00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,341
Thank you for showing me
that small towns

395
00:19:38,493 --> 00:19:40,177
are the best-sized towns of all

396
00:19:40,370 --> 00:19:42,846
and Christmas movies
are the best movies,

397
00:19:42,997 --> 00:19:44,681
because everything always works out,

398
00:19:44,874 --> 00:19:46,683
no matter how contrived.

399
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,019
Now let's finish this movie.

400
00:19:50,713 --> 00:19:52,022
Mary, wait, I...

401
00:19:52,215 --> 00:19:53,523
I don't know what
happened in that gazebo,

402
00:19:53,716 --> 00:19:54,791
but I don't care!

403
00:19:54,884 --> 00:19:56,008
So who's it gonna be,

404
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:57,485
me or him?

405
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,031
Darling, you're perfect.

406
00:20:01,224 --> 00:20:03,608
But maybe life isn't about perfect.

407
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,851
Skinner...
I don't know your first name...

408
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,354
you're the one who remembered
how I like my coffee,

409
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:10,540
and that's why I choose you.

410
00:20:10,733 --> 00:20:12,209
Aw!

411
00:20:13,161 --> 00:20:15,361
Are you nuts? Pick him!

412
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:16,955
He's a thousand times better than me.

413
00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:18,289
He's a surgeon.

414
00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:20,217
A handsome surgeon.

415
00:20:20,410 --> 00:20:21,459
What was your plan?

416
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,868
Were you gonna move here?

417
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,554
Were we gonna share a car?

418
00:20:24,706 --> 00:20:27,849
I'm getting dizzy just thinking
about your poor decision-making.

419
00:20:30,402 --> 00:20:31,453
This is twice now.

420
00:20:31,513 --> 00:20:33,146
I know.

421
00:20:56,779 --> 00:20:58,480
That was the worst movie I've ever seen.

422
00:20:58,540 --> 00:21:00,757
That snow looked so fake.

423
00:21:00,908 --> 00:21:02,575
Mom, uh...

424
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:03,651
no.

425
00:21:03,712 --> 00:21:05,077
I don't care!

426
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,488
These movies are for moms

427
00:21:06,548 --> 00:21:09,173
and their wine and a cozy throw blanket

428
00:21:09,326 --> 00:21:11,417
and a candle that
smells like a pine tree

429
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:13,419
or hot apples.

430
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:14,771
If you're not any of those things,

431
00:21:14,964 --> 00:21:17,181
scram before the next one starts.

432
00:21:29,992 --> 00:21:31,070
Shh!

433
00:21:34,284 --> 00:21:37,342
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