CREDITS
_
Now keep the arms high.
Turn your shoulder to the left.
_
Hey, Roger.
_
- Coffee. - Hm, yes.
Quit your job.
_
Morning.
She's very doglike and then in the next photo,
she's less doglike...
Yeah, I just don't know why she tells me shit like that, I don't know.
Anna, chop, chop!
She's like a snail.
Hey, Anna.
Hi, Roger.
Just your usual shave today?
Yeah.
Maybe one day I'll dye it green.
Yeah, or pink.
Or plaid.
I would.
Hey, Anna, maybe you could not suck at sweeping today.
- It was nice to see you. - It's good to see you too.
I wouldn't quit if I were you.
Sorry, what?
Who are you?
Hey.
- Wait. Who are you? - I don't know.
Sorry, hey, Karen.
- Wait, what is it again? - Please stop.
Am I another version of her
or like the tiny lady Jesus,
whose meant to save the universe?
You're both, sweetie, great job, thank you.
Hi, I'm Karen from the DPR.
- You're coming with me. - No, what, why should I?
I have your summons right here.
I'm sorry, is she like a future version of me
or something?
I think I'm younger than you.
Every decision you've ever made
breaks off a different version of reality,
sort of like an alternate universe,
there are many, many yous and many, many mes,
you just happen to have met one of yours, eh?
- What? - You're coming with me, Boo Boo.
_
Oh, okay, she's the clumsy one.
Here at the DPR,
we help parallel refugees integrate into society.
DPR?
Department of Parallel Resettlement.
Back in the early nineties, someone discovered a worm hole here,
so the government took over the building.
Like I said, it's not gonna happen today.
Rubbish, here, you can stick it!
I told you.
Wowee!
Well, how long you're here...
Wowee!
I brought you all the paperwork you asked for.
Basically we help resettle parallel refugees
into the same occupation and relative lifestyle
they had in their own universe,
although usually we make sure they don't run into our version.
Hey, hey!
They're trying to stop the good one.
I'm sorry, I don't, sorry.
Lady, from the end comes rebirth!
Security, get him out of here.
There has been quite a few of yous cracking through lately.
- Really? - Like a lot.
Like how many of them?
I'd say about 30 in the last six months.
And like what would you say is like an average for that?
Ooh, one in a million every 28 years.
Alright, which one is acceptable for dinner?
Horse.
No.
Parallels are dumb.
Usually they arrive because of a crack or a glitch in the fold,
but when we get this many of one person,
honey, we keep an eye on our version, okay.
I'll be damned.
Another one?
Not good, Anna, not good.
Wait, no, I didn't do anything.
- Where am I? - Wall, please, ma'am.
- What's going on? - Right over there to the left, just back up just a little bit.
No, what is going on?
- Got it. - Look, I don't even know where I am, where am I?
- Who's that? - Yeah, well, you know this makes 31.
I've got to call my boss.
What the hell is going on? Who are you guys?
What are you, like a sadder me and an older me?
Whatever.
- Hi. - What the fu... are we dead?
Hey, why are we different, if we're the same?
You are what you choose, Anna, you are what you choose.
Excuse me, all I did was order a latte.
Well, welcome to Universe 4.0.2.3.1.
Marshall, could you get out here
and get these two new parallels processed for resettlement.
Real Anna, you come with me.
Oh, excuse, you know, I'm gonna need some answers here, you guys.
Meet Daryl Peterson.
Daryl was zapped from Universe 24.2.7
over to Universe 3.2.7.146.,
he wasn't the only one.
17 Daryl Petersons arrived within four months,
turns out the original Daryl Peterson
had planned a trip to Guatemala.
This particular Daryl Peterson had never even left the country,
so we at the DPR feared that this type of pattern break
could be of great consequence,
his universe could've imploded,
so we ordered him to cancel his trip.
So what happened?
Against orders, Daryl Peterson flew his happy ass to Guatemala anyway.
Oh, did he have a nice time?
Does it look like he had a nice time?
Oh, my God!
By taking matters into his own hands,
he imploded that universe and everyone in it.
He broke pattern at a time when he should've kept it,
this is not an isolated case here, Anna.
Okay, you can turn it off please.
Look, I'm not gonna let that happen to you.
All these yous being funneled in, we're pretty sure
that if you break pattern in any way right now,
you could cause a kink of the continuum
and then that's it, our universe, bye bye, be gone.
Me, like if I?
You, if you.
How can you be sure?
Honey, there are 30 yous rolling around here,
you don't see 30 mes, do you?
I don't have a pattern.
Yeah, you do.
I'm sorry, I didn't get the time to have breakfast
this morning, I got some leftover spaghetti.
Do you remember what happened when you met your first parallel?
I don't know, I,
I had like a deja vu.
Sort of deja vu, we call it a resi vu,
when two parallels come into contact for the first time,
they experience a forced memory of a choice split,
think of it in a kind of a,
I don't know, existential residue.
I'm sorry, I don't,
I don't really know how I'm meant to think in those kinds of terms,
- it doesn't make sense to me. - I understand,
I understand, nevermind, what we need to do right now
is go see what the other yous are up to
and that way we'll figure out your pattern, alright?
Come on, let's roll.
Wait,
are you saying that my others all stayed in Los Angeles?
What can I say, you like sunny weather.
_
Alright, there it is.
_
- Just a trim. - Shave it.
- Anna, can I call you Anna? - Yeah.
Chapter six, oh, it's just amazing.
Thank you.
- Alright, who should I make this out to? - _
_
- Do you wanna do it? - Do you wanna do it?
- No. - Okay.
_
Come on,
do it!
Come on!
_
- Gnarly! - Do it!
_
Okay, so you're the cautious one,
you're the one who makes decisions based on what's safest,
what's logical, you keep that up,
you've got a good life, good friends, a good job,
baby, you're living the American dream.
Don't change a thing
and I promise you all this will blow over,
the flow of Annas will dry right on up
and it'll all go back to normal, okay?
Okay.
_
Okay, honey, what do you want?
Should I have a vodka diet coke or white wine spritzer?
Dude, I need you to help me, this is too hard for me to do on my own.
Okay, vodka diet coke.
Yeah, but it's Wednesday
and on Wednesdays sometimes I have white wine spritzers.
Unless you had a really hard day.
Well, yeah, I mean, I did have a hard day, but I only had a hard day, because I met like 30 different versions of myself,
so I'm not really sure if that warrants me having a vodka diet coke
or if I should have a white wine spritzer.
Okay, I think you would've made whatever decision
you were meant to, whether they came along or not.
Okay, so you're saying I should have a vodka diet coke?
I don't know.
Okay, I'll give you a minute.
You do realize that this is like a real thing, right?
Hm-mm, this is like Schrödinger's cat,
you're dead and you're alive at the same time.
Wait, or is that string theory?
Dude, it's a nightmare is what it is.
Honestly...
I met all these other versions of myself today
and they're all better than me, like I'm the dud.
What about the sign twirler?
Dude, she was really happy and like really thin.
Well...
you've finally realized your true potential.
Thank you.
Oh, no,
not like that.
I mean,
you've realized what you could be
and now you're burdened with the fate
of never being able to reach it.
Erin, my fate is to keep being boring,
the fate of the universe literally depends on it.
Yeah, seven billion people.
You wanna get some tacos?
No, I don't wanna get tacos.
Alright.
Or would I get tacos?
Would I?
I'm gonna go with my first instinct, no, absolutely not.
Okay.
Who knew?
Why would you?
_
Like a refugee hostel?
I don't do hostels.
Oh, my God, that's them!
- Yeah, I'm just saying. - Hey, you guys.
- Hi. - Hey.
I'm Erin, do you guys want some tacos?
That is so typical of you, Erin.
What makes you so special?
- Nothing, nothing. - Yeah?
Well, we're stuck in this shithole universe because of you.
Um, excuse me, this universe rocks.
Please shut up.
Did you see that?
Oh, you poor baby.
You really shouldn't let her talk to you like that, you know.
- Yeah. - Yeah, but I'm just trying not to break pattern.
Pattern shmattern.
Your other selves are kind of dicks, dude.
Okay.
Oh, my God, no!
"Team Zombie," one level.
Erin, honestly you ask me this every night
and every night I say no, you know I...
No, sometimes, sometimes you say yes.
- No, I don't. I hate "Team Zombie." - Yes, you do.
Okay, if you play with me for one hour, I will...
- Dude. - I will let you kill us all.
You mean like in the game, right?
No, I mean like in real life.
Dude, stop it, don't even.
- Oh, my God, we won't even feel it! - Stop!
It'll be like this moment
and then this moment will pass.
Besides, like there's so much pollution nowadays anyways,
planet's looking at a slow, painful death, so.
You're just saying this, so I'll play your stupid game with you.
I mean, you've let me stay on your couch for a month.
If we're being real, it's been a year.
Yeah, see, that's, that's, that's too long.
I mean, I guess,
I guess I do say yes sometimes.
Yeah, you do.
Let's do this.
- "Team Zombie." - Pick it up.
- You're the worst ever. - I'm trying, I'm trying.
Asshole!
That's fucked up!
Oh, yeah! Oh!
Oh, cheerleaders!
Yes! Ah, you won!
This is the best game ever.
Stop it, you're an ass.
- I'm resilient. - Oh, oh, oh!
Maybe he was right.
Who?
That weird guy from the DPR.
They're trying to stop the good one.
Maybe he's right, maybe this is all meant to be, you know, maybe...
maybe I'm the one.
Sweep the arms high.
Pinky is turned in.
Okay.
Coffee.
Hm, thanks.
Blow up the universe.
And so he looks at it. And said, "Nice ass."
Sometimes I look at him and I think what a cute, little dog.
Nice shirt.
The most beautiful, little dog there ever was.
Started a whole big fight,
- and then I had to go... - And she looks at me, and turned
her little dog head and I think you're so beautiful.
I just look at her sometimes and I think I love you.
Love your outfit, Anna.
Cute.
Jesus Christ, pick up the pace.
You know, my station won't sweep itself, Anna.
I can't do this anymore.
You can't treat people like that.
Look, I'm a human being and I have a voice
and I deserve to be happy,
so I quit.
What happened?
Roger.
No!
I wanna make shell art,
I've only ever wanted to make shell art!
_
- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -