1
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Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com

2
00:00:03,483 --> 00:00:05,918
"And so, for your birthday, Chris,

3
00:00:05,919 --> 00:00:08,006
I'm giving you this dollar bill.

4
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:10,056
Don't spend it all in one place.

5
00:00:10,057 --> 00:00:13,093
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

6
00:00:13,094 --> 00:00:14,428
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

7
00:00:14,429 --> 00:00:16,696
ha, ha, ha, arrow.

8
00:00:16,697 --> 00:00:17,931
Ha, ha, ha, ha,

9
00:00:17,932 --> 00:00:20,134
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

10
00:00:20,135 --> 00:00:22,286
Love, Grandpa."

11
00:00:24,387 --> 00:00:25,806
What a generous gift.

12
00:00:25,807 --> 00:00:27,040
I know. Isn't money great?

13
00:00:27,041 --> 00:00:28,275
Oh, it's the best.

14
00:00:28,276 --> 00:00:30,362
And now to seal it with a wet cough.

15
00:00:31,869 --> 00:00:34,205
Well, I better get this
dollar bill on its way.

16
00:01:15,304 --> 00:01:17,265
Ah. You there, mailman.

17
00:01:17,266 --> 00:01:18,325
Me?

18
00:01:18,326 --> 00:01:20,693
No, the other black guy
in shorts. Yes, you.

19
00:01:20,694 --> 00:01:21,927
- Here.
- Well.

20
00:01:21,928 --> 00:01:25,632
You, sir, are a racist
and a rude one at that.

21
00:01:25,633 --> 00:01:27,466
So, you're not a mailman?

22
00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:30,169
Okay, yes, I am a mailman,

23
00:01:30,170 --> 00:01:33,472
but these are my 1983
Maurice Cheeks shorts.

24
00:01:33,473 --> 00:01:35,275
So, you're gonna deliver
this card or what?

25
00:01:35,276 --> 00:01:37,210
Mm, fine, I will.

26
00:01:37,211 --> 00:01:38,455
I took an oath.

27
00:01:38,456 --> 00:01:41,614
If mail touches me, I
have to deliver it.

28
00:01:43,684 --> 00:01:46,337
Sorry, it's my chimes.

29
00:01:52,993 --> 00:01:54,681
Hey, Cleveland, come on in.

30
00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:58,832
Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

31
00:01:58,833 --> 00:02:00,367
What the hell's he doing?!

32
00:02:00,368 --> 00:02:02,334
Sorry, Cleveland, he
wanted a surprise party

33
00:02:02,335 --> 00:02:03,969
and this is how he thinks it works.

34
00:02:03,970 --> 00:02:06,624
Surprise! Surprise!

35
00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:08,330
Here you go, Chris.

36
00:02:09,191 --> 00:02:11,710
I also have a fat, weird boy.

37
00:02:11,711 --> 00:02:13,188
Would you like a hug?

38
00:02:13,189 --> 00:02:15,566
Yes. Birthdays are the hardest.

39
00:02:17,246 --> 00:02:19,752
Grandpa only gave me a dollar?

40
00:02:19,753 --> 00:02:21,387
Chris, you write him a thank-you note.

41
00:02:21,388 --> 00:02:23,006
That will is still wide open.

42
00:02:24,941 --> 00:02:27,059
Wow, a dollar.

43
00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:30,596
29 more cents and I can buy
"My Sharona" on iTunes.

44
00:02:30,597 --> 00:02:33,437
Boy, that guy did not
like sharing Sharonas.

45
00:02:33,857 --> 00:02:37,736
? Nobody will know 'cause
it's in a coffee cup. ?

46
00:02:37,737 --> 00:02:39,405
Wow, getting drunk in the morning.

47
00:02:39,406 --> 00:02:41,774
Who are you, Hoda Kot-ba...

48
00:02:41,775 --> 00:02:44,577
Hoda Ka-Ka-ba... H-Kot...

49
00:02:44,578 --> 00:02:45,879
Kathie Lee Gifford?

50
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:47,474
Ah, come on, it's just an eye-opener.

51
00:02:47,475 --> 00:02:49,373
Just a little hair of the me.

52
00:02:49,374 --> 00:02:52,042
Spoken like a truly unfunny alcoholic.

53
00:02:52,043 --> 00:02:54,578
You know, I bet you couldn't
go a single day without booze.

54
00:02:54,579 --> 00:02:55,880
One day? You're on.

55
00:02:55,881 --> 00:02:57,181
How much you want to bet?

56
00:02:57,182 --> 00:02:59,683
I will bet you one dollar.

57
00:02:59,684 --> 00:03:01,017
Thank you, I will take that

58
00:03:01,018 --> 00:03:03,287
and give you a spoon
'cause you're a dumb baby.

59
00:03:03,288 --> 00:03:06,242
Hey! What the hell do you
think you're... ooh, a spoon!

60
00:03:09,745 --> 00:03:11,729
Okay, another car ride,

61
00:03:11,730 --> 00:03:14,465
another opportunity to
practice my DJ ramp-ups.

62
00:03:14,466 --> 00:03:17,268
Just got to navigate iTunes
while merging onto the freeway.

63
00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:22,239
All right, "Two Princes."

64
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:23,370
Here we go.

65
00:03:24,392 --> 00:03:28,412
95.5, WPET, you got
Peter "The Riff" Griff,

66
00:03:28,413 --> 00:03:30,948
shockin' ya and rockin' ya while
I'm sittin' here talkin' to ya.

67
00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:33,584
It's 75 and sunny, which
means our Street Squad's

68
00:03:33,585 --> 00:03:35,252
gonna be out looking for
them Super Stickers.

69
00:03:35,253 --> 00:03:36,587
If you don't got one,

70
00:03:36,588 --> 00:03:39,255
get down to Linoleum Depot this
Saturday from 9:00 to 2:00.

71
00:03:39,256 --> 00:03:40,491
I'll be there hooking you up.

72
00:03:40,492 --> 00:03:42,393
Slap one on your car,
win a hundred bucks.

73
00:03:42,394 --> 00:03:44,562
Now, I'm looking around and
I'm seeing the Spin Doctors

74
00:03:44,563 --> 00:03:46,730
with not one, but "Two Princes."

75
00:03:48,432 --> 00:03:49,667
Nailed it.

76
00:03:49,668 --> 00:03:52,336
Okay, time for second breakfast.

77
00:03:52,337 --> 00:03:53,671
Welcome to McBurgertown.

78
00:03:53,672 --> 00:03:55,139
What can I get for you today?

79
00:03:55,140 --> 00:03:58,075
Hmm, what's the easiest
thing to eat in the car?

80
00:03:58,076 --> 00:04:00,010
Um, I'll have the huevos rancheros

81
00:04:00,011 --> 00:04:01,979
and an orange soda without a cap.

82
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,481
That'll be $3.74.

83
00:04:03,482 --> 00:04:06,650
Awesome. I can pay in change.

84
00:04:10,672 --> 00:04:12,690
Mmm.

85
00:04:12,691 --> 00:04:14,325
I should visit the Southwest.

86
00:04:14,326 --> 00:04:16,511
I know I'd love it.

87
00:04:23,018 --> 00:04:24,869
Hey, you guys want to
play a drinking game?

88
00:04:24,870 --> 00:04:26,437
- Fleek yeah!
- Not really.

89
00:04:26,438 --> 00:04:27,671
Well, there's this game where

90
00:04:27,672 --> 00:04:29,607
you try to toss a penny
into a shot glass.

91
00:04:29,608 --> 00:04:30,974
And if you miss, you got to drink?

92
00:04:30,975 --> 00:04:32,443
No, you just drink the whole time.

93
00:04:32,444 --> 00:04:34,144
- Aw, sweet!
- Fleekin' "A"!

94
00:04:34,145 --> 00:04:35,479
No more, Joe!

95
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:36,947
Yeah, that sounds awesome.

96
00:04:36,948 --> 00:04:39,244
Hey, anybody got a hundred
pennies for a dollar?

97
00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:40,441
I do.

98
00:04:41,202 --> 00:04:43,486
"American Red Cross"?

99
00:04:43,487 --> 00:04:45,322
Yeah. I stole it from a dry cleaner

100
00:04:45,323 --> 00:04:47,742
who refused to put my picture up.

101
00:04:52,381 --> 00:04:53,664
What do we have...

102
00:04:53,665 --> 00:04:54,965
Oop, too young.

103
00:04:54,966 --> 00:04:56,685
Too young, Tommy.

104
00:04:59,053 --> 00:05:00,503
Can I get an iced coffee?

105
00:05:00,504 --> 00:05:02,005
Oh, no worries?

106
00:05:02,006 --> 00:05:04,140
All right, now, I see
you've got large breasts.

107
00:05:04,141 --> 00:05:07,163
In recognition of that, I'd
like to tip you one dollar.

108
00:05:09,531 --> 00:05:11,849
You know, even though you and
Peter have your differences,

109
00:05:11,850 --> 00:05:14,151
I'm glad it hasn't
affected our friendship.

110
00:05:14,152 --> 00:05:16,520
Us redheads have to
stay together, right?

111
00:05:18,323 --> 00:05:20,224
So this is "stuck at work"?

112
00:05:20,225 --> 00:05:22,393
Honey, please. Lois is a friend.

113
00:05:22,394 --> 00:05:24,861
Really, Nicole, you got the wrong idea.

114
00:05:24,862 --> 00:05:26,229
How does this bitch know my name?

115
00:05:26,230 --> 00:05:27,530
Bitch?

116
00:05:27,531 --> 00:05:29,532
Okay, ho.

117
00:05:29,533 --> 00:05:31,835
Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this.

118
00:05:31,836 --> 00:05:33,889
Come on, now, ladies.

119
00:05:41,046 --> 00:05:44,080
Awesome. A chick-chicken chick fight.

120
00:05:44,081 --> 00:05:46,067
Ah, ha, ha.

121
00:05:52,074 --> 00:05:54,925
Since you are my girlfriend and are hot,

122
00:05:54,926 --> 00:05:57,727
will you marry me so
that I can bone you?

123
00:05:57,728 --> 00:06:00,563
As long as you can always
throw a Nerf football

124
00:06:00,564 --> 00:06:03,032
over my truck with your strong arm.

125
00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:04,702
You mean this arm?

126
00:06:04,703 --> 00:06:05,903
Oh!

127
00:06:05,904 --> 00:06:07,537
Ah, cripes.

128
00:06:07,538 --> 00:06:10,459
Yeah, now there is no way.

129
00:06:13,228 --> 00:06:15,412
Hey, a dollar! Neat!

130
00:06:15,413 --> 00:06:19,483
Maybe her knowing I have money
will bring the moisture.

131
00:06:19,484 --> 00:06:21,217
Janine, wait!

132
00:06:21,218 --> 00:06:22,620
I have a dollar!

133
00:06:22,621 --> 00:06:25,307
We could split a Mickey's Big Mouth!

134
00:06:34,766 --> 00:06:36,418
You gon' crash!

135
00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:40,401
Ah, a parchment of value!

136
00:06:40,402 --> 00:06:41,474
What an event!

137
00:06:41,475 --> 00:06:42,640
You said it, friend.

138
00:06:42,641 --> 00:06:45,660
The goddess of money has
fisted our stocking.

139
00:07:00,809 --> 00:07:04,447
Ho ho! Is many funny arms!

140
00:07:09,117 --> 00:07:11,301
So, the guy asks, "What's
the name of the act?"

141
00:07:11,302 --> 00:07:13,637
And they say, "The Aristocrats."

142
00:07:13,638 --> 00:07:16,306
Ah, I didn't tell it right.

143
00:07:16,307 --> 00:07:18,326
Hey, must be my lucky day!

144
00:07:21,028 --> 00:07:22,979
Perhaps I press my luck.

145
00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:24,515
No Whammies, no Whammies, no Whammies,

146
00:07:24,516 --> 00:07:26,483
Big Bucks, Big Bucks, and... stop!

147
00:07:32,740 --> 00:07:34,157
Ah, rats.

148
00:07:34,158 --> 00:07:36,893
Well, perhaps I press my luck with Meg.

149
00:07:36,894 --> 00:07:38,128
Hey there, Meg.

150
00:07:38,129 --> 00:07:39,863
I was wondering if you'd
let me take you out

151
00:07:39,864 --> 00:07:41,999
for a feast of Indian food, followed by

152
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,501
some blow-off-to-the-side curry burps?

153
00:07:44,502 --> 00:07:46,059
Oh, I-I can't tonight.

154
00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:48,035
I, um, I have a date with a Whammy.

155
00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:51,075
All right, well, if you're ever free,

156
00:07:51,076 --> 00:07:52,360
here's me number.

157
00:08:00,701 --> 00:08:02,652
Oh, hi, Chris.

158
00:08:02,653 --> 00:08:05,222
But... well, that's... that's my line.

159
00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:07,091
Hey, I came by to bring you a frame

160
00:08:07,092 --> 00:08:09,193
for that birthday dollar I gave you.

161
00:08:09,194 --> 00:08:10,828
Hi, Meg.

162
00:08:10,829 --> 00:08:12,930
What a disrespectful turd.

163
00:08:12,931 --> 00:08:14,330
You brought a frame?

164
00:08:14,331 --> 00:08:16,033
Why would I frame a dollar?

165
00:08:16,034 --> 00:08:18,235
Chris, didn't you take
a look at that dollar?

166
00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:20,337
It's an extremely rare misprint.

167
00:08:20,338 --> 00:08:23,396
Benjamin Franklin and Washington
are both on the front,

168
00:08:23,397 --> 00:08:25,695
posing back-to-back like an '80s sitcom.

169
00:08:29,597 --> 00:08:32,490
Sorry, Grandpa, I lost that dollar.

170
00:08:32,491 --> 00:08:33,605
You what?!

171
00:08:33,606 --> 00:08:34,969
We got to find that thing!

172
00:08:38,038 --> 00:08:40,057
I get the last joke
before the commercial?

173
00:08:40,058 --> 00:08:42,421
Wow, this is a first.

174
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,361
Okay, okay... a priest, a rabbi

175
00:08:44,362 --> 00:08:46,196
and a Frenchman walk into a bar...

176
00:08:46,197 --> 00:08:48,198
Family Guy will return
after these messages.

177
00:08:48,199 --> 00:08:50,219
- Last line!
- No, it isn't.

178
00:08:58,608 --> 00:09:00,893
All right, Chris, if we're going
to find that misprint dollar,

179
00:09:00,894 --> 00:09:02,628
we have to retrace your steps.

180
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,630
Now, where'd you go after
your birthday party?

181
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,465
Well, first I drank a Four Loko,

182
00:09:06,466 --> 00:09:08,767
and then I rode my bike
down to the hair salon

183
00:09:08,768 --> 00:09:11,637
and shouted "Nope!" at all
the women who came out.

184
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:14,137
Huh. Call me next time you do that.

185
00:09:14,658 --> 00:09:16,047
Hi, Meg.

186
00:09:17,077 --> 00:09:18,683
Unbelievable.

187
00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:25,356
Can I have a can of chaw and a fork?

188
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:28,450
Do you need this phone number on here?

189
00:09:28,451 --> 00:09:29,640
Nah.

190
00:09:30,931 --> 00:09:32,742
How long has that bike been out front?

191
00:09:32,743 --> 00:09:34,672
I don't know, a couple hours.

192
00:09:34,673 --> 00:09:36,858
I'm gonna swipe that puppy.

193
00:09:38,993 --> 00:09:41,513
All right, got some vodka and tampons.

194
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:44,182
Now to go ask Chris how they're
doing this at the high school.

195
00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:45,582
- Aha!
- Stewie?

196
00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:47,351
Wh-What are you doing here?

197
00:09:47,352 --> 00:09:49,520
Busting you. You were gonna drink that.

198
00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:51,121
Technically, no.

199
00:09:51,122 --> 00:09:52,456
Do you even hear yourself?

200
00:09:52,457 --> 00:09:54,124
Look, I'm gonna fix this.

201
00:09:54,125 --> 00:09:57,294
I know a guy who's got pills
that help stop addictions.

202
00:09:57,295 --> 00:09:59,096
Ugh, fine.

203
00:09:59,097 --> 00:10:01,032
All right, we are buying none of these.

204
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:03,167
Please put them back. But
we'll take one of these.

205
00:10:03,168 --> 00:10:05,637
Ooh, Charleston Chew. Good choice.

206
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,304
You know about putting
them in the freezer?

207
00:10:07,305 --> 00:10:09,006
Yeah. I know about the freezer.

208
00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:10,802
There's nothing you can
teach me, thank you.

209
00:10:17,103 --> 00:10:18,850
All right, this is where
we can buy those pills

210
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:20,384
to get you off the sauce.

211
00:10:20,385 --> 00:10:21,852
You guys ready for this?

212
00:10:21,853 --> 00:10:23,355
Stewie, who is this guy?

213
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,322
My friend, Todd. He's gonna help us out.

214
00:10:25,323 --> 00:10:26,790
But this looks like a drug den.

215
00:10:26,791 --> 00:10:28,359
What are you talking about?

216
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,327
? Drug den, drug den ?

217
00:10:30,328 --> 00:10:32,162
? Drug den, drug den. ?

218
00:10:32,163 --> 00:10:33,994
I told you it was a drug den.

219
00:10:33,995 --> 00:10:36,427
How you doing? Come on in.

220
00:10:43,675 --> 00:10:45,342
Hello, new friends.

221
00:10:45,343 --> 00:10:47,755
Welcome to my "prescription pad."

222
00:10:47,756 --> 00:10:49,013
Get it?

223
00:10:49,014 --> 00:10:50,581
W-We're dead. We're getting shot.

224
00:10:50,582 --> 00:10:51,629
Oh, calm down.

225
00:10:51,630 --> 00:10:53,717
Heads up. Sometimes my
knob plays peek-a-boo

226
00:10:53,718 --> 00:10:55,386
through my pee hatch.

227
00:10:55,387 --> 00:10:57,087
So, I hear you guys need some benzos.

228
00:10:57,088 --> 00:10:59,143
Yeah, we got to dry this dog up.

229
00:10:59,144 --> 00:11:01,124
W-Wait, hang on, hang on, hang on.

230
00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:02,750
This is my favorite part of the song.

231
00:11:07,265 --> 00:11:08,472
- Tequila!
- ? Motoring. ?

232
00:11:08,473 --> 00:11:10,167
Ah, I'm thinking of a different song.

233
00:11:10,168 --> 00:11:12,169
So, uh, you guys got the $500?

234
00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:13,605
Here's a little taste.

235
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,072
And there's more where that came from.

236
00:11:15,073 --> 00:11:16,874
But I got to see the merchandise first.

237
00:11:16,875 --> 00:11:18,317
Good, good, I need singles.

238
00:11:18,318 --> 00:11:20,210
I got to do laundry so
I can stop hanging out

239
00:11:20,211 --> 00:11:22,046
in my underwear with a bunch of guys.

240
00:11:22,047 --> 00:11:23,847
All right, give me all your money!

241
00:11:23,848 --> 00:11:25,048
Stewie, what's this guy doing?

242
00:11:25,049 --> 00:11:26,880
No idea. I don't know him that well.

243
00:11:26,881 --> 00:11:29,627
He was kicking a Redbox
machine outside of CVS.

244
00:11:29,628 --> 00:11:31,556
Seemed like the kind of guy
who could help us out.

245
00:11:56,765 --> 00:11:57,881
Damn it.

246
00:11:57,882 --> 00:11:59,601
Pistorius!

247
00:12:00,569 --> 00:12:02,787
Boom! Through the bathroom door.

248
00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:04,721
Did you just name-drop "Pistorius"?

249
00:12:04,722 --> 00:12:06,423
He's still a hero to us.

250
00:12:06,424 --> 00:12:09,427
So I made it, Cleveland made
it, and now you made it, Joe.

251
00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:10,628
Yeah. Thanks for the recap.

252
00:12:10,629 --> 00:12:13,230
Yeah. Everybody's made it but this guy.

253
00:12:13,231 --> 00:12:14,731
Quit it! Get off of me.

254
00:12:14,732 --> 00:12:15,933
Ah, what's wrong, Pete?

255
00:12:15,934 --> 00:12:17,302
Boop. Boop. Boop-boop-boop.

256
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,602
Stop it! Stop touching me.

257
00:12:18,603 --> 00:12:20,270
Hey, guys, I did it three more times

258
00:12:20,271 --> 00:12:22,257
while you were grab-assing.

259
00:12:27,628 --> 00:12:29,614
Need a lift?

260
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,288
We could be a Geico commercial.

261
00:12:38,289 --> 00:12:40,357
You're absolutely right.

262
00:12:40,358 --> 00:12:43,594
You don't have ass or grass,
so I'll be taking this dollar.

263
00:12:44,963 --> 00:12:46,399
No, no, no. I don't want ass.

264
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,769
Just give me the dollar.

265
00:12:48,770 --> 00:12:51,338
And now to turn slightly.

266
00:12:53,574 --> 00:12:55,133
Ah, heck!

267
00:12:55,134 --> 00:12:56,576
I did a fail.

268
00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:06,536
Ah, a dollar.

269
00:13:08,605 --> 00:13:10,123
Oh, my dollar.

270
00:13:10,124 --> 00:13:12,092
I guess Meg didn't care.

271
00:13:12,093 --> 00:13:14,095
My heart broken,

272
00:13:14,096 --> 00:13:17,130
and nothing to console me but
the screaming black dolphins.

273
00:13:17,131 --> 00:13:19,667
Man, that dollar's
getting all over town.

274
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,302
Yeah, like your mama.

275
00:13:21,303 --> 00:13:23,537
Ah, dag!

276
00:13:23,538 --> 00:13:25,340
Aw, man, you know I'm just playin'.

277
00:13:25,341 --> 00:13:27,174
Hey, man, you seen that movie The Cove?

278
00:13:27,175 --> 00:13:28,375
The Cove?

279
00:13:28,376 --> 00:13:30,270
How yous gonna be
talkin' about The Cove?

280
00:13:30,271 --> 00:13:33,814
I mean, I saw the movie, but
I was like, "Oh, (BLEEP)."

281
00:13:33,815 --> 00:13:36,017
Ah, man, you know, what even is a cove?

282
00:13:36,018 --> 00:13:38,820
I think it's like what a
white dolphin calls a bay.

283
00:13:38,821 --> 00:13:40,455
They be all like, "Honey,

284
00:13:40,456 --> 00:13:43,191
I'm taking Cooper and
Tucker down to the cove."

285
00:13:43,192 --> 00:13:44,892
- Right, right.
- Rest of us be like,

286
00:13:44,893 --> 00:13:48,128
- ? Sittin' in the mornin' sun. ?
- Don't do it, then,

287
00:13:48,129 --> 00:13:49,463
- don't do it!
- Oh, I'm-a do it!

288
00:13:49,464 --> 00:13:51,331
All right, t-then just
squeak out the whistle part.

289
00:14:15,607 --> 00:14:17,859
You ever had your heart broken, Jerome?

290
00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:19,259
Hell yeah, man.

291
00:14:19,260 --> 00:14:21,028
Married my high school sweetheart.

292
00:14:21,029 --> 00:14:24,364
Week after our wedding, she
was diagnosed with cancer.

293
00:14:24,365 --> 00:14:26,900
At her funeral, our little
girl caught pneumonia.

294
00:14:26,901 --> 00:14:29,870
We buried her next to her
mom six weeks later.

295
00:14:29,871 --> 00:14:32,939
You never seen a casket so small.

296
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,442
I hear you.

297
00:14:34,443 --> 00:14:37,043
I gave me number to a girl
and she threw it away.

298
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,897
You and me, fraternity of pain, eh?

299
00:14:42,599 --> 00:14:44,369
Okay, this is the one.

300
00:14:45,903 --> 00:14:47,038
Son of a...

301
00:14:56,524 --> 00:14:58,932
- Come on, Peter. Let's call it.
- No, Joe!

302
00:14:58,933 --> 00:15:01,369
Nobody's leaving until I
sink a penny in that glass!

303
00:15:01,370 --> 00:15:03,638
- Oh, for God's sakes.
- No...

304
00:15:03,639 --> 00:15:05,239
Say, Peter, you know, maybe you should

305
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:06,807
try this one with your eyes closed.

306
00:15:06,808 --> 00:15:07,908
Just feel it.

307
00:15:07,909 --> 00:15:09,409
But if I close my eyes,

308
00:15:09,410 --> 00:15:12,475
you'll all disappear and I'm
a-scared of being alone.

309
00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:13,655
Don't worry, Peter.

310
00:15:14,949 --> 00:15:16,416
Guys?

311
00:15:16,417 --> 00:15:17,935
We're right here, Peter. Throw it.

312
00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:24,558
Oh, my God, I made it?

313
00:15:24,559 --> 00:15:25,759
- Sure.
- Right in.

314
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:26,893
Amazing.

315
00:15:26,894 --> 00:15:29,463
Yes! I've never felt so much power.

316
00:15:29,464 --> 00:15:32,517
I'm gonna go have sweaty
day-sex with my wife.

317
00:15:33,785 --> 00:15:34,936
Excuse me, sir,

318
00:15:34,937 --> 00:15:37,707
would you like to buy some
candy to send Jewish kids

319
00:15:37,708 --> 00:15:40,542
to a Jewish place to do Jewish things?

320
00:15:40,543 --> 00:15:42,109
Will it get you out of my bar?

321
00:15:42,110 --> 00:15:43,929
It sure will.

322
00:15:54,305 --> 00:15:57,624
Look who's still standing, bitch.

323
00:15:57,625 --> 00:16:00,646
Go buy yourself something nice in hell.

324
00:16:04,961 --> 00:16:06,333
Hey there, sailor.

325
00:16:06,334 --> 00:16:07,667
What are you doing here?

326
00:16:07,668 --> 00:16:10,605
Oh, sometimes I come
here to think and fart.

327
00:16:10,606 --> 00:16:12,472
So, you still up for our date?

328
00:16:12,473 --> 00:16:14,374
Our date? But I thought you got rid

329
00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:16,009
of the dollar with my number on it.

330
00:16:16,010 --> 00:16:18,681
No, I put your number
in my phone, silly.

331
00:16:18,682 --> 00:16:20,648
So, what do you say?
Are you free tonight?

332
00:16:20,649 --> 00:16:23,017
Let me consult me charts and maps.

333
00:16:23,018 --> 00:16:26,737
Low tide... 5:23.

334
00:16:26,738 --> 00:16:29,689
Oh, yeah. Moonrise, 7:48.

335
00:16:31,559 --> 00:16:32,921
Aye, looks like I am.

336
00:16:45,223 --> 00:16:47,173
Lois, I tossed a penny in a shot glass,

337
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:50,155
so get your pants off and put
a towel on the kitchen table!

338
00:16:50,156 --> 00:16:51,975
Peter, I'm in the middle of book club.

339
00:16:51,976 --> 00:16:53,841
Forget book club, we're doin' it.

340
00:16:53,842 --> 00:16:56,223
Anyone who doesn't want to see
my big, white, flailing butt,

341
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,036
get the hell out.

342
00:17:01,619 --> 00:17:03,615
Joe, I found a dollar!

343
00:17:03,616 --> 00:17:04,822
That's great, Bonnie!

344
00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:07,107
Let's go to dinner. We
can talk all about it.

345
00:17:07,108 --> 00:17:08,261
What's there to talk about?

346
00:17:08,262 --> 00:17:11,076
I looked down on the ground
and there was a dollar.

347
00:17:11,077 --> 00:17:13,499
Bonnie, save it for the dinner table!

348
00:17:15,623 --> 00:17:17,912
Crap, I don't have any change.

349
00:17:18,456 --> 00:17:20,840
Hey, Seamus, you got
change for a dollar?

350
00:17:20,841 --> 00:17:24,121
I don't know. Is my boat parked
illegally in the harbor?

351
00:17:24,122 --> 00:17:25,175
I don't know.

352
00:17:25,176 --> 00:17:26,713
Are you gonna make a contribution

353
00:17:26,714 --> 00:17:28,214
to the Policeman's Ball?

354
00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:30,884
I don't know. Are you gonna
help me move next week?

355
00:17:30,885 --> 00:17:33,433
Geez, what are you two,
dating or something?

356
00:17:33,738 --> 00:17:35,096
I don't know.

357
00:17:43,581 --> 00:17:46,380
Good evening, everyone.
Welcome to Whispers.

358
00:17:46,381 --> 00:17:48,635
I'm your hostess, Ida, and as always,

359
00:17:48,636 --> 00:17:51,902
I am joined by my trusty
psychic, Ryan Reynolds.

360
00:17:51,903 --> 00:17:54,107
I knew you'd say that.

361
00:17:54,108 --> 00:17:56,977
Piano? Comedy? What don't you do?

362
00:17:56,978 --> 00:17:58,613
Windows.

363
00:17:58,614 --> 00:18:01,338
Trust me, folks, he doesn't, I've tried.

364
00:18:01,339 --> 00:18:02,935
God, this is going well.

365
00:18:04,102 --> 00:18:07,555
Well, Stewie, you were right. I couldn't
make it a day without drinking.

366
00:18:07,556 --> 00:18:08,755
Well, the important thing is

367
00:18:08,756 --> 00:18:11,092
you barely tried and then got shot.

368
00:18:11,093 --> 00:18:13,948
So I read a fun compatibility
quiz in Cosmo.

369
00:18:13,949 --> 00:18:15,228
I don't know if you want to take it.

370
00:18:15,229 --> 00:18:16,707
- I don't.
- I didn't either!

371
00:18:16,708 --> 00:18:17,742
Compatible!

372
00:18:17,743 --> 00:18:19,399
If you'll excuse me, I have to urinate

373
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,934
every time something good happens.

374
00:18:22,762 --> 00:18:24,904
I thought the show was really great.

375
00:18:24,905 --> 00:18:27,825
Thank you. I couldn't help but
notice you talked throughout it.

376
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:31,444
Take it off!

377
00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:33,331
I want to see if mine look right.

378
00:18:34,632 --> 00:18:36,449
Well, Chris, we've looked all over town.

379
00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:37,952
Might as well check here.

380
00:18:37,953 --> 00:18:40,754
This is where dollar bills come to die.

381
00:18:40,755 --> 00:18:42,441
Wait, Grandpa, look!

382
00:18:45,329 --> 00:18:46,698
I don't believe it!

383
00:18:52,016 --> 00:18:54,268
Oh, no. Now we'll never find it.

384
00:18:54,269 --> 00:18:56,470
Hold on. I got an idea.

385
00:18:56,471 --> 00:18:58,806
Hey, can I turn off everything
but the black lights?

386
00:18:58,807 --> 00:19:01,325
- Sure, I don't care about anything.
- Cool.

387
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:04,778
Wow, this place is gross!

388
00:19:04,779 --> 00:19:07,798
Yeah, the NBA All-Star Game
was in town last week.

389
00:19:08,567 --> 00:19:09,983
There it is!

390
00:19:09,984 --> 00:19:12,276
I got it, Grandpa!

391
00:19:12,836 --> 00:19:13,987
Attaboy!

392
00:19:13,988 --> 00:19:15,897
Happy Birthday, Grandson.

393
00:19:15,898 --> 00:19:17,057
Thanks.

394
00:19:17,058 --> 00:19:20,060
Hey, so, how much is this
rare dollar worth, anyway?

395
00:19:20,061 --> 00:19:22,862
Ah, well, some dildo wrote
his phone number on it,

396
00:19:22,863 --> 00:19:25,050
so now it's worth jack!

397
00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:43,049
Ho ho!

398
00:19:43,050 --> 00:19:45,685
Is everyone who was in the show!

399
00:19:45,686 --> 00:19:47,487
H-Hold on, everyone. Everyone?

400
00:19:47,488 --> 00:19:50,223
Ellen DeGeneres wants a
selfie of all of us.

401
00:19:50,224 --> 00:19:51,591
Come on, squeeze in, now.

402
00:19:51,592 --> 00:19:53,059
We're gonna blow up the Internet.

403
00:19:53,060 --> 00:19:56,280
Let's take all that we did today
and make it all about Ellen.

404
00:20:01,693 --> 00:20:03,388
Hey, I'm right here!

405
00:20:03,389 --> 00:20:05,223
That caption's a phony!

406
00:20:05,224 --> 00:20:07,225
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com