1
00:00:04,969 --> 00:00:05,969
_

2
00:00:05,970 --> 00:00:06,803
_

3
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_

4
00:00:08,806 --> 00:00:10,807
_

5
00:00:13,611 --> 00:00:16,054
Okay, before she gets on,
what do we think about Annie

6
00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:17,628
moving back to Orlando
to live with her parents?

7
00:00:17,652 --> 00:00:19,484
I know. It's crazy, I don't like it.

8
00:00:19,509 --> 00:00:20,912
Superior orange juice.

9
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,489
Wait, Annie's moving back home?

10
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,336
Yeah, she told the
Gossip Girls last night.

11
00:00:24,361 --> 00:00:25,617
Honorary member.

12
00:00:25,641 --> 00:00:27,949
- Also founding member.
- And then Michelle told me

13
00:00:27,974 --> 00:00:29,958
right after Annie told you guys.

14
00:00:29,983 --> 00:00:32,969
- Couples confidentiality clause.
- Rufus, how'd you know?

15
00:00:32,993 --> 00:00:35,848
How did I know?
How d... how didn't I know.

16
00:00:36,963 --> 00:00:39,929
- Orlando? Like, Florida?
- No, Orlando like Bloom, Ben.

17
00:00:39,953 --> 00:00:41,940
Gosh, first the NBA, now Annie.

18
00:00:41,966 --> 00:00:43,688
Oh, my God. Do I want
to move to Florida?

19
00:00:43,713 --> 00:00:44,939
Why, so you can see

20
00:00:44,963 --> 00:00:46,740
your Clippers lose to the Lakers again?

21
00:00:46,765 --> 00:00:49,948
Dang, Garret, Kawhi
you gotta be so rude?

22
00:00:49,972 --> 00:00:51,697
They're just acclimating
to life in the bubble.

23
00:00:51,722 --> 00:00:53,820
They haven't seen their
families for months.

24
00:00:53,853 --> 00:00:55,073
Oh, can I be a basketball person?

25
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:56,121
But Annie can't go.

26
00:00:56,146 --> 00:00:57,977
I mean, she's our family.

27
00:00:58,002 --> 00:01:00,462
Well, technically,
she's her family's family.

28
00:01:00,487 --> 00:01:01,939
Maybe she misses them.

29
00:01:01,963 --> 00:01:03,280
She's just going stir crazy.

30
00:01:03,312 --> 00:01:06,297
What Annie needs is
some local, COVID-approved,

31
00:01:06,321 --> 00:01:07,794
quarantine bae

32
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:11,217
- for some quarantine "Hey."
- Ooh!

33
00:01:11,241 --> 00:01:13,562
You speak as if from experience.

34
00:01:13,761 --> 00:01:17,700
Well, I can neither confirm nor deny
that I may or may not

35
00:01:17,725 --> 00:01:20,217
be getting some regularly
scheduled maintenance.

36
00:01:20,241 --> 00:01:22,609
What? Good for you.

37
00:01:22,634 --> 00:01:24,691
Well, you know maybe Annie
is one of those people

38
00:01:24,716 --> 00:01:26,519
That has trouble
divorcing sex and feelings,

39
00:01:26,551 --> 00:01:27,637
Which I've heard is a thing.

40
00:01:27,995 --> 00:01:29,083
I'll tell you what Annie

41
00:01:29,114 --> 00:01:30,536
won't have trouble with...

42
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,353
Aah! All them gentlemen callers

43
00:01:33,378 --> 00:01:35,689
- in them central Florida suburbs.
- Mm-hmm,

44
00:01:35,713 --> 00:01:37,687
just fields of former high school flames

45
00:01:37,713 --> 00:01:39,588
Turned husband material

46
00:01:39,612 --> 00:01:41,496
with real estate licenses

47
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,577
just awaiting Miss Annie's return.

48
00:01:43,601 --> 00:01:45,247
You do know that Florida

49
00:01:45,263 --> 00:01:47,193
isn't the Deep South, right?

50
00:01:47,217 --> 00:01:49,273
Well, where is it then? The Lower East?

51
00:01:50,047 --> 00:01:51,863
Hey, y'all. Sorry I'm late.

52
00:01:51,888 --> 00:01:54,038
I was talking to this guy
who might sublet my apartment.

53
00:01:54,063 --> 00:01:56,040
- So this move is for real?
- Yeah.

54
00:01:56,065 --> 00:01:58,042
You think my downstairs
neighbors will mind

55
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,042
He's an online Muay Thai instructor?

56
00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:01,992
Why, because of the noise,

57
00:02:02,016 --> 00:02:03,961
or because of a potentially
asymptomatic virus carrier

58
00:02:03,985 --> 00:02:05,718
penetrating their bubble of safety?

59
00:02:05,743 --> 00:02:07,041
This whole thing is madness.

60
00:02:07,065 --> 00:02:08,528
No, you know what's madness?

61
00:02:08,553 --> 00:02:10,609
I haven't left my
apartment in five months.

62
00:02:11,038 --> 00:02:12,723
My parents' house has a pool,

63
00:02:12,748 --> 00:02:14,933
my mom makes the best ropa vieja,

64
00:02:14,966 --> 00:02:16,972
and the humidity sucks,
but it's great for my skin.

65
00:02:16,996 --> 00:02:19,973
Yeah, 'cause your
skin is hideous here.

66
00:02:20,005 --> 00:02:22,054
I'm paying a ton of money
in LA rent and for what?

67
00:02:22,078 --> 00:02:24,012
I can't see the city or my friends,

68
00:02:24,038 --> 00:02:26,062
And it's not like I have a boyfriend

69
00:02:26,086 --> 00:02:29,022
- to you know, you know...
- Have sex with?

70
00:02:29,046 --> 00:02:30,051
Use to drive in the HOV lane?

71
00:02:30,075 --> 00:02:31,208
Oh, tap dance with at

72
00:02:31,233 --> 00:02:32,708
the Griffith Park Observatory?

73
00:02:33,075 --> 00:02:34,552
We'll still be able to chat

74
00:02:34,576 --> 00:02:36,051
on video like we do now.

75
00:02:36,075 --> 00:02:37,487
Question: does your mom

76
00:02:37,511 --> 00:02:38,655
make the ropa vieja

77
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,857
- with her own sofrito?
- Absolutely.

78
00:02:40,882 --> 00:02:42,051
Follow-up question:

79
00:02:42,075 --> 00:02:43,599
can I move in with your parents too?

80
00:02:43,624 --> 00:02:45,428
No. No one is moving.

81
00:02:45,453 --> 00:02:48,063
Life, relationships,
friendships are tenuous.

82
00:02:48,089 --> 00:02:49,764
We must stay close. We must.

83
00:02:50,089 --> 00:02:52,984
- Was that a haiku?
- I think so. We'll be right back.

84
00:02:53,009 --> 00:02:57,762
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --

85
00:02:57,795 --> 00:02:59,071
Uh, where did everyone go?

86
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:00,982
This is my Scheme Team breakout room.

87
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:02,823
Ugh, no. No, Rufus, no more schemes.

88
00:03:02,848 --> 00:03:04,331
I almost lost a kidney last time.

89
00:03:04,356 --> 00:03:05,911
Every Thelma needs a Louise.

90
00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,930
Do you know how that movie ends? No.

91
00:03:08,109 --> 00:03:09,747
Why do you always pick
me for these things?

92
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:11,002
Because you're easily swayed,

93
00:03:11,026 --> 00:03:13,051
and this is a scheme to
keep Annie in Los Angeles.

94
00:03:13,738 --> 00:03:15,222
All right, I guess I'll hear you out.

95
00:03:15,247 --> 00:03:16,615
One person moves away,

96
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:18,616
and the entire friend
group chemistry is disrupted

97
00:03:18,641 --> 00:03:20,202
Like an atom losing an electron.

98
00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:23,164
Next thing you know,
it's just you, your tears,

99
00:03:23,189 --> 00:03:25,709
and the artisanal IPA
you brew in your bathtub.

100
00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:27,447
I didn't know we meant that much to you,

101
00:03:27,472 --> 00:03:29,603
Or that that was how you
were making that beer!

102
00:03:29,628 --> 00:03:31,706
When we were working retail together,

103
00:03:31,857 --> 00:03:34,002
and you, Annie, and Ellis
accidentally invited me

104
00:03:34,026 --> 00:03:35,687
to dinner at Michelle and Garret's,

105
00:03:35,712 --> 00:03:38,032
It gave me that warm,
fuzzy feeling you get

106
00:03:38,056 --> 00:03:39,962
when you see Colin Firth
in a romantic comedy.

107
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:42,033
I do not get the appeal of that dude.

108
00:03:42,058 --> 00:03:44,406
If Annie leaves,
I know where this goes:

109
00:03:44,621 --> 00:03:46,062
back to loneliness.

110
00:03:46,086 --> 00:03:48,613
Where I thrive, but still.

111
00:03:48,966 --> 00:03:50,008
All right.

112
00:03:50,032 --> 00:03:52,070
- What's the plan?
- Simple.

113
00:03:52,118 --> 00:03:54,032
We keep the electron from gravitating

114
00:03:54,056 --> 00:03:55,488
towards a higher affinity atom.

115
00:03:56,234 --> 00:03:58,002
We stop Annie from leaving,

116
00:03:58,026 --> 00:04:00,431
- starting with a little blackmail.
- Wait, we're blackmailing her?

117
00:04:00,456 --> 00:04:02,508
- I'll explain everything in the group.
- Why can't you tell me right here?

118
00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:04,387
Where did you guys go?

119
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:05,782
- Hand sanitizer.
- Uh, yeah...

120
00:04:05,807 --> 00:04:07,873
We're launching a
whole new product line.

121
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:08,951
Guys, it's August.

122
00:04:08,975 --> 00:04:11,022
No one cares about
hand sanitizer anymore.

123
00:04:11,056 --> 00:04:12,620
We've all just given up.

124
00:04:13,717 --> 00:04:15,032
Annie Diaz,

125
00:04:15,056 --> 00:04:16,529
would you describe your
relationship with your mother,

126
00:04:16,554 --> 00:04:18,082
Marta Alejandra Diaz,

127
00:04:18,106 --> 00:04:20,083
as being congruent,
politically speaking?

128
00:04:20,109 --> 00:04:23,306
- Why do you know my mom's full name?
- Great question.

129
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:25,072
May I present to you my deposition.

130
00:04:25,096 --> 00:04:27,013
Exhibit A: a post from Annie's

131
00:04:27,037 --> 00:04:28,535
social media reading,

132
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,123
"Defund the Police."

133
00:04:30,148 --> 00:04:32,050
Yeah, that's not how depositions work...

134
00:04:32,075 --> 00:04:34,573
Exactly. Exhibit B.

135
00:04:34,598 --> 00:04:36,082
An email from Marta

136
00:04:36,106 --> 00:04:38,409
reading, "Refund the Police."

137
00:04:38,433 --> 00:04:41,071
- _
- What? My mom said that?

138
00:04:41,096 --> 00:04:44,811
A house in suburban Florida divided.
The defense rests.

139
00:04:44,836 --> 00:04:46,712
That's still not a deposition, bro.

140
00:04:46,737 --> 00:04:49,073
You know, my dad sends
me daily email forwards

141
00:04:49,106 --> 00:04:50,583
About how Bill Gates is trying

142
00:04:50,607 --> 00:04:52,106
to kill us with a vaccine.

143
00:04:52,131 --> 00:04:53,761
What Bill Gates ever do to anyone?

144
00:04:53,786 --> 00:04:55,512
Windows 95, Clippy,

145
00:04:55,537 --> 00:04:56,972
Minesweeper...

146
00:04:56,996 --> 00:04:59,011
Wait, why is my mom
sending you emails?

147
00:04:59,035 --> 00:05:00,041
Parents love me.

148
00:05:00,065 --> 00:05:03,012
I've been told it's
my childlike sense of wonder.

149
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,061
Annie, if you're gonna have
drama with your parents,

150
00:05:05,085 --> 00:05:07,537
You know, I mean, maybe
you shouldn't move back home.

151
00:05:07,562 --> 00:05:10,508
Oh, it's fine. I just need to school
my mom on the state of our country.

152
00:05:10,549 --> 00:05:12,045
Thankfully, I do my homework.

153
00:05:12,085 --> 00:05:14,852
Your social media
activism has been on point.

154
00:05:14,877 --> 00:05:17,477
You didn't even fall
for the black square.

155
00:05:17,853 --> 00:05:18,945
I don't know, Annie.

156
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:21,020
The brain loses elasticity as we age

157
00:05:21,045 --> 00:05:22,378
Making it very hard to change.

158
00:05:22,403 --> 00:05:23,875
Our parents minds

159
00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:25,370
are like a pair of suede pants.

160
00:05:25,395 --> 00:05:27,332
Hey, that's not always true.

161
00:05:27,472 --> 00:05:29,309
My mom and I had a huge falling out

162
00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:31,688
when I decided to have my
gender confirmation surgery,

163
00:05:31,713 --> 00:05:33,706
and it took a lot of time,

164
00:05:34,056 --> 00:05:35,528
and energy, but now Janice

165
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:37,032
and I are stronger than ever.

166
00:05:37,056 --> 00:05:39,639
We owe it to our parents
to give them the chance

167
00:05:39,664 --> 00:05:41,041
- to grow as people.
- Exactly.

168
00:05:41,224 --> 00:05:42,678
My mom's a good person.

169
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:45,051
She just doesn't have
all the right info.

170
00:05:45,075 --> 00:05:47,945
Luckily, I've got killer
rhetoric-al skills.

171
00:05:49,006 --> 00:05:51,939
- You mean "rhetorical"?
- No, not like a rhetorical question.

172
00:05:51,964 --> 00:05:53,886
Rhetoric-al, as in rhetoric

173
00:05:53,911 --> 00:05:55,854
but the adjective of it.

174
00:05:57,257 --> 00:06:00,277
Yeah, this is maybe not gonna
go as smooth as you think.

175
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:09,585
- Annie.
- Annabelle!

176
00:06:09,822 --> 00:06:12,521
- Dimelo.
- Why are you in different rooms?

177
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:15,463
Because your mom doesn't understand
the perfect AC temperature

178
00:06:15,487 --> 00:06:16,752
is 67 degrees.

179
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:19,349
For the walk-in refrigerator at Costco.

180
00:06:19,374 --> 00:06:21,382
- Okay, Mo...
- Oh, and speaking of Costco...

181
00:06:21,407 --> 00:06:23,051
She emptied out the store for you.

182
00:06:23,076 --> 00:06:24,914
What about you, Señor Samples?

183
00:06:24,939 --> 00:06:27,478
- They're free.
- Ay, Annie, I got you

184
00:06:27,502 --> 00:06:30,333
those carbonated waters
that you like that smell like ChapStick.

185
00:06:30,358 --> 00:06:32,415
Also this hair towel

186
00:06:32,711 --> 00:06:35,071
because you never dry
your hair after the shower,

187
00:06:35,096 --> 00:06:36,553
and it's bad for your sinuses.

188
00:06:36,577 --> 00:06:39,773
- Mom, I'm not a kid anymore!
- You are my youngest.

189
00:06:39,798 --> 00:06:41,651
You will always be my baby.

190
00:06:41,676 --> 00:06:43,632
Actually, I wanted to
talk to you about...

191
00:06:43,657 --> 00:06:46,034
Ooh, I almost forgot the travel suit!

192
00:06:46,059 --> 00:06:47,072
I saw it on QVC.

193
00:06:47,096 --> 00:06:48,966
Let me send it to you.

194
00:06:49,927 --> 00:06:51,562
Mom, that looks insane.

195
00:06:51,587 --> 00:06:52,582
It's already on the way.

196
00:06:52,607 --> 00:06:54,359
No, you have to talk to
me about these things!

197
00:06:54,384 --> 00:06:55,526
You can't just assume that I'm gonna...

198
00:06:55,551 --> 00:06:57,094
Ooh, you're gonna be here in time

199
00:06:57,119 --> 00:06:58,911
For Mileidys's baby shower! Oy.

200
00:06:58,936 --> 00:07:00,450
You know, she had a very hard time

201
00:07:00,475 --> 00:07:01,968
Getting pregnant, pobresita.

202
00:07:01,993 --> 00:07:03,493
She tried everything.

203
00:07:03,518 --> 00:07:04,872
She even wore the evil eye

204
00:07:04,897 --> 00:07:06,776
on her wrists and her ankles.

205
00:07:07,065 --> 00:07:08,898
Nothing. They had to mortgage the house

206
00:07:08,923 --> 00:07:10,990
In order to pay for
the fertility treatment.

207
00:07:11,015 --> 00:07:13,470
Dios mío, qué cosa!

208
00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:15,967
That "Refund the Police"

209
00:07:15,992 --> 00:07:17,407
email was clutch!

210
00:07:17,875 --> 00:07:19,153
Both: Scheme Team!

211
00:07:19,263 --> 00:07:21,044
All right, now for phase two.

212
00:07:21,068 --> 00:07:23,083
I'm hacking into Annie's newsfeeds

213
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,521
and flooding them with targeted ads

214
00:07:24,546 --> 00:07:26,521
To remind her of how much Florida sucks.

215
00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:27,551
Check it out.

216
00:07:27,576 --> 00:07:29,284
- _
- Alligator insurance,

217
00:07:29,309 --> 00:07:30,935
- _
- local congressmen,

218
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,102
- and this gross dating website I found.
- Wow. - _

219
00:07:35,482 --> 00:07:37,377
Hey, are we doing the right thing?

220
00:07:37,402 --> 00:07:39,022
Last thing I wanna do is hurt Annie.

221
00:07:39,609 --> 00:07:42,476
Ben, a Scheme Team
requires full transparency.

222
00:07:42,501 --> 00:07:44,588
Is there something else
going on between you two?

223
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:46,687
With me and Annie? No,
no, we're just friends.

224
00:07:46,965 --> 00:07:49,822
I mean, there was this one
intense moment in Chicago

225
00:07:49,847 --> 00:07:51,551
where I thought there
may have been a vibe,

226
00:07:51,576 --> 00:07:53,332
But... she told me a story

227
00:07:53,357 --> 00:07:54,710
about how she could never date a friend,

228
00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:56,932
which definitely killed the vibe.

229
00:07:56,966 --> 00:07:58,972
Mmm, vibes are a fragile wavelength.

230
00:07:58,996 --> 00:08:01,853
Like friend groups,
they need to be lovingly maintained.

231
00:08:01,885 --> 00:08:03,735
Now, can we please
manipulate our good pal

232
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,377
- into staying in LA with us?
- Let's do it.

233
00:08:08,996 --> 00:08:11,741
Pero how do you know the
police have too much money?

234
00:08:11,766 --> 00:08:13,740
I think the police
don't have enough money.

235
00:08:13,814 --> 00:08:16,286
Mom, they're like
the Kardashian-Jenners.

236
00:08:16,311 --> 00:08:18,752
They have so much they're
being irresponsible with it.

237
00:08:18,777 --> 00:08:20,226
Stormi did not need her own

238
00:08:20,251 --> 00:08:21,710
theme park for her birthday.

239
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,721
- That was too much for Stormi.
- No. That is true.

240
00:08:23,746 --> 00:08:26,505
50% of most city
budgets go to the police.

241
00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:27,715
That's way too much.

242
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:29,716
How do you know it's too much?

243
00:08:29,741 --> 00:08:31,688
Are you city planner, hmm?

244
00:08:31,713 --> 00:08:32,852
You could've been a city planner.

245
00:08:32,877 --> 00:08:34,731
You used to do that afterschool program.

246
00:08:34,756 --> 00:08:35,759
What was it called?

247
00:08:35,784 --> 00:08:37,731
- Youth in Congress.
- Yes.

248
00:08:37,756 --> 00:08:40,393
You learned so much from that.

249
00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:43,093
Too bad you ruined your
life by becoming a writer.

250
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,871
Mom, it's okay for
people in my generation

251
00:08:45,896 --> 00:08:47,869
to pursue their passions.

252
00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:50,385
Passions do not pay the bills, mija.

253
00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:52,685
I'm in construction, and
I have a passion for it.

254
00:08:52,710 --> 00:08:55,606
- Ramón, please!
- Agh.

255
00:08:55,631 --> 00:08:58,053
Look, this issue is
bigger than police funding.

256
00:08:58,086 --> 00:08:59,733
It's a systemic racial issue.

257
00:08:59,758 --> 00:09:02,184
Did you know 35% of African American men

258
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:05,129
are incarcerated while only 50% aren't?

259
00:09:05,341 --> 00:09:06,835
What about the other 15%?

260
00:09:07,986 --> 00:09:10,401
- What?
- 35 plus 50 is 85.

261
00:09:10,426 --> 00:09:11,906
No, Ramón?

262
00:09:11,938 --> 00:09:14,638
Oh, I can talk now?

263
00:09:14,832 --> 00:09:17,223
Entonces? Where's the other 15%?

264
00:09:17,303 --> 00:09:18,670
Um...

265
00:09:19,985 --> 00:09:22,000
Well, I know it's a real thing.

266
00:09:22,025 --> 00:09:24,735
I shared an article on, um...

267
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,845
Hold on, let me just... Mmm...

268
00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:29,617
Maybe they didn't fill out the survey

269
00:09:29,642 --> 00:09:33,072
About... if they were
incarcerated maybe?

270
00:09:33,096 --> 00:09:35,859
That's the thing about surveys.
Not everyone fills them out

271
00:09:35,884 --> 00:09:37,328
sometimes, so...

272
00:09:37,353 --> 00:09:38,825
Mija, you can't trust

273
00:09:38,850 --> 00:09:40,330
everything you read

274
00:09:40,355 --> 00:09:42,140
on the internet.

275
00:09:42,251 --> 00:09:43,925
Do you get Fox News in LA?

276
00:09:51,521 --> 00:09:53,082
It was so embarrassing!

277
00:09:53,106 --> 00:09:57,052
My mom ran circles around me
in a political argument! My mom.

278
00:09:57,076 --> 00:10:00,073
Up until about a month ago,
she though RBG was a clothing designer.

279
00:10:00,290 --> 00:10:02,361
So does this mean
you're not moving home?

280
00:10:02,386 --> 00:10:04,072
Well, I wasn't going to,

281
00:10:04,096 --> 00:10:06,881
but then I started seeing
all these ads for Florida,

282
00:10:06,905 --> 00:10:08,769
- and it made me nostalgic.
- Both: Nostalgic?

283
00:10:08,794 --> 00:10:11,063
Yeah, I forgot how cute alligators are.

284
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:13,557
You hear that, Rufus?
She's feeling nostalgic!

285
00:10:13,582 --> 00:10:16,255
Also my ex-boyfriend from high school
who used to be in a one-man

286
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:17,596
Kid Rock cover band...

287
00:10:17,621 --> 00:10:20,085
So a Kid Rock impersonator,
because that's what that is.

288
00:10:20,110 --> 00:10:23,597
He got his real estate license,
and he's super rich now.

289
00:10:23,622 --> 00:10:25,464
He has the huge house
next to Joey Fatone.

290
00:10:25,489 --> 00:10:28,326
We're just friends, but he said if
things with my parents get weird,

291
00:10:28,351 --> 00:10:30,726
I can stay with him.
Although I prefer not to

292
00:10:30,751 --> 00:10:32,914
because he's always tries to
make me sing the Sheryl Crow part

293
00:10:32,938 --> 00:10:34,153
of the song "Picture."

294
00:10:34,178 --> 00:10:36,890
Well, if it isn't Mr. Husband Material

295
00:10:36,915 --> 00:10:38,838
Here to sweep you away
to his most certainly

296
00:10:38,862 --> 00:10:40,207
tacky McMansion.

297
00:10:40,232 --> 00:10:42,350
Oh, Mr. Former Kid Rock,

298
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:45,711
- I do accept this rock on my finger.
- Okay, guys.

299
00:10:45,736 --> 00:10:48,246
Florida is not the South.

300
00:10:48,278 --> 00:10:50,483
Oh, well, look at its location on a map.

301
00:10:50,508 --> 00:10:52,817
Ben, Rufus, what's
with the phone pinging?

302
00:10:52,929 --> 00:10:54,947
You guys still talking
about hand sanitizer?

303
00:10:54,972 --> 00:10:56,898
- 100%, yes.
- 100%, big time, big time.

304
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:57,930
Yeah, what is going on with you two?

305
00:10:57,955 --> 00:10:59,891
Yeah, I know Ben is easily swayed,

306
00:10:59,916 --> 00:11:02,428
but this level of interest
in a Rufus-driven business

307
00:11:02,452 --> 00:11:03,861
is entirely suspect.

308
00:11:03,885 --> 00:11:05,244
I am not easily swayed!

309
00:11:05,269 --> 00:11:07,455
- Oh, come on.
- Oh, you totally are.

310
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:10,030
- Okay, fine.
- Guys, can we focus?

311
00:11:10,055 --> 00:11:12,295
I know defunding the police
is the right thing to do,

312
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,388
I just don't know how to get
my parents to know that.

313
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:17,794
They do not play fair.
They use Jedi mind tricks.

314
00:11:17,819 --> 00:11:19,686
My mom won an argument with me once

315
00:11:19,711 --> 00:11:21,669
by staring at me without blinking.

316
00:11:21,694 --> 00:11:23,349
I'm still working on a rebuttal.

317
00:11:23,374 --> 00:11:26,381
Well, take it from a three-time
Mountain State regional debate champ,

318
00:11:26,541 --> 00:11:29,250
You gotta get inside
the competition's head.

319
00:11:29,417 --> 00:11:31,051
And what's inside your mom's head

320
00:11:31,076 --> 00:11:34,630
is a deep and unquestioning
love of the cops

321
00:11:34,655 --> 00:11:36,062
because that's exactly what

322
00:11:36,086 --> 00:11:37,876
American TV and film has put there.

323
00:11:37,901 --> 00:11:40,982
I guess if people haven't had
a negative experience personally,

324
00:11:41,008 --> 00:11:43,208
like, say, every black
person in America,

325
00:11:43,233 --> 00:11:44,902
It's hard for them to see the cops

326
00:11:44,926 --> 00:11:47,203
- as anything but the good guys.
- Yeah, meanwhile,

327
00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:50,261
I was in my twenties when
I realized that the "bad boys"

328
00:11:50,286 --> 00:11:53,477
in the theme song from "Cops"
weren't the cops.

329
00:11:53,502 --> 00:11:55,358
They have too much money.

330
00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:58,333
In LA we give them $2 billion a year.

331
00:11:58,358 --> 00:12:00,861
If only we could spend a little
bit of that on public education,

332
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,914
then Richie and I wouldn't
have to take out a loan

333
00:12:02,939 --> 00:12:04,496
to pay 28 grand to pay

334
00:12:04,521 --> 00:12:06,493
for virtual private school,

335
00:12:07,055 --> 00:12:09,436
which is just Big Bird on an iPad!

336
00:12:09,461 --> 00:12:10,911
Wait, 28...

337
00:12:10,935 --> 00:12:12,493
You are sending me the 20 bucks

338
00:12:12,517 --> 00:12:14,082
you owe me from poker now.

339
00:12:14,106 --> 00:12:15,740
I said we needed a loan!

340
00:12:15,765 --> 00:12:17,912
Yeah, people don't realize
that "defund the police"

341
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:21,797
- just means fund other departments.
- Like social workers, you know,

342
00:12:21,822 --> 00:12:23,830
so a man with a gun
and 16 weeks of training

343
00:12:23,862 --> 00:12:26,280
- doesn't answer mental health calls.
- I wish I could just

344
00:12:26,305 --> 00:12:27,749
bring you guys with me

345
00:12:27,774 --> 00:12:29,454
to talk to my parents.

346
00:12:29,479 --> 00:12:30,931
You can't bring us,

347
00:12:30,956 --> 00:12:32,899
but we can help you prepare.

348
00:12:32,924 --> 00:12:33,626
Ooh.

349
00:12:33,651 --> 00:12:35,460
- Ooh, a project, a project!
- Debate team!

350
00:12:35,485 --> 00:12:37,135
I love a good mise-en-place!

351
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,096
Also you can bring Ben.

352
00:12:39,121 --> 00:12:41,358
- You can?
- Oh, okay.

353
00:12:41,383 --> 00:12:42,858
Thanks, Ben.

354
00:12:43,468 --> 00:12:45,847
Rufus, these schemes
aren't working, bruh.

355
00:12:45,872 --> 00:12:47,352
Look, if Annie wants to move home,

356
00:12:47,377 --> 00:12:50,282
- I think we just gotta let her go.
- You can't! She likes you.

357
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:52,709
What?

358
00:12:53,550 --> 00:12:55,859
Annie likes you, and I
think you like her too.

359
00:12:55,884 --> 00:12:57,865
I think that's why you agreed
to this scheme In the first place.

360
00:12:57,890 --> 00:13:00,051
You've been Colin Firth the whole time.

361
00:13:00,442 --> 00:13:03,352
No, no, no, she told me in Chicago
she could never date a friend.

362
00:13:03,377 --> 00:13:05,293
You know what's great
about this country?

363
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,295
People are allowed
to change their minds.

364
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,299
They're even allowed to
admit that they were wrong.

365
00:13:09,447 --> 00:13:10,570
Wait...

366
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,879
Is that why you wanted
me on your Scheme Team?

367
00:13:13,038 --> 00:13:15,052
Am I your emergency backup plan?

368
00:13:15,076 --> 00:13:16,476
- How do you mean?
- How do I know you're not

369
00:13:16,501 --> 00:13:19,052
lying to get me to help you
save your friend group molecule.

370
00:13:19,077 --> 00:13:21,061
What? I never lie!

371
00:13:21,086 --> 00:13:23,012
You're lying to Annie right now!

372
00:13:23,038 --> 00:13:25,932
Okay, Annie I am lying to.

373
00:13:25,956 --> 00:13:28,228
Yes, but do you really wanna

374
00:13:28,253 --> 00:13:29,429
lose her to a fake Kid Rock

375
00:13:29,454 --> 00:13:31,531
that lives next door
to a real Joey Fatone!?

376
00:13:33,956 --> 00:13:36,829
Okay, what? Now I gotta help
her get along with her parents?

377
00:13:36,854 --> 00:13:38,369
That's what she'll think,

378
00:13:38,394 --> 00:13:40,081
but actually you'll be feeding her

379
00:13:40,106 --> 00:13:42,461
the exact wrong things to say.

380
00:13:42,486 --> 00:13:44,412
It's Scheme Team phase three,

381
00:13:44,437 --> 00:13:46,993
- a Reverse-Cyrano.
- A reverse-what?

382
00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:48,052
Scheme Team!

383
00:13:48,329 --> 00:13:51,084
_

384
00:13:51,184 --> 00:13:52,503
_

385
00:13:54,922 --> 00:13:56,549
_

386
00:13:57,926 --> 00:13:59,677
_

387
00:14:01,890 --> 00:14:03,990
_

388
00:14:11,021 --> 00:14:12,313
_

389
00:14:13,692 --> 00:14:15,024
_

390
00:14:16,235 --> 00:14:18,486
_

391
00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:21,031
_

392
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,492
_

393
00:14:39,595 --> 00:14:41,042
Hey, you ready?

394
00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:44,618
Yeah, I think so. I got my talking
points, my non-talking points,

395
00:14:44,643 --> 00:14:47,052
- My turtle neck, my cotton balls.
- You got this.

396
00:14:47,076 --> 00:14:50,427
"You're gonna eat lightning
and crap thunder."

397
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:52,705
It's from "Rocky."

398
00:14:53,015 --> 00:14:55,952
Just remember, I'll be hiding
as a non-video participant.

399
00:14:55,976 --> 00:14:58,865
Your parents will not notice that,
but I'll be with you the whole time.

400
00:14:59,193 --> 00:15:00,896
Why are you so great?

401
00:15:02,721 --> 00:15:04,608
That's what friends are for.

402
00:15:04,966 --> 00:15:08,032
Thanks, Ben. It means a lot
having you in my corner.

403
00:15:10,055 --> 00:15:11,486
Okay.

404
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:12,851
Here goes nothing.

405
00:15:22,644 --> 00:15:24,324
- Hey.
- Hi, mija.

406
00:15:24,349 --> 00:15:26,627
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. Gimme one second.

407
00:15:27,765 --> 00:15:30,434
_

408
00:15:30,986 --> 00:15:34,082
Okay, I understand
political conversations

409
00:15:34,106 --> 00:15:37,612
can be tricky, so I wanted
to ease into it

410
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,662
and talk about...

411
00:15:40,025 --> 00:15:41,619
"Personal finances"?

412
00:15:41,644 --> 00:15:42,965
Ay, now she's finally
ready to hear my YouTube

413
00:15:42,989 --> 00:15:44,613
- on how to balance a checkbook?
- You need some money, mija?

414
00:15:44,638 --> 00:15:46,216
Sorry, actually

415
00:15:46,241 --> 00:15:48,081
let's discuss...

416
00:15:49,986 --> 00:15:51,923
All the TV remotes?

417
00:15:51,949 --> 00:15:53,650
- We have asked your brother
- There's a remote for the TV,

418
00:15:53,675 --> 00:15:55,872
- so many times for this one thing.
- a remote for the speakers,

419
00:15:55,897 --> 00:15:56,982
A remote for the cable box,

420
00:15:57,007 --> 00:15:58,433
a remote for the streaming box...

421
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,234
- It doesn't make sense!
- And he refuses! - _

422
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:01,806
After everything I did.

423
00:16:01,831 --> 00:16:03,858
Marta, relax.

424
00:16:03,883 --> 00:16:05,918
Te va a dar algo!

425
00:16:06,106 --> 00:16:08,574
You know what?
Let's forget the icebreakers.

426
00:16:09,005 --> 00:16:10,918
Mom, I wanted to talk about

427
00:16:10,942 --> 00:16:12,852
your refund the police email.

428
00:16:12,876 --> 00:16:14,975
Annabelle, please, you wanna
give your mom a heart attack?

429
00:16:14,999 --> 00:16:16,766
We already know she's gonna
be talking about those remotes

430
00:16:16,791 --> 00:16:19,353
- until next week!
- Just hear me out.

431
00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:22,013
I realize I feel passionately
about a lot of issues,

432
00:16:22,038 --> 00:16:23,495
But I also recognize

433
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,426
I take in a lot of my news from TikTok.

434
00:16:26,451 --> 00:16:30,062
All I know is, it seems as if
the system is broken.

435
00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:33,011
Maybe if we had better healthcare,

436
00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:35,579
Mileidys wouldn't have
to mortgage her house

437
00:16:35,604 --> 00:16:37,453
to pay for fertility treatments.

438
00:16:37,478 --> 00:16:39,614
I mean, what if I have fertility issues?

439
00:16:39,639 --> 00:16:41,991
Por Dios, no! My grandkids, no!

440
00:16:42,015 --> 00:16:44,883
Not that I'm planning
to have kids anytime soon,

441
00:16:45,525 --> 00:16:48,981
but, my friend Pradeep
is about to pay $28,000

442
00:16:49,005 --> 00:16:51,862
in private school because
public schools are inadequate.

443
00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:53,823
Remember Youth in Congress,

444
00:16:53,848 --> 00:16:55,827
the program in high school you
thought could change my life?

445
00:16:56,008 --> 00:16:57,583
It's lost its funding.

446
00:16:57,608 --> 00:16:58,656
- Oh, qué lástima.
- No.

447
00:16:58,681 --> 00:17:00,334
The funding for so many things

448
00:17:00,359 --> 00:17:01,951
that could change people's lives

449
00:17:01,976 --> 00:17:03,908
is just disappearing or never

450
00:17:03,932 --> 00:17:05,453
been there in the first place.

451
00:17:05,478 --> 00:17:08,300
It just feels as if we're spending
the wealth of this country

452
00:17:08,325 --> 00:17:11,626
in ways that don't benefit
the people that live in it.

453
00:17:11,651 --> 00:17:13,031
Defunding the police is not

454
00:17:13,056 --> 00:17:14,941
about removing the police,

455
00:17:14,965 --> 00:17:16,637
the police will still be here.

456
00:17:16,662 --> 00:17:18,890
It won't make us any less safe.

457
00:17:18,915 --> 00:17:20,955
It'll just make us more whole.

458
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:23,772
Mom?

459
00:17:24,569 --> 00:17:27,753
- You're frozen.
- No, I'm thinking.

460
00:17:28,667 --> 00:17:31,513
- We get to keep the police?
- Yes, we just take

461
00:17:31,537 --> 00:17:34,148
some of their money
and spend it in better ways.

462
00:17:34,173 --> 00:17:37,834
All this defund talk is scary
with all these protests.

463
00:17:38,108 --> 00:17:40,352
But maybe

464
00:17:40,849 --> 00:17:42,351
you're right...

465
00:17:42,635 --> 00:17:45,592
It does feel like things need to change.

466
00:17:46,048 --> 00:17:48,825
America is always trying
to make itself better.

467
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,998
That's why we came here,

468
00:17:51,434 --> 00:17:52,991
but it takes work.

469
00:17:53,016 --> 00:17:56,465
Annie, I'm proud
you're out there trying.

470
00:17:56,490 --> 00:17:58,456
The younger generation,

471
00:17:58,481 --> 00:18:00,992
we make fun of you and your TikyTok,

472
00:18:01,016 --> 00:18:02,867
but we are inspired by you.

473
00:18:03,380 --> 00:18:05,166
You give us hope.

474
00:18:06,026 --> 00:18:07,629
Thanks, Dad.

475
00:18:08,317 --> 00:18:10,181
I can't wait for you to come home.

476
00:18:10,206 --> 00:18:12,133
Me too. I love you guys.

477
00:18:12,407 --> 00:18:13,972
We love you, baby.

478
00:18:13,997 --> 00:18:16,117
Send me a picture when
you try on the hazmat suit.

479
00:18:16,142 --> 00:18:17,177
Hmm?

480
00:18:25,079 --> 00:18:26,055
Where'd you go?

481
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,004
I thought you were gonna
help me pee lightning

482
00:18:28,029 --> 00:18:29,763
And pass hail stones or whatever.

483
00:18:29,788 --> 00:18:34,078
I know. I just felt like
you didn't need me.

484
00:18:34,261 --> 00:18:35,844
You know, maybe you
do better on your own.

485
00:18:35,869 --> 00:18:38,370
Ben, I'm always gonna need you.

486
00:18:38,395 --> 00:18:40,301
Who's gonna make fun of
my horrible impressions?

487
00:18:40,326 --> 00:18:42,403
I mean, they are horrible.

488
00:18:42,499 --> 00:18:44,365
Impressions aren't
even cool to begin with,

489
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:47,065
So when you do them badly,
it's just very confusing.

490
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,362
Why are you smiling?

491
00:18:52,039 --> 00:18:56,022
I don't know. I... watching you
with your parents, it was just...

492
00:18:56,046 --> 00:18:58,369
It's like seeing you
on a whole other level.

493
00:18:58,726 --> 00:19:01,639
Yeah, I have no memory of what I said.

494
00:19:01,998 --> 00:19:03,855
Well, it was pretty amazing.

495
00:19:05,026 --> 00:19:06,732
You really moving back home?

496
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:08,759
I don't know.

497
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,558
You think I should?

498
00:19:11,887 --> 00:19:14,894
- No.
- No?

499
00:19:14,919 --> 00:19:17,896
No. I'd miss you.

500
00:19:17,921 --> 00:19:21,262
- You would?
- Yes. I would.

501
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:23,665
Look, you gotta make
your own decision,

502
00:19:24,036 --> 00:19:26,236
and I know we're just talking
through screens right now,

503
00:19:26,261 --> 00:19:28,567
but, the thought of you
moving to another screen

504
00:19:28,592 --> 00:19:31,670
in a different time zone,
2,500 miles away,

505
00:19:31,890 --> 00:19:34,901
yeah, you can put me down
for a no on that one.

506
00:19:35,965 --> 00:19:37,247
Okay.

507
00:19:37,632 --> 00:19:39,993
I'll take it under advisement.

508
00:19:40,369 --> 00:19:41,890
Hey, how did you know?

509
00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:44,252
Know... I don't know. Know what?

510
00:19:44,277 --> 00:19:46,415
That Orlando was 2,500 miles away?

511
00:19:47,179 --> 00:19:49,373
Aw, yeah, I just... I just guessed.

512
00:19:49,398 --> 00:19:53,266
- Why? Is it?
- Yeah, 2,500 miles.

513
00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:55,076
I looked it up.

514
00:19:55,730 --> 00:19:59,022
- Good night, Ben.
- Good night, Annie.

515
00:20:05,892 --> 00:20:08,492
_

516
00:20:08,516 --> 00:20:11,116
_

517
00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:13,740
_

518
00:20:13,892 --> 00:20:18,892
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
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