1
00:00:32,865 --> 00:00:35,789
Welcome to L'Orange.
I'll be your server, Kyle.

2
00:00:35,822 --> 00:00:37,222
Our specials tonight...

3
00:00:37,255 --> 00:00:38,822
Damn it, Kyle, are you blind?

4
00:00:38,856 --> 00:00:40,423
We're in the middle
of a conversation.

5
00:00:40,456 --> 00:00:42,495
I'm so sorry.

6
00:00:42,856 --> 00:00:44,222
I'll come back.

7
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,513
Actually, I kinda wish
we'd heard the specials now.

8
00:00:51,490 --> 00:00:53,917
This is fun. So fun, right?

9
00:01:26,566 --> 00:01:32,251
www.subtitulamos.tv

10
00:01:34,525 --> 00:01:37,455
This was a doozy
of an idea, Archer.

11
00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:39,072
I just love double dates.

12
00:01:39,097 --> 00:01:40,889
You're at a restaurant, Robert.

13
00:01:40,923 --> 00:01:43,313
We can trade money
for food here.

14
00:01:43,338 --> 00:01:44,473
Sorry about that, Gabrielle.

15
00:01:44,498 --> 00:01:46,696
At his age,
Robert gets confused easily.

16
00:01:46,721 --> 00:01:49,022
If it's not
painfully obvious yet,

17
00:01:49,047 --> 00:01:51,831
Archer is incredibly jealous
of my husband.

18
00:01:51,856 --> 00:01:53,622
Yeah, I-I desperately wish

19
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,963
I had liver spots
and eyebrows like haystacks.

20
00:01:55,988 --> 00:01:57,690
- You know what?
- Look, why don't we just

21
00:01:57,722 --> 00:01:59,494
acknowledge the elephant
in the room?

22
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:01,556
That you have
borderline personality disorder

23
00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,248
and desperately need help?

24
00:02:03,273 --> 00:02:04,890
I was talking, Lana,

25
00:02:04,923 --> 00:02:07,678
about how incredibly gorgeous
Gabrielle looks tonight.

26
00:02:07,703 --> 00:02:10,731
It's like somebody stuffed
103 pounds of "ka-kow"

27
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,234
into a red golf sock.

28
00:02:12,259 --> 00:02:14,343
I couldn't agree more.

29
00:02:14,519 --> 00:02:16,331
You look gorgeous, Gabrielle.

30
00:02:16,356 --> 00:02:17,722
Honey, shut up.

31
00:02:17,756 --> 00:02:20,062
So how did you two meet?

32
00:02:20,087 --> 00:02:22,429
We met in a study
my university is conducting

33
00:02:22,454 --> 00:02:24,864
for individuals
who have been in a coma.

34
00:02:24,889 --> 00:02:26,823
- Catch that, Lana?
- That you have brain damage?

35
00:02:26,856 --> 00:02:30,156
No, I mean the part
where Gabrielle is a scientist?

36
00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:32,323
Are you in science as well?

37
00:02:32,356 --> 00:02:34,221
That's funny.

38
00:02:34,246 --> 00:02:36,731
You see, Lana's parents
desperately wanted her

39
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:38,590
to be a scientist,
but she hated them.

40
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- And now they're dead.
- They're not dead.

41
00:02:40,356 --> 00:02:42,145
How would you know?
You're not a scientist.

42
00:02:42,170 --> 00:02:43,690
You know, one of my foundations

43
00:02:43,722 --> 00:02:45,722
is involved in neuroscience,

44
00:02:45,756 --> 00:02:48,622
and we just did a study
on memory-mapping neurons.

45
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I just read about that!

46
00:02:50,756 --> 00:02:52,823
Let me ask you, did you agree
with their findings

47
00:02:52,856 --> 00:02:54,842
on spatially tuned
memory trace cells?

48
00:02:54,867 --> 00:02:57,991
Slow down. Who am I,
Andrew Fielding Huxley?

49
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:02,156
Gosh, that's good.

50
00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:04,728
So have we decided
on a first course?

51
00:03:04,753 --> 00:03:06,455
I actually need
a little more time.

52
00:03:06,489 --> 00:03:08,190
But, Lana, you're probably fine

53
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:09,992
with the first thing
you see, right?

54
00:03:10,017 --> 00:03:11,220
I'm just...

55
00:03:12,356 --> 00:03:14,314
Going to go to the ladies' room.

56
00:03:14,845 --> 00:03:16,066
Excuse me.

57
00:03:16,091 --> 00:03:18,849
- I'll join you.
- Great.

58
00:03:19,026 --> 00:03:21,714
Don't take too long, or I
might fall in love with Robert.

59
00:03:21,739 --> 00:03:23,552
You know how fast it can happen!

60
00:03:24,284 --> 00:03:26,305
Ha, I was joking,
obviously, Robert.

61
00:03:26,426 --> 00:03:28,281
The eyebrows are a deal breaker.

62
00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:32,538
This is a beautiful restaurant.

63
00:03:32,738 --> 00:03:35,205
Robert's great.
You're so lucky.

64
00:03:36,179 --> 00:03:37,564
So...

65
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:39,856
you know Archer from work?

66
00:03:40,483 --> 00:03:41,491
What?

67
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,304
Wait a minute.
You're joking, right?

68
00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:45,823
Archer didn't tell you
anything about us?

69
00:03:45,856 --> 00:03:47,289
Just that you work together,

70
00:03:47,323 --> 00:03:48,556
that you're married to Robert,

71
00:03:48,590 --> 00:03:50,356
that your jaw makes
this clicking sound

72
00:03:50,389 --> 00:03:51,823
when you chew like...

73
00:03:53,439 --> 00:03:55,977
He didn't mention that we,
I don't know,

74
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,333
have a child together?

75
00:03:57,358 --> 00:03:59,302
Get out of town!

76
00:03:59,551 --> 00:04:01,129
You're AJ's mom?

77
00:04:02,856 --> 00:04:04,691
So how's work, Archer?

78
00:04:04,716 --> 00:04:06,166
Hey, Robert,
don't take this personally,

79
00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:07,857
but there's no way
I'm making small talk with you.

80
00:04:07,882 --> 00:04:10,323
Just quietly stare
at a candle or something.

81
00:04:10,356 --> 00:04:12,671
Hey... that Gabrielle.

82
00:04:14,656 --> 00:04:16,257
We sure got a type.

83
00:04:17,313 --> 00:04:20,198
Seeing them walk off together
now, I was just like,

84
00:04:20,223 --> 00:04:23,729
"I wouldn't mind being the
cream in that double espresso!"

85
00:04:26,523 --> 00:04:30,912
I've dabbled quite a bit in
the exotic arts, as they say.

86
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,155
God, please, no.

87
00:04:32,190 --> 00:04:33,599
So you're telling me
you're not upset

88
00:04:33,623 --> 00:04:35,166
that Archer didn't mention
that your first date

89
00:04:35,190 --> 00:04:37,323
was going to include
the mother of his child?

90
00:04:37,355 --> 00:04:39,050
After all he's been through,

91
00:04:39,075 --> 00:04:40,775
I'm sure it just
slipped his mind.

92
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,323
Or he's a lunatic.

93
00:04:42,355 --> 00:04:44,489
I mean, clearly he asked
you out because...

94
00:04:44,605 --> 00:04:46,690
- Well...
- Well, what?

95
00:04:46,722 --> 00:04:48,890
Come on,
he's trying to send a message

96
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:52,047
that he found a stand-in,
you know, for... for this.

97
00:04:52,072 --> 00:04:55,741
A stand-in?
Did you go to Yale too?

98
00:04:55,766 --> 00:04:57,795
No. I mean,
I'm sure I could have.

99
00:04:57,820 --> 00:04:59,557
But you have two PhDs, I bet.

100
00:04:59,582 --> 00:05:01,248
Well, no, not two.

101
00:05:01,273 --> 00:05:02,890
No, I have... I have...
I have just the one.

102
00:05:02,922 --> 00:05:05,345
I see, so you
don't mean "stand-in"

103
00:05:05,370 --> 00:05:07,547
as much as you mean "upgrade."

104
00:05:08,189 --> 00:05:09,234
Excuse me.

105
00:05:09,655 --> 00:05:10,866
- There! There you go!
- What are you doing?

106
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,155
Now you're all wet.

107
00:05:12,189 --> 00:05:13,723
Isn't that what you wanted?

108
00:05:14,222 --> 00:05:18,089
And sure enough, we made love
right there in the jazz club.

109
00:05:18,114 --> 00:05:20,462
And to this day,
I can't even hear

110
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,987
a muted trumpet
without getting erect!

111
00:05:24,576 --> 00:05:25,908
What a great story, Robert.

112
00:05:25,933 --> 00:05:28,455
I just wish it could've been
louder and grosser.

113
00:05:28,489 --> 00:05:31,495
Kyle! Do us a favor and put
our food in, would ya?

114
00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:33,126
Absolutely.
What would you like?

115
00:05:33,151 --> 00:05:34,855
You order for us, Kyle.

116
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:38,890
I'm talkin' apps, entrées...
The whole nine yards.

117
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,902
You're trusting Kyle
to pick our food?

118
00:05:40,927 --> 00:05:42,730
The entirety
of his life's decisions

119
00:05:42,755 --> 00:05:45,327
have led him to this job
and that haircut.

120
00:05:45,352 --> 00:05:46,524
No offense, Kyle.

121
00:05:46,891 --> 00:05:50,179
Hey, there they are, the two
prettiest ladies in the joint.

122
00:05:50,204 --> 00:05:53,249
Or more specifically,
a clear number one

123
00:05:53,274 --> 00:05:55,453
and a not-as-well-read,
big-boned runner-up.

124
00:05:55,478 --> 00:05:57,959
You know what?
Let me ask you a question.

125
00:05:57,984 --> 00:05:59,722
What the hell are you doing?

126
00:05:59,756 --> 00:06:02,702
You're supposed to be
staking out Victor Cherenenko.

127
00:06:02,727 --> 00:06:05,318
Will you two be
joining the table?

128
00:06:05,343 --> 00:06:06,212
- No, definitely not.
- We were just leaving.

129
00:06:06,237 --> 00:06:08,813
- Sure. - Gabrielle, you could
scooch in next to me.

130
00:06:09,626 --> 00:06:11,195
Ooh, who's Victor Cherenenko?

131
00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:14,487
Russian hacker, one of
Interpol's most wanted, Gabrielle.

132
00:06:14,512 --> 00:06:15,768
Huge reward out for him.

133
00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:18,198
And I am the one responsible...

134
00:06:18,223 --> 00:06:21,081
Actually,
I'm in charge of the mission.

135
00:06:21,106 --> 00:06:22,635
How are you? Cyril Figgis.

136
00:06:22,660 --> 00:06:23,793
Calm down, Cyril.

137
00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:26,606
You're getting desperation
all over my hot scientist.

138
00:06:26,631 --> 00:06:29,192
I probably shouldn't be
showing you this.

139
00:06:29,217 --> 00:06:31,630
You look like someone
who can be trusted.

140
00:06:31,655 --> 00:06:34,044
See, for years, no one has
been able to find this guy,

141
00:06:34,069 --> 00:06:36,190
but recently he's been
popping his head up in public.

142
00:06:36,222 --> 00:06:38,485
So as team leader,
I took it upon myself

143
00:06:38,510 --> 00:06:41,680
to synthesize data from his
financial records, and ta-da.

144
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:43,297
You were able to produce
that wet diaper

145
00:06:43,322 --> 00:06:44,756
of a worthless dossier.

146
00:06:44,789 --> 00:06:47,371
The thing says Cherenenko
is a regular at this place,

147
00:06:47,396 --> 00:06:48,378
and yet...

148
00:06:48,403 --> 00:06:50,496
Hey, isn't that him?
Cherenenko?

149
00:06:50,521 --> 00:06:52,864
You see that, Archer?
I was right.

150
00:06:52,976 --> 00:06:54,410
He's here after all.

151
00:06:54,435 --> 00:06:56,183
I mean, it doesn't
take that much

152
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:57,289
to look at a credit card
statement

153
00:06:57,323 --> 00:07:00,177
and see that guy comes
to a restaurant a lot

154
00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:01,935
and that... God damn it, Archer!

155
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,771
Wow, this is so exciting!

156
00:07:03,796 --> 00:07:05,949
So what do we do now?
Like, go detain him?

157
00:07:06,637 --> 00:07:07,307
Man.

158
00:07:07,332 --> 00:07:08,925
Guess they don't
teach you everything

159
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,084
in neurobiology school.

160
00:07:10,109 --> 00:07:12,084
Well, no, obviously not.

161
00:07:12,109 --> 00:07:14,818
As much as I love
taking advice on spycraft

162
00:07:14,843 --> 00:07:17,646
from civilians,
you can't just go up and detain

163
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,689
a guy with an armed bodyguard
protecting him.

164
00:07:19,714 --> 00:07:20,651
Lana's right.

165
00:07:20,676 --> 00:07:22,669
Even if we took
the bodyguard out,

166
00:07:22,694 --> 00:07:25,323
we'd have 50 Russian goons
on our doorstep

167
00:07:25,355 --> 00:07:26,701
looking for blood
in the morning.

168
00:07:26,726 --> 00:07:28,122
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

169
00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:29,865
So the plan is, we go over...

170
00:07:29,890 --> 00:07:32,505
Excuse me,
I'm in charge, and as such,

171
00:07:32,530 --> 00:07:35,311
I have constructed
our apprehension strategy.

172
00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:37,758
Okay, we wait for him to leave,
and we tail him.

173
00:07:37,783 --> 00:07:38,966
Then we find an opportunity

174
00:07:38,991 --> 00:07:40,825
to separate him
from his bodyguard,

175
00:07:40,850 --> 00:07:43,354
lure him somewhere quiet,
and bring him down.

176
00:07:43,486 --> 00:07:46,174
Voilà. A classic Figgis.

177
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,697
I thought a classic Figgis
was when you get

178
00:07:48,722 --> 00:07:50,806
your genitals caught in
the zipper of a sleeping bag.

179
00:07:50,831 --> 00:07:52,680
You know very well
that wasn't user error.

180
00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:54,614
There was a factory recall!

181
00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:56,183
I'm going to the men's room
real quick.

182
00:07:56,208 --> 00:07:58,008
Don't do anything without me.

183
00:07:59,322 --> 00:08:02,851
So, Gabrielle,
how do you feel about jazz?

184
00:08:04,390 --> 00:08:06,248
And how are you
this evening, sir?

185
00:08:06,273 --> 00:08:07,855
Very well, thank you.

186
00:08:08,125 --> 00:08:09,717
I actually just had a,

187
00:08:09,742 --> 00:08:11,389
pretty big professional victory.

188
00:08:11,414 --> 00:08:12,693
That is wonderful, sir.

189
00:08:12,718 --> 00:08:14,451
Thanks. You know that feeling
when you take

190
00:08:14,476 --> 00:08:17,022
a big step forward at work
and people notice?

191
00:08:17,047 --> 00:08:19,617
Yes, sir. Very magical, sir.

192
00:08:19,898 --> 00:08:22,665
I left my wallet in my jacket,

193
00:08:22,690 --> 00:08:23,794
and I'll just...

194
00:08:23,819 --> 00:08:25,686
Good call. I'm on a diet.

195
00:08:29,189 --> 00:08:31,566
May I offer you a towel?

196
00:08:31,591 --> 00:08:33,287
Hey, excuse me, sir...

197
00:08:45,941 --> 00:08:48,677
Ooh, he's really
giving it to her.

198
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,049
They're leaving.

199
00:08:51,074 --> 00:08:53,471
Perfect, when they get
outside, we follow them.

200
00:08:53,496 --> 00:08:55,666
Gabrielle,
I'm sorry to tell you,

201
00:08:55,691 --> 00:08:57,791
but you're about
to dive headfirst

202
00:08:57,816 --> 00:09:00,478
into a high-speed chase,
so buckle up.

203
00:09:00,503 --> 00:09:02,180
Shouldn't we just
leave her here?

204
00:09:02,205 --> 00:09:04,173
No, Lana,
I'm sorry you're threatened

205
00:09:04,198 --> 00:09:07,083
because Gabrielle is so smart
and accomplished and...

206
00:09:07,108 --> 00:09:09,716
- Hot.
- Thank you, horny new guy.

207
00:09:09,741 --> 00:09:12,162
We are not ditching her.
Here, put this on, Gabrielle.

208
00:09:12,187 --> 00:09:13,682
I wouldn't want you
to catch cold.

209
00:09:13,707 --> 00:09:16,326
You should, put this on to,

210
00:09:16,642 --> 00:09:19,072
cover up your hideous...

211
00:09:19,509 --> 00:09:20,590
elbows.

212
00:09:20,905 --> 00:09:22,876
Ya had trouble finding
something, didn't ya?

213
00:09:22,901 --> 00:09:24,177
Shut up, Lana!

214
00:09:28,826 --> 00:09:29,959
Hold on.

215
00:09:32,523 --> 00:09:34,456
All right, go!
Everybody into my car.

216
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:35,590
Good news.

217
00:09:35,622 --> 00:09:37,490
The bodyguard is now locked

218
00:09:37,523 --> 00:09:40,064
in a bathroom supply... closet.

219
00:09:41,655 --> 00:09:43,155
It's my mission.

220
00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:45,667
Okay, so here we have
the first courses,

221
00:09:45,692 --> 00:09:47,301
fried lobster in puff pastry

222
00:09:47,326 --> 00:09:49,226
over four-cheese grits.

223
00:09:52,710 --> 00:09:54,317
All right, Gabrielle,

224
00:09:54,342 --> 00:09:56,679
get ready
for the ride of your...

225
00:10:00,062 --> 00:10:01,193
Life.

226
00:10:01,827 --> 00:10:02,974
What did he just say?

227
00:10:02,999 --> 00:10:04,614
Life, Robert! He said life!

228
00:10:04,639 --> 00:10:06,421
He was finishing a thought
from before!

229
00:10:07,287 --> 00:10:08,184
Archer!

230
00:10:08,553 --> 00:10:09,590
I'm sorry.

231
00:10:09,622 --> 00:10:11,421
He did a "what did he just say?"

232
00:10:11,446 --> 00:10:13,677
He's doing all the top ten
old-guy hits,

233
00:10:13,702 --> 00:10:15,202
coast-to-coast!

234
00:10:21,023 --> 00:10:22,312
This is what happens

235
00:10:22,337 --> 00:10:25,209
when you give bicyclists
their own lane.

236
00:10:25,234 --> 00:10:27,662
What's next,
a lane for vegetarians?

237
00:10:27,687 --> 00:10:28,823
Sorry, Gabrielle.

238
00:10:28,856 --> 00:10:30,423
It's usually a little
chasier than this.

239
00:10:30,456 --> 00:10:32,203
No, don't apologize.

240
00:10:32,228 --> 00:10:33,899
This is a great opportunity
for me to get to know

241
00:10:33,923 --> 00:10:35,590
your friends just
a little bit better.

242
00:10:35,622 --> 00:10:37,890
All right, I'll start.
This one's for anybody.

243
00:10:37,923 --> 00:10:40,622
Who's ever met
a potential love interest

244
00:10:40,655 --> 00:10:44,419
over the unconscious body
of their child's father?

245
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:47,323
- My God. This again?
- This again, what?

246
00:10:47,348 --> 00:10:49,408
Well, you got shot
by a murder suspect

247
00:10:49,433 --> 00:10:50,849
you were supposed
to be investigating

248
00:10:50,874 --> 00:10:53,841
but instead were having
sex with who, by the way,

249
00:10:53,866 --> 00:10:56,134
after shooting you, got away!

250
00:10:57,523 --> 00:11:00,689
Hey, look what we got
going on back here.

251
00:11:00,714 --> 00:11:03,417
I feel like the cream
inside of an Ore...

252
00:11:03,442 --> 00:11:05,622
Do not finish that sentence.

253
00:11:08,172 --> 00:11:09,524
Hey, Kyle.

254
00:11:09,549 --> 00:11:11,831
Would you mind parking
the dessert cart over here?

255
00:11:11,856 --> 00:11:13,881
And you might want to throw
the emergency brake on,

256
00:11:13,906 --> 00:11:16,823
because I have a feeling things
could go sideways pretty fast.

257
00:11:16,856 --> 00:11:19,932
Actually, sir, some diners
have been complaining

258
00:11:19,957 --> 00:11:23,603
that your constant crying and
chewing is bumming them out.

259
00:11:23,628 --> 00:11:24,823
If you wouldn't mind...

260
00:11:25,527 --> 00:11:27,410
They didn't leave a credit card?

261
00:11:27,863 --> 00:11:29,053
Jeezy Petes!

262
00:11:29,078 --> 00:11:32,467
I had a serving of bone marrow,
not a goddamn transplant.

263
00:11:33,498 --> 00:11:34,685
All right, I...

264
00:11:35,013 --> 00:11:36,622
Hey! My jacket's gone!

265
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,558
Listen, Kyle,
my wallet was in my jacket,

266
00:11:39,583 --> 00:11:41,433
and it appears my friends
must've grabbed it.

267
00:11:41,458 --> 00:11:42,739
So I'm gonna have to...

268
00:11:43,099 --> 00:11:44,699
To have someone come down

269
00:11:44,724 --> 00:11:46,574
and meet me here
with a credit card.

270
00:11:46,599 --> 00:11:47,722
There you go.

271
00:11:52,122 --> 00:11:55,755
Don't spray that urine
on my son's window.

272
00:11:55,789 --> 00:11:58,944
If you want a dollar for doing
nothing, walk to Canada.

273
00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:01,522
What are you even doing
on this mission to begin with?

274
00:12:01,547 --> 00:12:02,999
Cyril needed me.

275
00:12:03,024 --> 00:12:04,863
It would've looked weird
for him to be sitting

276
00:12:04,888 --> 00:12:06,689
at that restaurant all alone.

277
00:12:06,714 --> 00:12:07,912
Who were you supposed to be?

278
00:12:07,937 --> 00:12:09,729
His date, obviously.

279
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,755
Excuse me,
it's not that crazy at all

280
00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:15,373
that these two
would be together.

281
00:12:15,398 --> 00:12:18,233
Not much further apart in age
than Lana and I are.

282
00:12:18,258 --> 00:12:20,514
- Self-burn.
- Plus, she's beautiful

283
00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:21,827
and successful.

284
00:12:21,852 --> 00:12:23,720
You know who you
remind me of, Malory?

285
00:12:23,745 --> 00:12:24,890
My ex-wife.

286
00:12:24,915 --> 00:12:27,830
Malory reminds you of Linda?
The supermodel?

287
00:12:27,855 --> 00:12:29,361
No, no, no, no, no, no.

288
00:12:29,386 --> 00:12:31,800
I'm talking about Zelda,
my first ex-wife.

289
00:12:31,825 --> 00:12:34,230
- Linda was my third ex-wife.
- Your what?

290
00:12:34,255 --> 00:12:36,214
Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.

291
00:12:36,239 --> 00:12:39,257
I think the phrase you're
looking for is "gulp."

292
00:12:43,249 --> 00:12:45,615
What's wrong
with your face, Krieger?

293
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,726
Yeah. Did you rack your nuts
on your proton pack?

294
00:12:51,265 --> 00:12:53,371
Mitsuko and I
got into an argument.

295
00:12:53,396 --> 00:12:56,322
She said she thinks maybe her
feelings are changing about us.

296
00:12:56,347 --> 00:12:57,932
Let me tell you
something everyone hears

297
00:12:57,957 --> 00:12:59,346
at some point in their lives:

298
00:12:59,371 --> 00:13:01,604
that anime hologram's
just not that into you.

299
00:13:01,629 --> 00:13:03,957
No! It's probably
just a phase, right?

300
00:13:05,222 --> 00:13:05,947
Yello?

301
00:13:05,972 --> 00:13:07,550
Pam! Listen!

302
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:10,158
I need you to come to L'Orange.

303
00:13:10,183 --> 00:13:12,167
Archer stuck me with a huge tab,

304
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,423
then left with my coat
which had my wallet in it,

305
00:13:14,456 --> 00:13:17,065
and there's a menacing busboy
who won't stop staring at me.

306
00:13:17,090 --> 00:13:19,268
And you want me
to come over there

307
00:13:19,293 --> 00:13:21,456
and blow a busboy so he'll
forget about your dinner tab.

308
00:13:21,481 --> 00:13:24,597
What? No,
come with money to pay the tab.

309
00:13:25,535 --> 00:13:26,533
Lame.

310
00:13:26,558 --> 00:13:28,041
Okay, let me get this straight.

311
00:13:28,066 --> 00:13:31,499
You've been married four times
and it never occurred to you

312
00:13:31,524 --> 00:13:33,882
to share that information
with your wife?

313
00:13:33,907 --> 00:13:35,390
It's personal, dear.

314
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,702
I didn't ask you how many times
you'd been married.

315
00:13:37,727 --> 00:13:40,332
Zero! I'd been married zero times!

316
00:13:40,357 --> 00:13:42,352
Well, now I see why.

317
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:45,507
Who were they?

318
00:13:45,532 --> 00:13:47,093
Linda, of course.

319
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:49,788
Then Hafsa, she was a gift
from the Saudi crown.

320
00:13:49,813 --> 00:13:52,523
Would've been rude to say no.
And then Zelda.

321
00:13:52,548 --> 00:13:55,956
We didn't technically divorce.
I lost her on safari.

322
00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:58,670
My God, this guy's on fire.

323
00:13:58,695 --> 00:14:01,045
I'm not sure if it's
a big deal, but...

324
00:14:01,070 --> 00:14:03,287
that guy you're following,
he just got out of that cab.

325
00:14:03,312 --> 00:14:05,365
Damn it, he's getting away!
Follow him!

326
00:14:05,390 --> 00:14:06,279
I can't, Mother!

327
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,490
What do you want me to do,

328
00:14:07,523 --> 00:14:09,838
just leave the car here
in the middle of 5th Ave?

329
00:14:10,866 --> 00:14:12,319
Yes, big smiles.

330
00:14:12,344 --> 00:14:15,282
I, too, would be excited
if I were about to overdose

331
00:14:15,307 --> 00:14:17,932
somewhere in a hollowed-out
box spring.

332
00:14:18,096 --> 00:14:19,622
You know, I've always thought

333
00:14:19,655 --> 00:14:22,786
that busboys were the backbone
of the restaurant industry.

334
00:14:22,811 --> 00:14:27,218
- I'm a woman.
- And a beautiful one at that.

335
00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:31,349
- There you are!
- You look like shit, dude.

336
00:14:31,374 --> 00:14:32,286
Have you been crying?

337
00:14:32,311 --> 00:14:34,612
Crying? No.

338
00:14:34,637 --> 00:14:35,612
Yes!

339
00:14:35,971 --> 00:14:38,150
Okay, Cyril.

340
00:14:38,175 --> 00:14:40,440
Come on, let's get out of here.

341
00:14:40,905 --> 00:14:42,434
Right, the tab...

342
00:14:42,459 --> 00:14:44,795
Cyril, don't worry
about the tab.

343
00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:46,176
I got this.

344
00:14:46,201 --> 00:14:48,962
This waiter
just touched my breasts!

345
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:51,488
What?

346
00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:54,770
Again, I just can't put into
words how mortified I am.

347
00:14:54,795 --> 00:14:56,174
Well, you should be mortified.

348
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:58,161
I know my breasts certainly are.

349
00:14:58,186 --> 00:14:59,515
Right, ladies?

350
00:14:59,540 --> 00:15:00,698
Hey, hot shot,

351
00:15:00,723 --> 00:15:02,973
call me if you ever want
to have your world rocked.

352
00:15:04,005 --> 00:15:07,339
- You voted libertarian?
- Sure, twice.

353
00:15:07,364 --> 00:15:10,089
Hey, I know seat belts
save lives,

354
00:15:10,114 --> 00:15:13,231
but who is the government
to require me to wear one?

355
00:15:13,256 --> 00:15:14,565
Is there anything else
you haven't told me?

356
00:15:14,589 --> 00:15:16,122
- No.
- In my experience,

357
00:15:16,155 --> 00:15:18,910
you have to ask
exploratory questions, like...

358
00:15:18,935 --> 00:15:20,890
Robert, have you
ever done anything

359
00:15:20,923 --> 00:15:22,990
that you're deeply sad about?

360
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:26,432
I mean, I guess if I had
to pick one thing...

361
00:15:26,950 --> 00:15:29,564
gosh, it'd be the dogs.

362
00:15:29,589 --> 00:15:30,487
The dogs?

363
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:33,955
I've had 11 dogs die on me.

364
00:15:33,990 --> 00:15:36,493
11? How is that possible?

365
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:40,022
Well, you know, there's just
a huge language barrier.

366
00:15:40,055 --> 00:15:42,555
My God, what
the hell is wrong with you?

367
00:15:42,719 --> 00:15:44,155
What beautiful architecture

368
00:15:44,189 --> 00:15:47,187
they have here
in New York City, New York,

369
00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:49,856
where we are visiting
as tourists.

370
00:15:52,867 --> 00:15:54,898
Jesus Christ,
Lana, will you quit fighting

371
00:15:54,923 --> 00:15:56,531
with your husband
before you give us away?

372
00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:58,180
We wouldn't
be in a fight if you hadn't

373
00:15:58,205 --> 00:16:00,123
set up this stupid double date
in the first place.

374
00:16:00,148 --> 00:16:01,290
Boy howdy.

375
00:16:01,323 --> 00:16:02,856
I sure hope someday
we get these kind

376
00:16:02,890 --> 00:16:06,159
of tall buildings back
at home in... Arizona.

377
00:16:06,184 --> 00:16:07,882
Shit, he's heading to the park.

378
00:16:13,829 --> 00:16:15,667
Follow that horse!
And step on it!

379
00:16:17,526 --> 00:16:19,563
You there, follow that cab!

380
00:16:19,588 --> 00:16:22,390
- On a break.
- Let me try.

381
00:16:22,423 --> 00:16:26,155
Well, I can see why they
call it a hansom cab.

382
00:16:26,189 --> 00:16:28,606
You sure are
the best-looking son of a gun

383
00:16:28,631 --> 00:16:30,324
I've seen all night.

384
00:16:30,349 --> 00:16:31,823
Is that a fact?

385
00:16:32,639 --> 00:16:34,297
I was talking to the horse.

386
00:16:34,407 --> 00:16:36,340
I figured he ran the business.

387
00:16:38,324 --> 00:16:40,028
Gosh, that's good.

388
00:16:46,522 --> 00:16:48,390
They seem to be in love.

389
00:16:48,423 --> 00:16:50,708
Wonder whose still-breathing
body they met over.

390
00:16:50,733 --> 00:16:52,990
My God, you are
absolutely cracked in the head.

391
00:16:53,022 --> 00:16:55,733
We weren't even together when
you went into a coma, okay?

392
00:16:55,758 --> 00:16:57,758
You were banging
some old broad who then,

393
00:16:57,783 --> 00:16:59,830
God bless her soul, shot you.

394
00:16:59,855 --> 00:17:02,430
Better to be shot
than stabbed in the back, Lana.

395
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,856
I'm surprised this isn't
something you've mentioned

396
00:17:04,889 --> 00:17:07,830
about your time in a coma
if it bothers you so much.

397
00:17:07,855 --> 00:17:09,035
It doesn't.

398
00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:10,889
Why do you even care
that I'm with Robert?

399
00:17:10,923 --> 00:17:12,290
- I don't!
- It was clear that you

400
00:17:12,321 --> 00:17:13,782
were never going
to commit to me.

401
00:17:13,807 --> 00:17:14,806
You don't know that!

402
00:17:14,831 --> 00:17:17,155
So if Lana hadn't met Robert...

403
00:17:17,190 --> 00:17:19,368
Over my still
very much alive body

404
00:17:19,393 --> 00:17:20,594
with a functioning sex organ,

405
00:17:20,619 --> 00:17:22,797
as I imagine was included
in my records.

406
00:17:22,822 --> 00:17:24,971
Then you would've wanted
to be together?

407
00:17:25,846 --> 00:17:26,856
Excuse me!

408
00:17:26,889 --> 00:17:28,034
Whose ass do I have to kiss

409
00:17:28,059 --> 00:17:29,755
to get more hot cocoa back here?

410
00:17:31,022 --> 00:17:32,356
Coney Island?

411
00:17:32,381 --> 00:17:34,624
Look, I appreciate you guys
bringing me here

412
00:17:34,649 --> 00:17:36,614
to cheer me up,
but I'm a grown man.

413
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:37,978
Cheer you up?

414
00:17:38,003 --> 00:17:40,695
A waiter just touched
my breasts, asshole.

415
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,238
If you're in need
of some cheering up,

416
00:17:42,263 --> 00:17:44,595
this is the place. Come on.

417
00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,752
Whoa, look! Wacky mirrors!

418
00:17:52,683 --> 00:17:53,567
Driver!

419
00:17:53,592 --> 00:17:55,326
Now we're going too fast!

420
00:17:55,351 --> 00:17:57,503
We're trying to follow
that horse in front of us,

421
00:17:57,528 --> 00:17:58,746
not inseminate it.

422
00:17:58,771 --> 00:18:01,189
I remember when the park
was a place you'd come

423
00:18:01,223 --> 00:18:03,153
to get away from
the hustle and bustle.

424
00:18:03,178 --> 00:18:06,423
Me too. I had an aunt
who'd take me here.

425
00:18:06,448 --> 00:18:08,291
We'd sit on a park bench
for hours,

426
00:18:08,316 --> 00:18:11,487
just chatting and throwing
lit matches at the pigeons.

427
00:18:11,512 --> 00:18:13,667
My friends and I would feed
the pigeons Alka-Seltzer,

428
00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:15,392
watch them explode!

429
00:18:16,978 --> 00:18:17,970
Yeah!

430
00:18:18,567 --> 00:18:20,567
Slow the hell down!

431
00:18:20,622 --> 00:18:23,400
Come on, buddy,
what's got you so down?

432
00:18:23,425 --> 00:18:26,416
- You can talk to ol' Pam.
- It's... Archer.

433
00:18:26,441 --> 00:18:28,042
And what about him?

434
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,839
I hate him!

435
00:18:30,282 --> 00:18:32,457
I hate his stupid face!

436
00:18:32,614 --> 00:18:34,175
And his stupid car!

437
00:18:34,294 --> 00:18:35,933
And his stupid coma cane!

438
00:18:35,958 --> 00:18:37,092
And his stupid...

439
00:18:37,228 --> 00:18:39,694
Doesn't give me
the respect I deserve!

440
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:42,129
How hard is it
for you to acknowledge

441
00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:44,543
the good shape
I've gotten in?

442
00:18:45,087 --> 00:18:47,385
How much I've improved
as a field agent?

443
00:18:47,821 --> 00:18:51,233
I learned Mandarin,
for Christ's sake!

444
00:18:51,258 --> 00:18:53,730
I hate you, Sterling Archer!

445
00:18:53,755 --> 00:18:55,988
I hate you
and everything you've done

446
00:18:56,013 --> 00:18:57,689
to make me feel this... agh!

447
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:02,122
Cyril,
I see the job you're doing.

448
00:19:02,156 --> 00:19:04,720
You've been knocking it out
of the park as a field agent.

449
00:19:04,745 --> 00:19:06,590
- Really?
- Really.

450
00:19:06,622 --> 00:19:08,356
When I thought Archer was dead,

451
00:19:08,389 --> 00:19:11,668
I literally said, "Well,
at least we still got Cyril."

452
00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:12,622
You did?

453
00:19:12,656 --> 00:19:13,755
Sure.

454
00:19:13,790 --> 00:19:15,676
I need the agency
to stay afloat.

455
00:19:15,701 --> 00:19:16,856
I can't get another job.

456
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:19,948
I have, like,
a shit-ton of felonies.

457
00:19:20,471 --> 00:19:21,697
Thanks, Pam.

458
00:19:25,929 --> 00:19:28,331
Then why did you set
this double date up, Archer?

459
00:19:28,356 --> 00:19:30,790
Seriously, out of all the women
you could've asked out...

460
00:19:30,815 --> 00:19:32,723
Of which there are
literally billions.

461
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:34,831
- Proving her point.
- Damn it.

462
00:19:34,856 --> 00:19:38,255
You chose one that kinda,
well, is my doppelganger?

463
00:19:38,290 --> 00:19:40,255
Yeah, why is that, Archer?

464
00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:41,465
If you two are through playing

465
00:19:41,490 --> 00:19:43,661
amateur neuropsychobiologist,

466
00:19:43,686 --> 00:19:46,082
our Russian is headed
for the subway.

467
00:19:50,149 --> 00:19:52,117
Archer, I'll come at them
from around the back.

468
00:19:52,142 --> 00:19:53,730
You approach them
from the left flank.

469
00:19:53,755 --> 00:19:54,920
I almost hate to do it.

470
00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:57,290
Those two look
really happy together.

471
00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:59,790
Yeah. It's nice to be
in love with someone.

472
00:19:59,815 --> 00:20:01,190
You should try it.

473
00:20:01,622 --> 00:20:03,689
Well, if it means being as happy

474
00:20:03,723 --> 00:20:07,189
as that Russian hacker and his
girlfriend, I actually...

475
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,339
God damn it.

476
00:20:09,649 --> 00:20:10,656
No!

477
00:20:12,924 --> 00:20:15,440
Ew. Should we call the police?

478
00:20:15,621 --> 00:20:16,754
Meh.

479
00:20:20,322 --> 00:20:22,996
So, Gabrielle, this is
usually the part of the date

480
00:20:23,021 --> 00:20:25,215
when we head back
to my place for great sex.

481
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,837
Archer, look, you seem
like a really nice guy...

482
00:20:28,862 --> 00:20:30,394
- Ha!
- Shut up, Lana.

483
00:20:30,419 --> 00:20:31,865
You were saying? Nice guy.

484
00:20:31,890 --> 00:20:34,070
Fully functioning sex organ.
Go on.

485
00:20:34,095 --> 00:20:37,061
But it's clear you still
have feelings for Lana.

486
00:20:37,086 --> 00:20:39,156
Wait, me? For her?

487
00:20:39,189 --> 00:20:42,255
Wh-why would I want Lana
when I could have you?

488
00:20:42,290 --> 00:20:45,822
A totally different
noncomparable unique person

489
00:20:45,856 --> 00:20:49,730
who... shouldn't be exploited
for personal vendettas, sorry.

490
00:20:49,755 --> 00:20:53,198
Yeah, that part.
It was nice to meet ya, Lana.

491
00:20:53,223 --> 00:20:55,455
Maybe we could
get together sometime.

492
00:20:55,490 --> 00:20:57,189
You know what?
I actually would not mind

493
00:20:57,230 --> 00:20:58,530
hanging out with you again.

494
00:20:58,555 --> 00:20:59,794
Hey, wait, Gabrielle.

495
00:20:59,819 --> 00:21:01,455
But... sex time.

496
00:21:01,490 --> 00:21:02,755
Gabrielle!

497
00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:06,873
Aw, you liked her, didn't you?

498
00:21:06,946 --> 00:21:07,827
I don't know.

499
00:21:07,852 --> 00:21:09,889
But you didn't realize it
till just now?

500
00:21:09,923 --> 00:21:11,223
Maybe.

501
00:21:11,255 --> 00:21:12,723
I mean, I thought she was great.

502
00:21:12,755 --> 00:21:16,156
- Whatever.
- I mean, smart, charming.

503
00:21:16,189 --> 00:21:17,723
And those cans, am I right?

504
00:21:17,755 --> 00:21:20,223
Yeah, they looked
pretty squeezy.

505
00:21:20,255 --> 00:21:21,865
Thinking maybe instead
of asking her out

506
00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:23,365
to make me jealous,
you should've just

507
00:21:23,389 --> 00:21:25,656
asked her out
because she's awesome.

508
00:21:32,431 --> 00:21:34,804
Honey, I'm home.

509
00:21:34,829 --> 00:21:36,590
You know
what I'd do if I were you?

510
00:21:36,622 --> 00:21:38,741
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
this is my favorite part!

511
00:21:38,766 --> 00:21:40,165
Mine too!

512
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:43,553
Fill my boots with lead
and jump in the ocean,

513
00:21:43,578 --> 00:21:45,837
you pig-nosed gypsy!

514
00:21:47,197 --> 00:21:48,535
Gosh, that's good.

515
00:21:49,025 --> 00:21:50,330
Fantastic.

516
00:21:52,115 --> 00:21:59,045
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