1 00:00:00,700 --> 00:00:03,920 - Did they tell you how long? - Six months. At most. 2 00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:05,880 - Probably. - And where is Maya? 3 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,280 I told ya I was seeing Kat tonight. 4 00:00:07,281 --> 00:00:09,280 - Well, you can't be here. I'm busy. - Handyman? 5 00:00:09,281 --> 00:00:13,400 I wanted sex. It's just not worth all the... 6 00:00:13,401 --> 00:00:14,560 Sorry. 7 00:00:14,561 --> 00:00:17,080 I've been driven out of my flat, and I know that if I stay here, 8 00:00:17,081 --> 00:00:18,920 I am going to drink some of that wine. 9 00:00:18,921 --> 00:00:22,880 20 years ago, I had an affair...with Helen, 10 00:00:22,881 --> 00:00:25,680 and I thought, "What good would it do to tell you?" 11 00:00:25,681 --> 00:00:28,480 You haven't noticed the ring, have you? Just step back completely, 12 00:00:28,481 --> 00:00:30,840 and when you do, I'll persuade Hannah it's for the best, 13 00:00:30,841 --> 00:00:32,680 get her to make no more demands on you ever. 14 00:00:32,681 --> 00:00:34,640 - I'm her dad. - Mate, she's got a dad. 15 00:00:34,641 --> 00:00:36,400 - This is Gaby. - I'm his girlfriend. 16 00:00:36,401 --> 00:00:37,720 Right! 17 00:00:37,721 --> 00:00:40,360 Don't fall off the wagon, because Maya needs you. 18 00:00:40,361 --> 00:00:42,960 I can't imagine what problem your wife has with me, but... 19 00:00:42,961 --> 00:00:45,960 - She's dead. - I beg your pardon? 20 00:00:45,961 --> 00:00:48,480 Someone told me about your wife. I'm sorry. 21 00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:51,000 Everyone makes mistakes. Right? 22 00:00:51,001 --> 00:00:52,600 We should go out. 23 00:00:52,601 --> 00:00:55,280 Give it a go, like exposure therapy. 24 00:00:55,281 --> 00:00:57,400 You're my student. 25 00:00:57,401 --> 00:00:59,520 Yeah, I know. I mean as a mate. 26 00:00:59,521 --> 00:01:03,080 I deserve some love, some kindness. 27 00:01:03,081 --> 00:01:04,720 We love each other! 28 00:01:04,721 --> 00:01:05,960 Don't we? 29 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,240 I don't know if I do any more. 30 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,120 I don't know if I do. 31 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,800 You don't love me? 32 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,240 - Because of Helen? - No. 33 00:01:31,241 --> 00:01:33,120 It was a long time ago, and I didn't tell you 34 00:01:33,121 --> 00:01:34,800 because it meant nothing! 35 00:01:34,801 --> 00:01:36,560 - I was trying to protect you... - Stop it. 36 00:01:36,561 --> 00:01:39,080 I've never done anything like that before or since... 37 00:01:39,081 --> 00:01:41,560 - Henry, please listen to me. - and despite all that, 38 00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:42,720 all our time together, 39 00:01:42,721 --> 00:01:45,480 you've just now decided you don't love me any more?! 40 00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,400 - Look, I'm just trying to... - Interesting! 41 00:01:47,401 --> 00:01:48,800 Really interesting. 42 00:01:48,801 --> 00:01:52,240 Yes, it's hard for both of us, but we do love each other, 43 00:01:52,241 --> 00:01:53,680 and whatever happens, 44 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:56,480 we are going to do it together, all right?! 45 00:01:56,481 --> 00:02:01,240 That's exactly what I want, that we work through this together. 46 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,800 I don't want to hear it. 47 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:21,760 You can understand my difficulty. 48 00:02:21,761 --> 00:02:24,360 That's why I came to you. 49 00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:27,320 - It's a moral question. - Indeed. 50 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,200 I told him maybe I didn't love him any more, 51 00:02:32,201 --> 00:02:34,240 but he just stopped me talking. 52 00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:36,000 Said he didn't want to hear it. 53 00:02:36,001 --> 00:02:38,000 Just walked away. 54 00:02:38,001 --> 00:02:41,800 And given what's going on, maybe he's right. 55 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,000 Maybe it's selfish. 56 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:50,240 - Six months? - Apparently. 57 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:58,520 Maybe I should keep my feelings to myself, but I hoped, 58 00:02:58,521 --> 00:03:01,840 if we talked, that he'd understand, 59 00:03:01,841 --> 00:03:05,800 that we could work it out somehow and things could change. 60 00:03:05,801 --> 00:03:09,120 I conduct a lot of weddings here. 61 00:03:09,121 --> 00:03:14,080 I talk to the couples about the commitment they're making to each other. 62 00:03:14,081 --> 00:03:17,360 We discuss the qualities that might be important. 63 00:03:17,361 --> 00:03:20,960 Support, honesty, respect. 64 00:03:20,961 --> 00:03:24,280 We talk about the flexibility a lifetime together requires. 65 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:29,840 As we seek to live authentic lives, 66 00:03:29,841 --> 00:03:34,040 we must allow the space for authenticity in others. 67 00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:36,160 But it won't be perfect. 68 00:03:36,161 --> 00:03:38,320 Our lives are a process. 69 00:03:39,515 --> 00:03:41,815 KELLY THE PASSWORD IS INCORRECT. TRY AGAIN 70 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,680 Please...don't. 71 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:47,640 You try. 72 00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:48,920 Fail. 73 00:03:48,921 --> 00:03:50,640 Fail again. 74 00:03:50,641 --> 00:03:53,440 - THE PASSWORD IS INCORRECT. TRY AGAIN - Fail better. 75 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,480 People change. 76 00:03:55,481 --> 00:03:57,400 And grow. 77 00:03:57,401 --> 00:04:00,760 A good marriage will allow for that. 78 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,568 Maybe you could talk to him. 79 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:05,400 No. 80 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:10,280 I think that's something you have to do yourself. 81 00:04:10,281 --> 00:04:13,080 All he has to do is...listen. 82 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:15,920 Yes. 83 00:04:15,921 --> 00:04:17,120 Well... 84 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,860 - Thank you. - Of course. 85 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,190 Storm tonight. 86 00:04:29,214 --> 00:04:30,360 What? 87 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:32,920 On the weather forecast. 88 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,760 They said there'll be a storm. 89 00:04:38,084 --> 00:04:42,084 CREDITS 90 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,440 - I want to talk about Personal Independence Payment. -PIP? 91 00:05:24,441 --> 00:05:27,501 - Yes, PIP. I tried calling, but... - PIP isn't anything to do with me. 92 00:05:27,525 --> 00:05:28,780 Yeah, I know, but I thought... 93 00:05:28,781 --> 00:05:30,540 I agreed to meet about your benefits... 94 00:05:30,541 --> 00:05:33,240 Look, they said I needed an assessment, so I go all the way there 95 00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:35,760 to this room, in front of this man, who seems friendly, but... 96 00:05:35,761 --> 00:05:37,480 - There's nothing I can do. - Listen, 97 00:05:37,481 --> 00:05:39,800 I've put together all my medical notes, 98 00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:42,200 and I don't think he's even looked at them. 99 00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:45,860 Right? And I'm telling him about all the things that I can and can't do, 100 00:05:45,861 --> 00:05:49,140 and he makes me feel like I'm lying, but I'm not. I'm telling the truth 101 00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:52,500 about needing help with food and personal care and... 102 00:05:52,501 --> 00:05:55,020 And by the end of it, I've lost my money. 103 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,500 The money that I've had for years... 104 00:05:56,501 --> 00:05:58,500 - Criteria have changed. - I haven't changed! 105 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,546 - The criteria... - Actually, I have. 106 00:06:00,571 --> 00:06:03,170 Right? It's got worse. I get loads of bad days recently. 107 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,520 And I've got arthritis in my hand from using it too much, 108 00:06:05,521 --> 00:06:06,880 which gets worse and worse. 109 00:06:06,881 --> 00:06:09,960 So, yeah, the criteria have changed, and I want to know why. 110 00:06:09,961 --> 00:06:11,040 That's not my... 111 00:06:11,041 --> 00:06:13,360 It's those without any voice that have been hit 112 00:06:13,361 --> 00:06:14,720 by the brunt of austerity! 113 00:06:14,721 --> 00:06:17,588 - Poor people, disabled people... - Hannah, I think maybe that's enough... 114 00:06:17,612 --> 00:06:22,280 It hurts! It's not just my arm. 115 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:27,560 Right? It affects the whole side of my body. 116 00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:30,960 It affects the way I walk and the way I sleep. 117 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,360 I just need to speak to a human being. 118 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,560 I'm not begging. 119 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,880 That is my money that I'm entitled to, 120 00:06:44,881 --> 00:06:47,160 to allow me to live my life like anyone else... 121 00:06:47,161 --> 00:06:49,880 If you don't leave, I'll have to call someone. 122 00:06:58,120 --> 00:06:59,840 What are you doing? 123 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,360 Why didn't you back me up? 124 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,120 I didn't have a problem with the pencils. 125 00:07:10,121 --> 00:07:12,760 I'm being serious! You were on her side. 126 00:07:12,761 --> 00:07:16,040 A hand on my lap, trying to silence me! 127 00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:17,480 I just didn't think it would help. 128 00:07:17,481 --> 00:07:20,000 "Hannah, maybe that's enough." It's not nearly enough! 129 00:07:20,001 --> 00:07:22,240 This isn't activism, this is my life! 130 00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:24,720 We're getting married, and I need you to understand this, 131 00:07:24,721 --> 00:07:26,760 and more than that, I need you to share it with me. 132 00:07:26,761 --> 00:07:28,400 Right, you're not. 133 00:07:28,401 --> 00:07:32,160 I want passion and outrage, not embarrassment! 134 00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:33,600 It's not my fault. 135 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,320 Come on, let's just... 136 00:07:36,321 --> 00:07:37,837 Don't come home. 137 00:07:39,705 --> 00:07:40,783 What? 138 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,440 Stay at your parents'. 139 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,920 We haven't had any time apart since the baby arrived, 140 00:07:45,921 --> 00:07:48,760 and I used to get it, but now you're always around, for some reason. 141 00:07:48,761 --> 00:07:50,000 Paternity leave? 142 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,520 Are we OK? 143 00:07:53,521 --> 00:07:56,200 - You still want to...? - What? 144 00:07:56,201 --> 00:07:58,560 God, yes, Liam! I still want to get married. 145 00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,240 I just need some space, OK? 146 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,640 Just say yes! 147 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,960 - Two pillars. - What? 148 00:08:06,961 --> 00:08:08,720 It's what they say a good relationship is, 149 00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,840 two pillars holding up a roof, 150 00:08:10,841 --> 00:08:14,640 and if they're too far apart, the roof falls down... 151 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,640 but it's the same if they're too close together. 152 00:08:22,618 --> 00:08:23,802 Just say yes. 153 00:08:25,586 --> 00:08:26,920 Yes. 154 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,120 - Get what you needed? - Just extra clothes. 155 00:08:44,121 --> 00:08:46,960 So, it's my birthday tomorrow. 156 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:49,480 - I know. - I'll be 16. 157 00:08:49,481 --> 00:08:50,840 I'm aware of that. 158 00:08:50,841 --> 00:08:52,720 I thought I might have a party? 159 00:08:52,721 --> 00:08:54,920 - Here? - Yeah. 160 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,360 Right. 161 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:04,200 Well, firstly, well done for asking. 162 00:09:04,201 --> 00:09:06,200 - That's considerate. - Patronising. 163 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:11,000 But I'm afraid, since you arrived, 164 00:09:11,001 --> 00:09:14,880 I'm forever tidying this flat 165 00:09:14,881 --> 00:09:18,240 - and I don't want a bunch... - Wouldn't be a bunch. 166 00:09:18,241 --> 00:09:22,000 Maybe you wouldn't invite a bunch, but you put it on Insta-thing... 167 00:09:22,001 --> 00:09:24,840 Instagram. It's called Instagram. That's not a thing you can't know. 168 00:09:24,841 --> 00:09:26,920 You put it on there, anyone could turn up. 169 00:09:26,921 --> 00:09:28,960 My Instagram's private. 170 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,760 We'll do something else. 171 00:09:32,761 --> 00:09:33,880 Like what? 172 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,360 I don't know... A cake! 173 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:45,040 OK, I'll go out instead, then. Tonight. 174 00:09:45,041 --> 00:09:47,720 - Kat offered, so... - Out? 175 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,400 Yeah, you know what going out is, right? 176 00:09:49,401 --> 00:09:51,400 You've at least seen other people do it. 177 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,920 - You're not old enough. - That's my problem. 178 00:09:57,921 --> 00:10:01,160 If I really can't have a party, I've got no choice. 179 00:10:01,161 --> 00:10:02,280 Fine. 180 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:04,960 Go out. 181 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:07,920 Have fun. 182 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,760 Private medicine's a different world, isn't it? 183 00:10:22,761 --> 00:10:24,640 Yes, well, let's not get into all that. 184 00:10:24,641 --> 00:10:28,480 I have to pay the bills, and I'm not charging you. 185 00:10:28,481 --> 00:10:29,880 It's none of your business. 186 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:35,520 You know, when I told this man the bad news, 187 00:10:35,521 --> 00:10:37,960 his first thought was of you. 188 00:10:37,961 --> 00:10:40,160 He said, "What about Gail? 189 00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:43,320 "We won't tell Gail until we have all the facts. 190 00:10:43,321 --> 00:10:44,720 "Not fair otherwise." 191 00:10:44,721 --> 00:10:49,360 - But you have the facts now? - Gail, take it from me, 192 00:10:49,361 --> 00:10:52,440 I've never seen anyone handle it so well... 193 00:10:52,441 --> 00:10:55,040 Robert, stop being so damn sentimental and tell her what she 194 00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:58,360 - needs to know. - His spirit's not dimmed, then? 195 00:10:58,361 --> 00:11:00,840 Thought that might be a silver lining. 196 00:11:00,841 --> 00:11:03,920 Well, we'll need to gather how far it's spread. 197 00:11:03,921 --> 00:11:06,480 That will give us a sense of what treatment we should use 198 00:11:06,481 --> 00:11:08,440 going forward, and the prognosis... 199 00:11:08,441 --> 00:11:12,120 - Henry said six months. - Yes, it's not resectable, which 200 00:11:12,121 --> 00:11:15,080 means certain options are no longer possible. 201 00:11:15,081 --> 00:11:17,840 So, we'll be looking at a course of chemotherapy. 202 00:11:17,841 --> 00:11:21,160 - But it won't go into remission? - Unlikely. 203 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,280 Chemotherapy can be hard, of course, 204 00:11:25,281 --> 00:11:27,800 but, with luck, there will be a longer survival. 205 00:11:27,801 --> 00:11:29,400 A year maybe. 206 00:11:29,401 --> 00:11:34,600 And when it takes over, what happens then? 207 00:11:34,601 --> 00:11:36,520 Well, it depends... 208 00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:40,280 Vomiting, pain, weight loss, fatigue, depression. 209 00:11:40,281 --> 00:11:43,040 I'll become very weak indeed. 210 00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:44,960 We'll get someone in to help. 211 00:11:44,961 --> 00:11:47,520 I'm sure the children will do a bit. 212 00:11:47,521 --> 00:11:49,960 It doesn't need to all be down to you. 213 00:11:49,961 --> 00:11:54,440 - But most of it will be. - Well, yes, probably. 214 00:11:54,441 --> 00:11:56,200 But I mean... Well... 215 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:01,240 I mean, that's what we signed up for, isn't it? 216 00:12:01,241 --> 00:12:02,880 When we got married. 217 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,160 Sickness and health. 218 00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:08,440 Yes? 219 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:21,200 You don't know how lucky you are to have each other. 220 00:12:21,201 --> 00:12:25,560 Going through something like this, it...it's everything. 221 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:31,840 I suppose, essentially, it's about duplicity. 222 00:12:31,841 --> 00:12:35,040 Everybody is duplicitous for Shakespeare. 223 00:12:35,041 --> 00:12:40,520 Er, God or kings. Peasants. Men. Women. 224 00:12:40,521 --> 00:12:43,200 As the witches say in Macbeth, 225 00:12:43,201 --> 00:12:44,640 "Fair is foul, 226 00:12:44,641 --> 00:12:47,600 "and foul is fair." And that idea drives them... 227 00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:50,000 - Stop. - to commit the... 228 00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:51,040 Sorry? 229 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,000 We're going to finish there for today. 230 00:12:58,080 --> 00:12:59,240 Thank you. 231 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:02,800 10. 232 00:13:02,801 --> 00:13:04,480 11. 12. 233 00:13:04,481 --> 00:13:06,600 13. 14. 234 00:13:06,601 --> 00:13:08,560 15. 16. 235 00:13:08,561 --> 00:13:10,600 17. 18. 236 00:13:10,601 --> 00:13:12,840 19. 20. 237 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,360 Booked for half seven, but we'll start with cocktails. 238 00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:19,880 So, as soon as the kids are vaguely asleep 239 00:13:19,881 --> 00:13:23,280 and you're sure your man's not going to have a breakdown being on 240 00:13:23,281 --> 00:13:25,720 his own, get over there. 241 00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,720 Good session today. 242 00:13:27,721 --> 00:13:30,520 Yeah, you work us hard. That's why we're here! 243 00:13:30,521 --> 00:13:33,360 You, um... You going out tonight? 244 00:13:33,361 --> 00:13:35,240 Yeah. 245 00:13:35,241 --> 00:13:38,640 - Dinner, drinks... - Cos I've got a spare night tonight. 246 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,830 Perhaps... Could I come along? 247 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:44,400 Of course! 248 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:46,080 We'd love that! 249 00:13:46,081 --> 00:13:49,880 - It's Gallini's at seven. - All right, then. 250 00:13:49,881 --> 00:13:51,720 See you there. 251 00:13:51,721 --> 00:13:53,000 See you there! 252 00:13:53,001 --> 00:13:55,120 - Bye. - See you later! 253 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:12,200 NEIL: IN TOWN. BE GREAT TO SPEAK. CAN WE MEET? 254 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,000 NO 255 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:24,920 So, come, come. 256 00:14:24,921 --> 00:14:26,200 Thanks. 257 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,280 Time. 258 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,440 It's all we've got. 259 00:14:36,441 --> 00:14:39,200 It heals...eventually. 260 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,160 I'm sure it doesn't feel like that at the moment, but... 261 00:14:44,161 --> 00:14:45,400 Anyway... 262 00:14:45,401 --> 00:14:47,200 Oh, sit, sit, sit, please. 263 00:14:47,201 --> 00:14:49,760 Things are ticking over nicely here. 264 00:14:49,761 --> 00:14:55,080 The upshot of attention to Kelly after her death, you know, it's really... 265 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:59,800 I mean the fact it meant more readers are discovering her work. 266 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,720 I'm... I'm not here about any of that. 267 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:06,400 Look, it's her laptop. 268 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,600 Her... 269 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,440 Her work laptop. 270 00:15:11,441 --> 00:15:13,360 Oh, right. 271 00:15:13,361 --> 00:15:18,160 See, after she died, you took it to make sure you had everything 272 00:15:18,161 --> 00:15:20,800 that she'd done, that it was complete. 273 00:15:20,801 --> 00:15:22,400 Yes. 274 00:15:22,401 --> 00:15:28,200 And I...I wanted to have a look myself, but I couldn't get in. 275 00:15:28,201 --> 00:15:31,840 There's a... There's a password. 276 00:15:31,841 --> 00:15:35,640 So, presumably you must have it, if you took the work off. 277 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,680 In terms of anything unfinished, I'm really happy to send it over. 278 00:15:39,681 --> 00:15:41,840 I mean, there's nothing... 279 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:45,240 Do you...? Do you have the password? 280 00:15:45,241 --> 00:15:47,640 We-we, erm... Yes. 281 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,440 What is it? 282 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,640 David... 283 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,520 - this is awkward. - What? 284 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,360 Kelly worked very closely with us. 285 00:16:05,361 --> 00:16:08,160 We, erm... We picked up her first submission. 286 00:16:08,161 --> 00:16:10,160 There...there was a lot of trust there. 287 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,560 As with many writers, she left 288 00:16:12,561 --> 00:16:15,440 instructions as to what should happen in the event of her death, 289 00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:18,200 and that included that we remove all the work off her laptop, 290 00:16:18,201 --> 00:16:20,640 but, er, not give anyone the password. 291 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:23,960 Even me? 292 00:16:23,961 --> 00:16:27,440 I'm afraid we can't go against her wishes. 293 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,320 What didn't she want me to see? 294 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,800 We got the relevant files. Anything else wasn't... 295 00:16:35,801 --> 00:16:37,520 Wait, wait. What else? 296 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,640 She was loved by everyone here 297 00:16:46,641 --> 00:16:48,200 and her readers. 298 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:50,680 David... 299 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,200 she adored you, I promise. 300 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,280 Maybe just... 301 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:03,920 trust her. 302 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,680 David... 303 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,080 - Hello. - It's Kat. 304 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,480 - Hi. - You don't have to take your shoes off. 305 00:17:34,481 --> 00:17:37,280 - Oh, right, thanks. - Just stay there, on the mat. 306 00:17:37,281 --> 00:17:38,560 It's Kat! 307 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,840 - You want to know where we're going? - No. 308 00:17:43,841 --> 00:17:46,200 Vanilla. Maya's never been there before. 309 00:17:46,201 --> 00:17:48,560 Is, er... Is Vanilla a club? 310 00:17:48,561 --> 00:17:50,800 It's for girls, you know? 311 00:17:50,801 --> 00:17:52,560 Not really. 312 00:17:52,561 --> 00:17:53,800 Are you going out, too? 313 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,400 - No. - You're dressed up. 314 00:17:56,401 --> 00:17:57,480 No, I'm not. 315 00:17:57,481 --> 00:17:59,760 - Why are you dressed up? - Oh, very funny. 316 00:17:59,761 --> 00:18:01,200 Wait there, please. 317 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,040 Do you want me to open that now? 318 00:18:08,041 --> 00:18:09,760 Up to you. 319 00:18:09,761 --> 00:18:11,160 Right, then. 320 00:18:11,161 --> 00:18:12,920 But it would be polite. 321 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,000 Mum? 322 00:18:31,001 --> 00:18:32,800 Has she even texted, or anything? 323 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,840 Open the present. 324 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,000 Oh, wow! Oh, my God, mate. 325 00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:53,680 That's really expensive. 326 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:58,880 It was my mother's. Your grandmother's. 327 00:18:58,881 --> 00:19:02,560 Thanks, yeah? 328 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,280 Look... 329 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,120 You'll lose it. 330 00:19:08,121 --> 00:19:10,840 Give it to me and you can have it to look at when you like. 331 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,480 Bye. 332 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:27,920 Yeah, thanks. 333 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,640 - How was it? - Yeah, good. We went to the park. 334 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:45,280 We looked at some squirrels, and I told her how cars work. 335 00:20:45,281 --> 00:20:47,160 You all right? 336 00:20:47,161 --> 00:20:51,120 Yeah! Just a weird email from the guy upstairs. 337 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:53,840 His... His wife died. 338 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,200 Liam not back? 339 00:20:57,201 --> 00:20:58,960 He's at work. 340 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,840 Actually, no. He's, erm... He's at his parents'. 341 00:21:03,841 --> 00:21:06,160 I needed some space, if I'm honest. 342 00:21:06,161 --> 00:21:08,240 Doghouse. What happened? 343 00:21:08,241 --> 00:21:10,280 No, no, nothing. 344 00:21:10,281 --> 00:21:13,680 I'm just not used to him being around all the time, so it's... 345 00:21:13,681 --> 00:21:15,800 Yeah, my mum and dad argue a lot. 346 00:21:15,801 --> 00:21:18,560 They love each other, but it's Vietnam half the time. 347 00:21:18,561 --> 00:21:21,840 Me and my sister are like, "Duck for cover! Napalm! Pfft!" 348 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,360 Napalm? 349 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,040 She's been hitting herself in the face. 350 00:21:29,041 --> 00:21:30,560 Is that normal? 351 00:21:30,561 --> 00:21:34,200 She can't believe her dad does napalm jokes. 352 00:21:34,201 --> 00:21:36,120 Well, she better get used to it. 353 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:44,520 Do you...want to stay for a cup of tea or whatever? 354 00:21:44,521 --> 00:21:47,160 - Oh, I don't drink tea. - Whatever, then. 355 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:52,560 It's not Mastermind, Andy. You don't have to. 356 00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:56,040 - I was just being polite. - Yeah. Er, Coke? 357 00:21:56,041 --> 00:21:57,360 Sure. 358 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,040 That's it. 359 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,720 - Coke. - Thanks. 360 00:22:05,721 --> 00:22:07,200 - You're lucky. 361 00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:09,760 I hate fizzy drinks, but... 362 00:22:09,761 --> 00:22:14,040 Liam says they're his guilty pleasure. 363 00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:18,920 I like your flat. 364 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:23,040 Landlady keeps the rent low, for some reason. 365 00:22:23,041 --> 00:22:25,640 - Yeah, she's all right, your landlady. - You met her? 366 00:22:25,641 --> 00:22:27,360 Yeah, we got talking one time. 367 00:22:27,361 --> 00:22:32,440 She's nice, but, I don't know, something's not right, is it? 368 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,160 Thank you. 369 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,320 - Hi! - Oh, shit! What are you...? 370 00:22:56,321 --> 00:22:58,600 You're wearing your best shirt! 371 00:22:58,601 --> 00:23:01,000 Very nice. Just one question. 372 00:23:01,001 --> 00:23:03,520 What are you hoping will happen tonight? 373 00:23:03,521 --> 00:23:07,000 That this girl will jump into bed with you and do things? 374 00:23:07,001 --> 00:23:11,640 Cos, look, I love you, but you are not experienced, to put it mildly, 375 00:23:11,641 --> 00:23:15,160 and we both know that you are missing me and using her. 376 00:23:15,161 --> 00:23:16,520 Not good at all. 377 00:23:16,521 --> 00:23:18,640 What's on the laptop? 378 00:23:18,641 --> 00:23:21,360 - Good evening. - Yeah, I'm meeting a friend. 379 00:23:21,361 --> 00:23:24,480 - Oh, he's right there. - Yes, right over there. 380 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,360 - Hey! - Hi. 381 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,440 Please... 382 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:40,600 - This... Is this, er, too formal? - No, no, it's great. 383 00:23:40,601 --> 00:23:44,280 I'm paying anyway, so I didn't want you to have to worry about... 384 00:23:44,281 --> 00:23:46,480 I wasn't. 385 00:23:46,481 --> 00:23:47,880 Right, good. 386 00:23:47,881 --> 00:23:49,760 Look, I might not have much money, 387 00:23:49,761 --> 00:23:52,480 but it's a point of principle for me. Pay my way. 388 00:23:52,481 --> 00:23:54,040 Yes. Quite right. 389 00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:57,680 - Anything to drink? - Ah, yes, yes. Would you like to...? 390 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,000 Sorry! Um... 391 00:24:01,001 --> 00:24:02,840 - Don't worry about it. It's fine. - All right. 392 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,480 I'm very clumsy. 393 00:24:05,481 --> 00:24:07,000 Yes, please. 394 00:24:07,001 --> 00:24:10,200 Yes, we would definitely like some drinks. 395 00:24:10,201 --> 00:24:11,600 - Yes? - Yeah. 396 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,560 What are you doing? 397 00:24:27,561 --> 00:24:29,920 Moving my stuff into the spare room. 398 00:24:29,921 --> 00:24:31,000 Where? 399 00:24:31,001 --> 00:24:32,400 Why? 400 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,880 You're not sleeping in here any more? 401 00:24:38,881 --> 00:24:40,320 That's right. 402 00:24:40,321 --> 00:24:42,000 OK. 403 00:24:42,001 --> 00:24:44,320 Throwing a few things away, too. 404 00:24:44,321 --> 00:24:46,120 I gave you this. 405 00:24:46,121 --> 00:24:47,600 I know. 406 00:24:47,601 --> 00:24:51,000 No, no, no, I'm not playing games! 407 00:24:51,001 --> 00:24:52,520 Neither am I. 408 00:24:52,521 --> 00:24:55,280 I tried to talk to you, you didn't want to hear it. 409 00:24:55,281 --> 00:24:57,560 - Well, all right, let's talk now. - All right. 410 00:24:57,561 --> 00:24:59,840 I'll tell you everything, on one condition. 411 00:24:59,841 --> 00:25:02,000 - So complicated! - That when I'm talking, 412 00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:03,480 you don't. You listen... 413 00:25:03,481 --> 00:25:05,320 Listening was my job, really. 414 00:25:05,321 --> 00:25:07,840 The right answer is just to say, "Of course. 415 00:25:07,841 --> 00:25:09,400 "Of course I'll listen." 416 00:25:09,401 --> 00:25:11,640 If you can't give me that reassurance... 417 00:25:11,641 --> 00:25:13,240 Of course I'll listen. 418 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,800 Right. 419 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:27,160 You know I crashed into Dawn and we went for lunch. 420 00:25:27,161 --> 00:25:30,400 - Dawn, yes. - Well, she'd last seen me so long ago, 421 00:25:30,401 --> 00:25:32,960 and she was surprised. 422 00:25:32,961 --> 00:25:35,520 And eventually she told me 423 00:25:35,521 --> 00:25:39,000 that I seemed like a shadow of the person she knew at school. 424 00:25:39,001 --> 00:25:43,520 - I see. - That at school I'd been very extrovert 425 00:25:43,521 --> 00:25:46,280 and now, well... 426 00:25:46,281 --> 00:25:49,040 She also watched us together 427 00:25:49,041 --> 00:25:52,400 and noticed how much you talked over me. 428 00:25:52,401 --> 00:25:54,160 How you didn't listen. 429 00:25:54,161 --> 00:25:56,280 - How you mocked me. - Mocked you? 430 00:25:56,281 --> 00:25:59,120 - Made fun of me all the time - Yes, in a way that's funny, 431 00:25:59,121 --> 00:26:01,520 - but that undermines me. - Not sure what gave her the right... 432 00:26:01,521 --> 00:26:04,000 I know, and I'm not... 433 00:26:04,001 --> 00:26:06,162 I'm not saying she's right about everything... 434 00:26:06,186 --> 00:26:06,798 Good! 435 00:26:06,922 --> 00:26:09,280 but the problem was that once she'd said it... 436 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,125 I realised it was true. 437 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:16,680 You do do those things...all the time. 438 00:26:16,681 --> 00:26:18,000 I see. 439 00:26:18,001 --> 00:26:20,040 And it went further. 440 00:26:20,041 --> 00:26:22,520 She reminded me of the ambition I had. 441 00:26:22,521 --> 00:26:24,000 The things I wanted to do. 442 00:26:24,001 --> 00:26:25,960 - No-one's stopped you. - She said, at school, 443 00:26:25,961 --> 00:26:28,720 everyone looked up to me because I was funny. 444 00:26:28,721 --> 00:26:30,360 She said extrovert. 445 00:26:30,361 --> 00:26:32,040 Outrageous. 446 00:26:32,041 --> 00:26:33,960 You'd hardly call me that now. 447 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:36,880 Well, you were young. 448 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,440 Yes, but what I've realised is 449 00:26:41,441 --> 00:26:44,040 - I met you at that time and... - We got on fantastically. 450 00:26:44,041 --> 00:26:45,400 - Henry... - Love at first sight. 451 00:26:45,401 --> 00:26:47,320 I don't want to be cruel in any of this... 452 00:26:47,321 --> 00:26:49,320 Right, because it's feeling cruel. 453 00:26:49,321 --> 00:26:51,360 but I have to be honest with you. 454 00:26:51,361 --> 00:26:55,120 Yes, we got on, we fell in love or whatever you want to call it... 455 00:26:56,480 --> 00:27:00,880 but I was 22, and now I'm wondering whether I made a mistake. 456 00:27:00,881 --> 00:27:04,680 Whether you weren't supposed to be "the one"... 457 00:27:04,681 --> 00:27:07,440 you were supposed to be "the first". 458 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,280 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-I... 459 00:27:14,281 --> 00:27:16,480 I'm going to die, Gail. 460 00:27:16,481 --> 00:27:19,040 - I'm dying. - I know. Of course. 461 00:27:19,041 --> 00:27:21,600 Then stop talking. Stop saying all of this. 462 00:27:21,601 --> 00:27:23,960 Yes, I was going to do that, to not say anything, 463 00:27:23,961 --> 00:27:27,160 but then you told me you slept with another woman for two years 464 00:27:27,161 --> 00:27:30,960 and kept it from me, and told our children and did what you liked, 465 00:27:30,961 --> 00:27:32,720 and I realised, Henry, 466 00:27:32,721 --> 00:27:36,520 you've always done what you liked our whole lives, and I haven't! 467 00:27:36,521 --> 00:27:39,840 I haven't, Henry, and you never noticed! 468 00:27:39,841 --> 00:27:42,200 So maybe now I'm allowed to say it 469 00:27:42,201 --> 00:27:45,680 and maybe it's up to you to find a way to handle it! 470 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,040 - Be sure. 471 00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:54,480 - What? - Be sure of what you're doing, saying. 472 00:27:54,481 --> 00:27:57,120 Because already you've said things you can't undo. 473 00:27:57,121 --> 00:28:00,200 I have a feeling there's no going back from some of this. 474 00:28:00,201 --> 00:28:01,520 I know. 475 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,560 There's a whole part of me you've never seen. 476 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:12,680 So, what's on the laptop? 477 00:28:12,681 --> 00:28:14,840 You're thinking she was seeing someone else? 478 00:28:14,841 --> 00:28:16,840 Well, we were... 479 00:28:16,841 --> 00:28:19,480 Sorry. 480 00:28:19,481 --> 00:28:21,840 Can you imagine her doing something like that? 481 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,600 Let's not... Let's not talk about her. 482 00:28:31,601 --> 00:28:33,520 Well, look, you can if you want. 483 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:38,120 We can't pretend it's not what you're thinking about all the time. 484 00:28:38,121 --> 00:28:39,720 It's OK. 485 00:28:39,721 --> 00:28:40,920 Go on. 486 00:28:40,921 --> 00:28:42,400 You met at school. 487 00:28:42,401 --> 00:28:44,000 You... 488 00:28:44,001 --> 00:28:45,440 You're kind. 489 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:50,200 Yes, we met at school. 490 00:28:50,201 --> 00:28:53,840 No, you know, we just stayed together. 491 00:28:53,841 --> 00:29:00,360 In her 20s, she taught and wrote a novel, and then two more. 492 00:29:00,361 --> 00:29:06,080 And they weren't...bestsellers, but, you know, they were good. 493 00:29:06,081 --> 00:29:09,560 And then sometimes, recently, she taught creative writing 494 00:29:09,561 --> 00:29:11,840 at the university. 495 00:29:11,841 --> 00:29:15,120 And, I don't know, we were just... 496 00:29:15,121 --> 00:29:17,200 we were just happy, you know? 497 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:29,560 Sob story leading to physical contact. Good! 498 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,680 You said... 499 00:29:33,681 --> 00:29:36,520 I got the impression that you'd lost someone. 500 00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:39,920 My mum, when I was a kid. 501 00:29:39,921 --> 00:29:43,000 And then my dad, three years ago now. 502 00:29:43,001 --> 00:29:46,040 I'm really sorry. 503 00:29:46,041 --> 00:29:47,800 Yeah. 504 00:29:47,801 --> 00:29:51,040 Good thing is, now I can do what I want. 505 00:29:51,041 --> 00:29:52,680 No disapproval. 506 00:29:52,681 --> 00:29:54,160 I'm free. 507 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,000 Why are you interested in me? 508 00:30:00,001 --> 00:30:02,040 What? 509 00:30:02,041 --> 00:30:04,720 Well, I'm in mourning for my wife. 510 00:30:04,721 --> 00:30:07,160 I can't imagine I'm the ideal partner... 511 00:30:07,161 --> 00:30:08,640 Who said I was interested? 512 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,520 Well, you are here. 513 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:18,960 Right, what is going on with these emails? 514 00:30:18,961 --> 00:30:20,600 Are you organising something? 515 00:30:20,601 --> 00:30:23,160 No. Since I couldn't get into her laptop, 516 00:30:23,161 --> 00:30:26,400 I emailed everyone and asked them about it. 517 00:30:26,401 --> 00:30:28,280 Everyone? 518 00:30:28,281 --> 00:30:31,680 I told them that Kelly had another phone, 519 00:30:31,681 --> 00:30:34,240 that she'd had been hiding something from me, 520 00:30:34,241 --> 00:30:35,600 and I want to know what it is. 521 00:30:35,601 --> 00:30:38,200 And...and what are they saying? 522 00:30:38,201 --> 00:30:39,640 Nothing. 523 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:42,960 Just that they're sorry, you know? 524 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:44,960 It's all pity. 525 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:47,600 Always pity. 526 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,120 And I don't... 527 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,200 What? 528 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,520 No... 529 00:31:22,521 --> 00:31:23,840 Just in case. 530 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,600 Enjoy! 531 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:02,840 Anna! 532 00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,400 Belle, actually. 533 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:10,840 Yes, so I gather. 534 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:15,000 What's that about, then? 535 00:32:15,001 --> 00:32:17,880 - It's my name. - Yeah, but not for years. Not since... 536 00:32:17,881 --> 00:32:21,760 Not since you... exactly! Think of it as my maiden name. 537 00:32:21,761 --> 00:32:25,440 Well, this is an unwelcome coincidence. 538 00:32:25,441 --> 00:32:28,640 Not for me. 539 00:32:28,641 --> 00:32:32,000 So, you're out, then, with... 540 00:32:32,001 --> 00:32:33,800 With friends. 541 00:32:33,801 --> 00:32:36,080 Having fun. 542 00:32:36,081 --> 00:32:38,400 Well, speaking of which, 543 00:32:38,401 --> 00:32:41,520 Kayleigh, can I get another one of those, please, and, erm, 544 00:32:41,521 --> 00:32:43,240 what do you want? 545 00:32:43,241 --> 00:32:44,840 I don't know why I'm asking! 546 00:32:44,841 --> 00:32:47,120 And a large glass of Pinot, please. 547 00:32:47,121 --> 00:32:48,520 Yes, of course. 548 00:32:48,521 --> 00:32:49,800 Thank you. 549 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,320 So... 550 00:32:55,321 --> 00:32:57,680 we need to talk. 551 00:32:57,681 --> 00:32:59,160 What about? 552 00:32:59,161 --> 00:33:02,120 Well, it's a proper conversation. 553 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,680 Won't bite. 554 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:23,760 Cheers. 555 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,440 You look better than ever. 556 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,000 I've missed you. 557 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:51,040 Sorry. 558 00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:55,600 Maya? 559 00:33:55,601 --> 00:33:57,760 - Hey, I need picking up! It's just... - What? 560 00:33:57,761 --> 00:33:59,640 I need you to come and get me from... 561 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:02,000 Maya? 562 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:06,640 I need to go. 563 00:34:06,641 --> 00:34:10,240 - Sure, but what about our chat? - Fine. 564 00:34:10,241 --> 00:34:12,400 We'll meet Friday. Here. Ten o'clock. 565 00:34:12,401 --> 00:34:13,880 Good. 566 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:21,120 I have two questions 567 00:34:21,121 --> 00:34:23,360 - to ask you about all of this. - Oh, well, thank you 568 00:34:23,361 --> 00:34:25,640 for structuring this conversation in advance. 569 00:34:25,641 --> 00:34:27,640 Do you want to talk or not? 570 00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,880 Firstly, even if everything you're saying is true, 571 00:34:32,881 --> 00:34:34,880 do you think that would have been my intention? 572 00:34:34,881 --> 00:34:38,320 To do whatever you're saying, to limit you, to not listen? 573 00:34:38,321 --> 00:34:41,240 That would never have been what I wanted. Yes? 574 00:34:41,241 --> 00:34:43,400 Perhaps you weren't consciously aware of it, no. 575 00:34:43,401 --> 00:34:45,680 All right. Good. That's a start. 576 00:34:45,681 --> 00:34:48,320 Which brings us on to the second question. 577 00:34:48,321 --> 00:34:50,960 You could have raised this at any point in the last 50 years. 578 00:34:50,961 --> 00:34:53,920 Instead, you're doing it when I've got six months to live. 579 00:34:53,921 --> 00:34:55,680 You're saying it's my fault, 580 00:34:55,681 --> 00:34:58,560 but if you never told me, how can I know?! 581 00:34:58,561 --> 00:35:00,240 I often ask if you're happy, 582 00:35:00,241 --> 00:35:04,120 and you've always, until yesterday, said yes. 583 00:35:04,121 --> 00:35:07,680 So, to put this entirely on me, out of the blue, is unfair. 584 00:35:07,681 --> 00:35:10,120 Do you accept even a little bit of that? 585 00:35:10,121 --> 00:35:14,280 I understand what you're saying. It's true, I didn't know until now. 586 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,800 You're right. 587 00:35:25,801 --> 00:35:30,040 When I first met you, you were out there! 588 00:35:30,041 --> 00:35:32,040 Protesting, outspoken. 589 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,280 Those hippy dresses. 590 00:35:36,281 --> 00:35:38,280 When I came in through the French windows 591 00:35:38,281 --> 00:35:40,880 and saw you for the first time, I was speechless! 592 00:35:40,881 --> 00:35:43,120 And since then, I have never asked 593 00:35:43,121 --> 00:35:45,760 you to be anyone other than yourself. 594 00:35:45,761 --> 00:35:47,200 Have I? 595 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:55,000 I used to see this a lot with my patients, when there was a couple 596 00:35:55,001 --> 00:35:57,720 and they were facing something: cancer, disease... 597 00:35:57,721 --> 00:36:00,240 the one who was going to do the caring would often look, 598 00:36:00,241 --> 00:36:02,560 subconsciously, for an escape route... 599 00:36:02,561 --> 00:36:06,040 No! It's got nothing to do with that! 600 00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:09,560 You've said it wasn't your intention, 601 00:36:09,561 --> 00:36:11,040 that I should have told you. 602 00:36:11,041 --> 00:36:13,080 But you still did it, Henry! 603 00:36:13,081 --> 00:36:15,560 You laughed at me, lessened me. 604 00:36:15,561 --> 00:36:17,280 All the time! 605 00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:21,440 What do you want, then? 606 00:36:21,441 --> 00:36:23,320 Me to be completely different? 607 00:36:23,321 --> 00:36:25,480 To stop making jokes? 608 00:36:25,481 --> 00:36:27,360 To stop being the person I am? 609 00:36:27,361 --> 00:36:29,120 Yes, exactly! 610 00:36:29,121 --> 00:36:31,000 You have to change. 611 00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,720 - Can't you speak on the phone? - He said he'd rather talk in person. 612 00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:53,880 Do you want me to come in with you? 613 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,840 No. 614 00:36:56,841 --> 00:36:59,000 Can you wait? 615 00:36:59,001 --> 00:37:01,000 Yeah. Yeah, course. 616 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,040 Yeah, eventually, I want to start my own business, 617 00:37:26,041 --> 00:37:28,160 doing events, weddings, birthday parties. 618 00:37:28,161 --> 00:37:29,840 What would it be called, your business? 619 00:37:29,841 --> 00:37:32,440 - Oh, I don't... It doesn't matter. - No, it does, I mean... 620 00:37:32,441 --> 00:37:33,501 - Taylor Made. - Taylor Made? 621 00:37:33,525 --> 00:37:35,080 Yes, because Taylor's my surname. 622 00:37:35,081 --> 00:37:37,880 But, obviously, you'll be taking his name after you get married? 623 00:37:37,881 --> 00:37:39,800 No way! His surname's Banner! 624 00:37:39,801 --> 00:37:41,240 - So? - Hannah Banner? 625 00:37:41,241 --> 00:37:42,920 Hannah Banner! 626 00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:45,760 What about you? 627 00:37:45,761 --> 00:37:47,640 Yeah, I mean, you can marry me if you want. 628 00:37:47,641 --> 00:37:49,600 Hannah Danso... much better. 629 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,600 I mean, what do you want to do? 630 00:37:52,601 --> 00:37:55,280 Oh! Right! 631 00:37:55,281 --> 00:37:56,480 Oh, I don't know. 632 00:37:56,481 --> 00:37:59,800 I just don't want to feel like I'm stuck with anything. 633 00:37:59,801 --> 00:38:01,720 Be free. 634 00:38:01,721 --> 00:38:03,720 You're stuck to one thing. 635 00:38:03,721 --> 00:38:05,120 Gaby? 636 00:38:05,121 --> 00:38:07,320 Oh, no, me and Gaby, we're... 637 00:38:07,321 --> 00:38:10,320 - Not serious? - No, we... 638 00:38:10,321 --> 00:38:12,360 We've known each other since college, 639 00:38:12,361 --> 00:38:15,200 and when I got back, we started seeing each other. 640 00:38:15,201 --> 00:38:17,720 Why did she come to the pub? 641 00:38:17,721 --> 00:38:19,280 Honestly? 642 00:38:19,281 --> 00:38:21,440 She was jealous, I think. 643 00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,680 - She says I talk about you too much. - Do you? 644 00:38:24,681 --> 00:38:27,760 - No. Why would I? - Why would you? 645 00:38:27,761 --> 00:38:30,600 Gaby's moving away, actually. 646 00:38:30,601 --> 00:38:32,240 - Far away, or...? - Leeds. 647 00:38:32,241 --> 00:38:33,880 She's got a job there. 648 00:38:33,881 --> 00:38:36,120 She wants me to come, too. 649 00:38:36,121 --> 00:38:38,080 I'm thinking about it. 650 00:38:38,081 --> 00:38:39,600 Right. 651 00:38:39,601 --> 00:38:42,320 It's not far. I'll still visit Evie, no problem. 652 00:38:42,321 --> 00:38:43,600 Yeah. No. Completely. 653 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:50,800 Can I ask you a question? 654 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,240 What did you see in me that night? 655 00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,000 I just wondered. 656 00:38:59,001 --> 00:39:00,520 Really good hair. 657 00:39:00,521 --> 00:39:02,760 What else? 658 00:39:02,761 --> 00:39:06,200 - You were wearing these killer boots. - They're really good boots. 659 00:39:06,201 --> 00:39:09,080 And when I first spoke to you, you laughed 660 00:39:09,081 --> 00:39:10,760 and put your hand on me. 661 00:39:10,761 --> 00:39:12,440 Not on my arm or shoulder. 662 00:39:12,441 --> 00:39:18,600 You reached over and touched me on my side, like this. 663 00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:21,320 It was really close. 664 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,400 And you made me laugh. 665 00:39:25,401 --> 00:39:26,760 You still do. 666 00:39:26,761 --> 00:39:27,880 I'm very funny. 667 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:30,320 What about me? 668 00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:33,640 You were hot. 669 00:39:33,641 --> 00:39:35,320 Is that it? 670 00:39:35,321 --> 00:39:38,840 Well, yeah. I mean, I didn't know you then. 671 00:39:38,841 --> 00:39:40,480 You know me now. 672 00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,720 I'm just going to go and check on Evie. 673 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,720 I want to come in. 674 00:40:04,721 --> 00:40:06,920 10.50. 675 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,400 I'm... I'm not gay. 676 00:40:12,401 --> 00:40:14,280 I'm not gay. 677 00:40:14,281 --> 00:40:16,480 - Does it matter? - Not to me. 678 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:19,120 Right. Good. 679 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:55,480 Hi. 680 00:40:55,481 --> 00:40:57,160 Oh. Hi. 681 00:40:57,161 --> 00:40:59,960 Well, you don't in any way look like you should be here. 682 00:40:59,961 --> 00:41:01,680 Where's Maya? 683 00:41:01,681 --> 00:41:04,960 Yeah. She's, erm... Look, I don't know! She got all pissy. 684 00:41:04,961 --> 00:41:06,800 Thought I was dancing with someone else, 685 00:41:06,801 --> 00:41:08,880 but it's like, "Calm down, yeah? I really wasn't." 686 00:41:08,881 --> 00:41:11,360 - Right, so where is she now? - She went. 687 00:41:11,361 --> 00:41:12,840 Look, I tried to stop her, 688 00:41:12,841 --> 00:41:15,280 but you know what she's like when she gets an idea in her head. 689 00:41:15,281 --> 00:41:17,680 She told me not to follow, so I'm like, "Fine!" 690 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:33,360 I can't believe you're going to throw this away. 691 00:41:33,361 --> 00:41:34,920 It's our honeymoon. 692 00:41:34,921 --> 00:41:36,480 You said she looked like me. 693 00:41:36,481 --> 00:41:37,720 What? 694 00:41:37,721 --> 00:41:39,760 We were sitting drinking hot chocolate, 695 00:41:39,761 --> 00:41:43,200 and you went and found it on the counter and you bought it. 696 00:41:43,201 --> 00:41:47,400 And you said that woman standing there, she looked like me. 697 00:41:47,401 --> 00:41:48,840 Well, she did. Exactly. 698 00:41:48,841 --> 00:41:51,560 Even then, when I think about it... 699 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:55,680 when you said she looked like me, you were laughing. 700 00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:00,800 You said she looked like me because she had a red face. 701 00:42:00,801 --> 00:42:04,160 And you were laughing at me because I had a red face then. 702 00:42:04,161 --> 00:42:05,880 You did. It was funny. 703 00:42:05,881 --> 00:42:09,160 Yes, but, Henry, don't you see that's the difference? 704 00:42:09,161 --> 00:42:12,240 This thing that you think is romantic, 705 00:42:12,241 --> 00:42:16,360 that signifies our marriage, is in fact a token, 706 00:42:16,361 --> 00:42:20,000 a perfect illustration of a moment when you were laughing at me, 707 00:42:20,001 --> 00:42:22,680 making me ridiculous! 708 00:42:22,681 --> 00:42:24,440 Well, you're not throwing it away. 709 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,160 So, given complete freedom, what would you do? 710 00:42:29,161 --> 00:42:31,640 - I don't know! - Oh, come on, imagine I'm not here, 711 00:42:31,641 --> 00:42:33,800 which will be a reality very soon, what then? 712 00:42:33,801 --> 00:42:36,080 What do you want to do that you feel you can't? 713 00:42:36,081 --> 00:42:38,040 - I've just told you! - But surely that's the point. 714 00:42:38,041 --> 00:42:39,560 We can't change the past, 715 00:42:39,561 --> 00:42:41,960 so unless this is an exercise in making me feel guilty, 716 00:42:41,961 --> 00:42:44,920 what we are surely talking about is what we do now. Yes? 717 00:42:44,921 --> 00:42:47,440 Sometimes you don't seem to have any love for me at all. 718 00:42:47,810 --> 00:42:48,420 What?! 719 00:42:48,787 --> 00:42:50,724 Even the way you just phrased that question sounded 720 00:42:50,749 --> 00:42:51,755 more like an accusation. 721 00:42:51,780 --> 00:42:54,160 Well, I'm sorry the way I speak doesn't match your standard. 722 00:42:54,161 --> 00:42:55,520 Don't get defensive. 723 00:42:55,521 --> 00:42:56,968 Well, how do you expect me to behave? 724 00:42:58,022 --> 00:43:00,200 Actually, I think I've done rather well tonight. 725 00:43:00,201 --> 00:43:02,280 I haven't walked out, I haven't got angry, 726 00:43:02,281 --> 00:43:04,320 even though you've destroyed our past, 727 00:43:04,321 --> 00:43:06,960 - our marriage, my personality... - I'm just telling you the truth. 728 00:43:06,961 --> 00:43:09,200 What do you want me to do when I'm feeling this? 729 00:43:09,201 --> 00:43:10,600 I want you to think, Gail. 730 00:43:10,601 --> 00:43:12,560 I want you to put our whole lives in perspective, 731 00:43:12,561 --> 00:43:13,960 and then, if you're not happy now, 732 00:43:13,961 --> 00:43:16,480 all I'm asking is that you decide what you do want instead. 733 00:43:16,481 --> 00:43:20,080 - How can I, when I don't know who I am? - Stop making excuses! 734 00:43:20,081 --> 00:43:22,600 Be practical about it. We've already established 735 00:43:22,601 --> 00:43:24,840 it would never be my intention to do what you're saying. 736 00:43:24,841 --> 00:43:27,060 - Yes, but I think subconsciously... - Subconsciously! 737 00:43:27,084 --> 00:43:28,040 it absolutely was. 738 00:43:28,041 --> 00:43:29,749 Well, that's very hard to prove either way 739 00:43:29,773 --> 00:43:31,440 and very hard to blame me for, I'd say. 740 00:43:31,441 --> 00:43:33,920 Yes, using me to prop you up, serving you your whole life, 741 00:43:33,921 --> 00:43:37,240 a servant, a pet, a slave to your ego, 742 00:43:37,241 --> 00:43:40,400 rather than, for a second, thinking about how you might find out 743 00:43:40,401 --> 00:43:42,840 - what I want! - I don't mean this to sound 744 00:43:42,841 --> 00:43:44,600 as critical as it undoubtedly will, 745 00:43:44,601 --> 00:43:47,960 but this whole conversation reminds me of talking to Jon or Rachel 746 00:43:47,961 --> 00:43:50,880 when they were 15 years old and going round in circles and... 747 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:03,800 I think you did know, Henry. 748 00:44:03,801 --> 00:44:05,600 On some level, I think you did. 749 00:44:05,601 --> 00:44:08,280 And when you had the affair with Helen, 750 00:44:08,281 --> 00:44:10,400 you did it because she was exciting 751 00:44:10,401 --> 00:44:12,640 and I was not, and you knew that. 752 00:44:12,641 --> 00:44:15,160 And instead of talking to me about it, 753 00:44:15,161 --> 00:44:17,200 you just found it elsewhere, 754 00:44:17,201 --> 00:44:19,800 because you wanted me to stay small 755 00:44:19,801 --> 00:44:21,840 and predictable and Mum 756 00:44:21,841 --> 00:44:24,920 and good old, funny old Gail! 757 00:44:24,921 --> 00:44:26,800 Henry... 758 00:44:26,801 --> 00:44:30,320 you knew exactly what you were doing. 759 00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,960 I don't believe a word of it. 760 00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,120 Where are you going now? 761 00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:55,960 All the information you need is in the files. 762 00:44:55,961 --> 00:44:59,080 - Bills, contact numbers. - What are you talking about? 763 00:44:59,081 --> 00:45:02,720 I'll take my phone, I'll be fine, but I won't tell you where I am. 764 00:45:02,721 --> 00:45:05,720 - You're leaving? - What does it look like? 765 00:45:05,721 --> 00:45:09,040 You're making yourself look completely ridiculous. 766 00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:25,320 Oh, thank God! 767 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,800 I thought you might have gone home to bed! 768 00:45:28,801 --> 00:45:30,640 I've been searching Manchester all night. 769 00:45:30,641 --> 00:45:33,080 - What are you doing here? - You called me. 770 00:45:33,081 --> 00:45:34,640 Yeah, I wanted a lift. 771 00:45:34,641 --> 00:45:36,000 You hung up! 772 00:45:36,001 --> 00:45:38,080 My phone ran out of credit. 773 00:45:38,081 --> 00:45:40,440 I don't have any money or savings left. 774 00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:43,760 How did you find me? 775 00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:46,040 With effort. 776 00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,200 And asking people. 777 00:45:49,201 --> 00:45:51,440 I went to your club. 778 00:45:51,441 --> 00:45:54,920 Met your friends. They said you got angry with them. 779 00:45:54,921 --> 00:45:56,560 They didn't know why. 780 00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:00,680 When I went home today, it wasn't for clothes. 781 00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:04,160 I thought there might be some change in the sofa. 782 00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:06,880 But I'd forgotten. 783 00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:10,920 I hadn't thought that it'd still be there, on the carpet. 784 00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:14,120 What? You mean the... 785 00:46:14,121 --> 00:46:16,560 About ten minutes before it happened, she called me. 786 00:46:16,561 --> 00:46:17,840 She was like, "Maya?" 787 00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,760 Then she called me again and she was angry. 788 00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:25,600 I'd always ignore it cos it just meant that she was drunk 789 00:46:25,601 --> 00:46:27,320 and wanted someone to shout at. 790 00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,320 - She blamed me for everything. - I know. 791 00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:37,320 Then, about ten minutes later, there was this...screaming. 792 00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:40,960 But I still didn't go out. 793 00:46:40,961 --> 00:46:43,680 Just stayed in my room, put my headphones on. 794 00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:47,400 Then the screaming stopped. 795 00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:50,480 Like, suddenly. 796 00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,360 That's when I went to go see. 797 00:46:54,361 --> 00:46:57,000 - Maya... - She was sat there on the floor, 798 00:46:57,001 --> 00:46:58,920 staring at me, 799 00:46:58,921 --> 00:47:00,640 blood everywhere. 800 00:47:00,641 --> 00:47:02,040 This smashed glass. 801 00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:05,280 She'd cut her arm, maybe twice. 802 00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:09,880 Then she saw me... 803 00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:13,280 and she cut her arm again. 804 00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:17,960 Just...looking at me. 805 00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,240 I got my phone and called the ambulance. 806 00:47:24,241 --> 00:47:26,360 They were amazed by how calm I was. 807 00:47:26,361 --> 00:47:27,920 She's ill. 808 00:47:27,921 --> 00:47:30,520 She's feeling what she's feeling, and she hates me. 809 00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:38,200 Yeah, she's ill. You don't have an excuse. 810 00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,200 What do you...? I don't hate you! 811 00:47:42,201 --> 00:47:44,400 Then why have you been so fucking horrible? 812 00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,480 You could've asked me for money. 813 00:47:49,481 --> 00:47:51,200 You could've offered. 814 00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:58,080 I just... I didn't think that you'd... 815 00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:03,640 I don't mean to be... 816 00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:18,000 I've got problems of my own, 817 00:48:18,001 --> 00:48:19,600 but I know... 818 00:48:19,601 --> 00:48:21,600 I know I'm the grown-up. 819 00:48:24,240 --> 00:48:25,960 You have to promise me. 820 00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:30,360 What? 821 00:48:30,361 --> 00:48:34,720 Whatever happens, whatever I do, you'll be there to look after me, 822 00:48:34,721 --> 00:48:37,480 to fucking...love me, 823 00:48:37,481 --> 00:48:40,720 because I don't have anyone else. Literally no-one. 824 00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:46,320 I might be 16, but that's still a child, 825 00:48:46,321 --> 00:48:48,440 so you have to promise me, 826 00:48:48,441 --> 00:48:50,240 from now on, I come first. 827 00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:57,680 Jesus, what are you staring at? It's a simple... 828 00:48:57,681 --> 00:48:59,520 I promise. 829 00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:06,280 OK. 830 00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:13,360 OK. 831 00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:22,000 - Where are you going? - Home. 832 00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:24,960 Home? 833 00:49:24,961 --> 00:49:26,160 It's late. 834 00:49:26,161 --> 00:49:27,200 I know. 835 00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:32,320 But it's your birthday. 836 00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:00,720 It, er... It wasn't him. 837 00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,240 He was just someone she contacted 838 00:50:04,241 --> 00:50:05,840 for research. Uh... 839 00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:10,520 As someone who'd been cheating on their partner, 840 00:50:10,521 --> 00:50:12,920 for a book she was writing. 841 00:50:12,921 --> 00:50:16,800 While they were talking, Kelly admitted that she'd done it. 842 00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:20,720 Been unfaithful. 843 00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:24,800 And that's all he knew. 844 00:50:31,240 --> 00:50:33,240 I'm sorry. 845 00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:38,360 So it, erm... 846 00:50:38,361 --> 00:50:40,800 Our marriage was just... 847 00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:47,360 She was in Liverpool, right? 848 00:50:47,361 --> 00:50:51,160 And there was this man, he rushed past her 849 00:50:51,161 --> 00:50:54,720 and he knocked her and she fell to the ground 850 00:50:54,721 --> 00:50:56,280 and she hit her head. 851 00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:01,520 And then, within five minutes, she died. 852 00:51:01,521 --> 00:51:05,640 And I...I couldn't understand why she was there in the first place. 853 00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:10,320 And now I know. 854 00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:21,840 I know that this might sound, er, strange, 855 00:51:21,841 --> 00:51:25,960 but...I really don't care any more. 856 00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:43,640 I remember this wonderful production of Doll's House at the Exchange. 857 00:51:43,641 --> 00:51:46,600 - Stop it. - The big exit of the persecuted woman. 858 00:51:46,601 --> 00:51:48,760 It wasn't bad apart from the costumes, 859 00:51:48,761 --> 00:51:50,680 but I think this is more dramatic. 860 00:51:50,681 --> 00:51:52,560 Amazing performance, Gail! 861 00:51:52,561 --> 00:51:53,880 A grand gesture! 862 00:51:53,881 --> 00:51:55,720 I get it. 863 00:51:55,721 --> 00:51:57,280 You're really going to go? 864 00:51:57,281 --> 00:52:00,400 It feels like I've been in the dark so long. 865 00:52:00,401 --> 00:52:02,120 - I've no idea what that means. 866 00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:07,880 Go on, then. 867 00:52:07,881 --> 00:52:09,440 I'm not chasing after you. 868 00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:13,960 Good. 869 00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,720 - Hope everything's OK with Gaby in Leeds. - Yeah, thanks. 870 00:52:26,721 --> 00:52:28,840 You really think you'll go? 871 00:52:28,841 --> 00:52:31,640 Yeah, yeah... I don't know. 872 00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,120 It's good you stayed tonight. 873 00:52:37,121 --> 00:52:39,880 - Yeah. Yeah, it's been fun. - Yeah. Yeah. 874 00:52:39,881 --> 00:52:41,880 Look, I was... I was wondering, erm... 875 00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:44,640 Oh! Hi. 876 00:52:44,641 --> 00:52:46,360 Going on holiday? 877 00:52:46,361 --> 00:52:48,200 Well, not exactly, but away. 878 00:52:48,201 --> 00:52:49,440 I told him I needed space. 879 00:52:49,441 --> 00:52:51,440 He can't know you're here! 880 00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:53,440 Gail! 881 00:52:58,040 --> 00:52:59,400 Hi? 882 00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:03,840 I just put the bins out. 883 00:53:03,841 --> 00:53:08,520 I know you said you wanted to be alone, but... Here. 884 00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:13,880 Sorry, I... 885 00:53:13,881 --> 00:53:16,720 I can be passionate. 886 00:53:16,721 --> 00:53:18,120 That's sweet. 887 00:53:18,121 --> 00:53:19,760 Gail? 888 00:53:24,720 --> 00:53:28,120 It's not fair, Gail! 889 00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:49,760 Please. 890 00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:56,920 Night-night. Night-night. 891 00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:01,400 Please. 892 00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:29,880 CREDITS