1 00:00:06,869 --> 00:00:08,421 You all know I'm not big on speeches. 2 00:00:10,181 --> 00:00:11,112 All right, who am I trying to kid? 3 00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:12,068 I love speeches. 4 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,313 Love 'em. 5 00:00:14,379 --> 00:00:16,793 Everybody in this room has given 6 00:00:16,862 --> 00:00:18,724 their heart and their soul to this project. 7 00:00:18,793 --> 00:00:20,191 You have worked overtime. 8 00:00:20,216 --> 00:00:21,630 You have worked weekends. 9 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:23,525 You have worked holidays. 10 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:26,735 Mark missed the birth of his firstborn. 11 00:00:28,137 --> 00:00:31,223 Saul missed the birth of his second born. 12 00:00:32,482 --> 00:00:35,078 Mary missed the births of her third, 13 00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:38,137 her fourth, and her fifth born, 14 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:42,181 and it is all in the idea of sacrificing 15 00:00:42,206 --> 00:00:45,068 to achieve something greater than ourselves. 16 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,693 So whether or not this wacky thing 17 00:00:48,717 --> 00:00:50,310 - actually works, - _ 18 00:00:50,379 --> 00:00:53,275 we all oughta be damn proud 19 00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:55,194 of the work that we have done here. 20 00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:57,986 Here we go. 21 00:00:58,376 --> 00:01:00,580 Everybody raise your glasses. 22 00:01:01,241 --> 00:01:04,241 Five, four, three, 23 00:01:04,354 --> 00:01:06,250 two, one. 24 00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:08,242 Stop the test! It's been called off! 25 00:01:08,267 --> 00:01:10,710 What the fuck are you saying? 26 00:01:10,735 --> 00:01:12,319 The entire product has been terminated. 27 00:01:12,344 --> 00:01:13,931 We're all being let go without severance. 28 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,043 On whose orders? 29 00:01:15,068 --> 00:01:16,344 Christian DeVille's. 30 00:01:16,437 --> 00:01:17,817 Christian DeVi... 31 00:01:17,842 --> 00:01:20,070 I... I can't turn it on? 32 00:01:20,616 --> 00:01:21,804 Not even once? 33 00:01:22,448 --> 00:01:24,034 This is bullshit! 34 00:01:24,059 --> 00:01:26,329 I gave my life to this project! 35 00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:28,553 My life! 36 00:01:40,882 --> 00:01:47,040 credits 37 00:01:47,794 --> 00:01:50,691 Rain jackets, lawnmowers, piņa colada mix. 38 00:01:50,716 --> 00:01:53,530 If you can name it, Hampton DeVille makes it. 39 00:01:53,555 --> 00:01:57,003 And now, you can add hurricane machine to that list. 40 00:01:57,028 --> 00:01:59,940 Our guest today is dashing investigative journalist 41 00:01:59,965 --> 00:02:01,241 Bonan Marrow, 42 00:02:01,266 --> 00:02:03,112 whose reporting led to the public outcry 43 00:02:03,137 --> 00:02:05,758 that caused the hurricane machine to be shut down. 44 00:02:05,803 --> 00:02:06,665 Now, Bonan, 45 00:02:06,690 --> 00:02:10,556 why would Christian DeVille build a hurricane machine? 46 00:02:10,581 --> 00:02:13,529 Well, inside sources say he was planning to sell this 47 00:02:13,554 --> 00:02:16,860 as a superweapon to the U.S. military. 48 00:02:16,892 --> 00:02:18,819 Well, I know a lot of people are calling 49 00:02:18,844 --> 00:02:20,944 for Christian DeVille to step down. 50 00:02:21,172 --> 00:02:23,103 This is just one in a long line 51 00:02:23,128 --> 00:02:24,837 of questionable decisions he's made. 52 00:02:24,862 --> 00:02:27,965 I think we all remember the Obelisk. 53 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,902 Why do you need an iPad that big? 54 00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:34,147 Well, you're the one who dated Christian. 55 00:02:34,172 --> 00:02:35,308 Maybe you can tell us. 56 00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:38,045 Is this man compensating for something? 57 00:02:39,029 --> 00:02:41,013 Bonan, I will never tell. 58 00:02:41,746 --> 00:02:43,871 Except in my tell-all book, 59 00:02:43,896 --> 00:02:46,000 which you can preorder now. 60 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:51,931 There's something I need to discuss with you, 61 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,206 but you have to swear on the Bible 62 00:02:53,231 --> 00:02:54,729 that this stays between us. 63 00:02:55,482 --> 00:02:57,645 - Okay, I swear. - Both hands. 64 00:02:57,670 --> 00:02:59,018 John, what is it? 65 00:02:59,482 --> 00:03:00,793 I always believed 66 00:03:00,862 --> 00:03:04,172 that Christian had some master plan, 67 00:03:04,197 --> 00:03:06,990 even if to us, it might seem strange 68 00:03:07,015 --> 00:03:08,871 or confusing 69 00:03:08,896 --> 00:03:10,783 or illegal, 70 00:03:10,808 --> 00:03:12,517 but lately, 71 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,361 I've started to have doubts. 72 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,134 To be self-critical, 73 00:03:17,159 --> 00:03:21,297 I may be blindly following an absolute madman. 74 00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:23,331 I'm glad to hear you say this. 75 00:03:23,493 --> 00:03:25,402 The board of directors 76 00:03:25,965 --> 00:03:28,655 is holding an emergency meeting tomorrow. 77 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,335 Christian is vulnerable, 78 00:03:30,448 --> 00:03:32,206 and you and I both know someone 79 00:03:32,231 --> 00:03:34,510 who would make a much better CEO. 80 00:03:34,689 --> 00:03:36,655 Oh, no, no, no. 81 00:03:36,724 --> 00:03:38,940 I'm much happier as a supplicant. 82 00:03:38,965 --> 00:03:41,310 My podiatrist and I came to that conclusion years ago. 83 00:03:41,379 --> 00:03:42,689 I meant me. 84 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,630 I am going to make a play against Christian, 85 00:03:45,655 --> 00:03:47,310 and I need your support. 86 00:03:47,425 --> 00:03:48,787 Whoa, Kate. 87 00:03:49,287 --> 00:03:51,970 You're a full-blown Judas? 88 00:03:52,655 --> 00:03:54,724 I can't believe I ever wanted to be like Christian. 89 00:03:54,793 --> 00:03:56,586 Too much stress, and for what? 90 00:03:56,699 --> 00:03:59,319 Billions of dollars and the power to destroy the world? 91 00:03:59,344 --> 00:04:00,586 Who has the energy? 92 00:04:00,611 --> 00:04:02,369 It's funny, the fact that our company is evil 93 00:04:02,394 --> 00:04:04,112 doesn't bother me the way that it used to. 94 00:04:04,137 --> 00:04:05,068 I'm powerless, 95 00:04:05,093 --> 00:04:06,068 and quite frankly, 96 00:04:06,093 --> 00:04:07,395 I find that to be empowering. 97 00:04:07,522 --> 00:04:09,102 We're honestly lucky to be where we're at. 98 00:04:09,151 --> 00:04:10,289 Nobody can blame us for anything, 99 00:04:10,314 --> 00:04:11,664 plus we get free bagels. 100 00:04:11,689 --> 00:04:13,068 Oh, right. It's Bagel Tuesday. 101 00:04:14,664 --> 00:04:16,463 Where the fuck are the fucking bagels? 102 00:04:16,488 --> 00:04:17,764 This company is evil. 103 00:04:30,827 --> 00:04:32,862 Is everyone excited for Bagel Tuesday? 104 00:04:32,887 --> 00:04:33,989 Yes! 105 00:04:34,257 --> 00:04:36,653 Let's see, I have plain bagels, 106 00:04:37,004 --> 00:04:40,112 egg, onion, everything, poppy, jalapeņo cheddar, 107 00:04:40,137 --> 00:04:43,068 and even a few cinnamon raisin for the freaks. 108 00:04:43,093 --> 00:04:44,320 Yes. 109 00:04:44,499 --> 00:04:46,391 And we all know what goes perfectly 110 00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:47,933 with delicious bagels: 111 00:04:48,034 --> 00:04:50,187 freshly roasted coffee. 112 00:05:02,457 --> 00:05:04,573 And don't forget the fresh-squeezed OJ. 113 00:05:12,886 --> 00:05:14,119 All right. 114 00:05:14,586 --> 00:05:15,651 Eat up! 115 00:05:19,758 --> 00:05:20,987 I'm sorry. 116 00:05:21,537 --> 00:05:24,768 I thought everyone was excited for Bagel Tuesday. 117 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,658 Are you not all grateful 118 00:05:26,683 --> 00:05:28,627 for the feast I have provided you? 119 00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:34,011 Well, you know, apparently, 120 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,975 a lot of people don't appreciate 121 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,641 what I do for this company. 122 00:05:38,843 --> 00:05:40,911 Some people even think 123 00:05:41,012 --> 00:05:45,024 I should step down as CEO. 124 00:05:47,224 --> 00:05:49,524 Well, let me explain something to you. 125 00:05:50,039 --> 00:05:52,964 There is no Hampton DeVille 126 00:05:52,989 --> 00:05:55,878 without Christian DeVille. 127 00:05:56,172 --> 00:05:59,120 I put the roof over your heads, 128 00:05:59,145 --> 00:06:01,525 I put the clothes on your backs, 129 00:06:01,550 --> 00:06:05,420 and I feed you scraps of bread like ducks in a pond! 130 00:06:05,445 --> 00:06:06,480 Quack, quack! 131 00:06:06,505 --> 00:06:07,631 Quack, quack, amen. 132 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,620 Now, I demand complete and total loyalty 133 00:06:14,645 --> 00:06:15,990 from my employees, 134 00:06:16,015 --> 00:06:17,804 so if there are any doubters amongst you, 135 00:06:17,829 --> 00:06:19,820 speak now or forever hold your... 136 00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:23,356 No! 137 00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:33,517 Oh, my fucking foot and butt! 138 00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:35,561 Oh, my God, are you okay? 139 00:06:35,586 --> 00:06:37,313 No, I'm not okay, you fucking morons! 140 00:06:37,338 --> 00:06:38,946 Somebody call the 5-0! 141 00:06:44,255 --> 00:06:45,522 John. 142 00:06:45,718 --> 00:06:46,959 John. 143 00:06:47,010 --> 00:06:48,240 John! 144 00:06:48,689 --> 00:06:49,553 Kate! 145 00:06:51,172 --> 00:06:52,448 You were right. 146 00:06:52,473 --> 00:06:54,165 Christian isn't a god. 147 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,032 He's the devil. 148 00:06:56,127 --> 00:06:57,852 It's right there in the name! 149 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,759 Christian DeVille! 150 00:07:00,997 --> 00:07:02,728 Like Cruella De Vil. 151 00:07:02,896 --> 00:07:03,980 Wow. 152 00:07:04,005 --> 00:07:06,315 Looking back, she was a pretty bad egg herself. 153 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,141 Does this mean you'll help me? 154 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:09,993 Yes. 155 00:07:10,551 --> 00:07:12,310 But we're gonna do it my way, 156 00:07:12,379 --> 00:07:14,206 which is whatever way you think is best. 157 00:07:14,275 --> 00:07:15,501 I make the rules, 158 00:07:15,526 --> 00:07:18,071 and the first rule is whatever you say goes. 159 00:07:19,446 --> 00:07:21,376 There's something we need to discuss with you, 160 00:07:21,401 --> 00:07:22,931 but you have to swear on the Bible 161 00:07:22,956 --> 00:07:24,216 that this stays between us. 162 00:07:24,241 --> 00:07:26,724 This has the New Testament for Matt and the prequel for Jake. 163 00:07:26,749 --> 00:07:28,520 - John, forget the goddamn Bible. - Yes, sir. 164 00:07:29,555 --> 00:07:32,926 We are making a play against Christian, 165 00:07:33,211 --> 00:07:34,544 and if you side with us, 166 00:07:34,689 --> 00:07:37,249 you will have more money and power 167 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:38,669 than you ever dreamed of. 168 00:07:38,694 --> 00:07:40,112 Congrats, sluts. 169 00:07:40,137 --> 00:07:42,575 Your days of doing grunt work are finally over. 170 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,671 From this moment forward, 171 00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:46,433 you are no longer junior executives in training. 172 00:07:46,458 --> 00:07:49,152 - You're now senior executives. - In theory. 173 00:07:49,448 --> 00:07:52,275 All you have to do is walk out that door. 174 00:07:54,827 --> 00:07:57,206 Actually, we decided we like where we're at. 175 00:07:57,275 --> 00:08:00,219 You guys just seem really stressed out all the time. 176 00:08:00,244 --> 00:08:03,071 With very little power comes very little responsibility. 177 00:08:03,139 --> 00:08:04,587 We're Buddhists now. 178 00:08:05,353 --> 00:08:07,650 Well, sucks to be you then! 179 00:08:07,679 --> 00:08:09,354 You're gonna have more money and power 180 00:08:09,379 --> 00:08:10,689 whether you like it or not! 181 00:08:10,714 --> 00:08:13,018 - And a bigger office. - We like this office. 182 00:08:13,921 --> 00:08:15,231 - How do you like it now? - Hey. 183 00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,492 - How 'bout now? - Whoa, what? 184 00:08:19,172 --> 00:08:19,906 How 'bout now? 185 00:08:19,931 --> 00:08:22,265 We are taking Christian down! 186 00:08:22,482 --> 00:08:23,758 And so are you! 187 00:08:23,783 --> 00:08:25,851 Want more, you sluts! Want more! 188 00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,844 Welcome to the inner circle. 189 00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,586 You're all here because we trust you. 190 00:08:41,699 --> 00:08:43,664 Or because you were standing nearby 191 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,667 when we were trying to recruit somebody else 192 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,795 and it would've been awkward not to invite you. 193 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,066 Kevin. 194 00:08:49,187 --> 00:08:51,772 Christian is a psychopathic dictator 195 00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:54,347 who has run this company into the ground. 196 00:08:54,481 --> 00:08:55,964 I think we can all agree 197 00:08:56,032 --> 00:08:57,653 I will be a more democratic leader. 198 00:08:57,678 --> 00:09:00,091 So without further discussion, let's move on. 199 00:09:00,134 --> 00:09:03,160 Our job today is to build a case against Christian 200 00:09:03,185 --> 00:09:05,289 that Kate and I can present to the board tomorrow. 201 00:09:05,439 --> 00:09:09,176 So we need to make a list of everything he's done wrong. 202 00:09:09,408 --> 00:09:11,416 We only have one whiteboard? 203 00:09:12,002 --> 00:09:12,962 Good point. 204 00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:15,354 Matt, Jake, fetch us some more whiteboards. 205 00:09:15,423 --> 00:09:17,388 I thought we weren't doing any more grunt work. 206 00:09:17,413 --> 00:09:20,233 Save your crying for bath time like the rest of us. 207 00:09:21,474 --> 00:09:22,959 The surgery was a success. 208 00:09:22,988 --> 00:09:25,998 Your foot and butt will make a full recovery. 209 00:09:26,123 --> 00:09:28,738 However, I'd like to keep you overnight just for observation. 210 00:09:28,763 --> 00:09:30,241 Is that really necessary? 211 00:09:30,266 --> 00:09:31,963 Don't worry. You won't be bothered. 212 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:32,926 When we learned you were coming, 213 00:09:32,951 --> 00:09:34,586 we moved all the other patients on this floor 214 00:09:34,611 --> 00:09:35,707 to the wet basement. 215 00:09:35,732 --> 00:09:37,758 If you want the whole building to yourself, 216 00:09:37,783 --> 00:09:40,107 we can have them thrown out to the streets. 217 00:09:40,898 --> 00:09:42,311 Hmm. No, they can stay. 218 00:09:42,336 --> 00:09:44,623 Anyways, it'll just be you and Nurse Richard here. 219 00:09:45,295 --> 00:09:46,847 I'll take it from here, Doc. 220 00:09:54,758 --> 00:09:55,962 You don't remember me? 221 00:09:56,407 --> 00:09:57,580 I'm afraid I don't. 222 00:09:58,523 --> 00:10:01,020 I used to work at Hampton DeVille. 223 00:10:01,463 --> 00:10:03,483 Wrote a funny tweet about a hurricane, 224 00:10:03,508 --> 00:10:04,887 then you fired me. 225 00:10:05,473 --> 00:10:07,250 If you say so. Now, if you don't... 226 00:10:07,275 --> 00:10:10,379 You know, my life took a real dark turn after that. 227 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,462 Started drinking, gambling. 228 00:10:13,768 --> 00:10:15,634 I got into dogfighting. 229 00:10:15,659 --> 00:10:18,744 Those hounds tore my ass up good. 230 00:10:19,172 --> 00:10:23,051 Funny thing is, I blamed you for all of it. 231 00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:26,098 I vowed if I ever saw you again, 232 00:10:26,403 --> 00:10:30,676 I would do terrible, terrible things to you. 233 00:10:33,847 --> 00:10:35,106 But then I found God. 234 00:10:36,034 --> 00:10:39,112 Stitched my ass up, enrolled in nursing school, 235 00:10:39,137 --> 00:10:41,669 dedicated my life to helping other people. 236 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:43,828 Now here I am. 237 00:10:45,034 --> 00:10:46,103 All 'cause of you. 238 00:10:46,357 --> 00:10:47,235 So... 239 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:49,621 thank you. 240 00:10:49,979 --> 00:10:51,644 Glad I was able to help. 241 00:10:51,931 --> 00:10:53,733 You know, when I saw you 242 00:10:53,758 --> 00:10:55,994 admitted into the hospital today, 243 00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:58,344 I immediately knew 244 00:10:58,413 --> 00:11:02,164 that it was all part of God's master plan 245 00:11:02,396 --> 00:11:04,680 so that I can do some good 246 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,492 and make you pay 247 00:11:06,517 --> 00:11:08,457 for all the evil that you've done to the world. 248 00:11:08,482 --> 00:11:10,403 Oh, wait, no, no! What are you doing? 249 00:11:10,653 --> 00:11:12,448 Ooh! That's... that's just... 250 00:11:18,232 --> 00:11:19,914 Okay. What else? 251 00:11:20,112 --> 00:11:21,699 Christian's responsible for turning 9/11 252 00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,137 into a commercial holiday. 253 00:11:23,162 --> 00:11:25,473 How could we forget Remember Day? 254 00:11:25,498 --> 00:11:26,263 What else? 255 00:11:26,288 --> 00:11:28,067 I hit a fisherman with my truck 256 00:11:28,092 --> 00:11:29,180 a few nights back. 257 00:11:29,205 --> 00:11:30,954 We could pin that on Christian if you want. 258 00:11:31,206 --> 00:11:32,482 - Toss it on the board. - Wonderful! 259 00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:34,149 Okay. What else? 260 00:11:34,174 --> 00:11:36,672 Well, I guess there's the hurricane machine. 261 00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:39,387 Says a lot that it took us this long to even get to it. 262 00:11:39,553 --> 00:11:41,310 To be fair, Kate, you were pretty involved 263 00:11:41,335 --> 00:11:42,764 in those hurricane machine meetings. 264 00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,310 I don't know if you can pin that entirely on Christian. 265 00:11:44,335 --> 00:11:45,990 - Hold your tongue! - No. 266 00:11:46,103 --> 00:11:47,862 John, he's right. 267 00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:49,388 If Christian is going down, 268 00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:51,551 he's gonna wanna take us down with him. 269 00:11:51,576 --> 00:11:53,446 We should see what there is in writing. 270 00:11:53,655 --> 00:11:56,724 Okay, so the first email about the hurricane machine 271 00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:58,548 was sent by... 272 00:11:59,362 --> 00:12:00,362 Kate. 273 00:12:00,517 --> 00:12:02,793 "Let's get the ball rolling 274 00:12:02,818 --> 00:12:05,404 on this fantastic hurricane machine idea." 275 00:12:05,429 --> 00:12:07,379 And then I responded with, 276 00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:09,129 "Count me in." 277 00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:12,156 Okay, but Christian's gotta be on here somewhere, right? 278 00:12:12,181 --> 00:12:13,112 Let's see. 279 00:12:13,137 --> 00:12:14,655 Uh, here's Jake. 280 00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:17,404 "I'm in as long as we test it on New Jersey first." 281 00:12:17,429 --> 00:12:19,256 To which Kevin replied... 282 00:12:19,295 --> 00:12:20,433 "LOL." 283 00:12:20,541 --> 00:12:22,541 Christian's not even on this thread. 284 00:12:22,689 --> 00:12:24,400 That delegating motherfucker. 285 00:12:24,425 --> 00:12:27,033 If Christian goes down, we all go down. 286 00:12:27,058 --> 00:12:28,369 I'm not going back to the clink. 287 00:12:28,394 --> 00:12:30,147 No one's going to the clink, you idiot! 288 00:12:30,172 --> 00:12:32,965 If I go back to the clink, I'm taking you with me, Katie. 289 00:12:33,069 --> 00:12:34,586 And you, too, Johnny Boy! 290 00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:35,741 Kevin, don't you dare threaten 291 00:12:35,766 --> 00:12:37,404 to put me in the clink, you fucking murderer! 292 00:12:37,429 --> 00:12:38,921 Everyone stop calling it the clink! 293 00:12:38,946 --> 00:12:41,181 That's what they call it in the slammer. 294 00:12:41,206 --> 00:12:42,664 Guys, can we please stop arguing 295 00:12:42,689 --> 00:12:43,758 and just order some food? 296 00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:46,064 We're all just on edge because Christian ruined breakfast. 297 00:12:46,089 --> 00:12:48,802 Okay, let's just cross hurricane machine off the list 298 00:12:48,827 --> 00:12:50,172 and order some food. 299 00:12:50,197 --> 00:12:51,971 What does everybody want? 300 00:12:53,109 --> 00:12:54,626 Well, I don't want any fish. 301 00:12:54,651 --> 00:12:56,272 Well, great, Kev. That narrows it down. 302 00:12:57,241 --> 00:13:01,341 Look who got a visit from the dinner fairy. 303 00:13:04,146 --> 00:13:06,514 Man, what the fuck is going on? 304 00:13:07,310 --> 00:13:08,655 Help! Help! 305 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,162 Help! Help! 306 00:13:10,187 --> 00:13:11,670 Hel... 307 00:13:11,827 --> 00:13:13,862 right, I'm the only nurse on duty. 308 00:13:13,931 --> 00:13:15,464 I don't know about you, 309 00:13:15,489 --> 00:13:16,931 but I'm feeling a little naughty. 310 00:13:17,179 --> 00:13:19,425 What do you say we start with dessert? 311 00:13:26,483 --> 00:13:27,756 That's good. 312 00:13:28,753 --> 00:13:29,913 Oh, I get it. 313 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,415 You see me as some... 314 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:37,978 evil billionaire who's ruining the world with my evil corporation. 315 00:13:38,142 --> 00:13:40,633 Well, grow the fuck up. 316 00:13:40,658 --> 00:13:42,492 That hurricane machine everyone's so mad about 317 00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:44,689 employed thousands of hard-working people 318 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:47,103 until that bonehead Bonan Marrow had to butt in 319 00:13:47,172 --> 00:13:48,206 and get them all fired. 320 00:13:48,231 --> 00:13:50,411 He's evil! I'm the good guy! 321 00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:52,482 Will you stop making airplane sounds? 322 00:13:53,603 --> 00:13:55,603 This plane is off course! 323 00:13:55,758 --> 00:13:58,310 It's gonna make a crash landing! 324 00:14:02,397 --> 00:14:03,703 Oat Zone. 325 00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,286 Another for Barley Barn. 326 00:14:08,965 --> 00:14:10,216 And... 327 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,154 Pesto Palace? 328 00:14:12,179 --> 00:14:13,950 God damn it! 329 00:14:14,034 --> 00:14:15,551 It's another tie! 330 00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:18,793 Okay, who keeps throwing away their vote on Pesto Palace? 331 00:14:18,818 --> 00:14:21,018 It's a third-party candidate and you know it! 332 00:14:21,043 --> 00:14:22,642 I vote on principle! 333 00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:24,344 Why don't we just order a bunch of pizzas? 334 00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:26,379 What are we, a softball team? 335 00:14:26,404 --> 00:14:28,154 Okay, you know what? 336 00:14:28,179 --> 00:14:29,285 I'm in charge! 337 00:14:29,310 --> 00:14:31,448 And we're going to Oat Zone! 338 00:14:31,517 --> 00:14:33,068 What happened to being a democratic leader? 339 00:14:33,137 --> 00:14:34,689 Shut up and tell me what kind of oats you want! 340 00:14:34,714 --> 00:14:35,862 Rolled or steel cut? 341 00:14:35,931 --> 00:14:37,689 Well, Oat Zone's closed. 342 00:14:37,714 --> 00:14:38,818 Fuck! 343 00:14:38,931 --> 00:14:39,975 Well, I'm thrilled, 344 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,689 because I voted for Barley Barn. 345 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,860 - That's closed too. - God! Jesus Christ! 346 00:14:45,132 --> 00:14:47,641 Like no one ever wanted barley after 2:00 a.m.? 347 00:14:47,710 --> 00:14:49,561 They're leaving money on the farm-to-table! 348 00:14:49,586 --> 00:14:52,664 Matt, Jake, go out and get us some food! 349 00:14:52,689 --> 00:14:54,674 I thought you said we didn't have to do grunt work anymore. 350 00:14:54,699 --> 00:14:55,940 You go do the goddamn food, you son of a bitch! 351 00:14:55,965 --> 00:14:56,965 Go and get us the fucking food! 352 00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:59,507 - Go! - Get up and get us food! 353 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:02,492 What I'm remembering now is that being powerless sucks. 354 00:15:02,517 --> 00:15:04,842 Yeah. I definitely want money. And power. 355 00:15:04,867 --> 00:15:06,385 I don't know what Buddhists are talking about. 356 00:15:06,410 --> 00:15:09,785 Maybe you can only be a Buddhist if you already have money and power? 357 00:15:09,918 --> 00:15:12,310 Yeah, like how celebrities only care about the environment 358 00:15:12,335 --> 00:15:14,324 once they're bored of having sex with each other. 359 00:15:15,273 --> 00:15:16,262 Wait, Matt. 360 00:15:17,268 --> 00:15:18,682 We do have power. 361 00:15:18,931 --> 00:15:20,137 If we go to Christian right now, 362 00:15:20,162 --> 00:15:21,542 we could tell him what Kate and John are up to 363 00:15:21,567 --> 00:15:22,774 and sabotage the coup. 364 00:15:22,852 --> 00:15:24,472 I bet he'd promote us as a reward. 365 00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:25,997 That's genius. 366 00:15:26,022 --> 00:15:28,354 We'll get everything we want, then become Buddhists. 367 00:15:28,379 --> 00:15:29,561 Then have a ton of sex, 368 00:15:29,586 --> 00:15:31,083 then start caring about the environment. 369 00:15:31,108 --> 00:15:32,188 Then... 370 00:15:33,318 --> 00:15:34,491 No, Matt, that's it. 371 00:15:36,388 --> 00:15:38,392 Don't you ever just wish there was more? 372 00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,293 And then I wrote, 373 00:15:41,572 --> 00:15:43,549 "Sell consumer data to the Chinese government 374 00:15:43,574 --> 00:15:46,040 to disrupt the next presidential election? 375 00:15:46,414 --> 00:15:47,888 I'm down to clown." 376 00:15:48,521 --> 00:15:50,072 To which Kevin replied... 377 00:15:50,275 --> 00:15:51,482 "LOL." 378 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:52,521 "LOL." 379 00:15:53,874 --> 00:15:55,701 Looks like we're complicit in this one too. 380 00:15:58,172 --> 00:15:59,275 Oh, great. 381 00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:01,059 At least we're saving energy. 382 00:16:01,084 --> 00:16:03,696 There's one thing Hampton DeVille's doing that's not evil. 383 00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:06,961 I'm gonna say something controversial. 384 00:16:08,103 --> 00:16:11,344 I don't think Hampton DeVille is evil. 385 00:16:11,369 --> 00:16:15,737 I mean, what even is Hampton DeVille? 386 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:17,388 A corporation. 387 00:16:17,413 --> 00:16:20,389 Right, but what is a corporation? 388 00:16:20,732 --> 00:16:22,008 A building? 389 00:16:22,319 --> 00:16:23,068 Money. 390 00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:25,517 A group of people... Maroon 5... 391 00:16:25,542 --> 00:16:26,975 - Maroon 5. - Maroon 5! 392 00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:29,813 That's what I'm talking about. 393 00:16:30,211 --> 00:16:32,660 What the fuck 394 00:16:32,685 --> 00:16:35,430 is Maroon 5? 395 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,786 It's an imaginary concept 396 00:16:37,811 --> 00:16:40,590 made up by a sociopath, 397 00:16:40,929 --> 00:16:42,687 just like Hampton DeVille. 398 00:16:42,712 --> 00:16:46,816 It's a triangle we ascribe meaning to. 399 00:16:46,908 --> 00:16:50,097 But we're the ones who drive to the office in the morning 400 00:16:50,122 --> 00:16:52,764 to have meetings about hurricane machines. 401 00:16:53,768 --> 00:16:55,768 Maybe we're the ones to blame. 402 00:16:55,875 --> 00:16:59,806 We did all this evil shit for a fucking triangle! 403 00:16:59,837 --> 00:17:01,181 Okay. 404 00:17:01,206 --> 00:17:03,620 You know, it has been fun catching up, 405 00:17:03,645 --> 00:17:06,231 but I think it's time we wrap this puppy up. 406 00:17:06,256 --> 00:17:08,978 You know, I'd tell you that this is gonna be painless, 407 00:17:09,003 --> 00:17:11,969 but I graduated at the bottom of my class in nursing school, 408 00:17:11,994 --> 00:17:15,270 so I'm just gonna guess where your artery is. 409 00:17:15,379 --> 00:17:16,808 Christian, there's something we need... 410 00:17:17,888 --> 00:17:19,137 Richard? 411 00:17:19,856 --> 00:17:21,275 Oh, my God. Hey, man. 412 00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:22,781 Uh, hey, guys! 413 00:17:22,806 --> 00:17:24,023 You're a doctor now? 414 00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:25,632 Nurse, but yeah. 415 00:17:25,657 --> 00:17:27,054 I fucking love nurses. 416 00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,570 Best people on Earth. 417 00:17:28,716 --> 00:17:31,043 Give us a hug, my dude! 418 00:17:31,068 --> 00:17:32,655 - Come on! - It's great to see you, man. 419 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:33,921 - Yeah, you guys. - Yeah. 420 00:17:33,946 --> 00:17:35,285 God, what's up, man? I love pink on you. 421 00:17:35,310 --> 00:17:36,724 You know, you boys are just in time. 422 00:17:36,749 --> 00:17:37,729 I was about to leave. 423 00:17:37,754 --> 00:17:39,457 Now, now, remember your doctor... 424 00:17:39,482 --> 00:17:41,000 Oh, no, no, no! I feel right as rain! 425 00:17:41,025 --> 00:17:42,330 Just untie these straps and let's go. 426 00:17:42,355 --> 00:17:44,286 All right. You heard the man. 427 00:17:44,311 --> 00:17:47,200 Wow, they really want you to stay in your bed here. 428 00:17:47,225 --> 00:17:48,653 Like a prisoner or something. 429 00:17:52,153 --> 00:17:53,671 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. 430 00:17:53,849 --> 00:17:56,372 And so Kate and John are back at the office right now 431 00:17:56,397 --> 00:17:57,768 trying to stab you in the back. 432 00:17:57,793 --> 00:17:58,622 But they didn't count on us 433 00:17:58,647 --> 00:18:00,489 stabbing them in their backs first. 434 00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:02,377 Or wait, no. Maybe we did it second. 435 00:18:02,402 --> 00:18:03,857 Regardless, it's self-defense, 436 00:18:03,882 --> 00:18:05,825 so legally, we think we're in the clear. 437 00:18:11,934 --> 00:18:14,969 Seems like everyone has turned against me. 438 00:18:15,241 --> 00:18:16,695 Somewhere along the way, 439 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,508 I forgot what Hampton DeVille really is. 440 00:18:20,163 --> 00:18:21,656 It's people. 441 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,714 Good people, like the two of you. 442 00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:26,956 I'm afraid I don't even remember your names. 443 00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:30,237 - I'm Matt... - I need to start listening to people. 444 00:18:30,807 --> 00:18:33,541 Is there anything I can do to win everyone back? 445 00:18:43,338 --> 00:18:44,718 So it's decided. 446 00:18:44,752 --> 00:18:47,555 We're all gonna quit and stop working for a corporation. 447 00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:50,097 And just pray that God forgives us. 448 00:18:50,188 --> 00:18:52,533 Guess we have to move to the woods. 449 00:18:52,558 --> 00:18:54,593 Live off the land. 450 00:18:54,618 --> 00:18:56,792 We could gather lumber and sell it for money. 451 00:18:56,823 --> 00:18:58,099 We should incorporate. 452 00:18:58,339 --> 00:18:59,477 Avoid taxes. 453 00:18:59,502 --> 00:19:00,847 That's a great idea. 454 00:19:00,872 --> 00:19:02,682 Wait, no! 455 00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:04,903 Even if we quit, we can't escape! 456 00:19:04,928 --> 00:19:07,341 If only God would give us a sign. 457 00:19:15,565 --> 00:19:17,082 Christian's alive? 458 00:19:17,107 --> 00:19:18,314 You thought he was dead? 459 00:19:18,339 --> 00:19:21,684 No, I guess I just got caught up in the moment. 460 00:19:21,896 --> 00:19:24,316 I know everything you've been doing. 461 00:19:24,341 --> 00:19:26,613 Christian, we're sorry. It was all Kate! 462 00:19:26,638 --> 00:19:27,980 - John! - No. 463 00:19:28,394 --> 00:19:29,980 No, it's okay. 464 00:19:31,925 --> 00:19:33,393 Yesterday, 465 00:19:33,692 --> 00:19:37,119 I said there's no Hampton DeVille without me. 466 00:19:38,707 --> 00:19:40,603 But I was wrong. 467 00:19:41,345 --> 00:19:43,942 There's no Hampton DeVille 468 00:19:44,236 --> 00:19:45,723 without you. 469 00:19:46,931 --> 00:19:49,168 I only hope that you can find it in your hearts 470 00:19:49,193 --> 00:19:51,325 to accept my humble offering 471 00:19:52,477 --> 00:19:53,925 and forgive me. 472 00:19:58,379 --> 00:19:59,620 Dibs on jalapeņo cheddar! 473 00:19:59,645 --> 00:20:00,859 Wait! 474 00:20:02,195 --> 00:20:03,885 I want the jalapeņo cheddar. 475 00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:05,172 I'll maim you! 476 00:20:05,241 --> 00:20:06,413 I'll maim you all! 477 00:20:06,438 --> 00:20:07,614 Oh, not lox! 478 00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:11,393 There are two important matters left to discuss. 479 00:20:11,763 --> 00:20:13,291 First, 480 00:20:13,898 --> 00:20:15,001 I wouldn't be here 481 00:20:15,026 --> 00:20:17,200 without two very courageous people... 482 00:20:20,163 --> 00:20:21,715 Jake and Matt. 483 00:20:21,862 --> 00:20:23,137 Jake 484 00:20:23,206 --> 00:20:24,669 and, of course, 485 00:20:24,896 --> 00:20:25,961 Bradley, 486 00:20:26,241 --> 00:20:29,581 and I think it's time for a long overdue promotion. 487 00:20:29,606 --> 00:20:31,019 From this moment forward, 488 00:20:31,219 --> 00:20:33,357 you are no longer unpaid interns. 489 00:20:33,382 --> 00:20:35,066 You are now... 490 00:20:35,279 --> 00:20:37,417 junior executives in training. 491 00:20:37,526 --> 00:20:38,575 Hear, hear. 492 00:20:38,996 --> 00:20:40,060 Bravo! 493 00:20:40,594 --> 00:20:43,595 Well, at least he sort of knows one of our names now. 494 00:20:43,620 --> 00:20:44,689 Things are looking up. 495 00:20:44,758 --> 00:20:46,000 And lastly, 496 00:20:46,025 --> 00:20:48,906 I think we need to have a very serious conversation 497 00:20:48,931 --> 00:20:50,820 about what happened before 498 00:20:50,845 --> 00:20:52,156 when I... 499 00:20:53,609 --> 00:20:55,299 broke wind. 500 00:20:58,372 --> 00:20:59,594 Wasn't that funny? 501 00:21:04,458 --> 00:21:05,817 And yet none of you laughed! 502 00:21:05,842 --> 00:21:07,192 We were scared! 503 00:21:07,217 --> 00:21:08,981 John said, "No!" 504 00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:10,927 I did! I did! 505 00:21:42,482 --> 00:21:43,586 Open the door! 506 00:21:44,702 --> 00:21:46,667 You're gonna kill us all! 507 00:21:51,853 --> 00:21:54,068 Sometimes, life can be so painful, 508 00:21:54,093 --> 00:21:55,943 you just have to laugh! 509 00:22:06,177 --> 00:22:10,544 Gee, honey, we'd have fun!