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_
Cheers, Eileen.
- Yeah, what can I get you? - Two of those please.
- That'd be great. - _
And the jelly is flying everywhere.
Eileen has Melinda down, but oh...
- Funny. - I know.
Brilliant.
Thank you very much.
Okay.
- Hey, hey. - Hey.
How are you?
If you need your alcohol dressed up like kid's party food,
you're probably too young to drink it.
_
What?
What's wrong?
It's this roster. I don't seem to have any shifts next week.
This is so weird for me, but Veronica gave me all of your shifts.
But I've never worked anywhere else.
She said something about wanting to attract a younger crowd.
I showed her some of my ideas for the place.
What, like this?
Yeah awesome, hey.
And it gave me another great idea.
We're gonna have a jelly wrestling competition next weekend.
It's gonna be freaking hilarious.
Come with me.
_
This all used to be in the main bar.
_
Maybe you could teach me?
I'm supposed to be in it,
but I've no idea what I am doing.
Perhaps I could talk to Veronica for you.
You know,
about your shifts.
It's gonna be slippery.
So don't fear it.
And don't fight it.
So...
what happened that last year?
Well, Melinda wanted that crown so badly.
She'd do anything.
It was the finals,
just me and her.
She went too far.
There's no real rules in jelly wrestling, but...
you never take off another woman's pants.
It sort of all fell apart after that.
I never really got a chance to win back my crown.
Come on. Now roll, roll.
You should enter.
Oh, my time's over.
I've got to move on.
Yeah, well. We won't be doing it like you did in those days, that's for sure.
It's just, you know,
for a laugh.
At least you respected the game.
I wish I could just jump in there
and wipe the smug look off your face.
But I can't, can I?
Not since I've seen what it could do to a woman.
Eileen!
And tonight these wicked women of wobble
will be fighting it out for the chance to become crowned
Queen of the Gelatine!
Susie Tsunami,
Cha Cha Treuse,
Tonia Hard-Arse,
Betty Buttercup,
Amy Starlight
and Queen of Tarts,
Bam-Bam,
Annie the Assassin
and Issy Inferno.
And for our first bout we will have
Betty Buttercup and Amy Starlight.
Jesus, I hope she doesn't win.
I've got money on her to lose.
Hey, I just wanna ask you what's the story with me shifts?
Oh, don't ask me. Amy's in charge of all that.
She reckons I'm better off out here.
Check it out. I found it out the back.
Isn't it wild?
Hey, this is the blokes.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, our next...
Is that your character?
Funny as.
Queen of Tarts
and Cha Cha Treuse.
Eileen?
Just let her go, let her go, it's all right.
Oh, and she's gone through the legs.
And we're going for the Heimlich.
Eileen, she's doing a fabulous job.
And one, and two, and three.
Eileen has won the bout!
Eileen is the winner for this round.
And now
there's only two champions of the goop left.
Eileen...
and Amy Starlight.
I really wish this stuff didn't keep happening to me but
Veronica really wants me to win.
She thinks I'm gonna look better on the posters and websites and stuff.
keep down your opponent for three seconds to win the bout.
Let's make it clean, ladies.
Take your positions.
Are you ready?
And they're going for it.
Eileen just swats Amy aside like a pesky insect.
Amy back on her feet getting ready for another grapple.
But oh, down again.
Eileen's just toying with her.
Down they go but this is just textbook stuff from Eileen.
The elbow.
Now Eileen has Amy pinned and Amy's in trouble...
Okay,
they've had their show.
Now back down.
Eileen, goes it alone.
She wants that crown. She can smell it.
This could be all over in the count of three.
One, and two, and...
Sorry, Eileen.
That's a one...
and two...
Come on, Eileen!
This is not pretty.
Fuck.
And now a good, old-fashioned dunking in the jelly,
which she probably deserves.
And again, and again.
Eileen, Eileen, Eileen, Eileen, Eileen.
Well, reckon that's plenty of dunking, Eileen.
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