1
00:00:17,067 --> 00:00:19,872
Mary, boardroom now.

2
00:00:19,897 --> 00:00:21,716
Jerry, Joseph.

3
00:00:22,952 --> 00:00:24,277
Quickly.

4
00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:25,748
We haven't got long.

5
00:00:29,755 --> 00:00:32,239
Whenever you're ready, gentlemen.

6
00:00:34,187 --> 00:00:35,592
So how's everyone doing, huh?

7
00:00:35,617 --> 00:00:36,617
Are we all okay?

8
00:00:36,642 --> 00:00:37,623
Wow, you're tight.

9
00:00:37,648 --> 00:00:40,576
Chris, can we get some bagels
and maybe some pastries?

10
00:00:40,609 --> 00:00:42,650
Also, I'd love a little pot of honey

11
00:00:42,675 --> 00:00:44,152
and some pasta arrabiata.

12
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:45,630
- Do you want another coffee?
- No, I'd better not.

13
00:00:45,655 --> 00:00:46,926
Okay, so first of all,

14
00:00:46,951 --> 00:00:48,431
I would just like to thank all of you

15
00:00:48,456 --> 00:00:49,656
for staying through the night.

16
00:00:49,681 --> 00:00:50,741
No, I love it like this.

17
00:00:50,766 --> 00:00:52,206
You know, some of the best decisions

18
00:00:52,231 --> 00:00:54,484
I've ever made were
at night. Let's do this.

19
00:00:54,509 --> 00:00:55,667
I will have some coffee.

20
00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:57,637
Sit. Okay, so as you are aware,

21
00:00:57,661 --> 00:01:00,945
currently all key NHS
systems are down as a result

22
00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:03,627
of what Tuva has identified
as a polymorphic virus.

23
00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:06,119
- Tuva.
- It's polymorphic virus.

24
00:01:07,009 --> 00:01:07,788
Thank you.

25
00:01:07,813 --> 00:01:11,086
In short, we have detected
the destructive subsection

26
00:01:11,111 --> 00:01:14,312
of malware which has infiltrated
the entire NHS network,

27
00:01:14,337 --> 00:01:16,033
preventing all doctors and nurses

28
00:01:16,058 --> 00:01:18,463
from accessing patient
records across the country.

29
00:01:18,488 --> 00:01:20,118
Just as a little tip,

30
00:01:20,143 --> 00:01:22,668
you might want to take a
breath every now and then.

31
00:01:22,693 --> 00:01:26,058
So how big a deal is
this, I mean really?

32
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:26,976
Huge.

33
00:01:27,001 --> 00:01:30,616
Approximately one in three
Britons uses the NHS every day.

34
00:01:30,641 --> 00:01:32,792
In five hours, it'll be chaos.

35
00:01:32,867 --> 00:01:34,603
Well, I mean, if it's just three people,

36
00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:36,242
I could probably treat them myself.

37
00:01:36,267 --> 00:01:37,457
I said one in three.

38
00:01:37,482 --> 00:01:38,430
Even so.

39
00:01:38,455 --> 00:01:41,616
Why are those same people
using the NHS every day?

40
00:01:41,641 --> 00:01:44,232
See, that's the problem
with free health care.

41
00:01:44,264 --> 00:01:45,406
Boom, mic drop.

42
00:01:46,742 --> 00:01:52,831
Sync & corrections by
Costa Dax www.addic7ed.com

43
00:01:52,856 --> 00:01:55,644
If this gets out, there
will be mass panic.

44
00:01:55,669 --> 00:01:57,542
Mary, what's the variance analysis?

45
00:01:57,567 --> 00:01:59,836
Well, there's good news and bad news.

46
00:01:59,861 --> 00:02:01,186
Which would you like first?

47
00:02:01,211 --> 00:02:02,261
- I don't care.
- The good news.

48
00:02:02,286 --> 00:02:04,372
No, you should always
deliver the good news first.

49
00:02:04,397 --> 00:02:05,778
That way there's a
chance that the person

50
00:02:05,803 --> 00:02:07,123
might not even hear the bad news.

51
00:02:07,148 --> 00:02:08,836
I completely agree with that, actually.

52
00:02:08,861 --> 00:02:11,163
I was once singing Happy
Birthday at a friend's party

53
00:02:11,188 --> 00:02:14,042
so loud no one even heard
that the building was on fire.

54
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,392
- Is that what you meant?
- Nope.

55
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:16,901
- Nope.
- Mary, please continue.

56
00:02:16,926 --> 00:02:18,722
We are on a ticking clock here.

57
00:02:18,755 --> 00:02:21,440
Okay, so the good news is that the virus

58
00:02:21,507 --> 00:02:23,563
is definitely running
from a single source,

59
00:02:23,587 --> 00:02:25,472
and I've managed to narrow down

60
00:02:25,547 --> 00:02:28,512
which codes we need to go
through to debug the system.

61
00:02:28,537 --> 00:02:30,023
How many? Approximately?

62
00:02:30,048 --> 00:02:32,592
About 50,000?

63
00:02:32,617 --> 00:02:33,617
Right.

64
00:02:34,399 --> 00:02:35,405
And the bad news?

65
00:02:35,430 --> 00:02:37,880
Wait, whoa, that wasn't the bad news?

66
00:02:37,905 --> 00:02:39,990
Because the virus is so unstable,

67
00:02:40,015 --> 00:02:43,037
there's no way of us
handling the output digitally.

68
00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:47,867
We're going to have to go
through all the entries by hand.

69
00:02:47,892 --> 00:02:48,937
What the fuck?

70
00:02:48,962 --> 00:02:49,967
Jerry.

71
00:02:50,011 --> 00:02:51,131
There's more.

72
00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:53,029
Right.

73
00:02:53,054 --> 00:02:55,177
Chris, can you and I
have a word in private?

74
00:02:55,202 --> 00:02:56,162
No.

75
00:02:56,187 --> 00:02:58,162
Okay, then can everyone
please cover your ears?

76
00:02:58,187 --> 00:03:00,474
I'm not listening anyway.

77
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,942
You know, you could tell
me if this is a drill.

78
00:03:03,967 --> 00:03:05,532
It's not a drill.

79
00:03:05,664 --> 00:03:07,600
We don't run drills through the night.

80
00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:10,910
With respect, isn't that
exactly what you'd say

81
00:03:10,935 --> 00:03:13,126
if this were a drill, though?

82
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:15,116
With respect, isn't it also

83
00:03:15,141 --> 00:03:17,273
exactly what I would say if it weren't?

84
00:03:20,293 --> 00:03:22,091
Sorry, you completely lost me.

85
00:03:22,116 --> 00:03:23,841
Sorry, is this a drill?

86
00:03:23,959 --> 00:03:24,996
It's not a drill.

87
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:27,712
It's not a drill.

88
00:03:27,787 --> 00:03:28,660
What?

89
00:03:28,685 --> 00:03:29,876
- A drill!
- Sorry.

90
00:03:29,915 --> 00:03:31,333
I think it's a drill.

91
00:03:35,887 --> 00:03:37,833
Okay, well, if we're doing this by hand,

92
00:03:37,834 --> 00:03:38,914
we'd better crack on.

93
00:03:38,947 --> 00:03:40,592
Surely it'd be quicker

94
00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:42,963
to just go after whoever's responsible

95
00:03:42,988 --> 00:03:45,407
and disable the virus
from their own machine?

96
00:03:45,432 --> 00:03:47,997
MI5 are already looking
into who may be behind this.

97
00:03:48,022 --> 00:03:49,438
Great, then we should give them a hand.

98
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:52,063
Apprehending the culprit
isn't our job, I'm afraid.

99
00:03:52,182 --> 00:03:54,333
You know that I'm trained in profiling

100
00:03:54,358 --> 00:03:56,468
and enhanced interrogation, right?

101
00:03:56,519 --> 00:03:59,610
Even if we did use those
methods over here,

102
00:03:59,642 --> 00:04:00,892
it's not our job.

103
00:04:00,917 --> 00:04:02,017
Shall we make a start?

104
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,207
Chris, seriously.

105
00:04:03,232 --> 00:04:04,888
I mean, Joseph and I have already

106
00:04:04,913 --> 00:04:08,398
made excellent progress
honing in on a suspect.

107
00:04:08,423 --> 00:04:10,788
And I mean from a career point of view,

108
00:04:10,813 --> 00:04:13,898
wouldn't it stand you in good
stead for a position at MI5?

109
00:04:13,923 --> 00:04:15,586
What makes you think
I want to work at MI5?

110
00:04:15,587 --> 00:04:17,697
Doesn't everyone here
want to work for MI5?

111
00:04:17,721 --> 00:04:19,712
I just assumed this place
was like a holding pen.

112
00:04:19,787 --> 00:04:21,267
You have two minutes to convince me.

113
00:04:21,268 --> 00:04:22,537
- Go.
- Excellent.

114
00:04:22,561 --> 00:04:24,157
Joseph, show her what we've got.

115
00:04:24,182 --> 00:04:26,667
Okay, so I have written a
program that, fingers crossed,

116
00:04:26,692 --> 00:04:28,407
should be able to predict
whether the person

117
00:04:28,432 --> 00:04:31,030
behind this cyber attack
is male or female.

118
00:04:31,847 --> 00:04:33,847
Just to narrow it down.

119
00:04:35,348 --> 00:04:41,337
And once you've narrowed it
down to half the population,

120
00:04:41,362 --> 00:04:44,313
what do you plan to do,
knock on each of their doors?

121
00:04:44,462 --> 00:04:45,667
It's what Santa does.

122
00:04:48,665 --> 00:04:50,204
Sorry, that was a joke, obviously,

123
00:04:50,229 --> 00:04:52,087
just to take the edge off
how you're looking at me.

124
00:04:52,112 --> 00:04:55,457
What Joseph means is now that
we have a working program,

125
00:04:55,482 --> 00:04:58,392
we could start to add in all
kinds of different parameters.

126
00:04:58,417 --> 00:04:59,254
Like what?

127
00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:00,737
Like whether the person behind this

128
00:05:00,769 --> 00:05:01,849
is a known cyber terrorist.

129
00:05:01,874 --> 00:05:02,880
Surely if we knew that,

130
00:05:02,905 --> 00:05:04,293
we'd know if they were male or female.

131
00:05:04,318 --> 00:05:05,457
Yeah, that was a bad example.

132
00:05:05,482 --> 00:05:07,122
Sorry, I just really
need the loo as well.

133
00:05:07,147 --> 00:05:09,662
The point is, we're gonna
hone in on someone,

134
00:05:09,687 --> 00:05:12,441
and for the record I very much doubt

135
00:05:12,466 --> 00:05:13,703
this is the work of a woman.

136
00:05:13,728 --> 00:05:14,543
Why?

137
00:05:14,568 --> 00:05:17,454
I don't know, I just have
really good instincts about women.

138
00:05:17,479 --> 00:05:20,644
For starters, why would
a woman hack the NHS?

139
00:05:20,838 --> 00:05:21,355
Huh?

140
00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:23,371
It's just not a very
womanly thing to do.

141
00:05:23,396 --> 00:05:25,002
The fact is, if you're a woman,

142
00:05:25,027 --> 00:05:27,272
you are far less likely
to be a terrorist.

143
00:05:27,297 --> 00:05:28,238
Thank you. See?

144
00:05:28,263 --> 00:05:30,668
Yeah, but we are not
making the same point here.

145
00:05:30,881 --> 00:05:33,697
I actually once got stopped and searched

146
00:05:33,721 --> 00:05:35,191
whilst wearing a hijab.

147
00:05:35,216 --> 00:05:36,701
Why were you wearing a hijab?

148
00:05:36,845 --> 00:05:38,581
I jut got it from a charity shop.

149
00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:40,422
I didn't actually know what it was.

150
00:05:40,447 --> 00:05:41,612
Isn't that offensive?

151
00:05:41,637 --> 00:05:43,089
Oh gosh, sorry.

152
00:05:43,114 --> 00:05:45,274
Don't apologize to me,
apologize to Joseph.

153
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:47,160
But why?

154
00:05:47,185 --> 00:05:48,430
Isn't that your area?

155
00:05:48,567 --> 00:05:49,663
I've never worn a hijab.

156
00:05:49,688 --> 00:05:51,653
- Sorry.
- That's all right.

157
00:05:51,907 --> 00:05:52,939
Ah.

158
00:05:53,014 --> 00:05:53,965
Male.

159
00:05:54,217 --> 00:05:55,289
There you go, see?

160
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:56,019
I was right.

161
00:05:56,044 --> 00:05:58,084
Great, so we know the
person behind this is a man.

162
00:05:58,109 --> 00:05:59,949
- Go and tell MI5.
- Right!

163
00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:03,660
I see what you did there.

164
00:06:03,685 --> 00:06:06,004
Actually, no, there's a
confidence intel on that.

165
00:06:06,029 --> 00:06:08,949
Okay, so there's a 40%
chance that it's a man.

166
00:06:08,974 --> 00:06:11,683
So it's 60% chance it's a woman?

167
00:06:11,708 --> 00:06:12,848
No, that can't be right.

168
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,673
Okay, great, so we're
looking for a woman now.

169
00:06:14,698 --> 00:06:16,140
Yeah, I think for absolutely safety,

170
00:06:16,165 --> 00:06:19,387
let's tell MI5 we're looking
for either a woman or a man.

171
00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:21,057
Or why don't you stop wasting

172
00:06:21,082 --> 00:06:22,574
mine and everyone else's time

173
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,335
and focus on something more tangible.

174
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,394
Shall we?

175
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:27,050
Look, Chris, if this is a drill...

176
00:06:27,075 --> 00:06:28,085
It's not a drill!

177
00:06:28,110 --> 00:06:29,505
Will you please stop saying that?

178
00:06:29,530 --> 00:06:30,871
Why is this even happening?

179
00:06:30,896 --> 00:06:34,647
I mean, don't these guys use,
what, anti-virus software?

180
00:06:34,947 --> 00:06:35,947
Joseph?

181
00:06:35,994 --> 00:06:36,793
What?

182
00:06:36,818 --> 00:06:39,207
Weren't you meant to be
assisting them with that?

183
00:06:39,495 --> 00:06:42,035
After the 2018 NHS systems merge?

184
00:06:42,980 --> 00:06:44,265
Well, yeah, but they just

185
00:06:44,290 --> 00:06:46,029
never responded to
my memos, so I just...

186
00:06:46,054 --> 00:06:48,004
I think part of the problem
with the way you write

187
00:06:48,029 --> 00:06:50,634
is that people don't believe
it comes from a human.

188
00:06:50,823 --> 00:06:51,644
Okay.

189
00:06:51,669 --> 00:06:53,441
Surely you could've just installed

190
00:06:53,466 --> 00:06:55,715
the security plug-ins remotely.

191
00:06:55,740 --> 00:06:58,032
That would have been
the next obvious step

192
00:06:58,057 --> 00:07:00,615
if you knew that they were
making themselves vulnerable.

193
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,720
I just couldn't think of any
new passwords, though,

194
00:07:02,745 --> 00:07:04,910
so mine always end up
being the same one.

195
00:07:04,935 --> 00:07:05,679
Jesus.

196
00:07:05,704 --> 00:07:08,160
Mine always end up being DameNew69.

197
00:07:08,185 --> 00:07:10,225
Well, don't be surprised if this gets

198
00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:12,575
called into review in
a few months' time.

199
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,040
I don't know what else to say, I...

200
00:07:14,065 --> 00:07:15,561
Well, maybe just don't say anything.

201
00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:17,074
Now can we please get on?

202
00:07:17,099 --> 00:07:19,473
I'm meant to be briefing the
health secretary before dawn.

203
00:07:19,498 --> 00:07:20,538
Hello, everyone.

204
00:07:20,563 --> 00:07:21,723
Oh, fucking hell, what now?

205
00:07:21,748 --> 00:07:23,025
So HR have said that you all

206
00:07:23,050 --> 00:07:25,259
need to stop what you're
doing and eat for 15 minutes.

207
00:07:25,284 --> 00:07:27,249
We don't have time for Chinese.

208
00:07:27,274 --> 00:07:29,079
Staff welfare is one thing,

209
00:07:29,104 --> 00:07:32,348
but so are the lives of
countless individuals

210
00:07:32,373 --> 00:07:33,418
up and down the country.

211
00:07:33,443 --> 00:07:35,379
Chris, don't you have an appraisal soon?

212
00:07:35,654 --> 00:07:36,965
I'll have the pork balls.

213
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:40,221
Can I just ask, is this on TCHQ?

214
00:07:40,246 --> 00:07:43,790
Because Mummy won't let
me carry any cash on me.

215
00:07:43,815 --> 00:07:45,058
Evelyn?

216
00:07:45,479 --> 00:07:46,482
I can't afford it.

217
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,277
No, go and check with HR.

218
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:49,426
Right, sure.

219
00:07:49,451 --> 00:07:50,823
See you later, everybody.

220
00:07:52,465 --> 00:07:54,190
Is she usually that perky?

221
00:07:54,215 --> 00:07:56,431
Wouldn't you be too, if
you'd been asleep all day?

222
00:07:56,607 --> 00:07:59,292
Now, for the love of God,
can we please get on?

223
00:07:59,317 --> 00:08:00,973
Yeah, come on, let's do this, people!

224
00:08:00,998 --> 00:08:02,198
I'll have the Chinese menu.

225
00:08:02,223 --> 00:08:03,388
Oh, yeah, sure.

226
00:08:28,128 --> 00:08:30,577
Surely we've got to be getting close.

227
00:08:30,602 --> 00:08:32,447
How long have we been going?

228
00:08:32,667 --> 00:08:34,168
- 20 minutes.
- What?

229
00:08:34,193 --> 00:08:35,347
Hey, guys.

230
00:08:35,372 --> 00:08:37,418
HR have said everyone can have

231
00:08:37,443 --> 00:08:39,082
up to 10 pounds of the takeaway.

232
00:08:39,107 --> 00:08:41,019
- I'll just take the cash.
- How much?

233
00:08:41,044 --> 00:08:42,075
Is there sharing?

234
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,926
I can't eat fish or seafood, sadly.

235
00:08:44,951 --> 00:08:47,509
Otherwise my neck really swells up.

236
00:08:47,577 --> 00:08:50,202
I'd love to see how
big it can get one day.

237
00:08:50,227 --> 00:08:52,450
Oh gosh, okay.

238
00:08:52,475 --> 00:08:54,936
Can I just get some
rice, please, Evelyn?

239
00:08:54,961 --> 00:08:56,129
What kind?

240
00:08:56,154 --> 00:08:57,345
Just cooked, thanks.

241
00:08:57,413 --> 00:08:59,723
And can I have some water chestnuts?

242
00:08:59,771 --> 00:09:00,254
Mm-hm.

243
00:09:00,279 --> 00:09:02,809
And a big bag in case I'm sick.

244
00:09:03,024 --> 00:09:04,382
Okay.

245
00:09:04,407 --> 00:09:06,899
You know what, I think
I'll just have the... Hello.

246
00:09:07,079 --> 00:09:09,270
Right, Mary, I'm leaving you in charge.

247
00:09:09,295 --> 00:09:10,121
Wha...?

248
00:09:10,146 --> 00:09:11,426
Oh gosh, really, are you sure?

249
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:12,820
I'll only be gone an hour or so.

250
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,393
Just because last time

251
00:09:14,418 --> 00:09:16,458
I was left fully in
charge of the Guides,

252
00:09:16,483 --> 00:09:19,821
it cost the parish over
40,000 pounds in damages.

253
00:09:19,861 --> 00:09:22,486
That sounds like a great night.

254
00:09:22,665 --> 00:09:24,946
I mean I know we're not
technically going around the room,

255
00:09:24,947 --> 00:09:26,432
but just so I said it, you know,

256
00:09:26,507 --> 00:09:28,347
I'm more than happy to
throw my hat in the ring

257
00:09:28,348 --> 00:09:32,192
in a kind of lead-from-the-very-back
kind of way.

258
00:09:32,217 --> 00:09:32,829
No.

259
00:09:33,075 --> 00:09:35,962
Look, Chris, I get you
giving that responsibility

260
00:09:35,987 --> 00:09:38,137
to the oldest person in the room,

261
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:41,177
but wouldn't it make more
sense leaving me in charge?

262
00:09:41,201 --> 00:09:42,297
What, so you and Joseph

263
00:09:42,321 --> 00:09:43,761
can get back to your computer games?

264
00:09:43,762 --> 00:09:44,473
No thanks.

265
00:09:44,498 --> 00:09:45,856
No, wait, wait, wait, come on.

266
00:09:45,881 --> 00:09:47,611
Do you really think
I'm going to jeopardize

267
00:09:47,636 --> 00:09:49,922
the lives of, how did you put it,

268
00:09:49,962 --> 00:09:52,687
countless individuals up
and down the country

269
00:09:52,712 --> 00:09:55,357
just to prove to you
that my way is quicker?

270
00:09:55,467 --> 00:09:57,577
Chris, please, have a little faith

271
00:09:57,601 --> 00:10:00,079
in my respect for your command.

272
00:10:01,410 --> 00:10:02,747
Fine.

273
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,469
Jerry's in charge.

274
00:10:04,615 --> 00:10:07,140
Everyone keep doing what you're doing.

275
00:10:07,165 --> 00:10:08,730
Call me with any developments.

276
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,116
I'll be back before dawn.

277
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,747
Okay, drop this shit, let's go.

278
00:10:18,347 --> 00:10:19,347
Oh my God.

279
00:10:20,676 --> 00:10:21,590
Listen up.

280
00:10:21,615 --> 00:10:22,840
My gut is telling me we're looking

281
00:10:22,865 --> 00:10:24,965
for someone who used
to work for the NHS.

282
00:10:24,990 --> 00:10:27,356
Maybe a disgruntled former employee.

283
00:10:27,381 --> 00:10:28,586
Check that against anyone

284
00:10:28,611 --> 00:10:30,801
with a strong background
in computer engineering.

285
00:10:30,826 --> 00:10:32,700
- Yeah, yeah, on it.
- Tuva, talk to me.

286
00:10:32,725 --> 00:10:34,090
Why are you wearing a headset?

287
00:10:34,115 --> 00:10:35,240
It helps me focus.

288
00:10:35,265 --> 00:10:36,961
Now come on, people, let's do this.

289
00:10:37,267 --> 00:10:38,989
We're on a clock here.

290
00:10:44,383 --> 00:10:45,446
What does that say?

291
00:10:45,471 --> 00:10:46,727
- Mary.
- Yeah.

292
00:10:46,752 --> 00:10:48,481
Will you just take a look at this?

293
00:10:48,506 --> 00:10:49,638
Anything?

294
00:10:49,663 --> 00:10:50,663
No.

295
00:10:52,834 --> 00:10:53,928
What's the NHS stand for?

296
00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:55,327
National Health Service.

297
00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:01,450
You okay?

298
00:11:01,638 --> 00:11:02,638
Mm.

299
00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:05,778
Anything?

300
00:11:05,803 --> 00:11:07,043
No, nothing useful.

301
00:11:12,490 --> 00:11:13,872
- Anything?
- Oh, God.

302
00:11:13,897 --> 00:11:14,654
No, not yet.

303
00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:15,700
- Sorry, Jerry.
- Goddammit.

304
00:11:20,286 --> 00:11:21,606
So look, we narrowed it down to,

305
00:11:21,631 --> 00:11:23,982
that's 400 people, basically.

306
00:11:24,179 --> 00:11:25,833
What's the motive for the crime?

307
00:11:25,858 --> 00:11:27,575
Motive for the crime?

308
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:28,932
Are you allowed to say that?

309
00:11:30,192 --> 00:11:33,283
You are my number one.

310
00:11:34,507 --> 00:11:36,790
Oh God, I can't wait to get
out of these old clothes.

311
00:11:36,814 --> 00:11:38,001
Me too.

312
00:11:38,135 --> 00:11:39,978
Oh gosh, Quentin.

313
00:11:40,639 --> 00:11:42,091
Didn't know you were still here.

314
00:11:42,116 --> 00:11:43,744
I'm always here.

315
00:11:43,813 --> 00:11:47,338
Some phrentic profiles for
cross-referencing purposes.

316
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:48,923
Nice to see you again.

317
00:11:49,906 --> 00:11:50,906
Night-night.

318
00:11:50,907 --> 00:11:51,907
Night.

319
00:11:56,492 --> 00:11:58,737
There's a spare bed in the basement.

320
00:11:58,797 --> 00:12:00,842
In case you get sleepy.

321
00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:03,199
No, no, that's okay.

322
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:04,514
Thank you.

323
00:12:13,339 --> 00:12:15,259
Oh, golly gosh.

324
00:12:15,284 --> 00:12:18,089
Did you manage to go to the toilet yet?

325
00:12:18,114 --> 00:12:19,834
No, I got about as far
as the second floor

326
00:12:19,859 --> 00:12:21,056
and then I had to turn back.

327
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:22,763
It is so scary with it being dark.

328
00:12:22,787 --> 00:12:24,298
Oh, I know.

329
00:12:24,323 --> 00:12:27,150
I once saw the ghost of
Alan Turing in the car park.

330
00:12:27,175 --> 00:12:27,728
Really?

331
00:12:27,753 --> 00:12:29,587
Was he looking for a space?

332
00:12:29,654 --> 00:12:30,734
I've got something.

333
00:12:34,178 --> 00:12:36,616
Okay, so one of the things
I've started to realize

334
00:12:36,641 --> 00:12:39,015
is that it's much easier doing this

335
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,950
when you have color photos.

336
00:12:40,975 --> 00:12:43,509
Gosh, that's a very
diverse bunch, isn't it?

337
00:12:43,534 --> 00:12:44,400
Thank you.

338
00:12:44,425 --> 00:12:45,947
I worry it's a bit too diverse.

339
00:12:45,972 --> 00:12:47,611
Okay, so what I've done here

340
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:50,306
is assimilate all the
data from the program

341
00:12:50,331 --> 00:12:52,489
along with Tuva's trace matches

342
00:12:52,514 --> 00:12:54,123
and combined that with an algorithm

343
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:56,473
that basically mimics
my own gut instincts.

344
00:12:56,498 --> 00:12:58,962
Anyway, taking all of that into account,

345
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,931
these are our top six suspects.

346
00:13:01,956 --> 00:13:04,359
You know two of these
are the same person?

347
00:13:06,969 --> 00:13:08,054
Yeah, it was a test.

348
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,079
You passed.

349
00:13:09,550 --> 00:13:12,947
Anyone have a preference
as to which photo we use?

350
00:13:12,972 --> 00:13:14,941
Maybe the one where he's smiling?

351
00:13:14,966 --> 00:13:16,086
I know you shouldn't say it,

352
00:13:16,111 --> 00:13:17,277
but I always think it must be

353
00:13:17,302 --> 00:13:19,238
quite stressful being a terrorist.

354
00:13:19,263 --> 00:13:20,783
- Yeah.
- Okay.

355
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:24,008
Oh, God, isn't that thingie
from the Doritos commercial?

356
00:13:26,118 --> 00:13:27,764
- Oh, yeah.
- Isn't he?

357
00:13:27,789 --> 00:13:29,192
- You know the one I mean?
- So no?

358
00:13:29,217 --> 00:13:31,539
We'd probably have to go
through his agent anyway.

359
00:13:31,564 --> 00:13:33,244
Who exactly are we
looking at here, then?

360
00:13:33,269 --> 00:13:35,028
Right. So...

361
00:13:35,918 --> 00:13:40,453
My money is on Abdullah blah blah blah.

362
00:13:40,478 --> 00:13:42,523
And he's a resident in the UK?

363
00:13:42,548 --> 00:13:43,280
Yeah.

364
00:13:43,305 --> 00:13:45,967
I guess as much as Joseph
is resident in the UK.

365
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,437
I am resident in the UK.

366
00:13:47,462 --> 00:13:49,647
So, sorry, did he work for
the NHS as well, then?

367
00:13:49,672 --> 00:13:51,821
Yes, he's a licensed chiropractor.

368
00:13:51,846 --> 00:13:54,317
Which, as we all know,
is not a real thing.

369
00:13:54,342 --> 00:13:55,803
So immediately I was
like, wah wah wah wah.

370
00:13:57,061 --> 00:13:59,006
What about Jenny Taylor?

371
00:13:59,031 --> 00:14:02,396
She worked for the NHS for 20 years,

372
00:14:02,421 --> 00:14:06,514
was made redundant
in 2017 after the cuts.

373
00:14:06,539 --> 00:14:09,069
The following year she lost her husband

374
00:14:09,094 --> 00:14:11,125
when he was accidentally prescribed

375
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:13,955
the wrong medication
for eczema, oh gosh,

376
00:14:13,980 --> 00:14:17,065
plus she has a PhD in computer science

377
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:21,819
and hasn't been seen
for the last three weeks.

378
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,362
Well.

379
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:29,594
Yeah, I don't know.

380
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:33,511
I keep being drawn back to
Abdullah for some reason.

381
00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:35,888
Isn't that Farouk al Hakshah?

382
00:14:36,017 --> 00:14:38,066
I don't know, depends
what you just said.

383
00:14:38,091 --> 00:14:39,129
That is Farouk.

384
00:14:39,154 --> 00:14:40,386
But it won't be him.

385
00:14:40,411 --> 00:14:44,444
He sadly blew his brains
out in prison in 2014.

386
00:14:44,469 --> 00:14:46,139
- Right.
- Did he die?

387
00:14:46,164 --> 00:14:48,272
Okay, so this is great.

388
00:14:48,297 --> 00:14:51,448
We're slowly narrowing
it down to Abdullah.

389
00:14:51,519 --> 00:14:52,677
Who is Margaret?

390
00:14:52,711 --> 00:14:56,209
I thought it could be her too,
but she's been sectioned.

391
00:14:56,234 --> 00:14:58,037
What, like cut up into pieces?

392
00:14:58,062 --> 00:15:00,454
- No, committed?
- Even better.

393
00:15:00,479 --> 00:15:01,797
Bye-bye, Maggie.

394
00:15:01,858 --> 00:15:03,457
So I guess I was right.

395
00:15:03,481 --> 00:15:04,655
Abdullah's our guy.

396
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:08,722
But he doesn't have quite
as strong a motive as Jenny.

397
00:15:08,747 --> 00:15:10,632
Yeah, but look at him.
Does he really need one?

398
00:15:10,707 --> 00:15:12,226
Yeah, but motive's your thing, right?

399
00:15:12,227 --> 00:15:13,428
I mean, that's what you've been saying,

400
00:15:13,453 --> 00:15:14,533
it's all about motive.

401
00:15:15,922 --> 00:15:17,007
Wait a minute.

402
00:15:17,032 --> 00:15:18,837
Are you guys honestly telling me

403
00:15:18,862 --> 00:15:23,608
that behind the face of this
sweet, respectable white lady

404
00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:25,633
is the monster we're looking for?

405
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,040
Jesus!

406
00:15:27,065 --> 00:15:28,065
Oh my God.

407
00:15:29,242 --> 00:15:30,298
When did she come in?

408
00:15:34,388 --> 00:15:36,228
Please tell me this
isn't what it looks like.

409
00:15:36,253 --> 00:15:38,177
Why? What does it look like?

410
00:15:38,377 --> 00:15:41,069
That you've undermined my authority,

411
00:15:41,094 --> 00:15:44,722
putting your own ego ahead
of GCHQ procedure to pursue

412
00:15:44,747 --> 00:15:48,881
an agenda fueled by ignorance
and racial prejudice?

413
00:15:52,949 --> 00:15:56,701
Maybe you're the racist
for assuming I'm racist

414
00:15:57,519 --> 00:16:02,545
when Jenny here clearly has
the requisite background,

415
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:06,455
education, and motive to hack the NHS.

416
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,565
Shame on you, Chris.

417
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:09,998
And you're welcome.

418
00:16:15,455 --> 00:16:16,455
Follow me.

419
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,480
Chop chop.

420
00:16:22,299 --> 00:16:24,924
Specifically said carry on
doing exactly what you...

421
00:16:24,957 --> 00:16:26,280
You want to do this now?

422
00:16:26,305 --> 00:16:28,345
You want to do this now
when we could be catching...

423
00:16:28,370 --> 00:16:29,264
Why not?

424
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:30,959
- Oh...
- For God's sake.

425
00:16:30,984 --> 00:16:32,395
This is, this is crazy.

426
00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:33,700
- Oh really?
- You need to focus.

427
00:16:33,725 --> 00:16:35,354
Oh, that's Yankee bullshit.

428
00:16:35,379 --> 00:16:37,009
Oh, come on, Chris.

429
00:16:37,034 --> 00:16:38,937
We're always gonna have
a different approach.

430
00:16:38,961 --> 00:16:41,326
We're like Han Solo and Jabba the Hutt.

431
00:16:41,351 --> 00:16:42,676
Anyway, it worked, right?

432
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:44,186
We have a suspect now.

433
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,976
And what if you're wrong?

434
00:16:46,001 --> 00:16:48,139
Yeah, I don't think that's
physically possible.

435
00:16:48,164 --> 00:16:50,356
- But either way, we're outta time.
- Yes.

436
00:16:50,381 --> 00:16:51,566
Because of you!

437
00:16:51,591 --> 00:16:52,962
Listen, if this is because

438
00:16:52,990 --> 00:16:54,987
we ended up honing in on a woman,

439
00:16:55,012 --> 00:16:57,937
believe me, I'm as
disappointed as you are.

440
00:16:57,962 --> 00:17:00,767
But for right now all I need
is for you to turn a blind eye

441
00:17:00,792 --> 00:17:04,157
so I can hack into
Jenny's home computer.

442
00:17:04,182 --> 00:17:04,725
No.

443
00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:06,686
That's not how we do things here.

444
00:17:06,711 --> 00:17:07,928
What?

445
00:17:08,711 --> 00:17:10,286
Hi, update from Whitehall.

446
00:17:10,686 --> 00:17:12,702
Both Chelsea Hospital and Royal Holloway

447
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,247
are unable to proceed with any surgery

448
00:17:14,272 --> 00:17:15,616
and dozens admitted last night

449
00:17:15,641 --> 00:17:17,474
are now in a critical state
because they haven't

450
00:17:17,499 --> 00:17:19,052
been able to access any medical records.

451
00:17:19,077 --> 00:17:22,162
Also, I don't quite
know how to say this,

452
00:17:22,187 --> 00:17:26,036
but the food's gonna
be another 30 minutes.

453
00:17:26,303 --> 00:17:27,458
Leave!

454
00:17:27,792 --> 00:17:28,792
Sorry.

455
00:17:31,273 --> 00:17:32,685
Do what you have to do.

456
00:17:32,908 --> 00:17:35,786
But this conversation never happened.

457
00:17:35,987 --> 00:17:37,841
Right. Understood.

458
00:17:38,994 --> 00:17:40,372
Why are you winking?

459
00:17:40,397 --> 00:17:41,340
What do you mean?

460
00:17:41,365 --> 00:17:42,435
No one's winking here.

461
00:17:44,134 --> 00:17:46,036
Can you stop winking?

462
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,085
Okay, I'd appreciate, as a general rule,

463
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:52,182
if you didn't say out loud
when I'm winking, okay?

464
00:17:52,207 --> 00:17:54,282
- Let's try that again.
- Absolutely not.

465
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,752
Fine.

466
00:17:59,408 --> 00:18:01,650
How long before we
know if Jenny's our guy?

467
00:18:01,707 --> 00:18:03,130
- It depends.
- On what?

468
00:18:03,155 --> 00:18:04,533
On whether you're

469
00:18:06,056 --> 00:18:07,634
going to stop talking.

470
00:18:07,771 --> 00:18:08,771
You okay?

471
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:09,987
Do you still need the toilet?

472
00:18:10,012 --> 00:18:11,275
Yeah, I tried pushing really hard,

473
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,877
- but now I just feel too guilty.
- Why?

474
00:18:12,902 --> 00:18:14,834
I don't know, just maybe if
I had done my job properly

475
00:18:14,859 --> 00:18:15,893
none of this would have happened.

476
00:18:15,918 --> 00:18:17,317
No, no, you can't think like that.

477
00:18:17,342 --> 00:18:19,385
That's like me feeling guilty
about the war in Iraq.

478
00:18:19,409 --> 00:18:21,533
You really think Christine
would give you a job

479
00:18:21,558 --> 00:18:24,065
that was important to national security?

480
00:18:25,133 --> 00:18:26,133
That's true.

481
00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:29,224
Oh, what a gorgeous doggie.

482
00:18:29,249 --> 00:18:31,199
- I'm in.
- Is it her?

483
00:18:31,224 --> 00:18:32,375
Not sure.

484
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,805
I can't find, yes, it's her.

485
00:18:34,830 --> 00:18:36,435
Yes! I knew it was her.

486
00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:37,817
Anything?

487
00:18:37,842 --> 00:18:38,973
It's her.

488
00:18:38,998 --> 00:18:41,137
Let me see if I can disable the virus.

489
00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:43,002
Come on, come on, you got this, Tuva.

490
00:18:43,027 --> 00:18:45,719
What do you guys do to
celebrate after a crisis?

491
00:18:45,744 --> 00:18:47,229
Move on to the next crisis.

492
00:18:47,254 --> 00:18:48,423
Because at the NSA we like

493
00:18:48,448 --> 00:18:50,372
to set off a bunch of fireworks.

494
00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:53,192
Although the CIA
recently asked us to stop

495
00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:56,002
because it was becoming too
obvious whenever we got a lead.

496
00:18:56,027 --> 00:18:57,245
We've got that lovely central

497
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:58,670
grassy area which would be perfect,

498
00:18:58,695 --> 00:19:00,823
but HR said they've
seen hedgehogs mating.

499
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:01,923
Let's put a pin in any

500
00:19:01,947 --> 00:19:03,906
potential celebrations
for now, don't you think?

501
00:19:03,907 --> 00:19:04,992
Come on, focus.

502
00:19:05,067 --> 00:19:06,072
Come on, Tuva.

503
00:19:06,147 --> 00:19:07,532
- Come on, Tuva.
- You can do this.

504
00:19:07,557 --> 00:19:08,782
We're running out of time.

505
00:19:08,807 --> 00:19:09,916
My poor bum.

506
00:19:10,461 --> 00:19:11,461
Can you feel it vibrate?

507
00:19:11,486 --> 00:19:12,486
Yes, I can.

508
00:19:14,964 --> 00:19:15,964
Huh.

509
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,402
- Oh, God.
- Well done.

510
00:19:17,477 --> 00:19:19,002
- What did...
- I'm off to the toilet.

511
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,827
- Is that it?
- Wait, wait, no, no, no,

512
00:19:20,828 --> 00:19:21,906
hey, hey, come back here.

513
00:19:21,907 --> 00:19:22,942
Come here, come here.

514
00:19:22,967 --> 00:19:24,614
I know you Brits don't
touch, but come on.

515
00:19:24,639 --> 00:19:26,903
Group hug, right now. Bring it in.

516
00:19:26,928 --> 00:19:30,416
Tuva! Tuva! Tuva! Tuva!

517
00:19:30,441 --> 00:19:31,441
Yes, woo!

518
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,439
Okay, now lift me up.

519
00:19:35,827 --> 00:19:36,827
Guys, I'm...

520
00:19:50,701 --> 00:19:51,701
Hey.

521
00:19:53,827 --> 00:19:54,827
Hey.

522
00:19:56,594 --> 00:19:57,594
Hey.

523
00:20:00,619 --> 00:20:01,915
I'm waiting.

524
00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:03,120
What for?

525
00:20:03,507 --> 00:20:05,472
Come on, come on.

526
00:20:05,547 --> 00:20:07,292
You can say it. I did good, right?

527
00:20:07,317 --> 00:20:08,337
It worked.

528
00:20:08,362 --> 00:20:09,518
Yes.

529
00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:14,893
Despite breaking a hundred
different rules, you did good.

530
00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:16,795
Well done.

531
00:20:16,820 --> 00:20:17,820
Thank you.

532
00:20:18,747 --> 00:20:20,787
Shame it was all a drill, really.

533
00:20:21,732 --> 00:20:22,732
What?

534
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:25,547
You're kidding.

535
00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:26,577
Sorry.

536
00:20:26,827 --> 00:20:27,832
Couldn't say.

537
00:20:27,857 --> 00:20:28,857
Obvious reasons.

538
00:20:30,391 --> 00:20:32,159
Oh, fucking hell!

539
00:20:32,184 --> 00:20:35,629
I said it was a drill,
like, three times!

540
00:20:35,987 --> 00:20:37,753
Oh, fucking bullshit!

541
00:20:38,035 --> 00:20:40,227
God... Joseph!

542
00:20:40,252 --> 00:20:41,885
- Yeah?
- It was a drill!

543
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,774
- What?
- Yeah! She lied!

544
00:20:45,091 --> 00:20:47,376
Sorry, it was a drill?

545
00:20:47,553 --> 00:20:49,278
Of course it wasn't.

546
00:20:49,392 --> 00:20:50,517
Go back to sleep.

547
00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:52,172
That was dirty, man!

548
00:20:52,197 --> 00:20:53,315
I mean, come...

549
00:20:55,451 --> 00:20:57,151
- You timing this?
- Yeah.

550
00:20:57,739 --> 00:20:59,235
Okay, give her the shrimp.

551
00:20:59,478 --> 00:21:00,956
- Ready?
- Yes.

552
00:21:00,981 --> 00:21:03,262
What's the biggest your neck's ever got?

553
00:21:04,133 --> 00:21:05,833
And what does the measurement say?

554
00:21:05,834 --> 00:21:07,552
? Hurray, hurray, hurray ?

555
00:21:07,627 --> 00:21:09,319
? Misery's on the way ?

556
00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:13,352
? There are bad times
just around the corner ?

557
00:21:13,427 --> 00:21:16,952
? There are dark clouds
hurtling through the sky ?

558
00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:19,417
? It's as clear as crystal ?

559
00:21:19,441 --> 00:21:21,272
? From Bridlington to Bristol ?

560
00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:24,872
? That we can't save democracy
and we don't much care ?

561
00:21:24,947 --> 00:21:29,312
? We'd better all learn the
lyrics of the old Red Flag ?

562
00:21:29,337 --> 00:21:32,707
? But wait till we drop down dead ?

563
00:21:32,782 --> 00:21:36,485
Sync & corrections by Costa Dax
www.addic7ed.com