- What? - Hi.
What's the craic?
No craic.
What were you doing?
Nothing.
- Reading a book? - No.
Come on, Nomad wants to see you.
All right.
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com
You wrote dog, but I've written dogs.
- Two is your windpipe or your... - Why is this wrong?
It sounds like a dinosaur.
Or the oesophagus.
- It's in your neck. - Hello, there, love.
Yeah.
- You look gorgeous. - Thanks very much.
Right, let's get going.
Doesn't this look professional?
Almost a little too professional.
What would happen if one scratched at the surface, I wonder?
- Where did you get that voice from? - I'm not going to come back to it.
Oh, no, this is my, this is my suspicious Aloysius voice.
Yeah, yeah, I recognise it.
I don't know if I can be arsed, love. I want to put my jammies on.
- And... Come on. Look at that. - Honestly, I'm very throaty...
If we stay, we're going to ruin this lovely scenario.
I'm not too sure if that's not such a bad thing.
All right.
Looks like it's all in hand to me.
Baby, go on, now, I'll get them to bed and everything.
- Yeah. - Yeah, come on,
just, you know, give us a chance to make it up for you.
It hasn't been the best of starts, has it?
Yesterday was a little bit ridiculous,
- so just give me a little chance. - Yeah.
Yeah, listen to your brother.
I'll keep an eye on him.
You'll keep an eye on Angie and Dan for me, Zach?
- ? Romeo and Juliet... ? - Liz and Richard...
- The Twits... - The Twits?
Alright you smartarse. Come on, get back to this.
Right, listen, face, hands, and teeth, go to bed when you're told,
don't stay up too late. Be good, be good, be good.
- All right. - Be good.
All right, come on, let's go.
- Hey, Zachie. - See you later, guys. Come on.
Eyes on you.
All right, see yous later. Be good!
- Good night! - Orange and apple...
A kiwi, pear and pineapple...
- All right, smartarse, let me see. - Smartarse?
Where did you learn to cook?
At my auntie's.
Is that the woman who you lived with when you...
- went over to Liverpool? - Yeah.
Yeah, she was a great cook.
Shepherd's pies, cottage pies...
pea soup.
- All the home cooking. - Yeah.
Scouse, she makes a great pie scouse.
What is scouse?
It's kind of like Irish stew.
- Okay. - Potatoes.
Yeah, Anna attempted to make a stew one time.
- Yeah? - Yeah, we all had the shits for about a week.
- What? From a stew? - No.
You know the way you leave a stew to sit overnight to, you know, let it soak?
She left it for about a fucking week, to be honest.
It's always better the day after.
No, yeah, well, she thought it was going to enhance the flavour by leaving it a week.
- It'll go mouldy, won't it? - That is really good. Yeah!
Is that your phone?
I'm going to bet you five euro that is going to be Anna
checking to see if I'm fucking fingering you.
I'm telling you.
***
Am I right?
No, it's Shea.
It's my lad, my little lad.
I'm just going to take it out here, is that all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going to tuck into this.
Hello, champ.
Are you okay?
Yeah, no, no, I tried, I tried to Skype you the other day.
Oh, you're just getting it connected?
The tinterweb's being put in.
Okay.
Yeah.
Two bedrooms?
That's great, really great.
Swimming pool?
Oh, wow!
Wow, that's amazing!
You've got your own swimming pool.
Oh, nice one.
What's his name?
Thomas?
Yeah, that's lovely, isn't it?
No, I'm, um...
I'm in Ireland.
Um, yeah, I'm with Bridge.
We're painting a big house.
Yeah, yeah, maybe another week, I think.
Yeah, it shouldn't be too long.
Okay, well, I will, I promise. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, as soon as you've...
Yeah, as soon as it's all connected and that, we... we'll do the,
we'll do the, we'll do the Skype, yeah?
Okay, yeah. Okay.
I love you too, son.
Yeah, to the moon and back.
Forever.
Yeah, ta-ra, ta-ra, ta-ra,
ta-ra, bye-bye, bye-bye.
Sorry, but, um...
do you want me to cover up your dinner for you,
just to keep it warm or something?
No, you're all right. I'm not hungry now.
Neither am I.
It was lovely, but I'm just not hungry any more.
I didn't mean to...
overhear your conversation there.
A-Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine, yeah.
Yeah? How's your lad?
Yeah, he's got a swimming pool.
- Oh, fucking hell. - No, you're all right, mate.
- It's okay, no worries. - Yeah.
It's over. You don't need to...
I'm okay.
It's all right. You don't need to pretend in front of me.
No, I know, yeah.
It's just hard. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I just really miss him.
No, I get it, I honestly do, I know how... how hard it is.
I don't mean to be funny, you know, you just... You know what I mean?
It's my son, isn't it?
- No, I get it. Honestly I do, I know. - No, you... you don't get it.
No, I do, actually, I know, I do get it because I can't see my son either.
No...
it's not your fault, you didn't know.
We don't talk about it in this family.
It's a hard one to bring up, you know?
"Joe, this is my sister Dinah.
She got knocked up when she was 15 and we thought it would be a great idea
to give her kid to someone who could, you know, look after it.
Fuck knows what she wants to do, but..."
I don't know if you know, but abortion is kind of illegal in this country so it wasn't...
you know, it wasn't an option.
Fucking hell.
My Bible-bashing mother wasn't going to let that fucking thing happen
and piss off the hierarchy above.
- I'm sorry, but I feel like a tit. - No, don't be. It's not your fault,
but just don't judge me on not knowing what it is
that you're going through, it's just I've been going through it for the past ten years, you know,
so...
- Oh, I'm really sorry about it. - Don't be sorry.
There's me going off like a prick saying you don't know what I'm talking about, of course you do.
No, it's... it's all right.
Is it a boy or a girl?
A little boy.
Finn.
- Finn. - Do you get to see him?
No, I don't. I haven't seen him since he was born.
I got to name him, though.
It's means...
warrior.
It's a Celtic little warrior, little fighter.
Does Michael, and Anna, and everyone know?
Yeah, they actually tried really hard to...
to take him in.
But, uh...
my mum wasn't going to let that happen.
So that's why you know
they put up with all my shit cos...
instead of taking him in, they took me.
So I try not to piss them off so much.
- Oh, Dinah, I'm so sorry. - No, don't be sorry.
Please stop saying that. I'm not sorry, I'm not feeling sorry for myself.
I had no idea.
You know you're amazing, aren't you?
No.
No, I'm a fuck-up.
Oh, fucking hell. What are we doing?
- No, we shouldn't do that. - No, we can't do it.
No.
- We promised them, didn't we, that we wouldn't do nothing. - No.
The fucking minute they go, we're... Fucking...
No, we shouldn't... we shouldn't do it. You know what I mean?
It's just... it's just too much.
Well, definitely not in that, you know, apron.
It just wouldn't work. It's just...
it's just, it's not, it's just not the right time.
Do you want me to go or...?
Yeah. Yeah, maybe, no...
We should clean up and that, shouldn't we? Do the dishes and stuff.
What, you can't clean up too much, otherwise we'll look like, um,
fucking angels, here, in the house,
cooking dinner and all that.
Sorry.
But I really want to.
I haven't been with anyone for ages.
How long is ages?
About two and a half years.
It's all right, we don't have to do anything. We could just...
you know, just sit here.
I hope just to hold you.
Yeah?
- Yeah, if that's okay? - Yeah.
- Can you take that off? - Yeah.
I feel like I'm about to hold someone from The Stepford Wives.
No, like, don't get me wrong,
it's a really nice colour on you, you know, but, it's just...
No, no, I do, yeah.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah, I think so, yeah.
Do you not want to...?
Yeah, yeah, I'm just... I'm just a bit nervous.
It's okay.
You're all right.
All right, Joe?
All right, Joe? What's up with you, old pal?
All right, Craig?
You little queer.
I'm sorry, did I...?
Is it something that I'm doing? I'm sorry.
No, no, it's not.
- Good, Joe. - No.
- Are you okay? Now, are you okay, Joe? - Fuck. Yeah.
I'm going to sit over here, okay? Just...
Are you all right?
You can cry, mate.
Are you all right, Joe? Are you okay?
No, you're okay?
You're okay.
Right, you're really scaring me, Joe.
Can you stop it, please?
- We're just going to... - Stop it!
- Joe, I'm just going to ring someone. - Stop it!
Just don't... Just sit there, please and you'll be all right.
Charlotte and... have been around the premises.
Ah! I did it!
Get it out!
- Help me, please! - Yeah, I need an ambulance, please.
Joe, breathe. Breathe, okay?
Get the fuck off me! Get the fuck off! Fuck off!
Fuck off!
Stop it! Stop...!
Stop it!
I'm not doing anything, Joe! Just stop, you're scaring me.
Stop it! No!
I'm not going to touch you, okay?
I'm not going to touch you, okay, I'm just going to sit here.
Joe...
You're okay now.
I'm sorry.
That's it.
I'm sorry.
No, you're okay.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You're okay.
Are you sure you're ready to tell him?
Yeah, I'm 100% ready.
We went out to this place, you know,
full of beers, smokes, chocolate,
sweets.
Everything you name it, it has it.
Craig, Craig, tell him how much of a privilege it is to be in there.
- Tell him, tell him, Craig. - Great, great honour.
Craig went the last time, he won't be going again.
Do you want to come? Cos, like, if you said louder
I would've been, like,
- I would've been... - It would've been very disrespectful.
Tell him how disrespectful it would have been.
Very disrespectful.
You wouldn't be living in here.
So do you want to go?
Yeah.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
Cos there's no turning back when you leave them doors.
Are you sure you want to go?
- Yeah. - Go, run yourself.
Come on, Nomad.
Let's go, Joe.
Come on, Joe...
You say a word, I'll kill you.
I'll take your teeth out and your legs off.
- Do you hear me? - Yeah.
There you are, look.
Can I take him out today?
We're just going to monitor him for a few more hours.
- Right, and then I can take home? - You'll have him home this evening.
We really appreciate everything you've done for him.
- That's what I'm here for. - Much appreciated.
- Cheers. - All the best.
- Thanks, doctor. - Not a problem.
Jesus Christ.
Fuck's sake,
are you trying are you trying to give me a fucking heart attack, too?
You okay?
Yeah.
You frightened the shit out of me.
I've been here all fucking night, they wouldn't let me in.
Arseholes.
Well, they said that's not what you've had, anyway, it's not a fucking heart attack or anything.
Do you want me to grab you a coffee or tea or...
grapes or something?
Yeah, get us a coffee, will you?
Yeah, sure.
Can I have a coffee, please?
Are you okay?
Yeah.
What the fuck happened?
Did you have a drink?
No.
No?
No, I promise you, no.
No, I didn't have a drink.
So what the fuck?
Have you had panic attacks before?
No.
I went to the Towers the other day.
Okay.
Just to have a look.
Well, I went to Mum and Dad's grave...
and then I went up to the Towers.
What did you go up there for?
I don't know.
All this stuff started coming back.
About being in there?
Yeah.
Yeah...
it all started to make sense.
I was raped.
When I was there, I was raped.
Oh, Joe...
It's okay.
Oh, fuck!
You were raped?
Yeah.
At nine?
Hey, come on...
Oh, fuck.
Just stop, now, come on...
I know I heard about those fuckers who used to work in there,
and the things they used to do to kids,
and they're in fucking prison now, half of them.
It wasn't the workers.
It wasn't the workers that done it.
Who was it, then?
It was some kids that were there.
Kids?
No, not kids, no, they were...
15, 16.
There was two of them.
Two brothers, I think they were.
One of them held me down...
and then the other one...
he was the one who...
the one who made me do things.
Oh, Joe...
Yeah.
How did I...
How did I forget something like that,
- do you know what I mean? - Oh, fuck.
How do you forget that?
You fucking didn't forget, you buried it.
It's been going through my head all night.
- Oh, God... - All night.
I'm so fucking sorry I left you in there.
Hey, it's not your fault.
Christ...
I used to think it was your fault, why I left,
but I get it now.
Do you know who it was?
No.
No, they were two brothers.
I know that.
It's okay.
Hey, hey, hey, come on.
- Oh, I'm sorry! - It's okay.
- Oh, I'm so sorry, Joe. - It's okay.
Fuck.
- I'm so sorry. - Hey...
I should never have left you.
What the fuck is Craig doing?
Yeah, out straight, Craig, you want to lay off them...
- Here, Bob, show us your bum. - Your teeth are brown.
Actually, Bob show us your arse.
Or a kiss.
Craigy and Bob, found together, kissing in the office!
- Good old Craig. - Craig.
Do you know what?
What?
You need to stop looking at me like that,
or we'll kick the shit out of you.
Do you hear me?
It's...
that one there, with the yellow on the bottom.
Okay.
I can wait out here for you, if you want.
- No. - It's no hassle.
No, you're all right, you go home and get some sleep.
You've been up all night.
I could do with a fucking wash, I can smell myself.
I'll give you a bell when I'm on my way home.
- All right. I'll see you later. - Okay.
- All right, mate? - All right, Joe.
- You okay? - Yeah.
I was bang out of order, Craig,
I shouldn't have spoke to you like that, mate.
I'm really sorry.
Thanks.
Well, I was just wondering if what you said the other day, you know, if...
What?
Well, you said, if I ever needed anyone to talk to...
- My head's fucked, Craigy. - Yeah.
It is, my head, it's fucked.
And you're the only one that was there.
You know, you're the only one that understands me.
So, if the offer still stands, mate...
I could really do with someone to talk to.
Yeah, come on in.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Thanks, mate.
The place is a bit of a fucking mess.
Oh, it's all right.
Dinah, I... I looked through the files, and...
Just before you say anything...
Can I just thank you...
- for... - For what?
Just for everything that you did.
You were on my side and she wasn't. So, I want to thank you for that.
And I also want to say that...
- She? - My mum.
But, I also want to say that, most importantly, I want...
Finn to know that I never...
regretted having him.
And...
the only regret I have is that I didn't fight to keep him.
And that's why...
I have these.
And it's going to explain everything to him
about what happened.
But most importantly, that he wasn't a mistake
cos I know what it's like to be a mistake
and I don't want him to know that.
And...
he's the best thing that has ever happened to me.
First of all...
he's not called Finn any more.
- Okay. - His parents...
named him Eoin.
Okay.
I can change that on this.
How you spell Eoin?
E-O-I-N.
Dinah, it's...
it's not, it's not great news today because...
I called Eoin's parents and...
they feel at the moment that meeting you
would not be right.
I know I only sprung this on you yesterday so, maybe there's
another...
- Look, his... - Another day, or...
something that they could maybe come meet me?
- I just want to give him this. - The thing is,
he's doing really, really well now.
You know, he's really come into his own
and he's a great little fella, you know.
He plays football, he's really doing well at school...
great at art.
Like his mum.
Yeah, like his mum.
And they just don't want that to be
upended, you know?
It's taken quite a while.
- I know, I know it's a bit of... - And...
I know, I've come in, I've...
It's been a long time, but...
I don't understand why you can't just give him this.
- I know I can't meet him straight away. - It's just the...
what happened before...
really had an impact, you know?
What happened?
Sorry, what do you mean, like when I gave him away?
No, I mean...
when he...
when we sent the letters, you know, when he...
To you?
No, the letters he sent to you.
I didn't get any letters.
Back in 2011...
he did all those drawings,
those copies of your drawings,
that he wanted you to have, and... we sent them.
Over six months, we sent six letters...
and because there was no response...
Where did you send them?
Well, we sent them to your house.
I didn't live at that address in 2011.
I rang your mum, I rang your mum and she told me that you...
you didn't want to have contact.
And you didn't want to be reminded of him.
And that's when I told Eoin's parents that the best thing
was for us to stop sending those letters...
sending any more drawings and that was...
That was pretty tough.
I didn't get any letters and I didn't...
No messages were ever sent on to me.
Well, why would your mother lie to me?
You know, she was very clear.
She...
She said you really, really didn't want to hear...
anything about Eoin.
That you didn't want...
any letters and she...
she told me that you burned those letters. So I...
Because she's a fucking lying cunt is what she is!
I didn't get those drawings, I didn't know about any of this.
And does he know? Is that, is that what he thinks?
Does he think that I didn't want to reply to any of those things that he sent me?
We didn't give him the whole story
but he knew you weren't replying to his letters
and it was very traumatic for him at the time.
It was very traumatic for the whole family.
So, you can see why right now, the idea of...
starting up a relationship with you just seems wrong.
And there's no way you can ring them now
and just tell them that I was...?
Dinah, I wish I could, but I can't.
You want what's best for him, they want what's best for him.
And right now what's best for him is to just feel like
he's got a nice, normal, ordinary life.
That he wouldn't have had with me?
That he can't ever have with me, is that what you're saying?
I'm so sorry.
I don't know what you want me to tell you, Joe.
I just want you to tell me the truth.
You know when you said it leaves a mark on you?
Yeah.
What did you mean?
I know what happened to you, Joe.
You know what happened to me?
Because...
because what happened to you, Joe, happened to me as well, you know.
And...
when you came in, you know...
they left me alone, you know.
And...
when they was lining you up, like...
I knew what they was going to do to you.
I'm so sorry, like, I'm so sorry and...
and I thought you was dead.
- I'm so sorry, Joe. - It's all right, Craig.
- Oh, God. - It's all right, it wasn't your fault.
I should have tried to help you.
But I just wanted to be left alone.
You know, I wanted them to stop being that mean.
You were only a kid yourself.
But you know who it was though, don't you?
Yeah.
Yeah, you know who it was, don't you?
Yeah.
Who was it, mate?
It was a couple of the older boys, you know.
- Two of them? - Yeah.
It was two brothers, you know.
And the younger one, David, he's dead now,
he was killed in a car accident.
About five years ago.
The lad in charge was...
was his older brother.
Damon, you know.
- Damon? - Yeah.
Damon, I don't remember Damon.
I remember a bit, but Damon, it wasn't Damon.
We used to call him Nomad.
Because it's Damon backwards, you know.
Yeah.
Yeah, Nomad?
He was a bad cunt, Joe.
Is he still around here?
No.
When he got out, he moved to a town not so far away.
- He moved away? - Yeah.
When did you last see him?
About six years ago, I don't know.
Did you stay mates with him?
I used to go over there, you know.
I don't know why because he was a sick fuck,
but I just used to go over there and...
I wanted to...
I wanted him...
I don't know, I wanted him to fix me or something.
It's okay, mate.
It's okay, Craig.
- I'm sorry, Joe. - It's okay.
It's okay, mate.
But you know where he lives, yeah?
Why?
Do you know where he lives?
Hey, hey, fella, fella!
What the fuck is this?
What do you mean, what the fuck is this?
Pea gravel?
- Yeah, it's pea gravel. - I didn't fucking order pea gravel.
- Well, you did, cos it's written there. - Give me that fucking...
- Fucking pea gravel. - I ordered two fucking tonnes
of limestone dust.
- If you did, it'd be written there... - Hold on, hold on...
Fuck off.
Hello, this is Michael at Byrne Construction.
Sorry, I can't take your call at the moment,
but if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
Michael, please answer your phone.
Fucking hell, talk to them in the fucking depot,
maybe someday you'll get a fucking order right.
Yeah, well, of course it's my fault, as usual.
- Just fucking get it right and tell them - Pain in the arse!
to send it this afternoon.
Fuck yourself, yeah?
Fuck off, Dinah!
If you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
Cheers.
Michael, I know you've turned your phone off, but I really need you to turn it back on,
now, because I need to talk to you.
It's about Finn.
I think you really need to call me back now.
So just take your fucking phone off silent, please.
Hello?
I'm so sorry...
Who is this?
Anna...
it's Craigy.
Craigy?
What's wrong, Craigy?
I'm so sorry...
Sorry for what? What the fuck?
Just stop crying for a second and tell me what are you talking about.
Is Joseph down there?
No.
I think I done something really bad.
What the fuck's going on?
Where's Joe?
He's not... He's not here.
- I can fucking see that. - Yeah.
What's going on, Craigy?
Honest to fucking God, this on the phone, and now here,
will you just fucking speak to me
- and tell me what is it that's going on? - I'm trying!
Okay, I'm trying.
Oh, look, I'm sorry, just fucking tell me what it is.
I, er...
He... He made me. I gave him a name, you know?
He made you what? You gave him...
What are you talking about? What are you talking about?
I gave him the name of the guy...
from the Towers who, er...
The person who abused him?
Yeah.
And then what happened?
And then when happened?
I gave him an address.
You gave him an address?
Yeah.
Of where this person fucking still lives?
Is it... Does he live around here?
He lives in Clonlea.
He... he wouldn't take no for an answer.
He wouldn't take no for an answer? Could you not have fucking lied?
He made me do it.
He told me he'd forgive me if I told him.
Forgive you for fucking what?
Do you know that that is the fucking man
- who fucking raped my brother? - Yeah.
Who held him down and fucking raped him?
- Yeah. - And you sent him over there?
I didn't send him over there, I asked... He asked me...
You gave him the fucking address, you may as well have,
you may as well have fucking driven him over there,
and fucking ushered him in the fucking door.
Yeah.
How the fuck do you know where he lives, anyway?
Are you fucking involved in this?
- Is this all some fucking sick ring? - No, I'm not fucking involved in this.
Oh, my God!
What have you fucking done?
Give me the fucking... Give me the address. Tell me where it is.
He's in 59 Davis Drive in the new estate.
59 Davis Drive? Okay.
I'll tell you what, Craigy, I'm going over there now,
and if anyone has put a fucking hand on my brother's head, a finger...
I'll come back for you and I'll fucking kill you.
- This is your fault! - I'll be waiting...
- You fucking sent him to the slaughter, - Yeah.
- you did it! - Yeah, yeah.
- You fucking gobshite! - Yeah.
Hello this is Michael at Byrne Construction. - Oh, fuck.
- Sorry I can't take your call... - Answer your fucking phone, Mike.
and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Cheers.
Mike, this is Anna. Pick up your fucking phone.
I'm after ringing you loads.
I'm in a fucking shit storm here,
I really, fucking, really need your help,
so pick up your fucking phone!
- There you go. - Cheers, mate.
Hello, this is Michael at Byrne Construction.
Sorry, I can't take your call at the moment,
but if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
Cheers.
Seamus, can you go and get Michael for me, please?
He's not here.
What do you mean he's not fucking here?!
He's just stepped out for a bit.
The second he gets back here, tell him to call me.
- Fuck's sake! - All right!
Who the fuck are you?
Where's Lisa?
Where's my fucking dinner?
Are you Damon?
Oh, here we are.
Yes, a drop, please. Thank you.
Take a biscuit.
They're new cups?
Yes, that's my good set.
For special occasions.
You don't have them out for me too often.
No, but this feels like a special moment.
I can't lie, Dinah...
I'd just about given up all hope of you ever seeing sense.
Well, that's why I came here, Mum, because I want to apologise.
God, I was a right terror.
And I know how hard that must have been on you.
Well, I can't say it was easy. No.
But...
I, for one, would be glad if we can put all that business behind us, and...
Yeah. But just...
get back to how things were.
Just know that I...
I respect the commitment you have.
You know, to everything that you do.
You know, you see it through.
- Well, I try my best. - You do.
With God's help, yes.
I'm Joseph.
Joseph McCarthy.
Pleased to meet you, Joseph.
What the fuck do you want?
From Ballybraigh.
From The Towers.
Sorry, mate, I don't know you.
I've never been to Liverpool...
and there was no Scousers in The Towers.
No, I'm from round here.
I ran away.
When I was nine.
Do you remember me now?
Nomad?
You remember me now, don't you?
Hey?
So, you went to Liverpool?
I thought you were dead.
We all thought you were dead.
What's wrong with you?
What isn't wrong with me?
Can I sit down?
Help yourself.
Not what I expected.
Have I disappointed you?
Hello, this is Michael at Byrne Construction.
Sorry I can't take your call at the moment, but if you leave a message,
I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Cheers.
Michael, is there any fucking chance that you can pick up your bastard phone?
I'm after fucking calling you about five times,
I really fucking need you, I need you to look up a fucking address.
My stupid fucking cunt sat nav isn't working,
I'm having... I, I...
Answer your fucking phone! What the fuck are you doing, anyway?
So...
do you have plans?
Like getting back to college, Dinah?
You know, it's never too late to start again.
I planned to, I just...
Over the last couple of months, I've been thinking a lot.
And...
I want to go back to school, I do.
- Good. - I want to change things.
I'm glad to hear it, Dinah,
really, I am.
There's just something that I needed to... to sort out first.
If you wouldn't mind just...
just listening for a bit.
Right, is it an application for a job?
Yeah, something like that.
Or an application to go back to college?
Just listen.
I will. I'm all ears.
Sorry, I'm just nervous.
That's all right, take your time.
So you do remember me, then?
Yeah.
Do you remember what you've done?
Everything I've done?
Do you remember everything you've done?
Everyone you've done?
I remember what you've done to me.
I remember you ran away.
You broke my heart.
And do you remember why I ran away?
Why did you do that to me?
Why not you?
What makes you fucking special?
Huh?
You're alive, aren't you?
Didn't do you any harm, did it?
I was only fucking nine years of age.
What kind of human being
fucking does that to a child?
Hey?
You fucking scarred me.
You look all right from here.
Do you not feel one fucking ounce of remorse?
Do you not lie there in that fucking bed
thinking about them young kids
that you raped?
That you fucking violated?
What gives you the fucking right to come in here and question me, huh?
I have that fucking right.
What do you know about me?
Other than I fucked you.
Maybe I did you a favour.
Maybe if I hadn't, you wouldn't have run away
and you would have been stuck there...
and you would have been fucked by more than me.
Maybe you should be fucking thanking me, have you ever thought of that?
Who gave all the people who fucked me the right to fuck me?
Where do you think I fucking learned it?
"On the 20th of December, 2006..."
"I was pregnant with you."
"I was 15 and I was terrified."
"But I was promised by the people around me"
"that I was making the right choice."
"What I've learned now"
"is that I was lied to."
"She made the choice for me."
"This was so she wouldn't live with the shame"
"of having a slut for a daughter."
Christ Almighty!
I was going to give it to him, Mum.
That letter.
You're not sorry at all, are you?
I went and visited Janine today.
Do you remember her?
She remembers you.
So that's what you came back for.
To drag all of this business up again?
Jesus, Dinah,
where did I fail with you?
Day one.
Is that what you do with them?
With what?
The letters that he wrote me.
She told me that, um...
he sent some letters here and a drawing that he copied of mine.
To his...
to his mum, hoping that she might read them.
But, uh, she told me that...
that I burned them.
I don't remember doing that, Mum.
Scribbled little bits of paper.
School photograph.
A little crayon drawing, silly little drawings.
I burnt them.
For your good.
So why would you do that to someone else?
To me?
If you know how it feels?
Because you get immune, don't you?
That doesn't give you the right to fucking destroy other people.
Why would you do that?
Remember the first time it happened to you?
- Do you? - No.
And do you know why?
Because as long back as I can remember, it was being done to me.
So why would you do it to me?
Because I didn't know anything else.
- Why would you do it to other people? - I don't have your fucking answers.
You've come to the wrong place.
What was it going to lead to?
Drag it all out into the open again.
What did he look like, Mum?
Was it somebody he looked like in the photos?
It's in the past, Dinah.
And what have you got to offer him?
Nothing.
You haven't succeeded at anything, Dinah.
No, not really, no. No.
You don't finish your education, you didn't go to college,
you never had a job.
Yeah, I fucked that up, too, yeah.
Drugs...
What else?
Things I don't know about, probably.
You know I tried to top myself?
I fucked that up as well, I took some of Dad's old painkillers
and washed it down with a bottle vodka.
Didn't work.
Fucked that up, rightly.
You were such a mistake.
You think I didn't know that, Mum?
You think I didn't know that?
What was I, huh?
A silver anniversary gift from Dad?
What, you're going to let him fuck you?
How dare you!
When you neglect him for about 20 years in physical connection, huh?
- Don't speak to me like that! - What did he do?
Did he force himself on you?
Do you believe in God?
I've been thinking a lot about him.
If he's real, he's an evil fucking bastard, isn't he?
Maybe you should be asking him the questions.
I've got a few for him, myself.
If he fucking exists.
I came here to kill you.
You came for revenge, did you?
And now you can't even have revenge.
I don't need revenge.
You came to kill me.
And I'm going to leave here, walk out in that fucking sunshine,
I've got a life.
A sad fucking life.
It's not. I've got a little boy.
You've had a sad fucking life.
I've had a sad life? I've got a little boy.
Yeah?
Yeah, I've got a beautiful little boy, yeah.
Why didn't you bring him with you?
Little Shea. He's my little lad.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Yeah.
And I've got a life.
I've got a life.
You've got fuck-all.
Look at you in this sad fucking shithole.
Just wallowing in your own fucking self-pity,
you evil, horrible bastard.
It's not about power any more.
It's just about dying, now, Joe.
- And you're dying. - And I'm ready for it.
Good.
So, there you go.
I'd like you to leave my house.
No, I'm really enjoying this cup of tea we're having here, Mum.
Well, that's just too bad.
Catching up on everything. Whose was I?
- You're not welcome here any more. - No?
Oh, that's a pity.
I like staying here.
I like listening to all your stories, they're fun.
Honestly, they are.
- Are you on drugs? - No.
I fucking wish I was.
You should be, you miserable cunt.
Cos all you're filled with is anger and hate and...
emptiness.
You're fucking exhausted, aren't you?
- Get out, Dinah. - Exhausted from all that
guilt you're carrying around, hm?
Just go.
No, I'm enjoying it here.
Oh, this lovely plastic...
Ouch, Mum. Come on.
Do you want a tinnie?
I don't need it.
Okay, then.
So fuck off.
Look at me.
- Just fucking do it. - I need you to get out of my house,
and I want you to get out of my life,
because you've caused nothing but trouble!
You're just a little slut!
Get out!
Yeah, okay.
Come on, where the fuck are you?
Fucking hate you! You fucking slut!
Don't fucking move, because I will kill you.
- Don't fucking move. - Do me a favour.
Do me a fucking favour.
I've forgiven you.
I forgive you.
Fuck off!
Fuck off, I said!
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com