1
00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:03,537
Bad news. They said no.

2
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:06,173
What? I thought we had a deal!

3
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:07,674
What about our guy on the inside?

4
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:08,876
They got to our guy.

5
00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:10,377
He told me to fuck myself!

6
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:11,778
Really hurt my feelings!

7
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,981
- God damn it!
- We should double the offer.

8
00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:15,616
No, it's beyond money.

9
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:18,229
This is between me and Taylor.

10
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,088
Call the chopper.

11
00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:29,796
Okay, Taylor, I get it.

12
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,867
I did it to you,
so now you're doing it to me.

13
00:00:40,211 --> 00:00:41,946
I'm begging you.

14
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,178
Please.

15
00:00:44,486 --> 00:00:48,425
Please just... name your price.

16
00:00:50,318 --> 00:00:52,854
Tell me you want it.

17
00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:54,821
I want it.

18
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:56,724
Tell me you need it.

19
00:00:57,542 --> 00:00:59,677
I need it.

20
00:00:59,702 --> 00:01:01,524
What do you need?

21
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,954
I need the global streaming rights

22
00:01:05,979 --> 00:01:08,258
to "Gilmore Girls."

23
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,441
Raise your hand if you're subscribed

24
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,377
to Hampton DeVille's
new streaming platform,

25
00:01:17,402 --> 00:01:19,404
Hampton DeView.

26
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:25,886
Rory and Lorelai deserve better

27
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:28,680
than that shit swamp
you call a streaming platform.

28
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:32,292
Which is why I made a deal
with Viacom this morning.

29
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,328
"Gilmore Girls" will be streaming on

30
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:36,864
Pluto TV within the hour.

31
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,465
No.

32
00:01:38,490 --> 00:01:40,392
See you at the Emmys.

33
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,536
Not.

34
00:01:58,821 --> 00:02:05,088
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

35
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,962
Who here subscribes to Hampton DeView?

36
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:13,983
Fucking liars!

37
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,504
If you want to sell a
toothbrush in the 21st century,

38
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,540
you need an Emmy-nominated TV show

39
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:22,442
just so fucking Joe Shmoe
will visit your website.

40
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:23,844
There's a content war going on,

41
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,746
and we're fighting it
with "Sticks and Stones,"

42
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,348
and nobody's even watching that show!

43
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:30,784
If you all want to keep
working for this company,

44
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,720
you will go home tonight,
subscribe to Hampton DeView,

45
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:36,924
and then binge our content
until you purge!

46
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,392
Um, Christian?

47
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:40,394
I know they're... they're
technically our competition,

48
00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:44,398
but tonight is the series
finale of "Society Tomorrow."

49
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:47,501
Oh, my God. How could I forget?

50
00:02:48,382 --> 00:02:50,379
It's had me on the edge all season.

51
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:53,106
O-okay, let's table
the subscriber conversation.

52
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:54,374
I want to talk theories.

53
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:56,109
- Yes!
- Not this shit again.

54
00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:57,492
I have a theory.

55
00:02:58,736 --> 00:03:00,871
Camilla will die.

56
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:05,052
Jeremy will lose his virginity to...

57
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,053
Maggie...

58
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,688
Who will then be named

59
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:10,891
the most special person in the universe.

60
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,260
Ooh, that's pretty good.

61
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:14,962
You know, they've been planting seeds

62
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,364
about how horny Jeremy is
since the beginning,

63
00:03:17,389 --> 00:03:19,257
and yet we've never seen him fuck.

64
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,018
Right, right, but will they show it?

65
00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:24,171
Kevin, we've known this
character since he was a child.

66
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:25,806
Sure, but now he's all grown up.

67
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,185
And I, for one, wanna see what he's got.

68
00:03:28,210 --> 00:03:30,577
Well, have fun being let down
by the finale tonight.

69
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:31,945
I'll be babysitting my niece

70
00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:34,139
and introducing her to things
that are actually good.

71
00:03:34,164 --> 00:03:36,091
The thought of you having any influence

72
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:38,085
over a child is frightening.

73
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,287
Are you kidding me?
I was born to be a cool uncle.

74
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,556
I get to download
all my pop culture opinions

75
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,391
onto an impressionable child's brain

76
00:03:44,416 --> 00:03:46,051
and then never have to take care of it.

77
00:03:46,076 --> 00:03:49,220
I heard the finale is four hours long.

78
00:03:49,245 --> 00:03:50,330
Mm.

79
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,632
I hope to God that's enough time

80
00:03:51,657 --> 00:03:52,799
to tie up all the loose ends.

81
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,501
- Yes!
- Right, but not too neatly.

82
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,364
- I wanna be surprised.
- Yeah, but not too surprised.

83
00:03:56,389 --> 00:03:57,389
Right.

84
00:03:57,413 --> 00:03:58,954
_

85
00:03:58,955 --> 00:04:01,624
- The Walking Beds!
- The Talking Heads.

86
00:04:01,649 --> 00:04:04,352
- The Talking Deads.
- All right, I'll take it.

87
00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:05,779
Thank you so much for watching her.

88
00:04:05,804 --> 00:04:07,198
I should be back in about four hours.

89
00:04:07,223 --> 00:04:09,291
Well, maybe closer six
with the aftershow.

90
00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:10,250
- Here you go.
- No problem.

91
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:11,685
We're gonna have fun.

92
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:12,920
So Stelly-Belly, what do you think?

93
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,288
You wanna watch a Miyazaki film?

94
00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:15,756
Or even better, "Summer Catch"

95
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,124
starring Freddie Prinze Jr.?

96
00:04:17,149 --> 00:04:19,325
I thought you wanted to brainwash her
into having good taste.

97
00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:21,703
Freddie Prinze Jr. was the
James Dean of our generation.

98
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:23,363
He died in a car accident?

99
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,332
I wanna watch "Pickles 4 Breakfast."

100
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:26,900
What the hell is "Pickles 4 Breakfast"?

101
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:29,570
You should know. Your company makes it.

102
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,505
Bye, love you. Have fun!

103
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:35,074
You guys are the only people I know

104
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:36,543
who subscribe to Hampton DeView.

105
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,445
I'm using my friend's password.

106
00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,364
I would never pay for it.

107
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,532
Okay, Stelly-Belly, let's make a deal.

108
00:04:42,557 --> 00:04:44,059
First we watch "Pickles 4 Breakfast,"

109
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,886
but then I get to introduce you
to "Summer Catch"

110
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:46,921
starring Freddie Prinze Jr....

111
00:04:46,946 --> 00:04:48,948
No! Only "Pickles 4 Breakfast"!

112
00:04:50,403 --> 00:04:53,327
- ? Pickles for breakfast ?
- ? Yes, Mommy ?

113
00:04:53,352 --> 00:04:56,989
? I want pickles every day ?

114
00:04:57,014 --> 00:05:00,023
- ? Do you love pickles? ?
- ? Yes, Mommy ?

115
00:05:00,314 --> 00:05:03,288
? I love pickles in every way ?

116
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,741
That is not what breakfast is like.

117
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:08,851
Shush!

118
00:05:10,212 --> 00:05:13,648
? Look out for the bad bird ?

119
00:05:13,673 --> 00:05:16,925
? For it will steal your pickle ?

120
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,503
? Yes, Mommy ?

121
00:05:18,528 --> 00:05:21,308
? If the bird steals the pickle ?

122
00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:23,235
? I'll kill it with a sickle ?

123
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,862
This is... weird.

124
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,697
Uncle Jakey, can I have a pickle?

125
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,966
- You can't have a pickle.
- You're a bird!

126
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,101
I am not a bird.

127
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:36,270
Then why can't I have a pickle?

128
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,404
Because pickles are a lunch side.

129
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,705
Pickle, pickle, pickle!

130
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,574
I'm gonna kill you with my sickle!

131
00:05:41,665 --> 00:05:43,634
? Every day ?

132
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:46,923
_

133
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:52,252
Someone here is the most
special person in the universe.

134
00:05:52,546 --> 00:05:55,984
And if one of you doesn't
tell me who that is,

135
00:05:56,302 --> 00:05:59,105
well, then, I'll have to kill you all.

136
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:02,648
And wouldn't that be a darn shame?

137
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:10,404
- Oh, shit, it's Joshua!
- He's back from the past!

138
00:06:10,429 --> 00:06:11,843
- He's got a beard now.
- I knew it.

139
00:06:11,868 --> 00:06:13,828
Everyone, shut the fuck up
and listen to Joshua.

140
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,476
- Oh, shit, it's Joshua!
- Back from the past!

141
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,478
- And he has a beard now.
- I knew it.

142
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,265
Shut the fuck up and listen to Joshua.

143
00:06:20,298 --> 00:06:23,501
I traveled through a million millennia,

144
00:06:23,692 --> 00:06:27,830
won, lost, and tied countless wars,

145
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,057
and even lost my virginity
along the way,

146
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,492
which, frankly,
was a little underwhelming.

147
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:36,129
But I did it all in order
to get back here and tell you

148
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:39,563
that I am not the most special
person in the universe.

149
00:06:40,673 --> 00:06:43,076
You are, Maggie.

150
00:06:43,159 --> 00:06:46,662
I knew it. The future is female.

151
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:54,382
No, the future is robots.

152
00:06:54,724 --> 00:06:56,597
And lucky for me...

153
00:06:56,746 --> 00:07:00,787
I am the most special robot
in the universe.

154
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,195
Pretty fucking cool, right?

155
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,869
Amazing.

156
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,673
- Boo!
- Boo!

157
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:22,342
They didn't even show anything!

158
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:24,611
Boo!

159
00:07:24,636 --> 00:07:25,599
Yeah! Boo!

160
00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:29,963
- Hiss, crackle, pop!
- Damn it!

161
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,497
Go and ruined the show
in the last episode.

162
00:07:33,622 --> 00:07:36,690
Well, I think we can all
agree that last night's finale

163
00:07:36,756 --> 00:07:38,803
was a complete and utter train wreck.

164
00:07:38,828 --> 00:07:40,669
There were four perfectly good virgins,

165
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:41,828
and none of them got laid.

166
00:07:41,853 --> 00:07:43,130
At the very least

167
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,198
they could've shown somebody yanking it.

168
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:47,767
And that's why this morning,
I made a few calls,

169
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:49,803
pulled a few strings,
massaged a few backs,

170
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:52,472
and may have found a way
for Hampton DeVille

171
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:56,042
to buy the rights to "Society Tomorrow."

172
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,544
Yes!

173
00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:59,779
Which means we could remake the finale,

174
00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:02,182
and this time, do it right.

175
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:03,517
Oh, my God, Jake!

176
00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:05,578
Are you fucking kidding me
with this shit?

177
00:08:05,603 --> 00:08:08,363
Hold on, hold on, because to be honest,

178
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,957
well, it... it is not a good deal.

179
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:14,227
They're asking for $2.3 billion,

180
00:08:14,252 --> 00:08:17,349
which means we need to make
some major sacrifices.

181
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,432
No more free food for employees.

182
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,467
- That's fine.
- We have to downgrade

183
00:08:20,492 --> 00:08:22,235
everyone's health insurance to,

184
00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:23,526
- well, no health insurance.
- Wait, what?

185
00:08:23,551 --> 00:08:25,166
And we're talking about massive layoffs,

186
00:08:25,191 --> 00:08:27,282
at least 30% across the board,

187
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:28,651
and no severance for anyone either.

188
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:32,612
So with all of that in mind,
what do we think?

189
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,459
- Take the deal!
- Please, Christian, for the love of God!

190
00:08:35,484 --> 00:08:36,490
Please, please!

191
00:08:36,515 --> 00:08:38,151
Okay, good, because I already did it!

192
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:43,736
Yeah!

193
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,895
I love content. I love branded content.

194
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:20,127
Welcome to team "Society Tomorrow."

195
00:09:20,336 --> 00:09:22,996
Yes! Oh, boy, this is exciting.

196
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:26,108
Last night, my parents
called me for the first time

197
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:29,402
since 9/11 to pitch me
a storyline for the new finale!

198
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,238
It had unsettling racist overtones,

199
00:09:31,263 --> 00:09:32,848
but it was nice to hear their voices.

200
00:09:32,888 --> 00:09:35,557
You're all here
because you scored highest

201
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,777
on the "Society Tomorrow" fan quiz

202
00:09:37,802 --> 00:09:40,505
that we sent out to
every employee in the company.

203
00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:44,304
And because we all hated
that dumbass ending

204
00:09:44,329 --> 00:09:46,931
that wasn't amazing
in any way whatsoever.

205
00:09:46,956 --> 00:09:47,904
Exactly.

206
00:09:47,929 --> 00:09:50,693
Our job will be to make a new finale

207
00:09:50,718 --> 00:09:52,834
for the fans, by the fans.

208
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:53,818
- Whoo!
- Yeah!

209
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,935
So I have a few ideas that I think

210
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,729
everyone in this room will love.

211
00:09:57,754 --> 00:10:00,115
First, Joshua should not come
back from the past, okay?

212
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,068
That is a total cop-out.

213
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:05,739
Second, I strongly believe
that there are three people

214
00:10:05,764 --> 00:10:07,207
who should lose their virginities.

215
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,009
- Are you gonna show it?
- Absolutely.

216
00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:10,095
- Yes!
- Third.

217
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,578
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.

218
00:10:11,603 --> 00:10:13,880
This isn't some Hollywood writers' room.

219
00:10:13,939 --> 00:10:15,595
- No.
- What we're doing here

220
00:10:15,665 --> 00:10:16,806
is collecting

221
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,286
and analyzing the data.

222
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,388
Baron has been gathering heaps

223
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:24,725
of luscious "Society Tomorrow" fan data.

224
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:27,227
Reddit, the dark web,
the secret Internet.

225
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,920
Any place where there are opinions

226
00:10:28,945 --> 00:10:30,313
and illegal pornography.

227
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,506
How's that fan data looking, Baron?

228
00:10:32,630 --> 00:10:34,342
It's an indictment of humanity on par

229
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,053
with how we treated Britney Spears.

230
00:10:36,078 --> 00:10:37,279
- Great.
- Perfect.

231
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,239
We'll use that data to find out

232
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,508
what the fans want and give it to them!

233
00:10:41,575 --> 00:10:44,344
The fans vomit, we eat the vomit,

234
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:47,447
then we simply vomit that vomit
back into the fans' mouths.

235
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:52,118
I'm a fan. What about my vomit?

236
00:10:53,211 --> 00:10:56,688
_

237
00:11:04,132 --> 00:11:06,860
_

238
00:11:17,816 --> 00:11:20,901
Excuse me. What the hell happened here?

239
00:11:21,409 --> 00:11:24,417
Oh, they laid off everyone
Hampton DeView except for me

240
00:11:24,442 --> 00:11:26,978
because I'm the only one
who really matters.

241
00:11:27,232 --> 00:11:30,791
- What do you do?
- I design thumbnails.

242
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:35,495
Yup, it's the most important
art form in the 21st century.

243
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:39,090
A good thumbnail draws
in the viewer like a siren.

244
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,001
It's the first little taste
that gets them hooked.

245
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,870
Honestly, I consider it an
advanced form of mass hypnosis.

246
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:46,673
You know when people were,
like, wearing bootcut jeans?

247
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,375
- Yeah.
- So you're the one responsible

248
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:50,243
for getting my niece hooked
on "Pickles 4 Breakfast."

249
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,745
You know that's the single most watched

250
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,680
piece of content on Hampton DeView?

251
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,048
That "Pickles 4 Breakfast" thumbnail

252
00:11:55,073 --> 00:11:57,861
is my pièce de résistance.

253
00:11:57,886 --> 00:11:59,661
Can you at least tell me
the name of the sick fuck

254
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:01,054
who makes "Pickles 4 Breakfast"?

255
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,423
It's this company called Stravinsky.

256
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,592
They just sent over 50 new
episodes this morning, so...

257
00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:06,927
Whoo!

258
00:12:06,952 --> 00:12:10,151
That show is about
to take over the world.

259
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:14,734
So then Joshua dies.

260
00:12:16,418 --> 00:12:19,456
But then a second Joshua from the future

261
00:12:19,481 --> 00:12:21,116
kills the humanoid robot.

262
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,343
I also lost my virginity.

263
00:12:24,781 --> 00:12:27,589
Future Josh announces
the most special person

264
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,316
in the universe is a tie...

265
00:12:29,341 --> 00:12:30,309
It's a tie.

266
00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:33,289
Between himself and Camilla.

267
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,422
Camilla and Future Joshua end up

268
00:12:35,447 --> 00:12:37,949
losing their virginities to each other.

269
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:39,409
- And we do show it.
- Bingo.

270
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,530
But then Camilla remembers
she's a robot.

271
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:44,556
Oh, that's right.

272
00:12:44,698 --> 00:12:46,266
I forgot.

273
00:12:46,291 --> 00:12:47,868
But due to her love for Joshua,

274
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:50,342
she overrides her robot brain
and turns the gun on herself.

275
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:52,272
- The end.
- Yes.

276
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,414
- So that's that.
- Yeah.

277
00:12:54,439 --> 00:12:55,579
- Hmm.
- Yeah.

278
00:12:55,604 --> 00:12:57,310
According to the data,
that's what the fans want.

279
00:12:57,335 --> 00:12:58,243
Good!

280
00:12:58,268 --> 00:13:00,080
You know, I didn't
think it was possible,

281
00:13:00,105 --> 00:13:04,751
but this new ending is even
worse than the original!

282
00:13:04,776 --> 00:13:07,779
Whoa. Now you're talking crazy.

283
00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:10,957
Please, I'm begging you.

284
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,488
If you would just listen to me,
I know how the show should end.

285
00:13:13,555 --> 00:13:15,891
You think you know better than the data?

286
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,965
Well, then you must be the most
special person in the universe.

287
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:21,134
- Well, better me than Camilla!
- You know what, Matt?

288
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,970
I had my own ideas about
the end of "Society Tomorrow."

289
00:13:23,995 --> 00:13:25,663
So did my racist parents.

290
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,208
But we have to put our emotions aside,

291
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:30,610
be like the robots
in "Society Tomorrow,"

292
00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:31,947
and trust the data!

293
00:13:31,972 --> 00:13:33,673
The data is evil.

294
00:13:33,698 --> 00:13:35,603
Just look at what it's done to Baron!

295
00:13:35,628 --> 00:13:36,908
Robots can't have beards.

296
00:13:36,933 --> 00:13:38,658
- I hate Camilla.
- I wanna see what they've got.

297
00:13:38,683 --> 00:13:40,361
- He wasn't even a virgin.
- I live in my mom's basement.

298
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:42,800
"Society Tomorrow" should
have feature full penetration.

299
00:13:42,825 --> 00:13:44,593
How dare you denigrate the data?

300
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:47,346
Get out of here! You're off the team!

301
00:13:47,371 --> 00:13:48,651
Fine.

302
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,665
But I will not stand idly by

303
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,200
and let you ruin the thing

304
00:13:53,225 --> 00:13:55,712
that I care most about in this world!

305
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:59,807
Well, they want Joshua to be
deflowered by a robot.

306
00:14:00,931 --> 00:14:02,056
What?

307
00:14:40,042 --> 00:14:41,409
What are you doing here?

308
00:14:42,477 --> 00:14:44,413
I'm here about "Pickles 4 Breakfast."

309
00:14:44,472 --> 00:14:45,961
I work at Hampton DeVille.

310
00:14:47,222 --> 00:14:48,847
Huh. I used to work there.

311
00:14:48,872 --> 00:14:51,174
I left a few years back
to create my own start-up,

312
00:14:51,199 --> 00:14:53,868
and now I sell content back to you guys.

313
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:55,770
So you make "Pickles 4 Breakfast."

314
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,883
No. They do.

315
00:14:59,279 --> 00:15:00,288
They?

316
00:15:00,313 --> 00:15:02,812
I'm sorry, I didn't
wanna gender the algorithm.

317
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:05,283
"Pickles 4 Breakfast"
is made by a computer.

318
00:15:07,793 --> 00:15:10,924
And so, in a last-second twist,

319
00:15:10,949 --> 00:15:13,338
Jeremy, Xavier, and Boris

320
00:15:13,363 --> 00:15:15,932
will all lose their virginities
to each other,

321
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:17,424
but not in a three-way,

322
00:15:17,449 --> 00:15:23,155
which causes Camilla to die of old age.

323
00:15:23,265 --> 00:15:26,768
Which means the most special
person in the universe

324
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:30,044
is... Maggie.

325
00:15:30,069 --> 00:15:33,032
Who is now paralyzed
from the waist down.

326
00:15:33,443 --> 00:15:34,950
The end.

327
00:15:36,228 --> 00:15:37,296
- Boo!
- No.

328
00:15:37,321 --> 00:15:38,588
- Nuts!
- Nope.

329
00:15:38,613 --> 00:15:40,382
- No way.
- Hiss, snap, crackle, pop.

330
00:15:40,448 --> 00:15:42,149
That's even worse than the original.

331
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,585
But that's impossible,

332
00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:46,633
because that was the worst ending ever.

333
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:51,517
Okay, then, Chicken Pox.
How do you want it to end?

334
00:15:52,539 --> 00:15:54,108
Well...

335
00:15:54,268 --> 00:15:57,638
Camilla could kill Maggie.

336
00:15:58,309 --> 00:16:01,682
And then Future Joshua...

337
00:16:03,346 --> 00:16:04,639
Oh, fuck it!

338
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,634
I liked the original ending.

339
00:16:08,417 --> 00:16:09,991
I even watched it again

340
00:16:10,016 --> 00:16:12,036
to try to find something wrong with it,

341
00:16:12,061 --> 00:16:15,498
but I picked up
new things on the rewatch.

342
00:16:15,523 --> 00:16:18,320
The only reason I even
joined this stupid team

343
00:16:18,386 --> 00:16:20,989
is so that I wouldn't have to
do a thousand exit interviews

344
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:23,050
for everyone who got laid off!

345
00:16:27,244 --> 00:16:29,849
Maybe there is no perfect ending.

346
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:36,871
Hey, my shingles are gone.

347
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,498
? Slap my face with your thick butt ?

348
00:16:38,523 --> 00:16:40,217
? Don't stop till I get pregnant ?

349
00:16:40,242 --> 00:16:42,944
We released "Slap My Face
with Your Thick Butt"

350
00:16:43,011 --> 00:16:45,013
in New York City just last week,

351
00:16:45,146 --> 00:16:48,483
and it's already
number 33 on the charts!

352
00:16:49,396 --> 00:16:50,731
Pretty catchy, huh?

353
00:16:50,767 --> 00:16:53,935
I can feed any kind of data
into the algorithm...

354
00:16:53,975 --> 00:16:57,616
music, art, animated kids'
YouTube videos,

355
00:16:57,659 --> 00:16:59,895
and it'll generate
its own approximation.

356
00:16:59,961 --> 00:17:02,597
Kids' entertainment shouldn't
be made by a machine.

357
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,056
And neither should music.

358
00:17:04,081 --> 00:17:06,149
It should be made by musicians on drugs.

359
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:07,936
You have to put a stop to this.

360
00:17:08,003 --> 00:17:10,613
My niece is eating 20 pickles a day.

361
00:17:11,534 --> 00:17:13,535
Stravinsky, play the "Rite of Spring."

362
00:17:16,144 --> 00:17:18,280
When this ballet first
premiered in 1913,

363
00:17:18,346 --> 00:17:19,892
people hated it.

364
00:17:19,917 --> 00:17:22,425
It was such an extreme step forward,

365
00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:25,220
that when they heard it,
they went berserk.

366
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,714
They bashed their heads up
against the walls.

367
00:17:27,739 --> 00:17:30,275
There were riots in the streets.

368
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:33,603
"Pickles 4 Breakfast" may
terrify and confuse us,

369
00:17:33,628 --> 00:17:37,732
but future generations
will look on it as genius.

370
00:17:39,301 --> 00:17:40,335
Oh, look.

371
00:17:40,402 --> 00:17:41,997
Stravinsky finished rendering

372
00:17:42,022 --> 00:17:44,856
50 more episodes
of "Pickles 4 Breakfast."

373
00:17:45,630 --> 00:17:47,833
You're looking at
the most prolific artist

374
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,324
of the 21st century.

375
00:17:50,724 --> 00:17:52,652
You think this is how they felt?

376
00:17:52,868 --> 00:17:55,340
- Who?
- The apes.

377
00:17:56,718 --> 00:17:59,554
We must've been gods to them.

378
00:18:03,543 --> 00:18:06,552
I was a fool to think
we could change the past.

379
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,045
Any ending we put out,

380
00:18:08,070 --> 00:18:10,303
the fans will hate
just as much as the original.

381
00:18:10,328 --> 00:18:12,207
And those monsters will turn against us

382
00:18:12,232 --> 00:18:14,467
like they did Freddie Prinze Jr.

383
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,422
We'll probably have to
shutter Hampton DeView.

384
00:18:19,227 --> 00:18:23,398
But to be honest,
what I'm most sad about...

385
00:18:25,116 --> 00:18:27,857
Is that "Society Tomorrow" is over.

386
00:18:27,882 --> 00:18:30,100
Hmm.

387
00:18:30,125 --> 00:18:32,335
You guys watching anything else good?

388
00:18:32,848 --> 00:18:35,084
I'm watching "Jew Pope."

389
00:18:35,678 --> 00:18:38,979
Um, kind of a dumb premise,
but it's okay.

390
00:18:39,004 --> 00:18:41,407
I've heard that's
one of the better pope shows.

391
00:18:41,432 --> 00:18:42,854
I keep meaning to check it out.

392
00:18:42,879 --> 00:18:45,181
My fucking wife and I are
watching the new season of the

393
00:18:45,206 --> 00:18:47,876
"Danish Dutch Oven Show."
Anyone watching that?

394
00:18:47,901 --> 00:18:49,685
No, but I kn... I know I should.

395
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:50,326
Yeah.

396
00:18:50,351 --> 00:18:54,155
The media landscape
has become fractured.

397
00:18:54,815 --> 00:18:56,752
"Society Tomorrow" was the last show

398
00:18:56,777 --> 00:18:58,912
we were all watching together.

399
00:19:00,663 --> 00:19:02,617
Have any of you watched
"Pickles 4 Breakfast"?

400
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,437
No, Jake, but we know we should.

401
00:19:04,462 --> 00:19:07,405
No, you shouldn't.
It's made by an algorithm.

402
00:19:07,430 --> 00:19:09,932
A computer with no regard
for human life.

403
00:19:09,957 --> 00:19:11,825
Every day it churns out
hundreds of episodes

404
00:19:11,892 --> 00:19:13,394
at virtually no cost,

405
00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:15,420
which means artists
won't have jobs anymore,

406
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:17,547
so they won't be able to afford drugs.

407
00:19:17,572 --> 00:19:19,275
Children are murdering birds

408
00:19:19,307 --> 00:19:21,008
and eating pickles for breakfast.

409
00:19:21,068 --> 00:19:24,538
If you don't put a stop to it,
it will never end.

410
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:30,711
I just came up with the perfect ending

411
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,899
to "Society Tomorrow."

412
00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:37,727
I am the most special robot
in the universe.

413
00:19:40,454 --> 00:19:42,589
This is the same ending, isn't it?

414
00:19:42,656 --> 00:19:43,958
- Exactly.
- Yeah.

415
00:19:45,511 --> 00:19:47,785
Pretty fucking cool, right?

416
00:19:49,074 --> 00:19:51,300
_

417
00:19:51,551 --> 00:19:55,183
"Society Tomorrow" will not be ending.

418
00:19:56,066 --> 00:19:58,835
It will live on forever.

419
00:19:59,004 --> 00:20:03,242
There will be sequels,
prequels, reboots, remakes,

420
00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:05,921
and ill-advised spin-offs
with side characters

421
00:20:05,946 --> 00:20:08,206
that cannot possibly
carry their own series.

422
00:20:08,231 --> 00:20:10,533
We'll give the fans
everything they want,

423
00:20:10,558 --> 00:20:12,660
and much, much more.

424
00:20:12,685 --> 00:20:14,487
We'll use an algorithm to churn out

425
00:20:14,512 --> 00:20:16,988
hundreds of scripts a day
at virtually no cost,

426
00:20:17,013 --> 00:20:19,068
and you'll all keep watching
even though there are

427
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:21,492
plenty of other better shows
that people have recommended

428
00:20:21,517 --> 00:20:22,952
that you know you should check out.

429
00:20:22,977 --> 00:20:25,813
And sure, you'll all complain
about how "Society Tomorrow"

430
00:20:25,838 --> 00:20:28,440
used to be better,
but that anger will unite you.

431
00:20:28,465 --> 00:20:31,513
And so you'll keep watching,
hoping it will end,

432
00:20:31,538 --> 00:20:35,089
begging for it to end,
and then you'll all die.

433
00:20:36,175 --> 00:20:37,987
And then your children will watch,

434
00:20:38,012 --> 00:20:39,780
and then they'll die, and so on!

435
00:20:39,847 --> 00:20:41,857
We're going to milk that creative IP

436
00:20:41,882 --> 00:20:44,284
until the udder runs dry!

437
00:20:44,351 --> 00:20:46,387
This is the future of content,

438
00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:49,657
and content will never die!

439
00:20:49,723 --> 00:20:51,358
Die! Die! Die!

440
00:20:58,565 --> 00:20:59,566
Die!

441
00:21:06,713 --> 00:21:09,983
- ? Pickles for breakfast ?
- ? Yes, Mommy ?

442
00:21:10,008 --> 00:21:13,231
? I want pickles every day ?

443
00:21:13,256 --> 00:21:16,492
- ? Do you love pickles? ?
- ? Yes, Mommy ?

444
00:21:16,517 --> 00:21:19,854
? I love pickles in every way ?

445
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:26,954
credits