1 00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:05,973 My mom used to tell me 2 00:00:05,997 --> 00:00:08,108 never to judge people until you know their story. 3 00:00:08,132 --> 00:00:09,343 Yeah. I can do that. 4 00:00:16,907 --> 00:00:19,453 You might think you understand, 5 00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:20,520 but you don't. 6 00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:25,859 That's why, as a patient, 7 00:00:25,883 --> 00:00:28,629 it's important to have an advocate. 8 00:00:33,424 --> 00:00:34,635 Perfect timing. 9 00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:36,837 I just finished my last tele-health patient. 10 00:00:36,861 --> 00:00:38,872 Oh, I just woke up. 11 00:00:38,896 --> 00:00:40,807 Aw. How'd you sleep? 12 00:00:40,831 --> 00:00:42,542 Would have slept better if you were laying next to me. 13 00:00:42,566 --> 00:00:47,080 Someone to tell your story, to be your voice... 14 00:00:47,104 --> 00:00:49,416 ...to say your name. 15 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,919 Especially when you don't have the voice yourself. 16 00:00:52,943 --> 00:00:55,055 The great divide 17 00:00:55,079 --> 00:00:57,424 Her oxygen requirements have come down this much? 18 00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,993 Ah. Cytokine storm's leveling off, too. 19 00:01:00,017 --> 00:01:02,829 I mean, look at her CRP, ferritin. 20 00:01:02,853 --> 00:01:04,097 That is great. 21 00:01:04,121 --> 00:01:05,799 Oh, I ordered a repeat chest X-ray 22 00:01:05,823 --> 00:01:07,467 to see if the infiltrates are decreasing, too. 23 00:01:07,491 --> 00:01:09,336 You talk to her? She feel any better? 24 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,904 Just long enough to tell her that we got her into 25 00:01:10,928 --> 00:01:13,173 the drug trial. But she's pretty exhausted. 26 00:01:13,197 --> 00:01:15,008 Well, it's probably the side effects. 27 00:01:15,032 --> 00:01:17,978 And she can sleep all day if these numbers keep improving. 28 00:01:18,002 --> 00:01:19,145 Keep me posted. 29 00:01:20,971 --> 00:01:23,016 Jo? Good morning. 30 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,385 It's time to get up. 31 00:01:30,514 --> 00:01:32,459 God, will you shut up? I'm awake. 32 00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:34,895 Oh, okay. Are you going to work? 33 00:01:34,919 --> 00:01:36,296 Yes. 34 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:38,598 At the regular time or...? 35 00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:42,669 Everything okay? 36 00:01:42,693 --> 00:01:45,172 Oh, yeah, everything's great. 37 00:01:45,196 --> 00:01:47,140 I barely get to operate anymore, 38 00:01:47,164 --> 00:01:50,377 and when I do, they don't even recover enough to go home. 39 00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:51,712 Oh, and how could I forget 40 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:55,449 the refrigerator truck full of dead bodies 41 00:01:55,473 --> 00:01:57,684 that I get to pass on the way from the parking lot 42 00:01:57,708 --> 00:01:59,478 to the hospital? 43 00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:01,521 The only reason I'm still in bed 44 00:02:01,545 --> 00:02:04,725 is that I am paralyzed with excitement. 45 00:02:06,917 --> 00:02:09,062 - So you're going? - Why do you care? 46 00:02:09,086 --> 00:02:12,132 My bike has a flat tire, and you're my ride. 47 00:02:13,924 --> 00:02:16,570 She said the salad I made was too small. 48 00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,839 So I go back and make her a bigger one. 49 00:02:18,863 --> 00:02:21,041 She says I must hate her because it's too big. 50 00:02:21,065 --> 00:02:22,541 - Mm. - I just can't win. 51 00:02:22,565 --> 00:02:24,077 No, she appreciates you, Dad. 52 00:02:24,101 --> 00:02:26,079 It's not her. It's the dementia. 53 00:02:26,103 --> 00:02:28,849 Knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less. 54 00:02:28,873 --> 00:02:29,916 We're gonna get through this. 55 00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:32,419 We? I only see you on the phone. 56 00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:35,055 And you can't even bother to hold the thing still. 57 00:02:35,079 --> 00:02:36,423 I have a hospital to run. 58 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,091 And I didn't know there'd be a pandemic. 59 00:02:38,115 --> 00:02:39,926 Ben's sister gets to stay with you. 60 00:02:39,950 --> 00:02:42,062 To... With the boys. 61 00:02:42,086 --> 00:02:43,930 Who I don't see either. 62 00:02:43,954 --> 00:02:46,032 Ben's staying at the station, 63 00:02:46,056 --> 00:02:49,436 and half the time, I'm too tired to make it to my hotel. 64 00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:53,273 I promise Silver Villas is more comfortable than my office. 65 00:02:53,297 --> 00:02:56,376 I just hate this. I hate all of it. 66 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,444 It's not fair. 67 00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:59,780 Well, COVID's not big on fair. 68 00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,114 Listen, I have to go. 69 00:03:01,138 --> 00:03:03,041 I love you. 70 00:03:04,074 --> 00:03:06,286 Don't go outside, Dad, okay? It's not safe. 71 00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:09,222 Tell your mom that. She's the one always trying to leave. 72 00:03:09,246 --> 00:03:11,224 I love you, too. 73 00:03:12,983 --> 00:03:14,795 Dr. Wakeman to Neurology. 74 00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,830 Dr. Wakeman to Neurology. 75 00:03:19,156 --> 00:03:20,534 Ah. Good morning, Avery. 76 00:03:20,558 --> 00:03:21,735 Not really. 77 00:03:21,759 --> 00:03:23,270 You know how many trachs I've had to do this week 78 00:03:23,294 --> 00:03:25,238 on long-term vent patients 'cause of COVID? 79 00:03:25,262 --> 00:03:27,274 No, but I have a feeling you're gonna tell me. 80 00:03:27,298 --> 00:03:28,809 11, Richard. 81 00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,334 Gonna be 12 in about an hour, 82 00:03:30,358 --> 00:03:31,778 and this number's gonna keep on going up, 83 00:03:31,802 --> 00:03:34,281 which is why I need you to help me with this. 84 00:03:34,305 --> 00:03:36,116 Oh, when did your mother go to San Francisco? 85 00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:38,952 What? No, no. That's a... That's a fake video background 86 00:03:38,976 --> 00:03:40,587 for when she talks to Harriet. That's not the point. Look. 87 00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:42,189 You want her to change the background? 88 00:03:42,213 --> 00:03:44,591 I want you to get your wife to wear a damn mask, okay? 89 00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:47,227 She's in a germ-collecting car with her driver with no mask. 90 00:03:47,251 --> 00:03:48,829 She wears masks. 91 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:50,096 On her chin, okay, 92 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,933 or dangling from her ear like a weird piece of jewelry. 93 00:03:52,957 --> 00:03:55,869 She is living with cancer. She is immunocompromised. 94 00:03:55,893 --> 00:03:57,103 I got to get to surgery. 95 00:03:57,127 --> 00:03:59,272 Just get her to wear the stupid mask correctly, please. 96 00:03:59,296 --> 00:04:00,707 Well, you know what it's like 97 00:04:00,731 --> 00:04:02,175 to get your mother to do something! 98 00:04:02,199 --> 00:04:04,968 Yeah, that's why I'm calling for reinforcements. 99 00:04:08,005 --> 00:04:10,684 Val Ashton, status post right hepatectomy 100 00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:11,952 with segments 5 through 8 101 00:04:11,976 --> 00:04:14,187 due to bleeding from hepatic pregnancy. 102 00:04:14,211 --> 00:04:15,121 Her drains were pulled two days ago, 103 00:04:15,145 --> 00:04:17,023 but this morning she's tachy to 120, 104 00:04:17,047 --> 00:04:18,191 her BP has decreased, 105 00:04:18,215 --> 00:04:20,527 and transaminases and bili are both trending upwards. 106 00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,462 She's kind, giving, successful, 107 00:04:22,486 --> 00:04:24,998 enjoys a raunchy romance novel. 108 00:04:25,022 --> 00:04:26,766 Without shame. 109 00:04:26,790 --> 00:04:28,835 I need compliments, too, guys. 110 00:04:28,859 --> 00:04:30,904 I'm glad that you're in good spirits, Val, 111 00:04:30,928 --> 00:04:34,441 but, um, your labs are concerning. 112 00:04:34,465 --> 00:04:35,842 I'm ordering a CT. 113 00:04:35,866 --> 00:04:38,111 I carried a baby in my liver. 114 00:04:38,135 --> 00:04:42,616 Can't you make an exception for moms and babies who defy odds? 115 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,851 I-I'm sick of video chats. 116 00:04:44,875 --> 00:04:48,121 Luna's gonna think her mom's a pixelated blob. 117 00:04:48,145 --> 00:04:50,523 Technically, that's what you'd look like even in person. 118 00:04:50,547 --> 00:04:52,058 Babies can only see about six inches in front - 119 00:04:52,082 --> 00:04:54,653 Schmitt! Not the point. 120 00:04:55,252 --> 00:04:57,063 Val, I know that it's not what you wanted to hear, 121 00:04:57,087 --> 00:05:00,901 but Luna's on a vent, and moving her is very precarious. 122 00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:02,903 Plus, we... we need to make sure that you're taken care of 123 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,170 before you meet her. 124 00:05:04,194 --> 00:05:06,740 For Luna's sake and for yours. 125 00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,108 Okay? 126 00:05:12,269 --> 00:05:13,422 Do we know if he's okay? 127 00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:15,173 Not sure. This is him. 128 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:17,183 You're not listening... 129 00:05:17,207 --> 00:05:18,718 I have to be at home. I don't want to miss it... 130 00:05:18,742 --> 00:05:19,920 Oh, my God. 131 00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:21,154 Okay, we have a COVID-positive male, 132 00:05:21,178 --> 00:05:23,423 heart rate 123, BP 90 over 60. 133 00:05:23,447 --> 00:05:25,892 Pulse ox of 92 on 100%, high flow. 134 00:05:25,916 --> 00:05:27,761 He's incoherent and disoriented. 135 00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:29,863 I just saw him two days ago. He was fine. 136 00:05:29,887 --> 00:05:30,931 Is this a stroke? 137 00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:33,199 Could be. Or encephalitis brought on by COVID. 138 00:05:33,223 --> 00:05:34,100 I have tickets to Opening Day, 139 00:05:34,124 --> 00:05:35,835 and David's dying to catch a fly ball. 140 00:05:35,859 --> 00:05:37,407 - Who's David? - His son. 141 00:05:37,431 --> 00:05:39,205 Let's get him to a COVID room now. 142 00:05:39,229 --> 00:05:41,450 Hang on. He's seizing. 143 00:05:42,299 --> 00:05:43,209 Let's get him on his side. 144 00:05:43,233 --> 00:05:45,312 Ready? 1, 2, 3. 145 00:05:45,336 --> 00:05:52,435 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 146 00:05:52,499 --> 00:05:55,082 No signs of head trauma, but, Helm, call up to CT, 147 00:05:55,106 --> 00:05:56,183 let them know we'll be up as soon as possible. 148 00:05:56,207 --> 00:05:57,887 We'll do it. Helm, out. 149 00:05:57,912 --> 00:05:59,223 But I've already had COVID - 150 00:05:59,247 --> 00:06:00,758 Doesn't matter. You're a resident, 151 00:06:00,782 --> 00:06:02,860 and he's positive. Out. Now. 152 00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:03,894 Get off me. Stay back. 153 00:06:03,918 --> 00:06:06,864 Tom. Tom, it's me. It's Teddy. Try to stay calm. 154 00:06:06,888 --> 00:06:08,232 I... Don't... Don't touch me. 155 00:06:08,256 --> 00:06:09,967 Take it easy. We're just trying to take care of you. 156 00:06:09,991 --> 00:06:11,502 - Push two of Ativan. - No, I don't... I don't know you. 157 00:06:11,526 --> 00:06:13,304 - I don't know you! - He's post-ictal. 158 00:06:13,328 --> 00:06:14,339 No, I don't... I don't know you. 159 00:06:14,363 --> 00:06:15,473 Just wait a minute, and the meds will kick in. 160 00:06:17,565 --> 00:06:20,044 Teddy, I got this, okay? 161 00:06:20,068 --> 00:06:21,779 Please, call up to CT. 162 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,885 Okay. 163 00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:29,987 Hey, Angel. 164 00:06:30,011 --> 00:06:33,824 I'd be there with you, but the mean doctors say no. 165 00:06:33,848 --> 00:06:35,860 Can you say "mean"? 166 00:06:35,884 --> 00:06:39,363 Can you hold the phone close enough for me to smell her head? 167 00:06:39,387 --> 00:06:41,265 How about I bring you one of her blankets? 168 00:06:41,289 --> 00:06:44,235 Ah! I will literally marry you. 169 00:06:44,259 --> 00:06:46,137 Val. 170 00:06:46,161 --> 00:06:48,839 Crap. That is your bad-news face. 171 00:06:48,863 --> 00:06:51,942 Your CT showed that you have an abscess 172 00:06:51,966 --> 00:06:54,812 that's eroding into an artery in your liver, 173 00:06:54,836 --> 00:06:57,415 causing what's called a pseudoaneurysm. 174 00:06:57,439 --> 00:06:58,516 Okay. 175 00:06:58,540 --> 00:06:59,850 It's a weakening of the blood vessel, 176 00:06:59,874 --> 00:07:01,152 which is causing it to leak. 177 00:07:01,176 --> 00:07:03,354 We need to take you to surgery right away to repair it. 178 00:07:03,378 --> 00:07:06,618 I am so sorry that it's not better news. 179 00:07:09,984 --> 00:07:11,562 Leave. 180 00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:19,003 Eight years. 181 00:07:19,027 --> 00:07:23,641 I've wanted to be a mom for eight years. 182 00:07:23,665 --> 00:07:26,677 I've known my baby's name. 183 00:07:26,701 --> 00:07:29,146 I've known the color I would paint the nursery. 184 00:07:29,170 --> 00:07:33,217 I've known the made-up lullaby I would sing at night. 185 00:07:33,241 --> 00:07:36,153 And now that I finally have the chance... 186 00:07:36,177 --> 00:07:38,355 being a mom is just some weird TV show 187 00:07:38,379 --> 00:07:40,891 I'm watching on my phone, 188 00:07:40,915 --> 00:07:43,794 and I don't know if it will ever be real. 189 00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:49,900 Please make it real. 190 00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,604 Have you heard about Koracick? 191 00:07:53,628 --> 00:07:56,006 Yes. He's getting the world's best care, 192 00:07:56,030 --> 00:07:57,708 and I'm trying not to think about it. 193 00:07:57,732 --> 00:08:00,978 So, can you wait that long for the converted rooms? 194 00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,646 Is sooner an option? 195 00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:04,548 See, even with the lockdown, we are getting slammed. 196 00:08:04,572 --> 00:08:07,051 We got six cases today from assisted-living facilities, 197 00:08:07,075 --> 00:08:09,086 - three from the same one. - I'll go check. 198 00:08:09,110 --> 00:08:11,822 - Oh, which one? - Silver Villas in Ballard. 199 00:08:11,846 --> 00:08:14,091 COVID spreads through those places like wildfire. 200 00:08:14,115 --> 00:08:15,159 Where are you going?! 201 00:08:15,183 --> 00:08:16,894 Uh, that's where my parents are. 202 00:08:16,918 --> 00:08:18,028 Next. 203 00:08:18,052 --> 00:08:19,930 - A rescue mission? - Yes. 204 00:08:19,954 --> 00:08:22,133 Just stop what you're doing and get to Silver Villas. 205 00:08:22,157 --> 00:08:23,234 To grab your mom and dad? 206 00:08:23,258 --> 00:08:24,902 I've been trying to call the front office, 207 00:08:24,926 --> 00:08:26,070 but they're not answering. 208 00:08:26,094 --> 00:08:27,138 Well, where do you want me to take them? 209 00:08:27,162 --> 00:08:28,606 Uh, to my hotel. 210 00:08:28,630 --> 00:08:30,574 Y... Uh, I don't care. Just get them out. 211 00:08:30,598 --> 00:08:32,910 Yeah, I'm on it. I love you. 212 00:08:39,073 --> 00:08:41,292 - Okay, lap pads... - Here you go. 213 00:08:42,110 --> 00:08:44,421 Khan was an attending in Pakistan. 214 00:08:44,445 --> 00:08:45,823 We could probably be assisting him. 215 00:08:45,847 --> 00:08:47,358 Not gonna happen. 216 00:08:47,382 --> 00:08:49,460 No, I know. I just... Making a point. 217 00:08:49,484 --> 00:08:50,561 Suction. 218 00:08:50,585 --> 00:08:51,929 You were a vascular surgeon, right? 219 00:08:51,953 --> 00:08:53,130 Yes, Dr. Schmitt, 220 00:08:53,154 --> 00:08:55,065 one of the first to be certified in my country. 221 00:08:55,089 --> 00:08:56,200 Why would you leave? 222 00:08:56,224 --> 00:08:57,434 Okay, Kelly clamp. 223 00:08:57,458 --> 00:08:59,436 Uh, it wasn't exactly a choice. 224 00:08:59,460 --> 00:09:01,272 I love my home, it shaped me. 225 00:09:01,296 --> 00:09:03,274 Still nice not to worry about religious persecution 226 00:09:03,298 --> 00:09:04,341 or bombings. 227 00:09:04,365 --> 00:09:06,210 - So I just started over. - Clamp. 228 00:09:06,234 --> 00:09:09,046 - Just? - It's a five-year residency. 229 00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,048 If I finished this and had to start over... 230 00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:13,083 Ugh. Pass. Can you imagine? 231 00:09:13,107 --> 00:09:14,752 Can you imagine paying more attention to the field 232 00:09:14,776 --> 00:09:16,420 so the patient doesn't die? 233 00:09:16,444 --> 00:09:18,255 Damn it. Her tissue's so friable 234 00:09:18,279 --> 00:09:20,257 it's just disintegrating into my hands. 235 00:09:20,281 --> 00:09:22,092 - We got to get control of... - I know what we need to do! 236 00:09:22,116 --> 00:09:24,595 Everyone shift. We're doing a modified pringle maneuver. 237 00:09:24,619 --> 00:09:26,096 Clamp. 238 00:09:30,825 --> 00:09:31,969 Okay, thank you. 239 00:09:31,993 --> 00:09:34,738 Hey. Your phone has been ringing like crazy. 240 00:09:34,762 --> 00:09:36,096 Oh. 241 00:09:38,433 --> 00:09:41,145 Oh, wow. Okay. 242 00:09:41,169 --> 00:09:43,047 Uh, okay. Let's just, uh... 243 00:09:44,138 --> 00:09:45,749 - I tried to call you. - Ben, how did it... 244 00:09:45,773 --> 00:09:47,918 - I picked up your mom, and she's sick. - Wait, slow down. I ca... 245 00:09:47,942 --> 00:09:50,120 - We're at the hospital. - Now?! 246 00:09:50,144 --> 00:09:52,289 Right now. 247 00:09:52,313 --> 00:09:53,991 Mom! 248 00:09:59,153 --> 00:10:00,631 Mom? 249 00:10:00,655 --> 00:10:02,066 Hey, it's me. 250 00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:03,902 I'm here. 251 00:10:07,293 --> 00:10:09,435 - William? - Alright, okay. 252 00:10:09,459 --> 00:10:10,909 Where... Where... Where's William? 253 00:10:10,934 --> 00:10:12,678 Mom, you're in the hospital. 254 00:10:12,703 --> 00:10:14,013 We're gonna take care of you. 255 00:10:14,037 --> 00:10:15,648 He's gonna be here soon, right? 256 00:10:15,672 --> 00:10:18,017 - Okay. - Yes, yes. He's coming soon. 257 00:10:18,041 --> 00:10:20,153 - Okay? - Just lay back and relax. 258 00:10:20,177 --> 00:10:23,022 I can't wear this. I got to get my clothes. 259 00:10:23,046 --> 00:10:24,124 Where my clothes? 260 00:10:24,148 --> 00:10:25,959 Okay. She seems really agitated. 261 00:10:25,983 --> 00:10:27,660 Are there any meds we can give her to calm her? 262 00:10:27,684 --> 00:10:29,162 I can order some meds? 263 00:10:30,954 --> 00:10:35,702 ? I got sunshine ? 264 00:10:35,726 --> 00:10:40,206 ? On a cloudy day ? 265 00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:45,478 - ? When it's cold outside ? - ? Cold outside ? 266 00:10:45,502 --> 00:10:47,981 - ? I got the month of May ? - ? I got the month of May ? 267 00:10:48,005 --> 00:10:50,150 Yeah. 268 00:10:50,174 --> 00:10:56,389 - ? I guess you'd say ? - ? I guess you'd say ? 269 00:10:56,413 --> 00:11:02,562 - ? What can make me feel this way? ? - ? What can make me feel... way? ? 270 00:11:02,586 --> 00:11:06,399 - ? My girl ? - ? My girl ? 271 00:11:06,423 --> 00:11:07,634 ? My girl ? 272 00:11:07,658 --> 00:11:09,903 ? Talking 'bout ? 273 00:11:09,927 --> 00:11:14,040 - ? My girl ? - ? My girl ? 274 00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:16,776 - ? My girl ? - ? My girl ? 275 00:11:20,370 --> 00:11:21,581 What do you see, Shepherd? 276 00:11:21,605 --> 00:11:23,683 Uh, I see a lesion on his thalamus, 277 00:11:23,707 --> 00:11:25,718 but it's small, so that's something. 278 00:11:25,742 --> 00:11:27,620 Have you been able to talk to him since the seizure? 279 00:11:27,644 --> 00:11:29,756 He was post-ictal, and they gave him lorazepam, 280 00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:31,491 so he wasn't really coherent. 281 00:11:31,515 --> 00:11:34,260 Okay. I'm coming in. 282 00:11:34,284 --> 00:11:36,629 Are... Are you sure? I mean, do you want me to call Dr. Mehta? 283 00:11:36,653 --> 00:11:38,364 It's Tom. I'm coming. 284 00:11:38,388 --> 00:11:39,933 Thank you. 285 00:11:40,591 --> 00:11:43,736 Uh, Ellis decided she didn't want her mac and cheese 286 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,562 after begging me to make it, so if you're hungry... 287 00:11:47,731 --> 00:11:49,209 What's going on? 288 00:11:49,233 --> 00:11:51,911 It looks like Tom is having some neuro complications from COVID. 289 00:11:51,935 --> 00:11:54,746 - I thought he was asymptomatic. - Yeah, so did I. 290 00:11:54,771 --> 00:11:57,517 I just pumped, so there is milk in the fridge for Scout. 291 00:11:57,541 --> 00:11:58,751 Uh, Bailey and Ellis need a nap. 292 00:11:58,775 --> 00:12:01,721 Make sure you check in with Zola about her homework. 293 00:12:01,745 --> 00:12:05,124 If Scout starts to fuss, just try the yoga ball. 294 00:12:05,148 --> 00:12:06,726 What am I forgetting? 295 00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,127 To breathe. 296 00:12:08,151 --> 00:12:09,629 We'll be fine here, okay? 297 00:12:09,653 --> 00:12:11,798 Go. Save your friend. 298 00:12:13,457 --> 00:12:15,235 He was my teacher. 299 00:12:15,259 --> 00:12:16,369 And he saved my brain. 300 00:12:16,393 --> 00:12:18,738 And, uh, he was my first sex after Owen, 301 00:12:18,762 --> 00:12:20,807 which shouldn't matter, but it kind of saved me, too, 302 00:12:20,831 --> 00:12:23,710 so I don't want him to die. 303 00:12:23,734 --> 00:12:27,780 And I don't want to leave Scout, and I'm scared of the pandemic. 304 00:12:27,804 --> 00:12:29,649 You had sex with Koracick? 305 00:12:29,673 --> 00:12:31,007 What? 306 00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,994 Hey. Oh, um, Mr. Anderson's trach in 4722 307 00:12:41,018 --> 00:12:42,662 - needs to be suctioned, please. - I'm on it. 308 00:12:42,686 --> 00:12:44,664 Hey, got your page. Did you hear anything from Mom? 309 00:12:44,688 --> 00:12:46,766 She's just texting me back hearts and "Love you, baby"s 310 00:12:46,790 --> 00:12:48,001 like that's gonna shut me up. 311 00:12:48,025 --> 00:12:50,169 - No, I haven't had the time. - Richard, this is not something 312 00:12:50,193 --> 00:12:51,971 that can wait till your schedule frees up, right? 313 00:12:51,995 --> 00:12:53,840 It's my mom. She's gonna give me a damn rage stroke. 314 00:12:53,864 --> 00:12:57,677 Bailey's mother was just admitted, COVID-positive. 315 00:12:57,701 --> 00:12:59,012 It's bad. 316 00:12:59,036 --> 00:13:01,014 Look, can you fill in for her at the board meeting today, 317 00:13:01,038 --> 00:13:03,182 take a few of her patients? 318 00:13:03,206 --> 00:13:05,118 We'll all pitch in. 319 00:13:05,142 --> 00:13:07,487 Yeah, of course. Whatever she needs. 320 00:13:10,714 --> 00:13:13,693 We took a lot more of her liver than I was hoping to. 321 00:13:13,717 --> 00:13:14,994 Keep an eye on her liver panel. 322 00:13:15,018 --> 00:13:16,729 The next few hours will be crucial. 323 00:13:16,753 --> 00:13:17,997 You think she'll need a transplant? 324 00:13:18,021 --> 00:13:20,500 Knowing her luck, probably. 325 00:13:20,524 --> 00:13:23,703 But if she needs it, we can try liver dialysis first. 326 00:13:23,727 --> 00:13:26,873 Khan, finish the op notes. Keep an eye on her. 327 00:13:26,897 --> 00:13:29,676 Dr. Wilson, thank you, for allowing me to observe your process. 328 00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:31,344 That was amazing. 329 00:13:31,368 --> 00:13:32,879 She could still need a transplant. 330 00:13:32,903 --> 00:13:35,915 Yes, I understand, but you resected most of her liver, 331 00:13:35,939 --> 00:13:37,050 and she's still alive. 332 00:13:37,074 --> 00:13:38,484 I mean, do you know how rare that is? 333 00:13:38,508 --> 00:13:41,788 That... That's unheard of in so many parts of the world. 334 00:13:41,812 --> 00:13:44,766 I know. Op notes. I'm going. 335 00:13:45,882 --> 00:13:47,827 Was I really amazing, 336 00:13:47,851 --> 00:13:50,596 or is he just some weird happy person? 337 00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:54,290 If you impressed him, I think amazing's a safe bet. 338 00:13:56,193 --> 00:13:58,238 Glad you got to operate again. 339 00:14:03,667 --> 00:14:05,878 Her ferritin is 2087. 340 00:14:05,902 --> 00:14:08,514 600 is severe in COVID. 341 00:14:08,538 --> 00:14:11,484 Her CRP is 87. 342 00:14:11,508 --> 00:14:13,372 Creatinine's 2.3. 343 00:14:13,415 --> 00:14:16,055 W-What about her oxygen requirements? 344 00:14:17,714 --> 00:14:19,892 She's at 100% F-I-O2. 345 00:14:19,916 --> 00:14:21,636 40 liters. 346 00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:24,230 She went into A-fib an hour ago. 347 00:14:24,254 --> 00:14:27,800 We pushed dig, but so far, no response. 348 00:14:29,126 --> 00:14:31,704 Her systolic was in the 80s, but we pushed a fluid bolus 349 00:14:31,728 --> 00:14:33,940 and got it back up into the 90s. 350 00:14:33,964 --> 00:14:38,778 So she's starting to have multi-system organ failure 351 00:14:38,802 --> 00:14:41,381 in addition to her cytokine storm. 352 00:14:41,405 --> 00:14:43,716 I'm sorry, Bailey. 353 00:14:45,776 --> 00:14:47,120 There is still more we can do. 354 00:14:47,144 --> 00:14:50,023 We can take her to the ICU, intubate... 355 00:14:50,047 --> 00:14:52,458 She didn't want to be on machines. 356 00:14:52,482 --> 00:14:56,062 Or be kept alive with medication. 357 00:15:01,458 --> 00:15:04,270 I got to call my dad. Um... 358 00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:08,474 I'm here if you need me. 359 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,345 H-How... How do I tell my dad 360 00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:16,274 that the love of his life 361 00:15:17,007 --> 00:15:19,552 won't make it through the night? 362 00:15:33,311 --> 00:15:35,523 Neuro exam's intact. No deficits. 363 00:15:35,547 --> 00:15:37,058 He asked for his son. 364 00:15:37,082 --> 00:15:41,362 I think the seizure and delirium are secondary to hypoxemia 365 00:15:41,386 --> 00:15:44,732 and inflammation from COVID... Possible early sepsis. 366 00:15:44,756 --> 00:15:45,733 Let's just watch him 367 00:15:45,757 --> 00:15:47,508 and, uh, see how he responds to treatment. 368 00:15:47,532 --> 00:15:48,641 Okay. Oh, hey, 369 00:15:48,665 --> 00:15:50,137 Shepherd. Didn't realize you were back. 370 00:15:50,161 --> 00:15:51,806 Welcome to... hell. 371 00:15:51,830 --> 00:15:53,508 Just consulting on Koracick. 372 00:15:53,532 --> 00:15:55,476 Oh, right, 'cause he needs somebody to cover his service. 373 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:57,712 On him, not... uh, not for him. 374 00:15:57,736 --> 00:15:59,747 Sats dropped, he's got a fever of 103, 375 00:15:59,771 --> 00:16:01,716 and he seized when they brought him in. 376 00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:04,452 Well, I hate everything. 377 00:16:04,476 --> 00:16:07,555 [Over P.A. I Dr. Cade to the ICU. Emma Cade to the ICU. 378 00:16:07,579 --> 00:16:09,056 I was wondering if you get used to this, 379 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,526 but I'm guessing that's my answer. 380 00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:12,860 How's the baby? 381 00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:15,396 Uh, yeah, uh, well, he won't let me sleep, 382 00:16:15,420 --> 00:16:18,432 but other than that, um, yeah, I can't wait to get back to him. 383 00:16:18,456 --> 00:16:20,101 Leo and Allison are with Owen's mom. 384 00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:21,602 I'm just... I miss them like crazy, 385 00:16:21,626 --> 00:16:24,071 but with both parents treating COVID patients, 386 00:16:24,095 --> 00:16:26,274 it just... It doesn't seem safe. 387 00:16:26,298 --> 00:16:27,742 Uh-huh. 388 00:16:27,766 --> 00:16:31,412 So, um, guess you heard what happened. 389 00:16:31,436 --> 00:16:34,048 Yeah. And I have feelings. 390 00:16:34,072 --> 00:16:35,583 But I've also done 391 00:16:35,607 --> 00:16:38,019 more hurtful and complicated things in my life 392 00:16:38,043 --> 00:16:40,955 than anyone I've met outside an NA meeting, so... 393 00:16:40,979 --> 00:16:42,757 Some of them to Owen. 394 00:16:42,781 --> 00:16:44,292 Owen won't say a word to me 395 00:16:44,316 --> 00:16:45,589 that doesn't have to do with the kids, 396 00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:48,296 and everyone is ignoring me 397 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,299 or treating me like I'm wearing a scarlet letter. 398 00:16:51,323 --> 00:16:53,568 What about Tom? 399 00:16:53,592 --> 00:16:55,790 He's hurt, too. 400 00:16:56,328 --> 00:16:59,307 Well, um, I'll keep checking on him. 401 00:16:59,331 --> 00:17:02,810 And, uh, thank you for getting Mer into the trial. 402 00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:04,345 Oh, yeah, uh, of course. 403 00:17:09,541 --> 00:17:12,119 Hi, Grey. 404 00:17:12,143 --> 00:17:13,599 It's me. 405 00:17:14,145 --> 00:17:16,424 I'm gonna say it. 406 00:17:16,448 --> 00:17:17,915 I miss you. 407 00:17:27,459 --> 00:17:31,772 When I was a kid, I had big thoughts. 408 00:17:31,796 --> 00:17:33,774 Big feelings. 409 00:17:33,798 --> 00:17:35,715 And I never knew where to put them. 410 00:17:36,635 --> 00:17:41,782 Physically, they ran through my body like a high-speed train. 411 00:17:41,806 --> 00:17:44,619 And anytime I felt the train coming, 412 00:17:44,643 --> 00:17:47,955 my mom could see it. 413 00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:50,858 So she took me around the corner to the park 414 00:17:50,882 --> 00:17:55,863 with this strange, twisted tree. 415 00:17:55,887 --> 00:17:58,065 Said it was my tree. 416 00:17:58,089 --> 00:18:01,936 And I could scream at it, hit it, hold it... 417 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,638 And it would make the feelings small enough 418 00:18:03,662 --> 00:18:08,175 that they would fit back inside of my own body again. 419 00:18:08,199 --> 00:18:11,679 So I did. 420 00:18:11,703 --> 00:18:13,714 And it worked. 421 00:18:13,738 --> 00:18:18,331 But now I'm an adult, and tree-hitting is... 422 00:18:19,344 --> 00:18:21,155 frowned upon. 423 00:18:21,179 --> 00:18:23,169 I can be your tree. 424 00:18:24,482 --> 00:18:27,215 My mother has Alzheimer's. 425 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,564 I never told you 426 00:18:30,588 --> 00:18:34,869 because she's older, 427 00:18:34,893 --> 00:18:38,172 and I didn't want to bring up any old pain 428 00:18:38,196 --> 00:18:40,741 for your or Richard. 429 00:18:40,765 --> 00:18:43,411 But it would be a lie 430 00:18:43,435 --> 00:18:47,081 to say that it hasn't been hard. 431 00:18:47,105 --> 00:18:49,850 Or painful. 432 00:18:49,874 --> 00:18:54,588 Even as a doctor who knows about the disease, 433 00:18:54,612 --> 00:18:57,703 I feel like... 434 00:18:58,016 --> 00:18:59,326 I didn't know crap. 435 00:18:59,350 --> 00:19:01,791 ...like I don't know anything. 436 00:19:03,588 --> 00:19:05,166 It's difficult to talk about it 437 00:19:05,190 --> 00:19:07,234 with someone who hasn't been there, 438 00:19:07,258 --> 00:19:09,537 been through it. 439 00:19:12,797 --> 00:19:15,509 No one understands that you are 440 00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:19,180 watching your own mother die... 441 00:19:19,204 --> 00:19:21,018 twice. 442 00:19:21,639 --> 00:19:24,605 I'm so sorry, Bailey. 443 00:19:25,677 --> 00:19:28,556 I wish you were awake. 444 00:19:37,589 --> 00:19:39,467 Val's still not awake. LFTs are up slightly. 445 00:19:39,491 --> 00:19:41,602 Okay. Do another panel in a few hours. 446 00:19:41,626 --> 00:19:43,304 Absolutely, Dr. Wilson. 447 00:19:43,328 --> 00:19:46,941 Okay, has your attitude always been this good? 448 00:19:46,965 --> 00:19:50,444 My mom used to say every day above ground is a good day. 449 00:19:50,468 --> 00:19:51,979 Did she get that from "Scarface"? 450 00:19:52,003 --> 00:19:55,149 She did. Still, it's true. 451 00:19:59,611 --> 00:20:01,455 You! You're a doctor, right? 452 00:20:01,479 --> 00:20:03,591 - Yeah. - Great, follow me. 453 00:20:03,615 --> 00:20:05,159 - We're delivering a baby. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 454 00:20:05,183 --> 00:20:06,637 I'm not an OB, I'm a general surgeon. 455 00:20:06,661 --> 00:20:08,796 I don't care. We have an imminent delivery, and all our OBs are busy. 456 00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:10,498 Hospital rules say we need a doctor. 457 00:20:10,522 --> 00:20:12,166 I haven't delivered a baby... 458 00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:13,667 You heard the "I don't care" part, right? 459 00:20:13,691 --> 00:20:15,035 We'll talk you through it. 460 00:20:15,059 --> 00:20:16,437 - The Elmores. - Okay. 461 00:20:16,461 --> 00:20:19,673 G3P2 came in fully effaced and dilated at zero station. 462 00:20:19,697 --> 00:20:21,976 Started crowning by the time we got her settled on the bed. 463 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,646 Ms. Elmore? Hi. I know that I'm not who you expected, 464 00:20:25,670 --> 00:20:27,181 but I am here... The head is coming now. 465 00:20:27,205 --> 00:20:29,116 Hi. Hi. 466 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,851 Okay. Okay. 467 00:20:32,410 --> 00:20:34,321 Alright. Contraction and big push, okay? 468 00:20:34,345 --> 00:20:35,289 Big push. 469 00:20:39,384 --> 00:20:41,695 Okay. Contraction and push. 470 00:20:43,454 --> 00:20:45,866 The head is out. There... No cord around the neck. 471 00:20:45,890 --> 00:20:48,469 See? Just like riding a bike. 472 00:20:48,493 --> 00:20:49,670 Alright, uh... 473 00:20:49,694 --> 00:20:52,406 Pull head down, then up, to deliver the shoulders. 474 00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:54,275 Okay, it's coming. 475 00:20:54,299 --> 00:20:55,676 Coming. 476 00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:58,412 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 477 00:20:58,436 --> 00:21:00,981 Ms. Elmore asked that the baby go directly onto her chest 478 00:21:01,005 --> 00:21:02,349 while still connected. 479 00:21:02,373 --> 00:21:03,954 Okay, clamp. 480 00:21:04,409 --> 00:21:07,554 Okay. Oh, my gosh. Okay. 481 00:21:09,914 --> 00:21:10,958 Okay. 482 00:21:13,451 --> 00:21:15,424 You ready to cut the cord? 483 00:21:16,354 --> 00:21:18,032 Hi. Okay, right here. 484 00:21:18,056 --> 00:21:19,900 Okay, yeah. In between here. 485 00:21:19,924 --> 00:21:21,802 In between, yeah. 486 00:21:21,826 --> 00:21:23,904 Good. Hi, little one! 487 00:21:57,061 --> 00:21:59,607 Just need you to sign the paperwork, and you can go. 488 00:21:59,631 --> 00:22:02,076 Is it alright if I stay? 489 00:22:07,046 --> 00:22:09,583 Okay. Mommy? 490 00:22:09,607 --> 00:22:10,618 Hey, it's me. 491 00:22:10,642 --> 00:22:13,420 Look, Dad's here, too. 492 00:22:13,444 --> 00:22:15,956 Hi, honey. I'm here. 493 00:22:15,980 --> 00:22:18,592 Wait till you see Miranda's hotel. 494 00:22:18,616 --> 00:22:20,294 I mean, there's room service, 495 00:22:20,318 --> 00:22:23,330 and the view is so much better than Silver Villas. 496 00:22:23,354 --> 00:22:25,799 You can actually s-see the water. 497 00:22:25,823 --> 00:22:27,768 William? 498 00:22:27,792 --> 00:22:29,803 Is that you, William? 499 00:22:29,827 --> 00:22:32,439 Right here by your side, as always. 500 00:22:32,463 --> 00:22:36,410 I love you. I love you so much. 501 00:22:36,434 --> 00:22:38,579 Sweetheart? 502 00:22:38,603 --> 00:22:42,783 Uh, she drifts in and out, Dad. 503 00:22:42,807 --> 00:22:46,186 In her state, even breathing's exhausting. 504 00:22:46,210 --> 00:22:48,322 I can't do this. 505 00:22:48,346 --> 00:22:49,823 I know. 506 00:22:49,847 --> 00:22:51,492 It's difficult. 507 00:22:51,516 --> 00:22:52,660 I should be there. 508 00:22:52,684 --> 00:22:54,461 It's too risky, Dad. 509 00:22:54,485 --> 00:22:58,699 She should be in her own bed, not in some sterile box. 510 00:22:58,723 --> 00:23:04,571 She spent 60 years taking care of me, and now... 511 00:23:04,595 --> 00:23:08,042 She hardly ever got a cold before this. 512 00:23:08,066 --> 00:23:11,512 Just call me when she wakes up. 513 00:23:13,438 --> 00:23:15,549 Of course, Dad. 514 00:23:23,548 --> 00:23:25,793 Okay. 515 00:23:35,727 --> 00:23:38,806 Mommy. 516 00:23:38,830 --> 00:23:40,708 If you're ready to go, 517 00:23:40,732 --> 00:23:42,176 it's okay. 518 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,211 We're gonna be okay. 519 00:23:47,472 --> 00:23:50,017 We love you. 520 00:23:50,041 --> 00:23:52,553 But we don't want you to suffer. 521 00:23:53,578 --> 00:23:58,892 I'm not r-ready. 522 00:23:58,916 --> 00:24:02,229 If you're tired, I understand. 523 00:24:03,688 --> 00:24:04,732 I love you. 524 00:24:05,757 --> 00:24:07,735 Ready to die? 525 00:24:08,893 --> 00:24:10,170 No. 526 00:24:11,763 --> 00:24:16,043 I-I want to go home. 527 00:24:24,967 --> 00:24:27,311 Hey, you've reached Ben Warren. Please leave a message. 528 00:24:27,335 --> 00:24:30,314 Yeah, I... Ben? Um, it's my mom. 529 00:24:30,338 --> 00:24:33,417 I think she was just lucid with me, 530 00:24:33,441 --> 00:24:36,487 and she said some things that I don't understand, 531 00:24:36,511 --> 00:24:38,732 and now I-I don't know what do, 532 00:24:38,756 --> 00:24:40,391 and I need someone to tell me what to do. 533 00:24:40,415 --> 00:24:44,461 Just, uh, call me as soon as you can. 534 00:24:44,485 --> 00:24:45,629 Uh, I love you. 535 00:24:50,191 --> 00:24:51,535 Hey. 536 00:24:51,559 --> 00:24:54,094 I saw you leave. I wanted to check. 537 00:24:54,696 --> 00:24:57,508 She said she's not ready to go. 538 00:24:57,532 --> 00:24:59,510 For a split second, 539 00:24:59,534 --> 00:25:03,047 my heart was filled up with so much joy. 540 00:25:03,071 --> 00:25:05,249 But now I'm just mad. 541 00:25:05,273 --> 00:25:09,453 Mad because no one told me she was sick, 542 00:25:09,477 --> 00:25:15,926 mad because she probably has no idea what's happening. 543 00:25:15,950 --> 00:25:20,164 You know, if I'm being totally honest, 544 00:25:20,188 --> 00:25:22,666 I don't want her to suffer from this Alzheimer's anymore. 545 00:25:22,690 --> 00:25:25,736 You know, it's a horrific disease, 546 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,739 and I want her to be free. 547 00:25:28,763 --> 00:25:30,908 But I don't want COVID to be the reason. 548 00:25:30,932 --> 00:25:35,546 I d... I don't want her to be just another Black woman statistic 549 00:25:35,570 --> 00:25:37,448 in this pandemic count. 550 00:25:37,472 --> 00:25:39,583 Yeah, I hear that. 551 00:25:39,607 --> 00:25:41,808 100%. 552 00:25:44,545 --> 00:25:46,290 None of this is easy. 553 00:25:46,314 --> 00:25:49,560 All of it is confusing and... 554 00:25:49,584 --> 00:25:52,196 hard and awful. 555 00:25:52,220 --> 00:25:56,400 But even with Alzheimer's, she's been healthy. 556 00:25:56,424 --> 00:25:59,403 And now I'm watching her struggle 557 00:25:59,427 --> 00:26:04,642 to do the most basic of human reflexes... breathing. 558 00:26:04,666 --> 00:26:07,841 And if she's saying she's not ready to go... 559 00:26:09,604 --> 00:26:12,383 I don't know what to think. 560 00:26:12,407 --> 00:26:14,184 I felt so sure 561 00:26:14,208 --> 00:26:16,960 that she wouldn't want to live like she's been living, 562 00:26:16,995 --> 00:26:19,918 but maybe I'm wrong, yeah? 563 00:26:19,942 --> 00:26:25,062 Maybe she's happy in the world her mind takes her to. 564 00:26:25,086 --> 00:26:27,665 Now I'm questioning every choice I made. 565 00:26:27,689 --> 00:26:29,233 I mean, s-should I be doing more? 566 00:26:29,257 --> 00:26:32,703 Should I move her to the ICU? Intubate her? 567 00:26:32,727 --> 00:26:34,705 Am I just thinking about how I feel 568 00:26:34,729 --> 00:26:38,706 instead of what's going on with her... inside of her mind? 569 00:26:39,734 --> 00:26:42,646 - Do you want my opinion? - Please. 570 00:26:42,670 --> 00:26:46,317 I've been the one who does everything, 571 00:26:46,341 --> 00:26:52,189 who fights tooth and nail against death at all costs. 572 00:26:52,213 --> 00:26:55,359 But truthfully, with my mom, 573 00:26:55,383 --> 00:26:58,017 it didn't give me more peace of mind in the end. 574 00:26:59,387 --> 00:27:01,687 It might have done the opposite. 575 00:27:02,256 --> 00:27:07,871 I didn't think so at the time, but it was the easier choice. 576 00:27:07,895 --> 00:27:10,274 To fall back on acting like a surgeon 577 00:27:10,298 --> 00:27:12,499 and searching for all the answers. 578 00:27:15,670 --> 00:27:20,584 Bailey, you've given your mom so much. 579 00:27:20,608 --> 00:27:22,720 She's gotten to raise you 580 00:27:22,744 --> 00:27:25,656 and watch you turn into this incredible surgeon 581 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,658 and chief of a hospital. 582 00:27:27,682 --> 00:27:29,827 She watched you fall in love. 583 00:27:29,851 --> 00:27:32,396 - Twice. - Twice! 584 00:27:32,420 --> 00:27:35,455 And raise a family. 585 00:27:38,192 --> 00:27:42,973 Of course you're never going to feel ready to say goodbye, 586 00:27:42,997 --> 00:27:44,813 but... 587 00:27:45,898 --> 00:27:48,345 she's had an amazing life. 588 00:27:48,369 --> 00:27:53,384 I brought my parents to Seattle kicking and fighting. 589 00:27:53,408 --> 00:27:55,919 I promised them, if they moved here, 590 00:27:55,943 --> 00:27:58,122 it was the right thing to do 591 00:27:58,146 --> 00:28:00,762 so they could be closer to their only daughter. 592 00:28:00,808 --> 00:28:04,094 I told them I knew best. Just listen to me. 593 00:28:04,118 --> 00:28:07,631 And if they hadn't done that, they would still be at home. 594 00:28:07,655 --> 00:28:08,699 Isolated. 595 00:28:08,723 --> 00:28:10,701 And Mom wouldn't be dying. Not yet. 596 00:28:10,725 --> 00:28:11,769 You don't know that. 597 00:28:11,793 --> 00:28:14,705 She was exposed at the place that I set up for them. 598 00:28:14,729 --> 00:28:20,577 The... The facility let someone move in from New York, 599 00:28:20,601 --> 00:28:22,613 a retired surgeon. 600 00:28:22,637 --> 00:28:25,983 He became symptomatic the day after his arrival. 601 00:28:26,007 --> 00:28:29,787 After they said they had shut down to all outsiders, 602 00:28:29,811 --> 00:28:31,321 including family. 603 00:28:31,345 --> 00:28:33,490 How in the hell could you have known that was going to happen? 604 00:28:33,514 --> 00:28:37,795 How could you have known any of this was going to happen? 605 00:28:37,819 --> 00:28:40,631 Bailey, you cannot feel guilty about this. 606 00:28:46,094 --> 00:28:48,739 My mom, she left me five voicemails 607 00:28:48,763 --> 00:28:50,474 for my birthday last year. 608 00:28:50,498 --> 00:28:52,776 She kept calling 609 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,525 because she forgot that she had already 610 00:28:54,549 --> 00:28:56,747 wished me happy birthday. 611 00:28:56,771 --> 00:29:00,751 There they are. 612 00:29:00,775 --> 00:29:02,180 I never deleted them 613 00:29:02,216 --> 00:29:05,055 because I guess I realized 614 00:29:05,079 --> 00:29:07,991 that it might be the last time she remembered at all. 615 00:29:10,885 --> 00:29:14,765 She raised me to be a good little girl. 616 00:29:14,789 --> 00:29:18,836 And even when I defied her... 617 00:29:18,860 --> 00:29:22,072 I was never disrespectful. 618 00:29:22,096 --> 00:29:26,610 And I tried to be good at everything. 619 00:29:26,634 --> 00:29:29,680 A good student, a good mother. 620 00:29:29,704 --> 00:29:33,350 Wife, doctor, chief. 621 00:29:33,374 --> 00:29:37,621 And now she just needs me to be a good daughter, 622 00:29:37,645 --> 00:29:39,456 and I'm not sure how to do that, 623 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,992 even though it's what I've been the longest. 624 00:29:42,016 --> 00:29:45,329 You've chosen palliative care. 625 00:29:45,353 --> 00:29:48,332 You're giving her the best care possible 626 00:29:48,356 --> 00:29:51,969 while keeping her as comfortable as possible. 627 00:29:51,993 --> 00:29:53,537 That is good. 628 00:29:53,561 --> 00:29:57,841 And it is kind and respectful 629 00:29:57,865 --> 00:29:59,010 and brave. 630 00:30:01,669 --> 00:30:04,715 I wish I could've given my mom a more dignified death. 631 00:30:07,017 --> 00:30:11,155 But I pushed so hard. 632 00:30:15,316 --> 00:30:17,728 You know, it's her own damn fault, really. 633 00:30:19,177 --> 00:30:21,999 My whole life, she told me to push through. 634 00:30:24,025 --> 00:30:27,037 Be strong. Fight the good fight. 635 00:30:27,061 --> 00:30:29,740 My mom was kind of the opposite. 636 00:30:29,764 --> 00:30:32,876 Like, overprotective, like, hovering. 637 00:30:32,900 --> 00:30:35,579 There was a reception 638 00:30:35,603 --> 00:30:38,849 sponsored by the Daughters of the Revolution. 639 00:30:38,873 --> 00:30:41,151 They had given me a scholarship. 640 00:30:42,343 --> 00:30:45,556 So my mom said I should take the scholarship 641 00:30:45,580 --> 00:30:47,724 but not go to the reception. 642 00:30:47,748 --> 00:30:49,826 But I didn't want to give them that satisfaction. 643 00:30:49,850 --> 00:30:52,296 No, I wanted them to see 644 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,831 what "Miranda Bailey" looked like, right? 645 00:30:54,855 --> 00:30:58,902 So I went with my dad. 646 00:31:00,928 --> 00:31:03,974 We had a good laugh 647 00:31:03,998 --> 00:31:08,551 at those very proper ladies. 648 00:31:08,580 --> 00:31:10,814 I think you mean "white" ladies. 649 00:31:10,838 --> 00:31:12,716 - Uh... - Yeah. 650 00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:16,086 Watching them try to hide their horror 651 00:31:16,110 --> 00:31:19,723 when they saw who they had given their scholarship to, 652 00:31:19,747 --> 00:31:22,467 yeah, that was classic. 653 00:31:22,529 --> 00:31:24,061 Oh, and guidance counselors, oh, my God. 654 00:31:24,085 --> 00:31:26,463 Oh, yeah, yeah, always trying to suggest 655 00:31:26,487 --> 00:31:28,932 a school where we might feel "more comfortable." 656 00:31:28,956 --> 00:31:31,468 "Oh, Wellesley. 657 00:31:31,492 --> 00:31:33,971 That's a fine school, Miranda. 658 00:31:33,995 --> 00:31:37,808 But, um, I think state school is more your speed." 659 00:31:37,832 --> 00:31:39,676 - Mm-hmm. - Like I don't know my speed. 660 00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:41,912 - Please. - Try harder and do better 661 00:31:41,936 --> 00:31:43,668 just to be considered average. 662 00:31:43,710 --> 00:31:45,549 Or to be considered at all. 663 00:31:45,573 --> 00:31:49,486 But how they underestimate our greatness. 664 00:31:49,510 --> 00:31:52,350 - Graduated magna cum laude... - Mm-hmm. 665 00:31:52,374 --> 00:31:56,226 ...with my biology degree, by the way. 666 00:31:56,250 --> 00:32:00,964 And you better bet my mom cut out the graduation announcement 667 00:32:00,988 --> 00:32:04,001 from Wellesley and mailed it to my guidance counselor. 668 00:32:12,166 --> 00:32:14,845 I don't know how I'm gonna do this. 669 00:32:29,277 --> 00:32:30,410 I can come back. 670 00:32:30,435 --> 00:32:33,239 No. No, no, no. Uh, no, I just finished up his EEG. 671 00:32:33,263 --> 00:32:34,941 I wanted to, um, make sure 672 00:32:34,965 --> 00:32:36,162 that the seizure was a one-and-done, 673 00:32:36,220 --> 00:32:40,113 before I head home, take 10 scalding hot showers, 674 00:32:40,137 --> 00:32:41,915 and hug up on everybody. 675 00:32:41,939 --> 00:32:46,119 Um, Maggie says that his numbers are holding. 676 00:32:46,143 --> 00:32:49,289 Good. Thanks. 677 00:32:58,989 --> 00:33:00,466 I don't know if you were ignoring me 678 00:33:00,490 --> 00:33:01,968 when I came by the house 679 00:33:01,992 --> 00:33:03,937 or... or if you were just too sick to answer, 680 00:33:03,961 --> 00:33:06,139 but I-I'm... I'm gonna go with too sick 681 00:33:06,163 --> 00:33:09,642 'cause then... then maybe there's a-a ray of hope for us, 682 00:33:09,666 --> 00:33:11,978 which I could really use right now, 683 00:33:12,002 --> 00:33:13,809 and I know you could. 684 00:33:15,505 --> 00:33:17,016 You know, I'm... I'm gonna stop asking. 685 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:18,151 I'm just gonna decide. 686 00:33:18,175 --> 00:33:22,055 I-I'm deciding that we mean enough to each other 687 00:33:22,079 --> 00:33:25,070 that, even though I hurt you and I-I... 688 00:33:26,350 --> 00:33:28,528 I hurt you more than I could ever imagine, 689 00:33:28,552 --> 00:33:30,575 that a repair could be made, that... 690 00:33:33,830 --> 00:33:36,876 maybe you could remember 691 00:33:36,901 --> 00:33:38,612 some of the things that you don't hate about me 692 00:33:38,637 --> 00:33:41,670 and we... we could salvage our friendship because... 693 00:33:43,667 --> 00:33:45,511 I don't know how we're going to get through this pandemic, 694 00:33:45,535 --> 00:33:47,380 but I do know... I do know 695 00:33:47,404 --> 00:33:49,315 that we're not going to get through it alone. 696 00:33:49,339 --> 00:33:52,151 So if you want to have nothing to do with me, 697 00:33:52,175 --> 00:33:54,020 then you are just going to have to get all better 698 00:33:54,044 --> 00:33:55,154 and tell me yourself, 699 00:33:55,178 --> 00:33:57,023 because until I hear you say the words, 700 00:33:57,047 --> 00:33:58,812 you're not gonna get rid of me. 701 00:34:03,186 --> 00:34:05,398 Oh, my God. Tom. Tom? 702 00:34:05,422 --> 00:34:07,112 Tom, can you hear me? 703 00:34:07,630 --> 00:34:09,975 It's me. It's... It's Teddy. 704 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,012 You were wrong. 705 00:34:12,037 --> 00:34:13,232 Wrong about what? 706 00:34:14,631 --> 00:34:17,176 When you came to my house. 707 00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:18,511 I was ignoring you. 708 00:34:21,271 --> 00:34:25,618 Did you hear everything II just said? 709 00:34:27,911 --> 00:34:29,756 I hate you. 710 00:34:31,114 --> 00:34:33,226 Well, we both know that's not true. 711 00:34:38,021 --> 00:34:39,603 Hey. 712 00:34:41,425 --> 00:34:43,836 What would you say to a sponge bath? 713 00:34:44,961 --> 00:34:47,273 Well, but, you know, as friends. 714 00:34:47,297 --> 00:34:49,509 Friendly sponge bath. 715 00:35:17,561 --> 00:35:19,072 Hey. 716 00:35:19,096 --> 00:35:20,840 I rounded on all of Bailey's patients. 717 00:35:20,864 --> 00:35:24,077 DeLuca said he'll keep an eye on them for the rest of the night. 718 00:35:24,101 --> 00:35:25,278 Yeah, thank you. 719 00:35:25,302 --> 00:35:28,147 Yeah, I hesitate to ask, but how's her mom doing? 720 00:35:28,171 --> 00:35:30,216 They don't expect her to last the night. 721 00:35:34,077 --> 00:35:35,088 That's... 722 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:39,692 You realize half of our COVID patients are Black and brown? 723 00:35:39,716 --> 00:35:40,927 I know. 724 00:35:40,951 --> 00:35:42,462 In a city that's 7% Black? 725 00:35:42,486 --> 00:35:44,997 Like, how does that even compute? 726 00:35:45,021 --> 00:35:46,833 It doesn't. 727 00:35:46,857 --> 00:35:49,402 If I hear one more person blame it on pre-existing conditions 728 00:35:49,426 --> 00:35:52,538 as if the conditions aren't manmade to begin with... 729 00:35:52,562 --> 00:35:55,141 Like we're not pushed into the front line of all of our jobs 730 00:35:55,165 --> 00:35:57,677 and forced to live in overcrowded situations, 731 00:35:57,701 --> 00:35:59,946 surrounded by environmental hazards. 732 00:35:59,970 --> 00:36:01,180 Yeah, people want 733 00:36:01,204 --> 00:36:04,083 to make everything bad that happens your own fault. 734 00:36:04,107 --> 00:36:05,685 Yeah, when systemic racism is the root 735 00:36:05,709 --> 00:36:07,687 of the whole damn thing. Forget the pre-, 736 00:36:07,711 --> 00:36:09,288 it's the existing condition. 737 00:36:09,312 --> 00:36:11,057 Existing while Black. 738 00:36:16,987 --> 00:36:19,198 You know, Richard, we both know my mom is stubborn. 739 00:36:21,191 --> 00:36:22,535 And everything she's been through, I feel like 740 00:36:22,559 --> 00:36:25,004 she thinks she's invincible now, and she's not. 741 00:36:26,997 --> 00:36:29,129 We can't lose her, Richard. 742 00:36:30,066 --> 00:36:32,211 The world can't lose her, you know? 743 00:36:32,235 --> 00:36:33,967 It's been handled. 744 00:36:34,838 --> 00:36:36,315 Oh, you talked to her? 745 00:36:36,339 --> 00:36:37,884 Oh, good. 746 00:36:37,908 --> 00:36:39,085 What'd you say? 747 00:36:39,109 --> 00:36:42,488 I think it's best kept between us. 748 00:36:42,512 --> 00:36:44,728 Why are you being weird about it? 749 00:36:45,515 --> 00:36:47,627 'Cause it's about sex, isn't it? 750 00:36:47,651 --> 00:36:50,062 - It is. - Thanks. Right. Good night. 751 00:36:55,899 --> 00:36:59,078 Oh, my God. That smells so good. 752 00:36:59,103 --> 00:37:00,547 We're sharing, right? 753 00:37:00,572 --> 00:37:03,017 Pod together, eat together? Please say yes. 754 00:37:03,042 --> 00:37:05,587 I delivered a baby today. 755 00:37:05,735 --> 00:37:06,779 - Is that a yes? - Yes! 756 00:37:06,803 --> 00:37:08,247 - Oh. - Yes, yes. 757 00:37:08,271 --> 00:37:09,715 Wait, weren't we together all day? 758 00:37:09,739 --> 00:37:12,485 What do you mean you delivered a secret baby? 759 00:37:12,509 --> 00:37:14,887 Happened very quick. I went to check on Luna, 760 00:37:14,911 --> 00:37:17,223 and this nurse said that there was an imminent delivery, 761 00:37:17,247 --> 00:37:22,094 and the next second, I was catching a baby. 762 00:37:22,118 --> 00:37:26,791 I was literally the first person in the universe to hold him. 763 00:37:26,815 --> 00:37:28,534 And then I handed him to his parents, 764 00:37:28,558 --> 00:37:31,274 and their faces were just... 765 00:37:32,095 --> 00:37:33,573 No wonder Val's so depressed. 766 00:37:33,597 --> 00:37:36,409 It's the happiest thing I've ever seen. 767 00:37:36,433 --> 00:37:41,280 It was just so pure and simple and perfect. 768 00:37:41,304 --> 00:37:42,882 I was buzzing. 769 00:37:42,906 --> 00:37:44,617 But it was a total random fluke, 770 00:37:44,641 --> 00:37:47,520 and tomorrow, I'll be back to the same depressing crap. 771 00:37:47,544 --> 00:37:50,710 I mean, you did save Val's life today. 772 00:37:51,348 --> 00:37:52,892 You think that's why Carina DeLuca 773 00:37:52,916 --> 00:37:54,293 is always in such a good mood? 774 00:37:54,317 --> 00:37:56,395 She's just, you know, handing out babies, 775 00:37:56,419 --> 00:37:58,865 and it shoots her serotonin level through the roof. 776 00:37:58,889 --> 00:38:02,925 Well, yeah, but doesn't she also have, like, an orgasm hobby? 777 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:05,504 What if I changed? 778 00:38:05,629 --> 00:38:07,073 Changed what? 779 00:38:07,097 --> 00:38:08,808 Careers. Programs. 780 00:38:08,832 --> 00:38:11,310 Is that insane? 781 00:38:11,334 --> 00:38:13,246 Khan did it, and what he did 782 00:38:13,270 --> 00:38:16,148 is so much harder than switching specialties. 783 00:38:16,172 --> 00:38:18,751 He started over with nothing. 784 00:38:18,775 --> 00:38:21,287 And I know... I know I've put years into surgery, 785 00:38:21,311 --> 00:38:24,223 but if it's not bringing me any joy, 786 00:38:24,247 --> 00:38:28,481 then wouldn't it be insane to not change? 787 00:38:28,532 --> 00:38:32,665 I think you eat and then sleep before you make any major li... 788 00:38:32,689 --> 00:38:34,796 Oh, my God. I sound like my mother. 789 00:38:35,759 --> 00:38:38,437 I want to be happy. 790 00:38:38,461 --> 00:38:40,139 Everyone's dying. 791 00:38:40,163 --> 00:38:41,678 Meredith's... 792 00:38:42,766 --> 00:38:45,711 Tomorrow is not promised. 793 00:38:45,735 --> 00:38:47,346 Not in marriage. 794 00:38:47,370 --> 00:38:49,348 Not in life. 795 00:38:49,372 --> 00:38:50,937 I want to be happy. 796 00:38:57,013 --> 00:38:58,820 She's decompensating. 797 00:39:00,396 --> 00:39:01,990 You should go in. 798 00:39:04,114 --> 00:39:06,244 She barely knows who I am. 799 00:39:07,236 --> 00:39:09,534 And I want to be there for her. 800 00:39:09,559 --> 00:39:13,205 I-I want her husband to be there for her. 801 00:39:13,229 --> 00:39:18,131 She deserves to be surrounded by love and family. 802 00:39:19,369 --> 00:39:21,480 But Dad's in quarantine. 803 00:39:21,504 --> 00:39:25,318 He's high-risk, and I don't want him to expose anyone. 804 00:39:25,342 --> 00:39:27,687 I don't want him to be exposed. 805 00:39:27,711 --> 00:39:31,123 I know this is not what you imagined for your mother. 806 00:39:31,147 --> 00:39:33,396 And I'm sorry about that. 807 00:39:34,517 --> 00:39:38,364 But she needs you now. 808 00:39:38,388 --> 00:39:39,861 It's time. 809 00:39:40,993 --> 00:39:42,268 And if you don't go in, 810 00:39:42,292 --> 00:39:45,371 I promise you will never forgive yourself. 811 00:39:47,697 --> 00:39:50,409 I'm scared. 812 00:39:52,202 --> 00:39:54,580 I know. 813 00:39:54,604 --> 00:39:56,682 We'll do it together. 814 00:39:56,706 --> 00:39:58,417 Patients lose their power 815 00:39:58,441 --> 00:40:01,387 when they are referred to as "Bed number 4" 816 00:40:01,411 --> 00:40:04,256 or "arm pain guy." 817 00:40:05,281 --> 00:40:07,727 Even in their deaths, 818 00:40:07,751 --> 00:40:10,229 they are not faceless. 819 00:40:10,253 --> 00:40:12,465 They are not nameless. 820 00:40:13,556 --> 00:40:16,302 They are more than statistics. 821 00:40:20,930 --> 00:40:22,908 More than "co-morbid conditions" 822 00:40:22,932 --> 00:40:25,044 or "nursing-home patients." 823 00:40:25,068 --> 00:40:26,846 ? My girl ? 824 00:40:26,870 --> 00:40:30,282 They are sons, brothers, and uncles 825 00:40:30,306 --> 00:40:32,051 who speak five languages 826 00:40:32,075 --> 00:40:36,222 and run restaurants... Wade Klein, 66. 827 00:40:36,246 --> 00:40:37,456 ? My girl ? 828 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:41,227 They are great-grandfathers who love Broadway... 829 00:40:41,251 --> 00:40:43,863 Jacob Lappin, 92. 830 00:40:56,299 --> 00:41:00,446 They are baseball loving nurses with an easy laugh... 831 00:41:00,470 --> 00:41:02,715 Dane Wilson, 45. 832 00:41:14,818 --> 00:41:18,731 - ? My girl ? - ? My girl ? 833 00:41:18,755 --> 00:41:24,437 - ? Talking 'bout my girl ? - ? Talking 'bout my girl ? 834 00:41:26,429 --> 00:41:27,940 ? My girl ? 835 00:41:27,964 --> 00:41:29,971 It's okay. 836 00:41:31,468 --> 00:41:33,179 - Okay. - ? My girl ? 837 00:41:34,537 --> 00:41:37,383 They are the world's greatest mothers, 838 00:41:37,407 --> 00:41:40,820 and they are the most beloved wives... 839 00:41:40,844 --> 00:41:45,391 Elena Rose Bailey, 84. 840 00:41:46,312 --> 00:41:51,043 *CREDITS*