1
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,675
Next item on the agenda.

2
00:00:09,826 --> 00:00:10,992
Principal Duggins.

3
00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:14,161
Well, I see
that not one of your students

4
00:00:14,173 --> 00:00:17,040
was able to meet the
national fitness standards:

5
00:00:17,134 --> 00:00:18,449
a light jog.

6
00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:20,026
Come on, Duggins.

7
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,378
You got to be a role
model for those lazy kids.

8
00:00:22,531 --> 00:00:25,381
Tell them you put in two
hours a day stretching...

9
00:00:25,534 --> 00:00:27,134
your lap band.

10
00:00:34,543 --> 00:00:37,227
Oh, my goodness.
Thank you, Principal Finch.

11
00:00:37,321 --> 00:00:41,047
Well, I guess we can cross
"hilarious joke" off the agenda.

12
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:43,066
Oh, I-I've also got a funny thing.

13
00:00:43,921 --> 00:00:46,219
Duggins' wife was unfaithful.

14
00:00:47,855 --> 00:00:51,315
Skinner, learn how to read a room.

15
00:00:51,376 --> 00:00:53,393
- Sorry, Duggins.
- Screw you.

16
00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:57,063
Indeed. Now, as you all know,
this weekend in Cincinnati

17
00:00:57,123 --> 00:01:00,233
is the national
administrator's convention,

18
00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:01,676
or EDU-CON.

19
00:01:01,869 --> 00:01:04,571
And, uh, well, I have been invited

20
00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:06,573
to give the keynote address.

21
00:01:07,828 --> 00:01:09,166
Oh, well.

22
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,463
Yes. Uh, Sunday.

23
00:01:11,212 --> 00:01:12,595
Main auditorium.

24
00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:16,483
The Proctor & Gamble Room? Crushed it!

25
00:01:19,696 --> 00:01:22,088
Well, that couldn't have gone worse.

26
00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:23,273
I agree.

27
00:01:23,367 --> 00:01:24,533
Yes, well, as you all know,

28
00:01:24,726 --> 00:01:27,351
the budget allows for a plus-one,

29
00:01:27,371 --> 00:01:29,037
and I was thinking I would bring

30
00:01:29,206 --> 00:01:32,282
the principal with the
highest test scores,

31
00:01:32,376 --> 00:01:34,734
- Finch.
- Well, that's not fair.

32
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:37,212
Finch runs the magnet school
for gifted test takers.

33
00:01:37,405 --> 00:01:40,364
Uh, sorry, Seymour,
but I have made my decision.

34
00:01:40,384 --> 00:01:42,776
If it makes you feel any better,
you were never in the running.

35
00:01:42,886 --> 00:01:46,537
Hey, we are gonna light Cincinnati up.

36
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,965
I got a buddy who used to be the
long snapper for the Bengals.

37
00:01:49,059 --> 00:01:51,301
He co-owns this amazing poké place.

38
00:01:51,453 --> 00:01:53,119
Seaweed, furikake,

39
00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,470
soakin' in ponzu!

40
00:01:54,565 --> 00:01:57,482
My God, you're cool.

41
00:01:58,870 --> 00:01:59,918
-

42
00:02:00,219 --> 00:02:03,054
Okay, this is for all the marbles.

43
00:02:05,829 --> 00:02:08,468
No wonder Chalmers
is taking Finch to Cincinnati.

44
00:02:08,570 --> 00:02:09,969
How'd you hear about that?

45
00:02:10,071 --> 00:02:11,805
It's all over the playground.

46
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,306
* Chalmers went to Cincy *

47
00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:14,899
* Didn't take our princy *

48
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,827
* How many tears did Skinner cry? *

49
00:02:17,921 --> 00:02:20,255
* One, two, three, four, five. *

50
00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:21,831
Well, as usual,

51
00:02:21,925 --> 00:02:24,317
the double Dutchers have
zeroed in on my pain.

52
00:02:25,929 --> 00:02:28,113
Look, Seymour,
are you ready for some tough love?

53
00:02:28,140 --> 00:02:29,172
Is there any other kind?

54
00:02:29,308 --> 00:02:30,840
Being around you sucks.

55
00:02:30,934 --> 00:02:33,101
No one's ever gonna
invite you to anything.

56
00:02:33,252 --> 00:02:34,752
If there's a party you want to go to,

57
00:02:34,771 --> 00:02:36,012
you got to crash it,

58
00:02:36,106 --> 00:02:37,831
or you'll spend the rest of your life

59
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:40,942
sitting around with your
hand stuck in a pelvis.

60
00:02:42,946 --> 00:02:45,338
It's too late.
The plus-one has been invoked.

61
00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:47,431
Dude, you're Seymour Skinner.

62
00:02:47,492 --> 00:02:49,784
No matter how badly you're treated,

63
00:02:49,977 --> 00:02:51,010
you keep coming back for more.

64
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:53,437
That's your superpower. Use it!

65
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:56,082
You're right. I will.

66
00:02:57,702 --> 00:03:00,754
Aw, look at you, grazing the thumb.

67
00:03:03,825 --> 00:03:05,467
Come on. Come on, come on, come on.

68
00:03:07,137 --> 00:03:08,544
Finch, where are you?

69
00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:10,121
We're going to miss our flight.

70
00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:11,622
Can't make it, Gary.

71
00:03:11,642 --> 00:03:12,957
I ate some pre-trip poké last night,

72
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,868
and it's blitzkrieging my intestines.

73
00:03:14,969 --> 00:03:17,537
I'm firing salmon eggs from both ends.

74
00:03:17,555 --> 00:03:19,205
But you're my ride to the airport.

75
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:22,041
My car's in the shop being winterized.

76
00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:24,210
Sorry, dude. Yeah? Cool.

77
00:03:26,064 --> 00:03:28,657
Hop in, sir.
We still have time to make our flight.

78
00:03:28,850 --> 00:03:31,660
Skinner? W-What are you doing here?

79
00:03:31,853 --> 00:03:33,978
Well, I saw on Finch's InstaSnap story

80
00:03:33,997 --> 00:03:35,889
that he's firing salmon
eggs from both ends.

81
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,074
So I rushed over here at once.

82
00:03:38,226 --> 00:03:40,335
You want to come with me to Cincinnat...
No. Thank you.

83
00:03:40,528 --> 00:03:43,079
Very thoughtful, Seymour,
but I-I wouldn't want to...

84
00:03:43,173 --> 00:03:45,173
You wouldn't want the
school board to find out

85
00:03:45,342 --> 00:03:47,676
you wasted the transferrable
but not refundable

86
00:03:47,869 --> 00:03:51,328
$65 plus-one registration fee?

87
00:03:52,208 --> 00:03:54,015
No, I would not.

88
00:03:54,208 --> 00:03:56,601
Oh, boy.

89
00:04:00,691 --> 00:04:02,639
Ah, Game Night.

90
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,342
Jason Bateman, your boyish charisma

91
00:04:05,404 --> 00:04:08,087
was made for the
low-res seatback screen.

92
00:04:09,241 --> 00:04:10,606
Sir, are you all right?

93
00:04:10,759 --> 00:04:12,016
Uh, if you must know,

94
00:04:12,035 --> 00:04:14,185
flying makes me just
a little bit nervous.

95
00:04:14,246 --> 00:04:15,762
Where'd you put my carry-on?

96
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,947
I'm going to pop an antianxiety pill.

97
00:04:18,041 --> 00:04:20,433
Oh, I gate-checked your bag. It's free,

98
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,936
and you don't have to fight
for precious overhead space.

99
00:04:22,954 --> 00:04:25,121
Another classic Skinner travel hack.

100
00:04:25,215 --> 00:04:27,716
My pills were in that bag, you idiot!

101
00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:30,835
You... Okay. Okay. I can do this.

102
00:04:31,769 --> 00:04:33,613
It's just a short domestic flight.

103
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:35,890
I'm completely safe, right?

104
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,800
Sure. And if you're stressed,
you can take comfort

105
00:04:37,894 --> 00:04:40,544
in the passengers'
many emotional support animals.

106
00:04:40,605 --> 00:04:43,047
Ugh. Aah!

107
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:45,641
Pig? Aah!

108
00:04:45,736 --> 00:04:47,477
I'm going to die in a flying zoo.

109
00:04:54,402 --> 00:04:58,872
Everyone around you is
taking their shoes off.

110
00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:02,825
Okay, no one is safe. No one's sa...

111
00:05:02,919 --> 00:05:05,144
That-that phone is not in airplane mode.

112
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,905
The pilot dresses like an alcoholic!

113
00:05:07,924 --> 00:05:10,149
Somebody's yelling! Who is yelling?!

114
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:13,002
Where in the name of
God is the air marshal?!

115
00:05:20,192 --> 00:05:23,179
You're banned from Air
Cincinnati forever.

116
00:05:24,131 --> 00:05:26,274
Well, we've got to get another flight.

117
00:05:26,425 --> 00:05:28,167
Uh, we can't, sir.

118
00:05:28,269 --> 00:05:31,187
Uh, Air Cincinnati's the only
airline that flies to Cincinnati

119
00:05:31,281 --> 00:05:33,689
since the demise of Cincin-Air-Y.

120
00:05:33,784 --> 00:05:35,266
Well, that's just great. That's great!

121
00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:37,176
In 36 hours, I have to give

122
00:05:37,195 --> 00:05:39,103
the most important speech of my life.

123
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,605
Now, how in the name
of Satan's jockstrap

124
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,042
am I supposed to get there?

125
00:05:45,462 --> 00:05:47,703
Please, sir.
If you give me one last chance,

126
00:05:47,798 --> 00:05:49,464
I will think of nothing
else but getting you

127
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:51,707
to that keynote speech on time.

128
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,011
Nah, I'll just drive myself.

129
00:05:57,808 --> 00:06:00,199
All right, where is your car?

130
00:06:00,301 --> 00:06:01,868
It, too, is being winterized.

131
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,870
But I know where to get one.

132
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,463
Oh, no. You're not borrowing my Buick.

133
00:06:06,525 --> 00:06:08,483
I just had it winterized.

134
00:06:08,676 --> 00:06:11,956
But, Mother,
this road trip is my last chance

135
00:06:11,991 --> 00:06:14,213
to become friends with the man
I admire most in the world.

136
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:15,306
Please.

137
00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:18,159
Well, you did do such a nice job

138
00:06:18,352 --> 00:06:20,853
re-beading my eyeglass chain.

139
00:06:20,888 --> 00:06:23,957
I guess a boy your age
should have friends.

140
00:06:29,914 --> 00:06:33,134
Ah, you, me and the open road, huh?

141
00:06:33,169 --> 00:06:37,737
Yeah. Maybe some music will
make the time pass more quickly.

142
00:06:38,382 --> 00:06:41,197
* Timothy, Timothy... *

143
00:06:41,299 --> 00:06:43,576
I hope you like this song,
'cause it's stuck in the player,

144
00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:45,244
and there's no volume knob.

145
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:48,339
* Timothy, Timothy *

146
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:52,735
* God, what did we do? *

147
00:06:57,523 --> 00:06:58,817
-

148
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:01,202
Oh, did you know that in Cincinnati,
they have

149
00:07:01,395 --> 00:07:03,354
four different ways of preparing chili?

150
00:07:03,373 --> 00:07:04,855
You don't say, huh?

151
00:07:04,916 --> 00:07:06,541
- Four different ways.
- The two-way,

152
00:07:06,734 --> 00:07:07,767
- chili with spaghetti.
- How about that.

153
00:07:07,785 --> 00:07:09,452
- Spaghetti?
- The three-way,

154
00:07:09,604 --> 00:07:10,770
- chili with spaghetti and cheese.
- Lot of ways.

155
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,271
- Please shut up.
- Oh!

156
00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:13,773
- Oh, he's got more.
- And there's two kinds

157
00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:15,216
- of four-ways.
- I just... I-I want to die.

158
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,719
Hmm? Mm!

159
00:07:19,263 --> 00:07:21,221
Hitchhikers! Oh, thank the Lord.

160
00:07:21,282 --> 00:07:23,223
Hitchhikers, sir? Is this safe?

161
00:07:23,284 --> 00:07:25,150
They can bury us in a shallow grave

162
00:07:25,286 --> 00:07:27,411
as long as they don't talk about chili.

163
00:07:27,604 --> 00:07:30,656
Thanks for picking us up.
We're on our way to a gig.

164
00:07:30,792 --> 00:07:33,417
Oh, a-a gig. Are you, uh, musicians?

165
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,068
Oh, no. We do...

166
00:07:35,129 --> 00:07:36,979
Improv Shakespeare!

167
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:38,814
Improvisers?

168
00:07:38,874 --> 00:07:41,484
In the style of Shakespeare?
That seems impossible.

169
00:07:41,585 --> 00:07:43,910
Methinks this noble
lord doth doubt our wit.

170
00:07:44,013 --> 00:07:47,006
We must perform or else be deemed unfit!

171
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:50,768
A word, a word. My kingdom for a word.

172
00:07:50,961 --> 00:07:54,087
- No, no, don't give them a suggestion.
- Cupholders.

173
00:07:54,148 --> 00:07:56,181
To grasp a cup would
seem a great ordeal.

174
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:59,685
When one must keep both
hands upon the wheel.

175
00:07:59,821 --> 00:08:03,764
The pentameter checks out.
Your parents must be so proud.

176
00:08:03,825 --> 00:08:04,931
They're not.

177
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:11,864
Toupee or not toupee,

178
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,349
that is the question.

179
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,942
You are the only ones having fun!

180
00:08:16,004 --> 00:08:17,202
Just you!

181
00:08:17,355 --> 00:08:18,871
Oh, oh, beware the ides of...

182
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,358
Truck!

183
00:08:23,218 --> 00:08:25,421
-

184
00:08:30,685 --> 00:08:34,036
Well, well, well, what have we got here?

185
00:08:35,004 --> 00:08:37,648
Don't worry, Officer.
It's, uh, minor damage.

186
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,233
Nothing serious.

187
00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,988
Alas, poor Buick. I knew it well.

188
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:45,103
Oh!

189
00:08:49,521 --> 00:08:51,154
-

190
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:54,056
Dear Lord. Our car,
our wallets, our luggage,

191
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,225
they're all blown to shreds.

192
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,984
But the keynote. Your speech.

193
00:08:58,004 --> 00:08:59,578
It's all on the cards right here.

194
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:02,840
But what good will it be
when some backwoods judge

195
00:09:02,991 --> 00:09:04,491
throws the book at us, huh?

196
00:09:04,594 --> 00:09:08,804
All rise for the Honorable
Judge J.T. Winchester.

197
00:09:10,499 --> 00:09:12,925
Who dragged me in here on a Saturday

198
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,927
in the middle of my Lifetime movies?

199
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:17,246
I'm missing my Lifetimes!

200
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:20,674
An old woman who's enraged
by my very existence.

201
00:09:20,735 --> 00:09:23,510
Don't worry, sir. I got this.

202
00:09:23,571 --> 00:09:25,029
Your Honor, permission to observe

203
00:09:25,222 --> 00:09:28,532
that your poor cuticles
are raw and torn.

204
00:09:28,684 --> 00:09:30,092
Thanks to my idiot son.

205
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,928
He made my manicure
appointment with Tanya P.

206
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,446
instead of Tanya G.

207
00:09:34,582 --> 00:09:37,616
Oh, well, that boy's
as useless as a shaved frog.

208
00:09:37,752 --> 00:09:39,043
Now, Mother...

209
00:09:39,194 --> 00:09:41,379
Hush up and empty the spittoons,
Fennimore.

210
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:46,108
You know, I always travel

211
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:48,293
with cuticle scissors and jojoba oil.

212
00:09:48,446 --> 00:09:51,097
Let's get these ladies
ready for their close-up.

213
00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:55,951
Now, you have fun
at the convention, boys.

214
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,878
You just bring it back whenever.

215
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,899
Mother, you never let me
drive the Cutlass.

216
00:10:02,092 --> 00:10:05,218
My car is for good boys!

217
00:10:05,321 --> 00:10:07,488
Hmm.

218
00:10:09,118 --> 00:10:11,118
-

219
00:10:11,547 --> 00:10:14,653
* Timothy, Timothy *

220
00:10:14,789 --> 00:10:18,082
* God, what did we do? *

221
00:10:19,568 --> 00:10:21,810
Well, we're only
a half hour behind schedule.

222
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,495
Should we, uh, brainstorm on a code

223
00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:24,997
for the hotel room safe?

224
00:10:25,149 --> 00:10:27,816
Seymour, you charmed
the Depends off that lady.

225
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,094
I believe I owe you a beer.

226
00:10:30,972 --> 00:10:32,655
A biker bar?

227
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,098
Are you sure it's safe?

228
00:10:34,249 --> 00:10:36,434
All right,
stop quivering like a quince jelly.

229
00:10:36,585 --> 00:10:38,352
You're with me.

230
00:10:50,825 --> 00:10:53,451
Sir, this isn't a biker bar.

231
00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:55,678
It's a cyclist bar.

232
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:56,862
Don't be a ninny, Seymour.

233
00:10:57,014 --> 00:10:58,197
Uh, barkeep!

234
00:10:58,349 --> 00:11:00,199
A beer for me and my coworker here.

235
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,851
We just serve energy gels and oxygen.

236
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:05,045
You don't like it, get out.

237
00:11:10,511 --> 00:11:13,119
You two oil burners
might want to skedaddle

238
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:16,307
before my resting heart
rate elevates to 60 bpm.

239
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:18,884
That's "beats per minute," oil burner!

240
00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:31,489
Uh, why don't you calm down there, Slim?

241
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:35,451
What did you call me?

242
00:11:38,305 --> 00:11:39,387
Uh...

243
00:11:39,523 --> 00:11:41,165
Uh... Oh.

244
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,564
The bike computers!

245
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,415
All our stats were on there!

246
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,417
They hadn't synced yet!

247
00:11:52,553 --> 00:11:55,738
Yeah, but you-you still got
the exercise, right?

248
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:07,507
Whoa. It's as if the rules of the road

249
00:12:07,568 --> 00:12:08,917
don't apply to them.

250
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:11,603
Are you pedestrians or vehicles?!

251
00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:13,088
Make a choice!

252
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:14,273
Never!

253
00:12:15,491 --> 00:12:17,785
Whoa! Whoa!

254
00:12:19,815 --> 00:12:21,780
Skinner, what do we do?

255
00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:24,208
Seymour! Well, don't go!

256
00:12:24,401 --> 00:12:25,709
Skinner?

257
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:36,295
Step away from my superintendent.

258
00:12:37,509 --> 00:12:39,390
What's he gonna do? He's just one guy.

259
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,468
You're never alone

260
00:12:43,621 --> 00:12:46,730
when you're a veteran of
the U.S. Armed Forces.

261
00:12:46,923 --> 00:12:48,791
And I do mean armed.

262
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:53,145
Para-athletes like us are the
natural enemy of cycling clubs.

263
00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:55,889
Their biceps are bigger than my quads!

264
00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:58,033
To the support van!

265
00:13:05,025 --> 00:13:06,558
Seymour, how did you...

266
00:13:06,694 --> 00:13:08,893
I keep abreast
of local veterans' events.

267
00:13:09,046 --> 00:13:11,321
Luckily,
the Wheel Team Six para-marathoners

268
00:13:11,514 --> 00:13:12,990
were racing nearby.

269
00:13:13,158 --> 00:13:15,283
Seymour, you have earned this.

270
00:13:16,352 --> 00:13:18,495
Ooh!

271
00:13:20,157 --> 00:13:22,499
You know, there was a time
I would have mocked you

272
00:13:22,692 --> 00:13:26,319
for collecting bed-and-breakfast
travel points with your mother,

273
00:13:26,422 --> 00:13:28,654
but, I'll tell ya,
today those points have paid

274
00:13:28,674 --> 00:13:30,841
for this sweet, thick elderberry wine.

275
00:13:31,034 --> 00:13:34,494
Well, nothing is as sweet
as your kind words.

276
00:13:34,555 --> 00:13:35,920
Aw.

277
00:13:37,758 --> 00:13:39,349
- Ooh.
- Oh, yeah. That's good stuff.

278
00:13:43,564 --> 00:13:47,173
Ernest, I've never felt
more independent and strong.

279
00:13:47,234 --> 00:13:48,692
Can I use your phone to call Mother?

280
00:13:48,885 --> 00:13:50,360
There she is.

281
00:13:50,512 --> 00:13:53,588
Just make sure no one's
using the upstairs extension.

282
00:13:53,607 --> 00:13:55,440
You're back in the office already?

283
00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:59,018
Principal Finch,
your gut biome is a wonder.

284
00:13:59,079 --> 00:14:02,188
So, how's Sad Sack Seymour and
the Cincinnati Snooze Cruise?

285
00:14:02,983 --> 00:14:04,766
Yeah, vintage Finch.

286
00:14:04,826 --> 00:14:07,193
But, uh, believe it or not,
Skinner has shown,

287
00:14:07,254 --> 00:14:09,195
uh, bursts of utility.

288
00:14:09,256 --> 00:14:10,772
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

289
00:14:10,791 --> 00:14:12,883
You better not be getting
cold feet, Gary.

290
00:14:13,076 --> 00:14:14,200
We made an agreement.

291
00:14:14,219 --> 00:14:15,944
Skinner gets canned,

292
00:14:15,962 --> 00:14:19,205
and I leave my tiny little
magnet school for the big time,

293
00:14:19,266 --> 00:14:22,117
Springfield Elementary.

294
00:14:22,135 --> 00:14:23,234
I'm pumped!

295
00:14:23,287 --> 00:14:24,619
Yes, I know, I know.

296
00:14:24,721 --> 00:14:27,122
The plan was to fire Skinner, and, uh...

297
00:14:28,591 --> 00:14:31,126
...I am a man of my word.

298
00:14:31,186 --> 00:14:33,052
Fire Skinner?

299
00:14:33,113 --> 00:14:34,905
Chalmers!

300
00:14:35,915 --> 00:14:36,939
Oh, dear.

301
00:14:44,824 --> 00:14:46,249
Fire me?!

302
00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:48,734
You bald-pated son of a bitch.

303
00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:51,070
Uh, i-if you two gentlemen
could please...

304
00:14:51,131 --> 00:14:53,090
Stay out of this, Trudy!

305
00:14:53,258 --> 00:14:56,075
For years, this man belittled me.

306
00:14:56,136 --> 00:14:58,595
Humiliated me.

307
00:14:58,746 --> 00:15:01,005
And in exchange for
my unwavering loyalty,

308
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,766
what was my reward?

309
00:15:02,917 --> 00:15:06,085
Whoa, to be pushed out by
some scheming magnet school...

310
00:15:06,146 --> 00:15:08,179
keister kisser!

311
00:15:09,525 --> 00:15:11,757
The brochures nobody takes!

312
00:15:11,819 --> 00:15:14,853
I'm the one who deserved this
trip to Cincinnati, not Finch.

313
00:15:15,005 --> 00:15:18,006
That's why I put black
mold in his poké.

314
00:15:19,159 --> 00:15:21,284
You did what?

315
00:15:21,477 --> 00:15:23,862
Ooh. The Rocking Chair Museum.

316
00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:25,029
I've heard good things.

317
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:28,016
Skinner...!

318
00:15:28,076 --> 00:15:30,018
You know why I was gonna fire you,
Seymour?

319
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,021
Because your neediness,
it sucks the life out of me!

320
00:15:33,081 --> 00:15:36,875
After all these years of
trying to spare your feelings,

321
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,301
I'm just gonna say it now:

322
00:15:38,494 --> 00:15:41,029
I... don't... like you!

323
00:15:41,089 --> 00:15:43,698
* And the man in the back said,
"Everyone attack" *

324
00:15:43,717 --> 00:15:45,791
* And it turned into
a ballroom blitz *

325
00:15:45,811 --> 00:15:48,052
* And the girl in the corner said,
"Boy, I wanna warn you " *

326
00:15:48,205 --> 00:15:49,629
* It'll turn into
a ballroom blitz" *

327
00:15:49,690 --> 00:15:51,982
* Ballroom blitz *

328
00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:54,467
* Ballroom blitz *

329
00:15:54,528 --> 00:15:56,987
* Ballroom blitz *

330
00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:58,213
* Ballroom blitz. *

331
00:15:58,273 --> 00:16:00,157
Ooh, Terry Bradshaw stayed here.

332
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:02,050
Not the one you're thinking of.

333
00:16:09,951 --> 00:16:12,002
You know, I'm not gonna give
you the pleasure of firing me,

334
00:16:12,195 --> 00:16:13,753
because I quit!

335
00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:17,323
Good riddance!

336
00:16:37,105 --> 00:16:38,312
-

337
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:44,459
Well, well, well.

338
00:16:44,486 --> 00:16:46,761
If it isn't the Cuticle Kid.

339
00:16:46,821 --> 00:16:49,431
You racing to give a mani-pedi?

340
00:16:50,026 --> 00:16:51,708
Just give me the ticket, Fennimore.

341
00:16:51,901 --> 00:16:55,194
License and my mother's registration.

342
00:16:56,908 --> 00:16:58,758
-

343
00:16:58,759 --> 00:17:00,592
Superintendent, you're on in five.

344
00:17:00,743 --> 00:17:03,386
Great, great.
I'll just ensure my notecards

345
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:05,037
are in the correct order.

346
00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:06,464
Uh, uh...

347
00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:09,300
"Road trip conversation starters"?

348
00:17:15,558 --> 00:17:17,049
We switched jackets.

349
00:17:17,110 --> 00:17:18,718
Seymour has my speech!

350
00:17:18,779 --> 00:17:20,403
It's often been said that one speech

351
00:17:20,596 --> 00:17:22,814
can make or break a man's career.

352
00:17:22,908 --> 00:17:26,134
Together, we now face such a moment.

353
00:17:26,194 --> 00:17:27,652
Our keynote speaker,

354
00:17:27,788 --> 00:17:31,748
Superintendent Garibaldi Chalmers.

355
00:17:36,204 --> 00:17:37,208
Um...

356
00:17:37,905 --> 00:17:39,572
Well, it's an honor, uh, to be here

357
00:17:39,633 --> 00:17:40,924
in, uh, uh, Cleveland.

358
00:17:41,117 --> 00:17:42,575
It's Cincinnati!

359
00:17:42,636 --> 00:17:44,652
Look at the skyline!

360
00:17:44,713 --> 00:17:47,489
You just...
You won't believe what's happened.

361
00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:49,491
I'm... Well, maybe you will!

362
00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:51,584
You've all got that one principal,

363
00:17:51,645 --> 00:17:55,346
that one that gets you into
such ridiculous situations,

364
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,424
uh, uh, maybe even on the way here.

365
00:17:58,443 --> 00:18:02,170
Mm. Yes. Quite.

366
00:18:03,346 --> 00:18:05,448
This guy, Skinner,
h-he screws everything up.

367
00:18:05,641 --> 00:18:08,100
He took my jacket and my speech!

368
00:18:08,161 --> 00:18:11,955
He left me with the useless
garbage in his pockets.

369
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:15,016
A mommy manicure kit.

370
00:18:15,035 --> 00:18:16,851
A-a VFW event calendar.

371
00:18:16,911 --> 00:18:18,686
A, uh, B&B rewards card.

372
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,005
Calico Level.

373
00:18:21,955 --> 00:18:24,283
And conversation starters like...

374
00:18:25,545 --> 00:18:27,862
"How can I make your job easier?"

375
00:18:27,881 --> 00:18:30,140
He sounds like a good guy,
you jackass!

376
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,883
Well, I...

377
00:18:32,019 --> 00:18:33,310
I suppose he is.

378
00:18:33,503 --> 00:18:36,146
He's loyal and resourceful and...

379
00:18:36,339 --> 00:18:37,889
Oh, God, help me.

380
00:18:38,025 --> 00:18:39,965
I respect Seymour Skinner.

381
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:41,801
In fact, I like him.

382
00:18:44,193 --> 00:18:45,488
Ditto, Gary.

383
00:18:49,444 --> 00:18:51,870
Aw, Skinner.

384
00:18:54,357 --> 00:18:57,667
I've got something that belongs to you.

385
00:18:57,860 --> 00:19:01,913
Now go give the greatest
keynote speech of your life.

386
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,399
Well, maybe I already have, huh?

387
00:19:04,417 --> 00:19:06,101
But if I must.

388
00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:09,087
Educational Infrastructure:

389
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:11,681
Ability Grouping versus
Blended Learning.

390
00:19:11,874 --> 00:19:14,834
Now, a survey of public administrators

391
00:19:14,895 --> 00:19:18,429
over a 15-trimester
period showed clearly,

392
00:19:18,523 --> 00:19:21,149
within the standard deviation,
of course...

393
00:19:22,085 --> 00:19:23,585
Well, you did it, dude.

394
00:19:23,686 --> 00:19:25,528
How does it feel to get
what you've always wanted?

395
00:19:25,721 --> 00:19:27,530
* Chalmers loves Skinner *

396
00:19:27,723 --> 00:19:29,366
* Bought him chili dinner *

397
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:32,518
* How many ways did Skinner try? *

398
00:19:32,537 --> 00:19:35,187
* One, two, three, four, five. *

399
00:19:35,290 --> 00:19:37,874
It feels just like this.

400
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:50,870
* Maybe you and me were
never meant to be *

401
00:19:50,931 --> 00:19:55,216
* Just maybe think of
me once in a while. *

402
00:20:03,852 --> 00:20:05,977
So, guys, what have you been up to?

403
00:20:06,129 --> 00:20:08,405
Oh, went on a field trip
to the fire station,

404
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,573
but nobody told the
firemen we were coming.

405
00:20:10,766 --> 00:20:13,317
Practiced my sax, went to school.

406
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,820
Oh, we learned about Peru.

407
00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:16,971
Oh.

408
00:20:17,031 --> 00:20:18,415
I went to work.

409
00:20:18,566 --> 00:20:20,308
Lenny had a cold, so he wasn't there.

410
00:20:20,326 --> 00:20:21,659
Carl was there though.

411
00:20:21,753 --> 00:20:24,587
Well, have I got a treat for you all.

412
00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:28,508
Tonight, we're going to see
Improv Shakespeare!

413
00:20:29,836 --> 00:20:31,076
Washing machine!

414
00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,654
Out, damned stain!

415
00:20:32,755 --> 00:20:36,324
For there is a Tide Pod
in the affairs of laundry.

416
00:20:36,384 --> 00:20:41,086
Can you imagine
Shakespeare using a Tide Pod?

417
00:20:41,148 --> 00:20:43,440
- No.
- Oy.

418
00:20:49,472 --> 00:20:50,613
* Mad tooth bar chin-up *

419
00:20:50,765 --> 00:20:53,616
* Boxing out of her hair now *

420
00:20:54,936 --> 00:20:59,205
* Still do the modern-day
whack-a-mole ditto-o-o *

421
00:21:00,742 --> 00:21:03,126
* What's that? Good bartender *

422
00:21:03,277 --> 00:21:05,536
* I had better head out *

423
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:11,217
* I said I wouldn't do it
if a poodle had a lid on *

424
00:21:16,032 --> 00:21:17,548
* Mad tooth bar chin-up *

425
00:21:17,642 --> 00:21:19,851
* Boxing out of her hair now *

426
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:26,232
* Still do the modern-day
whack-a-mole ditto-o-o *

427
00:21:27,652 --> 00:21:28,776
* What's that? *

428
00:21:34,365 --> 00:21:36,945
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com