Quick COVID safety reminder:
Please stop asking customers for gum.
Actually, that's not a COVID thing.
You should probably never do that.
As many of you know, today is my last day.
And given the crazy circumstances,
Glenn has agreed to step back in as manager.
So, yay! Glenn again!
Guys, let's look on the bright side.
At least we don't lose Jonah
for another 13 days and 11 hours.
Do you have my flight inf... Anyway, yes.
Amy is heading out with Parker and Emma now,
and I'm gonna tie up some loose ends,
and then join her in that amount of time.
I just can't believe you're actually leaving.
I thought you and me were gonna work here
till we got old and died together.
I mean, not here at the store. But probably.
Nope, these two are gonna die in California.
Of old age, hopefully, but who knows?
I heard Long Beach is a chlamydia pocket.
- You don't die of chlamydia. - Yeah.
It just goes away on its own.
That is not true, Marcus.
Wow, you guys are gonna go off into the sunset,
- together forever. - Okay.
- California's so lucky! - Guys, we're just moving.
Yeah, I can see it... Jonah and Amy,
old as hell just sitting on a porch,
looking out at the Golden Gate.
You know, making out under the light of the Hollywood sign.
I have map questions, but nice.
You guys did it. You beat the odds,
and now you're gonna be together forever...
Okay, we're gonna be in this meeting forever
if you guys don't knock it off.
So Sandra, you're cleaning carts.
Her last time handing out assignments!
Sarah, you're repricing maternity wear in Softlines.
Her last time asking Sarah to reprice maternity in Softlines.
Brett, if you could please be...
- This is history! - On toilet duty... Glenn!
credits
All right, let's talk going away party.
I want to lower your expectations.
We have some mylar balloons, no helium.
- Hey, close the door. - Oh, yeah.
So, this might be nothing, but a couple days ago,
I realized that this turquoise ring
I keep on my bedside table disappeared.
Oh, so Emma started stealing from you?
- For drugs probably. - No, I-I think Jonah took it.
- For drugs. - No, no drugs.
I think he took it to get my ring size.
For an engagement ring.
- Oh! - Eh...
What is that?
I thought you inexplicably loved him.
I do, I do, I love him.
I Just... I just don't know if we're there yet.
I mean, I was already nervous about
this big move across the country,
and now everybody's talking about forever...
You don't have to get married right away.
Wait a couple years.
Oh, we could have a double wedding.
The theme is winter lumber mill.
It's not negotiable.
I'll think about it.
It's just this move is a lot of pressure on the relationship.
And what if it doesn't work out?
Jonah's uprooting his whole life for me.
That may not be true.
That place is a land of liberal, small-boned men
who drink kombucha and collect sea glass without shame.
Chances are, Jonah would end up in California eventually.
Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right.
Maybe this isn't all about me. I mean, get over yourself, Amy.
- And the ring... - Emma has a drug problem.
Okay, thank you.
Hey, do we think moccasins are cultural appropriation?
I feel like I can pull them off.
And in a warm, dry climate, you can rock mocs year-round.
Rock mocs?
California Jonah's gonna be a lot.
Hey, so I know you're gonna make fun of me or whatever,
but I just wanted you to know that I'm gonna miss you.
- I'm gonna miss you too. - Okay, there it is.
Ha ha, I showed my emotions, so I'm a loser.
- No, man, I'm being serious. You're a good guy.
Yeah, okay, all right. Yeah, yeah.
You know what I'm not gonna miss?
This... this... this whole firing squad of sarcasm.
No, I'm being serious. Look, it's been a crazy year.
I've taken some stock of my life,
and I'm glad I got to know you.
Oh, wow. Really?
Yeah.
Ah! Ha ha!
You almost had me!
[bleep] you, dude! [Bleep] you!
Come in.
Hey, hey, Matt... oh, wow!
So cute and cozy in here!
I bet this is what Santa's toy workshop looks like.
Well, not the main floor,
but, you know, payroll or something.
Thanks!
Oh, by the way,
thanks for keeping this little assistant arrangement going.
I know it's kind of unusual.
Of course, and I won't change a thing,
because I wanna help you too.
And also I don't totally understand
what you and Amy came up with.
- I appreciate it. - Oh, now business.
I was thinking of doing a little slideshow
for Amy's goodbye party, and I was hoping that you could
come up with some electronic photos of her time here.
You know the type of photos I mean?
Like, you can't hold them in your hand.
I do. And happy to.
Oh, hey!
Maybe we could videotape people saying goodbye to Amy,
and then take those video clips
and, like, put them next to each other.
Like, but when one would stop, the other one would begin,
- sort of like a parade. - Yes, I get it, yeah.
Please stop. This is hurting me.
Sandra, just a heads-up, with Amy leaving,
you're on track to being my best friend in the store.
- Really? - Yeah.
Obviously, I'm not thrilled with this situation,
so I am interviewing other candidates,
but if I crap out, it's you.
Understood. Good luck.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Where are you going? You're not done here.
You think corona just sticks to the handles?
You think it plays by your rules?
Put some elbow grease into it, for God's sake!
- What's wrong with you? - Sorry, sorry.
Anyway, I'll keep you posted on the best friend thing.
Hey, how's your last day going?
- Exhausting. - Yeah?
Justine made me do a bunch of
"Charlie's Angels" pictures with her.
Don't ask to see them.
It's gonna be hard to leave this place, huh?
Plus, I have all these Zephra forms I have to fill out.
Yeah, well, your mistake was leaving with the job.
I got nothing to sign.
- Kinda makes it feel very real, huh? - Yeah.
Can't believe I'm moving out to California.
Although part of me feels like you probably
would've ended up out there anyway, right?
I don't know, I never really thought about California.
I always figured I might end up back in Chicago.
Hmm.
Man, Zephra's life insurance policy is incredible.
The surviving spouse makes out like a bandit.
If you die, I'm set for life.
You better watch out.
There's a lot of cliffs out there, you know?
Two of us go hiking,
and we get a little too close to the edge...
Accidents happen, you know?
If I don't shave,
I could sell the whole grieving husband thing...
I don't think we really have to talk about this right now.
Yeah, no, I'm... I was just joking.
- It just... - Yeah, no, I mean, I loved it.
You know, the whole, like, cliff thing.
Aah! Ha! Dead! Ha!
- I just, I have... - yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, sing... sign your papers.
Maybe not best friends, right, but two levels down?
Like we don't go out to eat lunch,
but sometimes we eat it here together.
Mm, I don't really like watching you eat.
It's not that you're bad at it. It's just... small mouth.
What would three levels down look like?
We eat lunch at different tables
and kind of go, "'Sup?"
"'Sup?" Okay, that'll be fun.
I think that's the right level for us.
- Great, thanks. - Thank you.
'Sup?
To be honest, I'm not sure what's going on with Amy.
Things have felt off recently.
Like, earlier, I made a joke, and she just flipped out.
- What was the joke? - Nothing.
It was just like how I was gonna murder her.
- Murder her? - Yeah, like for insurance.
Guys who look like you should not make jokes
about murdering their girlfriends.
I don't have a murderer face, I don't.
No one's ever said that to me before.
Because they don't wanna get murdered.
Okay, when I say "Amy,"
what's a fun story that springs to mind?
She once borrowed $30 from me
so she could buy us a 6-foot party sub.
Everybody said, "Oh, thank you, sweet Amy!"
She never paid me back.
I don't think that's a very fun story.
Hey, Amy, it's so great that you're going to "California."
My sister went to "California,"
and it really helped turn her life around.
The main thing I remember about Amy
is her and Jonah doing it on camera
during that town hall meeting.
Free live porn? Uh, yes, please!
Good luck drying out in there.
In "California."
What's your favorite memory of Amy?
I just met her this morning, so...
today's my first day here.
Oh, wow, fun!
Let's hear your hot take on Amy.
She seems... really nice.
Oh, could you be more specific?
She's nice and... short.
- This is a mistake. - Yeah, okay.
It was nice meeting you guys.
Hey, are these all clean?
Yup, freshly sanitized.
Ugh, I hate the squeakers.
Ooh, we got a curvy one.
Ma'am, if you could...
you're touching all of them, it's just...
Oh, this one's still warm. Yikes.
Sorry.
Um...
Hey, so I just wanted to apologize
for my joke earlier.
You know where I stand on violence against women.
Yes, I know, you're against it, we're cool.
Okay, cool, 'cause you seemed uncomfortable,
- and I don't wanna... - Yeah.
It wasn't... it wasn't that.
Um... it's just...
there's been a lot of talk about our future lately,
and it's just a little overwhelming.
- Oh, uh... oh, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just excited.
No, me too! I'm... I'm excited too.
It's just... don't you also sort of feel like,
"Aah, I'm drowning! Ha ha!"
Mine's kind of a purer excitement,
without the drowning part.
Yes... just... Jonah, please just don't listen to me, okay?
I don't... I'm spinning out today.
I just... the truth is, I lost a ring
and I thought you took it, and I just, like...
I got scared that you were thinking about, like,
- proposing to me, and... - Wow.
What?
I just... I didn't realize that the idea
of, um, marrying me was so horrifying.
- No, no, that's not... - No, I mean, I'm just... I'm surprised
because you asked me to move out with you.
I mean, well, technically you offered to move with me.
- Seriously? - And I love it!
I loved the idea of you moving with me.
I just... I didn't realize that that meant
everything was gonna move so quickly.
What are you... what's... what are you doing?
Where's... where is this coming from?
It's just...
I married Adam because I felt like I had to.
And that was the wrong thing to do.
And I just feel like this move is pushing us down this path,
and I don't think we'd be talking about marriage
if I didn't get this job, right?
I...
No, yeah. You're probably right.
Here is your ring back, by the way.
Um, I'm gonna... I gotta get back to work.
I will see you, uh, in a little bit.
Oh, hey, I'm coming back here to do some work.
Uh-huh, the old "I'll check in the back for you" trick.
It's all good.
I kinda wanna hide away today too... it's been a rough one.
Yeah... oh, hey, I apologize for Jonah's murder joke.
I've been a little generous with my laughs.
I'm just, you know,
trying to make things nice in these last couple weeks.
Guy's just amped up.
I'm sure he'll level out once he gets out to California.
Yeah, I mean, I'm not sure
that's even happening anymore, but...
What? Dude.
I think he's ready for a much bigger step than I am.
He's talking about marriage.
I mean, you can't be that surprised
that the guy wants to marry you, right?
I mean, he's been in love with you since day one.
You remember the whole stars on the ceiling thing?
Of course I remember. I mean...
which, by the way, I barely knew the guy.
It could've been a little creepy.
Oh, I totally see that. It's a big swing.
But you're right.
I mean, he's been all in since day one,
and he has such a big heart and he's a good person and...
God, I don't know what I'm doing.
Well, I'm sure you'll figure something out.
Thanks.
I'm gonna play this game.
Play away.
Best friend? Jeez!
I'm so thrilled you thought of me.
You're just in the running, okay?
And with you, I'm mostly interested in your ability
to donate any organs I may need in the future.
Well, I hope you don't need a vagina,
because I'll be using it.
Also, my kidneys aren't great.
Hi, Amy. It's Glenn.
I just wanted to say how very proud I,
Glenn, am of you.
Sorry, Glenn. Um, she can see you.
So you don't have to keep saying your name.
Oh, of course, right. She'll know. Okay.
Hi Amy, it's me.
Stop.
Hey, there you are.
I've been looking for you.
I wanted to say I'm sorry
and I love you,
and I got you something.
- Aqua socks? - Yeah.
Well, I wanted to get you moccasins,
but the only pair left in the store
is covered with what I'm hoping is Silly Putty
and not something from an animal.
But you get it.
I-I actually don't.
It means I'm excited about California,
and you and me and us in California!
It's a gesture, Jonah. I'm gesturing.
I'm doing the Jonah thing.
Okay, so you're saying...
I'm saying maybe I'm wrong, and... and... and...
and probably you're right, and we should just get married.
Maybe not right away, or, you know,
maybe not for a few years, but then eventually...
Amy, Amy, do you wanna marry me?
Are you...
I'm not proposing to you. I'm asking a question.
Do you wanna marry me? Yes or no?
I... that's not a fair question!
That's not fair? I'm blowing my life up for you.
The least you could do is answer the question.
- Do you wanna marry me? - I don't know!
That's not answer! Yes or no?
Then no!
No, Jonah...
I don't know why I have to make this decision right now.
Can't we just get to California
and then we'll just see how it goes?
I'm not coming to California.
What?
Amy, we've been together for years.
We live together, we work together,
we're raising Parker together.
I don't know what else you need to know.
And I think I deserve a little more than just see how it goes.
Okay, then... then...
then don't come to California.
We can... we can do long-distance.
We'll Zoom date, and you can have your couscous
- and me with my Hot Pockets... - Amy.
Please.
I don't wanna lose you.
When we first met, you told me that...
all your days felt the same, and you felt trapped.
And I don't wanna be the reason
that you feel like that again.
Jonah.
What if I'm wrong?
What if I get out there and I realize that I made a mistake?
I'm guessing you'll know where to find me.
- Aqua socks, Amy? [bleep] aqua socks?
I hate you, 2020!
And that's why you're the best, Amy.
Yours, and warmest regards,
Glenn... Sturgis.
Hi Amy, thanks for looking out for me all these years.
You were kinda like a second mom to me.
You taught me so much.
And now that you're moving away,
it's kinda like you're saying, "Okay, Cheyenne,
"like, you know it all now.
You have nothing left to learn."
You know, for me, this has always just been a job.
- You know, a job I hated. - What?
I'd clock in, do as little work as possible, clock out.
And that's still gonna be the case, but...
I'm just gonna hate it a little more without you here.
Aww.
- Aww. - Aww.
Amy? I don't, uh... it doesn't ring a bell.
There's an Amy that works here?
Cloud 9?
Just kidding. Dumb joke.
Anyway, congrats. You're awesome.
You're the best thing that ever happened to me,
I love you, blah blah blah blah blah.
I don't really need to say goodbye,
so I will just say,
"See you in California."
Can't wait.
- Aww. - Aww.
Okay, my turn.
Shh, guys, best part!
Amy, you've done so much for me.
You gave me this job,
you've helped me through some...
some hard times. and if it weren't for you,
I never would've met my boyfriend.
Right?
Because even though I said,
"Stop, I'm not gonna date your brother,"
even when it became a clear HR violation...
- It is. - You just kept pushing.
And, Amy, you were right.
? Who can say if I've been changed for the better? ?
? Because I knew you ?
[harmonizing] ? Because I knew you ?
? I have been changed ?
? For good ?
- That'll do, pig. - Excuse me?
Oh, wow. All packed up.
Yup, just about.
Well, I wanted to give you something.
Aww, that's pretty. Thank you.
It's Myrtle.
Remember how she always wanted to go out to California?
So I talked to her family,
and they said you can take her out there.
You know, make her dreams come true.
Oh, that's really sweet, actually.
Yeah, her sister said you got about a third of her in there.
- Oh. - Yeah.
And... and...
I also wanted to give you this.
An I-9? Thank you.
It's your I-9 from when you were a summer hire, remember?
And now here we are, 17 years later,
and you're off to some fancy corporate job.
I couldn't be prouder.
I can't believe you saved this.
Well, I always knew you were gonna be special.
Also, I saved everyone's, for auditing purposes.
Well, it's still very cool.
It's gonna be really weird not seeing your face,
'cause your face has just always been there.
- Not yet! - Okay.
Wow.
It's a going-away present from me and Bo.
We found a ton of fireworks at the dump.
Ohh, Cheyenne, that's really sweet, thank you.
You know you can call me, right?
- For anything. - Oh, yeah.
I probably won't call you, though.
I'll just text, if that's okay.
Yeah, no, I... that's what I meant.
Okay. Ooh, I'm empty.
Go get it.
- Hey. - Hey.
How's the search going?
Eh, kinda striking out.
I'm staring down the barrel of Sandra right now,
so I think I may have to resort to the night shift.
- Yikes. - How are you doing?
The whole Jonah thing?
Feels pretty bad.
But also not wrong, so...
I'll miss him.
I'll miss you.
Yeah.
You know, the harder I try to replace you,
the more I realize that, uh,
maybe you're not replaceable.
I don't know. I'm probably wrong.
Yeah, just tired or something.
That's... that's probably it.
Yeah, I mean, we're still gonna see each other.
Sure, I mean, I'm never going to California,
but we can meet in Fort Collins.
It's a deal.
Thought you might need something a little stronger.
Thanks.
Want me to start talking trash about her?
No, man, come on.
Maybe tomorrow.
Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com