I slept with Simon.
When the baby is born, I want a paternity test.
This is Jack's baby.
Oh, come on, Meg.
We both know the dates add up.
No.
Dear Jack, I know you're having an affair.
I also know your wife is pregnant.
End the affair now or I'll tell Meghan.
I accept I'm probably the father.
You are.
They're letting him come home.
Isn't it great?
Hayden is going to be with you at the birth.
Hello, everyone.
This is Rory.
He's sleepy right now, but I'll send pics soon.
I'm exhausted, but so, so happy.
_
To my little boy.
You are due tomorrow.
I have worried constantly about you,
but all the scans say that you are healthy and strong.
I know most mothers like to write lists
about things they want for their kids,
but I'm not really one for lists.
I rely a lot on guesswork,
and thankfully, most of the time,
it seems to work out.
But I do promise you these things.
I'm going to say some things that I don't mean.
I will say no
when I probably should say yes.
But I vow, when I make a mistake,
I will apologise.
Most importantly,
I will love you unconditionally.
Even if you vote conservative,
or barrack for Collingwood,
or forget to call me on my birthday.
I can't wait to meet you...
...my little boy.
I'll see you very soon.
Love, Mum.
PS, if you scoot over just a little bit
and stop kicking my kidneys,
I will buy you a puppy.
Hello, everyone.
This is Rory.
He's sleepy right now, but I'll send pics soon.
I'm exhausted, but so, so happy.
"Congratulations. He is beautiful!
"I want all of the details. How was the labour?
"Call me when you get a chance.
"Best wishes, Meghan."
*CREDITS*
- You know that guy? - Yeah?
- And he drew the picture? - Yeah?
This is what people do when they love each other!
This train is an express service only.
- Please change at Redfern for other lines. - _
Next stop, Redfern.
_
Hi. This is Agatha.
I'm not available right now.
Leave me a message.
Aggie, I don't know what to do.
Mum's beside herself. She wants to call the police.
It's her.
She's had the baby.
A little boy named Rory.
Rory!
Rory, Mum.
Is... Is that a coincidence,
or did you tell her about Grandad?
Well, I told her.
What else does she say?
"I'll explain everything when I see you.
"Right now I need to rest.
"I'm coming home soon. Please let me sleep."
Aww.
She knew you were coming home.
Why didn't she just give you an address?
Rory, Mum!
- Rory! - Oh, darling.
I've got cash.
Room 12. Out the back.
That was delicious.
Mmm, I'm glad you liked it.
I have stocked six containers in the freezer
for when I'm in hospital.
Oh, you didn't have to do that.
You know I can cook takeaway any time.
Oh, yes.
Do you wish I wasn't having a cesar?
No. I'd rather you were safe.
It won't be the same, though. Be all clinical.
Ahh, it is what it is.
Stop worrying.
Who's that?
I told you about her.
- Mmm? - She's English.
She works at the supermarket.
So, are we gonna let all your fans and followers
- call you from now on? - Shut up, shut up.
- She's my friend. - Uh-huh.
It's Meghan. Leave me a message.
Hey, Meghan. It's Agatha.
I know you're due at the hospital tomorrow,
but maybe you've gone into labour early.
Hope you're OK.
Hey, dude.
I know you can hear me in there.
I want you to know it's gonna be weird when you come out.
There's gonna be people, lights.
Air.
But it's all going to be cool.
I'll be there to catch you.
You mind if I jump in the shower?
No. Go.
Zorro! Quit barking!
Shit!
Zorro?
Would you just... Just sit?
What was it, Bryan?
No idea!
Zorro!
Oh, I see what's happened. The bird bath fell over.
Probably a possum. You want me to have a quick look around?
No, it's fine. Jack's home.
All right. Night!
Night!
Were you talking to someone?
- Yeah, Bryan. - Ahh.
I hate to tell you this, babe,
but your bird bath self-destructed.
- How? - Possum, I think.
Must have been a big possum.
Yeah. Well, we'll get a new one.
I can't sleep yet, so I'm gonna go downstairs.
I'll... I'll stay up with you.
No, no, it's fine.
Gonna make the most of this last quiet night
before he comes.
Aggie!
You sound puffed. I hope you didn't run.
Oh, no, I was just upstairs,
but I'm breathless all the time now.
Where are you? Why are you whispering?
Er, the baby's asleep.
Oh, congratulations.
Thank you.
You said to call.
I hope you weren't just being polite.
No, of course not.
We're on the same ride at the same time.
We're bonded for life.
How is the new arrival?
- Beautiful. - Aww! He arrived early.
Well, I wanted to beat you to it.
I want all the gory details.
Are you sure about that?
Uh-huh.
Well, it only took six hours,
which isn't that long, I guess.
Oh, my God! Now you're just showing off.
And when the baby was crowning,
I looked down and realised I had my shoes on,
and I thought, "Oh, my God,
"I am not giving birth with my shoes on."
Oh, dear.
So, yeah, that was funny.
I love the name Rory.
Did Hayden make it back in time?
No, he only got off the plane this morning.
Oh, that's such a shame.
Is he gonna go to Katoomba to be with you?
My mum doesn't have the space for him,
and I'll be back in a day or so.
I'm going in tomorrow.
Are you nervous?
Mmm, a little.
Are you near a train line?
Er, yeah, my mum's house is right on it.
One went past here at the exact same time.
It sounds like you were right outside.
Are you tired?
Now you really are spying on me.
I heard you yawn.
Mmm, yep, I am exhausted,
but I don't think I'm gonna get any sleep tonight.
Well, I'll let you go.
Mmm. Thank you for calling.
I can't wait for our babies to meet.
Me neither.
Hmm.
- Meghan? - Mmm?
Good luck tomorrow.
Thank you.
_
Sinner, repent!
Repent, sister!
Repent!
Or God will send you to hell for your lies.
How far apart were your legs?
Was Mr Bowler circumcised?
Stand up, Agatha.
I ask that Sister Agatha be shunned.
Stand up, Agatha!
Fornicators, liars burn in hell,
unless they repent!
Repent!
Repent! Repent!
Repent!
Can we call him Elvis?
Not Elves!
Why? What do you wanna call him?
Wee-Wee Man!
Gets my vote.
You're silly, Lachie...
I know we're late. I'll be back as soon as I can.
OK. Lachie, where's your other shoe?
Can you make sure Grace doesn't feed them crap.
And stays off Tinder?
Uh, can you? She terrifies me.
Hello.
I'll call him back.
Stop calling my wife.
- Yeah, no, it's today. - Hey, I'm going. Come on.
Um... Oh, thanks! I will.
I'll pass that on. All right, gotta go. Bye!
He just wanted to wish you luck with the baby.
Oh, that's...nice of him.
He is a nice guy. All right!
OK, bye!
- I'll be back. - Bye, Mummy!
- Bye, kids. - Let's do it!
Move it, move it! Come on, mate.
Hi!
- Hi, guys! Hi! - Have fun.
So, you can tell Meghan that I've got sugary cereal,
white bread, and cordial, and she can suck it up.
- All right. - Cool! Thank you!
Hey, Grace, whatever Meg said,
I want you to know I do want this baby.
A lot.
You... You don't believe me?
No, I do. Of course I do.
Yeah, I, um...
Hey, thanks for this. We owe you.
All right, just keep my sister safe today
and we'll call it even.
OK, we'll call it even.
- See you! - Bye!
Where are your keys?
Oh! Hello.
Rhea Bowden.
Hi. Yeah, I remember. How are you?
Great. How's the house?
Are you happy with everything?
Um... Yeah. Extremely, thank you.
Great. I was looking for Jack.
Jack?
He promised me a testimonial for my next brochure.
I'm following up.
Uh... Yeah, he's not here right now,
um, and we're to go to the hospital today.
So, it'll probably have to wait
till after the baby's born.
Oh! Gosh, yes. I won't hold you up.
But tell Jack to give me a call.
Yeah, no problem.
Shit! Fuck!
What are you doing at my house?
What did you say to her?
Relax. I only said I wanted to see you
about the testimonial.
I've been calling and texting.
All right, forget about that. I can't do it.
I need this, Jack. My competitors are killing me.
Whoever put that note on my windscreen,
if they see me spruiking your business,
they're gonna go straight to Meg, OK?
I'm trying to put everything I got
back unto my marriage.
Look, this isn't how
I saw things playing out either.
I'm not gonna risk my marriage and my family
for something that was just a meaningless fling, OK?
Stop.
Hello?
Don't tell me it's sailor boy at last!
I'm looking for Aggie.
Well, shouldn't you be up there,
waiting for the birth?
- No, she's already had him. - What?
Yeah, she had the baby.
That's impossible. She hasn't told me.
Better give her a ring.
Yeah, good luck. Her phone's been off.
Well, I've got spare keys. Come on down.
Jack.
- One more! - Oh, my God!
You're doing great.
Oh! Oh, he's here! He's out.
Oh, my God. Look at that.
Where is he?
Jack?
Can I see him, please?
Can I see him?
Here he is.
Oh, he's perfect.
Oh!
Hi, baby.
Hello.
He's a champion.
Oh, look at us.
Fifteen minutes, she'll be up in the ward. Congrats!
- He's beautiful. - Thank you.
Let's go! OK, quick. Hop in, hop in.
Stand out of the way.
There we go.
Um... Oh, Luce, can you press four, please?
Thank you.
All right, great. So sorry.
Lachie, come on. Don't stare.
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Are you the navy guy?
Yeah?
Thought Aggie was making you up.
_
Mum.
Yeah, Aggie's still not here.
I'll come home soon.
Megs was brilliant,
and this little man got a nine out of ten.
You know, that's an Olympic medal
on the Apgar scale for my son.
Well done, you.
Right, mate, you ready to meet Aunty Grace?
Hi!
- Oh. - Oh, yes, hello!
Oh, my gosh, look at you, little heartbreaker.
God, he looks just like Mum.
That's hilarious!
I think he looks like Jack.
By which she means devastatingly handsome.
Let's kiss him!
- Oh, OK, just gentle. - Yeah!
- Come in. - Oh, that's nice.
Not too much of a good thing.
I can't see him. I'll kiss him!
Yeah, but if you kiss him too much,
you'll kiss his face off!
All right, all right, all right,
all right, all right, shh!
OK, hey, hey, who's hungry?
- Me. - Let's go and have a look.
- Yeah! - Come on, let's go.
Come on.
Daddy, get us chocolate.
I knew everything would be fine
once he was here.
Jack's in love with him already.
Mmm-hmm.
- Please don't mention Simon. - I didn't, but now you have.
He doesn't really look like Jack.
Well, he doesn't look like Simon either.
What are you gonna do about the DNA test?
I'll worry about that tomorrow.
Please just let me have today.
Aunty Grace, can I go in the front seat of the car?
- Hey! - Uncle Simon!
Hello! How you doing?
- Hey! - Hey.
-We have a baby! -Do you?
Hey, guys, can you go finish your chips over there
so that they don't mess up my car?
Thank you!
What are you doing here?
The same as you.
No. They've just had the baby,
so they just need a little bit of space.
Jack knows I'm coming.
Yeah, but he doesn't know why, does he?
She told you.
Er... She told me that you're causing trouble.
So much for keeping secrets.
Oh, we're sisters,
so, we tell each other everything.
Then did she tell you who the father is?
It's Jack.
I don't need you going in there
and giving him the reason to doubt that.
This is between Meg and myself.
And your best friend, and their baby,
and their children, and their marriage.
Listen, if you thought there was a chance
that a baby was yours,
you would want to know too.
Please don't tell me
you brought a DNA kit with you.
I warned her.
Simon, don't be a dick!
- This is not the time... - We're finished.
Can we take Uncle Simon to see our baby?
Uh, no, Uncle Simon is gonna leave, actually. Aren't you?
Uncle Simon is gonna come back another day.
- Another day. - Mmm, OK.
- Say goodbye. Let's go. - Bye!
- Bye. - No, we're gonna go this way.
Can we go to the zoo tomorrow?
- Yeah, zoo! - Maybe.
Please? I wanna see the pandas.
_
Nurse, I need your help with a suture.
Hello? Nurse?
Sorry. I'm on my tea break.
Come with me.
Yeah, he's just sleeping.
He's the cutest thing I've ever seen.
Ahh, I will. I'll pass it on. You too.
How's your mum?
- So excited. - Mmm.
- Sends her love. - Can't wait to get home.
Have all the kids together.
Babe, it's only been a day.
We should take advantage of this, get some sleep.
What are you gonna do?
Celebrate.
Mmm-hmm?
I've just had major surgery, given you another son,
and you're gonna go out and party?
Absolutely!
Yeah, don't feel you have to be responsible
just 'cause I'm stuck in here.
- He's perfect. - Mmm.
Oh! Uh, I thought my wife was in here.
Vik? I'm over here.
I need to have a shower.
OK.
- Gently. - Oh! That's the spot.
Still asleep, OK.
OK? Hey!
Yep!
Wait. Oh, yep, want these? Good.
Yeah.
- Are you sure you can do this? - Yeah, I'll be fine.
- Yeah? - There's a seat in the shower.
How are you gonna wash your hair
without getting the bandages wet?
I'll just get in there first
and then I'll work it out.
You can look after the little guy.
Oh, he's fine.
- OK? - Mmm-hmm.
Excuse me. Hi.
Is... What... Is he OK?
- Sorry? - Uh, that's my baby.
Of course it is. Baby Shaughnessy.
He's gorgeous. Where's your wife?
Uh, she's just having a shower.
Yeah, he's... He's... What's happening?
It's just a routine blood test.
Gotcha.
He'll be back before your wife gets out of the shower.
You're welcome to come with me.
Oh, no, no, that's...
Bye.
See you! Thanks.
You should have a coffee, relax.
Here, give her to me, please.
No!
*I'm begging you, please*
*Be mine*
*For the rest of my life*
I should post a photo tomorrow.
All my followers are asking if we've had the baby yet.
Mmm.
Have you called everyone?
Mmm. Everyone on the list.
Simon said he'd be here.
He must be late.
Visiting hours are over.
Just text him and tell him not to come.
Mmm-hmm.
He's not here.
No. No, they took him for a blood test.
Um, she said he'd be back when you'd finished.
- Who took him? - A nurse.
You think they found something wrong?
Excuse me, um, our baby was taken for a blood test.
When will he be back?
-Who took him? -A nurse.
What kind of blood test was it?
Babe, it's just routine.
Why did he need a blood test? Can you find out, please?
Um, yep. I'll go check.
Thank you.
Hello? Cleaner?
Yeah, I'm cleaning!
OK.
Where is our baby?
Did the nurse have a name tag?
If she did, I didn't read it. Why?
Can you describe her?
Uh, she was tall. Slimmish, I guess. Dark hair.
Wait, why are you asking us these questions?
She knew our names.
Our name was on the crib.
Your baby wasn't scheduled for a blood test.
- But the nurse said... - Where is our baby?
I'm sure there's a totally logical explanation.
I don't see you before.
I just started.
They don't tell me that.
What do you have in there?
It's a good way to carry everything.
Where is your key?
I left it in the basement. I'm gonna grab it now.
- Alarm's bad. Better get out. - Later.
Jack?
Where is my husband?
The alarm is sounding. We're all searching, OK?
I need to find my baby!
Get me a fucking wheelchair right now!
Hey!
Sorry.
I want you to lay down.
I'm gonna go get you a wheelchair.
No, no, you can't get up, just...
Get me a fucking wheelchair!
No!
*CREDITS*