1
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,520
I've got to find Mom and Dad!

2
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,861
Princess Blossom, wait!

3
00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:26,146
Mom?! Daddy?

4
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:31,656
Princess, please, it's not safe.

5
00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:33,407
Umm, no shit, Patrick.

6
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:36,494
That guy has an axe
through his fucking face.

7
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:37,954
We need to get you away from here.

8
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,575
I wonder if before he died,
he had time to think,

9
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:43,334
"Oh, fuck, there's an axe in my face."

10
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,919
- Huh?
- What the?

11
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,217
- Blossom!
- My sweet baby!

12
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,135
Mommy! Daddy!

13
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,270
Patrick killed the Minotaur
and saved me.

14
00:00:57,271 --> 00:00:59,684
- What? No way.
- Seems unlikely.

15
00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:02,345
What's all that racket out here?

16
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,360
I'm trying to do a crossword puzzle.

17
00:01:04,361 --> 00:01:06,186
Pipe down unless you can help me.

18
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:09,360
"Greetings for an elderly dog,"
11 letters.

19
00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:11,320
You old bitch!

20
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:14,621
I was hoping you died up here
and nobody told me.

21
00:01:14,622 --> 00:01:18,446
Hello, brother dear.
Look who got overthrown.

22
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:21,332
And is that Tulip?
I barely recognized you.

23
00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:25,751
Goodness, middle age ran over your face,
then backed up and did it again.

24
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,670
Shut up, Aunt Donna.

25
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:30,921
You are in danger, too,
you nasty old shitghoul.

26
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,218
Assassin!

27
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,638
Ugh, this dick again.

28
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:38,767
You're so annoying.

29
00:01:38,768 --> 00:01:40,095
Stop ruining my life!

30
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,810
My plan worked perfectly.

31
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:48,399
Your best knights died in the maze,
leaving your castle ripe for the taking.

32
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:52,570
We have an army, you shit-for-brains.
What's your plan when they show up?

33
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:58,117
Release us now,
and no harm will come to you. Mostly.

34
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,118
Some light torture probably,
but essentially no harm.

35
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:06,167
Time for the rightful ruler
to take her place on the throne.

36
00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:09,337
Long live Queen Donna!

37
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:10,505
Her?

38
00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:12,836
- Me?
- She's not the ruler.

39
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:17,220
She's an egg-sucking lunatic
with a boyfriend made out of yarn.

40
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,891
Ehh! This is absurd. Take off that mask.

41
00:02:19,892 --> 00:02:21,980
Very well then.

42
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,652
Sloane?

43
00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:30,066
Who?

44
00:02:32,241 --> 00:02:36,046
Addic7ed.com

45
00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:42,995
The ugly chambermaid.

46
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,536
It all makes sense now.

47
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:48,840
Being a chambermaid gave her access,
and being ugly gave her a motive.

48
00:02:48,841 --> 00:02:51,546
I'm not ugly. I just wear glasses.

49
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,392
Damn, girl.

50
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:00,809
Holy shit. Holy shit...

51
00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:02,176
Everyone's dead.

52
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,182
You guys, help me!

53
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,063
What do we do now?

54
00:03:07,064 --> 00:03:09,522
We stay in here until it's over.

55
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,232
What about Princess Blossom?

56
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,403
Probably dead. I hope.

57
00:03:13,404 --> 00:03:15,111
But she's our friend. Hello.

58
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,952
If the roles were reversed,
she would totally...

59
00:03:16,976 --> 00:03:17,947
Let us die.

60
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:21,576
She went out of her way to tell us that.
Many times.

61
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,417
It's just Blinkerquartz.

62
00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,627
Were you hiding under the bed?

63
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,588
No.

64
00:03:33,589 --> 00:03:35,879
I... I... I dropped something.

65
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,223
Shouldn't you be out there doing magic
on the assassins?

66
00:03:38,224 --> 00:03:40,595
Make them all disappear?

67
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:43,055
Oh, dear girl,

68
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,596
I'm the designated survivor.

69
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:50,441
You see, I must stay alive in case
anything happens to the royal family.

70
00:03:50,442 --> 00:03:54,108
You wouldn't want me
to abandon my duty, w-would you?

71
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,526
I guess not.

72
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,817
Oh, we have a foursome.
Let's play a board game.

73
00:03:57,821 --> 00:04:00,991
We don't like playing with Blossom
because she cheats.

74
00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:04,994
Sweep the castle
and kill any stragglers.

75
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,575
Nobody gets out alive.

76
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,250
Sloane, how could you do this?

77
00:04:08,251 --> 00:04:10,538
How? With your help, of course.

78
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,462
I couldn't have done it without you.

79
00:04:12,463 --> 00:04:14,170
Patrick? A traitor?

80
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,547
? Dun-dun-dunnnn! ?

81
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:18,968
But... I never helped you.

82
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,891
You know, I'm probably not supposed
to tell anybody this,

83
00:04:23,892 --> 00:04:28,389
but... the king locked up
his weird sister in the prison tower.

84
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:32,936
Psst! Blossom always rides separately
from her ladies-in-waiting.

85
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,980
Don't tell anybody, it's a secret.

86
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,573
If it's a secret, then shut the fuck up!

87
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:43,282
You know that urban legend
about the Minotaur labyrinth?

88
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,034
It's true.

89
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,575
You guys looking for a third?
Oh, it's Sloane.

90
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:50,039
I think I'm falling in love with you.

91
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,880
Same, yeah. Where's that labyrinth at?

92
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,878
You thirsty fuckboy.

93
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:58,506
You told her all of our secrets?

94
00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:01,175
Okay, well, I guess now everybody knows

95
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:04,806
I can't poop unless someone's
holding my hand and telling me a story.

96
00:05:04,807 --> 00:05:06,055
Great.

97
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,176
I didn't know that.

98
00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:11,354
Sloane, why do you care
if Donna's the queen or not?

99
00:05:11,355 --> 00:05:15,773
Because my name's not Sloane.
It's Danielle.

100
00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:18,192
Danielle? Danielle.

101
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:21,445
That's right, Mother.
I've come back to you.

102
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:24,986
- Mother?
- Oh, ho-ho, sweetheart.

103
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,701
Is it really you?

104
00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:29,579
That's preposterous.
If you'd had a baby, we'd have known.

105
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,780
There's a lot you don't know
about me, little brother.

106
00:05:31,804 --> 00:05:35,392
Lucky for you, I wrote and illustrated
a children's book all about it.

107
00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:36,726
_

108
00:05:36,751 --> 00:05:38,375
I'm shopping it to publishers now.

109
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,920
One of them is the rat
that lives in the wall.

110
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:49,265
As a young girl, I was in love
with a hunky stable boy named Danny.

111
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,636
Look at the pecs on this kid.

112
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,981
The first time my womanly
rose bloomed...

113
00:05:53,982 --> 00:05:56,399
all over my fucking designer sheets...

114
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,188
I told no one.

115
00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:01,071
Uh, you said this book was for children?

116
00:06:01,072 --> 00:06:03,409
If my secret got out, they'd lock me up

117
00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:07,405
in a dick-proof chastity belt,
which is bullshit.

118
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:11,457
Eventually they caught me red-handed.
I had a heavy flow back then.

119
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,035
For fuck's sake.

120
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,959
On the eve of the period party,

121
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:18,298
Danny and I ran away
to start a new life together.

122
00:06:18,299 --> 00:06:21,625
It was a real fuckfest.

123
00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:25,301
And then Danielle was born.
Our life was perfect.

124
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,597
Until we were discovered
by my father's men.

125
00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:33,558
I was dragged back to the castle
and locked in this very tower.

126
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,560
It's a goddamn downer of an ending.

127
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,653
But I never knew what happened
to my baby after that.

128
00:06:39,654 --> 00:06:41,690
Hmmph. Or to Danny.

129
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,945
Donna, that's so tragic.

130
00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:46,566
No wonder you're absolutely unbearable.

131
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:51,163
Dad joined the circus to pursue
his lifelong dream of sword-swallowing.

132
00:06:51,164 --> 00:06:57,081
After he died... swallowing a sword...
I was raised by a family of acrobats.

133
00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:02,338
As their eldest child,
my mother is the rightful queen.

134
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,589
Making me the rightful heir.

135
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,301
And I'm not the only one who thinks so.

136
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,929
All of us who wear this insignia

137
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:13,850
believe that the true queen
has been locked up too long.

138
00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:18,020
Hah. The kingdom's never going to choose
my dingbat sister over me.

139
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,821
What choice will they have?

140
00:07:19,822 --> 00:07:24,355
I've spent months knocking off
every other blueblood

141
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,361
with a claim to the throne.

142
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:29,373
So, tomorrow at dawn,
in front of the whole world,

143
00:07:29,374 --> 00:07:31,075
I'll chop your heads off.

144
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:33,494
One, two, three.

145
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:37,915
Donna will be crowned queen,
and nobody can say shit about it.

146
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,456
Come along, Mother. Our legacy awaits.

147
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,920
Can I bring Daniel?

148
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,631
No, Mother. It's creepy.

149
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,556
Your girlfriend's a real cunt.

150
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:03,610
I can't believe my first real girlfriend
turned out to be a criminal mastermind.

151
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,652
Okay, wow.

152
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,451
Dating an assassin and
didn't even notice.

153
00:08:09,452 --> 00:08:12,908
Just another man, underestimating
a woman's capacity for evil.

154
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:13,868
Jeez.

155
00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,349
Hang in there, Patrick.

156
00:08:15,373 --> 00:08:18,249
All women are assassins
of one stripe or another.

157
00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:19,998
Most of them just kill your dreams.

158
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,626
Excuse me?

159
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:23,627
The kid's feeling down, dear.

160
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:26,419
Some light misogyny
can be a real pick-me-up.

161
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:30,047
On the other hand,
maybe I'm on the wrong side.

162
00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:33,387
But whatever.
She's not winning this breakup.

163
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,468
- I'm getting us out of here.
- Uh...

164
00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:38,981
Um, Patrick, I'm gonna need you
to hold my hand and tell me a story.

165
00:08:38,982 --> 00:08:40,097
Oh my god, no.

166
00:08:41,901 --> 00:08:43,397
- Patrick...
- Hmm.

167
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:44,778
Story.

168
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,071
What are you doing? I need that toilet!

169
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,910
The sewage system is a way out.

170
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,245
But I need a rope.

171
00:08:57,246 --> 00:09:00,996
Would a buttload of sex yarn help?

172
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,748
Why is he so damp?

173
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,549
Ugh! I need you to lower me down.

174
00:09:06,550 --> 00:09:09,966
If you need more slack,
unravel your aunt's homemade fuck doll.

175
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:18,933
Blue.

176
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:21,227
B-L-U-E.

177
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,478
Now pick a number.

178
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,897
Six.

179
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,068
One, two, three, four, five, six.

180
00:09:27,069 --> 00:09:28,484
Now pick a number.

181
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,485
Another number? Two.

182
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,067
This is ridiculous.

183
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,657
Okay, here's your fortune:

184
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:37,158
"Something exciting is headed your way."

185
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,910
How does it know?

186
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,412
Just does. Duh.

187
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:43,165
Are you witches? Do it again.

188
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,795
Alright, slow and steady.

189
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,929
The stink is making my eyes water!

190
00:09:54,930 --> 00:09:57,308
How the fuck do you think
it smells down here?

191
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,476
Oh! Fuck it! Ow! Shit!

192
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,227
Oh! Fuck! Ow! Ow!

193
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:05,855
Ow! Shit! Ow! Fuck!

194
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,156
Ow! Fuck!

195
00:10:19,912 --> 00:10:23,206
Time for Operation Steal Stuff, huh?

196
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:25,247
From the Castle.

197
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,250
We'll never get
another chance like this.

198
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:30,013
We need to find the vault. That's
where they'll keep the good stuff.

199
00:10:30,037 --> 00:10:32,553
We could really use an insider
right about now.

200
00:10:32,554 --> 00:10:33,758
Where's Patrick?

201
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,358
Holy shit!

202
00:10:35,428 --> 00:10:36,513
_

203
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:46,056
Guys. You're here.

204
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,772
Oh, thank God.

205
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,943
That shit golem sounds like Patrick.

206
00:10:49,944 --> 00:10:51,776
Oh no, nope, nope.

207
00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:53,567
If you hug me, I'll kill you.

208
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:57,280
There's been a coup.
The royal family's going to be executed.

209
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,622
You've got to help me free them.

210
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,196
Why would we ever do that?

211
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:05,039
Because it's our king and queen.

212
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,209
I don't even know the king's name, man.
Wait, is it Murray?

213
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,960
Patrick, it doesn't matter
who sits on the throne.

214
00:11:10,963 --> 00:11:13,923
Kings and queens come and go,
but they're all the same.

215
00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:16,054
They get rich and fat
while the rest of us suffer.

216
00:11:16,055 --> 00:11:19,595
Seriously, is it King Murray
and Queen Tina?

217
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,216
I think that's right, right?

218
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:23,643
What gives them the right to steal
from the rest of us?

219
00:11:23,644 --> 00:11:26,022
Wha...? But that's what you do.

220
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,725
Yes, well,
at least we're upfront about it.

221
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:32,360
And look, while you're here, um, you've
got the drawing skills in the family.

222
00:11:32,361 --> 00:11:36,109
Um, how about just whipping up
a quick map to the vault, huh?

223
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:40,946
Oh, and we're surrounded.

224
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:44,620
I guess you have no choice now, huh?

225
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,497
You have to help me fight.

226
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:50,038
They're not our enemy, Patrick.
They're yours.

227
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,881
Do you want this squire?
You can have him.

228
00:11:51,882 --> 00:11:53,879
We're doing our own
thing, don't mind us.

229
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,181
What?

230
00:11:56,758 --> 00:12:00,008
God dammit. I didn't choose
to be your little brother.

231
00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:04,772
But I always believed, deep down, that
when it mattered, you'd have my back.

232
00:12:04,773 --> 00:12:06,976
Because I'm your family.

233
00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,806
But if that's not true...

234
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:13,403
I guess I have no one to blame
but myself.

235
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,147
You told me my whole
life I didn't matter.

236
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,120
It's my fault for not believing you.

237
00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:27,246
Ah, fuck, he's right.

238
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,291
He's our brother. Huh!

239
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:34,128
Yeah! And nobody beats up
our brother but us.

240
00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:35,338
Bam!

241
00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:37,589
Thanks, you guys.

242
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,565
Suck on this!

243
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:49,810
Heh-heh-hey!

244
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,190
- Ugggh!
- Patrick!

245
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,947
Jesus Christ, Patrick!

246
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:03,908
My girlfriend's evil
and I'm covered in shit.

247
00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:07,119
I'm working through some residual anger.

248
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,132
Oh, God.

249
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:15,090
Oh, hell no.

250
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:22,757
Ugh, this tower is murder
on my quads. Oh!

251
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,061
Sloane!

252
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,264
- Ha-ha!
- Danielle.

253
00:13:26,265 --> 00:13:29,095
Sorry, I can't keep your lies straight.

254
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,783
Don't be mad at me.

255
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,736
If you adjust your perspective
a teensy bit,

256
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,779
I'm actually the hero of this story.

257
00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:47,084
Uggh! What?

258
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:51,422
You're a liar. And a killer.

259
00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:55,877
What choice did I have?
My mother is the rightful queen.

260
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:58,087
You can't deny that.

261
00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:00,047
It's not that simple.

262
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:09,678
The Old King locked up Donna. But
then Merriman locked up the Old King.

263
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,643
What? The Old King died of plague.

264
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:16,774
The Old King is still alive.
Donna isn't the rightful anything.

265
00:14:16,775 --> 00:14:18,073
And neither is Merriman.

266
00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:21,026
That... That can't be true.

267
00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:27,408
Look, what happened to your mom sucks.
Chastity belts are barbaric.

268
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,159
But according to the law,

269
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:32,411
she gave up her shot at the throne
when she broke the rules.

270
00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:35,174
But Merriman broke the rules too.
So what does it matter?

271
00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:39,587
Join us! My mother is queen now.

272
00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:42,668
She can make you a knight.
You can be my boyfriend.

273
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:45,722
And if we work as a couple,
you know, travel well together,

274
00:14:45,723 --> 00:14:47,299
see how cohabitation goes.

275
00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:50,640
Who knows? You could be king one day.

276
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:01,821
So, you really feel that way about me?
You weren't just using me?

277
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:07,949
Oh, you weren't even a part of my plan.
You were just a happy accident.

278
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,950
I liked hanging out with you.

279
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:11,619
God dammit. I...

280
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:14,539
I liked it too.

281
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:17,170
It doesn't matter who sits
on the throne.

282
00:15:17,171 --> 00:15:21,417
Kings and queens come and go,
but they're all the same.

283
00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:26,965
And Merriman is
an objectively terrible ruler.

284
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:29,049
The people are suffering.

285
00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:31,774
Exactly. You'd be doing the right thing.

286
00:15:31,775 --> 00:15:32,974
For everybody.

287
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:36,225
Plus you'd get to see me naked.

288
00:15:37,189 --> 00:15:39,857
That does sound like a win-win.

289
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:49,915
Yaaa!

290
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:52,949
Well, that was annoying.

291
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:54,040
Alright, fun's over.

292
00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:56,956
Let's go commit some crimes
to balance out the good deed.

293
00:15:56,957 --> 00:16:00,287
Time for Operation Steal Stuff
We're Gonna Steal.

294
00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:03,173
Before We Got Sidetracked
By Personal Growth.

295
00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:10,353
I mean, I bet I'd get a lot more respect
at home if I were king.

296
00:16:10,354 --> 00:16:13,514
And it could happen
sooner than you think.

297
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:17,435
Mother could always catch a bad case
of fall-down-the-stairs-itis,

298
00:16:17,436 --> 00:16:18,686
if you know what I mean.

299
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:22,267
You'd kill your own mother?

300
00:16:22,274 --> 00:16:23,900
No. I'm sorry.

301
00:16:23,901 --> 00:16:26,821
I swore an oath
and I'm not going back on it.

302
00:16:26,822 --> 00:16:31,740
Promises don't seem to mean
that much to you, but they do to me!

303
00:16:33,452 --> 00:16:36,832
You dickhead!
Now you're never gonna see me naked.

304
00:16:36,833 --> 00:16:38,120
Think about that.

305
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:45,916
Give up. Your people
are getting their asses kicked.

306
00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:49,592
And once the army hears you've attacked
the castle, they'll return to help.

307
00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:50,676
You can't win.

308
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,967
Yes, I can!

309
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:55,014
I'll blow up the royal family!

310
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:58,095
And I already killed everyone else
in the line of succession.

311
00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,268
So guess what?

312
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:03,064
It's gonna be Mother
or it's gonna be nobody!

313
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:07,701
No!

314
00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:15,492
What the fuck?!

315
00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:23,292
Holy fucking asscrackers!

316
00:17:25,504 --> 00:17:28,092
- Blossom!
- Sweetheart. Are you alright?

317
00:17:28,093 --> 00:17:29,549
I'm still alive, Mom.

318
00:17:29,550 --> 00:17:32,930
Don't make such a big deal
out of everything. God.

319
00:17:32,931 --> 00:17:34,678
Mama!

320
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,930
Sorry, darling, I'm busy not
making a big deal out of it.

321
00:17:38,852 --> 00:17:40,152
Patrick!

322
00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:51,904
- Ha-ha!
- Yeah! Kill her, Patrick.

323
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,445
Curb-stomp her!

324
00:18:04,168 --> 00:18:05,918
Give up, Danielle.

325
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:08,459
Give up? I already won.

326
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:10,423
Once this tower falls,

327
00:18:10,424 --> 00:18:15,803
the only heir to the throne
still alive will be Mother!

328
00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:18,222
It's a perfect plan, sweetheart.

329
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:20,730
Mother?
What the fuck are you doing up here?

330
00:18:20,731 --> 00:18:22,096
I came back for Daniel.

331
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:25,312
Oh! You're ruining everything!

332
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,736
Fine. Go ahead and die, Mother.

333
00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:33,987
That means I'm heir to the throne.

334
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:35,364
Squirrel wings!

335
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:40,160
Raised in a circus, bitch!

336
00:18:45,042 --> 00:18:47,042
Guess we're doing this, then.

337
00:18:48,212 --> 00:18:49,837
Squirrel wings!

338
00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:54,506
Fashion show! Fashion show...

339
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:05,520
Hey, look, that lady's flying.

340
00:19:10,651 --> 00:19:13,236
Take Human Shield!

341
00:19:13,237 --> 00:19:14,277
What?

342
00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:17,159
Did you guys know there's
a hidden passageway back here?

343
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,907
Grab whatever's not nailed down
and follow us.

344
00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:25,956
Yes!

345
00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:29,958
There goes my sister.
Always making it about her.

346
00:19:33,257 --> 00:19:35,087
Hurry. Into the shit chute!

347
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,885
I'm gonna take the stairs.

348
00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:40,216
Get in that fucking toilet!

349
00:19:41,265 --> 00:19:44,135
Patrick, since we're
probably going to die,

350
00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:48,855
I want you to know,
you're like the son I never had.

351
00:19:48,856 --> 00:19:50,726
Thank you, Sire.

352
00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:54,112
I should specify: the son I never had,
that I am aware of.

353
00:19:54,113 --> 00:19:55,151
Right.

354
00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:57,453
- I get around, Patrick.
- Sire, please jump.

355
00:19:58,323 --> 00:19:59,782
Yaa!

356
00:20:09,418 --> 00:20:12,168
Oh my god. The royal family.

357
00:20:12,171 --> 00:20:14,211
Designated survivor, baby!

358
00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:18,801
Fuck!

359
00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:23,639
Your majesties. You're alive!

360
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,350
Yes, the expression I'm making
doesn't mean I'm not thrilled.

361
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:28,481
I'm-I'm-I'm thrilled.

362
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,611
Has anyone seen Patrick?

363
00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:33,193
Patrick.

364
00:20:39,907 --> 00:20:41,407
- There he is!
- Patrick!

365
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:43,117
Oh, he's fine.

366
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:44,577
Buddy, you did it.

367
00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:45,908
Everyone.

368
00:20:45,913 --> 00:20:49,498
Do not drink the moat water.

369
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:52,669
It links directly to the sewage system.

370
00:20:57,424 --> 00:21:00,684
This is so gross,
but I can't stop looking at it.

371
00:21:00,685 --> 00:21:02,845
Where were you, dumb whores?

372
00:21:02,846 --> 00:21:04,305
You're supposed to protect me.

373
00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:08,636
Oh, whoops. You should probably fire us.

374
00:21:08,644 --> 00:21:09,894
No way.

375
00:21:09,895 --> 00:21:12,355
God as my witness, Human Shield,

376
00:21:12,356 --> 00:21:14,816
you will die protecting me.

377
00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:20,029
Oh. Hello, Ruben.

378
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:22,950
Holden. How's your fiancée?

379
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,577
Donna, stop being so dramatic. Get up.

380
00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:30,289
Oh my god.

381
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:32,124
Today was a disaster.

382
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,205
Eh, maybe.

383
00:21:33,210 --> 00:21:35,127
But you should be proud
of yourself, Patrick.

384
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,128
Proud?

385
00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:38,419
You killed the Minotaur,
defeated the assassin,

386
00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:40,553
and rescued the whole
fuckin' royal family.

387
00:21:41,176 --> 00:21:43,546
Huh. I guess I did all that, huh?

388
00:21:43,554 --> 00:21:46,264
Am I actually good at this job?

389
00:21:46,265 --> 00:21:47,345
You know what?

390
00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:50,184
I hereby take you off my shart list.

391
00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:52,854
I'm a good squire.

392
00:21:52,855 --> 00:21:54,685
This is the greatest day of my life.

393
00:21:54,690 --> 00:21:56,819
And here I had you pegged as the squire

394
00:21:56,820 --> 00:21:58,937
most likely to cut his own head off
by accident.

395
00:21:58,944 --> 00:22:01,784
Who's at the top of that list now? Huh?

396
00:22:03,031 --> 00:22:04,451
Is it me?

397
00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:07,157
It's me, isn't it?

398
00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:10,496
Yeah...

399
00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:11,827
it's me.

400
00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:13,132
Nice.

401
00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:20,672
Thinks he'll put his daddy
out to pasture, eh?

402
00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:26,554
When I escape this gilded cage,
sonny boy's gonna reap the whirlwind.

403
00:22:26,579 --> 00:22:31,329
He's gonna enter a hell
previously unknown to mankind.

404
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:35,897
I wonder if any
of those snickerdoodles are left.

405
00:22:37,274 --> 00:22:39,108
Hello, Gramps.

406
00:22:42,783 --> 00:22:45,002
_

407
00:22:45,027 --> 00:22:49,416
Addic7ed.com...