1
00:00:00,334 --> 00:00:01,967
In the book of our lives,

2
00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:06,007
we've come to a new
chapter: Zihuatanejo.

3
00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:10,112
To mark the occasion, I
have a special surprise.

4
00:00:10,137 --> 00:00:11,403
Ta-da!

5
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,727
Oh! Ta-da!

6
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:18,048
Had a little trouble spelling
it, but welcome to Zihuatanejo.

7
00:00:18,073 --> 00:00:20,829
Anyway, I know how much
you all love my singing.

8
00:00:21,556 --> 00:00:25,624
So by assumed popular
request, I wrote a song.

9
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:41,631
? Have you ever had a Mexican location ?

10
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:44,034
? Sitting right on your face ?

11
00:00:44,069 --> 00:00:45,368
? And from that moment ?

12
00:00:45,404 --> 00:00:47,604
? That you take your
first few looks at it ?

13
00:00:47,639 --> 00:00:50,407
? You start to fall in
love with the place ?

14
00:00:50,442 --> 00:00:53,383
? It's full of beautiful imagery ?

15
00:00:53,422 --> 00:00:56,313
? For your geographical spank bank ?

16
00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:59,216
? And there seems
to be no radiation ?

17
00:00:59,251 --> 00:01:02,586
? But you never know, so
let's keep on the lookout ?

18
00:01:02,621 --> 00:01:05,722
? Closure, closure,
closure closure, closure ?

19
00:01:05,757 --> 00:01:08,825
? Mexico's our home now,
and we're happy as clams ?

20
00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:11,962
? Closure, closure,
closure closure, closure ?

21
00:01:11,997 --> 00:01:14,130
? To quote Vince Vaughn in Spanish ?

22
00:01:14,166 --> 00:01:17,601
? This place is dinero ?

23
00:01:17,636 --> 00:01:19,202
? That means money. ?

24
00:01:19,238 --> 00:01:21,037
Olé.

25
00:01:31,583 --> 00:01:34,251
I declare this medical clinic

26
00:01:34,286 --> 00:01:36,319
open!

27
00:01:39,192 --> 00:01:41,285
Let me give you the gran tourino.

28
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:42,602
Okay. Um, oh.

29
00:01:42,627 --> 00:01:46,714
So, I took some hospital scrubs
and I made some new curtains.

30
00:01:46,749 --> 00:01:49,625
I bleached most of the
blood out, but then I decided

31
00:01:49,650 --> 00:01:52,140
to leave a little in for a pop of color.

32
00:01:52,765 --> 00:01:55,056
Then I found some old X-rays

33
00:01:55,091 --> 00:01:59,193
and I invited them to
a Pilbasian paint party.

34
00:01:59,228 --> 00:02:01,362
And that party went all night.

35
00:02:02,432 --> 00:02:05,125
Oh, and see that autopsy table?

36
00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:07,835
That was sitting in the
morgue, gathering dust,

37
00:02:07,870 --> 00:02:11,605
so I just scraped the corpse
off, did a little spit polish,

38
00:02:11,641 --> 00:02:15,609
and voilà, a lovely dining table.

39
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,612
So, when do you want to move in?

40
00:02:18,648 --> 00:02:22,717
'Cause now works for me and
I would also accept yesterday.

41
00:02:24,455 --> 00:02:26,032
Joking.

42
00:02:26,587 --> 00:02:27,722
I'm excited.

43
00:02:29,158 --> 00:02:33,761
Um, okay, well, look, hon, um,

44
00:02:33,796 --> 00:02:36,052
we totally appreciate that offer,

45
00:02:36,077 --> 00:02:38,011
but Erica and I,

46
00:02:38,082 --> 00:02:40,950
we're kind of happy at
our little beach house.

47
00:02:40,975 --> 00:02:42,080
- Yeah.
- Yeah, and Todd and I,

48
00:02:42,105 --> 00:02:43,437
we found this cute little

49
00:02:43,473 --> 00:02:47,273
- B and B up the road that we really like.
- So nice.

50
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,197
- I see.
- Oh, now, hon,

51
00:02:50,222 --> 00:02:54,381
this is not a big deal 'cause
we're not gonna be that far away

52
00:02:54,417 --> 00:02:57,852
and everything is gonna be
just pretty much the same.

53
00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,443
Trust me.

54
00:03:00,135 --> 00:03:01,759
Yeah, sure.

55
00:03:01,784 --> 00:03:04,191
Okay. Now that that's been settled,

56
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:06,694
Todd, we have a honeymoon to get to.

57
00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:09,130
Hubba hubba. Come here.

58
00:03:09,165 --> 00:03:10,731
I'm so excited.

59
00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:13,434
Melissa and I have some
pretty wild stuff planned.

60
00:03:13,469 --> 00:03:16,203
I mean, we even established a safe word.

61
00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:17,705
Well, have fun, bud.

62
00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:18,939
I'll be thinking about you.

63
00:03:18,975 --> 00:03:20,941
I'll-I'll be thinking about you, too.

64
00:03:20,977 --> 00:03:23,210
Not during the sexual parts, you know.

65
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,779
What, am I not attractive to you, bud?

66
00:03:24,814 --> 00:03:26,113
Tandy, come on, bud.

67
00:03:26,149 --> 00:03:27,948
- You go have some fun, bud.
- Will do.

68
00:03:27,984 --> 00:03:29,483
- Oh, yeah.
- Hey.

69
00:03:29,519 --> 00:03:32,486
Yeah, we got to go, too, so,
see y'all when we see y'all.

70
00:03:32,522 --> 00:03:35,289
- Bye.
- Well...

71
00:03:36,778 --> 00:03:38,993
guess it was nice while it lasted.

72
00:03:39,028 --> 00:03:42,763
Care Bear, don't you think
you're being a little dramatic?

73
00:03:42,799 --> 00:03:45,166
Mark my words.

74
00:03:45,201 --> 00:03:48,978
Living apart will destroy this group.

75
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:57,678
All right, Jasper, flip the switch!

76
00:03:59,849 --> 00:04:03,617
Dude, is that magnet micro-surfin'?

77
00:04:03,653 --> 00:04:05,922
'Cause it just caught a microwave.

78
00:04:05,947 --> 00:04:07,813
Cowabunga!

79
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:15,229
Okay, Jasper, if my
calculations are correct,

80
00:04:15,264 --> 00:04:17,164
when you flip that switch,

81
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,234
this is gonna play a
tune we all know and love.

82
00:04:20,269 --> 00:04:22,203
"Jingle Bells."

83
00:04:22,238 --> 00:04:23,871
Flip the switch, bud.

84
00:04:27,292 --> 00:04:29,443
Merry Christmas!

85
00:04:33,049 --> 00:04:35,382
You know, Jasper, when a piece of metal

86
00:04:35,418 --> 00:04:38,118
and a magnet develop
feelings for each other,

87
00:04:38,372 --> 00:04:41,125
they get what's called attraction.

88
00:04:47,945 --> 00:04:50,564
Okay, flip the switch.

89
00:04:52,810 --> 00:04:54,715
Science, huh?

90
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:59,540
Okay, be ready. Here I come.

91
00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:09,149
Okay, flip the switch, Jasper.

92
00:05:09,507 --> 00:05:12,219
Jasper! Jasper, turn it off!

93
00:05:12,255 --> 00:05:13,854
Turn it off!

94
00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:15,389
Oh, God!

95
00:05:15,424 --> 00:05:18,626
Oh, landed right on the hammer, too.

96
00:05:18,661 --> 00:05:20,794
Oh, why the hell did I
leave that thing in there?

97
00:05:20,830 --> 00:05:23,427
Oh, so happy to be back on the ground.

98
00:05:24,731 --> 00:05:25,941
Jasper!

99
00:05:25,966 --> 00:05:28,235
Release! Release!

100
00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:31,472
Jasper!

101
00:05:31,861 --> 00:05:34,508
Where'd you go, bud?!

102
00:05:35,809 --> 00:05:37,209
Uh, come in.

103
00:05:39,743 --> 00:05:41,340
Housekeeping.

104
00:05:41,365 --> 00:05:42,797
Well, hello, ma'am.

105
00:05:42,822 --> 00:05:43,684
You're from Russia.

106
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:45,532
I can tell by your accent.

107
00:05:45,775 --> 00:05:46,720
Da.

108
00:05:46,756 --> 00:05:48,522
Well, I'm a wealthy businessman

109
00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,324
from Glacier Bay, Alaska,

110
00:05:50,359 --> 00:05:53,175
in town for a sombrero conference.

111
00:05:53,550 --> 00:05:55,362
Can I offer you turn-down service?

112
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:58,620
Well, as you can see, my
bed's already been turned down.

113
00:05:58,871 --> 00:06:01,672
If I can't offer you turn-down service,

114
00:06:01,948 --> 00:06:05,439
perhaps I can offer
you turn-on service.

115
00:06:05,474 --> 00:06:07,908
Well, whatever on earth is that?

116
00:06:07,944 --> 00:06:09,910
Take off your pant. I show you.

117
00:06:09,946 --> 00:06:12,279
Now, why would I do that?

118
00:06:12,977 --> 00:06:14,815
Because it involves a part of your body

119
00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:17,284
currently covered in pant.

120
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:19,553
Well, this is all very confusing.

121
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,889
But okay.

122
00:06:25,865 --> 00:06:27,294
Oh, Gail!

123
00:06:28,232 --> 00:06:31,098
Gail! Gail!

124
00:06:35,487 --> 00:06:37,271
Little help?!

125
00:06:39,518 --> 00:06:41,475
Yeah, sure.

126
00:06:41,871 --> 00:06:42,970
Ah.

127
00:06:42,995 --> 00:06:44,545
Yeah, friggin' Jasper ditched me!

128
00:06:44,580 --> 00:06:46,046
Little turkey.

129
00:06:46,082 --> 00:06:49,203
So, there's a switch up on the
control panel right up there...

130
00:06:49,228 --> 00:06:52,953
Yeah, yeah, I've operated
one of these suckers before.

131
00:06:53,299 --> 00:06:54,555
Oh, no, no! No, no!

132
00:06:54,590 --> 00:06:56,256
I think you're doing the wrong button!

133
00:06:56,292 --> 00:06:58,792
- Nope. This is the one I was looking for.
- No... Ah!

134
00:07:03,729 --> 00:07:05,399
Thank you!

135
00:07:08,910 --> 00:07:11,283
Tandy, where have you been?

136
00:07:11,308 --> 00:07:14,608
Well, uh, I was teaching
Jasper some junkyard science.

137
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,752
Then, uh, Gail came by

138
00:07:16,777 --> 00:07:18,612
and taught me about medieval gravity.

139
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:19,980
You saw Gail?

140
00:07:20,016 --> 00:07:21,582
How was she?

141
00:07:21,617 --> 00:07:22,883
What was she doing?

142
00:07:22,918 --> 00:07:24,284
Ooh, tell me everything.

143
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,520
I don't know, you know,
I think she was shopping.

144
00:07:26,555 --> 00:07:28,389
Oh, that is so Gail.

145
00:07:28,424 --> 00:07:31,392
She loves obtaining items she needs.

146
00:07:31,427 --> 00:07:32,893
Wha... how'd she look?

147
00:07:33,452 --> 00:07:36,163
Fine, I guess. You know, still
looked to have all her teeth.

148
00:07:36,198 --> 00:07:37,631
What was she wearing?

149
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,094
Well, I don't know, uh, top, bottom.

150
00:07:40,119 --> 00:07:41,952
- Yeah.
- You know. Shoes, maybe.

151
00:07:41,977 --> 00:07:43,877
Um, little scarf thing.

152
00:07:46,363 --> 00:07:48,110
Oh.

153
00:07:51,714 --> 00:07:54,481
Life really does go on, huh?

154
00:07:54,762 --> 00:07:56,905
I mean, generally, yes,

155
00:07:56,930 --> 00:07:59,386
but, uh, not quite
sure I'm following here.

156
00:07:59,422 --> 00:08:03,323
Come on, Tandy, can you ever
remember Gail wearing a scarf?

157
00:08:04,056 --> 00:08:06,660
Uh... I don't know.

158
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:07,928
Well, I do know.

159
00:08:07,963 --> 00:08:09,496
And the answer is no.

160
00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:11,098
She never ever has.

161
00:08:11,133 --> 00:08:12,166
Ever.

162
00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:14,334
Ugh, I knew this would happen.

163
00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:15,769
Care Bear, it's okay.

164
00:08:15,805 --> 00:08:16,937
Knew what would happen?

165
00:08:16,972 --> 00:08:19,239
Missing important life moments.

166
00:08:19,805 --> 00:08:21,241
And this is day one.

167
00:08:21,277 --> 00:08:23,410
I mean, who knows what I'll miss next?

168
00:08:23,724 --> 00:08:25,799
Maybe she'll start cinching her shirts,

169
00:08:25,824 --> 00:08:28,761
or cutting tree nuts out of her diet,

170
00:08:28,786 --> 00:08:31,785
or... yell-sneezing.

171
00:08:31,821 --> 00:08:34,955
I'm sorry, I just... I miss her so much.

172
00:08:34,990 --> 00:08:38,058
Hey, hey, hey. I have an idea.

173
00:08:38,094 --> 00:08:41,039
Why don't you and I pop over
to Gail's and say hi? Huh?

174
00:08:41,064 --> 00:08:42,330
Reconnect.

175
00:08:42,464 --> 00:08:44,098
No, I don't want to bug her.

176
00:08:44,133 --> 00:08:46,533
How much you want to bet
she's over there right now

177
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:48,836
missing you just as much?

178
00:08:51,568 --> 00:08:53,368
Do you really think so?

179
00:08:53,591 --> 00:08:55,157
I know so.

180
00:08:56,309 --> 00:08:57,408
Let's do it.

181
00:08:57,433 --> 00:08:59,400
- Let's do it.
- Let's do it.

182
00:09:06,021 --> 00:09:07,387
Mom!

183
00:09:07,423 --> 00:09:08,689
Hi.

184
00:09:08,724 --> 00:09:10,624
Oh!

185
00:09:10,659 --> 00:09:13,127
We just, uh, dropped by to say hi.

186
00:09:13,162 --> 00:09:15,474
Gail, you look like
you haven't aged a day.

187
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:17,747
It's good to see you.

188
00:09:17,772 --> 00:09:19,466
I got you a little gift.

189
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:20,734
Um...

190
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:24,163
It's called a walk and talk machine.

191
00:09:24,241 --> 00:09:26,106
I thought it'd be a great
way to keep in touch.

192
00:09:26,142 --> 00:09:29,009
Okay.

193
00:09:30,579 --> 00:09:32,546
Um...

194
00:09:32,581 --> 00:09:34,381
Uh...

195
00:09:35,451 --> 00:09:37,384
Okay.

196
00:09:38,379 --> 00:09:39,953
- Absolutely.
- You're so funny.

197
00:09:41,690 --> 00:09:44,758
- Yep. - Hey.
- Oh, hey.

198
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,894
You're having a dinner party.

199
00:09:46,929 --> 00:09:48,762
Oh, that's fun.

200
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,764
Without us.

201
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,900
Oh, that's bad.

202
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:57,937
Oh, well, it's not a big
deal, Carol. It wasn't, like,

203
00:09:57,962 --> 00:10:01,075
- some planned thing.
- Yeah, we had just run out of coconut oil,

204
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,167
and came over to borrow some,

205
00:10:02,192 --> 00:10:04,101
and they invited us in for dinner.

206
00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:07,455
I was gonna come get y'all,
but then I had a glass of wine,

207
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,615
and I just kind of got wine legs.

208
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,417
Uh-huh. Okay.

209
00:10:11,452 --> 00:10:14,987
Come on, Carol. Y'all
live, like, a mile away.

210
00:10:15,023 --> 00:10:16,718
Well, I don't know about wine legs,

211
00:10:16,743 --> 00:10:19,525
but my very pregnant
legs walked that mile.

212
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,877
- Carol...
- No, it's fine.

213
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:24,413
- Really, it's all good.
- Okay. Why don't y'all

214
00:10:24,449 --> 00:10:26,882
just come on in, sit
down and have something?

215
00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:30,519
Carol Pilbasian-Miller
doesn't crash parties.

216
00:10:30,555 --> 00:10:32,688
She throws them.

217
00:10:33,658 --> 00:10:35,157
- Oh, Carol. - Carol.
- Come on, Carol.

218
00:10:35,193 --> 00:10:36,525
Oh, brother.

219
00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:41,530
You know, we have coconut oil, too.

220
00:10:41,566 --> 00:10:43,532
We have it, too.

221
00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:48,838
Oh, my God.

222
00:10:54,994 --> 00:10:55,978
Ugh.

223
00:10:56,013 --> 00:10:57,313
Hey, Melissa. You know what?

224
00:10:57,348 --> 00:10:59,148
We-we've been going at it all night.

225
00:10:59,183 --> 00:11:00,483
Look, I-I...

226
00:11:00,518 --> 00:11:02,885
Not that I haven't
enjoyed every minute of it,

227
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,553
I just...

228
00:11:04,589 --> 00:11:06,956
You think you could give me a
few minutes to catch my breath?

229
00:11:06,991 --> 00:11:09,024
I'm really dragging here, hon.

230
00:11:09,788 --> 00:11:11,200
Who's this "Melissa"
you're talking about,

231
00:11:11,225 --> 00:11:12,302
you little piece of crap?

232
00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:15,297
Melissa's nobody.

233
00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:16,966
And what's your name?

234
00:11:17,001 --> 00:11:18,968
My name's Spike Sanchez.

235
00:11:19,003 --> 00:11:20,102
And your name's Dirt.

236
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,010
You got that, you little piece of crap?

237
00:11:22,035 --> 00:11:23,427
Yeah, I'm s-I'm sorry, Spike.

238
00:11:23,452 --> 00:11:24,318
My mistake.

239
00:11:24,343 --> 00:11:26,475
You're a mistake, is
what your mother said.

240
00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:27,977
Yep. I'm a big mistake.

241
00:11:28,012 --> 00:11:29,812
My mother never meant to have me.

242
00:11:29,847 --> 00:11:31,313
Shut up and give me your lunch money.

243
00:11:31,349 --> 00:11:34,149
I don't have any lunch money, Spike.

244
00:11:34,749 --> 00:11:38,187
Well, then, I guess we'll have
to find another way to pay.

245
00:11:38,222 --> 00:11:39,887
Take off your pants!

246
00:11:39,912 --> 00:11:42,558
Well, this is all very
confusing, but okay.

247
00:11:42,593 --> 00:11:43,726
Mm.

248
00:11:44,795 --> 00:11:46,428
Can you believe that?

249
00:11:46,464 --> 00:11:47,930
Did she say anything to you?

250
00:11:47,965 --> 00:11:51,000
No, she just left it right
there on the doorstep.

251
00:11:51,035 --> 00:11:52,416
Look, I kind of get it.

252
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:54,395
Oh, you're gonna take her side on this?

253
00:11:54,430 --> 00:11:55,896
No, I'm always on your side.

254
00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:58,566
I am just saying, she's
extremely pregnant,

255
00:11:58,601 --> 00:12:00,234
her hormones are out of whack

256
00:12:00,269 --> 00:12:04,007
and she's just adjusting
to living without you.

257
00:12:04,382 --> 00:12:07,408
Aw, crap, you're right.

258
00:12:10,071 --> 00:12:12,271
Okay, maybe I should just apologize

259
00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:14,014
so we can move the hell on.

260
00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:15,282
Yeah.

261
00:12:15,742 --> 00:12:17,208
What?

262
00:12:17,358 --> 00:12:20,588
You're just amazing.

263
00:12:20,623 --> 00:12:22,256
- Oh...
- Mm.

264
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:27,761
- What is that?
- Mom.

265
00:12:27,797 --> 00:12:30,164
Mom!

266
00:12:30,985 --> 00:12:33,000
- Oh, it's a walkie.
- You there?

267
00:12:33,035 --> 00:12:34,969
- Mom!
- I'm here. What's wrong?

268
00:12:35,332 --> 00:12:36,898
Where have you been?

269
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,239
I've been calling for you.

270
00:12:38,274 --> 00:12:39,773
I'm in labor!

271
00:12:39,809 --> 00:12:42,476
- Oh, my God, are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure!

272
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:43,644
Where are you?

273
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,479
Uh, uh, I'll be right there.

274
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:46,780
- You go, I'll meet you there.
- Okay, okay.

275
00:12:46,816 --> 00:12:48,782
- Okay.
- Hurry, Mom!

276
00:12:49,555 --> 00:12:50,614
Mom!

277
00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:53,554
Just hold tight, Carol,
I'm coming as fast as I can.

278
00:12:53,589 --> 00:12:56,357
Hurry, please, I'm so scared.

279
00:12:56,392 --> 00:12:58,192
Keep breathing, I'll be there soon.

280
00:12:58,227 --> 00:12:59,460
Oh, my God, I think it's coming!

281
00:12:59,495 --> 00:13:00,728
It... what do we do, Gail?

282
00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:03,097
Help! I-I don't know
what the hell I'm doing!

283
00:13:03,132 --> 00:13:04,532
- I'm almost there, hon.
- Push, Care Bear,

284
00:13:04,567 --> 00:13:06,500
you got this! Gail, hurry, please!

285
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,668
I think I see the head!

286
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:08,869
Oh, keep pushing!

287
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,349
Oh.

288
00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:26,987
Oh, Carol.

289
00:13:31,193 --> 00:13:32,493
Where were you?

290
00:13:35,429 --> 00:13:36,964
Are you a fish?

291
00:13:37,257 --> 00:13:39,800
'Cause you just got schooled.

292
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:51,692
What the hell, Carol?

293
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,714
I just wanted to see if you'd come.

294
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,816
You honestly think I wouldn't come

295
00:13:55,852 --> 00:13:58,177
for my own grandchild's birth?

296
00:13:58,202 --> 00:14:00,403
I honestly don't know anymore.

297
00:14:01,052 --> 00:14:02,423
Carol, are you okay?

298
00:14:02,458 --> 00:14:03,824
Where's the baby? Did we miss it?

299
00:14:03,860 --> 00:14:04,992
You all missed it!

300
00:14:05,028 --> 00:14:06,160
Oh, my God!

301
00:14:06,195 --> 00:14:08,072
Oh, honey. It's okay.

302
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,797
Now, if this had been the real thing,

303
00:14:09,832 --> 00:14:11,832
none of you would've been here.

304
00:14:11,867 --> 00:14:14,268
And it'll probably happen a lot faster.

305
00:14:14,303 --> 00:14:17,471
The Pilbasians are notorious for
their cheetah-like birth speeds.

306
00:14:17,506 --> 00:14:19,073
Tandy, are you wearing a diaper?

307
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,342
Yeah, it's called
committing to the role.

308
00:14:21,377 --> 00:14:22,643
Well, you look ridiculous.

309
00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:23,944
This is messed up.

310
00:14:23,979 --> 00:14:26,980
I ran all the way over
here with a week-old baby.

311
00:14:27,016 --> 00:14:28,882
And I haven't slept in, like, 36 hours.

312
00:14:28,918 --> 00:14:31,385
Okay? I'm hot, I'm dehydrated.

313
00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:33,173
I mean, this is literally
the last thing I needed.

314
00:14:33,198 --> 00:14:34,310
Thanks a lot, guys, really.

315
00:14:34,335 --> 00:14:35,501
You're welcome.

316
00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:36,690
Come on, Todd, back to it.

317
00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:38,692
Yes, Mistress Celeste.

318
00:14:38,728 --> 00:14:40,861
Ah.

319
00:14:40,896 --> 00:14:42,391
Oh, Gail.

320
00:14:44,485 --> 00:14:47,511
Well, that was not received well.

321
00:14:47,758 --> 00:14:49,795
But I think they got the message.

322
00:14:49,820 --> 00:14:51,605
Well, we had to prove our point.

323
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:55,275
And a point always hurts
because it's so sharp.

324
00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,947
I can't believe I had
to untie you for that.

325
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,049
Please, just give me a sec.

326
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:05,519
You okay?

327
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:07,721
Yeah.

328
00:15:07,757 --> 00:15:09,563
Look, I'm-I'm just gonna
pop over to the store

329
00:15:09,588 --> 00:15:11,009
and get some more energy drinks.

330
00:15:11,034 --> 00:15:13,060
Okay. Hurry back.

331
00:15:13,095 --> 00:15:14,438
Yeah.

332
00:15:19,268 --> 00:15:21,201
Look at that diagram.

333
00:15:21,237 --> 00:15:22,903
Yeah.

334
00:15:22,938 --> 00:15:24,438
It's beautiful.

335
00:15:24,473 --> 00:15:26,640
So that's the pelvis.

336
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:29,093
Hey, Carol. You there, hon?

337
00:15:29,118 --> 00:15:31,078
Look, I've thought things through,

338
00:15:31,113 --> 00:15:33,514
and I realize that maybe you were right.

339
00:15:33,549 --> 00:15:35,382
I-I don't know what I was thinking,

340
00:15:35,418 --> 00:15:37,317
but bottom line,

341
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:40,320
I owe you a big fat apology.

342
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:41,688
So what do you say?

343
00:15:41,724 --> 00:15:43,290
Will you accept my...

344
00:15:46,929 --> 00:15:50,197
Mom. Mom, are you all right?

345
00:15:50,232 --> 00:15:51,832
No, Carol.

346
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:53,400
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

347
00:15:53,436 --> 00:15:56,437
I was walking and I fell down a well.

348
00:15:56,472 --> 00:16:00,274
Oh, God. There's a whole bunch
of spiders and snakes down here.

349
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:06,157
- Good one, Gail.
- I'm in trouble too, guys.

350
00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:09,216
I just stepped on a bear trap. No!

351
00:16:09,251 --> 00:16:11,618
Oh, the pain.

352
00:16:11,654 --> 00:16:15,122
Dawn, crawl for help.

353
00:16:15,157 --> 00:16:17,891
A bunch of damn snakes just bit me.

354
00:16:19,370 --> 00:16:20,627
I don't know how many.

355
00:16:20,663 --> 00:16:23,093
I lost count after 20.

356
00:16:23,118 --> 00:16:26,300
I'm bleeding like
Niagara Falls over here.

357
00:16:26,335 --> 00:16:27,534
Oh. Oh, God.

358
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,036
How dare they?

359
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,471
Faking a birth is one thing,

360
00:16:30,506 --> 00:16:32,272
but falling down a snake well

361
00:16:32,308 --> 00:16:34,141
and getting caught in a
bear trap, respectively,

362
00:16:34,176 --> 00:16:35,676
are no laughing matters.

363
00:16:35,711 --> 00:16:37,711
Yeah. Lost a cousin
to a bear trap. Yeah.

364
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:39,375
Guys, something's wrong.

365
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,348
My heart is racing like crazy.

366
00:16:41,383 --> 00:16:43,450
Yes. Todd.

367
00:16:43,486 --> 00:16:46,086
Oh, guys. When it rains it pour...

368
00:16:46,121 --> 00:16:47,254
Todd, I need help, too.

369
00:16:47,289 --> 00:16:48,922
I'm being attacked by chupacabras.

370
00:16:48,958 --> 00:16:50,591
I think I'm having a heart attack.

371
00:16:50,626 --> 00:16:53,653
- I'm in the store. I'm in the
queso fundido aisle. - No.

372
00:16:53,678 --> 00:16:56,028
I wish I was having a heart attack

373
00:16:56,053 --> 00:16:57,431
because these chupacabra's fangs

374
00:16:57,466 --> 00:16:59,333
- are like meat cleavers.
- Melissa.

375
00:16:59,368 --> 00:17:01,702
No, somebody, quick. I
need like a dulling agent,

376
00:17:01,737 --> 00:17:04,238
- or chupacabra repellant quick.
- Melissa.

377
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,090
Wisconsin.

378
00:17:07,410 --> 00:17:08,742
What?

379
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,978
Todd, what did you say?

380
00:17:11,418 --> 00:17:12,523
Wisconsin.

381
00:17:12,548 --> 00:17:14,448
Wisconsin. Oh, my God, Todd.

382
00:17:18,248 --> 00:17:20,892
Todd! Todd!

383
00:17:25,861 --> 00:17:27,427
Todd!

384
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,466
Todd!

385
00:17:32,712 --> 00:17:35,233
Todd! Todd, wake up.

386
00:17:36,569 --> 00:17:37,698
Todd, wake up.

387
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,256
Wake up, Todd.

388
00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:41,205
Guys, please come help.

389
00:17:41,230 --> 00:17:42,345
I don't know what's wrong with him.

390
00:17:42,370 --> 00:17:43,781
I think Todd had a heart attack.

391
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:46,582
Dawn just crawled into a baby bear trap.

392
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:47,873
Guys! This is real!

393
00:17:47,909 --> 00:17:49,742
He won't wake up. I
don't know what to do.

394
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,510
You have to help. We're at the store.

395
00:17:51,546 --> 00:17:54,413
- Oh, my God.
- We're on our way, hon.

396
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:55,948
You were right to turn it off.

397
00:17:55,983 --> 00:17:59,051
Oh, they went past the
acceptable level of lying.

398
00:17:59,087 --> 00:18:01,020
Like a golf ball on a parking lot,

399
00:18:01,055 --> 00:18:03,155
- a bad lie.
- Mm-hmm.

400
00:18:04,559 --> 00:18:06,025
Well, look who came crawling back.

401
00:18:06,060 --> 00:18:07,693
Shut up, Carol. We need oxygen

402
00:18:07,729 --> 00:18:10,663
- and a heart monitor right now!
- Yeah, okay. I'm on it.

403
00:18:13,735 --> 00:18:15,301
- Okay.
- Ready?

404
00:18:15,336 --> 00:18:18,337
One, two, three.

405
00:18:20,508 --> 00:18:23,309
- Okay, what do we do?
- I already did chest compressions

406
00:18:23,344 --> 00:18:24,643
and got him to swallow an aspirin,

407
00:18:24,679 --> 00:18:26,489
so hopefully, that'll help.

408
00:18:26,514 --> 00:18:28,613
This is all my fault. I
shouldn't have done any of it.

409
00:18:28,638 --> 00:18:29,737
No, this is my fault.

410
00:18:29,762 --> 00:18:30,750
I pushed him too hard.

411
00:18:30,785 --> 00:18:32,418
I thought we were having fun.

412
00:18:32,453 --> 00:18:33,819
This is all of our fault,

413
00:18:33,855 --> 00:18:36,055
and none of our fault. It just is.

414
00:18:36,864 --> 00:18:38,290
God, why isn't that thing working?

415
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,730
It takes a minute to kick in.

416
00:18:39,755 --> 00:18:41,925
- Is the generator going?
- Yes, it's on.

417
00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:43,538
Okay.

418
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,733
Come on. Come on.

419
00:18:49,971 --> 00:18:51,570
Come on.

420
00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:59,145
That's a good sign.

421
00:19:04,318 --> 00:19:07,019
Todd.

422
00:19:07,584 --> 00:19:09,989
Todd, can you hear me?

423
00:19:12,732 --> 00:19:14,593
Mistress Celeste?

424
00:19:14,629 --> 00:19:18,097
Oh, my...

425
00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:27,651
Must've been all those
energy drinks I drank.

426
00:19:27,722 --> 00:19:30,142
But I'm okay now.

427
00:19:30,178 --> 00:19:31,644
I'll go get you some water.

428
00:19:31,679 --> 00:19:33,446
Oh, thanks, hon.

429
00:19:35,618 --> 00:19:37,383
Hi.

430
00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:40,152
Brows are really coming back, bud.

431
00:19:40,188 --> 00:19:42,555
Yeah. I guess we're both in recovery.

432
00:19:44,019 --> 00:19:45,658
Glad you're still here, bud.

433
00:19:46,365 --> 00:19:48,260
I, myself, have never reached the point

434
00:19:48,296 --> 00:19:50,310
of overexertion during sex,

435
00:19:50,335 --> 00:19:54,010
you know, due to Carol's problem
with, uh, "finishing early."

436
00:19:54,035 --> 00:19:56,569
- Yeah.
- Oh, don't tell Carol I said that.

437
00:19:56,604 --> 00:19:58,175
She's embarrassed, but, uh,

438
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,534
y-you can tell the others if you want.

439
00:20:00,708 --> 00:20:02,174
Okay.

440
00:20:05,308 --> 00:20:07,446
Oh, my God.

441
00:20:09,011 --> 00:20:12,351
- Look at this ragtag crew.
- Mmm.

442
00:20:12,386 --> 00:20:15,354
Bunch of misfits.

443
00:20:15,633 --> 00:20:17,046
I mean,

444
00:20:17,071 --> 00:20:18,724
we're not always great together,

445
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:22,328
but clearly, we're much worse apart.

446
00:20:24,699 --> 00:20:27,800
Mom, are you saying what
I think you're saying?

447
00:20:29,710 --> 00:20:32,204
Oh, my gol!

448
00:20:35,376 --> 00:20:36,542
But,

449
00:20:36,577 --> 00:20:37,843
under one condition.

450
00:20:37,879 --> 00:20:39,211
If we're all gonna live together,

451
00:20:39,247 --> 00:20:41,714
it's definitely not gonna
be in this crap hole.

452
00:20:41,749 --> 00:20:46,018
Okay. Let's go ask the others.

453
00:21:00,591 --> 00:21:02,791
Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -

