1
00:00:01,867 --> 00:00:03,327
Twenty years ago,

2
00:00:04,174 --> 00:00:06,873
Hampton DeVille was formed
when my company merged

3
00:00:06,898 --> 00:00:09,676
with another company owned
by a one Parker Hampton.

4
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:12,112
Now he and I could
never see eye to eye.

5
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:15,574
Hampton is 5'2" and blind.

6
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:17,826
I'll spare you the details.
Suffice to say,

7
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,056
he and I got into
a petty disagreement

8
00:00:20,081 --> 00:00:22,185
over a measly $1 million.

9
00:00:22,210 --> 00:00:24,506
Now, Hampton was raised poor,

10
00:00:24,531 --> 00:00:27,044
so he's always counted
nickels and cents

11
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:29,356
like some Dickensian
penny pincher

12
00:00:29,381 --> 00:00:31,732
even after he was
a billionaire many times over.

13
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:34,401
That miserable little prick
has made it clear

14
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:37,157
that if I don't pay him
that million dollars,

15
00:00:38,179 --> 00:00:40,415
he's going to come
after me with all he's got.

16
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:44,455
So I need you boys to deliver
this briefcase to him

17
00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:47,322
at the DeVille Suites
in Jackson Lake,

18
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:48,682
six hours north.

19
00:00:48,917 --> 00:00:51,960
Now this is extremely
important to me.

20
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,686
I care about this more than...

21
00:00:58,061 --> 00:01:01,022
- Family?
- No, not family.

22
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:04,665
- Friends?
- I'm more of a "Seinfeld" guy.

23
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,508
- This is so hard.
- Yeah.

24
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,068
What is important in life?

25
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:10,195
The,
the power of seduction?

26
00:01:10,220 --> 00:01:12,072
- No.
- I kinda care about football

27
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:14,208
because it's the only thing I
can talk about with my father.

28
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:15,509
Gourmet dining?

29
00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:16,655
Well, I'll give it
some more thought.

30
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,147
The point is...

31
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:21,616
Don't fuck this up.

32
00:01:24,101 --> 00:01:26,001
Okay,
but what happens if we do?

33
00:01:38,535 --> 00:01:44,777
credits

34
00:01:51,668 --> 00:01:52,948
Jesus.

35
00:01:58,084 --> 00:01:59,786
Combos?
Really, Jake?

36
00:01:59,811 --> 00:02:01,990
Don't judge me.
I'm in vacation mode.

37
00:02:02,107 --> 00:02:03,489
Some people cheat on
their significant others

38
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:04,491
while they're out of town.

39
00:02:04,516 --> 00:02:05,592
I eat Combos.

40
00:02:05,617 --> 00:02:07,115
I got a Lotto scratcher
as well.

41
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:08,962
Well, there goes $2
you'll never get back.

42
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,198
Wait, what?
It's never coming back?

43
00:02:11,374 --> 00:02:13,369
No!
My $2!

44
00:02:13,556 --> 00:02:15,236
Well, if you don't start
thinking about these things now,

45
00:02:15,261 --> 00:02:16,556
you won't have any money
for retirement.

46
00:02:16,581 --> 00:02:17,970
How will I ever
be able to retire now?

47
00:02:17,995 --> 00:02:20,823
I'm so worried! I'll have to
work until long after I'm dead!

48
00:02:28,838 --> 00:02:30,485
No, thanks.
We got it.

49
00:02:30,510 --> 00:02:32,386
No problem, sir.

50
00:02:32,572 --> 00:02:34,166
Have a great stay.

51
00:02:35,431 --> 00:02:37,399
You've got
to stay on your toes.

52
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,293
If you're not careful,
hotels will bleed you dry.

53
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:41,336
I was gonna tip her.
Jesus Christ, man.

54
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:42,481
The whole point of hotels

55
00:02:42,506 --> 00:02:44,207
is to make other people
do stuff for you.

56
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:46,200
It's like being a kid before
you realize your parents

57
00:02:46,225 --> 00:02:48,716
are human beings and you're
destroying their lives.

58
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:52,229
Here are your keys. And all
I need now is a credit card.

59
00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:54,383
Wait, I thought the room
was paid for.

60
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:56,886
Yes, the card covers you
in case of incidentals.

61
00:02:56,911 --> 00:02:59,324
For example, you might
incidentally enjoy

62
00:02:59,349 --> 00:03:02,082
some of our hotel's
top-shelf pornography,

63
00:03:02,435 --> 00:03:06,224
or you might incidentally
destroy one of our fine toilets.

64
00:03:06,249 --> 00:03:08,177
We're on vacation.
Maybe we'll do both.

65
00:03:08,307 --> 00:03:09,932
Jake, can you give him
your credit card?

66
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,260
I drove!

67
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,661
You're gonna be okay,
buddy.

68
00:03:15,010 --> 00:03:16,345
Who's my big boy?

69
00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,232
- I'm your big boy.
- Correct.

70
00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:20,067
And there's a note
here for you

71
00:03:20,068 --> 00:03:21,935
from someone named Hampton.

72
00:03:27,288 --> 00:03:31,112
_

73
00:03:31,136 --> 00:03:34,528
_

74
00:03:34,553 --> 00:03:36,668
Sweet. We have the
whole night to ourselves.

75
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,920
Hey, where's the luggage?
Where's the briefcase?

76
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,722
I got them right here, sir.

77
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:45,000
You slick fuck.

78
00:03:45,134 --> 00:03:47,328
Elevator's this way,
gentlemen.

79
00:03:48,257 --> 00:03:50,152
I drove,
so you're tipping her.

80
00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:58,447
By the way, I highly
recommend you check out

81
00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:00,240
the pornos
if you get the chance.

82
00:04:00,265 --> 00:04:01,551
They're top-shelf.

83
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,811
Do you happen
to have change for a 20?

84
00:04:04,836 --> 00:04:07,806
I actually don't.
Sorry, sir.

85
00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:10,725
Not a problem.

86
00:04:11,978 --> 00:04:13,005
Here you go.

87
00:04:26,170 --> 00:04:27,246
Thank you, sir.

88
00:04:32,165 --> 00:04:33,753
Locked up in
an office all day,

89
00:04:33,778 --> 00:04:36,527
you forget how breathtaking
the natural world can be.

90
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,977
What do you say
we hit the hot tub?

91
00:04:39,002 --> 00:04:41,368
I bet she did have change.
She's a bellhop.

92
00:04:41,393 --> 00:04:43,229
People give her
small bills all day.

93
00:04:43,254 --> 00:04:43,984
Relax.

94
00:04:44,009 --> 00:04:45,636
You got grifted for 20 bucks.
So what?

95
00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:47,832
Are you really going to let
that ruin the rest of your trip?

96
00:04:48,110 --> 00:04:49,457
I can't help it.

97
00:04:49,482 --> 00:04:51,293
That's how I was raised.

98
00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:53,934
My mom grew up poor,

99
00:04:54,058 --> 00:04:58,002
or her mom did, so my mom
still pretended we were poor

100
00:04:58,027 --> 00:04:59,777
even though we had some money?

101
00:04:59,855 --> 00:05:04,378
Anyway, I was never allowed to
buy popcorn at the movie theater.

102
00:05:05,151 --> 00:05:07,053
Mom said we couldn't
afford it.

103
00:05:07,078 --> 00:05:09,080
But then one summer,

104
00:05:09,105 --> 00:05:12,041
my parents paid me
a quarter an hour

105
00:05:12,066 --> 00:05:14,077
to re-varnish the deck.

106
00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:17,477
But there were a bunch of
wasp nests under that deck,

107
00:05:17,759 --> 00:05:20,227
and my face got all stung up

108
00:05:20,252 --> 00:05:24,657
until finally, after
two weeks of absolute hell,

109
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:29,630
I earned enough money to
buy myself one medium popcorn.

110
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:30,996
Here you go, kid.

111
00:05:31,021 --> 00:05:32,598
The cashier gave it to me,

112
00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:34,723
I took one step away
from the counter,

113
00:05:34,888 --> 00:05:37,741
and tripped
on the sticky floor.

114
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:42,279
The mean teens laughed at me.

115
00:05:42,304 --> 00:05:45,187
Anyway, now any time
I spend money,

116
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,380
I experience
psychological trauma.

117
00:05:47,543 --> 00:05:49,375
Another enthralling sob story

118
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,502
from Matt's tragically
banal childhood.

119
00:05:51,723 --> 00:05:53,695
Listen, your 20 bucks
is gone,

120
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,389
but I'm gonna teach you
how to enjoy

121
00:05:55,414 --> 00:05:57,183
the supple pleasures
of a hotel.

122
00:05:57,291 --> 00:05:58,694
Go take an extra-long shower.

123
00:05:58,719 --> 00:05:59,843
By the time you're done,

124
00:05:59,868 --> 00:06:02,546
I'll have this room down
to a refreshing 63 degrees.

125
00:06:21,559 --> 00:06:22,664
Ooh!
Good boy.

126
00:06:22,689 --> 00:06:24,580
You use hotel towels
like napkins.

127
00:06:24,605 --> 00:06:27,841
Spit your gum in them, mop up
a stranger's blood, go nuts.

128
00:06:27,889 --> 00:06:29,502
Make sure to hydrate.

129
00:06:30,155 --> 00:06:32,458
So, I was thinking we put
the briefcase in the safe.

130
00:06:32,483 --> 00:06:34,686
Although, I have heard they
actually aren't that safe.

131
00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:36,520
What if we throw the Bible
in there with it?

132
00:06:36,545 --> 00:06:38,180
That way at least the thief
will feel guilty.

133
00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:39,442
I love that.

134
00:06:39,881 --> 00:06:41,215
Five second rule!

135
00:06:44,488 --> 00:06:46,089
This tap water
tastes pretty good.

136
00:06:46,462 --> 00:06:48,464
That's not tap water.
It's from the minibar.

137
00:06:53,192 --> 00:06:54,297
The incidentals.

138
00:06:56,533 --> 00:06:57,664
Ah!
Yeah!

139
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,180
Ooh, baby, that's hot.
Ooh!

140
00:07:00,996 --> 00:07:02,364
It's one of
the distinct pleasures

141
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:03,744
of being at
a corporate hotel chain

142
00:07:03,769 --> 00:07:04,904
on a Wednesday afternoon.

143
00:07:04,929 --> 00:07:07,431
We have the pool area
all to ourselves.

144
00:07:07,989 --> 00:07:09,259
Whoa, Jake.

145
00:07:09,431 --> 00:07:11,533
I have some questions
about that bathing suit.

146
00:07:11,584 --> 00:07:12,915
I already know where
you're going with this.

147
00:07:12,940 --> 00:07:14,742
Trust me,
I hate this bathing suit.

148
00:07:14,855 --> 00:07:16,490
The general theme,
color palette--

149
00:07:16,515 --> 00:07:17,623
it's all a nightmare.

150
00:07:17,648 --> 00:07:19,474
It's not even my size anymore
since I lost weight.

151
00:07:19,499 --> 00:07:21,201
And I'm pretty sure
Pebbles ate the drawstring.

152
00:07:21,226 --> 00:07:23,094
Well, I'm judging you
for wearing it.

153
00:07:23,119 --> 00:07:25,390
I think less of you now
because of that bathing suit.

154
00:07:25,415 --> 00:07:26,483
But it technically works

155
00:07:26,508 --> 00:07:27,976
and I only swim,
like, twice a year,

156
00:07:28,001 --> 00:07:29,140
so why get a new one?

157
00:07:29,165 --> 00:07:30,900
- Where'd you even get it?
- I don't remember.

158
00:07:31,042 --> 00:07:32,910
I've come to realize
I don't buy clothes.

159
00:07:32,935 --> 00:07:34,637
I acquire them along the way.

160
00:07:37,686 --> 00:07:38,771
Shit.

161
00:08:01,618 --> 00:08:03,220
Let me guess.
You guys were talking,

162
00:08:03,245 --> 00:08:04,665
but now I'm here, and--

163
00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:06,625
Now we feel self-conscious
talking in front of you.

164
00:08:06,650 --> 00:08:08,274
But, listen,
I've accidentally ruined

165
00:08:08,299 --> 00:08:09,867
a private hot tub convo before.

166
00:08:09,988 --> 00:08:10,989
I empathize with you.

167
00:08:11,014 --> 00:08:12,082
You are the victim here.

168
00:08:12,107 --> 00:08:13,285
I appreciate that.

169
00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:16,785
We were just talking about
Jake's terrible bathing suit.

170
00:08:17,071 --> 00:08:18,238
Let me have a look.

171
00:08:18,263 --> 00:08:20,199
Show him the suit, Jake.

172
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,378
No!
That's just awful.

173
00:08:24,609 --> 00:08:26,356
I know we just met, but...

174
00:08:26,591 --> 00:08:28,003
I'm embarrassed to know you.

175
00:08:28,028 --> 00:08:30,931
Now, my bathing suit...

176
00:08:30,956 --> 00:08:32,357
I feel okay about.

177
00:08:32,469 --> 00:08:34,638
Yeah, decent fit,
don't mind the color.

178
00:08:34,663 --> 00:08:35,764
It's doing a lot of work,

179
00:08:35,789 --> 00:08:37,624
considering
how weird your body is,

180
00:08:37,649 --> 00:08:38,950
How do you feel
about your bathing suit?

181
00:08:38,975 --> 00:08:40,691
I love my bathing suit.

182
00:08:43,175 --> 00:08:44,171
Fits perfectly.

183
00:08:44,412 --> 00:08:46,114
Not too tight, not too loose.

184
00:08:46,345 --> 00:08:47,813
It's colorful, but not flashy.

185
00:08:47,838 --> 00:08:50,207
It has an inner mesh that
allows the crotch to breathe,

186
00:08:50,232 --> 00:08:52,764
but it also lets it know
that it's supported,

187
00:08:52,789 --> 00:08:55,553
like a mother
cradling a baby's head.

188
00:08:55,684 --> 00:08:57,052
How much did it cost?

189
00:08:57,096 --> 00:08:58,631
$250.

190
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,694
So you guys here on business?

191
00:09:07,988 --> 00:09:09,456
We work
for Hampton DeVille,

192
00:09:09,481 --> 00:09:10,749
but we're actually here
delivering

193
00:09:10,774 --> 00:09:12,397
a briefcase full of money
to a billionaire.

194
00:09:12,422 --> 00:09:14,265
Really?
Hampton DeVille?

195
00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:15,859
I hear you make everything.

196
00:09:16,081 --> 00:09:17,890
That's what they say.
So what about you?

197
00:09:17,962 --> 00:09:19,497
You here for business
or pleasure?

198
00:09:19,522 --> 00:09:21,765
Ah, both--I take
great pleasure in my business.

199
00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:22,850
Actually...

200
00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:25,890
I'd like to
talk to you about it.

201
00:09:26,785 --> 00:09:28,241
I'll have the filet

202
00:09:28,266 --> 00:09:29,593
and there's a big tip
in it for you

203
00:09:29,618 --> 00:09:31,620
if that's extra rare
for me.

204
00:09:31,645 --> 00:09:33,168
Hey, you guys want anything?

205
00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:36,801
- Cheeseburger?
- Thanks, Brad.

206
00:09:37,059 --> 00:09:39,871
One cheeseburger.
Make it juicy for my man.

207
00:09:40,306 --> 00:09:42,790
Plain salmon.
Wait, no.

208
00:09:43,273 --> 00:09:44,641
Two plain salmons.

209
00:09:44,666 --> 00:09:46,837
All right, cool.
Two plain salmons.

210
00:09:46,862 --> 00:09:48,852
And help yourself to
the minibar, right over there.

211
00:09:48,877 --> 00:09:50,013
Thanks.

212
00:09:51,178 --> 00:09:53,679
- Is he insane?
- No, he's just rich as fuck.

213
00:09:53,704 --> 00:09:55,539
Gets to live his whole life
in vacation mode.

214
00:09:55,564 --> 00:09:57,182
You could learn
a thing or two from him.

215
00:09:57,207 --> 00:09:59,487
And throw in
some type of dessert.

216
00:09:59,663 --> 00:10:02,036
I don't know, surprise me,
but make it moist.

217
00:10:03,213 --> 00:10:05,615
What's up with all these
weird sculptures in here?

218
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:06,908
I'm glad you asked.

219
00:10:07,117 --> 00:10:09,560
This is my business that
I wanted to tell you about:

220
00:10:09,585 --> 00:10:11,748
peripheral objects.

221
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:13,513
Face forward.

222
00:10:14,586 --> 00:10:17,289
But keep this object
in your peripheral vision.

223
00:10:20,613 --> 00:10:22,882
See, you can sense
that it's there, right?

224
00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:24,860
But now...

225
00:10:25,808 --> 00:10:27,117
I'll take it away.

226
00:10:28,204 --> 00:10:29,117
Yeah.

227
00:10:29,709 --> 00:10:31,110
The room feels
empty now, right?

228
00:10:31,135 --> 00:10:32,273
You feel empty.

229
00:10:32,442 --> 00:10:34,344
But when I put it back...

230
00:10:37,641 --> 00:10:38,484
Whoa.
Yeah.

231
00:10:38,509 --> 00:10:39,984
When it's there,
you never notice it,

232
00:10:40,009 --> 00:10:43,457
but the absence of it
leaves a psychological chasm,

233
00:10:43,482 --> 00:10:45,988
almost impossible
to recover from.

234
00:10:46,506 --> 00:10:48,144
How much do
these things cost?

235
00:10:48,521 --> 00:10:51,300
That one's a grand,
that one's 2,500,

236
00:10:51,325 --> 00:10:54,076
this one's 1,350,

237
00:10:54,101 --> 00:10:55,469
this one's 4 grand,

238
00:10:55,494 --> 00:10:58,185
and that is 2,957.

239
00:10:58,210 --> 00:11:00,482
And people really pay you
that much for these thingies?

240
00:11:00,507 --> 00:11:02,068
Of course,
anyone in a position

241
00:11:02,093 --> 00:11:03,928
of true power owns them--

242
00:11:03,953 --> 00:11:06,388
CEOs, world leaders,

243
00:11:06,413 --> 00:11:08,978
all the popes,
Glenn Close.

244
00:11:09,176 --> 00:11:12,179
Each one is imbued
with a magical force,

245
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:14,678
powerful in its own unique way.

246
00:11:14,912 --> 00:11:17,358
This egg-shaped one
reminds me of an egg.

247
00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:20,123
That one's 300 bucks.
You can have it if you like.

248
00:11:20,470 --> 00:11:22,030
- Really?
- Wow, thank you.

249
00:11:22,055 --> 00:11:23,483
They make
great business gifts.

250
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:25,913
Maybe Christian DeVille
would like something like that.

251
00:11:25,938 --> 00:11:27,940
How much money you make
selling this stuff?

252
00:11:28,232 --> 00:11:30,267
- Excuse me?
- Like, per year.

253
00:11:30,292 --> 00:11:32,694
How much you raking it?
Seems like you're killing it.

254
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:37,997
I invite you into
my presidential suite,

255
00:11:38,525 --> 00:11:41,061
I show you my objects,

256
00:11:41,086 --> 00:11:44,860
and you disrespect me by
asking how much money I make?

257
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,931
Do you wanna know
how big my dick is as well?

258
00:11:47,956 --> 00:11:49,325
Well, we kind of
already know,

259
00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:50,518
'cause we saw you
in your trunks.

260
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,048
And, yeah, congrats.

261
00:11:52,073 --> 00:11:54,387
All right, all right, get out
of here, you tactless pricks.

262
00:11:54,412 --> 00:11:55,814
No salmon for you!

263
00:11:55,839 --> 00:11:57,184
Out!
Let's go.

264
00:11:57,209 --> 00:11:58,544
Get the fuck out of here.

265
00:11:58,569 --> 00:12:00,309
You know what the best part
of having money is?

266
00:12:00,334 --> 00:12:02,668
You can say "fuck you"
to anyone you want,

267
00:12:02,693 --> 00:12:04,109
so fuck you!

268
00:12:05,249 --> 00:12:06,484
Who'd've thought
that entering

269
00:12:06,509 --> 00:12:08,703
a stranger's hotel room
would go so wrong?

270
00:12:11,110 --> 00:12:13,039
Am I crazy
or did the room get shittier?

271
00:12:13,115 --> 00:12:15,417
Nah, we just got
a taste of a bigger room

272
00:12:15,450 --> 00:12:16,518
and a better life, so

273
00:12:16,543 --> 00:12:18,228
we're ruined
for the rest of the stay.

274
00:12:19,022 --> 00:12:20,541
Well, I'm starving.

275
00:12:20,566 --> 00:12:22,534
- Let's do room service.
- No!

276
00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:24,142
Room service
is highway robbery.

277
00:12:24,167 --> 00:12:25,277
My God.

278
00:12:25,302 --> 00:12:26,465
I'll make you a deal.

279
00:12:26,490 --> 00:12:29,238
If you pursue your popcorn PTSD
and order room service,

280
00:12:29,475 --> 00:12:31,355
I'll pull the trigger
on a new bathing suit.

281
00:12:37,051 --> 00:12:38,507
Okay, deal.

282
00:12:38,777 --> 00:12:41,023
I'll take two plain salmons,
extra plain.

283
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:43,775
Yes, of course
I want ketchup.

284
00:12:44,554 --> 00:12:46,603
It's $3 extra?

285
00:12:48,066 --> 00:12:50,040
It's top shelf!
I see!

286
00:12:50,065 --> 00:12:51,937
Well, hallelujah
and praise the Lord.

287
00:12:51,962 --> 00:12:53,976
We got top shelf ketchup here,
Jake!

288
00:12:55,886 --> 00:12:56,807
Fine.

289
00:12:56,915 --> 00:12:58,619
Just give me the ketchup.

290
00:12:59,795 --> 00:13:00,693
Fuck!

291
00:13:00,874 --> 00:13:03,232
Fuck, shit, motherfucker!

292
00:13:04,488 --> 00:13:05,881
Well, I did it.

293
00:13:05,906 --> 00:13:07,107
I bought french fries.

294
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:09,287
You have change for a tip
for whoever brings it, right?

295
00:13:10,479 --> 00:13:13,235
My mother was poor,
so that means we're poor, too.

296
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,930
We can't afford popcorn!

297
00:13:14,986 --> 00:13:15,883
The wasps.

298
00:13:16,239 --> 00:13:18,075
Keep varnishing.

299
00:13:18,219 --> 00:13:19,117
Fuck.

300
00:13:22,526 --> 00:13:24,339
Hey, can you break a 20?

301
00:13:24,364 --> 00:13:25,598
Not without you
buying a drink.

302
00:13:25,623 --> 00:13:26,624
It's hotel policy.

303
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,608
What kind of policy is that?

304
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:29,832
Hotel policy.

305
00:13:29,857 --> 00:13:30,958
Hotel policy!

306
00:13:30,983 --> 00:13:32,559
Well, then it makes
perfect sense.

307
00:13:33,053 --> 00:13:35,153
There's a convenience store
about a mile down the highway

308
00:13:35,178 --> 00:13:36,426
that could probably
break your 20,

309
00:13:36,451 --> 00:13:39,621
since you seem to enjoy making
things difficult for yourself.

310
00:13:40,003 --> 00:13:41,422
Let me think about it.

311
00:13:53,529 --> 00:13:56,095
Hey, my friend went to
get change for your tip,

312
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,111
because he's a psycho,
but he'll be back soon

313
00:13:58,136 --> 00:13:59,236
if you can wait a minute.

314
00:13:59,261 --> 00:14:01,392
Sure, I can take a break.

315
00:14:01,526 --> 00:14:02,793
What you looking up?

316
00:14:03,026 --> 00:14:04,394
I'm trying
to buy a bathing suit

317
00:14:04,419 --> 00:14:05,520
and it's spinning me out.

318
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:07,046
Really, I'm just
looking for something

319
00:14:07,071 --> 00:14:08,221
I wouldn't be embarrassed
to drown in.

320
00:14:08,246 --> 00:14:10,112
Well, the first thing
you need to do

321
00:14:10,137 --> 00:14:12,845
is figure out
who you truly are as a person.

322
00:14:12,870 --> 00:14:15,197
Then you're ready
to buy some trunks.

323
00:14:18,664 --> 00:14:19,616
Hey!

324
00:14:20,048 --> 00:14:21,127
Come on!

325
00:14:23,390 --> 00:14:24,804
It's not that
it has to have elephants.

326
00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:26,964
I just don't want parrots
and martini glasses.

327
00:14:27,112 --> 00:14:28,996
That's where
you and I differ.

328
00:14:29,021 --> 00:14:31,056
But I respect
your point of view.

329
00:14:31,081 --> 00:14:33,150
I respect you, too, Tandry.

330
00:14:33,277 --> 00:14:34,811
Hey, Matt.
Tandry helped me

331
00:14:34,836 --> 00:14:36,638
narrow down the field
to a few bathing suits.

332
00:14:36,663 --> 00:14:37,760
And we ate
all your fries,

333
00:14:37,785 --> 00:14:39,486
but there is
one plain salmon left.

334
00:14:39,511 --> 00:14:42,041
Well, I just walked
40 minutes to get your tip,

335
00:14:42,066 --> 00:14:45,104
- so here it is.
- Aw, thanks.

336
00:14:45,129 --> 00:14:48,096
You know you could've
just tipped on the bill, right?

337
00:14:50,115 --> 00:14:52,487
- Fuck me.
- Okay, I think I've got it.

338
00:14:52,512 --> 00:14:54,299
It's got elephants,
not too short,

339
00:14:54,324 --> 00:14:57,027
not too long, the reviews
are absolutely sparkling,

340
00:14:57,153 --> 00:14:58,990
except for one guy
who has a lot to say

341
00:14:59,015 --> 00:15:00,049
about white nationalism.

342
00:15:00,074 --> 00:15:02,522
I'm gonna get it before I have a
chance to second guess myself.

343
00:15:02,805 --> 00:15:05,108
Goddammit,
they don't have my size.

344
00:15:05,678 --> 00:15:07,288
I give up.

345
00:15:09,852 --> 00:15:11,554
Whoa, what's this?

346
00:15:11,613 --> 00:15:13,312
We met some guy
who sells them.

347
00:15:13,337 --> 00:15:15,372
They sort of exist
not to be noticed.

348
00:15:15,397 --> 00:15:16,515
Did that make sense?

349
00:15:16,811 --> 00:15:18,973
For sure.
Like hotel art.

350
00:15:30,926 --> 00:15:32,635
Have those been there
the whole time?

351
00:15:33,023 --> 00:15:35,174
Yeah, kind of pretty, right?

352
00:15:37,610 --> 00:15:40,480
You dudes in town
for business or pleasure?

353
00:15:40,505 --> 00:15:43,695
It's funny that the opposite
of pleasure is business.

354
00:15:44,086 --> 00:15:46,992
Business is pain.
We're in town for pain.

355
00:15:47,017 --> 00:15:49,077
Well, work has to be painful.

356
00:15:49,102 --> 00:15:51,304
Otherwise, nobody would
pay you to do it.

357
00:15:51,329 --> 00:15:53,631
I certainly wouldn't be
wearing this uniform

358
00:15:53,656 --> 00:15:55,021
if I wasn't getting paid.

359
00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:56,180
You know, I have to admit,

360
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,552
this trip hasn't been
that painful.

361
00:15:57,577 --> 00:15:59,546
We're just delivering
a briefcase to a billionaire.

362
00:15:59,731 --> 00:16:01,083
Technically,
we're all getting paid

363
00:16:01,108 --> 00:16:02,864
to carry
someone else's luggage.

364
00:16:02,957 --> 00:16:05,128
Right, but I have to lie

365
00:16:05,153 --> 00:16:07,285
about not having change
to make rent.

366
00:16:07,310 --> 00:16:10,079
You guys are probably making
a lot more money than me.

367
00:16:10,221 --> 00:16:12,123
We don't make
that much money.

368
00:16:12,433 --> 00:16:13,367
Yeah?

369
00:16:13,392 --> 00:16:15,657
How much you dudes
raking in per year?

370
00:16:18,413 --> 00:16:20,141
I invite you into our room,

371
00:16:20,166 --> 00:16:21,801
I let you eat
all of Matt's fries,

372
00:16:21,826 --> 00:16:24,929
and you disrespect me by
asking how much money I make?

373
00:16:24,954 --> 00:16:27,354
Would you also like to know
how big my dick is?

374
00:16:27,379 --> 00:16:29,339
Well, I kind of
already know that,

375
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:32,206
based on how insecure
you're being right now.

376
00:16:32,689 --> 00:16:34,912
Sorry, Matt and I have
never compared our salaries.

377
00:16:34,937 --> 00:16:36,154
Our friendship is fragile.

378
00:16:36,179 --> 00:16:37,936
I bet it would feel
really good

379
00:16:37,961 --> 00:16:39,858
to tell someone,
though, right?

380
00:16:48,193 --> 00:16:51,646
Wow, you guys should definitely
not know what each other makes.

381
00:16:51,671 --> 00:16:54,295
No question it would
ruin your friendship.

382
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,678
So, if you want
to remain friends,

383
00:16:57,703 --> 00:17:00,806
you might want to put
a little tip in the Tandry jar.

384
00:17:00,911 --> 00:17:03,069
Matt, pay the nice lady.

385
00:17:03,094 --> 00:17:04,829
- Twenty bucks each.
- What?

386
00:17:04,854 --> 00:17:08,155
Tip me right now or I'm gonna
fucking spill the beans.

387
00:17:11,711 --> 00:17:14,796
- Good. - Thanks, guys. Pleasure
doing business with you.

388
00:17:16,144 --> 00:17:19,276
You guys are all checked out.

389
00:17:19,504 --> 00:17:22,769
We did notice that you took
a water from the minibar

390
00:17:22,794 --> 00:17:25,136
and tried to replace it
with a different water.

391
00:17:25,161 --> 00:17:27,145
So you'll be charged
for the water

392
00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:28,872
and also a penalty fee

393
00:17:28,897 --> 00:17:30,732
for trying to trick us.

394
00:17:30,757 --> 00:17:33,705
You fuck with us,
we fuck with you.

395
00:17:33,730 --> 00:17:35,173
That's hotel policy.

396
00:17:35,198 --> 00:17:37,567
Also, Hampton is ready for you
in the business center.

397
00:17:37,592 --> 00:17:38,837
Thank you.

398
00:17:41,829 --> 00:17:43,531
Hey!
Stop that briefcase thief!

399
00:18:11,744 --> 00:18:13,736
Jake!
Somebody stole the briefcase.

400
00:18:13,761 --> 00:18:14,962
Get dressed, psycho.

401
00:18:14,987 --> 00:18:16,665
We have to meet Hampton
in ten minutes.

402
00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:34,783
Mr. Hampton?

403
00:18:35,528 --> 00:18:37,229
This is from Mr. DeVille.

404
00:18:37,254 --> 00:18:39,275
Christian--
Christian DeVille.

405
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:40,635
Y-you know the guy.

406
00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:42,502
Matt, hand over
the briefcase.

407
00:19:00,954 --> 00:19:05,056
_

408
00:19:24,545 --> 00:19:25,742
Hey, Jake.

409
00:19:26,863 --> 00:19:27,922
Combos.

410
00:19:27,947 --> 00:19:30,555
Absolutely not.
Vacation mode is over.

411
00:19:36,964 --> 00:19:37,947
Whoa.
Jake...

412
00:19:38,369 --> 00:19:40,144
Is that your bathing suit?

413
00:19:43,491 --> 00:19:45,990
I must've gotten it
at a gas station somewhere.

414
00:19:46,015 --> 00:19:47,865
I could just get
a new one in my size.

415
00:19:47,890 --> 00:19:49,424
I mean, it's only 12 bucks

416
00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:50,784
and there's nothing
really wrong with it,

417
00:19:50,809 --> 00:19:52,177
other than the overall design

418
00:19:52,202 --> 00:19:53,968
and how bad it makes me
feel when I wear it.

419
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:56,789
Fine, just get
the bathing suit.

420
00:19:56,814 --> 00:19:59,562
If you drown, I'll make sure
nobody identifies the body.

421
00:19:59,587 --> 00:20:00,989
That's really sweet of you.

422
00:20:21,284 --> 00:20:22,495
5.01.

423
00:20:23,063 --> 00:20:25,830
All right.
Here you go.

424
00:20:26,415 --> 00:20:27,713
And...

425
00:20:55,657 --> 00:21:00,032
credits